Mom Is Stealing My Student Loan Money! 

This same thing actually happened to me with one of my family members. They took out $12,000 in student loans in my name as a cosigner. When I found out about it I reported it as fraud and got my name off the loans. It didnt cost me a thing either. Thanksgiving dinners were very awkward for a while...

When I was 17 my mom stole my college savings that my Dad has established, while she was divorcing him. Financial child abuse happens all the time. She's Bipolar, but that's not an excuse and it's forever changed the scope of my relationship with her. That was 22 years ago and I have 0...none....nada...no trust in her to this day.

"She gets emotional" that's manipulation 101.

I'm a mother. This is not normal. Cut her off and if she says anything to you - don't let her off the hook, call her out and allow her to feel the shame. Otherwise, this won't stop.

Never thought I should be grateful for honest parents. 💔❤ can't imagine going through something like this.

This is so sad. My mother is the same way, when my bank account was linked to hers she would just go in and steal money. And LIE to me about it. I closed that account and setting boundaries. I'm a mother and would never do this to my child.

Mom is a bad human being. Get as far away as possible and tell people you are an orphan.

I know all about this scenario! Student loans are only for educational purposes & living expenses while a student is enrolled in college, not for one's parents to go off to Europe with!!!

Wow my mom did that to ...some parents dont wanna see there kids do good in life and get what they want

If you can prove the fact that the student money was not used for your benefit,you can sue her and get a judgement. Whether she will ever pay or not is another question but she will have that judgement hanging over her for life. Love is love and money is money. Karma is a b*tch and she will need you one day.

Something similar happened to me when I was 19 years old. It took me 10 years to get out of debt. I still support her financially to this day. Not that she deserves it, but because I deserve peace.

my parents borrowed a lot of money from me 6 years ago and when it came time for them to pay me back all i got was excuses and more promises that they later broke also. they still owe me to this day

My mum put $80,000 in a bank account in my name for six months (don’t ask me why) and I could tell she was very nervous about doing so. And she got it all back! This is how families are supposed to behave.

My mom did this to me too. She was a cosigner though. She took probably 2k or something. I forget. I bought a safe and started putting everything in my safe. She's had credit card problems for years and I believe she told me my dad wouldn't cosign (I think she lied). She stole a check i think if I remember. Which was money I used while at college and I would put any leftover money in savings.

I don't get it. As a mum I give rather than take from my daughter. I paid in cash for her first year and supported her during the remainder of her college years when her loans were insufficient to cover her expenses. It is bizarre for a parent to steal from their kids.

😢 I called my mom after this to tell her how much I appreciate her. Breaks my heart.

This is just sad. A no win situation. But he must shut it down. He cannot enable a thief.

If you are reading this man...I feel your pain. Just pay it back, move on w/ life. Mom feels guilty, don’t burn a bridge! GET YOUR OWN BANK ACCOUNT YESTERDAY! Good luck sir!

This is insane I paid to go to school myself and I had to pay for my own schooling so my mom never did that. I will tell her to pay me back seriously. I can’t have no body control of my money

In my 20s I pulled my report and found out that my mother had a card opened in my name for $1380 and never paid it. I would’ve been in eighth grade.

My Mom handled my finances when I was away at school, and I lived at home during the summer and some weekends. She never took one penny without me knowing about it or if I asked. I will never understand stealing from your kids. This guy's mom is scum!!

My mother took 900 dollars from my bank account, sold my car and kept the money, stole my 800 dollar tv

I can't comprehend taking money from my child. What a very sad situation this is. I hope they can both sort this out and move forward. It sounds like she needs help and he seems like a level headed young man. Good luck to them both.

Never allow anyone access to your money, ever. full stop. period.

Why are these mother's so vicious to their sons

Wish I had known about Dave Ramsey, while in college. 42k to pay off.

That’s super unfortunate, kind of ruining the kids future. I hope this kid is working and supporting himself and I hope everything works out. He might need to work more hours to help pay bills at home which is understandable but if she’s spending it on materialistic things then that’s not cool. I wish Dave went into the mother’s financial needs and how the kid can help.

How do u find out if they’re stealing student loan money

Wow, if that happened to me then I'd be deeply disappointed. Then I'd tell her that my house needs cleaning every week from top to bottom, there are alot of errands to run, and I want my breakfast, lunch and dinner ready on time... when would she like to start, at 5:30 or 8:00 am.

Wow, not only not helping him out to pay for college, but stealing from him instead. Horrible mom.

I have heard it all

Parents putting their kids in the red. SMH.

Boomer here. I was upset with my parents when they decided not to send me to college, but at least they didn't steal from me! Reading these posts makes me sad for the kids and angry at the deadbeat parents. My wife and I sent our two sons to private universities and we paid almost all the cost.

I think his mother has a deep seated emotional problem which is prompting her to steal from his student loan account, take her off the account and have a serious talk to her, she probably needs psychological help but criminally prosecuting her isn't the answer.

Take over your own finances and make her pay you back.

My mom racked up my cc while I was in college I kept it just for emergencies I had one and went to use the card and found out it was maxed out thank god it had a low limit

It was dumb on his part to share accounts with Mom.

My parents twisted like that and open credit cards in my name back in day

sorry bro this happens alot

Sounds like Mom needs to get a second job. I can’t imagine taking money from my children. I support them, not the other way around.

This exact thing happened to my Dad when he was a teenager. He worked his tail off from childhood on and saved thousands in a shoe box, which he entrusted to his mom. Little did he know, his father, a gambling addict, was taking the money to the horse tracks (where he lost it). When he asked for his money at college time, the $$$ was all gone. He's now in his 80's and still hurt by this. He ended up joining the Navy then going to college on the GI bill debt free in the 50's and 60's.

Doesn't student loan money go directly to the schools and the student never sees it?

I saw a sign in a restaurant (sort a quaint country restaurant with humorous signs on the walls). The sign said, “Be nice to your children, they choose your nursing home.”

So sad. Sadder yet he seems to kind of play it down, "She's been great in other ways." Yeah, well, stealing from your child's student loans kind of negates the other 'good', as far as I'm concerned. A thief is a thief, and there's not much lower than stealing from family, especially your own child.

I hope he checks his credit reports.

So her theft has essentially doubled his student loan debt. Dave is only so calm because its a small number. She robbed 12/25k of the debt. If one of the medical students called in saying I have £200k of debt and its due to my parents fraudulently borrowing 100k he would be saying report it.

This is exactly what happened to an old friend. His mother took about $20 grand in his student loans and used them to pay off her property taxes from the last decade, and one or two of her credit cards. Don't trust anyone with your money!

The mom justifies it in her own head by saying “I’ve given my whole life for this child and I really do need money and that money is just sitting there. And besides, I’ll pay it back “

"People who aren't crazy don't steal from their own kids" .... more true words were never spoken.

Poor guy. I would starve before I would steal from my son. Cant even fathom this.

Very glad I discovered this channel Dave.

This isn't about money. She is upset and having a hard time as an emotional manipulation technique. I've experienced many things just like this. He should do what he has to do to cut ties with her. He should tell the truth to any younger siblings and walk away from his mother for good.

He needs to discuss with her how she plans on paying it back. So sad.

This happens way more often than people speak up. It's one of the hardest positions people can be put in. You basically have to choose between being called things like "ungrateful", or letting your mother devastate your life.

He should pull his credit report and sign up for Lifelock or something. Such a sad situation.

I had an ex boyfriend who’s mom took his FASFA money to renovate their kitchen. I ran from that relationship

A friend had her identity stolen by a family member who took out a loan. She cleared it up but didn't prosecute because "she was caught and learned her lesson". The family member then went on to take out loans in a coworker's name. She got caught and it was the bank she did business with who prosecuted and she spent several years in jail while her kids were little. When you prosecute, you're saving them from a worse fate.

Having a toxic parent is really messed up. 😩confront her. She won’t pay you back. Cut her off financially. Do not give that woman a dime ever again. Monitor your credit. Keep her at ARMS LENGTH! Let her know if she wants to stay in your life you will have boundaries and need to protect yourself. Look out for #1.

Whenever my student loans would come in my mom would start asking me for money. I would have to lie about how much I had.

Parents like this tell themselves that they made the child therefore the kids owe them this.

I've been a victim of financial child abuse. This is why I don't judge others when hearing parent child stories because it is possible the PARENT is the messed up irresponsible one.

The caller doesn't seem to be upset so I'm guessing this is just the way things are in the family. I have that in my family.

This one just fires me up

What a nightmare. I wish you the best man. I can't imagine not being able to rely on family.

sadly there are people out there who thinks that because they brought you into this world, that they own you.

EXACTLY what happened to me. My parents said “Eric do good in school and dad and I will take of everything.” For 6 years she was maxing out my student loans. Grand total of amount stolen $169,000 as of today. I refused to pay. So I moved to Asia to teach English. The cost of living is so low and I make good money I live fine. But my salary in Asia is considered low in America. So I owe $0 every month. Just food for thought from those that this has happened too.

There is no relationship until she stops stealing and seeks forgiveness.

"and not ruin the relationship with my mother".... bro, she already ruined... she did it to herself, I'd stop talking to her forever. I can cut people off so fast, its kinda scary.

Sound like mommy boy tell her pay it back or you’ll sue her I sued my own mom for stealing my inheritance that my grandma left me

Happened to me too. Word of advice. Never let parents manage your money.

So happy I was the only one who could access my money and bank papers from the age of 14. It was my money and my responsibility as my dad said at the time to this date.

My parents tried to steal from me for the first time when I was about 8 years old... Didn't get better over time. I have been no contact for a long time now, it feels sooo much better. They were toxic in many other aspects too. Some people simply don't deserve to call themselves parents.

This is very heartbreaking! Basically he needs to transfer all the money in HIS name and cut all joint account he has with her OUT. I also knew a Mom and Dad who did drugs and were slobs and not good people and had 3 kids and opened bank accounts and credit cards in their children names who were UNDER 10 years old. I feel bad for the kids because when they get older they will have bad credit and be largely in debt because of there parents! I think thats awful to destroy credit and steal from your own children!!

This makes me so grateful for my trustworthy and generous parents. Extremely sad that there's "parents" like this.

when I was a kid my mother badgered me never to spend Christmas and Birthday money I got from my grandparents, and to save it in the bank. By the time I turned 13 , all those $5 and $10 checks I saved my entire little life was then over $200. She then stole my money... and the "offered me $200 " to run away from home , as I was cramping style re: her dating/ many marriages lifestyle . I didn't run away, so she kicked me out. Never saw that $200. I feel bad for this kid, but the money debt from theft is the least of what you need to get out of your life. I pray he is doing well

Wow, what a dead beat mom. I feel so bad for him, sounds like he loves mom and is more concerned about how it will affect her than himself and I think that makes him a kind soul. I cannot wrap my mind around parents that do this sort of thing. I would have sacrificed so much to protect my kids from this sort of thing. Mom or Dad should be the last person you have to worry about and the first person to have your back.

Hey grandma why the cable company say I owe them 500?

I got a school refund check back in 2006 for 1500 and my mom took ALL of it.

It happened to me for about 8k. I understand his pain.

I’m a single father of two daughters and no child support, both of my girls are in college and I couldn’t imagine trying to put them into debt. How do u start ur child’s life off in the hole? Horrible parenting.

I have an emotional con artist for a mother too. Havent talked to her in 7 years. She is a toxic person. Run man

My own mother did something similar. She did this with credit at Sears to get a new washer. She swore that she and my brother would pay the bills but never did. I refuse to help her financially any more because she's never paid anything and it's been years.

Happens more often than u think smdh

I’m wondering what he is majoring in if he didn’t notice 12k missing out of his loans I would have caught on after the first 100 dollars

My son spent all 4 years of college at home. I paid al his expenses and books and a new computer. 1 time I asked him for $300 for rent out of his left over grant money (not loan money) because I was tight- I felt awful and never asked for anything ever again.

Children Going Their Own Way

I had a Mom like that. I joined the Army and while in basic/AIT, she took out a store credit card in my name. Her and I have the same name, same address so the store didn’t look at her social or birthday. She racked up $1,000 in 6 months. Once I got to my first duty station, I changed my addresses on all my card and stirs I had a card at(3 in total) that’s when the bills came to me and I saw what she had been doing. I called her and confronted her. She said she thought I wouldn’t mind. I said I did and demanded her to send me the card. She goes - what! You don’t trust me? I said - look what you did. If I had done that to you what would you do? She refused to send me the card so I hung up and canceled the card. She was not going to pay the card off, she had No intention to. I was making Money and she wasn’t. To save what I could of the relationship I paid the bill off and never mentioned it again. I also told the store that I was canceling my account all together and if one was created I wasn’t going to pay cause it wouldn’t be me. The other two cards (1 bank/debit card and the other another store credit card) I called them up and told them that I was now at this location. If anyone buys anything at this location then they were to call the cops for thrift cause I no longer lived in that state. This was before online shopping before 2000. The stores took it very seriously and I never got a bill that I did not buy the item. Mom did try but the store shut her down. I don’t blame her, she was on SSI, too sick to work and 2 brothers bleeding her dry cause they thought they were going tot be the first ones where women supported the men. She died about 2 years later. The brothers were kicked to the curb. They both blame me for their predicament. Never mind they have college educations, I don’t, they refuse to work in their degree. Yes, they are still single. They say it’s by choice.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is what happens when you don’t have a financial plan after child support stops

Dave: How's it going? caller: Great! now, thanks for taking my call, let me tell you how very great I am doing...

First question I would have asked (didn't seem like Dave did unless I just didn't hear it), is: was it a PLUS loan or private loan? If it was a PLUS loan, he isn't obligated to pay it. If it's a private loan, whose name is it in? If it's in his, then he has to pay, if it's in hers, he doesn't. Two very important questions. Regardless, the parent is a POS.

Dave Ramsey really needs to start a Dr. Phil-like interview show where people share drama about family money issues.

Guys, family isn't everything 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

My mom borrowed money from me while I was in community college nursing degree program. I was so broke and she never paid me back. I got my electricity and water cut off

Unfortunately, even if you press charges, law enforcement may not prosecute. That is what happened to us, the cops felt they have more important crimes to deal with than identity theft.

I've had my KIDS and my SIL steal my and my husband's identity. This is not a pretty situation.

My brother had to press charges on my dad for taking out a large student loan in his name. Idk how he was able to do it when my Brother was very young. My brother found out at age 19 smh

His mother’s tears may be so that she can continue. Ramsey is right that parents who do this are crazy because such parents are often appropriately abandoned when they age.

Just seeing this video now... my mother did the same thing to me my senior year of college, almost 10 years ago. She has been asking for money since and is about to lose her home. It doesn’t stop!

Similar thing happened to me... mom borrowed $2000 cash for her business. Money that was suppose to be towards me moving out... now I want to move out soon and have way less money to do it with Edit: I want to move out in the next 6 months. I want to set a boundary with her that I need my money back in full in 6 months (it’s already been about 9? Months), but anytime I bring it up it blows up into a huge family argument about how “we can’t pay you back we’re to poor” what should I do?? And by borrowed, I mean she took it totally without my permission.

Have you taken her off your accounts ? “Uhh not yet” this guy is the biggest dope.