"I told this 9-year-old girl that she would be in trouble if she ever told anyone what we did when we were alone. Anyway, back to your father exotic teenage apprentice child-soldier…"
Don’t forget kneeling disarmed opponents, a village of sand people and cowering politicians in opposition to the ruling government at the time. That baby has seen some action.
"That over here is my old friend R2D2. He had saved my skin in many a space battle. I like to pretend I don't know him so that I can watch him try to deny it in beeps and boops. It's a little game we play."
@@dungeononion He wasn't called Palpatine or Darth Sideous until the prequels. He was only called the Emperor in the Original Trilogy. In fact when the Episode 1 trailers were coming out people were theorizing whether or not the new "Palpatine" character would be the Emperor.
Rogue One explained the 30 year old plothole of "who the f would design a hole that blows up the entire deathstar so easily" pretty well. Crazy to write a movie around just fixing that, but I'm not complaining.
"She outran every grown adult who gave chase, even though she appeared to be moving in slow motion. She was a cunning runner, and a good friend... even though she pretends to not know me now."
Kenobi could have been good. Dragging Leia into it and making Kenobi and Vader fight again made it feel like fan fiction. A more subtle version where Kenobi had to save Bail instead of Leia and maybe just narrowly avoided meeting Vader would have been way cooler and fit the overall story better.
Or they could’ve at least had them deal more damage to each other. Vader shouldn’t have had his saber at the end of the fight (I know they wanted the cool play with the lighting on his face) but nothing stopping Vader boomeranging Obi 🤦🏻♂️ if they both had more injury, it would explain why they are so slower and cautious in New Hope. It was good, but it could’ve been way better
@@TMCNJNah I can’t call it good lol. Disagree with you there. The injury thing I’ve never thought about and that’s a nice touch but them not fighting at all still would’ve been better I think. The show ruined both characters as well as the Grand Inquisitor and on top of that was horribly written, acted and had the worst cinematography and choreography of any Star Wars project and was just dumb propelled by coincidence. Honestly the worst thing to ever come out of Star Wars up to this point imo. Which is sad because it was the project I was most hyped for by far. Was thinking it was going to be an amazing intimate character drama about PTSD and responsibility beautifully shot in the desert but I got the opposite, dumb forced action fan fic with the worst action that makes 0 sense and is laughable. The plot could have worked if instead of a random Jedi finding Obi-wan on Tatooine ruining his character by showing he hasn’t covered his tracks at all, it could’ve been Vos and have a buddy team up film with Vader killing him at the end if you had to get off planet but still. I just pretend it’s not canon and so badly want a remake
"Do you remember that time that pissed off Sith Inquisitor lady came to your farm and almost killed you and your aunt and uncle? No, surely boys don't remember such things."
They tried to make it so that Luke never directly saw her... which was made in a super awkward way but the fact that his aunt and uncle could actually defend the farm against her is what was truly ridiculous. Or the fact that she shouldn't have been there in the first place cause she literally didn't know who Luke was, she literally just heard something about a child and immediately made him her goal for no reason. Or the fact that Organa had no good reason to contact Kenobi cause they agreed that they wouldn't communicate to prevent this kind of mess yet he was worried about Kenobi not contacting him... while repeating that he knows that's what they agreed on in the first place... Man, the show sucked.
@@tomb.524"Yo dawg, I'm afraid you've been captured by Vader, so lemme just recap the super secret secret stuff we've kept super secret because it's a secret that Vader cannot know, and he probably captured you so here's the secret Vader can't know that I'll repeat to you now that Vader has captured you but doesn't know the secret that he cannot know, dawg."
"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough. He was on fire and screaming curses at me at the time but he really DID want you to have this."
“by the way, the force is an energy field, used to choke your enemies or throw them across the room” dropped so nonchalantly into the conversation is killing me
The Force flows thru all living things! It's very powerful! It can even heal wounds or retain life but no one will ever really do that Force move for 43 years or so.
Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I was one of the most respected actors in the world, performing in renowned films such as Kind Hearts and Coronets, The Bridge on the River Kwai and A Passage to India? I even got an Oscar and a Knighthood in recognition for my talent and excellence. Then, while I was between shooting masterpieces with David Lean, a nerd named George Lucas begged me to play a samurai wizard from space in his sci-fi/fantasy flick. I took it to be nice, even though it meant saying lines such as "Only a master of evil Darth". Somehow, despite Lucas's bungling, it was a huge success and he roped me into appearing in the two equally idiotic sequels. I didn’t want to, but my code of honor as British gentleman and an actor prevented me from leaving a project unfinished. Now that's those movies are the only thing people remember me for. When you search my name on Google Images, the first result is from a website called “Wookiepedia”. My legacy is ruined forever thanks to Lucas. And he was a good friend.
@@INFILTR8US well sMaRt oNe clearly im referring to non british indian men doing an impression of a british person because indian people from britain or the uk dont sound like they are doing an impression thats just their accent…
Luke: How did my father die? OB1: There are three possible scenarios. The first is that he was seduced by the dark side of the force. The second is that I cut off all of his limbs and burned horribly on some planet. The third is that Darth Vader murdered and betrayed him. I prefer the third or first scenario because if you believe the second one then you might hate my guts.
@@kingmegatron7974, the canceled Sequel Trilogy from George Lucas would’ve made a far more perfect Sequel Trilogy than what Disney put out, and yes Obi-Wan’s description of the Star Wars events describes Disney Star Wars perfectly that Disney is the Empire and Fox Studios as well as Lucas Arts are the Rebel Alliance that lost to the Empire.
Love how he corrected himself initially but then gave up and accidentally refers to Vader as Luke's father and then decides to pick up the effort to hide Vader's true identity despite already unveiling it if Luke paid attention.
"Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I defeated Darth Vader in a rocky planet, but I left him there, so the original trillogy can happen?" "Luke did I ever tell you about the time your sister managed to outrrun three sith inquisitors?" "How about the time when that angry black lady entered your uncle's farm to kidnapp you, crazy times right?" "Oh Luke, there was this time when I invaded a Imperial fortress and put your sister on my coat to escape"
@@alvallac2171Eh. The appropriate punctuation here would be a semicolon, but even you didn't know that. Give them a break. (To provide a little more detail: In this case, OP is clearly trying to write the same way they speak. They're using a comma intentionally; the ideas are closely connected and a period is too big of a pause. This is exactly what semicolons are supposed to be for, but they aren't ever taught properly in school so whatever.)
"Luke, did I ever tell you about the true last time I ever met your father? I had forgotten about it, you see, due to the constant retcons and decanonization of the Mouse. But no matter, you can still learn the whole story - now available on Disney Plus!"
"Hey, Luke. Have you ever snorted Spice and re-watched this scene while reading 'Dune Messiah'? Pages 43 to 56, specifically... It's like our every action lines up and 'rhymes' with those characters. Also, what's with all the 'desert planets' in our galaxy? It's like every other place we visit is a giant sandbox that we can still somehow breathe on and is run by worm-people... and a good friend."
"And don't get me started on your loser dad, Luke. He used to tell girls that he was a Navigator on a Spice Freighter, like that would impress them or something... When everyone knows that we have computers for that sort of thing. No game at all... Later, he started saying crazy poodoo, like "I was immaculately conceived by the Force to be the greatest Jedi ever." "I built this Droid, or this pod racer" or something... hitting on your mother like the owner of my favorite 1950's theme diner used to back on Coruscant, during his long midlife crisis... Anyway, Padmé eventually gave him a little, out of pity of course, when he started blathering on and on about sand... which is how both you and your twin sister in the hologram there came into being, Wormie."
*Later..* Obi-Wan: “So who is in charge here. You?” Vader “No, that would be Tarkin.” Obi-Wan: “So..” Vader: “Don’t say it.” Obi-Wan: “You’re on this Death Star but you weren't granted the rank of Master.” Vader: “You bastard!”
The fact that more skill and care was put into the writing consistency of a 2 minute RU-vid video than a 90 million dollar tv show about obi wan freaking Kenobi is both hilarious and tragic
@@barfo281 i'm sure he made many shitty decisions, but unfortunately for you, many people don't care about your archaeology exhibit digging up old prequels and og series cringe as much as the current-age dogwater that is plaguing the scene as a pattern of the disney enshittening effect plaguing our streaming services and movie studios across a half a dozen or so companies outside the one that you personally will die on the hill for being mediocre in the first place. we didn't ask, that's not the main focus, and we have more relevant issues to deal with in this topic that we want to give their proper airtime, grievancewise, and if you think that's useless, at least it's something fixable and actively happening when you're doing the same thing over drama gone and past. we get it, you feel disillusioned of the glory days, but not everything in the franchise is about your primordial issue alone.
oh man those last lines of ".. but not as bad a burn as when i cut off arm & legs and left him to catch fire.." and ".. he was a real piece of $hit, your father.." had me crying..!
it's a really neat touch that Obi-Wan "forgets" to mention he hilariously and embarrassingly ran away from Darth Vader _twice,_ upon seeing his Padawan Best Friend again for the first time since making him a multiple amputee then leaving him to die burning on a lava mountain - both times simply leaving frame in a flat comedy shot. thanks, Disney!
It's like if I wrote a book called "Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of the dead cat." And then expect it to be put into the annals of Sherlock Holmes stories written by Arthur Conan Doyle.
@@guyledouche4918That’s why I always laugh at the idea of ‘canon.’ Like, just because some company buys the property means they can retroactively decide what is and isn’t a ‘valid’ part of the story? What difference does it make to a person like me when a company like Disney tries to say “well this story doesn’t count anymore” about Legends or other third party media? I’m still gonna consume it no matter what. Their ‘seal of approval’ changes nothing. Like, imagine if one day Disney was just like “okay guys, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom isn’t canon, please disregard this movie entirely and move along, nothing to see here.” Their voice literally has no tangible power or effect on me or the media itself.
@@kintsugikame and when you ask them to justify that decision...the answer is "well...we bought it. We have a piece of paper that says we are the ones in charge." It makes no sense. The only Canon is that which the creator themself makes.
@@kintsugikame What their decision meant was simply that "legends" would be ignored for the movies and series they would make. It "doesn't count anymore" because you might have noticed Han and Leia didn't have twins and a son called Anakin in the new trilogy. Nobody is saying that you can't consume whatever you want. This is not hard to understand. It's not about a "seal of approval" it literally was about the course they wanted to take with the franchise.
Kenobi was a low point in the Disney Star Wars era. But I expect us to go far lower still. One day we'll look back fondly and say, "Remember when we thought this is as bad as Disney Star Wars can get?"
😆Luke's reaction to "your fathe- I mean, Darth Vader" like "Mhmm, I've seen Star Wars." But seriously, when memeing something is more entertaining than it itself... kind of a red flag.
I'm going to enjoy watching this evolve and get more and more ridiculous as this shitty Disney show drags on, season after season. This is a lovely start.
I love this so much! Thank you. It made me feel so good about what I love about Star Wars and sooo, so bad about all that's been wrong with it for decades now. Somehow the pacing and back and forth of Luke smiling at this clearly rambly old man talking random nonsense was kind of heartwarming. "Oh, that's just Old Ben for ya, mixing up all his facts and semi-intentionally making up parts of his past as he ages, battling his on-set dementia. He's a good man, that old Ben."
wait wait wait......I am absolutely surprised this video only has 450 likes (451 after I watched it). It's absolutely brilliant. I just came here from watching the Harry potter calmly one. I couldn't stop laughing the whole way through that one. So I thought well there's no way that kind of quality can be kept for others right? So I clicked this after it just to have a look and same formula. I'm laughing from the start to the end. Great job your sense of humor is next level.
It's honestly crazy how this video is a year old, but serves as a demarcation separating the time when people had to physically voice videos like this themselves, and the AI era we live in now where a specific person's speech can be perfectly replicated by anyone who has the software for it.
I love the way Luke turns around all shocked when he hears Obi-Wan call Vader, his father but then when Obi-Wan corrects him self, he just smiles and shrugs and turns back to C-3PO.
Of all the bullshit they shoehorned into that show the one that pisses me off most is Leia and Obi-Wan never meet in A New Hope so they really should and could have made it so she never figured out who he really is in the show and not retroactively make Episode 4 make less sense. I mean there were infinite ways the show could've been only *slightly* tweaked to ensure Leia never knew that was Obi-Wan like have him only go by Ben, tell Leia nothing of his backstory/Inquisitors never let on they're hunting someone with Osama Bin Laden level importance, have Leia told he died luring Vader away instead of showing up on fucking Alderann, etc. so it'd be plausible when Bail tells her about his former Jedi General pal Obi-Wan that's been hiding since the war's end she wouldn't necessarily put it together he was her mysterious savior from years prior (as shown in other shows Leia clearly knows of other force users in the galaxy that've been hiding, her friend that saved her as a kid would just be another one of those random holdouts)