I had a sensory meltdown in front of my entire theatre class and I began to self-harm to try to find any anchor to bring me down to earth, and that caused my theatre class to freak out at me for hurting myself, which made me feel even more terrible. Even my crush at the time got mad at me and said I was "too old for that," which made me feel like my feelings were invalid and I crumbled on the floor in shame. It was the worst meltdown of my life.
Me too, it's so so painful- I don't know how to explain the feeling to a neurotypical person. I've tried to use Toy Story but I don't think they even get that, it's so hard
You summed it up perfectly! A meltdown is a wave. Sometimes we don't see that it's a tsunami until after it hits. I'm a 31 year old aspie who was only diagnosed last year. I am so glad you found your ring. I'd be lost without my beaded bracelets.
Thank you so much for commenting❤ I am currently in the process of getting diagnosed but am almost 30 and feel like a fraud a lot of the times. So hearing from people like you really makes me feel more secure and safe so thank you ❤❤❤
I'm literally in tears. I've felt so alone for most of my life in that I'm not just "different" than other people, I'm very different. And while I've always encouraged people to embrace their uniqueness and always remain true to themselves, I've struggled to maintain that philosophy for myself. I've felt isolated and ridiculed, people raising the eyebrows, talking covertly behind my back, snickering, or looking at me like I'm from outer space. I've still managed to embrace life with a positive and enthusiastic spirit, but it's not been easy. Meltdowns, whether due to SPD or something that might seem small and insignificant to others, and the way people react to them, has contributed to my isolation. I guess I don't blame people for feeling that way, but sometimes it really hurts as I love people and would love to socialize more. I tend to burn people out... so I stick to social media where people can at least tune me out when I get to be too much for them. I love the way you describe these processes that we aspies go through, helping others understand us a little better and hopefully encouraging people to be a little more tolerant. I think you are amazing, beautiful, brave... with a great outlook and sense of humour. Keep sharing, Chloe! ~Dani (a Canadian fan).
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 10 because my school psychologist thought my almost daily meltdowns was just me acting out to get my way. …Saying that now as an adult makes me angry.
I’m not diagnosed but I strongly believe that I’m autistic Whenever I would have a meltdown everyone would basically say “ignore her. She’s just looking for attention and to get her way” and I was told “to grow up. You made a bad decision you live with the consequences.” I can not think about this or the fact that other non diagnosed autistic people are getting told this without getting incredibly mad.
@@Actually_its_Ashelytrue, I hope you’re doing okay now. Meltdowns are an overwhelm of emotion caused by dysregulation that’s not done with intentions to get attention or any motive. There’s a big difference and there’s articles online you could find to show someone so they understand. Were you ever able to find help / support for your autistic needs?
@@DanniBby yeah, I’m doing better now. Of course I have trauma from my almost daily meltdowns when I was young and getting in trouble for them but my family mostly understands now and they accommodate me and the other nerodivergent people in the family pretty well Thank you so much for asking, I hope you’re doing well
@@Actually_its_Ashely that’s so good to hear, I’m glad ☺️ btw, how do have they learned to accommodate your meltdowns, what works? What are the ways to accommodate Neurodivergence?
same. my dad likes to say "you're acting like you're 13" (i struggled a lot when i was 13 and so was easily upset and prone to meltdowns) and also that I'm being manipulative
Thank you for saying it's normal to hit yourself. I have ended up with a concussion from banging into a wall and with black and blue thighs from my fists. So traumatizing. More traumatizing than whatever it was triggered me. This made me want to bawl. Thank you so much for this.
It is?! I thought it was just me. Holy cow, that's helpful. I always have bruises after hitting myself and then I feel like crap, but it's normal? Phew.
@@auradragonfly I'm sending you love. I know it's hard not to be ashamed but the shame won't serve you. Only love and understanding. As of writing this I haven't hit myself in over 2 years. You got this.
@@synaestheticstudios thank you. I’m trying. Yeah I never intend to. The emotions just get too big for my brain to handle y’know. It also feels shameful because I’m 34 and still like this. That was my worse one yet almost.
I am so ashamed for my meltdowns. I am an extremely rational person, I live on my own, I am a responsible person and yet, here I am, crying and panicking at the doctor’s office, because they touch me and widen my pupil in order to be able to see if anything is wrong with it. I really really don’t like it, when they do things with my body like measuring my pulse or checking my reflexes. And I got so upset about it. I usually don’t care what people think about me, but I wonder what they thought when I had a meltdown for no reason at all...
I would have reacted exactly the same and I'm not on the spectrum. The emotional bond to some items I have represents the one I have/had with that person or animal. So I still have a piece of them after death f.e. It's soothing to have a connection still. And when this thing gets lost it's like loosing that person or animal all over again for that moment.
You are such a poet! This story was beautifully told! I can relate so hard! Once I couldn't find my Dad's ring and I thought I lost it forever. I found I about a year later. I still have it. It is his University ring. He passe away almost five years ago. That ring is my life. Along with his cross.
I’m not autistic, but I have generalized anxiety disorder and I’ve had what I suppose would be the anxiety version of a meltdown. I have anxiety attacks a lot, but meltdowns hit different. I’m 23 and the worst one I had was two summers ago when I was 21. My dad and stepmom told me they were going out for a while and they ended up being gone all day without answering their phones. This usually isn’t a problem, but I was having a bad day with my anxiety so my brain kept telling me something terrible had happened to them. At the same time, my dog had just had surgery on his nose and he wasn’t supposed to be running around a lot. So I took him outside to pee at one point, while still trying to reach my parents. I didn’t take his leash cuz he was tired and he’ll usually just go and come inside, but unfortunately... he found a stick. When he finds a stick, he will not come near you and he’ll run when you come near him because he wants to play. All the built up anxiety hit me like a train and I freaked out. I was screaming, crying and swearing on my FRONT LAWN in broad daylight, trying to get him to stop running around and freaking out that he was going to die. When I finally got him inside and caught my breath, I felt ridiculous and embarrassed and I just wanted my parents. I wish I had this advice when that happened. I could have tried to catch my dog in a more sensible way instead of panicking. I’m sorry it took me this long to find your channel Chloé. You have no idea how much you’ve helped me with my anxiety, seriously.
I am not diagnosed with autism but I am currently seeking diagnosis because I have done A LOT of research that says I am autistic (I also wrote a 8 page long lis of everything i relate too and examples from my life) People have always just told me I’m an overly sentimental person (which is kinda true) but I’ve been told I lot things like “ your not a toddler stop crying” or “I feel like no other parents in the world have this difficult of a child” as an example I’m 12 years old and I have family friends that live just down the street from me and they were going to come over, but they had a change of plans and couldn’t come over. I started crying and freaking out and bawling my eyes out on the bathroom floor and they were coming over the next day. After that I was sitting in my room texting my mom who was in the other room, when I’m feeling like this texting is one of the best thing for me because I’ve always had an easier time reading information than hearing it and same with writing more than talking. But she told me to come out and talk to her, I explained that I really couldn’t talk right now and that I didn’t want to here and noise like her voice but she just got really confused and made me come out and talk to her so I just forced out little mumbles as answers and then went back to my room. I think I really need a diagnosis because as I get older and things like social abnormalities and meltdowns become less and less tolerated the misunderstandings I’m going through get worse and worse. Like sometimes people think I’m really mad at them when really I thought we were just talking or people get mad at me for not knowing when to stop or start talking. But I don’t know how to tell my mom that I want a diagnosis because I’m afraid she will think I’m just attention seeking.
I'm so sorry. I hope you know that your struggles are completely valid and from what it sounds like to me, it's very likely you might be autistic. I can relate to the struggles of not having a formal diagnosis because I'm a very high-masking individual, I very much don't fit into the ASD stereotypes in most people's minds and as a result I didn't find out I was on the spectrum until I was 12, which doesn't sound old I know, but years of masking had done quite a lot of damage. My family was quite resistant, not because they're considerably ableist or anything but just because of autism misrepresentation in the media and how I wasn't the autism archetype, so my formal diagnosis took a long time. BUT once I knew I was autistic, slowly parts of myself and my past that I'd never understood made sense, and I could start slowly making my life easier outside of home. I was validated in the knowledge of being autistic, and I was lucky enough to have a highly supportive school and very accepting friends. I know what it feels like to be afraid to tell your mum, but with time she might come to accept it, and if very worst comes to very worst you might just have to wait until you're 18. However, away from her, you can still tell people you're autistic and there might be accommodations they can make for you even without an official diagnosis. Self-diagnosis is valid. At the end of the day, nobody else lives inside of your brain, and nobody else actually knows how hard some things might be for you (e.g. change, correct social etiquette, talking/texting - I relate to all of the ones you mentioned). If you like hugs, here's one internet hug from across the world, and if you don't, here's a promise that I accept you and I hope you find acceptance in your home life :)
This made me cry. I always thought I was attached to things because I was childlike or a hoarder. I had a severe meltdown because I lost my ring a month ago and this video explains everything. Thanks
this a perfect example of a meltdown, i have felt this feeling too,i lost a plush bear that i got when i was born and my world was frozen,i have autism and I think that your videos really help.
I have a dollar shop spinner ring that I wear at work in place of my engagement ring, and it is really important I only take it off to wash my hands and yesterday I misplaced it and holy moly I was like lead somache instantly lucky I was able to keep thinking logically and find it quickly but man I would have had a huge meltdown if I had if lost it.
Oh gosh. I thought there was something wrong with me for getting attached to things so easily. That’s something I work so hard to mask all the time. I’m not autistic, but I do have ADHD. I wonder if that’s an overlapping trait. Nonetheless this made me feel like I can accept that part of myself
I've had this exact meltdown over a ring that has more meaning than life itself too me. It had disappeared no matter how many time I had taken it off and kept it in a safe place this day my brain could not comprehend what I had done. It was just gone and boom! Im still not diagnosed im almost 28. My life is still in shambles but your videos have helped me so much. The explanation of the waves makes so much sense. No wonder why they are the only things that calm me. (I'm watching something else chaotic without me being overwhelmed.. so soothing) Thank you for being the amazing teacher/leader im so proud of you!
I’m 23 and binging your videos and I still have meltdowns! They have gotten better and I have found other ways to cope and communicate my needs! But they still happen and my friends and partners always have a hard time processing and dealing with them. That’s the hardest part for me.
I’m SO happy you found the ring in the end! It IS a big deal to lose something that important to you. I also lost a favourite special ring of mine and it even got run over by a car 😭 But with a jewellers help we remade it into a necklace I have today! It’s perfectly fine to take breaks to just cry and scream and hyperventilate but it’s also a wonderful thing when you can come up from the ashes and do something with that intense emotion. Thank you for sharing Chloe 💗
I know this video is 3ish years old, but I feel very called out. I've said so many things said in this video almost word for word. I'm just shouting in my room "yes exactly!!!"
Within the last week I was searching for something that was on my desk. Of course, I was having trouble finding it. After I bit I started to get very frustrated and felt like a melt down could be starting, luckly I found it shortly later and things went back to normal. I also hate getting rid of things. About all my life I've had people say "You need to get rid of that, you don't need it anymore!". I keep whatever it is till one day I decide on my own if I want to keep it anymore or not.
Chloe, this is a wonderful video. I love how you described your meltdown like the ocean waves 🌊; I never thought of it that way. This video is definitely worth sharing. 🦋✨
The metaphor lover in me LOVES THIS VIDEO SO MUCH. The way you poetically spoke about the waves and everything... And it was also very informative because, admittedly, I've heard of meltdowns before but I've never really taken the time to sit down and watch something about them. So, I know it's old but thanks for making this
Recently diagnosed 30 year old autistic lady over here. My worst meltdowns as a growup were a sobbing disaster at my job because they didn't understand what I wanted to say. And the other one was me crying at the bus because i forgot my water bottle in a travel bus and thought i would never see it again. I completely undersatnd being super attached to objects that have a special meaning...
I'm actually really happy I found this video as I recently had what I consider to be a really bad meltdown. I've had similar situations in the past but this one was way more intense then all of them combined. It's a horrific and scary experience, everything she said in this video is very accurate. I just remember crying and having absolutely no control over my emotions. It messed me up for the entire night because even when I was done and feeling better I was completely drained both emotionally and physically.
I kept thinking i never experienced meltdowns but now you have explained it, i realise i do. The other day, i began freaking out because the little gem on my favourite pair of earrings fell off and i began panicking and then i realised my earring was broken and i just began crying so much. My nan said i was overreacting but like i had my entire outfit planned in my mind and because i couldn't complete it, i cried and i just didn't want to wear anything else.
I have meltdowns when my sisters get into my room and trash it when it was so clean before. And then I wait fifty years for motivation to clean it again
Absolutley incredible topic on this subject. Meltdowns are pure chaos but are never permanent. I’ve always wondered if they are only exclusive to autistics or they can be experienced by everybody, because I know anyone can experience a panic attack and at first look don’t really look that different. I’ve had several panic attacks throughout my life and the last time I experience something that I could label as a meltdown was when I was on an airplane to Japan and I was crying in the toilet because I thought I permanently damaged my hearing because the plane was so loud and I was on it for so long. Fortunately I recovered, but I now have a paranoid of it now and have worn earplugs on planes ever since, because I’m scared of hearing loss causing me permanent suffering.
Wow this made me cry because I’ve also had a similar meltdown over losing my phone with all my pictures from Hawaii and the birth of my son on it and my service dog’s puppy pictures on it too. My husband thought I was crazy for wanting to use a giant magnet a comb the bottom of the riverbed for my lost phone. We never found it but I’m glad he at least supported me in my crazy autistic way and rented a kayak so we could try to find it. Thank you for validating my experience for me. And I’m so glad your family helped you to find your ring!! 🥰🌸🙌
I’m in my 50’s and I still have meltdowns. I am somewhat better at controlling them than when I was young, but I can still be pushed to beyond my coping skills and boom… meltdown.
You make me have faith on myself. Thank you. I have been having multiple meltdowns over the same thing for like a few months now, so I’m very lucky to have seen this video. No really, never have I been more thankful and now-
It is not about age. It’s a state of mind and state of wellness. I have had meltdowns Discrimination against me for being different. Not understanding my intentions or abilities. They don’t try to get close to me. I reach out and get silence. I know what’s happening. I’m sick of being alone and not getting any investment. I’m stuck inside my head at times . My family is dead. Thanks for the notice on this topic. I wish I had support. I got called an asshole. I’m a lot like you.
I started crying 😢. Meltdowns sure do feel like that. It feels like my brain is swollen and I literally cannot think before I say or act. I relate the most to the brain imploding example.
Chole, I so understand how you feel. It is true that we ALL can get "caught up" in the waves and riptides of depression, stress, and anxiety in life! I have been going through some bad health problems and I have to remember too that pity, depression, worry, and anxiety towards my situation will only be hurtful and not helpful. I also know how you feel about losing something special too. I lost a Locket that my Late Grandma gave me when I was 13 years old and I am very upset about it. Also, I too have STRONG sentimental feelings toward the Toys my Late Dad and my Late Grandparents gave me as a Child. I have a Raggedy Andy Doll that is in bad need of a Doll Hospital that my Late Dad gave me when I was 6 years old and I just can not part with it. My Late Dad also had a Gem Stone collection that I now keep in his memory. Family is so important. I too watch T.V. shows over and over again that comfort me like The Brady Bunch, Little House on the Prairie, and Peyos 1980s Smurfs. If any Disney Shows are available, I would watch them too. And yes, I so agree, "A mustard seed of Faith" as Jesus says is what it takes! I am so happy that you found your ring:)! Chole, I just Love ALL your videos:)!
I'm 62. Meltdowns STILL get me in trouble, though I can usually avoid them. But if there is no escape, LOOK OUT HERE I COME! (If you ever hear bad words coming out of my mouth, run, it's probably too late.)
Once I misplaced my blankie. I was an adult (early 20s, I'm 25 now) but I'm extremely attached to the blanket that my aunt gave me when I was born (it used to belong to her). The edges are all worn and soft, and its my texture go-to for sensory stimming and/or grounding. I had a meltdown over it. I was in undergrad at the time, and my roommate was like, 'it's not that bad, it's just a blanket, you can find it in the morning,' but I couldn't relax until I found it hours later. Apparently I dropped it in the common laundry area of our dormitory. To this day I still can't sleep without it, and I have to have it with me most of the time just so I can touch it when I need to. I'm trying to find some replacements for when I'm in the classroom or at work, but it's been really difficult, especially when, in the middle of class, I have that need that I just need to touch my blanket.
When I was 16 (2014) I got prescribed EFFECTOR XR for my "extreme overreactions and emotions" I went off it at the start of 2019 for surgery then have to go back on them cue me starting my autism diagnosis process and realising I wasn't hysterical or a drama queen I was having meltdowns. EFFECTOR doesn't stop them 100% but it helps. Being overdramatic in some cases I think is a way of explaining away autism is girls.
Dear princess aspien, i really liked the story about your ring. I have an item that I would really like to fix, it is my miniature keyboard but I need someone to help me fix it. I was really sad when it stopped working and your story inspired me to do something about it. Do you or the general public have any idea where to start or what to do? Thanks, sending you big hugs and lots of love 💚
Eventhough they said you needed to get over it, they still went with you to find it so they were supportive of you not being over it.. that support is the thing that is the key but that’s what people are missing when they have meltdowns, being able to deal with things does require help from other people’s understanding.
Ok, so I needed to see this today. I don’t get out the house much coz I’m mostly bed bound with physical disabilities that I have alongside my autism, but today was a big deal coz I had to go and have blood tests followed by my second covid vaccine. I had made a plan broken down into steps to prepare all week to cope with this, and then this morning as I was about to leave the house I discovered that my chewigem item that helps me cope with being out of the house (and out of all of my stim toys and stuff this is the one item that specifically seems to help in that situation, and it works perfectly to hold in my left hand while driving my wheelchair with my right hand and everything. No other item I have seems to work for me the same somehow). Now this thing is under £20 to replace from Amazon and nothing compared to a ring that holds sentimental value from your childhood, but it was the end of the world in the moment for me exactly like you described it feeling in the video, and it’s validating to hear someone else describing that feeling. Thank you. I’m seriously sitting here watching the video crying. I’m glad you found your ring.
Meltdowns - I've had two in nearly 40 years. I've had some trauma triggers too. NTs seem to have more trouble with this than I do. I have loads of sensory issues. However, I've always done self care in relation to my sensory issues - always (at least since my mid teens)--for example, if I am spending a weekend with family or friends, I always take time out to be alone (always, always, always) and I go to bed if it's near bedtime and I am beginning to feel the least bit cranky. I'll leave the room if I feel cranky but not sleepy and spend time in the bathroom washing my hands, running cool water on my wrists, splashing water on my face and so on. Shopping with family I'll "try" something on just to go in a dressing stall with a seat to sit down and be away from people for a few moments. (I wear sunglasses, only wear clothes that are comfortable, and so on.) I can dissociate briefly while out to dinner with a crowd or in any group situation and that operates as a mini break. (Dissociation can be an autistic superpower--it's said we dissociate more easily--if we learn to do it and come out of it at will.) Cranky is an early warning signal for me for some of situations where in the past I might have had a meltdown. And just as importantly... RET--Rational Emotive Therapy (book: Feeling Good) for the panic/irrational aspect of melting down, particularly for times when I've lost something or someone wrecks my car or my car breaks down or I get lost on the way to an important meeting. Adhering to RET (it was a whole lot of work for the first couple of years) seemed to rewire my brain and allows me to manage these kinds of situation with calm (usually). Your father's "what now" is what I am able to do for myself before the meltdown kicks in and that stops the wave. These two things--self care and RET--have made the difference for me. I understand that might not work for everyone (because we're all wired differently), but I think like with a lot of things with autism, we might be able to find work arounds like I have. (For example, I still stim, but they're not noticeable stims like they once were; however, they are just as effective.) I self regulate much better than I co-regulate with neurotypicals. Why have I worked so hard? Because meltdowns are exhausting, they're demoralising, they're mood destroyers, and they can hurt relationships. Perhaps some of the resistance to talk about this is because no one wants to be thought of someone who loses control. This constant talk (yes, there are loads of videos about meltdowns and people claiming there's nothing to be done) could put me off telling people I'm autistic; instead, I quality that I don't have meltdowns.
As a person who can relate to people who can have meltdowns, it might some days never be easy to keep your head up and stay positive to everything around you as and all I can say is this, keep doing you despite the fact that some days are negative there are also some positive days out there to look forward to even if it seems like a lifetime away from you.
Awwww so awesome. My 10 yr old lost a ring I gave her and cried and cried and we went and looked through straw to find it and did. Now I understand how important that was to her. She was 8 at the time.
I had a meltdown recently because I washed all my favorite clothes together with a green pen. Also when I stood too close to the propane space heater and melted the back of my real down coat-literal melt down.
I've learned over time, even before my diagnosis, how to avoid most meltdowns thankfully. I fully realize though that I am uniquely blessed in this aspect, that i can fend off my own head for a small time, so make it a point to not take the experiences of others for granted. Better put I have learned how to not display distress until I can exit stage left to a toilet, ect. However that doesn't mean I never have meltdowns. I in fact still do. For me it feels... odd is the best way I can put it. I mentally can envision these needles, big ones like knitting needles, rending my head apart. I feel trapped in a bubble with my rapid fire thoughts pinging off it and ricocheting in every direction. None of my thoughts can get out unless I force them, but every little bit of everything annoying can get in. It just ramps it up. Outwardly this won't display in my body language. I just act tired, high, sick and introverted. In this state I have an extreme aversion to people (LOL), which can makes me come off rude and stand offish to the extreme, if addressed. Thankfully I have manage to mastered the universal "go the hell away" or "I'm deathly ill" vibe so most people do just that. Most of the time I can escape somewhere alone before my sensory overload becomes a full on meltdown (or shutdown, I have both). If not it's a show for a sure fact.
I m so Glad the my not the only one with anxiety attack and meltdowns I also have panic attack too !!!! I feel like shadered pices going everywhere at once !!!! This what tapen to me my real mom theraned me about my hair and tramates me !!! But someone didn't know I can't read lips and I didn't know what they where saying and now it's wors witch cased me the anztiy attack and meltdowns and panic attack too and a night mair too so instead of making things better now its wors !!! What can I say to this prison !!! Help clowie sorry for spelling rong I have dislexea
I had similar experiences, one of them was with a ring too, when I go out I always wear jewels, and especially a black ring. sometimes I don't know where it is so I panick a bit when I can't find it. ( I find it most of the time and once I sewed a little black ring at the last minut since I was going out and didn't found the ring. )
The fact now that in 2023 she’s come so far and she’s now engaged and getting married to the love her life and has moved out and is renovating a house with him hog so so huge such a huge milestone proud is an understatement
I have extremely similar mannerisms to you, just on point, I've never related to anyone that much.😊🤯 The thing is I'm not normal enough to be normal and autistic enough to be autistic.🤷🏻♀ Glad I found you today, I felt like am not the only one🌷
I had a meltdown because my brother used my computer and I thought it would be a great idea to lock myself in my room and hide in the closet for about an hour and I was with my grandma, who doesn't think girls can be autistic, and she was convinced that I was upset about my brother taking my computer, because I'm gay and didn't want people to find out. At that point I had gone non verbal and couldn't tell her that she was wrong, but it's kind of funny to me
I had a big melt down when I accidentally crushed my iPod in the car door (my music is everything) I was too broke to buy another. I couldn’t calm down for hours until I finally decided to sell my $500 gun just to replace my iPod.but melt downs can’t be controlled until there’s a solution to the crisis at hand
When I get anxious while out and about, the skin connecting my fingers to my palms gets...itchy? Uncomfortable? And I have to stretch out my hands and close them over and over with my hands in front of me n it’s most of the time while in a crowd of people so lots of people see me do this, which makes me need to do it more n my boyfriend/baby daddy has seen me do this and always looks confused but ultimately knows it’s a nervous reaction to something n asks what’s up
Just had a fucking awful meltdown today , I don’t know I just feel so seen right now IDK, had to leave my home due to DV I am in a new bed new house and I finally just snapped when an uncle I don’t like just started saying some racest stuff and i got angry broke down in a crying mess thank you I really needed this ❤
I understand that huge meltdown I have this necklace that my grandpa gave me and I love playing with it, and if I ever lost it, would feel the end of the world
One time when I was like 4 my parents tried putting me in the "naughty corner" when I did some minor thing considered naughty that wasnt bad enough for an actual punishment, and I screamed and cried so hard that I burst blood vessels in my face. Does this sound like a meltdown? I've had similar things happen all my life.
One time I was at school in class and some persons started mowing there lawn and it was irritating me I couldn't focus it felt like the noise was the only thing I could hear just going through my head so loud it was painful it gave me a headache and nobody else seemed bothered I couldn't take it so I shut down I couldn't talk I couldn't move I just closed my eyes into my elbow and waited it out the teacher asked me if I was OK I managed to shake my head they asked if I wanted to leave class I shook my head by I didn't think I could move enough to get out of the class by whilst I shut down my body feels really alien and it feels like there's no gravity my senses where jut mashed I wasn't crying I was just silent the lawn mower eventually went away and I slowly recovered but this keeps happening can anyone relate
It completely depended on the situation. If it was my mum or my dad who would be the cuddler, than I'd often take it. But sometimes I just need/ed to stay in my room and hide away with no one talking to me or bothering me. Having reassurance that someone was there if I needed though was so, so important. Sometimes I want to be left alone, but I don't want to FEEL alone. x
I never understood what it was at the time, but recently I had a close call with a loved one and had a meltdown. I couldn't move from the door I was crying for an hour till I heard a knock checked the door nothing was there, so I sat on the couch, and cried until my parents came home with a kid, and I had to perk up but it was so diffcult at the time. My dad even pulled me in and told me the same thing. Which didn't sound right to me at the time I was still worried about my close loved one that I didn't wanna think about anything else. I knew for the kids sake I had to straighten up the kid called me out a couple of times. Thankfully he's ok but I'm still dealing qith the aftermath of the meltdown and feel selfish cause all I want is time with him, and I feel it's limited cause he came down to see family. I've always wondered if autism is a reason I'm still having feelings after this.
In 5th grade I was working on a group project with like 5 other girls and we had one more day to turn it in and we hadn't even started so everyone was yelling and bumping into each other and I was already stressed out because I had never missed an assignment and I just collapsed on the floor in front of my entire class and sobbed loudly and they were all weirded out because I like never talked. Haha good times
