I am a 73-year-old disabled widower. There are many things I can no longer do. I watch your videos to remind myself of what used to be. I could use a true “gentleman’s gentleman” such as you in my life, my friend..
Where does your will to live come from? Since it's rather anonymus over the internet I dare ask this question that may be deemed unkind, but it comes from a place of curiosity as I can personally not come up with a good enough answer. I very much understand everyone's body will deteriorate to a degree, but you have said you're disabled, that seems rather serious. You're a widow, also absolutely awful to go through and I'm sorry for your loss. So you went from high highs in life, and I don't want to put words in your mouth but you can saw low lows now. Also don't want to assume things won't get better, but I will. Since I'm currently in the hospital myself with a lot of elderly people around in states I'd never want to be in, I also wonder what keeps them going, but on the internet it's a bit easier. This man I share the hospital room with has sailed multiple seas, lived in the Caribbean for 10 years etc. and now he is here in a Dutch hospital soiling his diaper. The human ability to adapt is astounding and something I don't understand yet. Apologies if I offend you and feel free to ignore this, but I would be very interested in your answer. I'd have to say 73 is not that old yet, the gentleman in my room is certainly older.
Not sure why your video popped up, but I found it so interesting. As a a woman these little gentlemanly gestures are very appreciated by women. It denotes caring for others and then he might care for me. Helping with a seatbelt makes one feel protected, and help with heavy things is so appreciated, and I have never had a man say "no" if I asked. But the trick is to notice and not wait to be asked. Years ago every man carried a handkerchief, and it was such a nice and protective measure for a man to offer one if you were crying or spilled something. It's all about taking care of others.
My father taught me all of these skills many years ago and I continue to do them. Once in a while some people will say "stop being so kind". But I have no intention of ever doing that. I'm very happy that you're passing this on as well because I do not see it with a lot of people these days. I was at a major annual event and there were some new people who didn't know anyone so I made it a point to introduce them around and also I've always been doing the handwritten letters of thank you as well as writing something unique to each person on a Christmas card. Yes I do send Christmas cards. Thank you so much I think your channel is wonderful and may you have continued success.
I have to remember that Aristotle quote, 'We are what we do'. Act like a Gentleman, You are a Gentleman no matter what life has, is and will throw at you.
All good suggestions. I enjoy composing and writing with my twenty dollar fountain pen. Letters are 'drawn' not just written. It is a little gift to those I appreciate. And it is uncommon.
Your notions on a gentleman behavior reminded me of my grandfather. He always had a assortment of alcohols and tobacco to offer guests despite not using either. Nor did my grandmother. They always dressed up when they had guests or went visiting friends or neighbors. They were a farming couple on the west coast of Finland.
I am a woman, but never miss your videos. Many of those little things can apply also to women when we are in certain situations, for example with elderly. Thank you !
1:53 Right now I work construction, one of the clients where we go the most right now they live next to a ruin of a house that we are renovating. It’s summer and here in Bulgaria temperatures are well above 30-35 in the shade, needless to say we often don’t get to work in the shade especially roofing gets VERY hot up there. Luckily these are kind people and most days they bring out a can with some water with taste and ice in. As tradesmen it isn’t often that this happenes but it’s very nice and I’ll tell you people like that make our day. If you ever have someone doing work at your house, be it: gardening, construction, renovation, cleaning… if you wanna make their day, a refreshing drink is the way to go. (Not in winter though lol)
@@D.B.Cooper13 we always bring our own thermos flask of coffee, I recently got my coworker a 1 litre flask. We like it when we get cold drinks in summer because we can’t really keep our drinks cold for long so if the clients bring out a cold drink that’s nice. In winter it doesn’t matter, we take our water and coffee but it’s always nice if the client is so thoughtful. In winter our job is okay, you can dress for the cold and i often work in a shirt when we’re doing hard work because anything more and I’m sweating. It’s summer that is the problem. I’m the sun it can go upwards of 40-45 degrees and especially doing very heavy work or roofing is nearly unbearable.
I appreciate getting a handwritten note from my son. The joy of recognizing his handwriting is sweet. When most communication is through other means, it is especially nice to receive a personally written note that reflects unique personality.
As an aspiring lady, always looking to refine my manners, I love your content and think so much of it applies to women as well. There is much to be said for being aware of the others around you and showing them kindness, compassion and respect.
45-year-old guy here. Only recently discovered your channel and I just want you to know that I find your insights genuinely valuable and refreshing. I see a lot of comments on here from other older folks praising you for talking about this stuff despite your young age, but I want you to know that’s not where I’m coming from. I just think you’re brilliant and thoughtful, regardless of age. Cheers and keep up the good work
I was happy to see you mentioned offering a drink to guests in your home including tradesmen. When I was a boy in the early 70s you ALWAYS offered tradesmen a drink. Unlike today, back then, with the rare exception of the few 7-11 stores there was no where for working men to use the restroom or grab a cold drink. There were gas stations, but if you’ve ever seen movies or television where they talk about how disgusting gas station bathrooms were, it was no joke. Too filthy to even piss on the floor.
His manner of speaking has become noticeably more refined and eloquent if you compare his earliest videos to his most recent. It’s really cool to watch somebody evolve so significantly
Thanks. May I suggest 2 more possibilities: Learn CPR and first aid- your clean handkerchief may need to be used as a bandage. The second - always avoid making women you don’t know uncomfortable by never walking directly behind them on an otherwise deserted street and not getting into an elevator together when it’s just the two of you. Wait for the next one.
Great video. I love writing notes. I have cranes stationery to, its really nice. And I always keep a handkerchief, usually two, when I am dressed up. I do everything you mentioned in this video. I really enjoyed this video, Jeff
It really hit Home when you were talking about not being a slob even when you’re home alone all day, as I often am as a remote employee. I must admit, I often times roll out of bed, make some coffee and open up my laptop, waiting until lunchtime to take a shower and actually get dressed. The times that I do get up early enough to do those things before work, I admit I feel more put together, more focused and more professional. I’m going to commit to doing that more often
Thanks James! You are helping people to become better men! I was brought up with good manners, you have helped me remember it all, I still let ladies go first and open doors for them, you forgot to offer your seat to a lady or elderly people, good luck to you, looking forward to more!!
Thanks for doing this - I show this to young entrepreneurs and business guys on important tips for men. Wish I was in London for your meet in Sept - but maybe in the future. Have fun!
I saw other videos talking about carrying a handkerchief and I started. I have used it to clean myself up, clean my glasses, and offered one to a woman who was in tears during a funeral. I am surprised how much I actually use it. I miss hand written letters. It made me look forward to when the mail came instead of bills, adverts, and political ads.
I always offer a drink, and it's the first thing I do. It's surprising how many people don't do this. Spot on with the written notes. Always dress well it's a sign of a quality person. Good manners cost nothing but are of the highest value. The offer to help others can be received with differences depending on opinion, but ask politely in a calm voice and most people except an offer to help.
I have written a close friend a thank you know using fine stationery and fountain pen. The only response was that it wasn't necessary. Don't let that attitude prevent you from doing it, though. It is still and excellent way to show your gratitude for a favor or gift.
Why did your video suddenly, and for no apparent reason, appear on my suggested watch list? I'm glad it did. I watched it and enjoyed it. Thank you. Excellent values and food for thought. You have another subscriber. Regards AF
i remember doing small things on bus rides to school like keeping my foot on a mothers stroller so it wouldnt roll away and she could remain seated or telling the driver to have a good weekend, stuff like that made me feel really good
Ive just entered my 60s and since a child have always carried a white cotton hankerchief with me. I drive my wife crazy by using it for everything from rubbing a mark off the car paintwork to mopping up red wine drips. The key is to keep replacing them on a regular basis...always fresh..always smart. Oh yes..and i do occasionally blow my nose on mine!! 😊
I went into a petrol station last week and as I approached the till there were two guys paying, then one woman quite far back looking at something on the shelf. As I was walking up I was thinking to myself, “nah she must be doing some shopping, I’ll just go in front”. So I went in front of her and waited, then as the guys were finishing up I noticed in my periphery that the lady turned from the shelf she was looking at and got in behind me. So immediately I said, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure if you were queuing, please go in front.” Well her and the cashier (female) were most taken back like this. Both exclaiming, “well I guess there are a few gentlemen left in this world!” I couldn’t believe they deemed that gentlemanly, it was just unequivocally the right thing to do. And one of the codes I live my life by is “do the right thing.”
That’s great. Understandably, women these days don’t want to be patronized, and some don’t subscribe to those old-fashioned gender stereotypes. At the same time, though, they almost always seem to appreciate a little bit of that good old chivalry when it’s offered sincerely
I work from home but yet still make sure I get properly dressed every day. Even if it’s just a pair of slacks and a Henley or a pullover, I never “go to work” in sweats or gym shorts. I call that the “mental commute.” Get up, brush my teeth, have a quick shave/beard trim, shower, get dressed.
I also work at home and I admit I’ve gotten a bit lazy as of late. Sometimes I wait until my lunch break to take a shower and get properly dressed. I need to get back into those good habits again
Never heard of you till about five minutes ago. Hit subscribe just because of your intro dialog, and then continued listening. Keep it up, and I'll look forward to seeing what else you have to share!
I was caring for my grandmother for years and she always had difficulty with the seatbelt, I learned to always help her into the vehicle and buckle her seatbelt and to open and close the door for her.
I’d love to do one in LA soon. Unfortunately I lose quite a bit of money doing events away from Chicago but I hope that won’t be an issue in the near future
I'm from Bangladesh where it's always scorching hot so carrying a handkerchief is always a life saver Pro Tip: Try to have 2 handkerchiefs One for your personal use and one for your lady friend Also make sure the fabric is Linen not Cotton Cotton becomes stinky and don't last very long after heavy use
My father always carried a white handkerchief of finely woven cotton. Bought a dozen at a time. After use, mother would soak them in light bleach solution, then wash & iron. Rotation helped their longevity. Linen is a great suggestion, too.
Thank you for the tips. Might I enquire about which fountain pen you personally use?I’m looking to collect the pens of people that I take inspiration from. Thanks in advance
Can you make a video on more classy elegant gym attire? I mean obviously i wouldn't wear a suit when exercising but i don't want to be stuck with t shirts and basketball shorts either.
They’re just going to get sweat all over them. Gym clothes serve their purpose. You can change out of them and back into your stylish threads after you’re done
Though my husband doesn't actually fasten my belt for me, he will not leave the driveway until he is assured I am buckled in. I love that he shows his caring for me this way. (also, he carries a handkerchief)
When at home I dress comfortably but in a manner that would not see me embarrassed to receive a guest or guests at my home. I tend to favour a mode of attire that some would consider "eccentric" for a western person. Fortunately it seems that such a style agrees with me. My sense of aesthetics and so, my style is largely Japanese and this is due to my long-time involvement in their arts, lifestyle and occupation. I do have some western clothing for certain formal occasions such weddings, funerals and business meetings but most of the time depending on the occasion I will be found in a Kimono, to suit the season, a Samue or a Gi. It may seem inconsistent or even lazy to some but I focus more on my daily personal conduct whether in my interactions with others or in my own more private routines... I have a different take on being a Gentleman
man i am surprised that people in the west don't use handkerchief , i am just 18 and i carry 2 handkerchiefs one for me and one for my girlfriend if she ever needs it and i cannot remember a day since my childhood that i haven't carried a handkerchief..................
two things are missing: if you walk through a door, stop, turn around and hold the door open for the person following you. don’t just go in and close behind you. the last thing: never call yourself a gentleman. others should call you like this.
Things are definitely more casual now, and some people are lacking in those areas… But this seems like an overly dramatic and pessimistic comment. Many people still take pride in their appearance and dress nicely, even if it’s not to the classic gentlemanly standards we might appreciate
You omitted one important factor in the discerning gentleman’s conduct; he’s the gentleman when he’s in the fortunate presence of a lady, and not just a woman. Given most modern women have become vulgar self-entitled chaos, such opportunities are golden. A gentleman’s chivalry is earned and rightly selective.
How exactly have I to imagine the „helping a woman with her seatbelt?“ Do I wait at the door until she sits down and then lean over her like a parent with their child or do I help her while I already sit on my seat?
Good sir, could you please give some advices dedicated to gentleman farmers? How can you stay distinguished when working hard in the garden, the yard or on a piece of mechanic?
When you cause a woman to burst into tears or you throw a drink on her in anger, having a handkerchief at the ready is the perfect move to make sure she remembers you as a true gentlemen despite all the negativity energy & drama
@@mosytube fair enough. It certainly falls into a gray area and depends on local culture. Where I’m from it could considered rude to not accept a gift for any reason. Denying it once might be fine but any more and it’s rude.
I like most of these. I have to protest to an extent on fastening others seatbelts and picking up items. Fastening another persons seatbelt can be taken as infantalizing. Very similarly, picking up another's dropped item can be seen as infantalizing depending on context. What the item is, age of person, etc. I also don't think gender/sex of person should matter. Just be kind and pick up an item as long as it helps the other person without getting in their way.
As a member of Generation X, although I know how to write a letter, it just is not practical. My social circle is small and I see them regularly. So there would be nothing to write about. I do not see my parents regularly but do call them at least twice a month. That said I am careful about how I text or email. I do disagree ith you on the handkerchief part. You are not always going to have immediate access to tissue like in a movie theater. A compromise between what you stated and I pointed out is to carry two handkerchiefs. One to lend to others and the other for yourself. Be sure to have a way to keep those two separated.
I like how those tips would really make you a gentleman, but I feel that everyone, women included, could benefit from those. At the end of the day, there's no reason to not being a kinder person, regardless of being a gentleman or a street rapper
