Straight man here: it’s true, I have several lesbian friends because they truly don’t care about my sexuality or gender, we became friends in early middle school and we just never stopped talking to each other because we are that close.
Wait you have several lesbian friends? Since middle school? I've lived in two cities with major large gay populations and I can't even make one, let alone a lesbian bar that's been around longer than two years.
TikTok is great for many things, but my biggest issue is how the algorithms platform people with bad takes. They take people who say "lesbians hate all men" make it trend over genuinely good takes.
its on purpose, somewhat. facebook does the same. ragebait/rageclicks get more engagement, get people to stay online longer, to scroll for more, more money for the website.
@@aud7593 RU-vid used to and might still consider dislikes the same as likes for promotion in the algorithm. The rise of alt right content is ironically heavily driven by big tech.
I try not to hate men, as a lesbian. I try really hard. I'm always reminding myself there are good ones. It's hard when so many of them question my sexuality, try to push my boundaries after I tell them I am not interested in men and say they can "show me a good time," and just generally don't leave me alone. I'm not seeking men out and harassing them, they won't leave me alone! I have good male family members and friends, but I often feel weary of men as a group.
As a man, I understand; I try not to be offended, because 1. I know I don't have much right and 2. I'm aware that a lot of men are absolutely awful-I want to thank you for trying so hard to keep an open mind.
I can't remember who originally said the joke but this reminds me of "Lesbians aren't against Phallic things, it's what they're attached to that's the problem".
@@torque244 truuuue, especially since trans lesbians absolutely do sometimes date cis lesbians who are more than ok with them still having a pp if they haven't or don't want to get bottom surgery
I feel like men tear each other down the most, ironically. Women will complain about men, but if a guy does something maybe a bit vulnerable or not as masculine, guys will turn on him so fast as tho they dont complain about male loneliness and mental health issues
It's kind of the same when men says "men get 🍇 too" in a post where women shares their traumatising experiences. What's funny is those dudes who say that never experienced it, the women who vent has, those men who are victim are usually a victim of other men too. And when a boy does get 🍇 (by a women), other men are the one saying they got lucky, or they get rizz. It's disturbing. They hate 🚺 so much that they only care about other men only to put women down.
Literally half the female friendships I've encountered are described like this, there's a reason why we say "no one tears a woman down more than another woman" it's because you guys actively do sure I've seen men make fun of their male friends for showing a bit of emotion at the wrong time but at least we're able to keep tolerance over a simple discussion about different ideals unlike women it only takes one girl to disagree with the clique on something, and you guys rip into her like hungry hyenas.
Yup, think about the reverse of this too. Gay men aren't known for their hatred of women lol some of the broest friends I have are lesbian women. Best pool hustler I know is one of them lol
It's such a weird thing to say unironically. Like I be telling straight mfs "imagine if a gay dude built like a tank refused to leave your personal space and kept saying he can make you gay, you is the gay dude here" 😂
Lesbians were the first to jump into the deep end when AIDS was killing gay men in the 1980s. They were there right along with us doing all the scary & messy work that comes with taking care of the dying. Lesbians will always be people that I appreciate & am grateful for. I don't know many young people from this current generation, but in my heart i believe lesbians will always ride to the front lines being shining examples of the greatness human beings can rise up to be in the face of overwhelming tragedy. I love you all!❤
@@christopherbennett5858 there were no Trans-Women taking on the AIDS Crisis & I've never seen trans women do anything to support people dying of AIDS. It was only lesbians & gay men taking care of dying AIDS patients. The medical establishment wouldn't even touch people dying of AIDS, it was up to lesbians & gay men who washed their bodies & changed their sheets & clothing. Never once did I see a trans woman on the ward at Saint Vincents Hospital in NYC during the epidemic unless they were dying themselves. So your statement doesn't stand up to scrutiny.
Yes. And especially we have to remember to give credit to the black and brown Trans women who literally broke down barriers even when they weren't trying. They are the ones that are really holding our community together.
@@noahmoody1640true, I'm an aspiring hermit and don't hate people, I just like solitude (I'm autistic and ADHD, most people are overwhelming to be around for me)
Not a lesbian, just a tomboy. Throughout my life, I've been accused by men that I hated women because I made friends with guys easier while women accused me of hating men because of my appearance. I said no, I don't discriminate. I hate everyone😂
Having traits that people consider a part of the masculine stereotype as a woman really leads to a lot of weird experiences with both men and women. Shit is annoying.
As a lesbian, I fully agree. I don’t HATE men but when my one straight friend recently told me she had to move across the country because her new boyfriend threatened to kill her and then himself, it really feels like I should
@@Sueki_says the person on a video about men generalizing the gays into a man hating agenda.... XD moral of the story? Keep your brothers and sisters and themsters etc responsible for their actions and give people individual credence.
@@KyosumariIt was probably asked as a joke let's be honest. If a man says they hate women for whatever reason they're labelled an incel. If women do it they're told well done which just pushes more men into that cycle. Making broad generalisations just makes things worse.
@@Sueki_it too many not to generalize. Century after century, generations after generations, year after year, day after day, come with this bs and get real. Stop with that dried up ass comment and be real for once in your life
I'm leaving a straight marriage and so many of the times I complained about things that made my life misserable other married women would say that men are just like that.
Women love to complain - that's what you do. And seeing as lesbians have the highest divorce and DA rates then I'm not sure why you think the women aren't to blame.
True, my brother (who pretends to be a girl online) says that he met so many horrible men (who thinks his underage and try to gr00m him) compare to when he be himself and talks to women (they all love him since they think his nice). He complains about how it's ALWAYS like that and how it's only rarely did he meet genuine "nice guy" being a women.
@@adrenalineactivate Right. So he baits creepy older men and then complains about them? You and your brother clearly have mental issues and you should stop projecting them onto all men.
@@adrenalineactivateits probably because the internet and the deeper you go into it is hub for weirdo’s and most men don’t approach women anymore. the ones that do are the weirdos more so if the individual is young.
As a bicurious person, me too! Been in relationships with 4 men in my life and I've decided I'm done. I've been single and celibate for 3 years and life is soooooo much better!
As a bi woman with a significant preference toward women, I think i’d be more willing to engage with men non-platonically if they weren’t socialized into being assholes. I love masculinity, I love many men, I want them (as a whole) to be better and happier. My problem is just with Men™ :(
@@ChristinaMoralesMindfuqedyeah, the ones that are annoying are the ones that think they can “change you” or “turn you straight.” Other than that though, most guys are chill!
the most annoying thing about interacting w men as a lesbian is expressing that u r looking for friendship only and then having a male friend trying to flirt and ignoring that u already told them about ur sexuality
@@BlackSheepNaraI’m sorry, but how are you gonna correct someone if you didn’t spell it right, I necessarily don’t agree with this person but a person would be smart enough to at least fix their spelling mistakes before hitting send
@@ssbashalot7324they literally said they don't care about men, that's not misandry 😭 stop leaving edgy comments and being an idiot, or at least direct your vitriol toward *actual* misandrists
@@ssbashalot7324I mean buddy I have seen you under like 5 comment threads already being super defensive and basically saying “nuh uh!” And I’ve only just pressed on this video. Just keep scrolling big man, don’t watch videos that make you feel like you have to defend yourself especially in a video where women are saying that they don’t actually hate all men.
i’m sapphic, idk if i’m into men or not but i’m certainly into women and nonbinary folk, and not all men are bad. however, there are times where bad attributes are socially lumped together with masculinity and it can lead to people making the “all men are bad” argument, the same way some attributes are socially tied with femininity and lead to “all women backstab each other”. there are certain traits that are unfairly associated with a certain gender, which also happens with sexuality and race as well, and lead to dangerous generalizations that don’t just affect the group that’s being badly portrayed but also the one that’s doing the generalization since it tends to limit their world view and their ability to socialize with others. the idea that all men are “straightforward and sex crazed” leads to the idea that, unless they prove you otherwise, you should be careful around them - which is extremely wrong and a legitimately miserable way to live. unfortunately, as long as stereotypes about gender, sexuality, race, nationality, ethnicity, etc exist we will never truly escape the “[x group] is bad” or “i hate [x group] because they belong to [x group]”
As a lesbian I don’t hate men but I don’t connect with or feel as safe around men, especially straight cis men. There’s probably lots of factors in that for me like my experiences growing up but because of it I have few male friends. I’m mostly only friends with guys who are queer or who are genuinely good healthy people. I’m just disinterested in most men or weary unless they’re an exception. I’m more femme presenting so I get hit on quite a bit and usually it’s the oblivious and slightly creepy guys with less boundaries that do that (so that doesn’t help). Additionally, I’ve had quite a few male friends who I connected with and enjoyed being around and then they’ve gone and said something like “if only you weren’t a lesbian.” Which isn’t the worst thing ever and they’ve never tried anything but it’s still inappropriate to say to a friend even as a joke. And maybe it’s being a lesbian but being objectified in the slightest by men gives me the ick (much like straight men might feel if gay men objectified them). So I don’t hate all men but I am more cautious around men and I don’t enjoy being close to most men.
The thing is men are prone to be attracted to women. The problem: some of them lack self control or don’t think before they speak. You are going to have men come up to you and that’s natural, but you can still set boundaries. Straight dude here and one of my best friends is lesbian and me and her are like SpongeBob and Sandy😅. I respect her boundaries the same way she respects me.
@@User_U571 I’m not speaking for the original commenter, but in my personal experience, I’ve had much more enjoyable conversations and interactions with trans men than with cishet men. Of course, it’s also due to trans men being queer which, as a lesbian, makes them feel a bit more safer, but I just have more varying experiences with cishet men compared to trans men who I find to be consistently enjoyable to be around so far. Obviously, being cis or straight isn’t an ick, but with a trans man, there’s kind of this relatability that’s already there. It’s a bit hard to explain lol
because people live in the internet more than real life now, including me, i used to be like that. Our world view is skewed by what we see not what we experienced.
@@abbthedreamer8378Basically, we all need to take our own avatar the last air bender style journey of the world. Meet more people, learn from each other and expand our comfort zones.
I don’t hate all men, I hate inconsiderate and incapable people. So many men in previous generations were raised to depend on women for all domestic chores, that we’ve been stuck with this stereotype. Thankfully, this is now being fixed and younger generations of men can do their own laundry and dishes without having to be given a list of big boy chores. And on the flip side, women are capable of singular tasks like changing a tire or installing a window unit. Being capable is an adult trait, having experience in life, etc. If you aren’t capable of completely providing for yourself however you need, you are not an adult I don’t care what age or gender you are. There are plenty of 30-40 year old children
the misogyny is showing for these upset men. if you believe all women exist as vessels for male fulfillment, seeing women who are disinterested in doing that is threatening
I really wish that people would stop accusing straight women of hating men!!!!! Darn, just because a woman complains about a man's behavior, that does not mean that she hates men!! Many straight women are exhausted from men's behaviors.
Right And same about men- but it does seem that men don't read the room as well. Though when they do announce the issue in a well-meaning manner we need to stop assuming the worst and have some "benefit of the doubt" xD
Stop alienating people based off gender/sexual preference/religion and base it off personality. I promise your life and relationships will be much more fulfilled
True true but can you go tell that to homophobes and transphobes as well? I would love to get along with them but they keep telling me and my friends to kill ourselves based on our genders/sexual preferences
Lesbian here and former man hater. As I've gotten a bit older and have matured a lot and see people for who they are and have come to understand men so much better than I ever have, and have unbrainwashed myself from how society views men, especially through the lens of feminism, I absolutely adore men and I have so much respect for them. They are severely undervalued in our society and yet they take what we throw at them. There are so many good men in the world. This idea that men have it all is so far off the truth. I used to think that as well. Men are suffering more than you realize. Men and women need each other in this world. There is a innate biological and spiritual need for the masculine like there is the feminine. It's taken years to come to this understanding and acceptance of men and to unlearn all the stuff society fed me about men and just my own filter from what I perceived with my experiences and observations, which was warped from society. Now I actually understand them more than I ever have. I love them and I appreciate them. They are valuable and I hope the blinders come down and people begin to recognize that. I hope we can begin to bridge the divide between the sexes.
@@karen.johana they are, they have benefits but they are being used like tools just like women are being used as dolls. It's just that they are respectable tools compared to lust dolls. Though being a tool is still being used and emotionall abandoned if not soon-to-be physically.
Feminism is about making a better world for all not just for women. Patriarchy hurts all of us. To connect hating men with feminism is quiet a stretch.
The reason that lesbians are chill w/ dudes is because y’all don’t have to deal with us like that, plus we have a lot in common. The reason that straight girls don’t like us IS BE CAUSE THEY HAVE REASONS.
I mean....straight women hate straight men and straight men hate straight women. Both are kinda true. Idk why. These two groups are supposed to be each other's rock, no? Be there for each other, thrive in family and love and all that. And still I see them being hateful towards each other the most. Why is that? 😢
More like men became the rock and women could be carried by it throughout history. There are fundamental differences between them which will make them not unite.
Since it seems like the majority are born to love the other gender, and we've been raised generally to just only date the opposite gender and we don't really understand what they're like.. usually the relationships will be complicated due to both having stuff not shared with the other, and of course there's biology.
@@themidwestemoit's not a choice to be into a gender, i mean its possible either of the above are in the queer community but it's not like you just go "ok no i dont like these people that I'm attracted to, I'll change my orientation and just date guys/gals from now on instead"
I think that being a woman in a relationship with a man often comes with hardships and women are allowed to complain about said hardships that they did not deserve
@@shrisiva4016 I’ll give you an example, my parents, got married and everything was fine. And then, my dad didn’t pick up any of the slack when the kids were born because he subconsciously believed it to be the woman’s job to do all the work. Is my mother not allowed to be frustrated by this?
My point is, that, I’ve been in relationships with both. And yes I’ve had bad relationships with women because anyone can be a bad partner. We don’t control who we fall in love with, and we often believe in the people we love to be the best they can be, and sometimes there’s angles to our intersecting identities that complicate things. And it’s fine to observe those things and vent about them. I don’t think “just choose better” is a realistic comment, at all.
I got traumatised by men a lot so it took me a long time to be comfortable with men and not generalised men again. I am so glad that I have a male best friend who is so understanding. I don't hate men but I hate men who does horrible things
@@user-dj9id2ij8i that would sound about right I was told by my dad that men will just...not be insecure. Though clearly some will be. Which leads to some issues if you don't know how to be humble as a man. If you can't lower yourself, but think your all that and a bag of chip- you are bound to hurt people.
Most of my friends are men so i definitely dont hate them. I just get nervous when a man flirts with me or asks me out and I say im a lesbian, because they do not often take that as a legitimate reason for me to "reject" them. This is why straight single women will say they have a boyfriend when turning someone down because the men respect another invisible man than they do the woman that's actually in front of them.
Yeah- I think (both gender) that there is something wrong if you can't accept rejection. Like if "I see you as a brother/sister" is more painful then "I just don't like you/know you" because it means you have no chance, You are concerning. Male or female I never knew how quickly that ruins relationships.
That is such a good point why do so many men see a reasonable criticism about men and decide they DESPERATELY NEED reassurance that I don’t hate them and I’m not talking about them and what I’m saying doesn’t apply to them. I meet SOOOOO many men who say things that make me feel they hate me as a woman and you don’t see me demanding they take it back because it hurt my feelings lmao if anything I just want a REASON over an opinion why men hate us. I see all sorts of reasonings: -emotional/dramatic -we don’t like it when men hit us -women aren’t strong But these at the end of the day tend to be very opinion based I just want actual logic atleast behind these opinions they throw at us
I personally do but that’s just cuz I can’t stop hearing genuine horror stories from the women that date them. Like damn maybe if y’all weren’t so deadbeat I’d like y’all more
Well, im surprised they didn't get to this conclusion. But the conclusion I got to from watching this is that man would like to hear from a group of women (lesbians) that not all women hate them. But I haven't heard about this experience/ perspective that we think lesbians hate us
Of course this doesn't apply to all men but alot of the men that I have met always want some kind of validation from me once they find out I'm a lesbian e.g "do find me attractive" "what about me" "if you would date a man would you date me". I personally think it comes that idea that women are "supposed" to like men and that female attraction is always in relation to man. If you like women, it's not cause you women, it's cuz you hate men
@@NotD-kp3by To be fair, straight women also do this with gay men. And turning straight people gay is a whole thing in the LGBT community. For everyone, being the exception to another person's rule is a fantasy that persists regardless of gender or orientation.
@@NotD-kp3by To be fair, strate wmen also do this with gary men. And turning strate people gary is a whole thing in the BLT community. For everyone, being the exception to another person's rule is a fantasy that persists regardless of gander or orientation. Sorry for spelling certain things wrong. U-toob will automatically dell-yeet this continent if I don't.
Well that's the hell game we're all playing right now. "Good man", "true feminist", all that crap. A contest for who's most inclusive and woke about issues. Just be kind, fair and respectful regardless of gender and sexual orientation.
agree that some men are looking to have women (straight or lesbian!) validate their existence and make them feel better about something. imo this is a result of living in a society that teaches men are for violence and action and women are for love, tenderness, and fulfillment. lesbians are less likely to fall into this dynamic and provide that reassurance, since they've often done the work of examining gender roles and discarding the parts that don't work for them.
I have met quite a few lesbians with a distaste for men... Ive also met quite a few lesbians who would literally kill a woman for hurting a man even slightly. I think it depends on *how* they discovered it. Lesbians who knew their like whole life in my experience have been far more secure in their relationships. Lesbians who've had a journey and only recently came out often tend to over perform and make a lot of "ugh, men stinky gross why would anyone like them?" Comments and "jokes." Doubly so if they're MTF trans.
you must not see (or choose to ignore) what the straight women are posting on the internet if you think the problem is lesbians not having to put up with toxic masculine nonsense. she was saying lesbians don't have to date men, so don't deal with toxic male behaviors. not that they ignore the existence of men. she said "i'm cool with my homeboys"
@@demoncorejunior since when does saying “hey you’re speaking about men in a pretty demeaning way” at all mean “straight women have never done that”? And if what they were saying was “lesbians don’t have to date men so don’t have to deal with male relationships” then why wasn’t that what was said. Why did she say “deal with”. Think about things you’ve say you “deal with”. Think if the context and way those things are being effected to and seriously consider how someone may take offense to you saying you “don’t have to deal with them” I’m not even really asking you to change your mind on this but seriously ask yourself if you’d be upset if someone said they “don’t have to deal with you” what that would imply about how they see you
I am a man but I can see her point, since we are not like all rainbows and shits and especially the incels who grew up as momma boys who are most of our group, seeing my sisters and my gf worry everyday about getting AS just makes me sad I am not going to keep quiet about mfs that harrasess other people
Flashing back to Willow and Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it's not about the hating of men, it's more about the girl on girl action. Then again, some men do conflate lack of attraction with hate, so....
Is it so bad to hate men though? I do, but on a collective scale, simply because I have eyes and ears and witness what they do on a domestic and global scale lol, but on an individual scale I do like them and find them lovely, I like the Smosh guys and two out of my three best friends are male, for instance. They would rather get bothered that a woman doesn’t like them then actually do better as an individual or curb bad behavior from their fellow men…
i don't hate men, i hate the western toxic masculine ideal. if you strongly identify with that lifestyle, i don't care if you're mad that i don't like it. be better and people won't say they dislike you. (notice the good people who identify as men aren't pressed when people bring up common bad behaviors committed by men in general)
I don’t hate men but I do hate what our misogynistic society does to our men. Even the most feminist man will have internalized misogyny, even the most feminist person honestly. That’s just what is ingrained in us and it’s sad.
@@demoncorejunior yep. That’s my bigger issue. I hate what toxic masculinity does to people, especially men. Things would be so much better if people were just allowed to be themselves without the stress of impressing everyone.
As a bi woman (genderfluid but afab) I definitely don’t hate men, I’m just wary of ones I don’t know, and often have eye roll moments when one of my guy friends is being stupid, or a male content creator I like says something negative about women 🙄 Or when guys just don’t *get it* about why women don’t owe them anything and want to be left alone a lot of the time, or at least treated with more respect than what is often given. The men who get it, and there are many, I love so so much and appreciate a LOT. I think anyone who genuinely *hates* men is either just an asshole, or has had reaaaaally bad experiences and just want to avoid them.😔 Men are amazing, and it’s a shame when some men do horrific shit that continues to make all men look evil, and it’s a shame when women beat men down. True feminism is bringing women up to be on the same level as men. Treating both as equals, not dragging one or the other down. ❤🥺
As an ace, I get it both ways. I'm romantically inclined towards both, though slim, but not as a means of wanting to sleep with anyone. Some people are just odd that way and want to make mountains out of mole hills.
I love being a man who gets everything he ever wanted. It's so great living life on a pedestal with the world feeding my ego and boosting my confidence to an unhealthy degree. The only thing that could dethrone my delusional grasp on reality, truly, is a lesbian woman's distaste for me. I need love from all of my subordinates... 😢
As a gay man Im happy that I dont have to deal with any women in that way. Power and respect, and a load of sympathy too, to all you straight men who have no choice.
Ngl, as a straight dude, I feel like lesbians end up being homies that I end up treating like my other male friends. I mean, me and a lot of my friends don’t wanna hook up with each other so why would lesbians be any different?
ive always felt like straight men hate women because of all the classic marriage jokes, but i fairness... straight women being married to a specific chunk of men are also justified in not really caring for em
Holy shit ur voice is so soothing. Perfect way to deliver potentially unpopular takes. Love your takes though. And you're so right about how many 'straight' people' just haven't discovered their identities yet. It's why so many people came out during covid.
They just say cause lesbians have less to lose by calling toxic men out, and they're toxic men, so they dismiss it as an indiscriminate, unfounded hatred of all men, rather than valid criticism.
*if they respect your sexuality* esp as a stud, guys dont usually objectify you like a resource to be acquired, consumed, and discarded. She was 200% when she said, "We're cool bc we don't gotta mess w them 'like that'".
"I wish all women died miserably. It was a joke. Why aren't you laughing?" Usually these "jokes" come with no context to make them funny, and more often than not - with context that makes them sound like a statement.
Hating an entire gender is weird. Just because you have bad experiences does not mean you should hate men. I've known quite a few toxic and shitty women in my life, but I don't hate women
You also have to look at it from a straight woman's point of you. If your preferred gender behaved has childishly as a lot of straight men do, you wouldn't like them either
@@mar35962that is not an excuse to treat half the population like monsters, you should be decent to everyone unless they gave you a reason not to. Men are people theres no excuse to not treat them as such. You can complain about the horrible things men do without disrespecting half the population
@@sky_6341 thats not an excuse thats facts first off. Cant even leave our daughyers with tha average because hes so full of lust and 2. Disagreeing with you is not disrespectful she can say what shes wants if she disagrees
I did some work for some older gay guys a few years ago, and i got some to old gay lore. Apparently, the older generation gays and lesbians did get along since (according to them, mind you) the lesbian were all man haters. They did say this doesn't apply to the younger generations of lesbians though.
it’s only “all men” when it’s something positive done by a man .. men “not all men” to avoid acknowledging a man doing the most heinous crime (usually to a woman) but the second a man achieves something or does something good it’s “all men” and is usually followed by how men r just better than women at stuff or some shit.. make it make sense
