Life was never about me... but that was only clear after I was finally allowed to f*ckin' be myself 

Beware of the subtle breadcrumbs of non-dual language/ideas leading you into a new story, the story of non-duality. The documentary Who's Driving the Dreambus has a couple of young people using this same ND language with absolute beaming certitude. Checked to see where they are now and both have moved on and describe what they were experiencing then as a particular experience but far from the complete picture. One writes about awakening from non-duality and the other is a therapist working with people from the ND community who have gotten messed up on the path of negating all form/experience. I have also had this experience, the first thing I did was throw spaghetti on the wall and rub it in my face because suddenly everything was seen as empty and nothing mattered, it was wild. But there is still a body there and there is still an energetic life which never stops moving and changing. Lumping all form into a bin of meaningless irrelevance can be a sneaky way to camp out in the untouchable place and never have to deal with form again. All form being irrelevant and "That" being the only thing that's relevant is its own duality. Just something to be on the look out for...or completely disregard :). I enjoy your videos and hearing about your experience 🙏

Life has only ever been about you . Its how you feel about yourself and how you make people feel. You are seperated to learn yourself. Its a sweet thing. Loving thing.

May you be happy and peaceful

Hi Suzanne. Thanks so much for your message, you help me so much with feeling less alone on this very lone path. Things are losing meaning over here and my conditioning is terribly depressed about it. It feels like the more I glimpse truth, the more disturbed and helpless I feel. I know this is all going to the end of me and I’m afraid.

You are helping that's the joke here you just do it in the most honest direct and vulnerable way possible. Thank you :)

This might be the truest expression of “Acceptance “ I’ve ever heard! So true for me. I tried to not be angry, to not be an asshole, but the ONLY way that angry asshole energy began to untangle and dissipate was when I began to have greater and greater acceptance for being an angry asshole! True of shame, fear, and sexual energy, as well. We talk so much about acceptance, but in fact we are mostly so stingy about accepting these simple, basic, and ultimately harmless energies within ourselves… 🙏🏼💙🔥🫥🤯🌻

Work and conversation with collegues today triggered me back into my story, having inauthentic conversations and beating myself up about it. A new little death waiting for me to experience - the foresight is still jarring to me. But i keep faith and continue to be humbled again and again. Thanks for sharing Suzanne

It is very interesting that I happened on this video. Your reflection on life mirrors mine in thought. I am an empath so putting others before myself was always my drive. My father told me once, “you should never get so comfortable that you cannot stop what you are doing to help someone.” My dad stressed not being lazy and caring for other people. this became my mission in life. To help those I could whenever I could. He was such a wonderful man, mentor, philosopher, teacher. caring soul. The cost was me being self-less. So later on in my years of life. I came to the conclusion that this life was never about me. Serving others was the ultimate gift, even if it meant my losing myself. I mean who was I after all ... just energy and I could use this entity to help others. The house I always dreamt of having become only that... a dream, the things I would have liked to have had become just that a dream. What was most important was to make the people in my life comfortable. never being an added problem to their lives etc. My mother, bless her. She put the boys in our family before us girls including my dad. Mom and Dad both worked. When she would get upset about something and dad wasn't there she would scream. She would yell she wished she hadn't had us kids or she wished she was dead or She should kill herself... Those times hurt and being the one to always make things right because I believed I was just a burden in her life. I would quietly slip out of the room if there was no appeasing her. She only knew what she knew. Later on in life I took a job working at a school in an enrichment program for kids teaching life skills, teamwork, character, empathy, and strengths. I believe that in being selfless one becomes unimportant. My thoughts only entertain me, my thoughts are not the interest of others. I have become a servant entity. I am a pawn on this chess plain. Thoughts are only that - thought. Like you said the world does not revolve around me anymore. What will become of me. I am simply a servant. You know funny thing I heard on a preview of a series coming up ... a woman struggling ... and she says, "I'm just the cleaning lady!!" It summed everything up for me. So when someone anyone talks about self-importance I look inward and that is my thought hmmm "I'm just the cleaning lady!!" I have had a complete life it seems it's just living to die now... help those I can and be happy to do it. I am tired of fighting for myself in thought as it seems so defeating. So in essence I just want to rest and in resting I have let go of self. becoming selfless. You said it there's no knowing to anything because even our thoughts we dismiss as not being important. Dissolving makes perfect sense. We just "are." The fact that you are in a cemetery is so familiar to me as I love to record cemeteries as these are lives forgotten. So, in trying to find out more about the people written on headstones I research them and find treasures as I bring them to life. I mean who else cares about these entities that were once living having lives. Thank you for your videos and sorry my thoughts are so lengthy. Lol would sound absolutely morbid to others but I even wrote my own obituary the other day just to reflect on my life. It was so interesting. You have such an awareness thank you for sharing.

I’m speechless and it feels good , thank you Suzanne

Thanks!

This is so helpful! Authentic, open transparent, relatable. A gift.

Thank you SO much for this sharing!❤ the leaves are also blowing and falling here- I feel the arising and falling away very beautifully in this🍂🍁

I love when you said "I've never loved Suzanne THAT much" - I am finding self-acceptance and love more and more through sensational presence. Thank you for sharing more of your experience.

Gorgeous video. The settings, the feelings, the purity.

Gosh, I wish I could let go and drop this self that I keep carrying around with me....even just for a short break. Love these ideas! You are wise beyond your years!

Thank you, Suzanne. For documenting and communicating this.

I feel like an example I could give, would be like, you left earth and are floating off in space....the further you get away from earth, the less attachment to it there is, earth is still out there somewhere, but the distance grows and grows infiniftely.

ITS AUTUMN....❤❤❤❤

Its so valuable for me what you share🙏 It seems a similar personality, set of programms runs here...And similar insights are happening...and its so reassuring to not question them... Thank you!

Thank you for sharing❤

Thank you Suzanne. The message is becoming more and more clear. The feeling of being in the womb and this is all there is. Just sinking into that and it’s a feeling of home. A loving , cozy, happy, safe home. 🩷

Thanks Suzanne. Language is imperfect. Love you're videos John wexford Ireland

Missed you. Wish you well .

Hello Suzanne Good to hear from you my Beautiful sister, You Are Absolutely right to say that you can't imagine it or think of it or nothing never touch it. It can not be described... This life is Beyond thoughts words and descriptions ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I feel this may be a temporary passage we are going through, speaking about what it is and isn't. It seems another attempt to articulate and share as the window widens. Becoming aware of someone who is noone.

Keep crushing these concepts we created, this is it❤

transmission came through so beautifully, could literally watch you just sit there for hours

Thanks Suzanne❤

Watching this reminds me of how long i was away from this silent solace. 🙏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾

Being One With Everything and Nothing is Bliss!! Divine Love is all that’s Real 🙏🏼😌💜

There's no knowing of anything here and a distinct awareness of awareness and that everything is thought and this is all just concepts and stories but there's still so much desire and deep pain and suffering and fear and a practical life I can't escape from (single parent, and a completely inept one at that, along with being utterly dysfunctional in every area of life that a human being is expected to be at least reasonably functional in). Since I can't get rid of that story and all the nervous system dysregulation from the trauma that comes from it, I keep trying to change the story to something better through "manifestation" techniques, like scripting, affirming visualizing, breathwork, guided meditations, all of this stuff. It seems to be helping sometimes but then all the inner turmoil boils back up and it's just the same old shit again. All this talk about "releasing" or "letting go" of samskaras, vasanas, etc. etc. is starting to feel like bullshit. That all the somatic work I try to do to feel into all these emotions and blah blah blah just goes nowhere. Nothing ever gets permanently released or "healed". It's all just starting to feel like either it's total bullshit or it just doesn't work for ME. Maybe because I'm neurodivergent, maybe I don't have the same kind of neuroplasticity that some other people seem to have. I'm just getting tired of trying to fix myself just so I can live in this practical world in some semi-normal, acceptable way.

I am so delighted to hear that you have this BEAUTIFUL retreat center and I hope that everything is going Gracefully well with you and I hope that we can meet each other in person in very near future ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you, Suzanne. This was something I needed to hear.

Fantastic. Yes for me it's the realm of "controlled folly" as Don Juan Matus described in Carlos Castaneda books. It's leaving the ego-centric reality but pretending the ego-centric world matters because that's where all of your friends and family still reside. A question I've been pondering for a long time is "is everything a metaphor?". A metaphor meaning using something completely unrelated to describe something else. I think the answer is "yes" which is exhilarating to me.

Beautiful,, Thank you Suzanne.

🙋🏻‍♀️➰🩲👃🏽💕🏃🏾‍♂️....🧎🏾‍♂️🪂🛩️ umm Suzanne's non duality brings me alive umm..

Phuckin finally!

Your soul has purpose, not your mind and ego. As you learn about the other aspects of reality the material is not so detrimental.

Beautiful ❤

If you speak publicly you cannot get around the paradox perspective gives rise too.

Thanks so much for expressing your experience Suzanne. ❤ Totally relate.

Your words deeply speak to what I have been experiencing. Thank you for sharing your insights.

Your open sharing is helping me tremendously. Thank you.

Balance the yin yang! To the universe you are almost nothing! To yourself, you are everything!

Wow Susanne . How brave. I have never understood something more entirely. Than, I do, today.

Köszönjük!

the claiming of the thoughtm if there, is also the environment :)

I be been curious about the idea that “the body keeps the score” as discussed in the book of the same name. Do emotions get “trapped” in the body until “released” or is it just feelings arising anew and the mind labeling them as familiar and attributing them to something that happened in the past? If the latter is true, is trauma all in the mind?!

Some might regard this quote, perhaps, as not relevant. But I think perhaps it is: "We might ask ourselves: if there is totality to begin with, where does ignorance come from? If ignorance emerges, it seems to imply a flaw in the totality. That's a very interesting question, an extremely good question. And in fact, that seems to be the whole message! Therefore, the Buddha and the great teachers aren't inspired to give a secondhand answer to that question. It has to be a firsthand answer, one that comes from you. In fact, the answer to that question might be the password to enlightenment. We might go as far as to say that."

for real, the body does its own thing. it reacts in unsuspected ways for me. I can only observe and speak kindness into it. There is nothing I can do to control how it "should" react in certain situations it just does and does not give a f*ck about should and should nots.

I feel like the body will always do its job as a mechanism to protect itself. The "I" or "me" or "myself" has nothing to do with the body I suppose. The body wants to survive, while the "I" wants to experience. I suppose we are in a constant state of ying'ing and yang'ing haha. I often wonder what it would be like to experience the energy we felt at like 1 or 2 years old. Having the sense of nothingness, just pure enjoyment. Expressing ourselves without the conditions of others and social life. In regards to what you said about the self identity falling away, conditional habits falling away... It, again, feels like the body wants to survive off of what it knows based off what it has experienced. So in turn it "feels" difficult but it really isn't. That's just a made up story that our body labels as personality traits. There is no such thing, huh? Every moment I'm someone different, but the body's memory wants me to replay the same story to stay in the familiar. ALL in ALL, it's like Jim Carrey said, "The character is what trips you up, the thing of, "I'm going to get so dark in this character that I'm going to get lost in a character." You can't get lost in a character. You can only think you're lost in a character."

Hi there, such a beautiful video. I see and hear you so completely. I get where you are at. The same is happening here too..Its so hard to explain because words come out dualistic. And yet we have to communicate in this language. Yes, you are so correct very hard to talk about

Thanks for sharing your thoughts; I really enjoyed listening to you and your soothing voice. PS the audio was just fine 😊

😂😂. Great episode. To honestly express oneself, isn’t this what everyone would like to be able to do? There seems to be a vocabulary that ties in to expression of non-duality. But it tends to break apart in favor of comparison, distance, weight and time. Such are the makings for sadness and fear. For most. Its surprising to see this in others but ever more shocking to see it in oneself. Challenges will come and knock non duality into all things quantum- endless possibilities, impossibilities and confusion. Is there an art, action or practice which conditions the body towards unconditional freedom? A freedom to be oneself. A freedom to be oneself, even in stormy weather?

I'm also feeling the "what's gonna happen if the story leaves... "

chasing risers with dries is how I prefer to fish flies

Thanks for the helpful sharing

I so relate to what you're saying, Suzanne. When you say there's no society, no others and, in reality, there never were, it feels a bit like watching a movie of life but there's no one watching. It's just revealed that there's only this life appearance from a position of utter peace. Turbulence may still seem to occur but it doesn't stick. Just amazing and thanks for the pointing. However, there can be confusion in what you say. For example, in this video, you say this is both so simple and also so complex. Can it really be both? Could you pls clarify?

A surrender where a lot is lost, but it doesn't feel like losing. It's beautiful, and there's no going back. 🥲👍

this person makes me depressed, no zest of life. awakening my ass. but i still love her.

It seems like Awakening comes after meditation or a truly random event, and then the break-away dissolve phase begins which lasts until full Enlightenment. That's what I'm seeing from my end anyway. All this talk resonates with me. And I like to see the notes of progress being talked about as well. Teh gradual shifting from an ex-human to simply expression of All That Is. Through graveyards we dance and chatter like skulls - Death is no more an ally than a friend.

🌷

This is mind blowingly obvious!! Doesn't need to be expressed or explained in the end.

I love you!!!

edit: you cleared up something i commented on later in the vid. can't seem to delete

shoutout suzanne

I'm also struggling to even feel the story... I even miss its heaviness

UNADULTERATED 😘 Such a funny word I rarely use… Funny how we never say “adulterated” Are we saying that adults mess things up!? Diluting down joy and sorrow just the same 🙃

Good job on expressing the ND perspective. It is indeed very difficult to put into words. Most will not understand, and that's OK. It's a natural course of the flow, beyond simple, but most peeps' minds tend to step in with all sorts of distractions and agendas. Happy to see you seem to have settled into the Realization.

Everything is looking Easy😉😊

It's funny how the truth really exposes that we were never social creatures...humans are only social out of fear of being alone. You are always alone, it's just a flimsy "you" character, lose that and then it's jus calm neutral nothingness. You think back, and go hmm...it's crazy that everyone around is so...bullshitted into playing a role in a play that they never auditioned for lol. Yet they are just being miserable and trying to control the nothingness...fear.

audio is fine thank you

What is your take on psychic mediums, NDE experiences, seeing departed people, souls and angels?

You still have to work hard to make a living whatever fantasy you believe in

Darlin ...beautiful BEAUTIFUL sweet love that you are! ...you are EVERYTHING!!!! you are ego ...and super ego ...strip away the body ...strip away the mind . What you left with? BEINGNESS .. you create your own ego...but its not ego...ego is something placed on you...what ypu are doing...isCHARACTER! Self made! TWICE BORN!

Me toooooo that I realised must live outside society because only this environment

Oh, Lord! Not another one

I hear you, "nothing can describe it.". Enlightenment what the hell is that. Just a word that attempts to describe the indescribable. All we can do is talk but nothing Is learnt until we walk the talk. We can't know the path we can only walk it here and now.

Please, please ,please people, dont' get stuck in non-duality. How one mentally frames this human experience is EVERYTHING. This BS about labelling your personality/past as "story" is useful as a tool.......for like.......2 seconds..........but we are meant to be fully functioning human beings. Yes, to know ourselves as MORE than our conidtioned patterns.......but it's about integrating that. Which is why all lovers of vedanta will eventually have to open their hearts and come back to their emotional self and OWN it.

You're becoming the moon!

🙂

Wouldn't say the story stops, it just continues on without "you" participating or believing it lol. Also as for memories...don' trust memories. They are just another layer to the self, a piece of the diorama, one of ego's many tricks. You can be amused by them but they aren't "real." You can read a book that you really enjoyed and years later you still recall that book. But the book was still just a story...completely phony lol.

I know exactly what you are describing. That falling away is just the nothingness having less egoic fragments in it. Less attachment to shit. As for saying people wont understand, ain't that the truth lol. People don't want to understand, cause that would change or destroy the current "them".

I like you.

Meditation technqiue for you ...go to a quiet place ....put your on your heart....do a couple push ups or something to get your blood flowing ....that pulsing...is GOD ! God...lives in your HEART! Your internal state ...creates your outter being . You co create your own being . Learning to FEELLLL!

Looking at this me or not me is just a reinforcement of concept even if it's meant to be a way of negating the concept itself, it still sticks around. It may be better without all these distinctions and to see them as irrelevant and lose interest in it. The focus can lift off it and shift towards the nurture of Spirit, a kind of lightning rod that dispels all the mental machinations.

What isnt misinterprated 💯. This is how I am baaaaby😂.

Theravadans would understand, all phenomena (the truth of our reality) through the lens of the "Three Characteristics" that of Annicca-Dukkha-Annata

Do you regret awakening?

You remind me of Lumalee from the Super Mario Brothers movie.

The last time you would feel it This Way = The last time you would feel it as separate from you?

I don't think there's anyone in touch with reality as this woman

Sounds like Liberation (or Moksha) is approaching. Hint: no more emotions (at least for a while) 🙂

Holy fish, there she is again, breathing for just three quarters of an hour, and then she disappears back into the depths of the water, until next time...

"No desire for this to happen for others". This is a big thing that devides false teachers from truth speakers. As if it is the one big solution for everything😅instead it can lead to unbearable problems when the "I" dissolves which should be talked about much more

yep...there is more More continually being Being... now Presence, aka Agape, just Is's.

❤❤

But this is the continuation...of yet another story.

fck yea

Mam.. amazing,let me know books,Hindi,eng.,so thanks.