This is so real - it happened with every relationship I had until I said “I’m not living with someone ever again.” I saw him a few times a week and almost always went home to sleep in my own bed and it was my favorite relationship. Lasted three years and no bed death - my other three relationships had bed death within a year. I was smothering it! Smothering the flame!
A lot of times there is a co-dependent aspect at work, almost like people are addicted to each other and can't function independently but at the same time it feels suffocating.