There was a movie called Yes Man by Jim carrey. I saw it as a young boy and I seem to have missed the implied message and dived head first into being a yes man. It's been a very painful journey so far where the constant mistreatment by friends and colleagues has left me a bitter person who avoids people and relations completely. I realise it every time I do it but that crucial period of the first few seconds passes leaving me wondering why I do it every time. Thank you Guruji for the topic. I will acknowledge every time I do it and note it down to avoid repeating it.
These are my observations. 1. As a lady i have seen anywhere u go they ask u to work in kitchen, any place u go as a guest they just ask u to step in kitchen. 2. Friends asking u to pay and they never return back the money. 3. People making sudden plans and asking u to join, if u disagree then they say u are boring ye woh, chal maza ayega and then u agree 4. Kisi bhi skill ka favour lena, Shadi wale ghar me ki hamara makeup kar do, hum sabki mehndi laga do. Eventually u get ready in hurry. 5. Boss asking u to stay little longer in office. 6. If u have car then asking to drop them even if it's not in your route. 7. In group projects one person doing all the work. Same in office. Total exploitation. 8. Parents asking to book tickets, book cabs and stuff for relatives who will never do the same for u or your parents and eventually u keep loosing money. Parents k dikhawe k chakkar me. 9. If u are artist, asking for free service , free haircut kar do Zara sa, eyebrow bana do, facial kar do, hamara sketch bana do, painting bana do, anniversary k liye apni shop se free gift de do. 10. Friends/ relatives taking away your car/bike and not returning on time/or returning with empty tank. 11. Ristedar aapke Ghar aake jam jate hain, their holiday =your miserable life
I am studying abroad, I would like to share that all the Indian students are a big victim of this Good boy syndrom, they are all so agreeable. They always want ro be in good books of the professors, on Part time with the team leaders of departments, they even sacrifice their lunch breaks to make good relations with anyone at work thinking "ye kuch kaam ayega". I have lived here longer than most new commers and I was always "selfish" about my time, energy and efforts. I find the other Indian students miserable, they think and feel guilty if they don't make others "khush" or if they not in anyone's good books. Plus, 99.99% Indian students fail miserably to organise life atleast in the first 1 year, room looks like a war zone, there is no fixed time of even highly predicable things, always talk very loud, disturb others at any time, no knowledge of local rules of noise/shanti. When They party they houl and make noises and play "tunak tunak tun ta na na" every other 10 minutes because foreigners here know only that song. They are not living life for themselves.. Rather they put on a movie show for others to have fun. There are many good things such as hardworking nature, brain, skills, adaptability to weather etc, but the bad things outweigh the good things easily.
Don’t be so sweet that people will keep chewing you. Don’t be so bitter that people will spit you out. This is what my mother used to say. Your tip to decide areas where you should be agreeable and areas where to be non agreeable is excellent. Thanks for the video.
I can really feel this... I always wanted to be likeable....in family I didn't get my own space , in office I feel like I am doing dumbest work given without any revolt...now will be aware on such things
In Indian households (can at least for North India), kids raised prior to 2000 were taught agreebleness from absolute childhood where you aren't supposed to question anything said by parents. Saaru baat suno, unka kaha maano. Unko job market ke baare mein kuchh nahin pata hai, but unki 'mechanical is evergreen branch' jaisi befaaltu ki advice ko challenge mar karo. Same thing then happens at work as we start treating our boss as father-figure.
Very true Sir.. I had been exploited many times in school, college ,home and work place too because I didn't say no to the thing I didn't agree. Like my mindset is not to drop certain person at station from my family but all relatives tend to agree me to go it yar... Kr de yar... I said "no" first time. One important point which Sir mentioned it, is within 3-4 seconds if don't say no.. Then you're agree with them.. Thanks a ton sir for this valuable vedio.
Sir pranam I am writing from bengulure I saw your yede pede video I enjoy the session Sir,most of the time I am not agreeable to many relatives, friends and society I always talk like you I am 56 years old So no body like me and I have no friend
Yes Sir, it happens with me. In such situation i think ‘why to spoil our karma by speaking bad. Leave it.’ But it so happens that our whole day is spoiled and mind becomes entangled in thoughts. Thank you for this awareness video sir 🙏🏻
I have a relatives family who don't care even if I say no in the first 3 to 4 seconds. They keep forcing and giving names if I don't do what they say. I have observed that when my husband started to be in sync with me and supporting me then they stopped doing it. Family support is very imp when we disagree so that other party can keep quiet.
Mere saath toh ye itna hua hain ki ek samay bahut bitterness aa gaya thaa mann mein har kisi ke prati .Fir samjh aaya ki galti meri hi thi jo har baat maan jaata thaa.
Koi mujh se pense maangta hai becara banker to mnaa nhee kr paati,..Aur phir dene mea rula dete hain.,,Ab dene band kr diye to mjhe aggressive arogance khte hai.. Bt now i m happy..Bhaad mea gye eshe log..Chulhe mea jaayen sab k sab u r absolute right..
It's as relevant as learn to say "NO" in inappropriate situations. We are constantly worried about opinion of others or what will they say.Maintain your boundaries. Don't be people pleaser. If you keep saying yes to each and every1 people will start dumping there trash into you. If we keep doing people pleasing we keep attracting toxic/ abusive people in life such is lesson to overly empathetic people. Self preservation is the key.Dont do anything that you don't want .Be clear in what you can & cant tolerate.Learn self love
Yes i faced "Yes Man" Issue. I was a top student in school and other guys used to trust their own issues with me [fayda utha rahe the help nhi chahiye tha alas tha unko] . Then i wrote Learn to say no in my home . 😂 yeah from then i am a badass guy in life no one cross paths with me
I just joined govt job. I use to agree to my senior's advice irrespective of his motto. I think if I say no to him, how he'll react to me. My colleagues say that I am very simple. I want to be a person who falls in between agreeable and non agreeable. Pls help...
Very true Amit ji. Last year I went to my home town for just 2 days. I usually goes once a year. I have planned to visit some friends nearby 2-3 villages to give consolations due to death of their near and dear but one of my neighbour requested to accompany with him to District HQ and favour in one issue. I went with him and gave support to him and his cause succeeded but due to lake if time yet I have not visited that villages for consolidation and I felt my mistake when he stand against my younger brother like enemy during a valuable work some benefits were gaining by my younger brother.
Sir i would say I'm in between , earlier i used to PPL pleaser during college days .it happened with me because of my family they all are PPL pleaser till and now they think I'm black sheep of family .
Sir, no nahi kah pata, ye soch ke ki, future me sayad Banda, mera Kam ayega. In another case 2nd person creats a situation that, consistency works to say Yes. Again people always try to get my attention/help by showing me a very great idealistic social people. A happy feeling inside me works to say Yes, which is temporary and realised the pain after loosing the money or time.
To learn more about this , one can apply this formula ... Though I will not suggest to use it in front of parents. Whenever someone asks for something or a favour , your mind should think - इसमें मेरा क्या फायदा? If you don't see any positive thing for you in that, mostly there will be nothing for you except maintaining a healthy relationship, then straight away you should be like - तो मुझे क्या! and politely refuse or make an excuse ... Forming this habbit will yield good results इसमें मेरा क्या ? तो मुझे क्या !
my father has always taught me *zingadi me har baar meetha nahi banna, thoda hamari bhi bano, haramipane se samne wala aukat me rehta hai* and I can relate each and every thing😂😂😂😂
I remeber once it was new year Eve and i had an important exam nearby so taken leave that day, my office friends were a day back has palnned to go in club, my aggreable bullshi# nature that i knew i dont drink and dance, still at first hesitate but because all were in such good mood & insist so i said yes... Then in the new eve day, when i was at home, friend call comes: "bhai aaja xyz club mai", again i wanted to say no, because i had my stuff to do,,, & i had in my mind to finish my targeted chapters, and also i was also not in party mood, but don't know way again said"yes", .... Then hrs passed,, at evening they were like: dokhebaaz, tu yaar, tughe to kabhi puchna hi nahi chahiye. My Whole evening spend in overthinking, dimak ka baaji plau ban gaya
Thanks for raising a great topic. But you only scratched the surface. Would have been better to give 50 examples which people can relate to and learn from. Not that people are not aware of this mentality. Everyone is aware of of this. The test lies in achieving the balance which people are not able to do. Giving examples which people can relate is the key thing which this video lacks.
Amit sir i have a query I usually don't take call of every friends. As a youth I want to know whom should you ignore whom you shouldn't. Because this is related to the video. As I have been a likeable person because I agree and adjust. Please make a video of it. Or guide me in this
Sir I I am currently doing a job in GDS(Post Office). I get a salary of 15k. My age is 20. Should I continue this job or go to college? If college then for which course? If you answer it will be really helpful for me!
I have done my graduation and seen many people doing the same no use after graduation also you will get 20-30 k after 3 years minimum isseh toh acha ap promote hougey ya achi job dekhtey hue switch krogey college ki fees Dena waste lga mujhe isseh better skills ke courses krlo apni personality achi krke
@@vijayg3223 whatever skills you feel you are good at try to monetize them and use them more and more like if you are good at maths start as home tutor you will have another income stream. It is just an example
Non agreeable. Specially in job/work... non agreeable for lending money, reject food offers when not hungry... do not take calls or answer mails after 7pm and before 9am if the person is not most loved one or jinko sunke man khush ho jata hai... easily can say NO if I do not convinced or liked anything... I lost many things because of it, specially in work/job but people respect me that I stand on my ground.
No-nonsense , no compromise on values , non-pliable , ' stimulus- pause (pre delibrated)-response principle , no robbers of me time . Not ' 100% not agreeable .
