Milton Jones' BEST One Liners | Stand-Up Spotlight Compilation | Jokes On Us

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A joke-packed compilation of The King of Puns - Milton Jones 👑 from almost every single episode of Mock The Week in which he makes an appearance. A true national treasure and one of the reasons the person writing this began their love for comedy (hence making the edit in the first place).
00:00 - Health (Series 8, Episode 1)
01:04 - Family (Series 9, Episode 1)
02:52 - Travel (Series 10, Episode 1)
04:19 - Entertainment (Series 10, Episode 4)
05:37 - Food (Series 10, Episode 5)
07:04 - Careers (Series 10, Episode 10)
08:44 - Relatives (Series 11, Episode 2)
09:58 - Nationality (Series 11, Episode 4)
11:24 - Employment (Series 11, Episode 5)
12:55 - Family (Series 11, Episode 8)
14:29 - Entertainment (Series 14, Episode 2)
15:48 - Work (Series 14, Episode 5)
17:17 - Medicine (Series 14, Episode 7)
18:29 - Transport (Series 14, Episode 11)
19:56 - Music (Series 15, Episode 3)
21:18 - Jobs (Series 15, Episode 6)
23:04 - Shopping (Series 15, Episode 7)
24:40 - Transport (Series 15, Episode 10)
25:53 - Safety (Series 16, Episode 7)
27:30 - School (Series 16, Episode 11)
28:54 - Transport (Series 17, Episode 2)
30:10 - History (Series 17, Episode 4)
31:41 - Travel (Series 17, Episode 8)
32:57 - Parenthood (Series 18, Episode 4)
34:31 - Shopping (Series 18, Episode 6)
35:38 - Communication (Series 18, Episode 10)
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#JokesOnUs #Comedy #StandUp #MiltonJones #MockTheWeek

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14 май 2024

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Комментарии : 614

@barryvyner1161 4 месяца назад

There's amusing, there's funny, there's hilarious and then, several thousand feet above all of that is Milton Jones. Genius.

@ordinarybear7037 4 месяца назад

If you latin-ise it you willl see more in what is SAID !! Regards good One & All

@davidscott1052 4 месяца назад

Don't forget the other one liner king ..Gary Delaney

@ferise1 3 месяца назад

Not funny

@tom.tom501 3 месяца назад

@@ordinarybear70370😊❤

@mylovesongs2429 3 месяца назад

@@ordinarybear7037iloilo olOhio 3:15 >

@Showmetheevidence- 4 месяца назад

I think his “my other grandfather” routine is one of his best 😂

@jmcallion2071 3 месяца назад

A great comedian who can do comedy without crude language!

@biggusdickus5986 2 месяца назад

Yep very hard to do nowadays.

@markglass9123 4 месяца назад

I can enjoy hearing the same jokes from Milton at least as many times as his number of grandfathers.

@lisamccarthy6969 4 месяца назад

Me too...😂😂😂😂😂😂

@AnneDowson-vp8lg 3 месяца назад

How many grandfather's does he have? I've tried to work it out, but I soon lost count.

@markglass9123 3 месяца назад

@@AnneDowson-vp8lg The longer he keeps performing, the more new grandfathers he will describe. No other limit on the number that may yet emerge. Thankfully.

@JK-ox8vn 3 месяца назад

My other grandfather disagrees

@gordonmcmillan4709 4 месяца назад

"Downhill very quickly" is one of the cleverest things I've ever heard.

@universalfleece 3 месяца назад

LOL..I just made this comment and then found your comment 👌🤣 His greatest ever gag is his hangman joke in Lion Whisperer

@gordonmcmillan4709 3 месяца назад

@@universalfleece Ta, I'll go have a look.

@tomharrison1849 3 месяца назад

I think you need to get out more.

@David-hq4lq 2 месяца назад

@@tomharrison1849 Iwas just about to type your exact words !

@ghomerhust 4 месяца назад

ive seen some of his open stand-up, and he weaves his one liners into a full blown story. milton is a brilliant comic!!

@bensheekey1399 4 месяца назад

Love his deadpan delivery. The king of dad jokes

@MrDaiseymay 3 месяца назад

I always felt sorry for the other's, standing there trying not to grit their teeth.

@KAF128 3 месяца назад

@@MrDaiseymay actually, I've heard them say that Milton's material causes most delays in filming because the others can't stop laughing

@CasaErwin 2 месяца назад

When I first read this comment I thought it said "The king of bad jokes."

@movarvo1217 2 месяца назад

My 15 Yr old daughter does not concur....today's youth ehh..

@biggusdickus5986 2 месяца назад

@@CasaErwinShould have gone to Specsavers, they do deaf aids as well now, thats true by the way.

@loridancer9378 3 месяца назад

I like that the other comedians seem to relax a bit and just enjoy the heck out of Milton; he's like a treat for them 😊 🎉

@gkm3838 4 месяца назад

What a funny guy. I've never seen him before. Probably because I'm blind.

@AnneDowson-vp8lg 3 месяца назад

That's exactly his sense of humour.

@zorankp 3 месяца назад

You should see someone about that mate.

@adreenal 3 месяца назад

Christ! I didn’t see that one coming!

@biggusdickus5986 2 месяца назад

I think you're bluffing about being blind,... Geddit ? Blindmans Bluff ah c'mon 😂

@lorenanders702 Месяц назад

I see what you mean!

@juancardona9440 2 месяца назад

The topic is safety….brilliant! 😂 I’m in the U.S. and never heard of Milton Jones before. He has the face of Al Bundy and the wit of Robin Williams. Absolutely genius!

@bl3df0rdays 2 месяца назад

Yes, he does have an Al Bundy look about him.

@NiToNi2002 Месяц назад

Inspired by the great Steven Wright 😉

@hawkpaul8735 4 месяца назад

A comedy genius. He makes it look so easy.

@ivaneames4354 4 месяца назад

I don't think any of his jokes will ever beat the absolute gem he did in one of the 'Scenes We'd Like to See': "This dish is so simple anyone can make it. You can't, Beatrice. Sorry, you can't beat rice!" Classic.

@AngelicusImmortus 4 месяца назад

There is an outtake where Dara has lost his earpiece and makes a comment about getting old he thought he was getting deaf Milton says "you'll be losing your hair next" and Dara misses it but it gives Hugh the giggles.

@pwuk 4 месяца назад

They're all good, my favourite is "ABBAs greatest hits", something like unusual Christmas gifts .

@goldenagenut 2 месяца назад

He has you laughing before telling the first joke, and the laughter doesn't stop! 😂

@comedyfish 3 месяца назад

I first saw Milton at the comedy store like 30 years ago - he did that lard downhill joke and I’ve never forgotten it. One of the most amazing jokes I’ve ever heard even now.

@jfern1969 3 месяца назад

Yes, that's the one joke I can never forget 😊

@derekwoods4026 3 месяца назад

I think his PE teacher bit had a hidden joke. He says, "being a PE teacher," then proceeds to grunt like an A PE.

@Anglomachian 2 месяца назад

The genius of Milton is all in the delivery.

@jestermoon 2 месяца назад

35:45 💯 😂

@shanefoy3720 2 месяца назад

His face helps, too 😂😂

@pdrg 2 месяца назад

Honestly I think most of it is in the material - a trove of great one-liners

@ordinarybear7037 Месяц назад

No its the complete package.....

@tompage6421 4 месяца назад

Just like Tommy Cooper. Gets a laugh before he opens his mouth. Class. 👍🇬🇧

@derekday4832 2 месяца назад

Tommy Cooper. Now there's a funny man who never corpsed on stage.

@biggusdickus5986 2 месяца назад

@@derekday4832he missed his last curtain call 😂

@Burnersforvanlife Месяц назад

Compared to Tommy this guy is funny, but not as funny.

@aaronpincus6095 4 месяца назад

Milton's 'Call Back' to other comics jokes is hilarious. They don't show them here but we all know them. "Goes Strawberry' is my favorite.

@ThatCoalSoul 4 месяца назад

They're more 'quick-time~references' and you're not the flavour of the comedy night if you do them ...I speak from particular experience.

@ghomerhust 4 месяца назад

watched an Apollo special of his, laughed for 20 minutes straight. he tied his one liners together with silken thread, and then unleashed it on the audience. absolutely brilliant. to the people who don't get his comedy, it's more layers deep than you can comprehend.

@seanhuxter6724 3 месяца назад

“My uncle worked at the security desk at the o2 arena…”

@SonnyCheung1 4 месяца назад

Imagine getting your first opportunity to do the standup challenge and your opponent is Milton Jones...

@nicholasturton9267 3 месяца назад

One of his best jokes for me is the one where he took his wife to an orchard for her birthday only to find out what she really wanted was an apple watch

@universalfleece 3 месяца назад

That downhill pretty quickly joke is one of the greatest ever 👌👌🤣🤣

@EponaDreams-AmbientDreamscapes 3 месяца назад

Saw Milton at a comedy club around 10 years ago, and this joke cracked me up... After 9 days of walking to Torquay with my 7 year old nephew I suddenly realised that what he really wanted for his birthday was a walkie-talkie

@user-jn1ot1db5p 4 месяца назад

Russel Howard looks on thinking I could never be this funny … and Russell you are correct

@CaptainSpock1701 3 месяца назад

I can remember every single joke that he tells in this video... as he is busy telling them... Then it's gone! How he remembers all at the drop of a hat is beyond me!

@coolcat6103 3 месяца назад

Lmao he doesn’t!! It’s all scripted, everything is weeks in advance and he has tons of co writers…..how people think this live off the top of his head is beyond me

@tomharrison1849 3 месяца назад

Rubbish @@coolcat6103

@biggusdickus5986 2 месяца назад

@@coolcat6103Think you missed his point, he still has to remember them on the day, besides which I've seen him in Wales and he improvised all night. I think you're just projecting. 😅

@coolcat6103 2 месяца назад

@@biggusdickus5986 projecting what?

@Bigkevy1970 4 месяца назад

Love Milton Jones. Absolute genius!!

@johnwickenden5643 3 месяца назад

Best comedian I've ever heard, brilliant delivery, incredible jokes, and I like the fact they're clean. Well done ! Much appreciated.

@INKI_teh_Rogue 2 месяца назад

I love how everyone always focuses in for Milton 🤣🤣🤣

@nonesterj8152 4 месяца назад

Oh dear, I have a really bad cough and I shouldn’t have watched this. I’ve coughed so hard I can’t swallow. So funny 😂

@catherinewilliams3850 4 месяца назад

Your not alone, just lauhged myself to an asthma attack😂

@steveelliott5643 3 месяца назад

you ve bin married too long,thats all love

@waynecarter2169 3 месяца назад

The joke about his family of Jeans not getting into the nightclub was brilliant. I love the fact that he paused and let the audience assume that they knew the punchline, thinking it was going to "sorry, no jeans" and then he switched it up to "you're all wearing trainers" 😆😆😆

@hennersss 2 месяца назад

Yeja it's a very old technique, but a good one

@jonny5352 4 месяца назад

Saw Milton a few years ago and he did a joke for a guy at the front in a wheelchair, he said did you hear about that pub that's only for people in wheelchairs? It's called the over developed arms lol.

@juskahusk2247 2 месяца назад

His grandfather was a G.I. and in the RAF and was a submariner. After the war he opened a pub called The Combined Arms.

@cryptogcrypto Месяц назад

The guy thought it was wheelie good

@juskahusk2247 Месяц назад

Did you hear about the pub with no chairs? It's called the Stand and De-Liver.

@AngelicusImmortus 2 месяца назад

i love how he makes Ed Gamble both panic & break in the prat fall for "safety"

@JK-ox8vn 3 месяца назад

Always gets a laugh simply for walking to the microphone. Because punters know he's funny.

@Sequekhan 2 месяца назад

Could also be the wild static hair style and stare combo

@craigfowler7098 3 месяца назад

The hosepipe ban hit us hard - lol

@scottlarocca 4 месяца назад

25:54 Milton's response to "Safety" is priceless 😂

@ianstewart6021 4 месяца назад

I love the reactions of the other comedians laughing. What a class act!

@mattdl1983 4 месяца назад

Every time he steps up, the audience are giggling in anticipation and he never fails to deliver.

@Scribble336 4 месяца назад

Taped laughter.😂

@worstuserever 4 месяца назад

@@Scribble336Not true, live audience right there in the studio.

@Scribble336 4 месяца назад

@@worstuserever I get that but nearly all TV shows have taped laughter even with audiences.

@edopronk1303 3 месяца назад

@@Scribble336that would be interesting why they only do it for Milton. I know about QI that Jimmy Car said that the audience there laughed so much that people at home think it's a laugh track but it isn't. Life audience laughs more than homeviewers would expect.

@astrecks 3 месяца назад

@@Scribble336 British audiences don't need prompting with taped laughter! That's a US thing.

@matthewmason3316 2 месяца назад

Just come across this. It's absolutely brilliant. Very clever and very funny. Not rude and no swearing , how rare is that. Proves a point, though, doesn't it!!!

@dabedwards 3 месяца назад

The master of the dry left field gag. When I saw him in Glasgow, he apologised that he had not had time to change because he had only just arrived from the train station. He was wearing a magician's cloak and a turban with a large ostrich feather.

@ShakilAhmed-qd3vc 3 месяца назад

I have watched this numerous times, this guy is superb, straight faced! Mr Milton you are one of a kind,keep it up! Bless you and your Entire Family and All the One's from The Auctioneering Background, Over there,there,!

@user-jw8ec1ug1z 2 месяца назад

You are a comedic genius. Wonderful. Thank you for making me chuckle

@danielblaxill7649 3 месяца назад

You know you have it when the crowd laughs before you even open your mouth. Pure genius

@user-wm3bf7pi3u 3 месяца назад

Said the light house keeper.

@gullybull-rx2ng 4 месяца назад

I DONT KNOW HOW HIS BRAIN WORKS BUT ITS GENIUS

@keefsmiff 4 месяца назад

it's the lard gag that gets me every time pmsl

@ridefast0 3 месяца назад

Milton Jones and Tim Vine would make a great show!

@johnsutherland6808 2 месяца назад

I love this guy, he could read the phone book and have me in tears, in fact I'm half pished and half way there, so talented, pure dead, brilliant

@AngelicusImmortus 3 месяца назад

Love the P.E. teacher gag, particularly as my P.E. tutor was also a Geography tutor.

@newforestpixie5297 2 месяца назад

so was our schools’ girls’ - Miss Mennie . i saw her after 30 years & she hadn’t changed. ( that’s a joke possibly but she wasn’t smelly…) 🙄

@ianhowlett4682 4 месяца назад

6:56 Russian Roulette with a bag of Revels is my all-time favourite joke!

@tomellis4750 2 месяца назад

Lovely to see the other comedians appreciate a master at work.

@mariocurtis2208 3 месяца назад

Every other comedian gives Milton total respect, because his humour is just so funny. For me I am imagining the 'set up' actually happening - hide and seek in the oven! 😂

@daevanpatel4207 2 месяца назад

Milton is the only comedian who is worth this comment hats off hands down he always makes me laugh . Thank you Milton Jones 😂😂

@thomasbrown7845 3 месяца назад

And clean. Proves you don't need vulgarity or nastiness.

@stephenfennell 3 месяца назад

Yep, absolutely true. I've always noticed that with him.

@AnneDowson-vp8lg 3 месяца назад

This is so true. Never swears. Him and Bill Bailey are about the only ones who don't.

@peterrhodes9209 3 месяца назад

Tim Vine

@chrispetersen3151 2 месяца назад

Fuck that bullshit.

@gwauk205 2 месяца назад

It’s fu@king hilarious isn’t it…

@liamrowbotham2069 3 месяца назад

This guy is so clever and downright hilarious hes like our generation of tommy cooper him and tim vine are unique

@remaincalm2 2 месяца назад

Milton is best watched on RU-vid because if you're not laughing after hearing a punchline you can keep rewinding by 5 seconds until the penny drops. The issue is usually with the user, not the equipment. 😂 I love this guy's humour, clever play on words and imagination. It's still true that you don't need vulgarity or profanity to make people belly laugh.

@rootytuners 4 месяца назад

The “O2 security guard” gag doesn’t make sense without the rest of the show.

@ghomerhust 4 месяца назад

his real gift is those long running gags. his actual shows will tie early jokes to the later ones in very clever ways. he's one of the best one-liner comedians out there. absolutely brilliant.

@Mayaman67 4 месяца назад

That's why I didn't get it

@leonboois5414 3 месяца назад

I have no idea how this clip appeared in my video feed, but I have been enjoying it since this morning before going off to work! What a serendipitous find! My favourite was the mother telling the kids that a train was coming. On a different note, where did he buy all those psychedelic outfits of the hippie and disco eras?

@soullessbunny666 4 месяца назад

He doesn't even have to say anything and I'm laughing!

@ryanhenro7649 4 месяца назад

Never gets old 😂...brilliant stuff !!

@jimgilmore7391 10 дней назад

Truly brilliant. A genius of stand up!

@1710brett 4 месяца назад

I love Milton jones he's hilarious

@Golo1949 3 месяца назад

Believe it i have never heard of this guy, he is BRILLIANT. Definitely be looking out for him in the future.

@Hereford1642 3 месяца назад

Go searching for his radio series as broadcast on radio 4.

@diannebrook7183 Месяц назад

I'm currently listening to his podcast series 😅😅😅

@OldMod67 3 месяца назад

Never watched Mock The Week. This guy's one liners are amazing!

@streetsoundselectro124 4 месяца назад

How's your lucky pencil case now then! Still makes me laugh

@briannewman9285 3 месяца назад

His effortless humor reminds me of Robin Williams when RW wasn’t snorting coke.

@m.brizzy5407 2 месяца назад

It's a pity that Milton's delivery cannot be transferred to British rail, then all the trains would have perfect timing.

@brianvaughan2312 Месяц назад

He was Bob monkhouses favourite. That's saying something.. 😂😂

@NaomiCook-vs2gl 5 дней назад

This was one of the best stand-up routines I've seen in a while! Keep it up!

@michaelhawthorne8696 13 дней назад

Old school comedy but no bad language..... great to hear....👌

@malcolmdale9607 3 месяца назад

And not a single swear-word. Proof that you don't have to be obscene to be funny.

@harri2626 4 месяца назад

Truly brilliant, and not one swear word.

@catherinewilliams3850 4 месяца назад

The amazing mind of Milton, love this guy he's so quick with these one, liners on' 'Mock the week'.

@smithasureshholisticnutrit6287 4 месяца назад

Thanks for this...golden!!!

@257ian 4 месяца назад

Milton is brilliant 😂

@MATT-xv4bh 3 месяца назад

Me wife and I nearly cacked ourselves laughing last night.

@rxb364 3 месяца назад

That was a great compilation of videos! ❤

@temuridev 4 месяца назад

Legend.

@DavidMartin-gx8yl Месяц назад

Undoubtedly one of the best one liners comedians of all time. 😂👍

@jswaggart01 3 месяца назад

Milton is my hero. He’s a funny guy but I really like his fashion choices.

@williamdeluce5466 4 месяца назад

Absolutely brilliant. 😂😂😂😂

@Plateaudweller 4 месяца назад

Milton is awesome. So deep.

@michaeldillon3113 4 месяца назад

I would love to see Milton in conversation with Tim Vine 🙂.A one liner off ! Surreal to say the least 😅.

@user-wp5ix9hy8c 4 месяца назад

He is a good funny man i like his One liners absolutely fantastic 😊

@michaeledwards2333 Месяц назад

Seen Milton at the MICF a few years ago, laughed for the entire show, like when watching these videos

@gwae48 3 месяца назад

killing me. 🤪🤣 Best laugh in years.

@disposablehero4911 4 месяца назад

That SAS question joke is so dang smart...and funny.

@malcolmclarke3033 3 месяца назад

The man is a genius with words and expressions.

@RE7Hazuki 4 месяца назад

My fave joke I tell people all the time is the lad on grandfathers back - going down hill quickly 😂

@truerosie 4 месяца назад

Lard mate, lard.

@RE7Hazuki 2 месяца назад

@@truerosie yes. Damned fat fingers.

@ifstatementifstatement2704 2 месяца назад

This guy is too good LOL LOL

@ayehtunohn 2 месяца назад

Still the king of one liners.

@carlfrye1566 13 дней назад

Milton always LOOKS funny. Don't know if that is intentional but it works.

@FunTuberpro 4 месяца назад

Love this

@jimharris9354 2 дня назад

He's the best.

@VincentChee001 20 дней назад

He’s so good people start laughing before he even starts talking.

@andyprada2767 2 месяца назад

Fantastic ... well done!

@sprognosisj8924 4 месяца назад

Awesome!

@waynemitchell1076 3 месяца назад

Some new stuff from Milton. Nice 👍

@AmyWinehouse9and14. 4 месяца назад

"I'm going to skip a bit now" Lol

@jamescooper-hope6930 4 месяца назад

"Yahtzee sympathizer"😂

@adotopp1865 3 месяца назад

Brilliant!😄

@robertheinrichvonseyfenste267 3 месяца назад

UNBELIEVABLE.. the speed he finds his jokes...

@Quito266 29 дней назад

Just brilliant.

@grahambunton377 4 месяца назад

Milton is a true comedian - one who makes you LAUGH. As opposed to just turning up like Nish Kumar [of Lords Taverners fame], Greg Davies, etc.