The Core Belief can more accurately be a: *Fear Idea* that emerged through a negative experience or series of negative experiences and they may be chapter or "at that time" situational, and we carry them while retreating from situations where we feel we may be threatened to deal with them as a reality, thus the pick up fear weight. It not what hat transpired but what you *think* may transpire. Another reason *we need to truly understand the concept of the "Law of Attraction" and take charge of our Thoughts,* use Conscious Application of Thoughts, and reach for the Higher Minded position rather than the Ego Mind reacting and judging self and others. (Bam!) Now, that's a good point relivant scenario statement. 😉
...and " being a failure" has got to be the #1 Core Belief. Fear - the method by which all can be manipulated and controlled. How this begs for knowledge of the "Universal Law of Attraction" *Thoughts Create Reality* Period! An absolute reality. And everybody going the hard way around the world when all they need to do is learn this law and Master their thoughts.
that i was a loser and that i would not be able to take care of myself and hence a family. Its funny because I used that ladder technique it was amazing. It was like the ishikawa fish diagram for my thinking. I went down the ladder its like finding the root. then i ask if im a loser is true what does that mean? and i couldn't answers directly? I thought Ive spent so much time trying not to be a "loser." but then i ask what is a loser? what does that mean? so then i was like wait ive been running from something undefined so i decided to redefine it how i wanted and said a loser is someone who does whatever the want and is a free spirit. as soon as i said that my whole emotional demeanor, that tightness in my chest was gone and i saw the day brighten like there was a purpose there was hope. there was a future. thank you i am going to practice these technique. please help more about them . thank you.
This is not a therapist I would ever want treating me. She has a lot of insecurities and not comfortable with who she is. In fact she doesn’t even know who she is. She will never attract the right man. Plus she is anorexic. There’s a lot more but I’ll stop here.
I'm with you, because sometimes I doubt myself like how am I suppose to have a session professionally when I don't know what its like at all. Not much channels post about this.
And I actually feel the opposite , and it makes me angry. How a person who has never felt something can even try to play a role. Unless all his lines are from a real case, the whole video makes no sense to me
@@VaskaElGato Do you personally know this man? Do you know its BS and he has never felt something? No? Then shut up. Maybe go get therapy for being vile.
COCK AND BALL TORTURE From Wikipedia the free encyclopedia at en.wikipedia..org/wiki/Cock_and_ball_torture Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving the application of pain or construction of the male genitals this may involve directly painful activity’s such as wax play , genital spanking , ball busting , erotic electro stimulation and even kicking The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism or the knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sidistic dominant electrostimulation applied on a penis Contents Section 1 in pornography Section 2 ball stretcher Section 3 parachute Section 4 humbler Section 5 testicle cuff SECTION 1 In pornography In addition to its occasional role is BDSM pornography Tomakeri (lit. Ball kicking) is a separate genre in japan One notable actresses in tamakeri is Erika Nagai Who uses her martial arts skills to kick men in the testicles SECTION 2 Ball stretcher A ball stretcher is a sex toy that is fastened around a man in order to elongate the scrotum and provide a feeling of weight pulling the testicles away from the body
I kept my mouth shut in my very first CBT session 😂. As a stubborn teenager I didn't want to express my feelings in front of a stranger even she's my psychologist. My psychologist became friendly, loving, kind and understandable, So as I was comfortable, I started revealing everything to her in my 3rd session. I just want to say my psychologist thank you for being patient with me and having my back each and every time. She's such a good & truthful friend of mine today.
It's perfectly normal. As counselors we also have therapy sessions with classmates throughout graduate school. It is not easy in that first session, because you feel exposed. You are not the only one.
you were lucky. Where I live they're busy, so even after the expensive payment (because gov. ones are way more busy) they just ask couple questions and say: "hımm you need more meds", "you need to masturbate more" or "you need to get a gf". Then post you out the door Turns out gov. mandated ones were still better then private ones. Even though they don't have time, they still care
Being a teenager is extremely hard, and opening up to anyone is extremely difficult when you’ve gone from one abusive parent’s house to the other. Only in writing this message do I feel like I’m beginning to understand where the suicidal thoughts come from. At 14, I absconded with my dad’s car and drove across the country searching for my sanctuary - rather than commit suicide. I ran into trouble after two weeks on the run. Then I had to go back to the hell holes. I guess my survival strategy from that point forward was to shut down.
omg yess. I had a zoom counseling session and I cried through the whole thing. the worst thing is that it was just audio so I didn't see my therapist so I imagined her waiting for me to finish my whale cry like 🙂
I love how his entire demeanor shifted as he started getting deeper into his core belief. His body language closed up; folded arms and legs. Great work!
Brother, you are safe and never alone. Love exists and you are worthy of it. I love you, you love you (if you just let yourself feel it), and God loves you (if you're comfortable with that sort of thing---if not, sorry I brought it into this).
Thanks for speaking out. It's attractive and encouraging to see a good looking man admit that because it shows that you strive to be a strong provider and person un the support role while also having the depth of self reflection to admit your needs and fears. I'm so sorry if you were hurt before, no one deserves to have their vulnerability neglected or attacked. I hope you find opportunities to see that you can be loved and cherished and vulnerable all at once.
From the 3rd sentence he spoke after starting the mock session is where I thought “ohhhh it’s no longer mock, my friend” Too much emotion in his words and I don’t know if he’s that good at acting or emotional improv. If he is he needs an Oscar.
For sure. I remember learning about how simply defending and/or pretending to believe a principle, opinion, or personality you will actually start to adopt that as part of you, or at least channel a truth about yourself.
I’ve just discovered this thanks to this RU-vid channel. I’m a single parent who cannot afford therapy, and I have noticed behavioral patterns in my daughter that I exhibited as a child so now I’m obsessively researching how to heal so I don’t create another miserable “me”. Thank you!!!
You’re going to do a good job don’t worry. This isn’t hard work, only to cluster b idiots. You’re just basically revisiting yourself, revisioning yourself , and resetting yourself.
You are so brave in writing about what worries you. I developed depression from age 9 and also anxiety partly because of the Autism I was born with. I found out years later I'd been ill with depression and was so devastated it took me several months to actually tell my family about it. Then several years later I suspected Autism and then got diagnosed with it 3 years later, as the waiting list was very long. It took me about 4 years to get to understand myself after the ASD diagnosis. But I feel better now. I'm not really the person I used to be because I'm no longer suffering with the awful confusion and brain fog etc that being unaware of the ASD and depression caused me, and those nasty people who like to bully and take advantage (who were attracted to my vulnerability) have actually vanished. I rarely sink and become more vulnerable now and am able to tell people "keep your distance from me" and "watch your manners towards me", and I could never confront people many years ago. It's an astonishing difference now compared to 20 years ago. It helped me to do some research on the unconscious mind and how it behaves. If you've had any particularly bad experiences you could attempt to do CBT on your own - it's creating a script of the entire event from minutes before it happened to minutes after it finishes, and you talk through it in the most detailed way possible. (This is what my CBT therapist did with me, and he would interrupt me at least several times during my story-telling and ask me "what feelings are you experiencing at this point?", and he would also ask me about bright lights, noise in the background, and what I felt in my body. My CBT therapist told me that this therapy makes you face the event and think about every part of it in order for your mind to finally process it. CBT tends to be used for single traumatic events such as assault, witnessing something horrendous, bad car accidents, sexual abuse etc. Once the trauma memory has been worked through, it will likely become unstuck which is a good thing. It takes time but once "processed" in the mind that trauma memory becomes less powerful and the mind will slowly stop going over and over it.) It depends on why you need therapy but there's definitely a way to recover on your own after several horrific events I've experienced myself. There's a book called The Body Keeps the Score by a famous therapist who is from Europe. It's fantastic and I'd recommend it.
I'm a clinical psychologist. I love how she can empathize and validate her client, as well as challenge irrational thoughts with behavioral experiment. That's really good and on point.
As a guy, I think she should dress more conservatively because her skimpy outfit with so much bare skin and legs on display would be a distraction from the session for a lot of guys. But maybe she dressed that way for clicks and views on the video, which isn't unusual these days I guess. Not criticizing her looks, she's attractive. I just feel she's dressed inappropriately for the situation.
I've learned more in this 23 min video than I have in the past three years of therapy. The way CBT is described in this video is unreal. I have struggled with this concept for many years and not one therapist has explained it so well the way Dr. Judy has.
@@ecem8546 to be clear there is a lot more to CBT than this one technique. The science of addressing cognitive distortions and behavioral patterns as a way to change emotions is broad and constantly evolving and growing
I have the same core belief of feeling unloved and unworthy. Today, I will take the steps to transform my mind from negative thoughts to more positive ones.
Same! I feel you, I was diagnosed with ADHD when i was 8 years old and luckily, since my mom is a neuropediatrician, she was comprehensive and made me understand that I was clever and ADHD didn't mean I was less capable. It's still hard especially now that I'm entering higher studies, and I have to rely a lot on self-discipline, which is not really my strength. But just remember that you are perfectly capable! You're intelligent, you're creative, and just because you are a fish that can't climb a tree, doesn't mean you're worthless. You can do this, you've got this!
Saratc my mom is a pharmacist. All I ever got was meds and after fucking up for the last straw in my first relationship sabotaging the whole thing and the way I reacted. I said enough. No therapist she sent me too worked and she refused life coaches or relationship coaches earlier in my life. Sooooo now I put a team around me. I spent around 9000$ of my own money with relationship coaches over 6 months and my god if I only had them as a younger adult..... life would have been different
You are not useless, use your ADHD as a positive, I bet you’re never bored? You have a great imagination, you’re creative, use the talents you have and build on them. Don’t fight adhd or overthink it, it’s only a small part of you and doesn’t define everything about you. Good luck.
I saw the whole thing!!! I loved it!!! My core belief was “I’m unlovable” and “there is something wrong about me” thank God for therapy ☺️ I learned I just needed to find the right people that actually loved me for who I am and not the ones that only used me to fulfill their needs.
You can´t choose your coworkers and family members though. You can cut off the toxic family members to some degree, you can technically become homeless living in the woods to avoid bullying at workplace... but this is not the solution the most of people would go for.
Just help people; there's loads that need help, people, cat shelters, dog shelters etc you'll feel loved because you love others and care. It works believe me.😍
This helps a lot. I just figured out that I was in denial that my core belief is feeling unlovable and worthless, I keep attracting people in my life that treats me low and I would always try to keep them above me even though I know I am better than them, I dont want them feeling less than me which results to me feeling less too, I know its not right but I can’t help myself doing it.
My core belief was "When I Marry, I am to be Married for Life" - Divorce will hurt my children. A Toxic Marriage meant I am a failure. My Psychologist challenged my belief and helped me to realise that my marriage was already over, whether I stayed or not. I also realised that I was teaching my son that it is OK for a man to emotionally abuse his wife, and there are no consequences to his actions. I had not thought of that. I am now alone & enjoying my life.
It has been a year since you commented, but I just wanted to congratulate you and let you know that your words really made me tear up. I've experienced my mother's separation from my stepfather, and it was a really difficult time for me. However, as you mentioned, teaching children that it’s okay for a man to emotionally abuse his wife should never be normalized. Kudos to you!
Well, I had an abusive dad all my life and wondered why mom never left. As I grew up I understood it was because she didn't trust her parents and didn't have any place to go. She left home at 50. I'm actually happy for her. She looks much happier and healthier since then. Divorce may seem like a negative situation, because breaking up is hard and negative I suppose. But leaving with someone you don't want and tolerating them your whole life is harder and worse of a situation. I hope you find your own path you can enjoy now that you're alone
What is wrong with her wanting "to marry and be happy for life"? Is it better to want "to marry and be abused"? And her new core belief is " I am just a 100% innocent, helpless victim of toxic masculinity." Maybe there was a good reason why you had not thought of putting all the blame on your partner at first.
I watched the entire session. This is extremely helpful. One of my core beliefs is that I cant ever lean on anyone else as a safe space when I am falling apart. I always have to be the strong one that pulls up my boots straps and keeps on going.
@@sazaydehmed9819 this is reality, however, if I ever want to achieve depth in my marriage specifically, I have to learn to allow myself to lean into my husband when I'm a mess. Knowing full well that he may not be able to handle me. But that (based on my spiritual life) God has him and me ultimately. I also believe that no one else around me is as strong as I am. (Pride much?! Lol) So that ego gets in the way for me a lot.
Oh I noticed too, not by the arm crossing but by the words. I thought the arm crossing was premeditated for the role play, but who knows?! At the begining I was like, nothing is an accident, waiting for the moment where He was gonna get projected, but I got projected myself AND started crying lol.
EXACTLY... I thought the same thing... watching his movements I for one.. thought this video was great because it DID turn into a real CBT Session. I totally connected with these two GREAT people. I Teach NLP/Hypnotherapy and I am wanting to incorporate CBT in my sessions I already do... but I want more...
I grew up with unloving parents and severe social anxiety disorder. I never had the benefit of a CBT Therapist and I had core beliefs about being stupid, being uncapable, and being unloved (not necessarily unlovable because I had hope). Over a period of 3 adult decades, I did my own experiments. I learned the art of "acting" so I could model the behavior of others without believing it was really "me" taking the risks. My attitude was, "It's scary as hell, but you have nothing to lose by taking risks and everything to lose by staying stuck." So I learned to "act." I got so good at it that I learned to love public speaking and I held absolutely nothing back in my love relationships. I got hurt a few times but realized that it didn't kill me and the potential payoff was incredible. Now I'm in grad school to become a Marriage & Family Therapist and have the best marriage I've ever seen! I've studied CBT and other modalities from textbooks and, at times, used it on myself. It's POWERFUL!
Core belief/hidden fear: that my family doesn’t really love me. They only love me so long as I make their lives easier and do things the way they like.
Yep My Family ONLY Uses me 2 Do Work For them. I get No Pay & Am Excluded From Everything Except When Im Needed 2 Do Things. I Feel Very Hurt, USED, & UNLOVED. Im Cutting ALL TIES & Blocking Ph#’s. Im Old Enough 2 Know When I’m Being USED, & Lied 2 & Taken Advantage Of. No MORE of Them Taking My KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS. I Am NOT WORTHLESS. I ❤️ ME👍😊
Candy Shier Dear One, I would like to suggest you tell them how you feel before you cut all ties. Their response may surprise you, and you would miss out on finding out they never wanted you to feel that way, and they really love you. This said Unless they are total Narcissists, and if they are, I want to encourage you to cut ties, at least for a while. Narcissistic people are so toxic, you may need to cut ties permanently, but check them out, if they aren’t. Either way you will have the truth come out. That’s healing to know. Bless you.
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.
My current therapist and I talked about core values because I was going through a bit of an identity crisis. Knowing my core values TRULY helped ground myself in my own identity. Mine were Ethicality, Personal Growth, Open-mindedness, Intelligence, and Humility.
It's beautiful the way to explain.... Can you please continue this session with another technique u ll use with in this same context so that it's relatable n give us more understanding in this context
what I really loved about this video was the question “if that was true what would that mean” wow, you can dive deep into ANY kind of thought. Thank you guys !
I too watched the entire session and it had me in tears mainly because this is my core belief. You loss parts of your soul the longer this goes unchecked. Unfortunately many therapists are not as in tuned with helping you get out of therapy. I loved this because you saw the steps and now know what to expect with this type of therapy. I too think more mock therapy session will be helpful. Thank you for being here.
For myself, to be ‘tolerated’ is a life gift and a pretty good start for anyone.....I don’t particularly care whether I am liked or even loved by others. Over the centuries millions of communities globally have not been ‘tolerated by dominant others and were wiped out. Toleration is a gift.
I've been going to CBT for approx. 3 months, and I must say, most of the time I was talking, she was okay, but she never asked me that kind of questions like here in the mock session. I got some homework to do, like writing down negative thoughts and how did I replace them... It felt better for a time but then I got to think It was not really helping me, I'm helping myself because of all the study I do in my own time. I'm changing my therapist! Thank you so much for this, I got my belief in CBT back.
Core belief: I won't be cared for fully or good enough unless I do everything I can and have achieved what I set out. In other words if i'm not super productive and super accomplishing I'm not good enough and won't be respected enough. I don't let myself be super productive because I burn out and hit mental health issues but it's still in the back of my mind.
I know this may sound weird heard from a stranger but i swear your worth isnt established by your looks. My girlfriend has an ed and has been struggling a lot with body dysmorphia in the last year and it breaks my heart to see her feel bad about herself due to things that are completely normal (she thinks her belly gets too big when she eats). She's beautiful and is really really nice and kind, she's one of the best people I've ever met and its not because she looks in a certain way but because thats what she is, she's a nice person. So please, dont think your value is decided by your looks, whether you look good or not, wear cool clothes or not, have a cool attitude or not, some people will like you and some wont but they wont choose over your appearance, and if they do they're just not the right people for you. I hope this helps
One of my core beliefs is that "I'm too much". After a lot of therapy, I learned that was what my covert narc mom used to say to me as a kid when I complained about her treatment of me. These core beliefs are often the internalized voices of our caregivers or messages we got in society.
I've had dozens of CBT-sessions/therapists. None were like this. They all ever just listened and said "oh, that's bad" or "oh, that makes sense", and that was it. Talking to my wall was more productive and reflective.
@@josephinesipple6956 All that therapy is a pity party, and these psych experts are making a financial killing off weak minded people. It's a religion... you don't need it.
I'm a counseling student and this session blew me away. CBT has always been a favorite method of mine but I've never seen it used like this. Nevermind the fact that the patient literally spoke my own core belief. I felt like this was me being put the CBT. Loved it!
I have returned to watch this entire session again, one year later 25 FEB 2023. I have now completed the courses to my masters of arts in counselling psyc and waiting to start practicum. This is where the theoretical training gets put into practice. MedCircle is definitely a favourite channel of mine! Feeling unworthy, not good enough, is pervasive across clients and is familiar to me, as well. This link has relevant content. Thank you.
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.
Wow that was real session. When he was acting like a patient he was tense and still. And right after he changed his role as an interviewer he started to talk by using his hand too. He looked more relaxed. By the way, thank you. It really helps me a lot.
I watched the whole session and as a second year PsyD student it’s so insightful to actually see the practice in action rather than know the theory behind it. I will admit I felt attacked once the core belief in the video was shown as I identified I had the same one. I feel useless and worthless and that tracends into other areas of my life in different degrees with many overcompensating behaviors so nobody realizes I actually don’t know what I’m doing.
Watched the whole session. So insightful. I’ve seen around 5 therapists in my life and I’ve never had a session like this. There needs to be more therapists like Dr. Judy and Dr. Ramani!
"Constantly making sure people are happy about our interactions" - totally relate!! thank you so much for your courage and honesty. this 'mock' session hit home in many ways.
My core belief is no one truly loves me. My father passed away when I was 10 years old and my stepfather physically abused me and my siblings until I decided to run away at 19 it was then when I decided to seek professional help and was diagnosed with BPD. The diagnosis helped me understand my mental state better but all the abuse was so overwhelming it’s sometimes hard to believe I am truly loved. Because If I was truly loved then why did the people who we’re supposed to protect me, hurt me the most. But now that I am 25 years old I have managed to view my past as something that just happened. It’s not me, he was just a bad man, who did a bad thing. I was just a victim of the circumstance and that has tremendously impacted my thinking on my past. I now can accept the love from those around me in my present without letting my past destroy all future hopes of finding love within myself and others. ❤❤❤
This turned into an actual session for me because those are my exact feelings and MY CORE beliefs and struggles. I am currently dealing with the ending of a long time and very deep relationship. Truly needed this
One of my core believes is definitely I’m a failure like this mock-up did. Not smart, dating untruthfully to my self, always making sure that everybody have a good experience with me. This was me in a nutshell 🙈 love this🙏🏼
I watched the whole session to try to understand CBT and other modalities better, and I feel so much clearer on CBT now. Thanks for all you do! One of my core beliefs is that I will always be poor, but just thinking through this process you two just showed us is already helping me gather evidence that challenges that. Thanks for your work here!
Watched the whole thing and showed the abnormal psychology classes I teach. This channel has been a godsend for teaching remotely this past school year. The doctor's knowledge and ability to explain so well to their audience has been such an inspiration to me. And Kyle is such an amazing host and interviewer. This channel has been a life-changer.
One of my core beliefs is what you worked on! That I’m worthless, and I always put others first and take care of everyone around me to prove my worth. I feel people wouldn’t be around me if I didn’t do this. I’ve done a lot of work being ok if people are unhappy that I’m not fixing everything for them. I love myself even if no one else did I have my deep love for myself now.
Inherently? What makes you inherently bad? Are you referring to psychopathy and that you’re putting up a charming facade to give the illusion of normalcy? Or if you mean something else do let me know :)
@@iworshipgaysandsatan6822 I think she means something along the lines of having unreachable standards for herself, her behaviour and her actions which make her feel like a worthless (/bad) person continuously. But that's just my assumption naturally.
I felt like this. We probably have different issues from each other but I had felt like that for almost of my teenage and adult years. I was not making the best decision, and lying a lot, not to lie but to not hurt ppl as I was trying to find what made me happy. Then one day I realized my life felt too complicated from the decisions I had made, almost like I was living a double life. I remember stepping into my first therapy session and telling my therapist I’m just so tired of the way I am, I just want to stop feeling like I have a double life and have my life feel simple. I had carried a lot of guilt from all the ppl I had hurt or let down, and guilt because I decided to live my life differently then how my very strict catholic parents had tried to raise me. All I can say is things can get better, you may relapse every now and then and have moments when you feel like your old self...but the days where you feel the progress you made push you forward. Best of luck!
lechatnoir inherently makes the suggestion that it’s ingrained in them, I hope they try to use different language to boost their self image, most peoples ‘bad’ qualities can change and I think a good start is by looking at the language we use to define ourselves. Most people have bad habits and bad coping mechanisms/behaviours etc. But they do not make us inherently ‘bad’ people :)
I would use the same words to describe how I have felt at my lowest. The best way to explain how this felt ...I guess how Patrick Bateman in American Psycho felt.
Watched the entire video. The core belief demonstrated in this video is something I'm actually dealing with. Growing up gay in an homophobic environment, created the core belief that no one will ever love me for me. even after initially getting to a different environment the feeling of not being worthy of love still stuck. Seeing this video and watching Dr. Judy Ho navigating the thoughts of the "patient" really help me discover things about the way I see things. Thanks for the video!
This was an awesome CBT session. I liked the laddering and how Dr Judy asked to identify some “ core beliefs”. Then she gave you homework to bring back for next session! She is obviously a good therapist! The key is to find a good therapist that can effectively take you thru CBT to heal the subconscious and conscious minds and behaviors in the present!! Thank you do much Dr Judy!!🌺😊
I can relate with this video 100%. I'm going through my 3rd major break up at 34 yo, and this time was totally my fault because my traumas I was behaving as a man child. I don't specifically think that I will die alone as people really liked/loved me in the past and some others will do again. Now I'm pretty sure that there are techniques and tools that will help me cope and become the type of man I feel proud of to be, and with effort, patience and time, I will do better and nurture better relationships in the future.
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.
Thank you so much for this mock therapy session. Going to therapy can feel like walking into a room blindfolded. It’s difficult to know what to say to get the right kind of help, especially when there are so many things to address, and at the same time trying not to beat around the bush. I believe this type of session would have taken months even years of therapy to get to this point where these two therapists did in 20 min. So thank you.
My core belief is that no matter how great my significant other may be, that I won’t be mentally prepared to push them forward or be able to match their energy in all aspects of life and be there for them or bring them down to my level. Watching this video helped alot with how I feel about my situation.
I just found you and I watched the entire session. This was amazing. My therapist doesn't do anything like this... My Core Belief is that "I am not worthy" and I don't think I realized that until today. And now that I'm thinking about it... I am remembering the hundreds of interactions I have had with people my entire life where this has been a thing.
I just watched this entire session and as a counseling intern, I found this to be very helpful in understanding how to execute this approach conducted by the therapist and listen to the benefits from the patient.
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! A core belief for me is definitely that i have to continuously prove myself, get validation about what I am doing...Stems from childhood trauma and I am working on it! Thank you guys for all the work you do! I am currently completing my Masters in Counseling and i can only hope to help people the way you all do! Thank you
I am already in therapy for my bpd, and this whole video was quite an eye opener. Its been 3years of my current relationship & I am often in conflicts and arguments, and all other crap towards my BF. Most common topic is, you dont love me, else you have done this for me ! Its super negative and now I realized that I was driven by my core belief even at the age of 31, that I didnt believe I am lovable. Very damaging towards myself & other people. If someone like me, and especially BPD people, dont work & heal our core beliefs, no matter what our partner does for us, its never going to make us happy. Gonna make a poster out of this haha. Thank you so much, Kyle and Judy for this presentation
I watched the whole thing. I was brought here by a co worker who I opened up to about my anxiety and she recommended I watch about CBT, I’ve got a core belief that no matter what I do at work or in a relationship it’s always wrong, and I also believe the I need to take care of others before myself
Thank you, this was an amazing process through which I learned my first core belief is “I’m unlovable, if my own mother didn’t love me why would anyone?” Over and over throughout my life.
Truly amazing. My core belief is my excuses that I use for failure. I'm finishing my psychology degree and this video really teaches newer clinicians a great example of therapy. Keep it going
I watched the whole interview. I believe my core belief is that I'm worthless/everyone is going to leave me. I suffer from borderline personality disorder and watch alot of your interviews. Very helpful contact and very much appreciated ☺️
Watched this whole session. I grew up with a narcissistic / borderline mother and have a core unlovable belief that has led me to choose unsafe and unloving people to be around. The 'full circle' of seeing where Dr. Ho was going with the experiments and how this breaks down this core belief was super helpful!
Core belief: ive lost myself, have no purpose and am failing at all things life. Also, I cant maintain friendships because I expect people to give as much as me and they dont.
I like to develop a behavioral stepladder with my clients to challenge negative predictions they may have in a gradual way. Starting with lower anxiety or fear provoking tasks and working up as they build confidence in their ability to cope and challenge those assumptions.
This was amazing! I am a clinical psychologist and this was such a great demo!! I loved the idea that core beliefs are not necessarily believed but are a fear with rules attached. Such great and nuanced work!
Watched the whole thing and loved it! As a military veteran with PTSD and social work student, it made me realize some things about myself. Totally loved it and even emailed my counselor with the link so we can hopefully discuss this. Thank you!
Huge props to Kyle for putting himself out there. Kyle, thousands will see this conversation as a role-model of how opening up about your concerns is normal, leads to insights, solutions, and ultimately feeling better. That's huge role-model work! Thank you! For all the students watching: The pivotal moment in the video was with the question at 5:50. That was overwhelming which was demonstrated with Kyle immediately closing himself off with his arms - a protection mode which he then didn't drop until the very end of the talk, when he finally had relief through "stopping being a patient now", like he said. It's really hard to watch that Judy went on after that crucial feedback from Kyle, completely unphased. Unloading to him a packed lecture about the intricacies of the CBT "technology", while he was sitting there basically silently screaming for help, just having exposed himself significantly. The body of the person will always tell you the most. When the person is closed off, that's too much for them. It's protection mode. Back off. Go easy. No teaching or therapy can be done then. What Kyle did after that was literally muscling through the whole thing, DESPITE Judy's 10.000 word speed lecture, not thanks to it. You can also follow Kyle's significant droop of energy throughout the conversation, which began right when he closed himself off. His face looked more and more exhausted, as he literally flexes and struggles to follow the speed lecture (while closed off the WHOLE time). That's the proof of his suffering. Even if he said "no, no, guys, I can do it, I can". There's no need to torture the client. His energy and body shift again when he "drops the patient role" at 20:20. He finally experiences relief because it's OVER. Do you follow? The whole props go to Kyle. He really survived this whole ordeal of anxiousness for 20 minutes, while having to flex his mind in that state to follow the completely unphased speed lecture of Judy while literally suffering, and connecting all the dots by himself in the end. What Judy COULD have done is recognize that Kyle had had too much at 5:50, and then to RESPOND ADEQUATELY. Wind down the unstoppable talking, while Kyle struggles to follow, and correct the approach. Recognize the new feelings and experience. Change the tone. Ease in. Slow down. AS LONG AS IT'S NECESSARY. And you'll get the green light again FROM THE CLIENT. Not from yourself deciding you'll bulldozer through and unload the lecture to a struggling client. At 5:50 she could have literally said "Kyle thank you for opening up, if this is too much for you, we don't have to continue." And if they stopped, it would have been legitimate! If he said let's go on, ease him in until he shows signs that he's ok - which you will see by looking at his body. THEN you can go on. You can also completely ignore all of that, which we call putting insane pressure on the client. For them to deal with by themselves. Folks, this is the client doing the work. Do you see how much energy he spent by himself? Look at his face and body. The therapist should protect the client from that, not ignore it. If a person didn't come back to therapy after something like this, it's literally because they don't want to suffer by themselves for 20 mins or an hour! Not because "they're not ready to do what it takes, I knew it! They all quit easily!". It doesn't have to "take that". Kyle saved this one. Huge props.
I'm just surprised I haven't seen more responses here to your observations. I did notice his closing off at that point, ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-8-2WQF3SWwo.html and it didn't seem acted, it felt real. So I believe there's a strong possibility that he actually feels this core belief. I've experienced the same thing in many of my therapy sessions, where I am pushing through and struggling to maintain some kind of equilibrium and process all the ideas being talked about, while in this struggling state of mind. I have also had my therapist put on the brakes and walk me through recentering and coming back to the present. Some trauma gets triggered sometimes.
As a therapist, I enjoyed this session and learning the ladder technique and about the experiential homework assignments. I also agree with pretty much everything you discussed about the subject. In my experience it seems many people struggle with the fear of being unlovable &/or unworthy, and I found your role play to be spot on with the issues and feelings that affect their lives. Thank you for these helpful tools.
Med Circle, you are saving my social work intern behind this year! I am learning how to apply CBT with all of my clients and these mock sessions help a lot. My core belief: I am worried I won't be a good enough therapist after graduation
I've had clients who are kind of afraid of their first therapy session. This video is great because it'll help them to know what to expect. Thank you for making this. ❣
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Wow in just this example I got teary eyes and called my wife to tell her I’m going to look more into cbt because I feel like I have her fooled and I’m not who she thinks I am and that I’m not really worthy of her love. I actually realized I have a lot of work to do. I’m hopeful in finding a local cbt specialist to do some work. Thank you
dunno where I heard this "Faiure is not the end, it is a necessary part of the journey" Steve Jobs was kicked out of his own company and he took it back and fired all the people who voted against him. Best example I have.