@@chrisharris2367 Why you acting like some women aint toxic or refused to listen to anything they dont already agree with. Some women are also absolute mental nutcases that should be seeking help before any relationship. Some people are just beyond any therapeutic approach. Doesnt matter how much you provide or take the lead. The world isnt in black and white, but a myriad of colors
@@chrisharris2367 It's easier to simply be where I am respected. If she is smart and cares about our relationship, she will make the adjustment and everything goes back in order. As it should be. Asserting dominance all the time is exhausting.
She's actually right. 9/10 when a woman cheats she stopped loving you a while ago but was waiting for another branch to swing to. Men will cheat and still be in love for the most part. BUT when he stop LOVING you, he's gone instantly. This is for single ppl. Married men will stay because the law is designed to hurt men for leaving.. or being left. That's another subject
It's really hard for me to wrap my mind around the notion that someone can love you but continuously do things to hurt you. I thought that when you loved someone you cared about how they feel?
@@brwnserenity2351 I can see how it's seems that way for women. Men don't view sex the same. We look at exclusive access to your "womb" as a woman's love for us, but we offer protection and provision as our love to women. Sex from us is mostly just physical. We can have good sex with women we abhor. Of course it's better when we also love a woman, but that doesn't stop our natural pull to want to plow every attractive woman we see. The main reason we don't do it is because we don't wanna hurt our women. This is all generally speaking
Wife of 5 yrs started cheating and blame my past (10+ yrs ago) on why I’m getting the “karma” I’m getting… 😂. I can laugh now but gd that s*** hurted like a mf to find out. (Although she still denies it to this day but suggested while her and the kids outta town, to just get a girlfriend and just stop inquiring in to why she keeps getting caught up in lies 😂😂😂! Awesome 👏. Although I would like to just start plowing thru shii, i have more self respect for myself to get loose like that… I’m cool. And although she act like she still wanna be together… Divorce pending…✌🏾✌🏾 I guess her boyfriend wasn’t all that she thought he would be lol… and wanna come lay up under me being all nice and loving all of a sudden 😂… then got the nerve to gimme that ran thru, raggedy ass, gaping womb knowing we ain’t got it in for it to be like that in months…😂 🤔yea keep that😷🤢🥴
Cheating is so draining…. Like when u really love ur man / woman honestly I just crave that person on the daily I literally can’t do it , won’t do it and will leave first. Men will be men and I understand we will never be the same … we not made to be . But all that sneaking to call , sex hang out etc esp @ a certain age but I respect ✊ a man stance on this totally 💯
I was just about to comment that until I saw yours. You men are brought up to be the provider the bread winner the strong one but then when you do such women complain if you get upset and will have the nerve to call you a b*tch then flip if you call her one. I'm the baby And only girl of five older brothers. You deserve to feel!! Our foolishness is a NO NO.
@@lebmc2148 As long you get it you do understand doll. Don't forget to look in the mirror and tell yourself you're a bada$$. Hugs to you and thank you for keeping the world going round❤❤
Don't communicate your needs, then looks for it else where, relationship ends. Rinse and repeat. Is this supposed to be a flex??? You leave faster mentally because YOU don't know how to sustain a relationship. These type of people need to stay out of relationships.
@@didakeepa Yet there are men who have been in fulfilling relationships and marriages with women and vice versa. Stop with the BS. It's ok if you hate women. There are other options out there for you baby ❤️
When he said “we don’t tell you what you’re messing up on. We just go find it” he just described narcissistic behavior. That’s not something all men do, he just explained he carries narc traits. A balanced and mature man can tell a woman what he needs and give it a chance. This guy sounds emotionally toxic and he actually thinks all men do this just because HE does. Classic mid-grade narcissist. And what an annoying feminine cadence to his speaking voice with that spitty mouth yuck
@Isopura I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. No that is not men in general. I’ve been married for 21 years and we’ve had many conversations and a few trips to counseling over the years about what BOTH of us needed. If he left like that he would’ve anyway. A man who loves and values a woman will definitely try.
That's true. The lack of communication from Men is what makes them miss out on a lot. They end up in terrible relationships or miss out on an amazing woman both from the lack of communication 🤦🏽♀️.
What I notice with relationship channels is nobody is actually listening they are always trying to one up each other. Who cares who leaves first. He basically said men sabotage the relationship and wait for her to say something. Instead of communicating he just keeps leaving a trail of broken hearts. That's not a mature way of handling things. "Act" like I'm crying.
At all. I can’t be with someone that doesn’t communicate effectively and we resolve the issues Relationships are and can be hard but if you are willing to communicate your feelings and what is going on and come to a resolution or at least try I think things could actually 💪 work out for the better . Stop bottling stuff in
It's true, some women will listen to respond and make it all about them instead of listening to comprehend. So if a man is dealing with that kind of woman, he's gonna check out mentally and emotionally.
The fact that a lot of men are on here agreeing with what he just said, is sad. It shows how childish and immature some men are. Instead of being honest you choose to mess with woman’s self esteem and wonder why women act the way the do. Smh. Y’all create monsters by doing that.
The monster is there before the man is introduced. The monster grows the more a man messes up. The monster dies when the woman accepts hes human hes not perfect and chooses love and forgiveness over hate and destruction. Most people not just men people want their cake and eat it too. So thats why they cheat.
Part of the reason we don't talk to women about the things that we would like them to change...working out...reciprocation, etc is because we know they aren't likely to listen and because they believe they're already perfect with no need to change or consider the man's feelings.
@@trustme7660 I've literally had that same discussion with a few women over the years. To some women, the belief is held that we are incapable of feeling emotion in the same ways that they can. We may process it differently but some think that the hearts of men can't feel pain at all. The absolute lack of empathy is ironic considering women are reputed to be able to sense, understand and respond to emotions better than we as men can.
@@mellowknight9350 even now I try to find common ground to talk to women I get trashed told I'm just like the other guys and then I ask how can you women class men the same but hate it done to you
No disrespect, but men painted that picture themselves. It's other men telling men they can't have emotions and then on top of that, yall say women are the emotional creatures. Which one is it?
He's absolutely right, I did the same thing. I rather have her break-up with me, and I act like it bothers me, that way I wouldn't deal with the drama, if I broke up with her. Did that with my last ex lol, and worked great 👍🏾.
I’d a cousin growing up who said this all the time. He would start behaving badly so the gal can breakup with him than breakup with her bc he believed breaking up with a woman is bad karma for him. Well, I guess he didn’t know how karma works in terms of bad relationships and how you treat someone. When it was all said and done, the gal he really wanted to be with, couldn’t wait to come to the U.S and reunite with her, wanted nothing to do with him when they reconnected. He said the entire meeting was strange and she wanted no parts of him
That's the problem "change" If you have to change who you are for the relationship then it will not work. You two should be *communicating and growing* together. There is a difference. Your man or woman should be a stress reliever not causing stress.
@@unapologeticallyblack4159 I believe men do communicate....the problem is men get tired of repeating themselves and then that's when they start shutting down. Why you going to continue to communicate about something if the person is not listening or responding to what you're telling them. *There is a difference*
@@unapologeticallyblack4159 I believe men do communicate....the problem is men get tired of repeating themselves and then that's when they start shutting down. Why you going to continue to communicate about something if the person is not listening or responding to what you're telling them. *There is a difference*
@@calvinmack7124 so are these just personal experiences? Just because YOU went through that DOES NOT mean that thats how every marriage/relationship is..You experience is not LAW and you dont speak for everybody..so whats the point here? What is the argument?
@@unapologeticallyblack4159 smh.....who said I'm speaking for everyone. I don't recall saying that. Yes...these are my experiences and other experiences from men I know. Most comments online are people speaking from their experiences....🙄
childish. "we not telling you what you messing up on. we just go find it somewhere else. " this is the problem. no one said you have to stay, but you are leading a woman on if you are just with her until you find that something else, or until you push her to the point that she wants to break up. Communicate, like an adult, what issues you have in the relationship, and leave the other person to work on that if they so choose. but if you CHOOSE to never articulate your emotions or problems, my G, sounds like a personal damn problem🤷🏽♀️ it's called emotional intelligence and yall big strong men is LACKING.
the problem there is that men expect to find one woman to fulfill all their needs. you cant, and you wont. thats why you need friends, family, social circles, business associates, and etc. your woman cannot be your absolute everything. she cannot complete you. men are always trying to do that, which is why they get disappointed.
She literally just proved his point. Y'all want honesty. Y'all wanna know how we feel and what we're thinking. And then as women, well black women. Turn around and say no. I disagree. This is what you want. And this is how you feel. This is madness on all levels. And this is why he said we check out mentally first. Yet bw camt figure out why that mixer was empty AF. We're over it.
@@frantzjean-philippe4524 pretend he’s a woman saying what he said and see if you think it’s not fkd up behavior. You can’t be a good person doing wat he said You just gonna go step out and get it that’s what Good people do🤨
@@downbad2874 be women don't really listen when black men talk. Stop thinking with your feelings and think with your brain. Life will get easier for you
It's interesting if I communicate how I feel I'm told it's my problem and I need to work on it but if treat her the same way I'm told I never really cared about her needs you can't win
That's bigg facts..bigg facts 💯 But at the same time she is telling & showing you what she thinks when you communicated to her..1) it's your problem..2) you need to work on it..& last but most important she never really cared bout "you!!"
When I communicate I tend to hurt their feelings even when I say it in the nicest way possible. When I dont communicate it's I don't care. It's all mind games. And then they say I play too many games when I don't commit. Can't win!
But unfortunately due to modern day society,women listen to the jarbled up garbage from feminism and also become brainwashed and think that they can be independent,that they don’t need a man and can make money without one.So normals nice guys get rejected at the nightclubs a lot and these foolish modern women give their attentions to the alpha male aka the stupid dumbasses that won’t treat them,so these people won’t pay as much attention,won’t care and love them as much.Of course these women know this but they just don’t care as much.
So a women can tell you about how she’s feeling or her day at work or what her life is like and you listen like a goddamn professor.But when you do the same she’s sees you as a weak,spineless,coward.I mean if the only thing girls/women do after we ask them if everything is ok and the main answer we get back is I’m fine ok cool.Because when our girlfriends/partners ask us how we’re doing and we say the same thing back learn to deal with it Because you females don’t really care about what goin on with y’all boyfriends/husbands y’all care more about y’all selves then y’all do care about us.
I’ve learned to openly communicate when I’m mentally checking out because I don’t have time for 1 million phone calls saying what happened what’s wrong?
Men rarely if ever communicate issues because we all know your feels are irrelevant. Most modern relationship have the happy wife, happy life bs attacted to it. Men will generally stay silent to avoid arguments, so yeah, men try to make it work just to keep peace. That's why women typically leave men more than men leave women. Trust and believe, if you bring stress to a man he's already left. He's waiting for you to say it's over.
What if a woman is asking a man to open up to her and tell her what's going in because she genuinely cares about his feelings and wants to resolve whatever issue there may be, but he chooses not communicate his feelings because he perceives it as being weak. So, he checks out on a woman who sincerely cared for him and wanted to understand his feelings?
@@vdykes8598 that would require her to be able to handle criticism. I wasn't really referring to men wanting to open up on an emotional level. If it did come down to that let him do it on his own and don't force it.
Totally agree w/t Prince here, but unfortunately most of them can’t handle criticism and feel the need to be right at all cost; turn it around on us or play the victim.
The immaturity in relationships is at an all time high. Emotional and mental intelligence is not. This childish way of thinking is a mess. Smh Not communicating will always be a CHOICE. The mindset of some is just pitiful.
Factual.. we'll wait until she cuts it off so that she feels she made that decision and stick to it. When a man leaves, she doesn't. The process just drags out way longer
It’s because certain women don’t understand that their attitude will turn us off faster than anything. For example if you’re loyal cook clean give me great sex etc that’s great but if you have an attitude problem or don’t know how to control your mouth none of that other stuff matters to me. Women will think all those other things outweigh their attitude but as a man committed to a woman if you can’t talk to me nice you might as well have shit on your shirt bc that’s how Ima look at you when you wanna be all lovey or want me to do something for you.
Women emotionally check out faster and men mentally check out faster. Most men fall in love fast for women because it's hard for men to get women in general, we have very little options. For women, they have a abundance mindset and more options to choose from.
Facts bro even average,fat,ugly, broke women have more options than a average man. A woman is always wanted no matter who she is or what she look like.its some guy that rather have a gf or wife than to be lonely
REAL-TALK SMH.. LISTEN, I KNEW A FAT-CHICK IN THE HOOD FROM BROOKLYN-BROWNSVILLE BACK IN THE DAY, WHO LOOKED LIKE A HISPANIC-VERSION OF THE GREEN SHREK GIANT.. AND SHE HAD MORE POPULAR DUDE'S THAN YOU CAN COUNT ON YOUR FINGERS 4 TIME'S OVER.. AND MEN WAS JUST TAKING IT DOWN LIKE CUP'S OF FREE HENNESSY AT A BAR SMH.. SAD, BUT HEY, IT'S LIFE!🤦🏾🥱💯
But when she makes the decision to leave, some men say okay.. then she will see ur not really fighting and want to talk & y’all get back n the relationship and try it again” years later … just b complacent n it
Went through this with my ex. I asked her to go kayaking, visit my house sometimes and don't buy me gifts. She didn't do anything that I asked. She worked 5 miles from my house and visited once in 7 months and had me going 30 miles out of my way every weekend to see her. She asked me to quit my career and follow her around with her military career smh. She asked me to go vegan and change my religious beliefs. That scale wasn't balanced at all! Her requests were life altering requests while I felt like mine were simple. She constantly pressured me to do things she asked of me while I never made an issue of my requests.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe you're naturally just a more easygoing guy but you definitely should find a less self centered woman who isn't going to take advantage of that part of you. You deserve to be respected in your relationship too.
I got out of that and haven't been looking to get back in it. That was back in 2018, I've been single since. I'd rather maintain my peace than to be in a dysfunctional relationship. I believe in compatability over compromise. If you have to compromise everything then maybe you aren't compatible. It's better for me to focus more on things that I enjoy vs wasting time in the dating pool, I'm over it.
@@jasminharris3513 I worked hard enough to earn everything that I want. I don't need anything and it was wasteful of her to buy me useless things. I told her to save her money and she bought me a $300 tablet smh. She got mad at me because "I didn't appreciate it" but the truth is she didn't listen. I already have laptops, desktops, ipods and phones, why I need a tablet? She created a narrative about me being mad that she bought me gifts when my issue was her disregard for my wishes. I'm a simple man but she didn't know that because she don't listen smh.
I agree with everything except the "we won't tell you" part. I always let them know what I need them to do. Now if they wanna do other things and ignore that I will let them know Im losing interest then I just move on.
This is the only way to move in a relationship. Communication is the foundation which everything else is built on. Without that, theres no relating, no relation and no relationship.
Thank you. At least you're mindful enough to present the issue to the person BEFORE just leaving. It gives the significant other a fair opportunity to attempt to course correct or not.
Women take longer to give up on a man , but when she is done she is done for good. When a man leaves he leaves her instead of working on the issue, he thinks the grass is greener somewhere else only to get there and realise he had it good at home. Another option will always be more fun, because you don't have responsibilities there. A man may check out faster, but most of them always return because they know they didn't give it their all. A woman may stay longer and try everything, because the day she wals away she knows there was nothing left to do and her exit is forever. There are plenty of men and woen to choose from, but a good quality partner isn'y easy to find that's why men always return. Women realise they need to love themsekves more than that relationship so she leaves him for herself not another man.
Her thinking is super flawed: if I change myself in a relationship, my mental is already starting to warping. And women are the only ones thinking there’s trash out there after a relationship
I agree with both of them actually. A lot of times men aren’t there mentally/emotionally to begin with. And if they ever are, they don’t usually speak on what they need to go forward happily in the relationship. Like the guy said, they usually just go elsewhere and find it instead of communicating within their own relationship. Which is scary and the reason why I’m not quick to jump into relationships. A man will just cheat on u and treat u badly and find someone else while wasting your time. They wait for u to break up with them instead of just expressing their unhappiness and leaving smh My needs weren’t met in my relationship and after expressing it many times I finally left. I found myself mentally checking out then I finally made the leap to physically check out. It’s difficult and somewhat scary, but I moved on, starting a new chapter of my life and it feels great. Time to get back to ME. My ppl know what I was going through, and now that I moved on, unpacking and decorating in my new place, everyone is so happy for me and the congrats are pouring in left and right. Cheers to a new life and new adventures 🥂🏙💋
I agree with homie, i let women break up with me also. i do that becaause ive epressed how I feel about things once and if she dont listen I check out with no desire in going back and forth with her..
The energy you emote is the same energy you will receive back. Lol so if you’re checked out of the relationship and you’re expecting it to get better from the other person it won’t. 😂 She feels you’re checked out and is waiting for the right time for her to end it. Y’all wonder why marriages are so messed up and divorce rates are so high it’s because people don’t want to put in effort to make it work. You can’t tell someone else what to do you as an individual have to put in max effort on your part and vice versa. Checking out will never save a relationship or get what you want from the other person. 😂 If your teammate checks out of the game how will you win? 😂
Right he gonna checkout every time shit get hard. That’s weakness . Where’s the growth? These men want doormats not women who challenge them . They call us headaches.
I agree with the woman on this one. We may emotionally check out because we feel as tho our feelings, cares & concern aren’t viewed as as important. Whoever we’re always always there mentally in order to take care of business as usual.
Mature solution; Communication and engagement in your partner. Entitled child; I'll just go find another toy to play with, not engage in or communicate with, un-till I've also broken them by not engaging in the relationship, communicating like an adult or at least be mature enough to break up when you leave mentally, rather than wait for her to do the dirty work. Grow tf up!
She right about one! We definitely don’t check out first! The reason being, we think of time as wealth investment and always don’t want to waste it on something we know doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life. Women check out because of the small things and figured they can always get more value elsewhere while most likely walking with half.
@@jsanders9975 that’s a possibility bro. That has also happened to me as well, but that’s the exception not the rule. Women typically check out first before they leave. They think about it for months and do a host of things prior. So yes you probably did do it so have I but we cannot make the exception the rule.
I think she should listen. If he loves you, cares and really wants to be with you, sure he’ll stay in the ring mentally. Heck he’ll be less likely to stray or he’ll try to make amends. However, men are taught, raised and conditioned different in general, and they do check out to cheat, whether it’s to get you to leave, them setting up their own oop or just to cheat peacefully. They not thinking about you, the relationship you built, or the outcome at that point.
Most men get bashed by women when they share their emotions or communicate the issues they have in a relationship. When a man feels belittled that's when he'll check out and stop communicating his problems
@@MoonMoon-fx1op it's not always talking to every make. It's also listening to what they say. Reading what they type. It's not hard to get a consensus of things if you can pay attention to patterns. I don't understand why it's an issue. What I said is true and you can ask most men you see about expressing their feelings to a woman. Hopefully you're not a woman that lacks accountability cause that's the vibe I'm getting. Like I'm going back and forth with a woman that wants to flip the topic
@@kenewilliams100 I'm a woman. I don't understand how it's lacking accountability cause I asked have you spoken to most men to make a broad statement like that but okay. Have a good one
My ex didn’t tell me when he wanted me to change even though he wasn’t happy. In hindsight he did things to try and make me leave instead of communicating how I could improve. Women want to stay and want you to fix things in order to make the relationship work. Sometimes it’s better to just leave instead of trying to change everything about your partner. I’ve learned to accept people for who they are and if they don’t have the main qualities I want I’m not going to try and mold them into what I want them to be.
Men shouldn't even be emotionally checking in until an extensive period of time has been reached (at least a year and a half). Then we don't even have to worry about checking out. Most chicks won't make it past the vetting process anyway (hence the marriage rates being low).
This was perfect. Meaning Men and Women are doing the same thing. And not communicating it... ( Both are Mentally) checking out. Ending in no fixed relationship for 2 people that are probably actually compatible...
I disagree because I don't change for no woman. He speaks for himself. Second, I communicate with the woman. Also to mention I make an effort to show patience and be supportive. If there is no positive result over time by the woman I'm outro.
That's cold blooded boy! 😯🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️@ " I already found something anyway" 👀👀👀👀 and " we aren't giving women that chance, not telling them what they messed up on, we just go find something else "👉🏾😯😯😯👈🏾 WoOOoOoOOoOoOoOoOOoOW!!!! 👀👀👀👀👀👀 Ladies I hope y'all are taking notes 🗒️✍🏾✏️🖊️✍🏾📝😯
Which gives me the never-ending story of recycled relationship behaviors. It will not matter what option a man "entertains". Those "options" are in reality still other human beings...not a dayum opportunity. Ppl aren't commodities.
Speaking from current experience. A man will not try to communicate his issues in the relationship due to the woman either not comprehending the gravity and seriousness of what the man is having an issue with or them just wanting to be confrontational and pretend like men aren't allowed to feel some type of way. In a women's case it's because they keep finding issues where sometimes there are none. They go from 0-60 in no time over things they don't remember in a day let alone a few hours. Leading only to more disagreements and eventually ceased communication i.e. cheating, break up
A man who thinks like him was never committed to it in the 1st place. Nothing we do is usually short-sighted. It can't be. We're wired to lead. She's absolutely right. Women are statisticly short-sighted in a relationship. Unless they are (for whatever reason) forced to lead. They seek validation more from the world than their husband's. And though we're not as vocal as women, we do talk and clearly express our intentions and expectations and they are written in stone. Everything she said was 100% accurate. I guess he's referring to dating and she's referring to marriage.
Ma'am, listen to him! He is not lying! 🤣🤣🤣 We do it this way because women will not allow us to break up from them... So, we'll wait/ make you tired of us...
Facts, *yes* we mentally check out first, because women are extremely emotional and most of us can deal without the headache. It's really that simple. Ladies, if you learn to be a man's peace, opposed to stressing him out when he comes home from wherever, then you would have us at the palm of your hands. But most of y'all choose to be the opposite, to look good in front of your single girlfriends, who are used to going home alone and suffer in the end everytime. Your gut/intuition will always tell you if he's the man for you. Should that be the case, learn to cook and clean. _☝🏽_
One thing about women is they just have to be right. He's a man telling her exactly what men do and she's telling him he's not right🤦🏽♀️ I honestly see why black women are the least wanted sometimes. We just have to be right about everything to make ourselves feel better. My husband checked me about this eleven years ago. I got it together quick!
He’s basically saying that he’s committed to not working on himself and a low-effort lifestyle. Notice how none with this mentality ever emphasize how they attempted to mitigate the issues in the marriage. Moving on without introspection only means that the result will be the same with new partners and you’ll forever be nomadic because the issue is you.
No matter she said he was gonna disagree. And vs versa. Y'all we have to get off of these online platforms and just live. We'll all figure it out but we have to stop supporting or shall I say stop listening to these types of videos. They keep is stagnant or in one belief. Love life! ❤️
