Anyone can BS anyone with words…a woman can tell a man’s seriousness about her on the resources he invests in her: time, affection, humor, labor, listening, money. If a man isn’t or won’t invest: no need to confront him or discuss it ad naseum, move on!
Awesome video Jonathon!! By the way, in a previous video you had posed the question if we feel you are a pessimist because a viewer said you were a pessimist and you said you regard yourself as a realist. In my opinion, I think you are an optimistic realist. If you were a pessimist, you wouldn’t be on the mission you’re on to help others. The reality is that life isn’t a bowl of cherries. There are a lot of pits in life! LOL But when the rose-colored glasses come off, we can navigate through the pits, own our truth, and still find sweetness. “Live, learn, grow and love” (quote by Lucia Wang)
I have a friend who does all 4 but still finding his footing after a huge life upheaval. We are becoming very dear friends with no “benefits” just over 3 and half months. The best part of this friendship is I won’t fall for dating anyone who can’t be a better friend than him😄 if we workout to something more later great. We had strong attraction in the beginning but feel friends is best for now. I like that he is leading in this way and I have had my family so no rush we are good for each other in a lot of ways and enjoy everything together. Motorcycles disc golf wordle…lol. The trust level is getting so deep and it is something so necessary with our stories
After listing to this I was thinking about all the ways he respects me...I kind of feel like I am living in a Jane Austen film with a true gentle man. I text him how highly respected I feel by his treatment...he replied "you deserve all the respect in the world." total🥰
Jonathon, I agree with your view on stoicism. I think stoicism needs to be balanced with vulnerability. While stoicism builds resilience within oneself, vulnerability builds intimacy with others.
Another profound and accurate approach of how truthful and sincere a connection between a couple should present itself to be. Our paths through life, undoubtedly leads us to these deep lessons and considerations. Thank you, Jonathan, for the light in your counsels. Blessings!🙏
1.Treats you with respect 2. Wants to develop a genuine friendship with you 3. Expresses gratitude to you and for you 4.Expresses his feelings about you.
The movie you are referring to is 'Revolutionary Road.' 2008. Set in the mid-1950s, the Wheelers struggle to cope with their personal problems and the ensuing breakdown in their marriage.
That makes sense Jonathan. My ex cared about me and but I believe since he was an avoidant it was surface level. He generally didn’t talk about his feelings, sometimes he’d mention his fears but I was more emotional and anxiously attached but we also were a long distance relationship which made it even harder.
You should do one on all of the scammers and all of the fake women and men and everything on Facebook and everywhere else and how people get sucked into it really easy
My man and I have been together over 6 months and were talking about the things we've done like golf, lobster fest 🦞 yum, going to local plays and the things we'd like to do and I shared that I was concerned about how much it's all costing. His response was "You're worth it" 🥹🥹🥹✨💖✨ at 60 that's the first time any man ever said that to me. Thank you Lord!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I asked my 2-month person what love was to him. He said “someone who’s loyal”. He’s divorced for several years, she cheated on him. So I’m not totally surprised at that but imho loyalty is an offshoot of genuine love…affection, caring, sacrifice, to my mind are the foundations of love for another person. Hmmmm.
What about the attachment styles and if you’re dealing with a fearful avoidant who has serious childhood trauma? Extremely difficult to interpret if he truly cares for you!
I was there and it didn’t end well. Most avoidants leave you confused & anxious, in my experience best to get out before they discard you because they will once the relationship gets too real and their fears get triggered by it.
@@SherriFlemming I have seen his stuff it’s good. I’m not in that relationship anymore and I won’t do long distance again. That was the first and last time.
Perhaps the reason bond with someone like early caregiver , is also a feeling of familiarity. Not just a dysfunction. Psychologists have told me that most people marry their parent .. he said one person married his mother 7 times. Different versions looks alll of that , but the same personality type. So you’re not wrong about that.. sharing another possibility. We want to feel at home with our partners.
@@JonathonAslay I don’t think so, I think we all seek familiarity, things that we feel comfortable with on a positive way .. not just neuroses . Like daddy issues .. etc . I prefer someone who I feel the easy connection vs one I can’t relate to at all. It’s always good to look at what we’re getting , and the why. So I hear you it can be either or .
Yah Jonathan after 28 + years and his true feelings came out 😢 didn't clean up his past relationship, uggg & parent issues I knew nothing about nor did he share or communicate it . WOW
Meny people dont talk how thy feel not every one wont's children i notice you dont say a boiut older people old has you feel every one is ageing all the time your ageing all the time we lisen too other people in stead off lisening too our selfs people carnt even sort there own life's, and god puts you were he wonts you I know a a teens thy whent out fore a few years but one person did not wont the relataship,thy did not wont the same thing thy turned too some one that too them too follow there heart not other people thy did it was bad in the being but thy both got over it and both traveled thy have both met other people a few years later and both happy,see too meny dont.love them selfs and must comform too what other people thing know do it fore your self and do things fore your selfs not other how meny fore you when down orr help them know verey few evey one has ups and down go whith your heart,only you can help your self self look afere your self you have too love one another help one another give and take have fun time waits fore know one ,
I did go out with someone for five years he was 22 years older. Spoil me but horrible with my kids. 😢 i'm 54 going to 55 and I haven't had a date in almost 3 years. Where to you meet nice guys. I tried in line and I felt like a meet market. Everyone just want easy things. 😢😢😢 I have just kind of gave up.😂😂😂😂
I met someone truly wonderful 2 weeks after I gave up the NEED for someone. And not just saying it or thinking it but truly letting it go. I think I felt like if I let go of needing someone or looking, I would miss my person, but it's just the opposite. It's how I found him. Peace and God bless ✨🙏🏻✨
I know who I am... he pushed me and then told me he 'didn't know I wasn't the 'kind of girl' (65) that stays with a man that hurts her." Still wants a relationship with me, but now he knows. I left, and I'm feeling better every day, now that I realize he was never invested, just lonely. I'm too good a person to settle for mediocre . Thx. Johnaton. You're a cutie ! Plus wise and woke. Be Blessed ❤❤😊
