Messing up the Middle Ages with Bad Translations 

Long live *HE*

I wish we could get more lore on Bromax III. He seems like a cool warrior

“Bromax” is the chaddest name since Chad.

Can we talk about how in 1:29 *HE* built a Mosque before Muhammad was even born? What an absolute legend.

5:42 -enters Canosa -stands in bare snow -pleads not guilty to the Pope -concedes defeat at the opening ceremony of the debate -refuses to elaborate -leaves

Bromax III may be my new (second) favorite character, only being surpassed by HE. HE was sure doing a lot during this era, and Venezuela was also more historically influential than i ever imagined!

So He is from Spain while She is from Britain? Interesting differences Also it's funny how the translation changed the whole meaning of the Canosa episode since in reality the Emperor didn't defy the Pope but was actually trying to get recomunicated by walking there like a beggar.

Considering the reliability of many contemporary medieval historians and chroniclers, this isn't much worse...

Guys, I think I discovered the narrator's identity! In 840 AD Barry was kidnapped alongside Southern Italy by the Muslims (3:18). Later the narrator explains he was freed by the Muslims under pressure of Pope Aris II of Germany (6:07). Therefore, I suspect Barry is the narrator's true identity! Edit: Now that I think about it, the narrator could also be Southern Italy, as the latter was also kidnapped by the Muslims.

The Life of He. (And sometimes She) In 555 BC, He was in front of the enemy, thankfully, He survived. From 447 BC and before, this forum has been announced 3 times during His career. In 439 BC, He asked an unknown figure, “Who is the king of wisdom?” We also learn in 439 BC that He hates the Nazi army, confusing many as they don’t know what a “Nazi” is, He returns home after 21 days. In 337 BC, we learn that He is the first player, beginning his first of three playthroughs. In 238 BC, He took Sardinia and Corsica to Rome, after Ardeo, He is taken to Rome for protection during the Illyrian War, 40 years later, He established the provinces and cities of Spain, another 100 years later, He and King Bogolius kill thousands of Cumbrian soldiers and civilians. In 14 AD, He dies on Friday. In 49 AD, He gets married for the first time, marrying Claudius Agrippina, the youngest daughter of Germanicus, 5 years later, He is assassinated by King Claudius Nero. In 117 AD, when the Romans captured the city of Rodum, He killed many people, over 100 years after not hearing about He, He killed Archon Heliogabalus and captures Severus, after 50 years on the run, in 275 AD, He is killed by Priest Aurelian. In 431 AD, He affirmed Nicaragua’s original doctrine and rejected the teachings of Nestorius. In 456 AD when the Roman Civil War began, He’s grandfather, Rissimo and Marino, were forced to leave Rome. After nearly 100 years, He built a mosque that helped transform “The Super” into a civilization until it was destroyed and invaded by the Vikings in 794. In 577 AD, we learn that He lives in the West Saxon diocese. In 634 AD, He, after many years, turns his back on the island and fled for the old town of Rasdon. In 668 AD, He sets up a general shelter leading north. In 750 AD, a time traveler tells the world about how He will be arrested in 1519. In 1018 AD, we learn that He’s official name is Bulgarian. He then goes silent for the next 88 years… ↓ Until the Battle of Serb Bridge, circa 1106 AD, where He defeats Robert Cook, the English leader of Henry Normandy. In 1118 AD, during the persecution, He becomes one of the most important and powerful military commanders of all time for his expert leadership in the Battle Serb Bridge. In 1192, He continues to ascend the ranks, becoming the first long-term military dictator to hold the post. After about 200 years, He is born into a group called the Battles of Kosovo during the Kosovo War in Serbia. In 1469, He is given 10 Sichod Tambon and becomes President. In 1485, She is born, and becomes one of the most famous British births. He then falls silent for centuries... ↓ Until in 1803, He returned to fight in the Napoleonic wars, in 1807, He takes a short break from the military to play a nice game of soccer/football, He becomes the last player of Borussia, but not even a year later, He goes to Copenhagen and steals several ships. In 1810, He takes the floor, becoming a celebrity of his time. In 1830, He learns about the horrible battles that took place in Yogkarta and Surkarta, but He does not really care. In 1831, He defends the freedoms and rights of the Cherokee in front of the Supreme Court, three years later, in accordance with British law, He is sent to prison for unknown reasons. Another decade later, in 1844, He becomes the leader of Baháʼu'lláh and is considered the founder of Baháʼí Faith, later in 1844, He recovers, this event is known as “The Great Depression.” He is not heard from for another 23 years, until in 1867, He travels the world. In ̶1̶8̶9̶7̶ 1893, He is killed in a violent attack, but just seven years later, He returns and launches an invasion of the eight lands of China and takes all of the fields, this will become known as “The China Field Incident” another 21 years later, specifically ↓ On July 24th, 1914, the Austro-Hungarian government sent He to Serbia, He refused this order, and supported the Serbians in the fight against Austria-Hungary. He is later seen in Charleroi, however does not fight either side in the city. On September 3rd, 1914, He was killed in the battle of Lava, Austria-Hungary, but just 6 days later, He attacked Theobald von Bateman-Hallweger, leaving many to believe the death of He was Austro-Hungarian propaganda. He is later recruited to the Ottoman Empire, fighting in the battle of Chatur, however his achievements are overshadowed by Lam’s triumphant victory, and He is left behind. He later mysteriously dies in Korea in 1915, but is later remarried in Britain to She, after divorcing Claudius Agrippina. He later leads an army to attack Romania, however this army is destroyed by Romanian forces, following the loss, He builds a church and school in Thessaloniki, Greece. He later receives a military commission from Maurice Heinz and builds several buildings outside the park. He then got up, which is called karma. Reports then reveal that he was born over 300 years in the Ottoman Empire. He was later received at Buckingham Palace by King George V on the evening of December 10th, and visited Buckingham Palace for the first time on November 11. He then takes a short break from the military, ↓ Until in 1936, He called for increased trade between the Netherlands and Germany, then on September 2nd, 1939, Britain and France agreed to send Him to Germany, in an attempt to halt the German advances during the Ghost War. Around this time He also begins trying to find a partner. A few weeks later, He is eventually pushed back to Belgium, where He founded the city of London, He manages to hold off the German advance and protects London. After waiting a few more months, Hitler attempts to invade Britain, but He masterfully prevents this from happening. He is then sent to Central Africa, after fighting in France and the UK in the Christmas War of 1940, a war that had lasted for 24 years, The result of this war is unknown. He was then sent to Crete, where his army and himself established the Kingdom of Crete. Two years later in November, 1942, He led an army from Alexandria, Egypt, to Moratus, Hungary. In 1944, growing tired of British leadership, He switches sides, joining German forces, summoning the Estonian army to destroy the Soviet Empire, this attempt sees He’s first major defeat, it is never confirmed, but is suspected that He retired from war following the loss. ↓ Until in 1950, He is declared missing, leaving many to believe he died in the war, He is later seen alive in 1959, when he flies 5,990 kilometers over the ocean, without an airplane, He then puts his flying skills to the test, as in 1967, He flies around the moon 10 times before returning to Earth, He arrived back in the US on July, 20th, 1969. Just one year later, He becomes the first astronaut to land on another planet, it is unspecified which planet this is, another year later on December 2nd, 1971, He becomes the first human to arrive on Mars. In 1975, He makes his great return to combat, however, in a naval rescue mission against the Khmer Rouge, He makes his second major loss, as he leads his entire team to failure. In 1979, NATO threatened nuclear expansion in Europe, which is (apparently) the second time He has had this happen, this leaves the populace to believe that He is an almighty god. In 1982, we learned that He is Spanish, contradicting earlier reports of him being born in the Ottoman Empire. Following the events which led Sri Lanka to ban their communist party, He is nicknamed “the youngest son of the Soviet Revolution.” In October 1983, American forces invade Grenada, with the help of He, the Grenadian Communist Party is overthrown, He overthrows the Cuban Army as well, limiting Cuban ambitions in the Caribbean and neutralizing the threat they posed to America, He then prevents the Soviet Union from constructing an airport, believing that they were trying to undermine American influence. In May, 1984, He condemned aid to the rebels. In 1985, the United Nations convicts He of crimes against humanity and war crimes in Argentina from 1976 to 1983. In 1986, SHE, He’s wife, became the first female president of the Philippines. She and He both go silent for a few years until eventually, ↓ In 1990, more modern reports do say that He was born in Lithuania, instead of Spain or the Ottoman Empire. Also in 1990, some very sad news, She’s hair is dirty. Just one year later, He retreated from Frunze to Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. In August of 1991, following the independence of Azerbaijan from the Soviet Union, He smiled. And then just a few days later, He gained independence from Latvia and Lithuania, leaving many to believe He influenced the collapse of the Soviet Union. In 1992, He divided England into a republic of all duties, further increasing his power. In May of 1992, He paved the way for the restoration of Cambodia. In 1994, He, now leader of Afghanistan, was captured by militants. In 2002, He was in Afghanistan for 8 years after the army invaded Iraq. In 2012, He became the ruler of Azawad, ruling from Ansongo, the largest and last town in the Azawad Autonomous Province, He later steps down from this role as He begins traveling around Africa from Bujumbura to Gitega. In 2021, lots of people began to build monuments dedicated to He for his service in World War I and the Civil War, in May of the same year, He also defeated the Armenian army. This is all information about He to this day, more is expected to be found as scientists begin to study the life and history of He. Yes, I added some (a lot) of this on my own, but I felt like it gave more character and reasoning for the actions of our glorious, tall, handsome, strong, independent, respectful, almighty god, the one and only. HE. (too long, too long, help help help help help HEEELPPPPP, SOMEBODY ANYONE STOP ME PLEASEEEE)

In the words of Count Dooku: “I’ve been looking forward to this”

There seemed to be some interesting continuity in some of the other videos of the Ottomans being this massive empire (apparently controlling Britain, Spain, and Germany at various points), now we know it's because they had nukes.

Ottomans: *casually invents and launches nuclear weapons in 1499* EU4 players: seems about right

I like the sporadic "That's not a bad translation, that's actually what happened" moments

Please continue, i love this and even my history teacher watches this lol.

6:43 King Bromax III is the greatest king who ever lived.

Ottoman nukes has officially destroyed the world in this timeline

I love the random cameos of US cities. Venezuela probably appeared much because it was probably a translation of Venice

″ for the birth of empire they burnet a policeman″ yeah that seems like something the Aztec empire would do

1:29 HE is so powerful that he built a mosque 7 years before Muhammad was born

Ah yes, Yasstinian. The emperor of the Eastern Slay empire.💅

Easily the most epic sounding translations in this episode, with all the titans and divine spirits and shit. Edit: It’s a little bit of a bit.

As someone who lives in Detroit, I can confirm we are crazy.

9:07 Ah yes, John England, the famous founder of England

NEW CHARACTER JUST DROPPED 6:42 Wonder how he'd do against HIM Also we need to make a wiki for all this

3:10 Ah, that's the reason why Charlemagne wanted to conquer territories in today's Germany... He just couldn't cross the sea without VIOELNTLY REACTING!

CHARLIE MAGNESIUM

8:18 silly is my favorite character i hope he appears more trough out the lore

Ah, here we see the upbringing of his military role in the modern world.

7:06 Reject humanity, return to Worm.

11:07 That is definitely *not* going to be controversial...

11:45 for Republic of Venesuela it was the best trade deal in the history of trade deals. Also, it took me embarrassingly long time to figure out this event that had a huge influence on my country.

What an unforgivable crime, being charged with common sense.

Now I finally know why there weren't any Muslims playing golf in 1259

7:10 funnily enough, i think "worms" is the only part of that sentence that IS supposed to be there. i believe it's talking about the concordat of worms and the formation of the first council of the lateran

It all makes sense now "he has playes this game before" from the cold war he has expirience with nuclear Armageddon because he is the only thing standing after

The Dark Ages require HIM and The Buddha

Only 17 seconds in and *HE* is already back!

This is quite a wild history, even by the standards of this series! Firstly, at 0:41, Odessa was "killed" by Ravenna (which I find unfortunate, since some of my ancestors may have come from there). Secondly, Henry VIII got promoted to "emperor"! Thirdly, Henry V was renamed to Henry Wie at 12:00, and judging by the reference to France as a "great British territory", he was even more victorious than usual. Lastly, the Ottomans got an atomic weapon before the Americans did! Also, we learned that He was a military commander and a dictator (and he built a mosque at 1:30, decades before Muhammad himself did), and that She was born in 1485 in England (did "Bosworth" turn into "birth" somehow?). I was laughing all throughout this video. Thanks for making this!

9:46 Modern British justice system be like

7:03 it taking them until 1123 to have the first conversation makes sense to me.

Bromax III was my favourite side character

Sure, you can be manly, but you will never be BROMAX III manly!

5:46 This entire entry feels like a comedy sketch LOL

@6:01 As a citizen of Connecticut, I can confirm, this is canon!

He: before 535 BC-54 after 54-275 b. between 275-431 b. 1389 11 December 1617-1893 after 1893-3 September 1914 after 3 September 1914-18 January 1915 b. between 18 January 1915-3 July 1915 b. 8 March 1990 She: b. 1485

As an Australian I will have you know that Italy is rightful Aussie clay!

These videos never get old

HE is everywhere, you can't escape him.

“it was designed to carry out a turkey besieging a missile” im dead 😂

Wouldn't surprise me if the lore reveals He to be He Jin.

2:58 But He did so much for us!

5:16 pope, president, king, AND prime minister? leo really got around

2:32 So "I" lore when

Love the subtle Chuck McGill 😅 "1216, one after Magna Carta!" Also did not expect to see Karl Pilkington show up in one of these videos, but glad he did!

Lore of Messing up the Middle Ages with Bad Translations momentum 100

I'm afraid of what StarvHarv will do when he runs out of eras to translate.

"The threat" scares me

Oh God, the translations went NUTS on this one! You could tell by the amount of times StarvHarv was cracking up before the translation was revealed! Only one person is responsible for this... HE.

We started at WW2, we've gone through every event of the modern age, and now we're back in medieval times. Dang, it looks like He really has played this game twice

These always leave me giggling uncontrollably 😂 what a delight!

Can’t wait to see the history teachers reactions

great video as usual, starvin' harvin'

Holy shit these bad translations videos are literally the funniest videos I've ever seen

I’m late but here’s the pronouns lore 0:16 HE affirmed Nicaraguas original doctrine and rejected teachings of Nestrolius 1:30 HE built a mosque that helped transform The Super into a civilization. 1:52 HE lived in West Saxon diocese 2:22 Yes. 2:34 I ended three conversations in Korea 2:39 HE set up a general shelter leading North 2:58 HE was arrested in 1519 6:08 Under Pressure from Pope Aris II of Germany, the Muslims sent ME back. 6:26 HE defeated Robert Cook at the battle of the Serb Bridge 6:56 During the persecution, HE became one of the most important and powerful military commanders 7:34 Detroit. That’s crazy. 8:37 HE was the first in a long term military dictator to hold post 9:30 The battle bars trust ME 11:03 HE was born into a group called the Battles of Kosovo 14:10 HE received 10 sichod tambon and became president 14:35 SHE is one of the most famous British births 14:40 It’s a little bit of a bit I’m not sure if narrators okay, but at least he’s doing his job. I also added some of narrators comments ^^ Tell me if I missed anything.

I want more on the threat lore

Did anyone else notice that Elon Musk showed up during the Khmer Rouge segment at 4:13?

Thank you for this video, your channel has been getting me through some tough times. ❤

13:58

This was amazing, I love how there was a lot of characters in some parts that it just became a hysterical mess lol

From now on, every video title has to include “HEstory”

14:02 *Sengoku Basara flashbacks* Spectacular indeed!

LoL 🤣🤣🤣 I seriously can't take ut anymore Somebody help me, ANYBODY My stomach is bursting out of laugher 😂😂😂😂

I love your channel keep up the great stuff

Thats awesome. So much fun montage, just like in the first ones, absolutely stunning work

I love this. The translation isn't even that funny but the animations you made to go with them has me roaring with laughter!

7:51 most accurate translation about Paris. xDDD

He got around didn't He? I had to stop drinking a cup of milk because I nearly sucked it up my nose while trying not to spit it out while laughing at these, but I loved it! And then I proved it by subscribing to all videos, lol!

10:27 A Failed Austrian Painter likes that.

8:03 That was flower and caddle as an hommage for victime of terrorist attack in Paris 💀

Bromax III: >becomes king >defeats Henry VIII >refuses to elaborate further >never appears again long live He

Oh, come let us adore HIM. Oh, come let us adore HIM.

This was extraordinarily ridiculous and yet the funniest thing I heard all week! Some of it made at least a little bit of sense, tho! We need more!

12:26 THE POLICEMAN.

Finally, been waiting ages for more SHE lore!

You are the most goated channel on youtube

I NEED to know the full story of the Campaign For A Fourth Joint. It sounds like a pretty dank tale.

I want to see Stravharv ruin the interwar period (1919-1939) with translations because that’s be interesting

Can't stop laughing at the part about the battle between Jeff/Kiblin and Silly. Something about StarvHarv's delivery combined with an image of a tiny blepping cat head on a giant knight's body is absolutely killing me. Would love to learn more about Silly and the battle...

It's not often you get to laugh until your stomach hurts through an entire video, having to pause on occasion to catch your breath, but this is one of those rare moments!

The canosa part was actually almost accurate

The Threat sounds like an appropriate nemesis for HE

9:06 "I AM NOT CRAZY! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216, one after John England, as if I could ever make such a mistake!"

Can't wait for the hungarians to start calling cambodia an essential hungarian clay

Never forget our heroes Bromax III and Butt August.

We need to see a battle between He and Bromax III

13:25 Koreans get letters biting their lips. That was the year Sejong the Great made new alphabet and people just 🫦

I can't believe the first punishment failed also medieval history seems to be awfully INGSOC-like

4:11 Lol, the subtle Elon Musk as Pol Pot for the third province. He really does look like him.

Can confirm “yes” was one of the most tragic events in history