let's talk about finsta culture 

literally me LOL

How I'm trying to be

i do it 😂 but sometimes i feel like my mutuals think im crazy/unstable 😭

Sure but don’t spam your feed out please

@@mayhem9052 that defeats the purpose

😂😂Some girl did that to me. I was like wtf 🤬 at first.

@@lavonnealexander6936 why would u be mad

Same, for me anyway it’s usually a sign that someone wants to get closer. I’ve made a lot of irl and online friends this way

@@pitbull635 lol 😂 because I didn’t know her and didn’t really like the person.

Samee hahaa

hell yeah lolol

As someone who shares nothing with nobody, I can confirm either extreme is awful. I think the problem is sharing your whole life with strangers. Insta should've stayed between your friends and family

we all lonely

I think y'all are a minority lol. The one's who feel the need to share everything and look for external validation. Believe it or not most ppl are too busy to care about all of this. Considering there are 7 billion ppl on this earth and most aren't even on social media, some because they don't have access to the internet and devices and some because they just couldn't care less.

All humans want to share their thoughts, experiences, and feelings to someone and hear them validated. I think finstas are just the extreme online version.

SAMEEE OMG

Same, I deactivated my account too!

🧡🧡🧡

Same😭

Me too! I deactivated my account, then finally deleted it a few months ago and honestly felt better

Literally it’s sooooo weird. I wish people would stop living fake digital lives..

@@zeeblazer ik

i only share my pinterest feed and my thoughts on there lollll HSVSHHAHAHA

i don’t see how it’s weird

because humans crave real connection duh

think i’m just going to use it for storage space cause i can’t take it anymore😭

But it's not, really. I get your point, but mine is moreso about the algorithm making it so big accounts show up way more than small ones. I had to unfollow a lot of larger, talented creators because I just didn't see my little friends' plants and paintings anymore :/ but I agree and I hope we all start posting whatever we want, I know I have (edit: since I stopped making my feed super curated and aesthetic I have lost likes but I don't mind, that's just the algorithmic god's will)

@@mightymeatymech sounds like it's not a source of anxiety as it was . What does it mean i don't use IG to have an aesthetic feed. I get ig is more visual based platform than say reddit. But is ig based on trends

@@tomiakinwande lmao im actually using Insta as my storage space

Well said!

This is such a good point holy sht. What did you major in?

wait id love to read this

as a shy person who gets overwheled with reaching out to communicate I agree with this 100%, and that is why my private snap is a safehaven for me

@@twoicecreams. me too im hopping in this thread in case they ever come back

When I was in high school this is exactly what I had mine for, i didn't like to feel like an emotional burden to my friends so with a finsta they had to option of engaging with the emotionally dense content or not. It didn't last long, when I graduated I found friends that I felt emotionally safe with which I didn't always get from my high school friends. I think also, some people are raised to repress emotions or not share unpleasant thoughts so doing so with another person directly is more intimidating than doing so through a medium where things don't feel as close like social media.

same

why?

@@user-wp2eo2rv4w I noticed it was better for my mental health :)

Me too!

me too.

If it empowered you, or assisted in a healthy way, then it was a good tool for the time 👍🏼

I have a finsta just like this too

I do this exact same thing on Tumblr lol

@@prantikamallick3512 lol I did that till one time someone found it 🤧

Exactly

@@katelyn4394 exactlyyy, I’m like does anyone really care??

Or honestly just posting in general

Nah frrr I use to post on my finsta 5 times per day and use to vent on there but i don’t even post on my finsta no more cuz nobody needa know every single thought i have and i don’t think they care and idk posting on ig is hella embarrassing now idk

@@katelyn4394 GIRL SAME WHAT HAPPENED LMFAO😭

honestly, that always stopped me from posting too much on social media, I would feel so narcissistic, even if people ask me in real life to share more pictures on social media. But then, ask yourself if you just judge yourself that way or if you would judge other people the same way who would post on social media (either a friend or a stranger)? If you do, you are projecting your own insecurities on others, if you don't, it's probably a good sign that you're too hard on yourself. It took a while, but this line of thinking helped me to post with a kind of sense of freedom

SAME looking back at my old account i get both depressed and embarrassed. It was just full of depressing and embarrassing stuff

this is me except with my private twitter account 😭 think i might delete it soon

I feel the same way... I was also seeking help but mostly attention and it’s bad. A lot of people hate to admit that they have attention seeking behaviors which is why young people oversharing online is so common...

attention seeking is just looking for soothing. don't be too hard on yourself

You’ve cracked the secret right there, with that insight. It’s truly a foundational aspect of leaving subconscious victimhood behind and taking full responsibility for yourself ♥️🌈

Same, it’s like a private tumblr

I have the exact same one and its honestly so freeing, it helps me sort of try process some of the things im going through rn

Interesting, do you not like writing in a journal or in notes in your phone?

@@sensibilities1 - I like both! But my finsta lets me post a picture and my handwriting isn’t the best. It seems more official but not official at the same time

I use this early 2000s site called deadjournal - it’s great and i just love the old internet lol

I deleted both in September and I’m quite happy in that area bc I have realized the negative impact it had on people. I used to be scared of missing out but my life is less stressful when I don’t know what people are doing 24/7

You arent missing out and your real friends will check on you plus keep you updated . I told my friends to randomly send me pictures of important moments which helps a ton!

@@SimplyAliyahNicole that's a great idea!

You guys are so kind and supportive! I agree with your points about not missing out. I think the social media platforms have really engineered FOMO in a way that keeps us addicted to their apps. I

it def gets better! i think you’ll realize soon how much you don’t rly care about other peoples lives and you’ll begin to appreciate yours more :))

Even influencers and celebrities should feel like they can post whatever they like. Because why is there such a separation between celebrities and influencers and then “normal people” bc they just as “normal” as us so their instagram accounts should be just as casual as ours.

@@sashhhaa4874 right! I understand there's things they kind of have to avoid because of sponsorships or whatever, but social media is meant to be fun, everyone is free to do whatever they want

@@sashhhaa4874 it's difficult for influencers to post whatever they want because most times their IG is literally their business and their brand. The kind of sponsorships they get all depends on their image and audience. Not that it's a bad thing they gotta pay the bills somehow

Agreeeed

I feel like the "share absolutely everything" mindset is really damaging. It should be ok for people to have boundaries with what they share on the internet, it comes off like stranger think they are entitled to know every little thing about someone just because they have public content on the internet

Yep, that’s exactly what I did when I went through a horrible breakup my freshman year of college. I’d get so drunk and take photos of myself crying on the side of a road with cryptic captions. Jeez.

this and then no one reaches out to me 💀

ugh I also hate trying to use LinkedIn. it's just so embarrassing for me

same here, but i just gave up and ended up deleting my account and the app. I really cannot recommend this enough (especially if you find yourself stressing over what you post and/or what other people post). I feel so relieved, my mental health seriously improved and while I still love taking pictures when I'm having a good time with friends or I feel good, I just share them with my friends or keep to myself. It has given me so much inner peace, I'd 100% recommend doing it or at least giving it a shot!

I'm trying to find a good balance of authentic and oversharing. I keep in contact with some people through IG, otherwise I don't use it for anything now. sending memes to each other has lost its fun

Its basically competition including Linkedin- its good to show ur skills & how qualified u are …but thats the main point “show off” brag about what job u got, what level u moved up to, what you graduated with, barely no one ever posts their downfalls or how they quit their job or how they got fired ir how they had to drop college on LinkedIn or insta. Social media is toxic in general & it shows how much we as humans are soaked into it. & how validation is toxic as well.

i feel you on this! my relationship with SM is complicated to say the least but I'm eager to turn it to something that feels more complimentary to my life rather than something that shapes/dictates it and my wellbeing - i honestly believe that social media is exactly what the users makes of it and whilst big tech has it's many issues (which arguably makes SM much more pervasive within our day to day lives) , it is also up to us as users to be responsible with our use of SM. [unsolicited advice ahead lol] i'd say take your time with rebuilding your relationship w socials again - recovering from an identity crisis esp during a global pandemic isn't easy and shouldn't be dismissed, take it easy and gradually if your intention is still to keep the social media aspect of your life :) i'm currently also on the same train and i'm trying to reshape the way i think of / use social media by only primarily having the more public facing side of things be work related/less tied to anything personal as it's quite integral to my field of work and having a small private account to keep up with my close friends. best of luck w your journey though! find what works for you in terms of integrating social media into your life even if it's drastically different to how your peers might use it

Yes I was coming to say this! I have friends spread out across a bunch of different states/countries/time zones and it’s a lot of work to keep up with everyone separately. It’s easy to just post updates on my life to all my friends and then when we talk next they’re already caught up on what’s been going on

like in the video, i try to use it to share funny things and not deeply personal stuff. i like having a place to share with my friends (and family for one of them cause it’s just a camera roll dump) funny things that happened, pictures i look cute in, etc so i don’t spam my main. i’m learning to find a healthy balance with instagram and snapchat by not using them a ton. i just try to think before i post, even on private accounts, unlike what i used to do, and ask if i would say something like that to in person or if it’s too personal or just me posting/reacting before thinking. it takes thoughtfulness and balance, which i may never achieve but i’m doing a way better job than i was even a year ago!

i love that some people have been able to delete their social media accounts all together and i don’t know if i’ll ever do that just to stay in touch with certain people so if you can find the balance it’s worth it, but we just naturally go to extremes so it’s hard. as you said, using it in a healthy way :)

I relate so much to this! I love my friends but finstas are always emotional messes 😭

wait same I thought I was being a bad friend😭

I feel you

@@ithil-maril9141 nothing bad about setting boundaries.

You can do that?? 👁👄👁

well said 👏👏

Ranting (because it often feels temporarily cathartic) can sometimes keep you in that negative energy, and rather than processing you are just keeping it going. That neediness can grow out of control, can become addictive.

Biggest regret in my life was getting Instagram at age 8. I’m 16 now and have had my account for half of my life. This video has actually inspired me to delete my account lmao

@@coolcroc Wow, I can’t even imagine! Do what is in your best interest.

That’s the main thing with gen z, we grew up along side the internet

@@mayhem9052 lol that's one of the reasons why so many of us have fucked up mental health. parents, please keep your children off of the internet for a few years, mines for sure didn't 😭

@@chaaaargh I think that’s a little overboard, but I agree that children’s internet activity should be more closely monitored

that's pretty much journaling, isn't it? and that's kinda different from the whole finsta thing imo bc it's not actually for other people's consumption, like posting on finsta is. in my exp, posting my anxieties on (f)insta was always more about making sure ppl could see it instead of me getting it out of me, which is what i journal for (the sense of release/catharsis/"dealing with it")

@@pastdued huh I guess you’re right. I really like that perspective on it!

I feel the same way! I deactivated my Instagram a few months ago and my Twitter a few weeks ago, but the people that influenced me and the person I became was really terrible for my health, it’s like I was lost for 3 years, but now that I’m off it I feel like I’m actually really happy

lmfao girl same 😭

Meeee too

I have a finsta I’m thinking about deactivating it and my personal account and deleting IG all together.

We are the same person lmfao I just did the SAME thing 💀 what’s ur zodiac lmao

@@rileyambrose3444 Aquarius sun Taurus moon 🤡

@karleee being seen is too freaky like LEAVE ME ALONE

lol i feel this. i keep my account for creator purposes but i used to deactivate it all the time like sometimes you wanna stop being SEEN for a min

@@gastllyxo like stop perceiving me 😂

You should. I’m quite similar but in the sense that I just one day abruptly deleted my instagram and then started a fresh account with just close friends and family. 😂😅 Maybe it’s a toxic trait but I act kind of impulsively sometimes

i agree with every point you made :) but also, like amanda said, "finsta" is lowkey a dated term. we call them "spam accounts" again lol. trends always seem to come & go

Aw I’m sorry girl🤕

they could have just muted you

I deleted everything but Snapchat because of how negative it was social media is literally built on outrage that’s what people have to create for clicks you tap into a persons anger and emotions and we’re in quarantine and bored and will do damn near anything to pass the time so what do we do feed into it and consume things or post things like what we often see and it’s just and angry mess that I didn’t want to be part of anymore

that is so mean oh my goodness

that’s fucked up.... if anything she should be happy you care about her so much instead of very little or not at all.

😳 broken. Hope your recovery from that relationship has been full and complete. Nobody deserves that. 💜

glad she's an ex. Good riddance

Be glad a person like her is no longer part of your life. People who are genuinely spiteful usually stay feeling that way for a long time; she has nothing to gain from acting that way. I'm glad you moved past her.

mm good point

Been there!!

just made me realize I haven’t posted on any social media for 5 years now. everyone prolly thinks I’m dead 🤣

💙🙌

Oh yikes. How is that ex friend now?

@@diadiv honestly, no clue. i know she has a very small friend group now, but that’s all. i hope she’s doing better, but i’m not gonna ask

Why is it the best?

@@shalom5978 I do the same, lmao. It’s like having a photoblog sort of thing??? Like ‘a second iCloud’

@@vanessa-iv8qz ohhh

@@shalom5978 so much freedom and means you can still enjoy instagram without all the drama and notifications :D

What’s the point of putting it in your bio if you aren’t going to accept people?

I heard formspring from a youtuber I watched but I never got into it. Also I legitimately thought finsta was like joke that doesn’t really exist. However that changed when this girl got in controversy over her finsta.

lord I forgot formspring existed

Is this where the All American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret music video from

Same! 🥲😂

Lol me. 😂

And black teens

I think she’s shadow banned because every time I search her channel it doesn’t show up. She should have way more subscribers 🤦🏾‍♀️.

@@kilimanjaro5537 i searched her channel name and this video was the first thing that came up???

@@kilimanjaro5537 Yeah it's weird. Her and Kianna Naomi don't show up in search. Could it be an algorithm bias?

@@divinencounters yeah I noticed that Kianna’s doesn’t pop up either. I feel like RU-vid has a biased against black girls(especially depending on the type of content they produce).