Just a short little response video to recent news of NikkieTutorials coming out. Enjoy! Twitch: / paymoneywubby Discord: / discord Mail Address: PO Box 1225 La Mesa, CA 91944 Subscribe! goo.gl/Cqrqt9 Twitter: / paymoneywubby
One time I was on Tinder and I matched with this kinda quirky looking girl. Seemed nice and pretty cute. We got to talking and after a few messages in I asked her out on a date. She replied with, "I would love to go out with you, but I do want to let you know I'm going to start taking T really soon with the hope of becoming more masculine, so you'd have to be okay with that for this to go anywhere. If not, no hard feelings at all." It was so courteous. That kind of thing is outside my sexual preferences so I politely declined, and she said she gets it and wished me well. Sweet girl. Hope she's doing well.
omg thats hate speech??? like if you arent sucking a dick you are homophobic and transphobic if you are a man/girl and someone of the same gender hits on you and you DONT date them then thats homophobia and hate speech you fucking bigot?!??!?
Im glad I figured this out when I was younger. Im a straight dude, but I love tons of cute shit, cry at movies, my favorite color is purple, and I like dressing up my characters in cute outfits in video games. Never in my life have I ever thought "Oh, maybe Im a woman" or "oh, maybe Im gay." Im just me.
@no homo While he may have been understanding, it may still come as a shock to him on a biological level. What I mean by this is maybe he wanted to start a family and have kids that were his own with the woman that he loved. Unfortunately, given her trans status she cannot do that for him. It would definitely come as a shock to realize that staying with the woman that you love meant having to give up having children of your own and sometimes that can be a deal breaker. It's better for both parties to know up front so they can decide then and there if they'd like to proceed with a relationship.
@no homo I know nobody that would be willing to continue a relationship like that, and if you're willing to you're not straight, that's just how it is.
@no homo I honestly think he did not have much of a choice anymore. He had probably planned out a life in his head with her already, a house, a future and everything. Then she tells him she's trans and he is already so invested and in love that he has no choice to accept this is his life now. I would not be surprised if their relationship is a whole lot different after this. He might slowly start thinking straight and when those love glasses come off and he realizes his life was changed by her I am not sure if you can love the person that ruined your idea of life and a family.
I'm a straight male. When I was a kid I had asked for a barbie doll for my birthday present. I think I saw my cousins (female) playing with them and since they were older (=cooler), I figured that barbie dolls are the cool thing to have. My mom was surprised and made sure I knew what I was talking about. She got me the doll and I had a great time playing with it. Later on legos took over my life and the doll eventually ended up in the trash can. I never really thought about it but now I'm really thankful for my mom that she didn't make it a gender thing. Any weird pressure might have pushed me to try to conform to some weird norms one way or the other.
It’s important to raise your children in a gender neutral environment instead of enforcing gender norms. Letting kids be kids and figuring out who they are through self-discovery encourages healthy growth.
There's so much fucking disgusting transphobia and hate in the world that labeling honesty with a partner as transphobia seems to really just miss the point 🧡 much love to you
That point of "stereotyping girls things" is so fucking relevant to me. I'm a dude. I have long hair, played netball throughout college, played with my sister and her polly pockets (dolls for those who don't know), love the colour pink and I have never once thought I was a woman because I enjoyed those things. I have been comfortable in my own skin. I'm not discrediting those who would feel better in a different body, but labelling those kind of things alone as a reason, is not helping the divide between the stereotypes of these genders. (edit: oh and nailpolish)
Yeah, I'm trans and I agree with you. There's a difference between gender dysphoria (the disconnect between a person's mind and their biological sex, especially the sexual organs and characteristics, which cause distress and the desire to transition) and just being a feminine man/masculine woman. Being trans isn't as simple as 'a boy playing with girl's toys', it's a more complex set of requirements with more emphasis on the biological sex and sexual characteristics. A lot of people confuse gender roles with biological gender, which leads to some people mistakenly labelling themselves as trans when they're actually just going against gender roles.
Nah, your view on telling before falling in love isn't extreme, it's legit responsible. I'm a trans dude and I can't imagine ever starting a romantic relationship without it being addressed from the very start. Not addressing it can be seen as trickery and that's a big no no in sexual situations. But anyway, you're not a transphobe, you're absolutely right and open to the topic. So definitely a +1 from me on your subs, looking forward to seeing what more you got here.
I feel like, not telling someone from the start will make telling the person even more difficult because there is more at risk? It's a big thing to tell someone, but once you get over it in the beginning and you know how they will respond it's easier than already being deeply in love with each other, telling them, and then they might respond in a non accepting way which would hurt more to the both of you. Not telling them at all is unfair, but will also eat you up
@@Jellekee__ 100%! There can be more stress and challenges with dating a trans person, as any other health complication, so its understandable that not everyone is capable of handling that in a partner. So not telling them a big part that plays into life and sexuality early enough, it just adds more struggles. Besides, I think it's better to endure a potential small rejection than to have things blow up, if they decide to stay early on despite being trans then that's just more value to the relationship.
As a trans woman I can very safely say a that this community does harbor a lot of very aggressively active members who really are looking to hate. To many it’s not just bout being trans, it’s about supporting the narrative that they deem is fully supportive of trans women. In this I mean, not just equal rights and the normalizing of social norms, but following a certain alignment of political beliefs, religious beliefs, and arbitrary definitions that you may or may not agree with. These people will find a reason to call you sexist, if they can’t they will call you a racist, if they can’t they will say you aren’t trans or don’t support the LGBT. This is not the majority of us, however there ARE a lot of these types of LGBT and allies who think this way. It’s destructive, and makes us look like snowflakes who can’t have constructive discourse, they don’t speak for the trans community, they speak for their circles of virtue signaling professional victims, and are hurting our progress more than anything else
@@abyssal_yami9384 The fact that it has to be called a "situation" is kinda part of the issue ig. Its a place where you go to the bathroom, or maybe get changed in a stall. At no point, should anyone actually see anyone else being exposed in any way. So if someone has a penis, or even had a penis, its not like anyone else should ever have a reason to know that information. So as for the "it doesn't make me comfortable" argument, you should genuinely never know if someone is trans, they are just trying to relieve themselves in the bathroom that has been designated for that gender. As for the "its dangerous" argument, statistically, trans people are far more likely to be the victims of sexual crime than to be the perpetrators of it, in metrics which are almost shockingly one sided. Some people claim that "its an excuse for people pretending to be trans to go into the womens room". Okay, well we don't let bad actors ruin other things that way, we have school shootings but gun control is pretty lax overall. Just because someone can do harm because of something, doesn't mean we prevent everyone else from doing it. That being said, there have been 0 cases at this point, in which someone claiming to be trans used that to try to gain access to a women's restroom to harass or assault them. There was one instance of a teenage boy wearing a skirt having nonconsensual sex with their girlfriend in a bathroom in one high school, but they never claimed to be a woman, and they had planned to meet in the womans room anyway, so despite that news story being used as the only example, I really don't think it counts. At its worst, it makes people feel a bit weird, but there is no example of it causing harm, and if people were allowed to start transitioning a bit earlier (by which I just mean taking hormone blockers so they can make an informed choice without puberty making drastic changes to their physical development, then trans men and women would look like their preferred sex anyway, and no one would have any way of knowing if someone were trans. Its a complete non-issue, and honestly a lot of places have just started doing gender neutral bathrooms where all men and women can use the restroom in the same space because, it is literally just a room that has toilets.
i’m a trans guy and i completely agree w wubby. it is in both parties best interest to disclose this before anything gets serious. hell some people even get hurt for not disclosing this in some scenarios. to avoid any unclear feelings this needs to be addressed as early as possible.
@@fendo89 If you don't want the person you're with to know you're trans then you are being intentionally deceptive whether you want to accept that or not. It's horribly rude to the person you're with to not tell them your identity and who they are dating. It's literally saying screw their sexual preferences for my own emotional comfortability.
“In a community that is so quick to allow anyone to love who they prefer, they’re very quick to label you ‘transphobic’ if you don’t love who THEY prefer.” “In a world where I am allowed and celebrated to like who I like, you’re now labeling me and telling me I’m wrong.” WUBBY WITH THE FACTS
so you can totally not wanna date a trans woman the issue is why you dont wanna date a trans woman. If you dont like penises and she has a penis, thats a perfectly fine dealbreaker. But if they are passing, clothes on or off, they have no obligation to tell you that they were born a different gender. paymoney is completely obtuse for not specifying any of this in his video, so i have no idea if he's being a transphobic idiot or not.
There are always gonna be people who take things too far. But I promise, 99% of the teams community doesnt care if you have a preference, as long as you're not transphobic about it. Same thing with dating people of other ethnicities or religions.
@@toast4097 nope, please tell me where paymoney makes this distinction? He doesnt becsuse hes counting on idiots like you to agree with his hyperbole without question.
@@toast4097 there is no innate difference between dating a fully passing trans woman and dating a cis woman. There MAY be differences, but again, there was no nuance of this sort in the video.
I always identified as straight my partner came out to me as transgender early in the relationship before falling in love with them and I completely agree with wubby two years later we have a house together finishing college and still in love. telling ur partner is important and my views of my partner never changed upon revealing that information upon me the right person wouldn’t love you any less and waiting to tell them in fear of them leaving or judging only to find out they did just that is a waste of everyones time
well if hes a trans man then of course you wouldnt change your sexuality. yes some straight women have preferences but many straight women are attracted to trans men.
@no homo Well, I learn english on my own pace, not for you. And since I still have voice and you still undertood me, FU and go ahead and answer me in spanish porque ese es mi idioma estúpido, a ver si podés.
Im a girl and I was born a girl. I never felt that I was a boy even though I played with cars and rolled around in mud. Its just sounds weird to me when trans people say that beacuse they enjoyed something that is a stereotype of the opposite gender that that means they have to be that gender. I think it is a different story though when people talk about body dismorphia (idk how to spell it) saying that something was missing or wrong when they look in the mirror. But basing a transition solely on stereotypical things like dolls or cars is weird to me. edit: I also cut my hair really short at 12 . still am a girl
Nikkie isn't basing her transition solely on liking girl things, you're missing the point. She was talking about how when she was a kid, she always knew she was a girl and constantly did things that are stereotypically feminine. That's because she was a KID. Kids' understanding of gender is just what they see, and what they see is the stereotypes associated with gender. A little trans girl loving dolls and dresses is just how she'd express being trans, because that's all that kids understand up until that point. Nikkie's current view on gendered objects and concepts is completely unrelated, we're talking about her child self.
@Krista Star seen you pullin' some comments out of your ass too. Since you failed to understand the video let me at least explain myself in a simple matter. *See...your comments are shit*
I'm sure there's like 100 people who've brought this up but I'm gonna too. The whole "feeling like a girl" thing is more than likely an attempt to refer to the actual condition that happens in the brain called "dysmorpia" where one doesn't feel comfortable in their own body. Many of my friends who are trans have described that feeling of seeing themselves in the mirror and having their skin crawl because it doesn't feel like themself staring back. The problem here, though, is that there isn't any discussion of that discomfort. The clips shared here, she focuses on "I played with girl stuff and therefore I'm a girl." Plus, the fact the mom really wanted a girl might have honestly played a factor into how this all went down. This is all speculation on my part, I don't know her life, that's just my view I could be dead wrong. That's just my two cents on a year old video that I'm sure no one's gonna see
Yea that's true. If your mom constantly reminds you throughout your childhood "I was CONVINCED you were going to be a girl" you're going to hold that in the back of your head for everything you do. You develop a sort of confirmation bias, where anything remotely connected to female stereotypes fits you in line with your "TRUE gender" as your mom put it. Parents have a lot more influence on their kids who transition than people think. It's rarely ever just them who contributes to the ultimate decision
5:15 that's always bugged me too. Everytime I hear about a Male to female trans story they always say they felt like a girl because they liked the color pink and played with dolls...when all that does is perpetuate stereotypes of how and what girls should be.
9/10 transwomen always 100% of the time base it on early-life femininity. It's as if they stop thinking about what it means to be a woman at 18. They fetishize the young girl experience.
@@cynthiaerune3554 he's just saying it's like a complex or some such. that they obsess over early life femininity as a sort of launching point. not that it's a sexual fetish(although could be). cant really describe it well but i hope that helps
sexual trauma and pedophilia are human things. they are portrayed in movies, books, songs, paintings etc. liking anime makes you no more a pedophile or rapist than liking the color purple makes you a girl. which by they way they don't.
absentsnail. Why should anyone value trans opinions when you people force compliance and take any question about it as a personal attack? Trans people are just a loud and very vocal minority
When things looked like it was going to go somewhere with my gf of 4 years now, I told her immediately about my troubled past, depression, and suicidal tendencies. I feel like anything that really impacted your life for the better or worse, like being trans, needs to be told before getting serious.
Although there are similarities it's not exactly the same situation. You also need to be careful not to imply that being trans is a negative thing in the same way as depression. I don't think trans people like to think of it as a flaw, for some reason.
@@totalbozo I think it is in general the same situation; OP said that anything that has impacted your life for BETTER and worse you should tell your significant other. He just gave his mental health as an example of that- not to compare depression with being trans, but to share with a potential partner something that is difficult and integral to you, and potentially hard for your partner to deal with. OP was just meaning that you should be totally upfront with someone you see a future with, especially early on so you are completely fair with their expectations of you and their future with you.
Imagine the person you've been putting your effort and time and trust into building a relationship and life together... Telling you that they haven't being honest about something like that, that theyve not been honoring that trust you've put forth for them. I would not ever want to be with someone thats shown me they feel like it's okay to hide something that important in a relationship. It shows that they aren't really in it for you just as much as they are in it for themselves.
As a trans woman, the worst choice I have made was waiting to tell someone. I learned from that mistake and I tell people as soon as I think I might start a relationship.
Hey Wubby! trans person here. I know this video is old, but I thought I'd give my answer to that last question too - often "feeling" trans comes from dysphoria, or feeling uncomfortable with your body parts/secondary sexual characteristics to the point of distress. Dysphoria can also come from being uncomfortable with your social role, as a lot of gender perception (especially as a child) comes from what you're taught about gender from stereotypes/other people. I think she was trying to simplify it/make it easier to understand by just going with "i used to do this/that as a child", because kids are often taught those are the rules of boys/girls, and boy/girl children tend to play with those toys and do those things (as far as we're taught/what we observe). So yeah, labeling sucks, but I think there's some thought here in what she said that is hard to see without an explanation. I'd love to have a conversation given the chance, you seem like someone who just wants to be informed.
@@ShelliWelli no I think it’s important to mention that is the whole purpose of the video and that fact remains the message. He may not be on the ball with everything but his intentions seem well and getting somthing else slightly wrong shouldn’t take away from the main point.
The fact that you don’t tell someone who you’re trying to establish a loving relationship with. You NEED to tell the partner when you BEGIN that relationship not after. I’d feel lied too and heartbroken if the person I loved held something as important as that away from me
Trust is important in a relationship, so it's a distrustful move to hide it, and makes the other feel bad because they would feel like they couldn't be trusted.
ok, i think she was using stereotypical girl things to further show that she was always a girl. i don't like labels either but i push my more masculine side to show that i was and always will be a man. i'm not sure if this makes any sense but it's my explanation of it. also most people when they say they want to be free of labels they don't mean the labels themselves but rather the constraints put on them. all those things are stereotypical girl things, but that label shouldn't restrain boys from doing those things again i'm not sure if i make any sense lol
Oh damn yeah some might see it as kind of "overcompensating" but it's almost like course correcting. Like you were raised a certain way so you're taking on stereotypically masculine attributes to ease the disforia
i think so as well. it's still stereotypes but it's kind of bittersweet because she just used them to prove she was a real girl. i wish she didn't have to prove it to anyone but thats just how things are rn
People get confused between masculine and feminine and male and female - there is a difference in male and female brains and bodies and so some characteristics are most common to each gender respectively. That being said, males can have feminine traits and females can have masculine traits, and just because someone can be a mixture of masculine and feminine, it does not mean they're a) a new gender b) the opposite gender or c) weird or wrong for being that way Relationships, I think, shouldn't be labelled the way they are anyway - if you like someone, you like them and I don't think it should be labelled differently based on the social groups you fit into
I have a 4-and-a-half year old son. He's got hair all the way down to his arse, he loves flower crowns, doll houses, painting his nails, wearing his pink unicorn jammies and after trying soccer decided he hated it and wants to do dance lessons. Thanks to his long hair he is always mistaken for a girl. I never went out of my way to correct people, although I have always used male pronouns for him and usually people caught on. Since he's been old enough to understand and verbalize the concept, he has corrected people of his own accord, occasionally getting frustrated and yelling "I'm a boy!" at people if they continue to mess up. I've never told him any of the things he likes were "girls" things and have had to constantly defend his interests to 'well intentioned' family members who are 'concerned he's going to be bullied' while passively bullying him. So I believe 100% that the above charactaristics are sterotypes for what is "girly". But I also believe that kids know what they are, and if playing with dolls or trucks is what makes sense to them then they can use that to express the things they can't verbalize yet.
Not to say feeling uncomfortable in your body is wrong, but I definitely agree with this stance. If he likes "girly" things but he corrects people about being a boy, he is just a boy who likes "girly" things. No one needs to tell him his interests are just for girls and make him think if he wants to be interested in or wear whatever he wants he has to be a girl to do so. You can be male and like those stereotypically girly things and not be trans, you just like what you like.
"A boy" should just mean he was born with male genitalia. We should live in a world where you can want 100% girly stuff and don't feel the need to be something other than what you already are to enjoy that.
I'm a straight male and dressed up as a girl, had my nails painted, and played with dolls when i was really young. Just because my 1 sister wanted a little sister but got a little brother. i don't really see how those things reflect me. I used to do that shit and I'm still a straight male. a kilt is still a type of skirt, kiss wears make up but is still male, action figures are still dolls. It's just makeup, toys, and clothes. it doesn't represent shit
nah i know what you guys mean, it's kinda hard because you have to use these stereotypes as a launching point for realizing you're different but that's also labeling which is contradictory to what you want you know. you're fucked either way lol
Lol I had a reply for this comment that was pretty neutral but either wubby (yeah I don't think so) or youtube deleted it... I guess you can't ANY criticism whatsoever for the lgbt even if you side with them in the same comment... what a great platform... I love communism
@@tropicalfruit4571 *I love capitalism RU-vid’s a company. And they’re not exactly pro LGBT. They routinely deem anything gay or trans “not safe for children”.
@@NidorinoAlliance They literally ban/demonitize anyone who says anything transphobic/homophobic. But sure, let's just pretend youtube isn't pro LGBT when literally they reworked their guidelines and TOS because of Steven Crowder and that guy from VICE.
Call me old fashioned but I’ve always thought that the foundation of a healthy relationship is that it’s built on trust and honesty. Not telling somebody you’re trans is the antithesis of being truthful and honest.
Probably going to get a lot of hate for this but I was actually in this situation. I'm a straight male and was talking with this girl for a while, nothing seemed off to me. She had a women's chest and soon we started dating after a month or so. It wasn't until later she told me she was trans. She still had the downstairs of a man and wanted to get it changed one day. I honestly lost all feeling quickly and we broke up. I kept it respectful, but it became a huge argument. Her friends came after me and harassed me on social media after she accused me of being transphobic. I don't have any issues with trans people, more power to you. But, the same way you are allowed to be whoever you want to be, I'm also allowed to want to be with a female, who was born female, and who has always had female plumbing. It's no different than not preferring red heads, or not wanting to date people that smoke. People shouldn't have to conform to such things and be with people they don't want to be with. If a gay guy threw a fit about a straight guy not wanting them, that wouldn't be okay. If a straight guy threw a fit about a girl not wanting him, and how she needs to accept him, that's not okay. You're not entitled to have anybody like you. If they give you respect, you should give it back even if you don't necessarily agree, and that's true for everything in life.
It isn’t. I’d wager that 95-99% of the general public would agree with absolutely everything that Wubby is saying. The issue lies in the fact that there is a very loud minority of reactionary people who oppose this point of view. Too few media outlets want to call those people out on their bs because they’re too afraid of being labeled transphobes themselves. We just gotta wait this one out I guess 🤷♂️
I know I'm late to the comments but there are absolutely people who will explain it to you and answer questions. ContraPoints has excellent videos that discuss this and she doesn't pussyfoot around questions about her experience of being trans in a way that I think Wubby viewers also would like
You're spot on Wubby, on all accounts. It's a very important thing to disclose, and it seems the people who wanna reject labels the most are always the first to label someone.
I’m a certified mechanic amateur welder and have worked in concrete I’m one of the most stereotypical men I know yet I still let girls do my make up I I still play with dolls when around kids I still let girls do my nails yet I’m still a fully straight cis man born yet I’ll be labeled as a trans phone because I prefer not to date a trans person
Hey, I’m a trans guy and I’d like to give my feedback on the questions raised in this video. “Is it transphobic to not want to date a trans person?” Absolutely not. Just like wubby said, you can have a preference. It doesn’t matter what that preference is about whether it’s hair, eye color, or genitals, every one should be able to have a preference and it is your right to know going into a relationship whether or not someone is trans. As a trans person it is your responsibility to tell that person. “How do you know you’re trans if you’re just associating with labels?” This one is a bit harder to answer. Wubby put it well when he said he didn’t know what it felt like to be a man. I don’t know what it feels like to be a man either. I know what it feels like to not be a girl. It’s less of a “I’m a boy because I play with action figures” and more of a “I’m a boy because I know that this is not the correct body.” If you woke up with tits one day you’d know something was off. That’s all I can give feedback on. I’ve been a fan of wubby for a while and I’m glad he’s not submitting to all these idiots calling him transphobic because he wants the basic decency of knowing if his girlfriend is trans. Edit: Hey guys I’m glad this sparked a discussion but that’s what it should be. A discussion. Not a screaming match. We all have questions for the other side and none of them will get answered by getting angry the moment someone disagrees with you. You don’t understand them and they don’t understand you. Ask questions. Talk. That’s the only way to move forward a better understanding for all of us. Don’t throw a book at someone’s head and expect them to learn the material.
Hey, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I just have one question I've always wondered since I see it so often, if you're comfortable with answering. You said "I don’t know what it feels like to be a man either. I know what it feels like to not be a girl". How can you know this to be the case? How can you be confident in knowing what it feels like to not be a girl, or what it feels like to be a girl? You have one body, one life, so what is it that you're comparing yourself to if not society (through stereotypes and expectations)? Could this feeling of "not knowing" actually stem from something else? Uncomfortable with your body? Uncomfortable with the stereotypes and expectations that society placed on you? Wubby doesn't know what it feels like to be a man, because presumably, he is just wubby. He just has his one body that happens to be male. So what is it like to "feel" gender, or in your case, to not feel gender? Another question would be, if you feel like you are not a girl, why do you identify as a trans guy as opposed to something like agender?
@@rad1an to add onto this...like I've gone through puberty and I hated it. I hate all the dark hair everywhere, I hate periods, I hated the way my boobs were shaped while they were growing in and then the shape they were when they were "full grown". I hate that I can procreate, and become pregnant. Sometimes i just hate my hormones in general. I do not want to be Male. I do not feel that i am not female. I would just honestly feel more balanced being prepubescent. And it's not a feeling of wanting to be agender. I just dont want to deal with the negative side of these changes. I was chubby as a kid, so I wasnt like...thrilled with my body and wanted to be taller and leaner, but I was satisfied with it. It just worked and there was minimal maintenance. This is all just...mostly an emotionless assessment. I'm not attached to the idea like that's the way my body "should be". So what makes that vague desire different than wanting to be a different gender? Or wanting to be taller or have a different frame for aesthetic or creative reasons? Is it just "we dont have the technology to do that" to you? Or is there some fundamental difference that I dont understand? For me I have long past accepted that this just how my body gonna be. I dont have to like it, but it's easier to live with if I move on and just keep it in the best shape I can, as it is now. We all end up trapped in bodies that stop working or looking the way we want them to. What makes this situation different, and why does people recognizing you as a different label change that?
My girlfriend came out as trans - i was the last person she told, there was a lot of stuff going on behind my back. She said she was afraid to loose me, but the hiding and lying was worse than the trans part itself. Please just come out at the start - don't lie.
You don’t have to answer my question but did you break up, or did it cause some sort of problem in your relationship afterwards? Genuinely asking here.
@@vegetable1495 well to start, we are still together. Understandably it was a bit of a shock, a lot to think about. The first couple weeks were different, getting used to everything(names, pronouns etc). But now some time has passed, things are good. I won't lie, it's not ideal because I am straight at the end of the day and I do feel some physical attraction is lost. But on the whole I think I've gotten over it, she seems happy with how things have turned out. I am still a bit butt hurt with all the lying that went on, I felt like she couldn't trust me, that was what hurt me the most. But today, I don't feel like there are any troubles within our relationship, I'm sure she would agree as well. I hope I've answered your question correctly. If you want to know anything else just ask!
I'm a woman and was born a woman. And I kinda feel really uncomfortable when people say it's hair and nailpolish that made them realise they are a woman. I don't do make-up or hair in that sense, and I hate that this stereotype is being further promoted by people that say that labels are wrong. I am no less of a woman because I don't polish my nails or shave my legs. Please stop defining feminity as a bunch of stereotypical acts, and keep to the truth of it all. Feminity and masculinity are both ever-changing expressions of our species. It had fuck all to do with barbie dolls... Fuck dolls. I always liked Lego better anyways..
In my opinion, wubby is the greatest commentary youtuber, he's the only one able to speak about issues like this with enough logic and respect to not appear like he's whining or making fun of people, and for more absurd things he reacts to he's able to talk about them with an equal amount of comedy and honesty.
I find it funny how he manages to make videos like these and use the N-word and other slurs without getting massive massive flak. Most people even if they are great and genuinely accepting people still have biases or social issues against other people even without realizing it, I even realize this in myself sometimes. This dude knows how to see people for who they are it seems like.
Check out Jean Francois Gariepy. Wubby is good, he played this very safe while still attacking some ideas he didn't like which I have never seen him do, props to him.
I understand wubby's concerns, but I still think the situation is very sad and wasn't touched on. She was blackmailed into coming out, so she decided to come out on her own, and regardless of your opinion of her, that's such a fucked up thing to do to a person.
But the problem then lies if she wasn't blackmailed, would she have ever disclosed that to her fiancé or would she have just had sex with him one day and been like "Surprise! I've been trans for years and never told you"
I agree - started dating someone and told them right away I was questioning my gender even though it wasn't at the forefront of my life at the time. Later, started going through dysmorphia/dysphoria and knew it wouldn't be a problem to reach out for their help because they already knew it was a part of my life. Transparency (no pun intended) about identity is great in relationships!
@@DeadMansSwxtch I'm saying it's good to be up front so your partner is ready to easily support you through whatever you go through in the future, then you don't have to pause everything and explain the whole story because they know everything up to the point of beginning dating.
LE REDDIT COMMANDER How is that ridiculous? Being transgender is not about sexuality, it’s about identity. Why do you give a shit anyway? It’s not like trans people are going to force you to transition, girl.
But what does that make you? Are you gay? Everyone goes on and on about how labels are bad but I personally think we need more concise specific labels. Labels tell us what is good, what is bad, and gives people an idea of how to handle things. Labels are informative and don't deserve such bad reps. They are useful and I do not wish them gone.
I just discovered Wubby a few hours ago. I just want to say, I am both impressed at how open to conversation Wubby is about this subject (and avoiding low-hanging fruit) while being genuinely curious. AND I'm even more impressed that the comments are either supportive or constructively informative. I am in blissful awe over this. :) I believe in humanity a little more now. Thank you for showing me that even on the internet a positive, constructive conversation can happen with potentially sensitive topics.
I feel like when she described knowing she was a girl at a young age because she wanted to paint her nails and play with dolls it wasn't because those were feminine things but more because other girls were doing it and it's not about the feminine activities themselves it was more of an interpretation of what girls do "girls do this so because I see myself as a girl I want to do it too" that's what I think though so her experience might be different
I think the problem is we have like this groups who would go and say they don't want to conform to gender steriotypes so they give their kids a gender neutral environment But then the same groups would endorse those said gender steriotypes if the son show female behaviour and vise versa. Worst case kid just copied that thing he/she watched in tv and parents will assume their kids are trans there are cases like that just a few but they still happen.
This exactly. As much as it would be nice to not have stereotypes or label, they unfortunately are extremely ingrained in our society. I believe what Nikki is getting at is that if there were no labels of things that were "for girls" then she wouldn't have had to pick a label, if that makes sense... All in all I think these issues are really complicated, especially for the people directly involved, but we must ALWAYS go in with a mindset of openness and compassion.
alot of trans people don't like being called trans. they want to live life as if they have always been their preferred Identity. they want to fit in and seem normal and they don't want to be recognized as trans. alot trans women just want people to think that they are normal women. so i get it when you don't want to tell people when you are first getting to know them, and it may be difficult to let them in on that if they do start to grow closer to you as a person because you are afraid it might turn them away from you. i get that. but it is also unfair to keep that information from someone you get romantically involved with. because they may aspire to have kids and they may get their hopes up for that sort of thing makes it worse for them when you have to break that news. especially if they don't prefer trans women, and it ends up hurting them psychologically, making them feel confused and betrayed.
She participated in a Dutch television program, called Wie Is De Mol (WIDM), and I was watching with some friends, and literally the first second I was like she is a transgender.
Im trans and I agree with you, I want my partner to know that "hey, i dont have a dick" because just like me, they have a prefrence. maybe not everyone has a preference, but you cant hate someone for having one. I personally am attracted to other Trans Men like myself, im not interested in bio males, and im not attracted to trans women, but im atracted to bio females, everyone has a prefrence and thats okay
As a straight Male who wears pink nail polish and has hair down to my mid back, I'm not a woman I just happen to like those things and I agree that gender stereotypes make zero sense when it comes to trans people. If I agreed with gender stereotypes I guess I would be a girl now. To me the whole situation makes no sense just be what you want to and dont be an asshole about it.
yeah um painting your nails and having long hair doesnt mean youre trans. being trans isnt just 'being what you want to based upon gendered stereotypes" its an extremely deep thing that you know since youre young most the time and its just like how you KNOW youre male. its innate, its not based upon "you do this so youre trans"... just... no.
You... don't know shit about being trans, you've made some uneducated thoughts and are basing your opinion on those untrue ideas you have. You're essentially circlejerking... yourself. Guess what? I'm a trans guy and I also paint my nails! Omg does that make me a woman? No it fucking doesn't because gender roles and being trans have nothing to do with eachother.
Syno Nymous Idk if y’all in this comment section don’t know how to read or??? he’s literally saying that just because someone paints their nails or has long hair doesn’t mean they identify with the female gender. idk why you’re so damn butthurt about a dude who’s LITERALLY defending trans people, and saying that they don’t need to conform to every gender stereotype to be considered the gender they wish to be. Because if that were the case he would be female since he has ideals for his aesthetics which are looked upon as feminine. he never said he WAS a female. like??? are you okay???
I think trans people tend to attach themselves to stereotypical characteristics of the opposite gender they are given at birth bc it makes it easier for people see/accept them as that gender and overall a person. It would be silly to think labels don’t matter, but they shouldn’t always define us, and since they do they make the world go round. It is not necessarily a bad thing to put ourselves in boxes, it isn’t always intentional. What matters is we are comfortable, happy, and not hurting others ^__^
DailyVlogs RU-vid I wouldn’t really know how to answer that. Some people just feel like they are born the opposite gender aside from the one they were born with. that doesn’t mean they are spoiled. some people are just attracted to things that people with their own gender would find odd to be attracted by. Like a boy wanting to play with makeup or barbies. These stereotypes are what gives value to gender. Some people just don’t want to abide by that and that’s perfectly fine.
TheSly442 yes, I completely agree. My wording was kinda off but what I meant to say was that stereotypes are what is believed to give gender value like how males, are typically depicted to be more masculine and tend to lean towards more of those stereotypes. It is how our current society sees it. But In all honesty, I believe no matter what gender you were born with, you should be able to enjoy whatever you like no matter what labels are placed. Do whatever makes you happy
Agreed. He said that we shouldn’t be labeling things but I think a lot of what Nikki was saying was that, as a child, she saw those things (makeup, long hair, dresses) as “girl” things. So it made sense to her child brain that that’s how she related gender and who she was/is. Kids don’t have the knowledge yet to be able to convey it in a more nuanced way. So for her, those things are what made girls girls, and since she felt like a girl she related those two things. I want to be a girl, I feel like a girl, so I’m going to do what my understanding is of what makes girls girls.
6:06 its the same with genderfluid people, they LABEL things that are supposedly male and female when nothing is, People who REE about labels are the ones who label the most.
@@colorbar.s what im saying is nothing is gendered except having a penis and vagina, genderfluid people always complain "well i like dolls so i dont identify as a guy" or "well I dont like WOMEN things so I dont identify as a woman" but the things they are labeling "for men or women" arent for a certain gender, anyone can do whats not SEEN as sterotypical for them but that doesnt make those things for one gender or another, the only thing that makes those things gendered are people who assign them that.
Yeah, as a kid I always secretly liked girlie stuff too that I'd constantly have to hide from my parents, but I didn't think that made me a girl. I mean hell, most the girls I hung around were the type that played sports and video games and dressed "like boys" but that didn't make them boys in my mind. I just feel like you should do what you want and not allow that to restrict yourself to a certain identity.
phi latio16 right on. You’d think that progressives would push to help normalize non-strict gender roles and preferences but mostly we just get more this/that mentality from them (especially regarding males).
sharksandsheep you are the exact fucking problem, so his opinion is devalued cuz he’s white and a male? Isn’t that just labeling him? Just because he isn’t a transgender doesn’t mean he can’t have insight. And the points he made are 100% logically true. that’s why I have yet to see a decent rebuttal against his arguments.
@@amityislandchum If minority groups had your mentality back in the day, gay rights and black rights wouldn't be a thing. Edit: Forgot to add woman's rights.
I am completely fine with people being transgender. Though I am in the same boat as Wubby. I do not understand why people feel they are another gender. Is it because of engrained gender roles or is it something deeper. I personally am a male not because of my role in society but because of my biology. I have never been afraid of showing femininity. So if someone who has had these feeling could explain to me this idea in a deeper way I would be appreciative.
u can be confused but instead of staying in this lane of confusion and ending up saying something offensive. educate urself. theres many trans creators on different platforms that talk abt their experiences and educate cis ppl too.
Hey, trans guy here (I'm FTM, or 'female to male'. I was born female and transitioned to male). I can answer a few questions here and hopefully clear up any confusion. Feel free to ask away, just be civil and bear in mind that I might take a while to reply. So, usually transgender people have what's called 'gender dysphoria' or 'gender incongruence' (the first term is more commonly used nowadays, while the latter can be seen as outdated). It's a disconnect of sorts, between the biological sex of a person and their brain. GD causes someone to feel alienated and uncomfortable with their primary and secondary sex characteristics (genitals, breasts, facial hair, etc). In other words, they feel uncomfortable in their biological sex. This is different from feeling uncomfortable with their body: I've struggled with body image issues before, and it's a different feeling. If feeling uncomfortable with your body is 'I think this part of me is ugly and wish it didn't exist', gender dysphoria is 'this part of me isn't necessarily *ugly*, but it doesn't belong and I feel disconnected from it as I wish I had different sexual characteristics". It's also not the same as going against gender roles. You can be male and like pink and playing with dolls, you can be female and like cars and have short hair. That doesn't make a person transgender. Gender dysphoria is caused by a disconnect between the biological sex and the mind, not a disconnect between gender roles and the mind. Someone who is transgender and someone who goes against gender roles may share similarities, but they are not the same thing. Think of it as comparing someone who is nervous with someone has an anxiety disorder. They may share similarities, but one is a set condition with a specific frame of requirements and traits. You wouldn't give anxiety medication to everyone who was feeling nervous or afraid, you'd give it to people who meet the specific criteria for anxiety. In my country, transgender people must attend meetings with psychologists and have a diagnosis of GD to access medication. People who don't have it, but who just enjoy going against gender roles, would be ruled out. This basically screens patients to ensure they actually have GD before they transition.
To clarify, I also agree with Wubby. Not being attracted to transgender people isn't transphobic, everyone is entitled to their preferences. Just don't be an asshole about it.
When my mother was pregnant she was convinced that it was gonna be a boy but I was born a girl. And despite the fact that my family raised me strictly, as in the army, I was also attracted to military topics, children cars and weapons, not dolls and dresses, I'm still a girl for 25 years now (btw I'm very feminine) :D I mean, regardless of foreboding or upbringing, I was and remain a girl. But there they wanted a girl and indulged her gender uncertainty. So that's why the girl grew up in the body of a boy. [this is only in my subjective opinion ofc]
@@colorbar.s no, no they haven't. Women in general have more grey matter in their brain and on average, dudes who think they're women tend to have more grey matter (and vise versa) but this does not PROVE anything. It's nothing more than a mild correlation. There are women who's brains look more "like a mans" and men's brains that look more "like a womans" who are perfectly comfortable being the gender they are supposed to be and there are trans people who's brains resemble more of the average of their born gender. This proves that in fact that their brains *don't* determine their desire to be trans. Also I don't know of a single study done on newborns who eventually became trans. If you're extrapolating the results from trans people who've already been alive for years, then you're being incredibly silly to extrapolate those brain types back onto that person as a newborn. Peoples brains are constantly changing and they change a fuckton in the formative years. There's literally nothing reasonable about concluding that a persons brain has always been a certain way just because it is that way now. In fact, it could very well be that trans peoples brains grew or lost more grey matter as they spent time trying to be more like the other gender. It very well could be the result and not the cause
Trans dude here, came into this video a little nervous tbh but i agree with everything you said. It bothered me too when she started the vid saying that she hated labels, the went on to say she's a woman cause she fit all the female stereotypes as a kid. Not trying to say she's not a valid trans person or anything, trying to explain why you're trans is really fucking tough actually. I never know how to answer it, but for me its more like physically stuff feels wrong. Its like if someone asked me why I'm right handed I will say that the average trans person you meet IRL(in my experience) are not nearly as extreme as the outspoken trans people online.
Honestly your right handed thing is the only thing any trans person has ever been able to say that makes sense to me. The mental part I dont understand at all. But the physical part makes sense. Like whats the behavior? For right or left handed it would be instinctual use of it for one handed activities, but for being trans? Like what's the situation/action? Is it like confusing left and right in your mind?
When he said “I don’t know what it feels like to be a man” it really struck a chord with me. I honestly don’t know how that feels either. I can see why it’s so difficult for trans people to explain themselves in a way that makes sense.
@@frostfang1 Rather than mixing the two, its kinda like youre right hand dominant but you were only born with a left hand. Something feels off but its hard to place for a long time, cause you only have your left hand. Its like i have this map in my brain of what should be there, and when its not its this weird imcomplete broken feeling, and like a gross feeling almost like youve been violated when you see stuff thats there that shouldnt be. Like i said its really fucking hard to explain, and im not speaking for all trans people here. Lot of people feel different ways
@@azfortuna9398 That helps a lot. Thanks for sharing, it's a question I've wondered for a while too, it's hard to understand when there's no real point of reference but your analogy to right/left handedness makes a lot of sense.
As a Trans person myself, I literally disclose at the moment of interest from a guy. I used to not tell anyone when dating when I was 16-19 because I thought they'd like me for me and it shouldn't matter but the fact is that is definitely DOES matter and doesn't make anyone transphobic if they aren't interested in you. That being said, you can always be transphobic to me Wubby, I still stan you :^)
@@doomig "Ewww you're one of _those_ people" -every idiot, school bully, or someone who harasses others to feel special ever (Sorry for not clarifying what I was trying to say, I forgot I cannot use sarcasm in text with no speaking tone. Whoops)
@@johnsmith5028 oh no im not aggreeing with you lmao I am trans I just didn't clarify what I was trying to say very well. Thanks for using my pronouns though, I appreciate it :)
I payed with barbies when I was a kid, mostly with my aunts (4years older). I’d say I’m a pretty manly dude lmao and I never understood why it was considered girly. I usually made them fight witch my aunts hated. But still played with them and had a hell of a time Glad my family never saw that and told me I’m was a girl or something... some scary things out there
A relationship is built on the foundation of trust and being honest with your partner. The second you decide that hiding any information, regardless of YOUR feelings, in fear of whatever reason, you're setting the relationship up to fail. If you cannot bring yourself to tell your partner any pertinent information or bring up some concerns you have, and when something comes up in the relationship that involves said hidden information, it is on you for not disclosing it in the first place. Even Mia Khalifas last engagement ended because she didn't want her man knowing about her porn past.
that's how kids see gender: with gender stereotypical stuff. when a trans person get's older, they start to notice that they truly feel like another gender.
@@amandaleicht5508 But how do you feel like a certain gender? What is the criteria? I personally feel like there is just your biological gender and your personality which differs from person to person anyways. Why invent a construct around a already clearly defined term?
So I am a girl dress VERY masculine, I never have liked dolls or dresses and as a little kid I never played with other girls only boys. I am also attracted to girls. But the thing is I don’t have ANY gender dysphoria, I am comfortable in my body and I feel like its mine, a trans person wouldn’t feel that way towards their body due to the dysphoria they experience, THATS what makes someone trans not the stereotypes that surround them.
Lillian Frost , yeah I mean theres labels for everything in this world and you can be whoever you want to and be labeled however you wish as long as what you’re doing makes u happy. You shouldn’t feel the need to fit into societies construct if you don’t want to or feel pressured by the community that you’re currently in. Anyways I am definitely not the best person to get advice from ahaha but I reckon just do what makes you happy and don’t be held back by other people. Best wishes with everything tho :))
right honestly what if a black guy goes *in an indian accent* "hello and welcome to my convenience store" Like thats literally racist regardless whether or not you are black
Black people can’t be racist. They can be prejudice, but racist... Nope!!! Racism requires having the power to change the circumstances of the people you’re being racist towards. When have black people or any minority for that matter, have ever had the power, or social standing to oppress white society...? Hasn’t happened. Will most likely never happen. Find something else to do with your time, instead of grasping at straws so you can feel like you’re less of a bigot, because you’ve been “oppressed” too 🥺... Must be hard being white with no problems.
I think its just a simpler way to explain gender dysphoria. I doubt she was trying to push stereotypical ideals onto women, I think she was trying to explain she feels she is in the wrong body. Gender Dysphoria is very complicated and very hard to explain; so I'm sure she thought that it was just the easiest way to explain it.
To address the labeling consideration. There is a difference between a label and an identity. A label defines you without your permission (often inaccurately, that's the problem with them) whereas an identity, you chose and define for yourself. If this is what it means to a person to be a girl, that's entirely up to them, whereas if someone is telling them they have to do such in such in order to be a girl, that's obviously wrong because it's not up to that person. I do have to say that the idea of categorization is not inherently bad. It's popular to poopoo categories. "Why does anyone have to identify as gay or straight?" etc. Well it's simple, those categories convey information about the person that they want other people to know. The more widely understood the category, the more useful it is. And honestly, people who say that are generally neither gay or straight, and therefore are kind of saying "Why can't everyone identify the way I want to." In addition to the obvious "I don't want to be labeled queer etc... because I don't want people to know." Basically is the label being imposed or claimed, is what makes the difference here.
To the last point you made, I am a binary teenage trans woman and as a little kid I knew cis girls who were socialized to be feminine, and I equated myself to them. I guess thats the best way I can explain “feeling like a girl“, I saw myself as being a girl as a little kid but then people told me that I wasn’t, ever since then I still subconsciously knew I was the same. Then, when I hit puberty, I knew that it was the wrong one. I got evaluated and put on estrogen and that feeling subsided and I feel great after 2 years of transitioning.
Please read Sophia Alvarez' comment above yours. I used to think like you, but her comment really made me understand what the whole thing is about. Tl;dr : Associating with gender stereotypes is a necessary evil to alleviate body dismorphia for a lack of being able to magically change bodies. It's a very imperfect coping mechanism that does have the side-effect of reinforcing gender stereotypes. The key here is that it's a side effect rather than something that is actively sought.
Expression used to think like me? Okay wow first of all I do support trans, I just said that trans reinforces gender stereotypes and if absolutely does when it doesn’t need to, I also believe trans should be handled differently on account of it having a huge suicide rate, there’s obviously something that needs to be addressed. And no, it’s not because they’re treated badly
Does anyone remember that scene in Grandma's Boy? > "I think the music was a little too loud." *Are you afraid of it?* > "what... no, I... I just don't like techno." *You would if you had robot ears*
Thanks for bringing up this topic. I’ve got trans people in my life who I absolutely love & adore, but there are times where as an outsider you might be labelled something negative for having an opinion like this (thankfully my trans friends are generally open and chill with conversation). But as a cis female, (throwing out a label for myself) 100%, you have to tell someone BEFORE dating. Even if the person you’re dating is pansexual. Humans like to plan ahead and can’t imagine a few years into a relationship and a man only finding out that he can’t have a biological child with his partner. Can we just imagine for a second the emotional struggle the other partner would be going through, thinking that they could possibly be infertile? Mental health is important for both partners.
That's not really trans people's fault though. The reality is that a large portion of modern society doesn't see trans people as valid and as a result trans people need to participate in these stereotypical roles to convince the wider public/blend in so they don't get ostracized.
When my son was 5 years old, he kept saying his favorite color was pink. I NEVER told him its wrong or got on him. I got him certain things like rubber ball, etc that were pink cuz he picked those out. My sister i lived with would make faces at me n say "uhh why arent u explaining thats a girl color?" I said "bc its not a girls color its just a certain color n he likes it the most who cares" She never intervened again. My son is now 11 YO and he likes red instead of pink and plays video games on Xbox. I really dont get why people make it a big deal when ur boy likes dolls or pink, yet a girl is allowed to like action figures toys and blue. Wtf the difference? And i honestly wouldnt care if my son came out as gay if he did....i would support my son no matter what!
When i was young i begged my parents to get me a Pound Puppies play set for my birthday. It was known as a girls toy but i wanted it so my parents got it for me. I played with it for a long time. Never thought i was a girl or even had the idea to become one. A year later i went back to my Rescue Heroes and GI Joes, but shit doggos man, didnt care the van was pink and girly, i wanted the doggos. There has to be someone in their ear telling these kids to make the switch. Like she talked about with what her mom said. A kid will be a kid unless the parents introduce them to these adult topics. and i think that is a very large problem in todays society, young parents treating their kids as an equal/friend rather than a child.
I think those are great and valuable questions. From what I’ve understood about the trans community, it’s not just a surface level interest of wanting to play with gender stereotypical items (dolls, nail polish, etc.) Children who could grow up to become transgender do so because they want to physically identify themselves as the opposite gender, which they feel can only be done so by participating in these gender stereotypes. Children can also feel body dysphoria where they actively reject their genitalia by tucking or bindings and other gender identifying body parts (like hairstyles). Young children don’t know the language of how to express what they’re feeling, but they know that they feel out of place or like they’re in the wrong body. And an easy way for children to display their preferred gender is by doing easy things like nail polish and playing with their hairstyles, instead of being able to change their bodies physically with surgery like they might when they grow up.
Yeah, Nikki just used the dolls and all that because that is what society can most easily identify with. It's hard to describe what it means to be male and female for ANYONE, especially trans people. The words just do not exist in any language that I know, so going to the stereotypically gendered items like GI Joe's or Barbies keeps the discussion simple.
I definitely agree with you. I was asked once to explain what masculinity feels like, and I couldn't put words to it. I could only describe things that masculine people stereotypically do. It makes sense why young children would do so as well.
Sebastian, you couldn’t describe it because masculinity doesn’t exist. Neither does femininity. Let’s stop pigeon holing personality traits into gender stereotypes.
Completely agree with the idea of telling your partner as soon as it's possible (and safe, I'd add, with such a high rate of violence against trans women) but to your second point: the idea of a contradiction between gender stereotypes and dysphoria is something people talk about a lot. It's complicated, but the general idea is that if you associate psychologically and most often neurologically with femininity, you're going to gravitate towards things you've been taught are feminine. A 5 year year old playing with dolls and wanting to wear dresses isn't proof that kid is trans, so much as it is a possible expression of gender dysphoria. They might identify with the girls they see at school or on TV wearing dresses and playing with dolls, and then gravitate towards those things. It's the same concept as cis girls identifying with the girls they see in ads playing with barbies, and then wanting to play with a barbie. If you surrounded a kid with imagery of the people they identify with (in gender, race, personality etc.) liking anything, they're probably going to start liking the thing.
nikki's video started out with her rejecting labels but then later ended with her saying she always felt like a girl and then bringing up a bunch of female stereotypes. she made the first "rejecting labels" statement because she was defending her reason behind not saying she's trans. then she made the "playing with dolls and nail polish" statement because she was explaining why she's a transwoman. i get that this is a complete contradiction, but she used these stereotypes because just saying that you "feel like a girl" is vague and not a really good argument. so she had to bring up these deadbeat stereotypes just to prove that she's a woman on the inside. which sucks. because she shouldn't have to persuade anyone, really. i think we can all agree that labelling like this is toxic and doesn't really serve anyone
5:20 its the same like non-binary tumblr people screaming how clothes and makeup and stuff doesnt have a gender category and then they post selfies wearing a cap, jeans and a tshirt ”felt masculine today” and the next day its a dress and makeup ”felt fem today✨”.
"As a man, I don't know what it FEELS like to be a man" THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE THANK YOU FOR BEING INTELLIGENT WUBBY.
I guess if you REALLY want to be a person of different gender, it makes perfect sense to imagine each gender feels different inside. It's either that or thinking you have a disorder :\
I've been thinking about this and my best answer would probably be that I don't have or feel any doubt about the "label" that I've chosen to accept for myself. Because I've never doubted that, I can't explain what it feels like to doubt something so seemingly intrinsic about myself. It's not necessarily "feeling like a man". Rather it's not feeling any doubt about accepting the label of "man". The same would go for women about not feeling doubt about accepting the label of woman. A trans person would feel doubt about the label assumed to them, which is something completely foreign and difficult to understand for anyone not trans.
If you are confused about what gender identity is and what if feels like to have one, an easy way to look at it is to think whether it feels right or wrong to you if someone calls you 'a man'. If it doesn't feel right to you then you probably don't identify as a man, if someone calls you 'a woman' and it doesn't feel right to you then you probably don't identify as a woman. It is not as complicated as some people make it out to be, and one good way to look at it is to just compare it to other kinds of identity like national identity for example.
You're not wrong my developmental psychology professor said the exact same thing about having a transgender friend (male to female) who confided in her that "I've felt like woman my entire life" but my professor (sorry if my english is shit i just have shit grammar I'm not even retarded) said that she (as a biological woman) doesnt know what it means/feels to be a woman. It's perfectly okay to not conform to gender stereotypes/labels or be trans but just gonna be real youre just confirming to traditional opposite gender stereotypes and are making assumptions of what another gender is based on what you've been conditioned to believe.
@@Naskinlahtaaja It doesn't really matter what a person identifies as though, because their identity is only true in their own mind. It's an EXCLUSIVELY internal experience that can't be translated into words or transferred to another person... so calling yourself "X" or "Y" is a pointless exercise as far as anyone but you is concerned. Gender identity involves labels like Wubby said, which don't have any concrete guidelines as opposed to identifying someone's sex. Rather, YOU set the parameters on an individual basis and then categorize yourself accordingly. This leads to chaos because everyone has their own wildly different parameters.
New fav RU-vidr..dude genuinely makes me lol, even when im alone, which is rare. Its soooo funny when he yells bc hes confused or people aren't making sense...btw WE NEED MORE NUKA ZEUS VIDEOS ASAP
