Marvel's NEW New Warriors Are a Bad Joke and the Joke Is On the Customers 

Stanley isn’t rolling in his grave, he’s spinning like a fricking beyblade.

Whoever came up with this nonsense was definitely on Internet Gas.

I really hope Deadpool pops in just to kill these so called 'warriors' off and ends that book with braking the 4th wall saying to the reader 'you're welcome'

They really took the term "social justice warrior" too literally.

So, SO many red flags: "They were too cool for me." "Illegal to be a vigilante under the age of 21." "Internet gas." It reeks of one completely out of touch with and disconnected from those they're trying to appeal to, and the fact that this was greenlit shows that the rest of Marvel is the same.

“My name is Daniel Kibblesmith” Of freaking coarse it is.

_Trailblazer confronts Thanos_ “I’m going to stop you.” Thanos: _Uses the reality gem to create a treadmill_ Trailblazer: _Dies of exhaustion_ “Reality is often disappointing”

My super power is I can look up anything on the internet. Me: I have a cell phone.

He looked like his brain had a stroke when he heard "Internet Gas".

Trailblazer: I'm gonna go trailblazing to Mc Donalds! Luckily it's in my backpack so I don't even have to walk. Screentime: I'm a super hero because I sniffed the internet's farts. Snowflake and Safespace to each other: I am literally nothing without you! Let's make out! Twincest is wincest! B-Negative: It's not a phase mom! Bruh ... If this is the future of Marvel there is no future.

“Charging into action” The only charging trailblazer is going to do is into the nearest McDonald’s

The really sad thing about all this, which is also ironic… That may also be a little bit hilarious, is that marvel never really even needed to be woke in the first place. Before all this madness even began marvel already had a very good reputation of being diverse, and in a good way. To note some of my favorites: in the young avengers, We have Wiccan and Hulkling, A gay couple that were also awesome superheroes and people, and while I am not Gay I still found myself eager to support these two. Both these fine gentleman had so many problems they had to deal with, a good chunk of it having to do with simply how there were born(I won’t put the details here, they are too many and too complex to go over), but at the end of the day despite all that both knew they would have each other. In the runaways we have Gert York, this awesome little lady as a psychic connection to a dinosaur called old lace, she was also a bit on the heavier side, but she was so much more than just that, Heck, the woman even impressed Spiderman play critiquing his own most famous saying “with great power comes great responsibility”. Oh! I also forgot to mention that her parents were super villains on the verge of destroying all of earth! Did she let that define who she was? The short answer no. And let’s not forget T’challa, THE Black Panther. He was created by none other than the one and only Stan Lee, during a time are black people in the real world we’re actually still greatly oppressed. And what separates these characters from these wannabes in the new warriors? It’s because they were more than just the labels their entire identity wasn’t focused around One characteristic whether it be gay, fat, or black. Those were a part of them, the keyword here being a part, it was one thing among many that made up the awesome identities that these people have, and yes from time to time they had to directly deal with that part of their life and that’s just fine, Everyone has to deal with that unique/different part of themselves from time to time as well; and they most certainly didn’t try to shove every down everyone’s throats every other half second. It seems nowadays people are more concerned with having characters be built entirely around a single label and make everything they say and do tie directly to that label and give them no other interesting (or redeeming for that matter) characteristics and qualities about them. These new warriors are an insult to everything that marvel has already been ever since its beginnings, and I truly hope the people working at marvel realize they don’t need to fix what is not broken. P.s. I’m still not entirely convinced that this is not some elaborate April fools joke that they have put a lot of time and effort into. Literally everyone else on this trailer to has been initially convinced that this is some kind of joke. P.S.S. Still Waiting for them to admit this is all just joke

how does trailblazer have something from her grandfather if she was in foster care?

The writer looks exactly like the kind of guy who expects to get laid because he ‘respected’ a lady

Trailblazer - what happened to Dora the Explorer when she grew up and fell in love with pizza Screentime - what happened to BEN10 when he grew and sniffed his grandfathers farts

"Internet gas"? Was getting bitten by a radioactive iPhone too unrealistic?

The way Snowflake and Safespace look and stay so close together makes me think that their last name is Lannister

Even the Tumblr and Twitter shut-ins hate this idea. For once, everyone's on the same page.

Daniel kibblesmith: "SafeSpace is kind of a Big, Burley, sort of stereotypical Jock" Literally everybody who's ever seen the video: *"Are you sure about that?"*

"How many jocks have you actually seem? that is how you think jocks look like?" Theory: He was too scared to take a good look as he's tossed in the locker, so he never really SAW one.

I dunno, man. I think Snowflake and Safespace are a pretty bold move by Marvel. It's been a while since Marvel had an openly incestuous pair of twins. ...wait, what? We're not supposed to assume they're boning? Well, someone clearly didn't tell the artist that posed them in that group shot, because unless your last name is 'Lannister' I don't see that as normal twin behavior.

"We don't have to worry about being dated" Neither do your characters, but that won't be apparent until the new teammate "ForeverAlone" joins the cast.

So, LGBT people feel this is mocking them. Moderates see it as one of the reasons they don’t call themselves liberals. Conservatives will reject it on the NB character if not the names alone. Just WHOM was this comment meant to represent, empower, or in any way appeal to?

The guy is in pink and the girl is in blue colored clothes. WOW THAT IS SO DEEP AND BRAVE!

Seriously, Snowflake and Safespace? Like they are aware this is self mockery right?

These "New Warriors" are just one giant meme and made for people who will NEVER buy it. Great going Marvel, you killed your comic division for life.

I heard the name Trailblazer and immediately my mind went to being a speedster. I wasn't expecting a Dora The Explorer ripoff

Sjw's don't even like this.. have we reached even lower? I scare to think

2:25 She inherited a magic backpack? 🤔 Dora is a part of the Marvel universe?

Rogue’s gallery: The Phobe, Gym man, Social Injustice Warriors, Orange Man, Mr. Reality and Ms. Facts, The Misoginy, Two-Genders, The Critic, Comment Section, Hate Speech, Dr. Alt Right, The Infamous Incel, Basement-Dweller, Neck-beard, Mr Toxic and The Russian Bot.

One of his books is titled "Santa's Husband." Shows you just what we're dealing with here.

Real people: I want my heroes to be cool and awesome warriors! Marvel: I N T E R N E T G A S

"Internet gas"...wow now i've heard it all truly

The people who made this was probably smoking internet gas

This looks like a GREAT book, with its finger on the pulse of just what the kids want! This MUCH needed reboot is going to be a HUGE winner for Marvel! Sincerely Sarcastro

how did the concept artist get away calling those designs "modern" when its basically Ben10 rip off aesthetics from like 15 years ago.

I still can't believe this is real.

When I heard *INTERNET GAS* ..... *INTERNET GAS* ......dude I-.....I don't even know anymore. That is so dumb even for a comic book. C'mon Marvel...

You're damn right, I want to be with Namorita! Hopefully, she could take me as far away from those new freaks as humanly possible.

What else should we expect from a beta-male who wrote "Santa's Husband" ... ?

How are you doing this?!? You face the horror of Batwoman every week to entertain us, but this goes beyond the call of duty. I salute you good sir!!!

marvel : how can we make a comic like batwoman tvshow ? Kibblesmith : somebody say this is the job for me....

New Warriors "We're here to stop you Thanos" ! Thanos "Who the hell are yall???" New Warriors "Protectors of Earth" Thanos ( Can't respond, laughing to hard)

Big burly. Really? Compared to who? This is literally the biggest poop show I've seen ever. EVER! I'm 39, btw. So, old enough to remember good comics, movies, and tv shows. WTF is going on?!?!?!?!?!

I can't find anything about Trailblazer's race but I really hope she's not Native American because um...that would be....oof....

This is why I stick with manga

Screentime: hey thanos you better fear me! Thanos: or what child? Screentime: or I’ll cancel you on twitter! Thanos: … *thanos shoots Screentime with a power beam and kills Screentime and then thanos kills the rest of this new warriors team and sits down watching the sun rise on a grateful universe*

Comic book store owners should just refuse to order these magazines, with the simple explanation that "no one will buy this sh*t."

Apparently Dave Kibbles and Bits is getting his revenge on paper cuts by effectively eliminating the production of any new comics ever again.

the original ones were too cool for him, so he made this, now he can finally read new warriors, too bad no one else will

They literally called the NATIVE TRAIL BLAZER. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! It's not like there is a history about a trail the natives had to cross or anything... Certainly no tears were had... (no, not the Lewis and Clark expedition)

"Charging into battle..." - well, Hannibal used war elephants... ;)

I for one appreciate Marvels attempt to help alleviate the toilet paper shortage

Does this guy write for "Batwoman"? Someone else suggested the leading villain would be "Captain Microaggression". The New New Warriors team chant, "No no, don't touch me there. This is my No-No square!"

"Trailblazer rushes into battle" Me: boi the only thing she rushes to is the nearest McDonalds

Every single bone of Stan Lee's corpse is rotating on its own axis. Yes, this is a JoJo's reference.

Yeah these new warriors look really bad and terrible which is sad because the new warriors are a good team back in the 90s but my god this new team looks really bad.

Comic book store owners an advice: SWITCH TO MANGA!!!!!

ABSOLUTELY SAVAGE. The best review of the new social justice warriors I’ve seen so far

*Keeo a safe distance Terrax or he'll give you a malware infection" LMFAO

I'm sorry Trailblazer, You cannot be a Superhero and have Type 2 diabetes

"Fighting against labels that's put on them" Well, that kinda says it all! Do you think that soyboy writer has ever kissed a girl in his life? My guess is not even close.

I loved your take on this. I grew up with comics giving me strong role models with powers and heroic flaws. I had a strong sense of masculinity and never was persecuted for being gay. It was my oddity, not my identity. I love my handsome male friends, and as we grew up and went on with our lives. They married nice girls and developed families and shared their experiences with me as a friend. Just like all the dads and pals they met in our city or their small towns. I am disgusted by the pandering stupidity of the Gender Neutral artifice that weirdos use with which to beat happy folks over the heads. I loved the old days when men were men, villains, or heroes. And women were women fierce in a totally different way. I love the goddesses that the comics gave us. I am boycotting the Marvel titles as an outraged and offended CIS male. This is such a joke to watch unfold, and the timing couldn't be worse for the comic business. If you want to find me, I will be in the back issues section, searching out Jack Kirby and other great artists and writers.

Trailblazer does not run into battle, she ROLLS!

That face at the reveal of NNW - Bwahahah! (You're not wrong tough). Edit: Has to be a prank, "Snowflake & Safespace"? Yeah right.

B-Negative isnt a goth, he is a vamp kids...

This was hilarious. And like I've said before, because of her magic bag with a pocket dimension in which she can hide anything, she should have been called Felix the Twat

The mental breakdown you are having is solid gold lol. These reaction vids are priceless. This book will be cancelled after 3 or 4 weeks. The people this is for will not keep buying them.

They didn't tell us yet but she can only take feminine things out of her backpack like a sandwich, tampons and broom.

"she looks like a runner with that body type" You now have a new subscriber sir.

"Magic Backpack" Dora the first thing come to my mind right now.

Other new super heroes: Soy-Boy, It's MAAM Man, Ex-Men, Xir/Xer - Person....

This "man" sounds like he's going to burst into tears at every moment of the interview.

This team is composed of --Dora the Explorer plagiarism --DIscount Danny Phantom --Ultimates Scarlet WItch and Quicksilver --the one guy whose costume is off theme with the cherry on top of eye-searing color pallet.

1st : kids were huffing GLUE 2nd : kids were huffing paint and now kids are huffing INTERNET GAS

"What were they thinking?!" Oh silly Thorias this is Marvel Comics they never think

Destroy them, King.

And the result of our internet name votes the names are: Snowflake and Safespace

Wait...wait....Do you hear the whistling sound? That’s the bomb that this comic will be dropping out of this sky to trigger their outrage of the SJWs who didn’t buy this comic series

This is the new joke “heroes” in a nutshell. ScreenTime- I’m a human version of google glasses B Negative- I’m a off brand Marilyn Manson that’s a emo stereotype man, you don’t get my story Trailblazer- I’m a fat girl with a magic backpack, and my name is a lie because I’m not a speedster Snowflake- I’m a made up gender from tumblr that uses ice shurikens, like Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat would SafeSpace- I’m the same made up tumblr gender as Snowflake and, my power is using force fields to protect others, so I’m useless unless people are around

Why did MARVEL get this hack to write New Warriors?

Your face during Trailblazer's reveal was the face of a man truly, truly horrified.

This is why being "more inclusive" with the pools of writers without having any sorts of quality control is a bad idea.

Next for Marvel stinkers: “Super Manbun!” Just you wait. (Weakness: Haircuts!) 🥴

I keep thinking of the Episode of South Park about the "Got Kids" "Goth kids & Vampire kids are NOT the same thing! Gawwwwd!" P.S. New Warriors is STILL too Cool for this fool!

This popped back up in my feed and 3 years later I'm still starved for Internet Gas.

Hey mate, first-time viewer. The look on your face was epic when you realised this was not a hoax.. ROFL :) Keep up the good work. Mitch from Australia.

If trailblazer doesn’t pull snacks or a cheeseburger out of that backpack at some point then I’ll eat my own hat.

These are rejects from rupaul's drag race:)

"Trailblazer...what trails is she blazing? The trails in the field of competitive pie eating?!" That line was cracked me up lol.

Daniel kibblesmith is Chris chan of Comics

"He apparently didn't have to pitch for it!" Yeah, but I bet he had to "catch" for it, tho...

"She can do some good with this mysterious gift she's been given..." ...But when will she EVER be able to just stay away from those chili cheese fries, we don't know. ...We don't know...

Your reaction was too funny xD This really is the biggest joke of 2020 yet.

"fuck this book!" Best line all year!

Maybe corporate wants to move past this crap and that's why they're dropping it now when any launch is doomed.

Screentime looks like a Chinese knock-off of Ben 10. And Internet Gas, really; it would've made more sense if they said his powers came from Nanomachines or an AI, but instead they went with the dumbest explanation possible

Captain America's Shield is glowing with Vibranium rage right now.

I swear now every time I think of the word Soy Boy I now think of this writer.

Wow, simply wow. I daresay they're writing this to mock actual superheroes, insinuating that even mooks like these can become superheroes, just because. They don't need a good upbringing, they don't need driving motivations, they can be superheroes because they said so. Wow, these clowns wouldn't last against Doctor Doom, Thanos, *any* of the truly dangerous supervillains, they'd be lambs to the slaughter. Yeah, this won't motivate anyone, which makes me believe it was made to mock more traditional heroes, something modern writers clearly know nothing about.