LETS TALK ABOUT FRIENDSHIP BREAKUPS | Get Ready With Me! 

"You want to come in my life? The door is open. You want to leave? The door is open. Just one request. Don't stand at the door. You are blocking traffic." This meme says it all. It's how I feel about friends (and family) who reach out then go radio silent after you respond. It makes no sense?? Love me or leave me - just make a decision. It's a mind f--k.

About 6 years ago, I went through my phone and socials and deleted all the people who only contact me when they want something, or never make the effort. Life became a lot simpler and less stressful after doing this

A friend of mine for 5 years…who I hung out with almost every day….we were both in our late 30s. She learnt everything about a business I ran by staying close to me pretending to be my bestie and ONE FINE DAY OUT OF THE BLUE, she decided to open the exact same business in the exact same community and THREW ME UNDER THE BUS literally over night…COPIED EVERY SINGLE THING I did in my business,100% AN IDENTITY THEFT…..and the next day started talking down to me and ACTED like she had done nothing wrong….she actually said to me ‘I haven’t done anything illegal’…..IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL time of my life….5 years later I still haven’t gotten over it…..

Friendships are tough! As a 73 year old, I can tell you this has happened to me so many times. People come into our lives for a reason at various points in our lives.

My work colleagues were my besties and more like family! We went away together and our children grew up playing together and are still close. However I got very ill ended up on feeding tube in and out of hospital surgeries ect and all I can say is that you really find out how true your friendships are when you are no longer in their vision or thoughts 😢 so sad ❤

Friends can break your heart too..

You are definitely not alone, Charlotte. I'm 65 years old, and this has happened to me on three occasions over my lifetime. I, too, was nonplussed at the time, but it was a long time ago now. I have three close friends of many years standing. I have also made genuine friendships since I got my beautiful dog. You are never too old to make a new friend.

When I was 13 years old, a friend broke up in a handwritten letter saying I couldnt contact her ever again. No specific reason. I felt worthless and not good or smart enough. It stuck with me for many years- I just turned 40.

Death scares many people. I was recently diagnosed with advanced cancer and it has been surprising who has come through (like my ex) and who have abandoned my husband and I, some of them his friends for over 30 years. So it can happen to guys as well as us gals. These are the situations where you find out who these people are. I look upon it that over time, people grow in different dirctions, priorities change. It is only under duress that these come to the fore. I am grateful to have found out who my true friends are. Thanks for discussing such a thorny topic!

Thank you SO much for addressing this horrible situation of adult friendship breakdowns. I am now 37, and went through this 3 years ago with two of my long term friends (in a group of 5). All of them were bridesmaids at my wedding, we went on holidays together, some of them i’d been friends with since primary school. I genuinely thought this group of women were my ride or die friends till death! A year or two before the breakdown, one of them started acting really odd towards me. Almost ghosting me. Ignoring me most of the time in the group chat, or when she DID acknowledge me, it was always a dig at me or something derogatory. In those last two years of friendship, there were several things she would say to me that really upset me and I had no idea why. I was so confused why this person I loved was acting so mean towards me. In early 2021, a family member died, a close member, in a horrific way. This friend of mine completely acted like I wasn’t alive. No support, not a kind word, nothing. Another of my friends in the group was acting the same. One day I messaged the group chat to apologise for being so distant after the death, and that I had been struggling a lot. The message was ignored, then a couple of days later, these two friends started up a completely different conversation about something on Netflix. Completely ignoring my heartfelt message before. I was devastated. My heart actually broke. So whilst dealing with grief, i also had to deal with the breakdown of two long term friendships. I fell into a deep depression and ended up on medication. It took a LONG time to feel normal again after that. I am a completely different person now to the one when those friendships ended. And I genuinely feel a lot lighter knowing those negative people aren’t in my life anymore x

Thank you for talking about this! I can definitely relate to this with a group of friends I had a few years ago. The one friend I was closest to suddenly gave me the cold shoulder and then I stopped getting invited to events. It was very obvious and hurtful. She never told me why she didn't want to be friends anymore or give me any feedback about what was bothering her. That's what bothered me the most. I had a lot of the same thoughts and fears "there is something wrong with me" "I am a bad friend". But with more time, I have realized I wouldn't do that to someone else without ever talking them about it and trying to fix things.

In my 53 years I have experienced this several times. I still love them deep down same as you with those friends but I’ve been hurt so now I have really no “close” friends except my sister and my daughters. I have a few who I could probably reach out if I needed to but none that I speak to daily or hang out with anymore. I’m tired of trying to keep friendships going. I take care of me and my family and I’m honestly ok with that now.

This was such a fabulous video. I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear this. I am a neurodivergent 53 year old woman who struggles to form friendships, the friends I have are super close and so important but when the end, which they do, I just don’t understand at all. I always assume I am at fault and an unlovable person. I have reached a point where I have accepted close female friendships are for other women. I know my solitude impacts my husband because he wants there to see me aaa he does. Knowing I am not alone in experiencing and feeling these things has meant so much. Thank you lovely human xx

I started writing this comment by listing my experiences, which made me realize how hurt I still am, especially by the most recent one that happened 6 months ago after 18 years of friendship. I wish those of us all still hurting to heal as quickly as possible and sending my love to you all ❤

I was listening to this on headphones whilst cooking, and could *hear* how painful this was for you to talk about 💜 As soon as you mentioned losing your friend, and your son's friend's brain tumour my head said - there it is. It's a terrible cliche, but for good reason, that death makes people behave in ways seemingly really out of character. A few years ago I experienced 3 bereavements in 3 consecutive years, all really different. When I went back to work after the last one my manager said to be prepared for people disappearing. No way I thought, but sure enough... It's a very strange thing but I've read and heard of it often. People who are highly supportive, emotionally intelligent and so on, just can't handle death, or the possibility of it. And so they do nothing. Not through lack of care but sheer inability. Honestly I wanted to write something about bereavement after my experiences as all the different behaviours, scenarios, reactions were astonishing to me. For anyone struggling with what to do or say during or after a bereavement or awful time, please don't say nothing. Simply saying you are there, offering to go and just sit with a person, talk about the person they lost, take them a home cooked meal, offer to go for a walk. All these things can make a huge difference and make a person feel supported and held. Charlotte I'm so sorry for your experience. I think this was a lovely idea for a 'lets talk' video and I'm sure it's helped and reassured so many of us, lots of love xx

Ghosted seemingly out of the blue. I still struggle with fixating on trying to understand why this happened and blaming myself for it years after the fact. Grieving the loss of something but also knowing that loss was purposeful and with no explanation is doubly hard.

People that come into your life are for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Rarely do people make it to the lifetime. I so appreciate this discussion as I find most people that come into my life just let me down with their behaviors.

Thank you so much for this video. I feel like I just got some much needed advice from a good friend. I’ve been through the same thing a few times, but I had one in particular that devastated me. My first marriage ended and I always make a joking remark that he got custody of my best friend but it honestly crushed me. In reality she and I had drifted away a bit already and my ex’s closest friend was and still is her husband, so I get it. It really hurt though (it was an amicable divorce, but still awful, and she had been my maid of honour). She essentially ghosted me and faded out my life but still sees my ex all the time. Everything you said about your inner circle really resonated with me because I’m the same. My husband was watching with me and he remarked that I’m exactly like that with people I love. I didn’t realise how much it still bothered me but your story has helped me realise I need to leave it in the past where it belongs and just remember the good times. I really appreciate it every time you tell us your stories, and I always take positivity away from them. So thank you for being a good friend to women you don’t even know, if that makes any sense (hopefully in a not creepy, non-stalkery way lol). ❤

I love when u talk about topics like this or do like story time while u get ready!! ❤ please do more ❤

People can really underestimate how hurtful the unbalanced relationship can be. When I broke up with the man who raised my kids for most of their young lives (their biological dad committed suicide when they were toddlers), he allowed the relationship to become horrifically one-sided. I had to beg him to visit them. When the kids became adults, my son, who has serious disabilities and mobility challenges, fought to keep the relationship alive with this person who wouldn't initiate contact and would not make any effort to come see him. This went on for years, and eventually my son was heartbroken when he realized that if he didn't reach out, he wasn't sure his "dad" would ever contact him again and at that point made the exceptionally painful decision to cut him out of his life entirely. I'm so proud of my son for making a difficult decision that was the best one for his emotional health, but I can't help but wish that in my youth I had chosen a stepdad who was worthy of the love my son had to give.

I almost didn't want to watch this video because I went through such a break up very recently and it's still very upsetting for me to think about. I am your age and I really thought that at this stage in my life I have mature relationships with people and especially with my two closest friends, whom I thought of as family...so I as very unprepared for the shock of the sudden dissolution of our relationship. It put me in very negative head space and I was really spiraling. I found out that talking to my husband and other friends about it really helps. I was very hurt and suddenly had so many negative thoughts about two people that I held in such high regard before. Getting those negative thoughts out felt like cleansing myself from the negativity so that it doesn't consume me.

I'm sorry. I can feel how hurt you (and your children) were by this. It amazes me how some people find it easier to ghost someone rather than have the "tough" conversations. They don't know what to say when you're going through a tough time or don't have the ability to go deep. Others seem to revel in your tough times but disappear when you achieve success bc they aren't happy for you (jealousy). Either way I have experienced both and the heartbreak is real.💔I am like you - I keep my circle very very tight. Lots of acquaintances but only two lifers that I trust completely and call my sisters. Enjoy your chosen family who love you and let go of the rest. 🤗

Charlotte you have all the good qualities of being a good friend, watching your videos is like having really good company, you seem to be very caring, understanding and make people laugh. I had the same not with a friend but with sisters.

This is hands down my favourite video from any beauty content creator. It's so meaningful to hear you talk about personal things that we all go through. You've given me a lot to think about. I'm like you and don't have a lot of friends by choice. But I've also gone through what you've described so eloquently. So thanks for sharing and giving us your perspective. It's helped me more than you can imagine❤

This is so relatable that I feel less alone ❤🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️🫶🏻

I can really relate to this topic. But you can't force people to give you the why of it all. And that's very hard for me personally. Especially as you get older, making friends can be very difficult. ❤

I so needed this! I’ve been so confused and hurt. Felt like I finally had a friend and don’t know what happened.

I feel like the heartbreak of a friendship breakup is not really spoken out and can be one of the most painful experiences.

I think adult friendship breakups was one of the most shocking aspects of adulthood for me. It’s actually only last year I realised too that someone who was toxic to you could simultaneously be great to someone else. That’s just the way life is sometimes.

You look gorgeous! It’s great we can talk about ended friendships here so ty. Hugs. I had a 45 year friendship end in May. I had to let her go. After being hurt so many times over the years.. a little piece of my heart got broken off each time, until there was no heart left (for the friendship). I have no regrets.

2 bridesmaids didn't bother to even text me when I was pregnant ( I'd moved 20 miles away). Then I bumped into one who was shopping with her new boyfriend in my town. She didn't ask how I was or say anything to my son, just said..oh wow youre not selling motherhood. 2nd bridesmaids dropped me once she got a new boyfriend. Other friend I knew from uni vanished after I told her I was struggling with my 2nd son because I had chronic post natal depression. I don't believe they were ever my friend. I trusted them all so much. Never again

i am having a end of a friendship right now, it is so distrubing for me, much pain and questions…. thanks so much for talking about it 🌹🇨🇦

This happens so often. Your friend gets a boyfriend and you stop existing. I don't understand why this happens. Surly you don't want to spend every second with just one person no matter how much you love them. The end result is that this person is left all by herself the second the relationship ends because they alienated every single person in their life.

Friendship breakups are worse than romantic ones. I still have vivid dreams about people I was close with in college and lost touch with and wake up feeling so upset and tbh that’s never really happened to me with ex bfs on the same emotional level

When, I was 24 years old, my best friend, since we were little kids, suddenly called to my work place and told me “I don’t want to be your friend anymore”, with no reason. She broke my heart and soul, she was my person. That was the worst break up I ever experienced in my life. We grew apart and I moved around the world for many years… Sincerely, I convinced myself I never would recoverer from that. My friendships became more superficials and I never let anyone else be too close to me. Now, in my mid forties we’re living again in the same country and for the last couple years she pursuit and almost begging me to recovery our friendship, she calls and says “I missed you so much for the last two decades” but now it’s way too late, I’m happy and have healthy relationships, I healed. I don’t know that person anymore and I don’t want to know her again.

There’s another part to this that might help you or someone else. Something very similar to what you described with your very best friend happened to me as well, except I was the other friend. I moved far away from my very best friend and my life got very busy, and as time moved on it became harder and harder to reach out (like you described at 32:00, it’s exactly how I felt). We have since gotten back together which I’m eternally grateful for, but it’s definitely because of her persistence. The thing is…I never had any idea that I was that important to her. She told me, for sure she told me. And she was (and is) enormously important to me. But I have struggled with low self-worth for my entire life, and it’s very very difficult to imagine anyone feeling sad about losing me. Even listening to you become so emotional…I can only think, wow is that how my friend felt about losing me? Why would anyone feel that way about losing me? She has so many other people in her life…I know this probably sounds stupid but I’ve never felt worthy of anyone. It’s also why I struggle in relationships. I take on way more than the other person and eventually give up because I feel “unseen” and like I have lost myself in the other person…when the other person is just thinking, “hey I never asked you to put in that much effort for me…,” but if I don’t, I can’t relax. Because I don’t feel worthy of anyone. I’m not asking anyone to tell me that I am…I’m fully aware that this mindset is not healthy and I’m working on it. I’m just offering up this perspective as “the other friend” in an almost identical situation (minus the really terrible life events you were experiencing when she disappeared).

I still have my very best friend since age 15. Again I am 64, almost 65. Everyday or a couple of days we talk. We can disagree on just about everything, argue and then we just crack up for hours. I love her more than anything.

I lost a close friendship a decade ago over something so insignificant, it’s painful till this day when I think about it. So sad

I, too, have a small circle of friends.

Ok ladies ( and gents ), I’ve just clicked the ‘Like’ button. To my horror there were only 702 ‘likes’. Please, let’s show the like button some love. Apparently it matters to those who are trying to use RU-vid to earn a living. I’ve never met Charlotte, don’t know any of her relatives or friends. Why don’t we give it a go? It’s not difficult, not demanding, so if it’s actually no big deal, give it a press. Please ❤ xxxx 😘

Omg Charlotte thank you so much for talking about this! I had no idea how common it is. My best friend who was like a sister to me suddenly ghosted me, not long after I'd had my baby boy. It hit me hard because I was grieving the loss of someone I loved and relied on, but there was such feelings of shame, embarrassment and self-blaming. Like you, the hardest thing was when family would ask after her and I'd have to say she was no longer in our lives anymore and they'd be hurt too. And I felt isolated with my baby since I always had a very small but close number of friends. But slowly slowly I made new friends and I realised that, if someone can do something like that to you, the problem is theirs. Thanks so much for sharing and reading everyone else's comments too definitely made me feel less alone :)

my 22 yr old son suffers from some mental health issues. about 2 months ago he literally ghosted all of his friends. even his cousin. fortunately with some therapy, adjusting meds he reached out to them today. i was so relieved they " accepted " him back!

I never cry about any of my previous breakups but when I remember the friendships I lost, that's when I lose it sometimes. That's what gets me more than any previous guy, that's a true heartbreak. And it feels good to know I'm not alone.

I’m going through a friendship breakup now so this video really hits hard. I’m really hurt and experiencing the emotions you mentioned - about not feeling good enough/not measuring up. I have to remind myself that I am worthy of true friendship and don’t deserve the treatment. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. ❤

I follow a tier system when it comes to friends. I have a small handful of very close mates, and then a much larger group of people I enjoy occasionally, but keep on the periphery for various good reasons. This is mostly due to my private nature and not wanting to engage and divulge details to those I do not feel always have my interests at heart. I do not make much effort when it comes to the outer periphery, but that is not to say that it isn’t pleasurable when catching up with these people to enjoy a few hours and laughs. No getting down to the nitty gritty, it’s all about lightheartedness. I have lost friends who have been in the top tier, but have been moved to the second tier and that can be as simple as not having as much in common as we once did, or someone more significant as a breach of trust. I’m glad you have made peace with your situation with your close friend. We are constantly evolving and sometimes we need to let go or have somebody else let go of us. And, who doesn’t love one of those intense chance meetings with a stranger that can sometimes have more meaning than years spent with others? ❤

My 17 year old daughter, when she cried her heart out about her friends ditching her, I felt so bad and so sad. I immediately got her into therapy because I wasn’t sure of what was happening. To watch the video, makes me feel like we all experience these things, anywhere. Thank you for this video!!!!

I think you are spot on. Sometimes people can’t apologise and they turn the situation around perhaps because they can’t face themselves. Feeling vulnerable or ashamed is intolerable for some people. But I always think the best part of us is our ability to be humble, say sorry and truly mean it.. When I feel deeply hurt (and it’s happened a few times) I try not to hit back. Hurt feelings can make us react strongly. I keep remembering that I’m better than that and refuse to lower myself by acting spitefully. That way we can start to heal and move on.

I grew up in a military family and always expected friendships to end. We keep in touch on social media, but it's not the same as every day in person. It is so much easier to make friends in school than as an adult at work.

Thank you for sharing , Charlotte! Maintaining your core values while going through a distressing experience, speaks volumes of your character! 🙌🏽💕 Here’s another meme, “You still haven’t met all the people who are going to love you!”

What an intelligent and articulate discussion of female friendships! I am a lot older, but have been through similar experiences, albeit when I was a lot younger. But in the last few months, I have actually dropped two friends - one had been close, although not for about 20 years, we had grown apart as she didn't support me in my divorce, so our friendship cooled, but I was still fond of her. A couple of things happened recently that made me realise I didnt want her in my life any longer, so I've let the friendship lapse. Another so called friend I've also dropped because she said I ought to have my eyebags removed!!! It was a little weird unfriending them on FB, but I feel better for it - now I only have friends who I know I can count on and I want close to me, and who supported me through my divorce. Thanks so much for sharing your story, Charlotte - I love and value your channel!

This video really resonates with me. Over the years it’s happened to me several times. Friends who I was really close to suddenly just cutting contact for no reason that I can see. I ALWAYS question myself and think that I must have done something wrong or said something to upset them, but I genuinely don’t think I did. It’s really hurtful and I dwelled on it a lot at the time. I agree with everything you said about some people just being in your life for a short time, and not everyone is the same with regard to friendships. It’s reassuring to know that it’s something that happens to a lot of people, and I honestly wish them well. This was a great video topic, and the make up is also very pretty. I have been eyeing that CT pallet for a while and I think I do actually need it xx

My best friend of over 30 years, who I met at work. We had lunch every day when we worked together. My husband and I moved 2 hours away, but our friendship was still so special. We could drive and meet each other and do all the girly things, eating and shopping, once a month. We would go to the beach for a week every summer. All of that stopped with covid. We talk on the phone every week but haven't seen each other since 2018. I am retired but she is still working and has to take care of her 92 year old Mother when she is not working. We are still friends but the closeness is gone. 😢

I had a very similar situation to this. My absolute best friend who was like a sister to me and I did everything with, who supported me when my dad died etc, after about 6 years of friendship just started slowly starving the relationship by cancelling on me, making vague accusations about me to other people, not wanting to hang out and so on. She started hanging out with some people who seemed to hate me on sight, and one in particular seemed to really want me out of the picture. Some other weird things happened around then, such as she one day broke down in front of me and accused a girl we used to know at school of having SA'd her, but I knew she hadn't seen her for years. She also wrote me a really nasty letter one day demanding I call her and just saying horrible things about me. Things staggered along for a while, l started working and she went to do a postgrad. She also started seeing a therapist for depression, and then things went really downhill. It was like suddenly I was locked out of her life. She'd tell me she couldn't come out because she was depressed, but then I'd hear she'd been out with other people we knew. The therapist sessions seemed to turn her against me, but she never said why. One day she called me saying she was suicidal. She was hysterical and it took 3 hours to calm her down and get her to promise to call 999 or go straight to a doctor. I was in the south east and she was in Newcastle at this time, and i was skint, but I got straight on a train that weekend to see her and support her. While there we decided to go to a nightclub with some friends, and at the end of the night, all of us got separated from her. Nobody could reach her on her phone, she just vanished into thin air. Eventually we all had to leave and made our way home. A few hours later, she turned up, soaking wet, slamming doors and yelling at me about how I'd abandoned her, and it was typical of me etc (this is the one and only time we'd ever been separated like that and it was her who had gone off). She was screaming at me and wouldn't calm down for ages while i tried to reason with her. All her housemates had been with me all night but were too weak to back me up. We kind of made up the next day, but it was never the same. She eventually returned to our hometown and it was like she was allergic to me. She would find any reason not to see meor reply to messages, and when she did, she wouldn't be her old self, it was like talking to a. stranger. I got angrier and stopped beating myself up as much about it, I just felt let down and hurt. One day, she cancelled on me for the third time in a row, just before Christmas. That was it for me, I gave her a piece of my mind, and told her I was fed up with how she was treating me. I think she responded but I can't remember what was said. I decided I'd had enough and I finally cut her off and decided not to contact her again. We didn't talk for about 8 years, by which time I'd had my son. I never really understood what had happened or how such a dear friend could just cut me out of her life like that for no reason. It was one of the most painful things I've ever been through. I spoke to a therapist about it, I spoke to mutual friends, I tried desperately to find a reason for it all, but finally I just had to move on. One day, out of the blue, about 8 years later, I got a text message saying she'd seen me outside mothercare and wanting to make contact again. No explanation or anything, just as though we'd lost touch naturally. The curiosity and needing answers led me to let her in again. It seemed to be going OK. We messaged, discussed motherhood (she had also had a son), had a couple of nice day trips together, and I thought maybe it was all a blip and things would get back on track. She told me she had been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and was now on lithium, which I felt maybe explained some of the erratic behaviour from before, but she still never gave me a reason or apology. We arranged to meet up again and I messaged her. No reply. messaged again, still no reply. I tried phone and FB, nothing. I backed off. This went on for several months and once again, I heard from mutual friends that she was spending time with them regularly. After a few months and one last attempt, I finally blocked her, and as painful as it was, I just felt duped and used. I will never ever allow her near me again. I also cut out all the mutuals as I realised they were unhealthy to be around, and I didn't owe them a window into my life. I still find it very upsetting. I'm 48 now and the first cut off was when I was late 20s, the second one mid thirties. I'll never know how much of the friendship was real. The second time round she told me she'd thrown away all my letters, even though I'd kept hers all those years. That to me said a lot about our intent towards each other. I don't know what part the bipolar played, I have other bipolar friends and they are decent people who struggle sometimes, but are basically good friends. I don't know what she said to other people about me either, but I know she was saying something bad. Even now, I just don't understand it. I still have dreams about her, her home, her parents etc, trying to process it I guess. It still feels like a knot inside me, even though it's been years now and my whole life has moved on. I know I'm a really good friend. I'm generous and loyal and I've got longstanding friendships. Two of the people who at the time were more secondary friends to me have now been my closest friends for over two decades, we've supported each other through everything life throws at you. The problem isn't me, and that's the biggest realisation for me. I spent years blaming myself and searching for reasons, but sometimes there isn't a reason. Some people are just selfish, cruel, or don't care about you as much as you think they do. As other people have said, it's surprising who your friends really are when the chips are down, and it's often not the people you think. Recently I was put in touch with someone I'd had a passing acquaintance with during the years I was hanging out with the person above. I always thought she was really cool, and we'd chat briefly if I saw her at a club, but that was it. I never knew anything about her, she was kind of friends with my brother and dated a boy I went to school with and clubbed with (who has also turned out to be a really loyal friend unexpectedly). Anyway, we started talking and quickly realised we had loads in common, and that we really like each other. It's turned into one of my closest, most rewarding friendships, even though we now live several counties apart. We often say of romantic relationships that when someone toxic leaves your life, they create room for someone better, and it's true of friendships too. It can be really painful to realise someone didn't care about you the way you cared about them, but ultimately, it improves the quality of your life to get rid of false friends who just create insecurity and doubt. I think it's true that there are friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for life. Real lifelong friendships are rare, but precious. I'm really lucky to have found some wonderful friends over the years. I wish healing for everyone who has been through this experience. It really is like a divorce or death, but things are better once you get to the other side 😊

I had a few of these and finally got tired of being let down and decided that I would stay away from friendships with women. Now my women "friends" are on RU-vid or Instagram and they never hurt or disappoint me!

I had a friend in high school that I actually stepped away from because her dad flirted with me and I didn’t know how to explain that. She was close when her family and always wanted me to come over.

Thank you for sharing this. I also lost a friendship in a similar way and it hurts. But you move on. But then there is my best friend from over 25 years. She is my sister from another mother. ❤

So beautifully stated, been there💔, love your videos, THANK YOU❤️

This video couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time for me. I am going through something very similar to that right now. It’s hard when we put more value in a friendship than the other person. I have other friendships that have faded away but I think of them as being seasons in my life and I treasure their memories. Thank you for sharing, you are a blessing to others.

Thank you for sharing!! You're absolutely right about this being so common. I wish it wasn't though because it always hurts to lose friends. 💔 I hope you are doing better. Big hugs from far away!

You look beautiful! And thank you for such a relatable topic. You’re right it can be so painful and hard to understand when these things happen, but it’s so helpful, like you said, to remember that sometimes it’s just different phases of life,..or who knows what’s happening in their life that caused them to shift their attention elsewhere. It’s often not intentional, and we’ve all possibly unknowingly hurt someone else in our lives at some point…so it’s good to be as understanding as possible. Resentment only hurts ourselves more. Someone once compared holding a grudge to drinking poison and expecting the other person to die lol, it only hurts ourselves. Better to forgive and forget. I really admire your attitude Charlotte, you have so much love and compassion for people 💕

Thanks for sharing this! So sorry for the loss of one of your friends and I think that sometimes people just change and like you said they are only in some of our chapters. I went through a similar situation with some friends and then reconnected with a friend I had not seen for a decade.

When I was 19 I heard the term “fair weather friend” from an older woman I worked with and that is what I’m picking up on in your situation. They are around when things are good for you but when you need support in any way….they disappear. Also, who knows why people do what they do.

I’ve experienced similar things many times in my life, and I’ve always felt unpleasant, hurt, started thinking the same things about myself. But then over time I came to the conclusion, that that kind of friendship that we initially believe in is simply an illusion, now I think friendship is nothing more than temporary having something in common with smb (interests, emotional intersection etc), which always comes and goes. It is no more than about having some good time together, sharing, giving and receiving something mutually without any expectation and deep attachments. This way nobody would feel disappointed, upset or hurt Because everything comes to its end, relationships can run its course. It’s just that one friend can discover it earlier than the other And when you see friendship this way (simpler, without strong commitment) from the beginning, you won’t feel surprised and unprepared, which make us upset and frustrated

Strange how things go, sometimes.❤

I can't tell you how much I love your channel. Your videos are always so wholesome and uplifting, but I really appreciate some of the more serious topics and conversations. I am also sorry that these relationships caused you so much pain. I completely relate, and it's really good to hear that you're not the only one. I think that you're right, it's far more common than we think. I have arrived at the conclusion that friends like that don't deserve us. It's one thing being sidetracked by life, but callous disregard is a deal-breaker for me. Also, any friend you truly care about, you could absolutely have a conversation with to resolve any issues, if there were any. That's what you would want to do if you care for a person at all. Leaving someone to agonise over what happened is pretty cruel, I can't imagine ever doing that to someone. It's so painful and unnecessary, and can bother the people left behind for a very long time. Ultimately you cared more than they did. I love the quote at the end. This video has made me feel a lot better. Thank you 😊

Thank you for talking about friendship breakups. 😢

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing these stories with us. One of my very close friends said it best, friends are either are here for a reason, a season or a lifetime. ❤

I’m so glad you are talking about this. I broke up with a friend years ago, but I did have a long phone call to say goodbye. We talked about why it was happening without shaming or blaming. We honored each other and said goodbye and I love you. I had multiple boundary violations with her❤

I love your videos,how friendy and honest you are. Thanks for this.💜 I always watch and listen to your videos while working it's really fun 😁 xo from LA

Your last story really resonated with me. I have come to realize that for many things in life, there is a season. I can be grateful that people were in my life for the season, and that for whatever reason, the season changed. Trying to sort out why was a waste of time, so moving on ultimately made the most sense. Not that the loss wasn’t painful but I knew that the pain was one sided and moving on was necessary for me to heal and have perspective.

You are so funny and fun that I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to stand beside you along the way. I admire the way you rationalize that people are around during certain periods of our lives. I agree that friends get awkward when they owe you an apology. Also it could be her spouse, bc you said she was single and then she started a family. I do believe when people let you down or act badly it’s because they are broken in some way and not able to do anything other than get by day to day.

I'm so sorry to hear that you went through this 💔 I consider you a good friend I haven't met yet❤️ I can tell you're a treasure of a friend and it's a huge loss for her. Thanks for sharing this bc so many of us have gone through this! I had something similar happen. After much reflection, I realized that when I moved and no longer was a resource for her, she disappeared. After a few years we did have one phone conversation and I made the decision that if she didn't ask what my new baby's name is, I would stop trying to keep this friendship going. She never did ask and I haven't contacted her again. There's a season for everything 🙏❤️

Thank you for sharing this. You did a really good job of addressing a complex issue.

this is an amazing video. Your honesty really hits home and I appreciate you very much. Something similiar happened to me. I was going thru a hard time and a "friend" of 25 years, that I thought was a good one - completely thru me under the bus, stopped talking to me completely and never bothered to ask if she could help - although I had been there for her during traumas. Thank you for doing this! I also have a very small circle and can only live the best life I can.

What a great topic! It affects us all at some point In our lives. Dealing with this right now but it’s a slow boil rather than a sudden break. When you can’t trust someone you thought was your friend - GOODBYE!

Thank you so much for doing this video and being so vulnerable, Charlotte! I am going through your scenario number one and two right now with more than one person, actually, and trying to decide if I’m done being the one to keep the friendship alive. I am. Everything you said about it’s normal, natural and fine is true, except if the other person keeps promising to make plans with you and they can’t ever seem to make it happen. That’s called lying. I’m done! The advice I found most helpful with any kind of friendship breakdown is “people are busy. “That’s all there is to it sometimes.

Thank you for making this video. It was the perfect timing as I had a run in with an ex close friend last night. I appreciate you sharing your perspective.

I had to break up a friendship because I found out something really shady about my lifelong friend. I was devastated to find out she wasn’t who I thought she was. I never told her the reason why I distanced myself. What she did felt like a stab wound. She wasn’t a good friend at that point in life. I’m so happy she no longer has any part of my life. I wish her the best but don’t ever want to be around her again. 😢

Thankyou. You have no idea how bringing this subject up as helped me and probably lots of others. I can tell how hard it was for you to do but also how you felt you must do it bith for yourself and for others. Firstly let me say this, i think you are right in your best guess she didnt know what to say , then left it too long , then got embarrassed , felt guilty so avoided you. Death or bad illness some people just cannot handle, then they feel guilty . Guilt makes people feel like shit . And to apologize means admitting your guilt which it takes a strong person to do which unfortunately most people are not able. Ive been where you are , more than once. I used to blame myself and rack my brains for hours replay conversations etc etc . Im sorry for your loss, and anyone else reading this going through it.

I had a friendship breakup. I would write her but she wouldn't write back. We grew up together & she was Maid of Honor in my wedding. Godmother to my first son. The last letter she didn't get to read: she passed away at 49

You're such a beautiful person, Charlotte, inside and out. So sorry that you went through that. You've put into words what so many of us have gone through. 💖 xo

This is such an important conversation. Thank you and I didn’t realize I needed to hear and remember the words you spoke. ❤

Thanks for this video Charlotte. I could see you getting a bit emotional and I can really relate! I have been through this one and can feel it happening currently with a friend of 30years and realize that I have done most of the giving and constant support each time she needed me! I realize at 64 yrs old that we dint have the same important values or views and I dont respect her i finally realize. Yet I am still the one that always reaches out first and then scolded that i hadnt reached out sooner! I have decided that I will no longer be doing that and so it’s been several months that she has not reached out to me. I have made peace with it though and decided that we are not suited to be close friends at least not anymore she was there for me during a period of my life, and now that period has passed.

Thank you, Charlotte. I needed to hear some of the stuff you said in your video. This happened to me with my friend of almost 8 years. I feel like turning 40 and the ensuing mid-life crisis changed my friend, then her kid disrespected me and she completely dismissed me and why I thought it was problematic behaviour and why I couldn't accept it. It made me realise how unbalanced the friendship had become, we would babysit their kids, cook for them, always come over to their place to accommodate them. And at some point enough was enough.

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After watching this video, I decided to call a friend that I have not spoken to in over a year. We haven't spoken because I moved across country. We have remained friendly over social media, but when was the last time I had called her? She did not answer, probably because she works, and the time difference, but it still felt nice to make the call, and leave a message. I wanted to actively do something.

What a genuine, sincere video Charlotte. Thank you for opening up your heart. I have also lost a few friends over the years in exactly the same way and even when I was suffering ill health. It still hurts.....great video! ❤

I love hearing your take on things. You just have a very calming presence. I think we can all relate to this topic in some way. People can just disappoint you. You think someone is one way, you're certain of it, and then something happens or something is said and you realize omg they are NOT that way at all!

I’m experiencing something similar with a friend right now. There was an occurrence that made me realize I’ve been expending considerably more energy than my friend has to maintain our friendship, and it sucks. It’s definitely hurtful. I think you’re awesome for making this video!

Sweet lady. Sometimes GOD, takes people out of our lives, because He hears the things they say in private. It's hard, as it's happened to me as well. But, GOD always know what is best for us.🙏🏼❤️Trust Him!

Charlotte, thank you so much for making this video. I, too, had one big friendship breakdown and two minor ones. The big one was over 2 yrs ago now, we had been friends for 20 yrs and i thought we would be friends until we were old, we actually used to joke about getting old together. I was angry at first, but now I've expected it and moved on. We were both single through the first 11 yrs of our friendship, and then she got a boyfriend, and then i got with my partner 6 months later. The first 2vyrs she was with him things were fine, we still seen each other txted but then i would get less and less. I would txted every week and sometimes i wouldn't get a reply, so i went to every fortnight, then every 3 weeks so you could see where this was going. Then it ended up just seeing each other on birthdays, Christmas, and that was how it was for like the last 4 years of the friendship, i felt like she was phasing me out and then on my 38th birthday she didn't even wish me happy birthday and i was so upset. My mum saw her a week after my birthday when she was out shopping and said we had been out for a meal for my birthday and she didn't say anything she just said that's nice. So her birthday was 3 months after mine and i didn't wish her happy birthday, so she blocked me on her socials, and that's when i knew it was over. I still see her from time to time and we say hi but thats it. I totally agree it's best to mute them because i would of done that if she hadn't of blocked me. Her mum died just over a year ago, so i did txt her and we had a little chat but that's it. I definitely think people come into our lives at different stages so i look back on our friendship, and I'm happy for all the memories we made together because they are forever 😊

Thank you Charlotte for your vulnerability on this topic. I know your grief well 💜🇨🇦

I appreciate that you made this video, it seemed tough but it meant a lot to someone like me who has had this happen many times. Most of the time I was completely surprised and the surprise and confusion was really the worst part. I guess the saying is true, friends for a reason, friends for a season and then friends for life.

I am 43 and it's all relatable. You said it at the end, some ppl are here for a good time but not a long time. Things I've read & resignates with me are, "When they are not speaking to you, that means they are talking about you." And as you grow older, your friendship circle gets smaller. And that's ok. Interests, lifestyle & priorities change. For me, at least, it was easy for me to "let go" bc I managed on my own, it didn't make a difference to have them in my life. I was a very good friend & it's their loss. My grandfather, mother, & aunt passed on in a span of 2 years & they were not there for me. It put things in perspective. All you can do is wish them well.

Wow!! This right here was so on point!! I've had this happen a few times as well. I was never given a reason or any explanation even when I asked for one. So I gave up, you don't want to tell me what I did, then I'm done trying to have you in my life. The End.

THANK YOU….. I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS.😢 Obviously, I was just a better friend… and I knew that, but I just needed to hear it. THANK YOU CHARLOTTE. THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL VIDEO BUT YOU HAVE HELPED ME UNDERSTAND IT. ❤️ I’m now going to put on my bright red Chanel lipstick and hold my head up high .😉

Sending you a big hug 😊 friendships are hard. I don’t have any close friends anymore but I’m hopeful about the people and friendships ahead of me

I'm a smidge older than you 😉😉 & I lost a friend I had from age 4. It stung & it still does, though it's been a couple of years. But the reason was something not negotiable for me. So I didn't compromise just to make her happy. I didn't realize for her that was it. Ultimately, it's ok. I know I didn't dump her. Thank you for sharing your story. I truly appreciate it. 🥰

I’m sitting here feeling like you just shared the story of me and who I thought was my best friend. So many similarities, my mind is whirling with thoughts and feelings. I’m truly at a loss for words except to say thank you for sharing. I’m going to watch this again when I clear my head.

Thank you for sharing. I love this video because I have always struggled with having close friends. It’s so hard to get rejected by someone who you think is so close to you 😢. Again thank you for being so genuine. I feel like you are such a kind soul and absolutely hilarious. I enjoy your videos so much. I would love to be friends with someone like you 😊!