Kumail Nanjiani Standup Monologue - SNL 

Arges Hagan @

He didnt make fun of religion tho, he just pointed out the obvious :D

Honestly, it was meh. I think he's very funny, but these writers are not unfortunately.

Literally anyone who can speak can do that

Arges Hagan without mentioning Trump!

an informed racist is stupid

ronnie wilson most racists are racist because they are informed.

@Bee Gilbert thanks for explaining that.

Informed people are never racists though.

@@robertgoldman1579 racists are racists because they are intolerant, hateful and prejudiced. No other reason.

bilal ahmad thanks, I had no idea I even had that many likes. Cool. 😎

bilal ahmad enjoy yours internet buddy

Please, can u explain me that joke? I'd be super thankful

@@mariaotano1659 It's a play on the old saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."

You had 2099(2K) likes i clicked and now you have 2.1K likes ... i don't know why iam typing this... it's been 4 years...

Why do americans find such cheap jokes so funny ?

@@ekrem8847 coz they don't know their origin

@@sumitjoshi011 nigga chillll😂😂😂😂

Julian Morgan - 6:17

@@ekrem8847 why r u watching

Cringe

Any informed racist here?

But once informed, most don't stay racist. That's why informed racists are so rare

I want that on a t-shirt.

That was funny but I couldn't help thinking that an informed racist would stop being a racist.

Aimen P. (Pakistani atheist) ex Muslim he was raised Shi’a Muslim but isn’t religious anymore

@@hamzadolman1081 so what?

@@champagnealamanzar6891 I appreciate your replay and candor. Sharia law is not something that one can half do - its either all or nothing. There are some who say "oh well we wouldnt adopt THAT portion of Sharia Law" and you simply cannot do that. I part company with you, however, that most speak out - that is flat out not true. You will attack those who criticize Islam, but you will not say one word to those who use Islam as an excuse for violent behavior. Its a fact, not a matter of what the media shows. The media WOULD show that when it happens as that pushes the message that Islam is peace, so if there were folks who opposed Jihad, why wouldnt they show that? The truth is because you would be slaughtered. Hundreds of thousands of Muslims have been murdered for opposing jihad. Two muslim scholars even did a study that over 80% of mosques in the US preach some sort of violence ( _Mordechai Kedar and David Yerushalmi Middle Eastern Quarterly, 2011_ )

@@champagnealamanzar6891 Well, then its up to you and me brother, to help keep peace in this world. Im ever in your neck of the woods, the first round is on me (Im a root beer man myself) :) Pizza, hot wings, you name it. Stay safe, man!

Being a Pakistani Muslim doesn’t make it good, it’s good for everyone

too soon

You're freaking name is Ansari. What about your bro Aziz?

Indeed ! 🤣🤣🤣🤩🌎🌍

I read this comment just as it started & was thinking yeah okay whatever, but I have to say I agree.

Not PC, but Louis CK had the BEST monologue of all time.

I agree..loved it! 😄

Yea even Hasan covered it sometime back with Trevor

u think it's intelligent because you're sikh. so dumb lmao

I always get the accent talk. Oh you sound so articulate, you must from somewhere else...

Elana Henderson/Minister Ahahahaha!

People are so generous these days! Free vacations! It's like paying it forward...but bigger!

Elana Henderson/Minister I've gotten "go back to Afghanistan" and I was like.... hmmm... guess who's got a leg up on being an international super spy? The Latin chick who somehow looks middle eastern. Dude, racists are so weird. Sometimes I want to punch em, but other times I'm almost impressed at how creative the stupidity is.

If someone said to me "Go back to the Philippines!!!" I would not give a single shit

Yeah!! I wish SNL has some kinda feedback or wishlist thing they can get from their fanbase.

@@faizan3361 l

Every now and then a professional standup comedian actually gets celebrity enough to be on SNL haha. Rare!

same

@@spookikerii people have been saying it's right when he says "Frisbees and golf", because he mentioned on a podcast (Armchair Expert) that he screwed up his words right as he saw him. *shrugs*

Me too!

came for the same reason

0:44 is the moment he sees him.

Vance Wade The delivery on that joke was amazing

Vance Wade I'm Sikh and I know exactly what he means so well done to him for getting our point of view

It really was. I am also a Sikh

"The Big Sikh"

Get it right which is wrong.

Simon James I thought she was going to say "killed people during the 9/11 choas.

Lol. Talking about islamaphobia when the parents literally didn’t want him to marry just because she is white. Yeah...islamaphobia alright

Is that the one where Will gets thrown off a building for being gay and Grace is punished for travelling without a mahram?

Johnny Tumavitch So if rich parents don't want their child to marry a poor person, do they have "poorophobia"? It is common (wrong, but common) that parents of older generations want their children to marry "their own kind" - be it race, status, or whatever, but Nanjianis parents accepted his decision - his making fun of it and pointing it out shows he is willing to fight misconceptions in his own culture as well. No culture/country is perfect.

My 1st 1,000th Thumbs Up. A good one.

They did on a zoom interview

And all the white people will laugh on India and Pakistan.

Yes please

@@VY-zt3ph and the brown ones too dude

Yes sure. All Pakistanis are handsome by the way. And proud to be a Pakistani ;)

@@shahjahanshaikh3019 stop lying

@@SSHANK213 don't be jealous

@@shahjahanshaikh3019 i am a Pakistani lmao

And the shoes too 👌🏼

Yeah half of these are jokes he used in the past. Which I normally wouldn't care about but I just binged Kumail stand up and I knew the punchline to every joke besides the Sikh and informed racist one. Also it's pronounced "Sick" with a little emphasis on the H not "seek". I'm a Sikh for reference.

Good to know. I taught with Sikh teachers in Australia but I pronounced it "seek." You learn something every day.

Joseph Paul I feel like people don't want to call us "sick" because it sounds bad so people will be PC about it instead of talking to a Sikh. Slightly disappointed Kumail didn't know how to pronounce it either. Oh well.

You might be right. It's sad but often pop culture has to pander to the least educated audience. But some of us are trying to pay attention and learn.

You might be right. It's sad but often pop culture has to pander to the least educated audience. But some of us are trying to pay attention and learn.

Sam V haha me too

I held the phone to my face closer to see their reactions lol

Why??

Go back to Thailand, the only southeast Asia country that was never colonized by any other European country. That is what gave the country's Prathet name "land of the free."

Yahya typical ignorant racism. Wrong country.

Souk Khanhsila I know, right? I'd be so impressed by the racist that I couldn't possibly be mad at them.

Nobody gives a fuck about where your Mongolian looking ass is from.

What do you reckon Robert Goodman's problem is?

You want to marry into a racist family? Are you nuts?

@@anthonyarredondo9587 What are you?

you can do that to my parents :D FTR second marriage is allowed in Islam :D

Same here -- I love him!!

@UCflYenlUc8cSHteQcwo1qEg they are not racist, they don't hate white people, they just don't want to marry into white families. There is a difference. Purebred is the term.

Thanks, had to scroll down too far for this lol

was looking for this !

FaRtBoMb42 this is wrong

FaRtBoMb42 it’s at 2:25

daniela curi Me too! I love this guy!

every dog has his day

I've liked him since he was on "The Green Room."

Biniam Gaming you should watch silicon valley. He's a nugget of gold.

He's in the 12 Angry Men Inside Amy Schumer episode as well. That one is on the short list for me for funniest episodes of any tv show ever.

Yeah this dude's a g! You gotta see mean tweets with him. He has comebacks also. He's gonna be special if not already.

Robert Goldman r u dumb lol

@Robert Goldman- You mean the propaganda that skews the image of others and ignores the differences that make us all human. Or the propaganda that is spewed daily by closet bigots and racists for are fearful and intimidated of anyone differing from them? Get out of here you incompetent Neanderthal.

flipparachi777 oh shit that was good

As the man said, at least be an informed racist Robert Goldman. Actually, Robert Moron is a more fitting title.

Emil Smith Nielsen You're very handsome! I hope that made you're day! 😁👍

really? I thought it was Donald Trump

Sean McDannold marry a white woman 3 times? Fuck the peace sign let it rain on you

It's a common idiom. Original is "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"

BRBallin1 yeah but jcole used it in his song

BRBallin1 no it’s “fool me once shame on you, fool me you can’t get fooled again”

倪传历 oh, hell yes!

Rosebud Girl same

Deep rooted Misogyny, homophobia and antisemitism in the Quran - and more importantly, in practice by a disturbing number of Muslims - should be a genuine liberal concern. It's a shame the left is sooner to rush to islam's defense then to its victims. As for the joke, that's about the only PC Quran joke one could make; "it says women can't drive" (nobody makes the claim the Quran says that).

exactly, pathological. if you want a realistic take on muslim culture, just look up the comments of the many ex-muslims out there. there was an excellent ex-muslim conference in england recently which would give anyone a reality check about the religion and its problems with sexism and violence. there is a distinction between racism and that of critical thought about an abusive ideology. all ideologies, whether religious or otherwise, that teach sexism, patriarchy, inequality and violence should be challenged.

so in your mind addressing reality is "going too far." reality check, dealing with reality is not going too far for all of the women in muslim cultures who are controlled by men, for the atheists and gay people being killed or fearing for their lives, etc.. good job with your thinking there, ryan. here's a link to one panel at a recent ex-muslim conference in england for a reality check: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-37K9PuEHubQ.html from that link you can find and view the rest of the conference panels as well. pretty eye opening.

I do take secular blasphemy laws like the shielding of Islam from criticism seriously. And if you cared about human rights, you would too.

Uh, no. Criticism of Islam is not bigotry or a persecution of a people. It's very simple actually; ideas =/= people. People have rights. Ideologies do not

Emmanuel Alejandro This isn't really stand-up...

Indoor kids lmao. Never heard that one before but it's great.

Indoor Kids was a podcast that he did with his wife.

This is literally some of his stand up material

chicken sandwich

Jeff A there is only one

@@SouravBasuRoy Still more than many other countries

@@Kaliphate on a scale of 1 to 10 exactly how illiterate are you ?

@@SouravBasuRoy Woah, looks like someone cant take a joke

@@Kaliphate how will i know you were being sarcastic ?

Same here, I order the lamb and rice platter, they bring it right up to my office

Lina Tran the Sikh vs Muslim part was so well done

Oh because he's Middle Eastern he's a delivery guy?? 😉

The Indian Sub-continent is farther away from the Middle East than the Irish isles.

Chris.....so he's Irish?

v2lab omg check this hilarious stand up out 😂😭 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-JAJfbcjOtvs.html

As an Indian living in America myself, it’s a common mistake. Just don’t say it to native-born Indians and Pakistanis because they will eat you up.

He is not indian he our proud pakistani.

Basically same thing

Indians and Pakistanis look the same anyway since they were the same country a while back I'm saying this as a Pakistani

@@Gemnist98 I know.

He's from Pakisthan, so no he can't.

shotlee J that's the dumbest fucking shit I've ever heard. Idiots like you are the reason why Obama and Trump became president.

He's one of those people who are too smart to run for office, anyway.

shotlee J OF COURSE.....because telling jokes clearly means you understand economics, Criminal and Civil Justice matters and have the Moral strength needed in a public official to withstand people trying to bride or coerce you to do something against the public good. Let me guess, By your Clearly elaborate vetting of candidates for public office. I'm betting you Voted for Hillary Clinton and you probably did just because she was a woman and because she told everyone it was her turn to be president and told everyone they were sexist if they didn't vote for her corrupt, war mongering ass!

BRBallin1 he said an office. Its only the presidency that you have to be a natural citizen. You can run for any other office. Arnold Schwarzenegger became govenor of California despite being born in Austria.

You got a link to the video?

Look up The Indoor Kids on the Nerdist channel. It's Kumail and his wife playing games with guests.

r u related 2 Rubius Hagrid?

Brown girl called Ruby Hagrid... seems legit

Your name is Ruby Hagrid....and you're a brown woman.....yeah uh-huh....

If you had said Hugh Grant it would’ve made his day.

I see it also and did a double take

It’s the hair.

Crofregernish Super hot also.

im pakistani and i love ranch

Joshua Kazemi, I think 3:00 is where he “stumbles on the word”

I rewatched it just to find this moment. Thanks!

That's why I'm here 😁😁

Armchairies unite!

@@DiceMonkeyGames btw for the record, that's how I think Armchairies should be spelled but Dax always spells it Armcherries. I love him but hate that spelling hahaha

I got that reference

best comment yet

Hell yeah it can

hahahahaha

😂 😂 😂

know any Urdu?

Vegans Por Vida check out my vlogs of Pakistan cheers

Pakistanis are Caucasian. Caucasian doesn’t just mean white

Pakistani is a “nationality” not a “race” nor an “ethnicity”.

Must look Lebanese then

andrineslife ...mmokaay

ok uncle jack...

BAGAKOOS I just want you to know I understood this reference. #IASIP

And smile,, body and face, oh and hair and eyebrows omg

What kind of a retarded ass comment is this, lol?