Midweek with Dr. C- The Emotional Fallout From Being With A Narcissist 

Hard when we are expected to work out differences with someone hell bent on destroying us.

I really don’t think hate is sustainable. After a period of hatred, you begin to realize the only one being affected is you. The goal is complete indifference.

Dr. C...please give Mrs. C an extra hug for me. She married a great man with much wisdom which gives us viewers insight. Deep gratitude.

"Maybe their rejection doesn't mean I'm no good; it just means I don't fit in their system of dysfunction."

Moving away from family home and out of marital bed helped a great deal

I had to move far away , and recover on my own with help from online people like you

Dr. C and Gus are my role models, calm and even keeled. 🐕🐾😅😊

I love your calmness. THERE ARE MANY people out there teaching about narcissism, but it's only you Sir who never confuses us and we feel the calmness in our hearts and souls that is reaching out to us through your videos! I pray for you Dr C😢your are a kind person. ❤One of a kind❤

The narcissist that I lived with went ballistic every time that I watched Surviving Narcissism. I'm sure she saw herself when she saw and heard what Dr Carter was saying. When she heard the opening music before Dr Carter started speaking she turned on her daughter's stereo as loud as it would play to drown his words out. It was unbelievable to watch her acting like that but that didn't stop me from watching Surviving Narcissism. I knew what I was dealing with and that I needed help getting through the abuse she caused. Thank you Dr Carter for always being there for me. You not only saved my sanity you also saved my life.

As someone who put ip with yelling in the past, to me yelling is good reason to leave a relationship.

"If there's a narcissist in the room it's you", agree they would never think they have any emotional issues.

I like to play the video’s really loud… it’s taken me 9 years and a 7 year old little girl-my miracle. I’m not going to allow her to think that any of this is ok or normal. I am working on a plan because she deserves better and so do I. I’m 44 and she nor I have 9 more years to live like this. Thank you Dr. C. I believe in kindness and im doing my best to show my baby right from wrong. You are helping me so much ❤

It's not good to hate the person,but it's ok to hate there bad behavior!

As a half Italian who was raised by a malignant narcissist who used her partial deafness as an exasperation tool, & who married into a WASP family with another malignant narcissist large & in charge, I can assure you that there are plenty of narcissistic weapons that are not related to volume. Of course, we perpetually exasperated targets are guilty of it. I thank you for my sanity as you verbalize everything I've experienced, but I again find myself weary of the association of volume with narcs alone. Like alcoholics & wife beaters, they know that the road to victimhood is paved with someone else's exasperation. They then shroud themselves in their manufactured victimhood as though it were righteousness. There is nothing about the process that has anything to do with righteousness. Or volume.

When my narc was in my life, I had started doing personal development. We were friends for so long, supported me through my worst moments and times, but the one time I started doing something good and positive, he clowned it, discredited it, devalued it. And I had always asked myself why? Why is he being unsupportive all of a sudden, why is he not building me up, and is instead putting me down? And then I came to realize the truth. Me, doing the things that I am doing, is threatening the paradigm of the way things are supposed to be, which is, he is supposed to be the main character, and I am always meant to be the supporting cast. Long story short, I grew tired of it, and except for a couple of times when we saw each other, we haven't spoke, or even contacted each other in over four years, and this was due to me finding great resources like this one, and learning about no-contact. So thanks Dr C, you da man....

Oh Dr C, what you are doing is making phenomenal impact on so many. I am so grateful for you, thank you. I don't like to vent, there are some things I'd like to mention. Every single point you made in this video was familiar to me, how you put it into words and have so much empathy is so refreshing! Kind of a deep breath and comforting sigh. Words - hangover - emotional competence, emotional sobriety and so many more. I did love your example of the tune up, no one told you that you could! So sad and often true. It's been a very long journey 65 years and I will continue to be a student of life for life and that makes me glad. Whatever Susie or Joe does, while I do care what people think... It's not my problem if they aren't a student also 😊 YAY! Working on it every single day. THANK YOU AGAIN 💓

I was at a party having a conversation with a man I had just met. He said, out of the blue, "I can tell you're not a narcissist because you can empathize with others." Blew me away. I didn't know whether to be suspicious (like oh, there we go again, he's spotted an empathetic soul to prey on) or to be impressed that he actually listened to the content of my words and reflected. I'm still a bit hypervigilant even one year out I guess.

The priority has to be for peace, love, and civility.

I have been diagnosed with CPTSD from childhood abuse and feel I have control issues and perfectionistic problems that are difficult to deal with.

My Narcussist saw me watching one of your podcast and got mad. He said, I needed to quit watching that shit. Lol

The first question you asked is actually quite scary for many woman. Of course they'll act negatively and attack you, the host, your sanity etc. The best response I believe is just to state you like to learn about people, how and why they respond, and not associate the video with the narcissist spouse. But they can be so intimidating. They love to find ways to tear you down.

You do great work! I just had a situation with someone who turned out to be a raging narcissist. When she started to rage at me, thankfully over the phone, I calmly said, "I'm not arguing with you." Later she sent a needlessly negative and threatening email. I had to smile. I'm perfectly capable of dismantling her arguments, and threats. So specious. But, why? Why give anything to her, or back to her? It was so easy to let it go. Her reactions, and the results of her behavior, are just not my responsibility. Thanks for the training. 😁

Just got into a panic attack because I have to make my food before the idiot comes home so I can close my door and not confront because he's constantly making confrontations and I freaked out because I couldn't find my phone this is what they do mess with your head

Love this video I grew up around narcissistic people and my dad who was around very little is a huge narcissist.....as I got older in my teenage years I told myself I don't want to be nothing like that. "Changes can be generational" is a great quote as I am making a concerned effort to change my branch of the family tree with my kids. My ex is a narcissist so it's extra work but I am looking at the big picture, changing things for my kids and show them love, discipline etc....I am going to stop the viscous cycle❤❤

I lead a life of isolation these days. It's the only way for me to have peace of mind. I just want to be left alone. Too much has happened for too long a time, and I don't even want to go out.

Any narc I've dealt with, they see me watching something, & just turn the station because it looks like I'm engrossed in it. What really makes me mad, they have to say. Get this off of here! I don't want to see this! I was glad when cell phones got more popular, I can just go to another room or be right there & put in my earbuds. Problem solved.👍🏼☺️

OMG! This video just started, oh yes he knows I watch your videos! The very first time he "caught" me he's asking what ya watching? I told him I'm researching narcissism. Oh he got so mad, he was quiet for about a week. It's like he doesn't want me to learn anything. But cause I don't give a flippin donut about him, I do what I want. I know he can't take care of himself & take care of the house. I was the black sheep of the family, i was a loner, quiet, an introvert. My family always looked down at me. Now all these years later, they admire me. Because no matter what happens i adapt to whatever situation, I can swim through crap & come out "smelling like a rose"! Now my family is envious, but they know i can handle whatever life throws at me & i know what to do.

Dr. C, is it normal after the narcissist has been exposed in front of people, that I want this person to do something again to affirm that she is set in her ways and it’s not just a one time thing? This woman is my Mother in law and many people think she’s a saint. She just gets her validation from appearing so. She’s been very careful since her true colors have been shown.

Thank you Doc, I really appreciated the family focus today. Finding freedom and starting my journey to my place of peace after 50+ years of cult like insanity. thank you.

Thanks for your hopeful message that we can grow & change.

I had a narcissist roommate that was hell bent on turning me into a criminal

I truly don't know how to not be angry anymore. It does nothing for my life. Nothing. I'm willing to go through the pain of change.

The narcissist I know regards himself as my saviour and that he needs to constantly ensure that I'm on the "right path" which path ofcourse he gets to decide. When I say to him that I am a free individual and can therefore decide who I want to be and what I want to do, he says: "Look where that got you in the past." How do I respond to his statement? I'm always at a loss for words.

Hi Dr.C thank you so much for the work you are doing I’m still really realizing that my husband of 37 years is on the scale of narcissism. It’s so hard because he could be so kind and supportive and then in no time at all he is throwing contempt and criticism and judgment all over me, you are helping me survive. I do not want to divorce. I suggested a separation for us both to evaluate what marriage means to us and he has ignored my note I know he read it because it’s gone from where I put it. He is being more polite the last few days, but I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop that has been the pattern for so many long years over half my life thank you. I feel like I can hang on now.

I recently had my first experience with a full fledged 100% narcissist. I honestly don't know how anyone would tolerate that behavior. I had 30 minutes with that 😮

You have my sympathy Dr. Carter! Your family broke the generational curse!❤🙏

24:42 I also grew up surrounded by bad examples of conflict resolutions. I wasn't a person of conflict, but after I learned about narcissism I was able to somewhat improve my reaction to conflicts. As I understand, we don't have to react on a narcissist's rage - it could make us something we don't like and will not change them. When a narc wants to start a conflict by acting aggressively, or taunting you by something you don't like - disengage, placidly create some distance, especially if it's not important. By recognizing the triggers and your reactions you can change the way you react, and you will even feel less agitated inside. Still in the constant freeze-fight-flight, but reacting on bad things is not a bad part of us

No contact ! You said it! However, their constant presence and participating in other family duties challenges the no contact bit. It is even more challenging when children love both parents equally and don’t see either one in bad light. Slowly, have noticed the lack of control on the part of Nar but not eithout bitterness, angry outbursts, and the show of how busy the Nar is in their life that is so good and fulfilling.

Thank you Dr.C I have learned so much about being myself and that it’s ok to be me thank you I’m no longer feel the need to fight for my rights with anyone or the narcissist in my live .

My sister is 67 and I’m 69. She was the golden child of our family. I was the scape goat. We share a condo since 2013. We both retired in 2020 at beginning of pandemic. She has totally changed to being more controlling and argumentative since she retired. Her job was her identity I guess and now she takes it out on me anytime she has a problem. She delights in first agreeing to go on a trip with me then right before we go she starts arguing and criticizing me. She threatens to back out if I don’t do exactly what she wants. How do I turn off my reactions. I know she enjoys seeing me get upset by her baiting and gaslighting. She delights in ruining anything that gives me pleasure. A trip or a hike. We both have no kids or spouses. As she ridiculed me she will then go to our neighbors and be the perfect nice neighbor. How do I turn off my reactions to her because I know she counts on upsetting me

After a lifetime of Ns in family, at work (lawyer) and a couple of (ex-) friends, (I was saved by a wonderful husband, children , sister), I wouldn’t say my feelings rise to a level of hate, but certainly dislike, resentment, and in a couple of cases, a physical repugnance to being in their presence. I have gone no or low contact, and I have always tried at least to act assertively and decently. and to be kind to others, but my problem at this stage is ruminating on the harm that has been done to me, and others. Some of it is trying to understand, but I really need to let go. Finding that difficult.

Best Community on the Interwebs 🏆💜

Hello from California Dr. Carter, Gus and the Team Healthy Community. I always usually watch after he goes to bed. Thank you so much for this very helpful video Dr. Carter. You are a blessing to all of us and we appreciate you very much for your help. God bless.

Wow! Good stuff. I needed to hear these coping tools when dealing with a narcissist.

Making your helpful show a big part of me healing from Narc abuse. I've so much to learn.🎉

When you notice some tearing someone or tearing you down to build them self up Avoid , Avoid ! Pinch yourself if you have to to wake up and get away asap

Dr C my narc husband started watching your videos and using your techniques thinking it would do something to me. I laughed and noticed right away. He did that a week and realized it did nothing but make things better and stopped that asap!! Hahaha

You are much appreciated 🌹Dr Carter

17 years in a DV I was scared to leave then after major open heart surgery just left everything I'd ever worked for in my entire life grabbing my child, dog and handbag my car under finance and no job. I've gone eff this I'm outta here. I'd always been independent and worked really great jobs for a long period of time nearly 30 years and during that relationship I worked every day until I popped, I remember my doctor telling me at 5 months pregnant that it would be advisable if I stopped working, I needed to get off my feet due to excessive swelling. I couldn't stop working because I was the one paying the bills, my ex wouldn't work at that time, he was to busy bopping around in the ocean in his new boat having fun. whilst pregnant while being the sole bread winner while dh didn't work and did what he wanted. First day home after giving birth when I'm on maternity leave he has the cheek to say that we the new born and I better move out because he has a boat loan to pay. He decided to get a job to pay for his new toy. I had planned to be on maternity leave for 12 months from work which is paid leave. However no he wasn't having that at 5 months he was DEMANDING I return back to work. Which meant me paying for full-time creche fees while I worked full-time which didn't make sense anyway almost 8 years on Im trying to recover from major surgery and ex letting me know how much of an inconvenience I am to him after surgery and him slamming doors yelling the works. Here I am struggling to open a door nob or walk further than the mail box he's cracking the absolute shits with me because I've asked him to hang out our child's washing because I was unable to lift my hands over my head after surgery. I wish I had left when I came home with our new born or better still since everything in that house I'd owned, and my job was literally 10 mins away he could of moved. He wasn't going to move because the house had a perfect long driveway and garage for his boat. The absolute bs never ended there even after I left, the no child support because he said he could only look after himself for years and years afterwards, selfish doesn't cover it when it comes to these a holes. I've some more colourful word's 😅😅. They use to call me a freak at work cause i had a almost photographic memory for everything on my accounts and working unbelievable hours with child in bouncer next to my desk to earn an income, I had a literal bald patch of hair that had fallen out one side of my head, over worked at work and at home no wonder i ended up on the slab. I survived that bs, Ive the most delightful child. I won in that regard. I hope hes enjoying his piece of metal, his boat lol. I'd be at the office unpaid late at night with our child with me to catch up on work I needed to do to keep my job because I'd taken so much leave from work to look after our child when they were sick from everything our child picked up from creche. He wouldn't share the responsibility of caring for our child and take a day off to parent. However he didn't have a problem taking a day off work to go out in the ocean. I know how I ended up with such a looser it was my incredible upbringing with my awesome parents that taught me abuse was love. DOH!!! I've paid off that car under finance, it did sit for 5 years not driven due to not been able to drive it the motor was dead. I was isolated out bush no public transport finance company wouldn't allow me to sell the car without going bankrupt. I've drawn down my superannuation from working every year for financial hardship I pay the car off full engine rebuild, big bucks get my shit together to go back out to work force and covid hits another 2 years of isolation BRILLIANT!! Then more dramatic stuff (life) am grateful I've a roof over our heads and working towards the next step. Adversities ey. Almost 7 months of these videos have saved my sanity with the current bs situation I've now found myself in. I'm a slow learner

Mom is great with loaded answers & the loaded question (criticism) when the need to goad or taunt overtakes her.

exactly right ✅️ I truly believe that hate will just put you in the shipwreck with the narc. Too much damage has already been done & hate will cost you even more - yourself!!! Let go continue to heal, never allow a toxic person to be in your life. Thanks Dr. C. 😊 ABUSE OF POWER MOST DEFINITELY AS WELL.

Thanks for your time and help. I am healthy , however very lonely and I am finding the videos a bit depressing , whereas I used to feel an uplifting. Going to take a break from the topic . Yes I need help finding healthy people to connect with , I don't know how to find them. I have good character and self respect. I have the ability to respect others , thanks again for keeping me company in my lonely days , now I am looking for people who are healthy respectful, of good character to share life with. Im feeling positive about this❤.

Hi Dr. C, thank you so much for your videos! I was wondering could you talk about narcissistic siblings? Thanks again!

Thank you so much dr Carter. I deeply appreciate and am grateful for everything you do for me. ❤

Dr., ,thank you so much for your wonderful work!

Oh my gosh! I sit outside and if he comes out I panic, like major anxiety as I fumble for the mute button! Now use headphones so he doesn't gather more fuel to fire at me. When I was openly going to therapy he would make snide remarks and you could see the smugness within him and even on his face. But I continue to learn, and grow, and feel better....

You are such a blessing! Thank you 🙏 🦋♾️🦋

Narc is my 39 yr old disabled son who lives with us. We are 70 and almost 70 and his scapegoats, abused. We're suffering and the mental health system has failed us.

😢 after recognizing that I’ve been living with a narcissist, Dr. C my children, have to give me the silent treatment because of the fact that at one out of the relationship with my husband, they’re all grown, and I just don’t understand why they’re acting this way they’re all know how their father really is can you help me with this question Dr. C thank you very much

Hi thanks for your life saving advise!

I'm so tired Dr.C. Between my own narcissistic family and trying to figure out who my inlaws are and whether or not to continue to put myself into these relationships. I'm so tired. I just want to crawl into a cave where none of these people can find me. How will I ever trust anyone? I actually fear people and do all I can to avoid people. I prefer the company of animals and my own children. I just want to avoid everyone else. How will I ever learn to trust anyone after being in so many one sided "relationships". I just want them to leave me alone completely. And I'm isolated by choice.

Every question resonated with me. Some tears flowed without want others gracefully. I'm understanding my past needs understanding, my present requires knowledge and my future hopes for healing. I'm glad you shared your age because I am 58 and was thinking will I ever get it right? I've put a halt on intimate relationships because I have a mountain of replicas. My goal is to finish strong and to release those destructive holds that have been binding me to satan for far too long. Thank you for these videos.

I enjoy your delivery. Your account of what the narcissist is thinking is right on! Makes me laugh out loud. I'm glad that I can chuckle now at your accurate rendition of what the narcissist may be thinking 😄

Thank you Sir for all that you do for us! ❤🙏

How do get the covert narcissist (my mother) to just go away and leave you alone. She keeps sending a barrage of flying monkeys my way and tells everyone something wrong with me. I’ve chosen to go no contact to make sure myself and my families mental health and happiness comes first. At age 56, I have learned it is never to late to go no contact even if your parent is a senior.

He said something in this video, that brought to mind something we used to say to our middle school dance teams whenever they said I can't. You have to tell yourself I can with practice same thing here it may take time but don't give up You can with practice

These videos have been extremely helpful and informative. I look forward to listening to them. This video brought up something I don’t quite understand - self loathing/self hatred and shame to the point of substance abuse/addiction that contributes to self destruction. How/why does the narcissist hate themselves so much? Do they realize it? Is this what they project?

You're an Angel Dr. C. Thank you for guiding me these past three years. You saved my sanity.

Really enjoyed listening to this particular video , thank you very much.

That's why I love this channel and why it's important to me. Dr Carter talks to the heart of dignity, respect and civility. I want to be a more mature, kind, compassionate and loving person that will not engage in immature, disrespectful, and unkind relationships. That doesn't serve anyone. My father was an angry, self-motivated individual. To be kind, he wasn't someone who could or wanted to be the type of father for me that I needed in my life. That said, I loved him, but I realized that his inability to father me the way that is in line with DRC wasn't happening. If he were here today, he'd agree with that. For me, it's about having long standing, important relationships that are meaningful to me as well as the other person. This is what makes life worth living. It's not meeting someone on the level of contempt. It's about being as true to yourself as to the people in your life. I am deserving of great relationships and the people who care about me deserve that as well. THANK YOU Dr Carter. You are the blessing in our life. Stay true to you, team healthy!

To think 'other', the thing they never allowed you to do. Bring it on ✋✌

If you have a real narcissist they don’t work out anything. Their way is always superior. My main emotion is disgust and incredible disappointment.

I want to add that I enjoyed this video , because of the balance of positive and teaching. I can cope with this type of video because it's not all about the negative traits. Yes , I understand that the videos are about narcissism , I see good character and other. I have learnt to keep things simple as a way to cope. Im not qualified to diagnose anyone , but I do know the type of person I like to be with. Team healthy is good and I think my friend❤

Thank you

Enjoy the Q&A style. As always, thank you!🩵

Thank you...

I ❤ this community. I'm in the thick of it. And I've had to drag myself off the ground back up. Where I was when I came here 10 😢😢😢 years ago❤😅❤❤❤😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

The problem for me was that the Narcissist's...(plural) could not fit me in a mold....I did not fit. My refusal to over look grievious actions, slander and cheating was very heavily met with distain and comptempt. I was called indiffetent and not a team player. But that was ok with me my values, character and integrity were more important. Standing in our beliefs of morality is foreign to these people. Thanks Dr. C. Hugs for Guss!!

Team Healthy!!! I like that. You are helping me so much. I’m grateful. Thank you, Dr. C

Cheers to you Dr. C, Team Healthy, and to continuous growth!

I find myself going into the narcissistic traits because of the cPTSD I've developed. It's like I wanted him to suffer and experience what he made me experience for years. Now I catch myself saying this is not me. I don't want a bad person to make me a bad person. He is already suffering internally and that's karmic enough.

😂that is exactly what my husband says when he catches me watching your video's DR.C 😆

I thought was more difficult but ... No too difficult thing is the damages that goes with It and the recovery that the person never gets unless...

I recently got sucked in by my narcissistic mom being very nice to me. Afterward, I realized that I had been love bombed and hoovered -- totally manipulated. I had avoided seeing her for months, and I knew the lack of control over me would be eating at her. I was prepared for an unpleasant encounter, but she threw me completely off balance with sweetness. Intellectually, I knew she was being phoney, but emotionally, she hooked me. Will I ever be able to deal with her fake love offensives? Will my inner child ever stop hoping she'll change?

YES YES YES, lol I watch your program at night while he is asleep with the captions on not because I’m scared , it’s because I do not want to discuss it with him but it is like I’m sneaky and I am acting afraid but I’m not! 😁

Hi Dr. C, I’ve been following you and listening to your You Tube channel for almost three years, although I’m rarely able to join you live. Finally, after 2 1/2 years I have been able to go “No Contact.” What a freedom that has been. I’m now in Recovery from misuse of alcohol and I’d like to know your thoughts on adding my ex to my list of people to whom I need/want to make amends. I’ve already apologized for my part in the difficult relationship, but I’m not sure whether or not I want to open the lines of communication even if just by email. Thank you for all that you share. It has been a true gift to me.

Dr.C., Can you speak more on recovery from narcissistic abuse and health? I think we know what narcissists are capable of, but there are options and steps we can take to care for ourselves, even within narcissistic relationships, other than pointing to the malevolent behaviors and words of narcissistic individuals with scorn, which only ever creates further indignation, continued harshness and increased conflict. I'm sure that you are aware that there is a great deal of animus surrounding discussions of narcissism, and I am also sure that you are aware that unresolved emotional responses to narcissistic abuse is a sure fired way to never become emotionally independent and fully recover from said abuse. We know that narcissists like who they are. It is us, who want to regain our own self integrity and like who we are, in spite of the narcissists' maladaptive defenses. I know you touched on these topics and perhaps could have a whole video on recovery and a reorganization of self independently from the narcissistic invalidation and criticism. I am not advocating a one way for everyone, but another option for recovery from the "emotional fallout," Some of us are defacto caregivers or concerned individuals for whom health is often itself an elusive thing. I don't hate them, but I sometimes can hate myself for not responding better. I refuse to discard individuals unless they first discard me, an oft employed response by narcissists. I know, my way, isn't for everyone. This isn't to say that if the opportunity arises, that moving on might not be the best option. In a sense, I'm interested in de-escalation rather than escalation. Although it sounds counter-productive, sometimes acknowledging what they say actually can help de-escalate narcissistic criticisms. You had some good advice along these lines. This doesn't mean that they are right, but they "are right" as far as they themselves are concerned, and nothing escalates an argument quicker than emotional invalidation. There has to be a way to respond to their needs without compromising our own integrity; and it is a certainty that they can be extremely needy, high-maintenance individuals whose demands often require immediate response which is not always possible.

It's hard work to stay emotionally sober.. kind of like holding a plank.. my insides quiver and shake violently, but I have to keep my form.. aka composure. My face speaks volumes of what I'm feeling or thinking and I have to keep it from twitching..and my eyebrows from lifting in curiosity and confusion. all while controlling my vocals when speaking.. to high he knows he has me in his throws to low. He knows he has hurt me.. in addition to maintaining good posture and not letting my body language speak .... I am not built for this... I will count the small successes though.... I didn't respond to loooooooong baiting text. And when asked if I got it, simply responce was was yes.. I was waiting for the silent treatment... but I think maybe I confused him because he didn't bring it up again. I have wins and losses everyday... me trying to gain control of my life has become a constant daily battle..it's new for me I'm just realizing after 11 years of marriage who I am now attached to until death do us part.... I feel like I been hit by a mac truck..the struggle is real...I'm literally exhausted. I am appreciative of this information and to you Dr C. This is the first time I have wrote a comment... I can use help and encouragement I am still so much in love with my husband but I have to live and breathe for Christ and myself. I have made my husband an idol... and I need to make changes immediately. So I can be more emotionally healthy for myself and my children... even if he isnt.

How to deal with the lies your spouse tells to his therapist? It makes me feel as if it ity fault for all the harsh things he says.

A fool rejects knowledge!

Dr Carter, get a proof reader / troll blocker to zap hateful comments but pass on useful feedback. Protect yourself so you can keep doing what you’re doing.

My father never had an explosive temper. However, he was very, very judgemental and rejecting if he believed you were doing the wrong thing. He also believed in corporal punishment. I always put it down to that was the way with people of his generation.

Hi. I also am 4-5 generation of recovery from that controlling anger. Was of a religious nature. My dad was also in the military and was trying, as a wounded son, to parent me and my sibs. Gave us enough tools to support eachother in our healing, while also, sadly, wounding each of us. He died teo years ago. Its a reset time for each of us. We are listening eachother to health. Blessings in your grief and growth.

In Thanksgiving: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: Media Technical Support People and Staff at Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D. ; thank you 😊: again, thank you ☺️

My question is do these narcissistic people get it through their heads when you try to explain things to them?

I think narcissists are so wounded because someone somewhere devalued them selecting them for abuse instead f honoring their personhood , so any slight or intonation they’re not above all that means they’re therefore subject again to devaluations and therefore more abuse. By association. So they can’t handle it and focus their psyche and will on proving their imperviousness to being lowly enough to be singled out for abuse again. Makes sense actually.

Dr. C, can you please talk about what drives a narcissist’s lack of reciprocity? No matter how hard my husband and I try, it’s never enough for my mother-in-law. She expects us to drive two hours to visit her every month, but she doesn’t ever initiate any plans. I’ve been initiating things because I know that if we go a while without seeing her, she’s passive aggressive and tries to blame me for keeping her son away from her. She doesn’t understand that healthy relationships are a two way street and has caused me so much anxiety. Please help.

I would fully expect a visit from some super esteemed personality if I ever heard Any type of real honesty from the malignant narc mommy dearest. We're talking Dalai Lama or a few others I could name. The smoke from Canada would suddenly disappear and so would homelessness bcos such a huge miracle happened. Many blessings ya'll.

As a parent of an adult narcissistic son. All the literature is pretty discouraging for us parents who always hope that the narcissist could get better. Is there hope?

DRC! DRC! DRC!