@Natasha Williams ???? I'm not against the color she's wearing in fact she's beautiful in that color, but the mentality the minset that she's bringing on this debate it's so degrading and pitiful. I don't see in any single way that she can build the sound and loving relationship of any kind let alone a marriage with that type of completely abhorrent Behavior. Getting married is about complimenting each other it's not about selfishness it's not about always thinking about yourself. if you want to do that don't get married because it doesn't mean anything. at some point you have to rely on your spouse on your other half to build something.
@Natasha Williams to the contrary my dear I was 100% on point. Did you ask yourself why is she still single with no kids by the way she is 44. Look this is nonsense, if you listen again. the other two ladies have a different view. one is married, the other one is much younger and she's actively looking (she's going to find someone very soon). Her behavior will never attract any men for at all for a lifetime commitment, you don't catch bees with vinaigre. She doesn't realize that, she's not getting younger and she's acting like she is 22 or 23. rule number 1 in marriage your happiness come through the happiness of your partner. This is a key for every successful marriage. The problem here is she has been focusing on her career as a key for her happiness now she is 44 and alone. she even admitted life is really hard when you are single. but I guess she needs to justify the life style she chose. but trust me out of 10 women, at least six or seven will choose to have a good husband a good relationship compared to a carrier. this is the reality because it always comes down to being able to rely on your better half either that or you can justify your singleness through your career or any nonsense excuse. Today people are so fake. They Just don't want to tell the truth this is not a good Behavior listen to the other two women and you will understand that they don't really agree with that behavior. because they know that building a relationship will come with a lot of compromise and that's just a fact. she's not looking for a husband or for a partner. she's just looking for a slave, who is going to bow to her and accept everything she wants this is not how things work . I'm sorry but marriage doesn't work that way.
This panel is a HELL YES! Especially the lady in orange and Dr. Vee. Okay Uncle Steve lmaooo Many women tend to put other people before themselves and that needs to stop.
Oh well you need to find the right kinda love honey, many will pay your bills. Not to say you should stay with anyone for money but the financial support is great
Fenny Yah Taylor no, its but your Bill's will never get you to the next level. Love will deflect, protect and be selfless. Bill's always give you a bird eye view of "self". If your focused on self, you can't be focused on someone else. Take it from a black man that has learned, and then found my wife of 20 years. Peace sis..
T C it works both ways. There are women who you can tell hey I have to work tonight, or study, and she takes offense to it, because she feels you should drop it to be with her, because she wants your attention, and etc. basically what I came to understand late in life is men and women who have dreams they are setting in motion should be the ones to be with each other when young rather than wait till later in life, because they understand the end game. Some men and women don’t care about that , and just want to be in love and in a relationship. So as Carrie mentioned the one caveat is someone who would support you, not someone who is attempting to stop you, because they want to go out, or just sit at home with you, rather than work hard now and play later.
Why end a relationship for a career and you don’t have to end the career either. Just support each other and build with the person. You don’t have to reach your goals alone! If you have someone who loves you don’t you drop that person might be hard to find them once you’re all successful.
@@dontaycox1472 She's not letting money be the compass of it; she's just saying don't give up one for the other. Have someone on your side for support and try to balance it out with all of your effort.
@@dontaycox1472 I get what you're saying, but she's not trying to make it sound like that money is a DESIRE. Everyone, including her, knows for a fact that it's a necessity. And money is NOT the ONLY thing keeping us alive; ever heard of this thing called AIR? And why are you just randomly throwing the word "humans" around so much like you're a misanthropist? Because I know TRUE misanthropic people, and just based off of your logic I can easily tell that you're not one of them.
No one on their deathbed ever wished they'd spent more time at the office. Real joy in life comes from love and relationships. Careers are the means to an end - to allow you have more time for your partner, spouse, family. If you spend your 20s and 30s married to your career, then when you decide to start really looking for a spouse, you may be disappointed to find that so many of the good ones are already taken and married. You need to find balance between love and a career. Find someone who supports you and your career goals, and someone that you also support.
Rosa so the question is, when does career > love change to love < career? Bc you’re gonna be in a relationship before you get married, so when does the shift happen?
+VONiiE8 that's a good question. personally, I don't claim a man to be mine forever until he puts a ring on it aka until we are married. once, we are married, then I know we in this thang forever. I am reassured he ain't going nowhere.thats when I put him and his needs before every thing. briefly, the shift happens after the ring. lol
Men would choose money to get a Kim K type of glam woman, so believe you me - always choose the money, because when you lose your youthful looks, only your money would keep a man :DDDD
Steve, why do you say that no man has the value of a woman? I can’t imagine telling my son that he isn’t as wonderful or as valuable as his sister. It’s reverse sexism in my opinion. Men and women, boys and girls, PEOPLE are fascinating and valuable and everyone has something to offer. Both men and women should ‘fix’ themselves to be great for themselves and for their partners.
I'm with you Kimberly. Like a man is not worth anything. I have given myself and thought for a lot of years that I had the one only to fall flat on my face. both parties have to be of value to each other. I don't look at any woman as a prize or a trophy. All you want is to be treated with respect and that you are met halfway and both support each other
@Kimberly Sinclair I have two sons I get what you're saying if we just hear what he is saying by the surface. I know Steve Harvey is a man of faith. So, when he makes these statements I automatically think deeper and makes me reference the Bible and dissect it. "Before God created Eve, He said: “It is not good that a man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). " I believe that Bible verse supports what Steve Harvey is trying to convey. I am not a pastor or biblical scholar to go into depth about this topic and explain the power and importance of a woman in a man's life and explain why God saw the value of creating Eve( a woman) was very important for Adam(a man.) But, I thought I at least share this thought out there to help people to look at it from a different angle.
There are several things that have been said I disagree with but I'll comment just on some of them. "There's no guy that has the value of what you have, he does not exist". With all due disrespect (and no, it's not a typo) what a pile of hot steaming sh!t! That kind of thinking, which nowadays majority of women buy into, is one of the major reasons for so many women to be and stay single. That kind of thinking is very toxic and damaging both for men and women. There are some very bad people out there, some very good people, and everything inbetween. Women are not some alien race, they are people just like men are. That makes them neither better nor worse than men. Woman being a prize? Seriously? Woman can be a valuable partner to a man (and vice versa, of course), but never a prize. Lying about number of your previous relations? Not a big deal if you do, eh? Lying about what else is not a big deal? Him being a man of faith makes it even worse. Starting a relationship, or what could become one, with lies is not a good idea. There's a saying that you can't be dead or pregnant just a little bit, either you are or you are not. Same goes for lying, either you are lying or you are not. Some tend to call that "white lies" but they are lies non the less. If a prospective partner is lying about such unimportant detail (oh, it wasn't 5, only 3) one should wonder what else they are being lied about.
I wish Steve would stop encouraging women to lie and be ashamed of how many people they've been with, 5 relationships in her life span isn't that bad. It could have been a short one for 3-4 months. The truth sets you free and if a man can't handle how many relationships you've been in then he's not the man for you.. simple.
Career (assuming that it gives you a sense of purpose). All the way! A career is more than money. No relationship should ask you to choose between a career over a relationship. Relationships come and go; the sense of purpose is not. If your relationship requires you to give up a job, you are not right together. You will not be very happy, and there will always be a void and wonder in you of what if. You'll live with a feeling of regret. True love is patient. True love can wait.
Marriage and relationships dont pay your bills, a career does is that simple, all you get from dating to getting married is wasted money and time!!! Well said and done.
Find the balance. I worked so hard to get where I am because I always put love last or not at all. Success means nothing if you have no one to share it with. If you see only a job as a guarante but not a relationship that’s the problem because both are not a guarante but equally worth the risk.
Marriage is a divine union between two people as a declaration of the binding of each other's hearts forever and is about love. It's about supporting each other. Each can have their career, but you put each other first.
@T C i still love him .. inspite of all the insults he and his family has done even in public. They asked me to donate my kidney to him (he has esrd) while they were not ready for any screening or donation. He forced me saying if i dont sonate then i should leave the house. Then i left .He said he never loved me and i was mere a substitute for his ex whom he always liked better.
If you chose career, do it with certainty and efficiency. Level up your education Go up ranks Invest more Build your impossible dream into reality Do it, don't just say it Work hard/Work smart (whatever works for you) And it will never leave you. If you chose love, make sure you are not neglecting your needs for the sake of your emotion Make time for each other more Figure out how to handle fights Make it long lasting as possible (it's hard to do that nowadays) And it will never leave you Stability is more important. Wether you chose love or career, it's up to you where you think you can be more stable and happy. Some people are more intelligent and good at work/career, some are in emotion/love. And there's nothing wrong too if you can do both. As long as you are not gonna regret your decision later, your decision is perfect.
Yes!!! The lady in the orange dress said what I was thinking!!! Why should you even have to put your career on the back burner? Why can't they go hand in hand? Support me while I build... and I'll do the same. Why am I with you if you can't support my dreams?
Lisa Sylvester it’s never too late to get a college education. I could never put my education or career on the line for the sake of a man who I see is replaceable. If a man truly loves u and supports u, he wouldn’t make u choose between your career and him. I’m not the type of person who can depend on a man to give me money, and make sure my bank account isn’t in a drought. I want to be able to do that, I want to be independent. Nothing wrong with putting yourself first and if the Man U r with can’t see that, then u r with the wrong man. There are plenty of fish in the sea...
I put my career aside to keep up with my ex. Guess what, he left me for his career and now here I am still struggling with what I could have done then can't do it now anymore.
It's not easy to say or do but it's not always impossible to maintain that balance. Not everyone can, not everyone does. We prioritized our career more often. Sad but true. That's the reality of life.
At 29 this is an interesting topic to me. I focused on using my 20s to get a degree and build a decent start for a career. However, I realized that many women are flawed in not getting married in their prime. It would suck imo to have literally everything material as well as a good career and not have love with the right person. Independence and money is great but being a part of a loving relationship and having a friend/partner to share that with makes life much or enjoyable. It's possible to have both I think as long as you have a good perspective on things. Great topic!
Have you ever seen a tombstone with a person's career title on it? Why do you think that is? It's because merit used to be based on what you gave of yourself, not what you accumulated for yourself. I think we've become a little too self important and materialistic.
One day people will understand the most important things in life are people not things, a career is extraordinary but it's pretty obtainable with the right Drive but to find the perfect soulmate is once in a lifetime some people never find theirs all the money in certain cases doesn't bring happiness long is you're earning a decent amount of money have clothes on your back of roof over your head and able to eat healthy with someone you truly love you will feel like you have a billion dollars 😉
I agree. I don’t believe in this at all. To put your career as the focus point is just lonely. I have a great career, money, and seeking a promotion. But my desire is to be married and have children. To experience love, arguments with a partner, deserts with a partner, and someone to lay next to. My career does not remove my loneliness and I have more than enough.
I think we all get confused. I wouldn't say career over love in any circumstance. What I do say is, purpose over love. Why? Because your purpose, and your gift is your value to humanity. Not a career. Now, if you are married, it's always your marriage first. This is by no means, not to say that there can't be both. The purpose of a marriage is to support and help transition your wife or husband to his or her purpose. It's not always "house". Purpose is always number 1, not nec career. In summation, love though, will always support the transition.
Career first.. Love fills the heart but NOT the stomach... If you choose career first, you'll be financially stable... Girls nowadays will NEVER say NO to financially stable guy
When you are in school do you take just one class per year or do you have multiple subjects to study for? If you cant do more than one thing at once you are at a disadvantage. Multi task. You don't have to CHOOSE. You can have both. You only have one life
Yes changing for someone is not bad! This myth is pushed by feminists who put up the "If I'm fat he must love me and all my fatness cuz I aint changin" mentality.
If I was to choose between being financially successful/Stable or just having a man. I’d choose being financially right. You can always really on your partner for things. So my career would come first🤷🏾♀️
He must LOVE and SUPPORT you. The max number of relationships is 3. 😅lol Heal a first You are the prize. List what you WANT and what you WILL NOT ACCEPT Don't Fix yourself for them or they will not fix themself for you. Women are priceless, keep the fence high.
I would choose my career as woman because my career will support me financially. No relationship is guaranteed,even with a ring on your finger. Some couples divorce after 11 years and I do not want to be broke and old. 😅 You can't hold a man. No such thing. Even if you are the prettiest. I would choose my career hands down.
My mother married a man that later became abusive and we lost her. He didn’t work and just used us for government assistance. I’m tired of men wanting me to sacrifice my career for them to be at home cooking and cleaning and having babies.
Ange I thats your opinion if you’re in the right career everything will always be straight. I’m trying to be an RN my job will always be the same the money will still be tight and nice boo
Ange I okay and you can be a millionaire, and still have love actually you’ll be more likely to do that with two incomes, and two people coming together to make something greater. And also some people don’t wanna be millionaires... having money don’t bring you all the happiness in the world. I can be an RN and make six figures, own a house, car, and take vacations and that’s not settling. If everybody were millionaires there wouldn’t be anybody working regular jobs and then you wouldn’t be able to buy the things you like or live to see your money cause you couldn’t get medicine or go to the hospital. You can aspire to be a millionaire but everybody’s not gonna be that, that’s not everybody’s destiny
Men and women are different. women love a man that other women want but a guy is not attracted to a women who has a body count that is through the roof
next time don't only bring women to the panel...we want to hear three other men too to speak on the panel on behalf of all males and not only Steve....let see who got it right.
for a female: pick one. you cannot have both. you have an expiration date. those who choose career complain that they are single in their near 40's. i find it amusing.
I've had 3 sons . Married and I'm a nurse by profession . However I didn't obtain my degree till my 2 oldest where school aged. My 3rd son didnt come along till 11 yrs later after my 2nd . Things are possible but in moderation
This reasoning is why so many women are alone and asking why there is are not any men who want them. They want a man in a committed relationship when they are well past their prime
I think you should marry someone who will empower you and support you. However, sometimes being married and the women/man is build herself/himself the other might feel left behind or neglected and that can cause problems.
If you're dating anyone that wants a career, expect to be disappointed about being more of a priority than making money or keeping a job but then again if you knew that then you should already be set as to what you want to do before, during, and after the process. There isn't a debate, you discover what everyone is going to do and then move accordingly.
There is no such thing as a golden decision. What you should have done in one relationship is not what you should do in another. Sometimes you push, sometimes you retreat. Like rockpaperscissors. You have to make different choices depending on the circumstances. If your a guy or a gal. Relationship or not. Life is an art of choice.
T C why would she need to lie about the number of relationships she has been in? She’s a grown woman. I think a lot of women are single is because they are not just being themselves! Steve is promoting a scatterbrained ideology to women
😱😱😱you mean to tell me in 2018 a grown woman has more than 3 relationships??? It’s okay to date around and date often? Wow I’m shocked - Steve is giving some very old fashioned and backwards advice
Syameena Pillai In his previous videos he jokingly suggests that women only have 3 men they've been with: "There's you honey (one), my ex (two), and JUST one more (three)!!" 😂😂😂 Girl, You know how territorial/sensitive men are!!! He tellin truth!! lol
It's depends on your age and underage relationship does not count ،as you said , it's 2018 but if I know you had too many relationship I would wonder , they all left u , you must be crazy . Sorry .
It can look bad on men too if the number is way high, even though they might get cut more slack for higher numbers. There's still a "whoa buddy wow" high. Just don't even tell me unless I ask, and I probably won't ask until we've been married for many years. Sheesh… I need to know about relationships though. What happened to them...
icycici- Yes but we have to get men out of being that way, women are human too. If you are in your 30's clearly it's possible you've been with more than 3 people
Really dont like what Steve said that women should only claim 3 relationships. It is a new time and a new era. We are allowed our truth and if men cant handle that a woman has had a certain amount of relationships (5 isnt even alot) then that clearly shows how insecure he is. Women do not have to lie and be ashamed of decisions they have made in their love life if it has not negatively impacted anyone. Steve has such a backward mentality when it comes to women's roles in relationships and its even more frustrating when the other women or audience agree with him.
Dont worry most men already assume a woman has been with more men than she will ever say especially in this hypersexualized society where women are encouraged to sleep around
Tianna Miller. Its not about insecurity, Its about psychological stabliity. The more partners the more emotional baggage. And the more questions decent men will ponder. Like why didn't. any of those partners marry her? why All these partners,? she may not be honest about. Her polygamists. Nature!!!.
Something I finally figured out: we all miss out on something. Time and energy are finite. Even the ladies with both great careers and relationships miss out on things, whether it be not having enough time for yourself, or your friends, or something. You can have many things and it may even look perfect on the outside, but you will miss out on something. And that's okay.
There is conditional and unconditional love. Am I going to find unconditional love in a relationship or possible marriage? Probably not. Unconditional love is MOST parents to their kids, especially mum to their kids. MOST mothers have an unconditional love towards their kids. Now, what will make me happy? Imagine a career never makes me happy? What if you choose "love" and you get heartbroken? There are a lot of things you need to think about before you make a solid decision.
In part, the first guest on the panel described the difference between men and women when it comes to work..men are willing to work longer hours and focus more on their careers whereas women put family first, and there's nothing wrong with that..but this is why the hierarchy in many of your top 500 fortune companies are the way they are!
I don't know why ppl are so hung up on the fact he said say you only had 3 relationships. Its not that old fashioned because if a dude is being honest with you he don't really want to know that you been in that many relationship because it changes how he views you (right or wrong). My husband knows I was in relationships before him but he don't really want to know who and how many. Thats just facts.
Here's the thing, imo: I can understand that the dude MAY or MAY NOT view a woman differently if he knows the real number (I know some men who care and some who don't). However, I also believe he or she is not required to answer the question if asked, either. In this situation, if she had a number that may appear as "concerning" to me, I would rather she NOT ANSWER the question, since I am not really entitled to an answer. This is because if she answers the question as 3, or even less, it still promotes the idea that there's something wrong with her. This is true whether or not the man feels that way. You mentioned that your husband doesn't want to know how many relationships you had in the past; that is both his decision and YOUR right not to share that information. At no point did you establish you had to fabricate an arbitrary limit to protect his image of you.
Cari: You know how it is in the single street (other lady: They're rough), they're rough. They're rough because you chose your career over finding a man. Now that your older it's harder for you because you have to compete with younger women. Single men your age having well establish careers are dating younger girls.
I wouldn't end a relationship over a raise or promotion. But would I for my dream job? Yes! I'm young asf and love does not last forever. I know for sure that if I turned down a huge opportunity cause of some guy I would get bitter with him
I would never put my relationship on hold for a career. Either you love the person or not. Don’t make an excuse to put a relationship on hold. Just break up with the person and move on!
Both are important in their own way for sure. The problem I also have with Steve is when he tells women they are the prize. This contributes greatly to women's self entitlement mentality. A GOOD man is just as much as a prize as a GOOD woman. If a woman can't see the man's value as equal to her own then it won't work with the men today.
Team love life ❤️ You can make money anytime but it’s hard to get honest soulmate who is ready to share with u happiness n sadness and who will be your side no matter what 👌
You can HAVE both at the same time. However, The PURSUIT of one will usually win over the other due to managing your time, efforts & finances (dating = 💰)
