*Subtitles available by clicking on "CC-- English" at bottom right corner of video (top right for mobile)* Lyrics Translated by Matt Sandvig: Boku ga shinou to omotta no wa umineko ga sanbashi de naita kara *There was a time when I thought about dying, because the seagulls squawked at the end of the pier.* Nami no manima ni ukande kieru kako mo tsuibande tondeyuke *Drifting aimlessly at sea ‘til they'd all flown away, having pecked at my life like scraps of bread.* Boku ga shinou to omotto no wa tanjoubi ni anzu no hana ga saita kara *There was a time when I thought about dying, because the plum blossoms bloomed on my birthday.* Sono komorebi de utatane shitara mushi no shigai to tsuchi ni nareru kana *If I lie down beneath the sunlight streaming through the trees, will I become like the dirt and insect remains?* Hakka-ame gyokou no toudai /sabita aachikyou suteta jitensha *Mint candy at the harbor’s lighthouse. Abandoned bikes strewn by the rusty bridge.* Mokuzou no eki no sutoopu no mae de/ doko ni mo tabidatenai kokoro *I warm myself up at this old wooden station, though I don't really feel like going anywhere.* Kyou wa marude kinou mitai da /asu wo kaeru nara kyou wo kaenakya *But today feels exactly like yesterday, and if I don’t change something tomorrow will be the same.* Wakatteru wakatteru keredo *I know it will. I know it will, and yet still…* Boku ga shinou to omotta no wa kokoro ga karappo ni natta kara *There was a time when I thought about dying, because I was nothing but an empty husk.* Mitasarenai to naiteiru no wa/kitto mitasaretai to negau kara *And whenever someone cries because they’re not happy, I’m sure it’s because they really want to be.* Boku ga shinou to omotta no wa kutsuhimo ga hodoketa kara *There was a time when I thought about dying, because my shoelaces had come undone.* Musubinaosu no wa nigate nanda yo/hito to no tsunagari mo mata shikari *I was never very good at retying them. Kind of like how I am with the ties between people.* Boku ga shinou to omotta no wa shounen ga boku wo mitsumeteita kara *There was a time when I thought about dying, because some kid wouldn’t stop staring at me.* Beedo no ue de dogeza shiteru yo /ano hi no boku ni gomennasai to *I got down on my knees on top of my bed, so that I could apologize to myself.* Pasokon no usuakari joukai no heya no seikatsu on *My computer casts a dim light. The room upstairs sounds the same as ever.* Intaafon no chaimu no oto/ mimi wo fusagu torikago no shounen *The boy sits tucked inside a birdcage, ears covered to drown out the ringing school bell.* Mienai teki to tatakatteru rokujou hitoma no donki hoote *I’m fighting an enemy I can’t even see inside a one room department store.* Gooru wa dousei minikui mono sa *I’ve seen the prize, and it doesn’t look all that great.* Boku ga shinou to omotta no wa tsumetai hito to iwareta kara *There was a time when I thought about dying, because everyone said I was heartless.* Aisaretai to naiteiru no wa hito no nukumori wo shitte shimatta kara *And whenever someone cries longing for another’s love, it’s because they accidentally learned what the real thing feels like.* Boku ga shinou to omotta no wa anata ga kirei ni warau kara *There was a time when I thought about dying, because you had to have such a pretty smile.* Shinu koto bakari kangaete shimau no wa kitto ikiru koto ni majimesugiru kara *And whenever someone can’t help but think about dying, I’m sure it’s because we’re trying a little too hard.* Boku ga shinou to omotta no wa mada anata ni deattenakatta kara *There was a time when I thought about dying. It must have been because I hadn’t met you yet.* Anata no you na/ hito ga umareta sekai wo sukoshi suki ni natta yo *And if people like you can exist in this world, then maybe I like it a little after all.* Anata no you na/ hito ga ikiteru sekai ni sukoshi kitai suru yo *And if people like you are living in this world, then maybe it’s alright to hope a little too.*
I don't know why none of the lyric translations mention that 'don kihōte' literally means Don Quixote. She literally means that she feels like she's Don Quixote in a 6 mat room.
Mika could sing with this level of emotion in this song because it's one of those songs that you'll click with immediately only if you, too, have experienced things that other people might never understand. She lost her hearing and was bashed by fans and netizens for 'crappy out-of-tune singing', subsequently evaporated from the stage. Being a singer, losing your voice meant losing your bread and butter, and she fell into a deep depression, returning a couple of years later with this song and singing again. My tears wouldn't stop when I heard this song for the first time; I heard her desperation, her depth of feeling, the sense of "I know there's no reason for me to be sad all the time, but I just am, and I'm sorry for that". I feel her so much.
Reposted from Warlords0602- "That's what makes this version perfect, at the time of the show, she was suffering from an incurable disease that is deafening her. She was known for her perfect voice but of course when she can't hear it, it becomes completely trashed. Any other person would've announced their resignation but nope, she came back with a travelling live show half a year later. That is, after her new songs were relentlessly trashed on by media and everyone else simply coz she can't control her voice. So that's what makes this song great for me, coz you know at this point she's singing with her heart, trying desperately to catch the rhythm with steps and touching the speakers. I would agree skills and presentation-wise she's not doing her best, sometimes going too fast and other times just breaking her voice, but somehow with that imperfection you can just feel her energy booming across. I did cry listening to the song after learning the story behind it, this video also cut out a bit of talking before the song. Essentially she said she was really moved by it when she listened to it, and she understands how it feels to be completely alone in the dark with no hope to be seen, that's why she chose that song to conclude the concert." Like this so that new people here can read this.
The part about wanting to die because the shoelaces had come undone really hit home for me. It reminds me of the times when little things that I had failed to do made me cry and breakdown. It felt like everything in the world was against me, and I couldn't fix anything. To outsiders it might have looked like I was throwing a tantrum, but I can't explain how broken I felt inside. And the usage of shoelaces as a metaphor for relationship ties was such a poignant line. This is truly brilliant writing :' )
@@MonsterhunterFTWWTF Amazarashi gifted the song to her, after hearing about her struggles with depression. And this video cuts the part where she monologues before the song, talking about how she heard the original song and found herself crying. She had lost her hearing and couldn't sing in tune and disappeared for a few years relearning how to sing in tune without being able to hear herself. As a singer, losing her voice hit her strongly and she lapsed into depression the few years away from the stage.
Clinical Depression for me..... You are just bored in your life, loss interest in everything and you have this constant feeling that you want to Fully Disappear Your Whole Existence in this World! Thanks Mika Nakashima for singing this song, it helps me a lot especially when I'm in this state/cycle or episode.
This is one of my favorite songs of all time and finding out about Mika's story and the passion she put into this performance is so inspiring. Her voice is beautiful and overcoming the trials she went through to sing again shows a type of strength many of us are still trying to find in ourselves. God bless her. Just by sharing this gorgeous song, I am sure she has helped a lot of people keep going. :)
I can't stop listening to this song without tears....I have never heard a song so personal and such a shift in emotion is enough to make even the coldest person weep.
Sometimes YoutTube has really good suggested videos, the studio version of this song was one of those and this live version is one of the most beautiful things. On the other hand if I'm not logged into my YT account YT is one of the most horrendous places to be on the internet. Thank you so much for uploading this and providing subtitles. Videos like this are some of the best parts of my days.
Although I can not understand Japanese, I cannot hold my tears. The weird thing is that I almost never cry as my culture really discourages a man cries and thinks it’s weak. Fabulous performance!!!
(Not sure if you know, but you can turn on the captions to see the english translation! :D) Crying is not weakness. You're a human being, you have emotions. People who say you shouldn't cry only say that because they don't know how to deal with it; it's THEIR problem, not yours.
Anyone who are going through tough times, it’s ok to break down, pick up yourself another day. Hang on there everyone, I’m sure good days will eventually come, hang on just a little more, u can do it.
she is so amazing... i can't even express my admiration for her courage and determination. she is ten times better than most singers nowadays, even with a condition detrimental to singers... her emotion, her voice, her performance, oh gosh it's beautiful. she's amazingly talented. i admire you, mika nakashima. i hope you will be happy and healthy forever
my friend sent this to me and now i'm crying. thank you, mika. thank you to whoever uploaded this. thank you to whoever translated. thank you, friend, for showing this to me.
This song makes me cry too. I've listened to Mika Nakashima for a long time now but my husband has never heard this song of hers. I showed it to him last night and we both ended up crying. I overdosed two weeks ago and ended up in the hospital for a few days. I've been battling anxiety and depression for over 20 years now. This past year has been incredibly difficult with my grandmother passing away, many people dying at my workplace from COVID-19, the stress of working in healthcare during a pandemic and being newly married and moving to a new place. I guess it all just caught up to me - all the things I haven't been able to cope with. I think this song helped him understand all of my feelings a little bit more and that's why he cried.
My favorite version better than the original but those lyrics really cut it best.Thumbs up! Amazarashi thanks for amazing lyrics it reflects on how I live in the past cause I was like this too now ive become someone I never wish to be and I know for sure when I die I will truthfully say sorry to myself for what I've become
this song completely described my situation and of course others too.. what makes it even emotional for me because at the end the lyrics reminds me of my dear friend, the only hope that keeps me going trying to move forward..I've got no family so I've been this way all the time but at the end of the day i always remember my best friend, indeed the lyrics written exactly what I've said to myself.. i wrote something closely similar to this few years ago but only found this song last year..still, surely not a regret, wonderful song💕
The song, the lyrics, the performance, the story of Mika and everything about this song just fills me with this emotion that i can't even put into words
@@lammchop9472 I didn't see a notification about this comment oh my goodness. Idek what to say but thank you for caring enough for a total stranger to comment. I'm ngl, it's been tough these last 2 years for me. But I don't feel so alone as of late. Thank you😁
@@jerahs2838 I'm sorry for replying so soon after your comment, but when my notifications showed this, I had to say thank you. Even though this comment is 2 years old, I'm glad that some people like you were concerned enough for a stranger on the Internet like me. Life definitely been rough for me but I'm not alone like I was 2 years ago. I've got these demons to slay, but I'm not doing it alone this time. Thank you for your encouraging words! 😁
Chinese lyrics: 《曾经我也想过一了百了》 boku ga shi nou to omotta nowa u mi ne ko ga sanbashi de na i ta ka ra 仆 が 死のうと思ったのは ウミネコ が 桟橋 で 鳴いたから 我曾想死是因為 海貓在碼頭鳴叫 nami no manima ni u kan de ki e ru kako mo zubande tonde ike 波の 隨意 に 浮かんで消える過去も啄ばんで飛んでいけ 隨著波浪一浮一沉 叼啄著過去飛向遠方 boku ga shi nou to omotta nowa tanjoubi ni anzu no hana ga saitakara 仆が死のうと思ったのは 誕生日に 杏の 花が咲いたから 我曾想死是因為 生日那天杏花開放 so no ko mo re bide utata ne si tara mushi no shigai to tsuchi ni nareru kana その木漏れ日でうたた寢したら蟲の死骸 と 土 になれるかな 若是在那灑下的陽光里打盹 能否化為蟲之死骸 hakka ame gyokou no toudai sabi ta a^chi gyosu teta jitensha 薄荷飴漁港 の 燈台錆びたアーチ 橋舍てた自転車 和土壤呢薄荷糖 漁港燈塔 生鏽的拱橋 廢棄的自行車 mokuzou no eki no suto^bu no mae dedokonimo tabidatenai kokoro 木造 の 駅のストーブの 前 でどこにも 旅立てない心 木造車站的暖爐前 無法啟程到任何地方的心 kyowa marude kinou mitaida asu wo kaerunara kyou wo kae nakya 今日はまるで昨日みたいだ明日を変えるなら今日を変えなきゃ 今日與昨日相同 想要改變明天只能改變今天 waka tteru waka tteru keredo 分かってる 分かってる けれど 我知道 我知道 但是啊 boku ga shi nou to omotta nowa kokoro ga karappo ni nattakara 仆 が 死のうと思ったのは 心 が空っぽになったから 我曾想死是因為 心已空無一物 mi tasarenai to na i te i ru nowa kitto mitasaretai to negau kara 満たされないと泣いているのはきっと満たされたいと願 うから 感到空虛而哭泣 一定是因為想要填滿 boku ga shi nou to omotta nowa kutsuhimo ga toketa kara 仆 が 死のうと思ったのは 靴紐 が解けたから 自己我曾想死是因為 鞋帶鬆開了 musu bi naosu nowa negate nandayo hito tono tsunagari mo mada shikari 結びなおすのは苦手なんだよ人との 繋 がりもまた然 り 不擅長重新系起 與人的牽絆亦是如此 boku ga shi nou to omotta nowa shounen ga boku wo mitsu meteitakara 仆 が 死のうと思ったのは 少年 が仆 を 見つめていたから 我曾想死是因為 少年凝視著我 beddo no ue de dogeza siteruyo a no hi no boku ni gomennasai to ベッドの上で土下座してるよあの日の 仆 にごめんなさいと 在床上下跪 向那天的我說抱歉 pasokon no husuakari joukai no heya no seikatsu on パソコンの薄明かり上階の 部屋の 生活音 屏幕的微光 樓上的噪音 inta^fon no chaimu no oto mimi wo fusagu tori kago no shounen インターフォンのチャイムの音耳 を 塞ぐ 鳥 かごの 少年 電話的鈴聲 塞起耳朵 那籠中的少年 mie nai teki to tatakatte ru roku jo hitoma no donkiho^te 見えない敵と戦って る 六畳一間 のドンキホーテ 與看不見的敵人戰鬥著 六畳一間的唐吉可德 go^ru wa dousei minikui monosa ゴールはどうせ丑いものさ 戰利品終歸是醜陋的 boku ga shi nou to omtta nowa tsumetai hito to iwaretakara 仆 が 死のうと思ったのは 冷たい人と言われたから 我曾想死是因為 被說成是冷酷的人 ai saretai to na iteiru nowa hito no muku mori wo shitte shimatta kara 愛されたいと泣いているのは人の溫 もりを知ってしまったから 想要被愛而哭泣 是因為嘗到了人的溫暖 boku ga shi nou to omtta nowa anata ga kirei ni warau kara 仆が 死のうと思ったのは あなたが綺麗に 笑う から 我曾想死是因為 你美麗的笑了 shinu koto bakari kangaete simau nowa kitto ikiru koto ni majime sugiru kara 死ぬことばかり 考えてしまうのはきっと生きる事に真面目すぎるから 一味的想著死的事 一定是因為太過認真的活 boku ga shi nou to omtta nowa mada anata ni deatte nakatta kara 仆 が 死のうと思ったのは まだあなたに出會って なかったから 我曾想死是因為 還未與你相遇 anata no youna hito ga umareta sekai wo sukoshi suki ni natta yo あなたのような人が生まれた世界を 少 し好きになったよ 因為像你這樣的人生於這世上 我稍稍喜歡這個世界了 anata no youna hito ga ikiteru sekai ni sukosi kitai suru yo あなたのような人が生きてる世界に 少 し期待するよ因為有像這你樣的人生活著讓我對這個世界稍微有些期待了
thank you for helping me out by the power of music in 2018 which my most suffering year is.At that period when every time I heard it my tears would flow down and I couldn’t hold it at all
Thank you for putting this up and the subtitles. I'd listened to the studio version on Spotify but never really grasped the meaning behind the lyrics. But this version really resonated with me. The lyricist has lived with depression, experienced life where even the beautiful things have an edge of sadness to them, where a fear of change prevents them from progressing, where sadness is comforting because it's a reminder that you can still feel the void. What spoke to me was the part about the undone shoelaces. I've always been bad with strings and knots and threads, and having that linked with being unable to connect with others felt somewhat meaningful. But what really got me going was the last part, where I saw it as her singing to her fans, that she can hold hope because people like them exist. And then somehow, it felt like she was singing to me, telling me that my existence matters. That was when I had one of the most cathartic cries I've had in a while. This my friends, is what great art looks like - that even across the gap of time, space, and through a screen, those emotions reach out and touch one at such a personal level.
That is a really generous soul should be............... Definitely in love with this song. And it's will help me to face to everything no matter what is it........ Thank you!
I got all kinds of chills just from this song truly a great inspiration we can ever see in our life she was at the edge of defeat but she came back stronger than ever this what u call dedication and willingness huge respect to mika this song makes me shed a tear everytime i hear it because i can hear the pain from her song i can see the emotions she has hiding inside of her in this performance i love her and this song💯😭❤️
i never heard such beautiful song before i cant help it but it touches my heart deep deep this song is just amazing ... i could not describe it not in words but in tears... thank you so much
I remember the first time I heard this song. So heartbreaking. So desperate. So lonely. But at the same time, it gives me courage in the end of the song. At that time I didn't know the stories behind of this song. May god bless mika nakashima for all of her effort.
Dios, como puede existir una canción tan hermosa? Quiero agradecerle a la cantante por escribirla, y a las personas que las traducen, para dar un poco de esperanza a los demás.
This song hits me so hard....i always cried no matter how many i listened to it I hear something crackin , something deep down inside that may be called *heart*
Wow♡ This song is a gift to my heart. So raw yet so beautiful. The world isnt perfect. It isnt always rainbows and butterflies. It's cruel, sad and amazing... just like this song that finaly speaks the truth.
I’ve read all about her and I have nothing but admiration! How terrible must it be for her and to still manage to sing anyway. Thank you Lee Changsub for introducing this wonderful song to everyone.
I think the 少年 at 2:49 shouldn't be translated as "some kid". It's actually the younger version of lyricist on a photo so it should be something like "the youngster".