Let’s Talk About ADHD and Trauma 

In the book you made it clear how valuable your mother was. Trauma does not cause ADHD, but everything stacks, and ADHD can make us particularly vulnerable. We miss you, Jessica - but we are so happy you are taking her example and embracing how important a mother's attention is.

In addition to this, I'd also argue that ADHD (and neurodivergence more broadly) is usually a *source* of trauma. We are often told from a young age that the way we naturally function in the world is inherently wrong. This results in a deep distrust of oneself, masking, etc.

I am the process of healing from childhood trauma, so this came at the right time.

I literally remember zoning out and forgetting everything to escape the misery I lived in as a child. Now I can't get out of it.

I'm sure it took a lot of courage to post this. One of the things I've always respected about you is your ability and willingness to use your own struggles to light a path for the rest of us. One thing I've learned over the years is that it's never "just". It's a cocktail that manifests differently for each of us, although there are common themes that can help us connect. ADHD, anxiety, trauma, depression, grief - Ron Weasley might well say "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode." To which I'd respond, "And your point is?" Because the acting out we do is very much like an explosion.

Yes, please more on this topic. My spikes in symptoms seem to correlate to spikes in trauma in my life. Late ADHD diagnosis makes it hard to see the difference sometimes.

what's lovely about youtube and people like jessica is only a few years ago, people would NEVER get to see a resonating conversation like that and know it wasnt just them. kudos.

Childhood abuse survivor here, was told that my behavior caused my dad's alcoholism

Trauma can be very difficult but especially with ADHD added onto that, since we process those emotions a lot differently :(

Jessica McCabe, I wish more people in this world were like you. You're a camp fire on a winter night, a waterfall on a hot day, the soft rain in the springtime. You inspire me every day to be what my fantastic 10 year old son needs me to be. Thank you for giving me the shield weapons to fight for him, but also to teach him how to fight as well.

Made me cry my heart out watching this. My parents challenge me to go back to therapy a lot because of my PTSD and ADHD and depression, but I can't get myself to go and do it and idk if that's ADHD or PTSD or something else but it's made this never ending cycle. Thank you so much Jessica for all you do and how much you've helped me and I'm sure so many others.

I think having ADHD is a trauma itself, in this world as a neurodivergent :(

Let's talk about this terrible combination.

Sorry for you loss hunny. I know that she’s right next to you even though you can’t see her.

The breathtaking, nervous laugh inducing moment I just had when Jessica was saying that her therapist told her that she is reliving her trauma through her relationships has me in a state of I don't know what. Like, now I know why my situation has gone on for so long. 🙍🏾

This is such an important topic - I always feel like my childhood wasn't bad "enough" to have trauma but I think not being diagnosed until 23 and feeling the constant dismissal of how I was as a child and feeling like I was always feeling has been encoded as trauma.

I'm a 23 year old that recently got diagnosed 6 months ago and I started going to counseling and one of the things she asked me was "Why didn't you get evaluated or diagnosed sooner?" And after thinking about it for several days I finally started to piece everything together and realized that my dad had an affair when I was around 3-4 years old and started a family with another woman. I'd often witness him beating my mother and he'd hit me as well whenever I'd get distracted or wasn't doing well in school which made everything so much worse. There were fun and good times, but also bad as well and I'm just glad to finally have answers as to why I couldn't learn or behave like the other kids.

I am just now starting this Journey. I was diagnosed two years ago with ADHD-C and just recently started therapy back up, with the idea of focusing on my past traumas. My therapist brought up this idea that some of our Trauma can cause our ADHD to be worse than what it actually is before the Trauma. I'm looking forward to seeing what unfolds over the next few therapy sessions.

I'm a firm believer that the trauma and abuse from my previous relationship, damaged my brain so much that now I'm reliant on medication to manage my ADHD. Thankfully, therapy and CBT have helped tremendously. Your channel is a blessing.

I would listen to a whole several hour long conversation/interview like this. This was meaningful to hear

I was diagnosed with PTSD first, and I would say its 100% certain that I have PTSD due to combat and wartime atrocities, but getting my ADHD diagnosis was a nightmare because of it. I had what are definitely PTSD symptoms, symptoms that could be from either, and then some other "unexplained" symptoms (undiagnosed ADHD or AuDHD). They gave me tons of different drugs that didn't seem to do anything for me. I got trauma focused treatment, and that helped to a degree with reducing some PTSD symptoms, complex grief, and survivor's guilt, but I had these other symptoms that I now know were undiagnosed ADHD (or other neurodivergence). I had to go around the VA to get evaluated on my own dime and came up obviously ADHD-I according to the assessor. I'm still in the process of working out whether I'm AuDHD and PTSD or just ADHD-I and PTSD. Another complicating factor is that the doctors I have that are competent in PTSD don't seem to know anything about neurodivergence, and the doctors I have that are competent in neurodivergence are very up front that they don't know much about PTSD. The executive functioning impact of getting PTSD on top of whatever neurodivergence I have is pretty crippling. I got so much worse after military service, especially meltdowns (and some new kind of meltdown/flashback combo that really sucks), and I seem to have worse executive functioning and sensory issues as I age. I'm doing a bit better now that I'm getting ADHD medication and medication for meltdowns. If I had known I was neurodivergent I would have stayed well away from any profession that could likely result in PTSD. The impact of the combination seems to be devastating and seems to have foreclosed on my future and wrecked my health. I wound up completely disabled by my mid-thirties.

I have no words, but wanted to just say that I'm so thankful for you and sorry you went through that! He was right about your vulnerability! I think you heal a lot of people when you allow yourself to feel what they can't. You are doing so much good in this world

I’ve been waiting 17 months for trauma therapy in the UK with my current service, and 5 failed years of other services that didn’t even recognise my AdHd or ASC. In crisis recently I called the Samaritans, (suicide intervention) after a few texts they said we needed to “take a break and evaluate”, and they never came back to me. There’s NO support here.

Is there a longer version of this discussion? I loved how insightful this was and I would love to learn more.

It actually makes a lot of sense. ADHD and autism symptoms include heightened sensory sensitivity and sensitivity in general, so being sensitive to trauma seems to make complete logical sense.

I never had the anxiety, I've al ways had the depression. I've had similar trauma as well. Impulses are not fun. I'm not even sure what to type but thank you for your videos I guess I'm glad to know I'm not alone

This is good. I am feeling a lot of anger towards certain people and "coaches" that say ADHD is caused by trauma. And nothing else. And you have these people just convincing patients that they can "cure" ADHD by "curing" their trauma

Unpopular opinion, but I 100% believe my ADHD is a manifestation or side effect of childhood attachment trauma and child abuse. When my trauma symptoms came out at age 40 and 47, the main thing that happened was I suddenly had a million thoughts in my head at once, and executive dysfunction, and task initiation problems -- so my ADHD is one of the main symptoms of my trauma.

I don’t believe I have ADHD. I have many of the symptoms but I put them down to complex trauma. I follow your channel because your tips help with the symptoms regardless ❤

Your mom is a gift and she taught you so many great lessons, your dad needed help and he unfortunately was not able to receive it. Your life is a beautiful one and you do not need to relive this trauma. You are a survivor sister and you will move on from this and help many more.

Was going to write something way to long and way to personal... But I can relate to that dealing with several of these things can make figuring out what is going on way harder. I wish you kindness and healing.

I actually went to see Dr. LaCount as he was in close proximity a few years ago, he redirected me to a trauma therapist who has changed my life! Thank you!!

For me it was the divorce of my parents and my father leaving from one day to the other. At a crucial step in my development at 6-7 years old. I couldn't cope with my emotions, got meltdowns at kindergarden and my mum couldn't and wouldn't deal with my emotions of grief and anger.

Seeing you sad, I cry with you. You are a fabulous person.

Life is always beset with traumas. But being born with differences impacts how we experience and express it. Much love. ❤

after a year of therapy I know for sure that I do not have adhd but OCD and PTSD. hopefully, I recovered from some symptoms but still struggling.

Seconding how valuable and admirable your vulnerability and authenticity are.

Thank you so much for making this! This is constantly my battle - my team thinks my adhd is actually PTSD. I have gotten conflicting diagnoses since childhood. I also can very much relate to being treated like a bad daughter to a very sick mother and emotionally closed-off father. I've gone through so much work and abusive relationships and I'm still unclear as to what my actual diagnosis is. I appreciate you and your channel more than you know ❤

In a weird way, i have felt like my adhd made me better able to deal with my trauma once it was identified. Since i have to purposefully and deliberately shift my focus to important tasks, i feel like its easier to let go of things i can't change. And understanding my own reality vs perception has made me more empathetic to other people because i know that what i see and experience is not what they feel and experience for any given situation.

Jessica, that was honest, raw and vulnerable. Best wishes from Australia 🇦🇺

im in highschool and sometimes i feel really anxious if ill be able to finish highschool. like some days i have really good brain days but then i have a bad brain day and fall into the burnout trap and start failing my classes. there are some subjects that are really difficult because its mostly verbal instructions or theres too many exams. i often leave out studying for an exam last minute because im just too overwhelmed by the material😭😭

I realize this is from an earlier segment, but I wish I could reach through the Internet and give you a hug. I understand this better than I wish I did. I lost my mom when I was a few years younger than you were when your mom was in her accident, and my father crawled in a bottle. Just try to remember how much of a beneficial impact you have on your community, and the world at large. I think you have done your mom proud.

I'm going through these same things in therapy right now. It's a huge load to deal with. Thanks for understanding this and shedding light on it. Using relationships to relive your trauma is something I've done before. Now I know that's a thing. I'll be more mindful of that now. Thanks again Jessica!

Thank you for sharing. This hits home

Thanks for taking the time to discuss and untangle this!

I'm currently exploring how much of my angry outbursts is connected to Trauma. I'm not sure if it is Trauma, but because of my undiagnosed ADHD (despite two Tests!) my Dad got frustrated with me a lot, especially when I was a teenager and young adult. In my head I often hear him say: "Will you finally take responsibility for yourself, your education, etc", like he frequently shouted at me during that time. I started to feel insecure about my Dads love towards me. In my head I always knew he does love me, but my feelings began to suggest otherwise. And I think part of that insecurity stayed with me to this day when I'm 33 years old. Now I experience these doubts differently than before. My dad is so proud of me, and when he says it, compliments me or anything similar, I hear that little voice in the back of my head that says: "Do you think he really means it? Does he mean what he's saying?" I think a lot of my emotional outbursts and frustrations are connected to this issue. What do you think?

Opposite for me. Extensive lifelong trauma treatments and therapies, only to have to self advocate that I probably have Autism or ADHD (which itself probably caused most of the trauma). Don’t let them gaslight you, don’t let statistics and culture sway you. If you think you’ve processed and healed your trauma, but still are distressed and disabled, advocate hard for it being an additional thing on top of trauma. “It will always look like unresolved trauma from third person if there are still unmanageable symptoms.”

Jessica, thank you for your willingness to be real about your life. Your honesty makes it OK for us to be real, be struggling, be human and be hurt. I am so grateful for your channel; the education you provide for me makes me a better teacher, a better mother, and a better partner. You make such a difference in my life and in my family. ❤

Hugs Jessica. I sought and got my diagnosis after trauma too. You are a good person. A good daughter ❤

You've helped me so much... Hope you can find healing big sister 🫂♥️

I think it’s great that you are openly discussing this topic. I am so sorry about your mom. Sadly, my relationship with my mother is strained. She suffered a Brian aneurysm when I was around 14. She hasn’t been the same ever since. But throughout my childhood, while most of it was good, there was toxicity. I didn’t realize any of that until I got older. I wasn’t diagnosed until 34. I just turned 35 in April. But I am realizing that a lot of my past issues in life and even with my mom, were tied to ADHD and also trauma. I am trying to mend things with my mom, piece by piece…baby steps. It certainly isn’t easy but I’m trying. Thank you so for this video and your channel.

My kiddo and I (both ADHDers) were literally talking about this very thing this morning. We've bought and read your book and we're sooooo grateful for your insights. Thank you. 🙂

Love this and thanks Jessica for generously sharing your experience

Huh. I now have to wonder if this is why when my family collectively went through a very traumatic event (which was arguably the worst for my mom) that I'm the only one who ended up with severe PTSD. ADHD runs in our family, but I'm definitely the one who struggles the most with emotional regulation.

Next can you do adhd and anxiety? I have both (and autism too) and I wonder how they connect!

The trauma of being undiagnosed creates its own trauma. I also come from a family who doesn't "support or believes" my diagnosis. Big hugs. That was a big share. ❤

My struggle is that I have CPTSD (complex posttraumatic stress disorder). It was ongoing trauma. Combined with occurring during core developmental years, I don't have a "before the trauma" like PTSD from acute traumatic events. It's so, so difficult. I've had a hypomanic episode; I've been depressed; I have a history of self-harm; I've been on medications for depression/bipolar; my entire teenage and adult years have been plagued by emotional dysregulation and executive dysfunction. I'll try and set aside time to watch the whole video, but having childhood trauma or ACES (adverse childhood experiences) makes life... Just so much harder. It's not different. It's harder because I'm missing developmental milestones and social knowledge that my untraumatized peers have.

Whew, this dropped on the day my ADHD therapist signed me up for somatic trauma treatment... I'll definitely give it a listen ❤

Thank you 💙

One of the things I learned about my adhd and trauma, that I was told my therapist also experienced, is what I call pretzel legs. When I sit down for a period of time I sometimes find my legs not crossed, but twisted like im twisting my fingers for good luck. It took me a bit to realize that was because of so much 'why are you anxious?' 'why are you bouncing your legs?' 'stop moving!' growing up... It wasn't undiagnosed ADHD (to me at the time it would have appeared that), but I had a young diagnosis and prescription (was told in my 20s by my father that happened when I was real young like 5 or something) hidden from me for my formative years, so everything was always my fault. Thanks for your vulnerability, I'm not trying to like take the spotlight or anything, I just wanted to share a bit of my minor trauma and ADHD experience

Thank you for sharing, Jessica. ❤

Im really sorry about your mother. i got paralyzed 13 years ago but adhd is affecting me more than that. You tought me more than my doctors ever did. i can watch your videos without losing focus(i cant even finish a sentence sometimes). This channel makes me feel better about myself cuz i m already dealing bunch of Traumas like everyone else but you help me on this one. i feel like im not alone. When i watch your videos i go yes i have that thing too, this one is me etc. i cry while watching some videos cuz you show me things that i didnt even know was there. I hope you get better.

Having ADHD, and for the first time going through therapy and really diving into my PTSD I developed from being Bullied, Healing from Codependency, and learning how to love myself has been one of the hardest challenges of my life. Thank you Jessica. You are more of an inspiration than you realize. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your stories, as well as tips and help.

Ty Ty Ty. Your openness and courage has aided me in seeking help for myself. I’m dealing with “compounded” issues as well. Been going for 2 yrs since Covid. I can already see it helping my family and it has been so worth the investment.

Putting your book on yet another list, again. Beautifully discussed. Perfect outro music. Thanks Jessica and Patrick. ♥

Wow Jessica. Your family had a lot to deal with there. I am so glad that you can see your father with such compassion. You have great maturity and strength of character.

❤ Thank you for sharing. This encourages me that I’m not alone. Thank you for your honesty and bravery x

I second what Dr. LaCount said, Jessica. Your vulnerability is life-giving. And Dr. LaCount, you’re awesome too!

Person w adhd and ptsd here , and this is so powerful❤ thank you for sharing ❤

I'd love more like this! You could give me an hour of this and I would watch it

thank you for this

I found this Channel recently while grappling with my ADHD, I bought the How to ADHD book, and the audio book, I have read it every day so far.

Im a therapist and someone who has CPTSD and ADHD. They both show up so similarly and honestly it’s hard to tell which is which when you’re trauma began as a child. I appreciate this video! Thank you!

Just learning over the past week that I do have trauma and trauma reactions. Good timing, thank you 😊

Hey , 3 months diagnosed adhd and autism and it has been easier to understand thanks to your wonderful words Thank you and keep being you 🦆❤️

Hi Jess! Its so interesting that you you are covering this topic and im so glad that you are. Ive only recently come across your channel as of a couple months ago. Interestingly trauma and healing has led me to your channel in the first place. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child (like many others im sure, i was given meds and told id be different from others and thats about the extent of an explanation i received) Ive been in therapy for a while now talk, EMDR, CBT, etc. but i wasnt quite getting the answers i needed as to WHY i am different and WHAT makes me different. The topic of rejection sensitive dysphoria was one of the first videos i discovered and that summarized a majority of my life. Its hard figuring out whether the behavior or pattern(s) are ADHD, anxiety, PTSD, TBI. But what ive found most importantly (and unironically learned a lot from you) is really just manage with routine and self care. Observing but not ruminating on thoughts. Speaking with someone more grounded, and ideally more neutral than i. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey with us. You can know confidently that you have helped at least one person 🙂

May your mum rest in peace. Trauma therapy is great for people who went through trauma, regardless of if the trauma was decades ago or yesterday. I am realizing that some things are connected to the trauma, and some things are because of my neurotype. It’s not always clear cut but some trial and error is good and you run with it. I also read that trauma might not only be because of an event. It can be a prolonged period of not getting what we need (physically or emotionally), even when everyone’s intentions were the best. Breakups, grief or job loss are traumas. They’re not traumas that would be recognized by a psychiatrist but they always play a significant part in someone’s emotional health. P.S. Trauma can worsen ADHD symptoms and if left unaddressed or untreated, the person can develop other disorders like histrionic personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder, and addictions. It can run in the family yes but can crop up when things go unaddressed.

I'm giving you a huge hug right now.

Thank you so much for this, I’m dealing with this right now in therapy as well and feel so overwhelmed. ❤

This is really helpful, would love to hear more.

Thank you Jessica for being so open about this kinda stuff. Helps me know I'm not alone with grief and various other things. I also have ADHD and lost my mother last year in February very suddenly. Slowly I'm just now beginning to open up a bit more about that because of therapy, so yeah. Thank you

I'm currently coping with a family tragedy and I definitely feel like my ADHD is much, much harder to manage right now. Thank you for your vulnerability Jessica

I also am upset over a loss as my Guinea pig died 3 weeks ago at 5 years old which made me go into deep depression and 1 week later my others Guinea pig died at just 1 year old with no warning and my ADHD has just made this process so difficult.

I think I can speak for other people when I say thanks for sharing this it's important to remember we are not alone and your channel has been a massive help to understanding my situation thanks again and stay strong everyone 🙏

Hey Jessica, thanks for showing your vulnerable side! It's very powerful to find out what your personal introjections are and in what way they impair your everyday life. The subconsciousness can be an asshole sometimes! So please, please take good care of you and your loved ones, since we are sometimes not really the best versions of ourselves! 🤗 I strumbled over this topic when I wondered about my excessive procrastination. It can be a trauma response too! There are lots of similarities to ADHD. Sending many hugs and good luck for your therapy and lots of insights and clarity from that 🍀🙏

A strangely similar story to yours. I was diagnosed almost exactly 1 year ago. I understand the feeling of helplessly and overwhelming sense ownership to an event or outcome when it's not. I learned I was masking constantly to keep up the script in the movie I saw life. Definitely wish you the best

Thank you, Jessica, for sharing this! I've learned recently about the definite overlap between the 2. Especially CPTSD, or complex/childhood trauma. I came across Tim Fletcher on RU-vid and his lectures on the subject are profound and life changing. I recommend that everyone check it out!

I remember this original interview with Dr. LaCount and I just wanted to comment that I really appreciated that one! If you get another chance to feature him on your channel, you should! He was well spoken, compassionate, and knowledgeable.

Ive been thinking i have adhd for the past like 2 years but i stil dont actually know, ive done so much research on it out of my own self interest and all the stars have aligned to it being adhd

Thank you for your vulnerability and for calling attention to this conundrum that many of us have. I'm currently questioning myself, "Is this trauma, ADHD, or autism?" I imagine it could be a combination.

Also in trauma therapy, trying to sort this stuff out. My undiagnosed mom was the one who checked out, and I am now looking at relationships through the lens you described. Thanks for this video

I was I the care system during my early childhood until I was adpoted. Bad things happened to me in the care system. I was diagnosed with adhd at 7 4 years after i was adopted. I've never told my family what happend to me in care system...my mind has been blown listening to this. Im 34 now.

@Jessica, sorry to hear that you have gone through a tough time at present. One piece of advice when your emotional and feel the need to weep, never apologise for weeping, which is a release valve. Since birth knowing what it is like to have needed surgery and losing loved ones at an early age. Try to smile and be thankful for the times you've had together. I often tell people I may not be smiling on the outside, that does not mean I am not smiling on the inside.

I don't usually comment, but I cried with the “reenacting your trauma” part, I feel I'm trying to heal from that right now, but It's so hard when you are still trying to help the people that traumatized you.

I'm in trauma therapy now (Brainspotting) for childhood CPTSD and religious trauma. My therapist thinks that healing the trauma wounds will significantly improve my experience with adhd. The intrusive distracting thoughts, and impulses, the hypervigilance and need for approval may ease. Fingers crossed.

I have childhood abuse trauma and ADHD. I got therapy for the abuse and the ADHD was diagnosed while I was in therapy but my therapist, while good with PTSD, really down played the ADHD. To the point that I didn't address it until a decade later after crashing and burning during Covid. And that makes me both angry and sad.

Been following your channel since the beginning, ADHD used to be how I identify myself, and recently I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD and BPD. Diving into the symptoms I began to question if I ever even had adhd... my trauma was ongoing since I was born so I guess I'll never know really, but your channel helps either way

The music at the end it brain-scratching music. I love this! 🤩 With that out of the way: Thank you for this very very vulnerable video about this very crucial topic. Sometimes it is not easy to track what part of struggle something comes from. I'm teasing apart stuff like how my physical pains are part chronic effects left over from years of undiagnosed endometriosis, part sth. seemingly different going on there, too, now that I've have surgery, AND also part ADHD as there's things like - hyperfocusing on physical pain makes it worse, but getting the focus off it is particularly hard as it is a strong impulse! - not paying attention to the body and not having any automated safeguards there (aka brain either attend to hyperfocus-thing OR must-fix-body-position this-hurts and that BREAKS focus!) .... it really leads to a lot of physical "neglect" almost. And also additional injuries (I'm looking at you, corners of furnitures!!!) - conditions and pains getting worse cause I forget meds or take them wrongly or get into "waiting mode" to remember them or just hate taking them as they are a sensory nuisance ... Now throw in further yet-to-be-assested-but-highly-likely-there things like trauma and lack of support (which makes work on trauma impossible, as the most crucial condition is the presence of basic safety!!!) 🥲things are quiiiite a tangled mess! On the bright side: some interventions actually help with a bunch of conditions. 😉

PLEASE more on this topic. It’s so hard to find both. I got an ADHD assessment with a neuropsychologist a few months ago and I left with a C -PTSD diagnosis. But what frustrated me is that they still didn’t address the processing delays that I have and other challenges that I had with needing very explicit, visual instructions, and the only reason I succeeded for as long as I did, was because the younger you are the more support you get, but as you get older, it tapers off and that’s when I really started to notice how badly I was struggling. I am constantly getting written up at work and am so disorganized and have careless mistakes in my work. My therapist still thinks it’s both, but I’m having a really hard time getting a diagnosis because the symptoms overlap so much so I would love to learn more about how to navigate this.

Very interesting, just had this discussion with my therapist.