Mom, Your Drinking Is The Problem | KARAMO 

We slid past something too easily. She said that her mom wants her to stay in a “daughters place,” but her mother puts her in the position where she isn’t, and then holds it against her. Too many mothers, grandmothers do this exact thing as if someone other than them raised their children and put them in those situations.

I felt that daughters pain. Paying bills for your parent at a young age. Not being able to be a teenager.

You’re not done being a mom until you leave this earth. Alcoholism in black women has gone unaddressed for far too long. This needed to be addressed.

7:48 see how the mum flip flops between telling her daughter 'i am your mum, we are not equals' then its 'BBbbUT IF i nEeD heLp' but this poor daughter was helping the mum PAY HER BILLS by working

That generation of older women ruined a lot of their children lives. So sad that they can not see the harm that they have caused. This is why a lot of children do not talk to their parents.

She's talking about her daughter need to help with the bills, what about that man she has there? Obviously, he's not elevating anything.

To black women: it’s ok to not be ok and ask for help. DO NOT fall into the trap of the “strong black woman”

A alcoholic doesn't realize that they're a alcoholic especially if they think they don't need help. As long as she is in denial she won't get help not matter what people say.

The mother is going through a mental depression . She thinks the drinking will numb the pain. She waited to be 50 years old to drink. The mother could also be going through menopause (depression, anxiety and mood swings)

That outfit the daughter is wearing is sooooo cute

I live in the UK. My mother is a highly functioning alcoholic and has been for the last 9 years. My mum has been jealous of me for becoming a nurse, for getting into a caring and long term relationship and so many other things. I cared for her before I moved out 4 years ago. I'm 28 now. I went through my 3 year nursing degree trying to pay her rent, give her money for 'food' but it was for drink, we argued, she fought me. I moved out and things got worse. She came to my house and beat me and my partner up or tried to atleast. She tried to smash my window in to get to me when she was drunk. She causes arguments. She sleeps with men she doesn't know, she drove drunk. She continues to say she doesn't drink. She drinks 2L vodka every day neat. I had to be HER mother for years. I didn't go put with friends or even have money to etc. I can't and couldn't do it anymore - she says I should respect her because SHES the mother and she's older than me and I should respect her yet she completely treats me as though I'm a piece of dirt on her shoe. I sat in a&e with her for 12 hours for her to sober up after she told me she was going to OD and continued to tell mental health teams she was OK. She manipulates and gaslight me. I feel this daughter's pain so so so much. I get it completely. You are validated. Your mum has an issue but you can't make someone stop drinking if they don't want to, as much as you'd like to.

My older brother was murdered when I was 21, and my mom has not been the same in 16 years. Alcoholism and depression have taken a toll over her life. I'm just now realizing at age 37 that I never had a fair chance to be happy because I carried the weight of her hurt. Still to this day, I go thru so much. I lost my mom the day my brother was murdered and I just wish I could have her back. I just wish she realized she has 2 children left. When I say God is real, trust me, HE is. GOD is turning me into the person I've always wanted to be. I'm sorry for rambling on, but I understand the daughter pain. My mom is my only parent also. My father has been on drugs my entire life. God bless everyone who is going thru something similar on this post. I felt it in my spirit to write this, so I did. Peace and blessings

Super Woman is a MYTH! Children require parents (both) who are present and supportive. I’m so happy adult children are starting to share their stories. A lot of these parents have failed…”I did the best I could with what I knew how” doesn’t cut it. IT WASN’T ENOUGH!

That "strong Black woman" label is strangling so many Black daughters smh

How do you sit down and start with I don’t have a problem, I drink because of the pain? 🙄 Lady that’s clearly a problem.

haven’t watched yet but my mother used to be an alcoholic and i’m telling you, until she got help she was literally straining our relationship. she went to rehab bc i woke up one morning before goin to school i told her how annoying it was to leave home from one person and to come home to another, and she went and got help that morning. she’s going to make a year clean next month❤️

As a healthcare provider, whenever I have patients with alcoholism I screen them for depression and when they have depression, I screen them for alcohol abuse. More often than not, one is precipitated by the other and once the root cause is identified, there is a higher chance for successful treatment

I’m sipping Taylor Port feeling exposed while behind the screen👀

motherhood is a lifelong commitment. You’re not even finished when your kids are grown! I’m 24 and im so happy that I can still call my mother when I need to vent or when I need help.

So hard for the daughter. I hope the mom gets help but that’s a hard poison to drop. Pray she doesn’t have to hit rock bottom (or worse) before she turns it around for good.

This hit home for me 💔🥺 it’s hard being a mom to your mom. Til this day !

the pressure this poor daughter has

Hurt little girl raise hurt daughters

I want to grab and hold this young lady with ALL my momma strength 🥺 My momma duties don't end cause mines is grown...I'm always here, they just need me on another level

Oh how I can relate to her. My mother is a functional alcoholic. I had to leave my mother alone because she would take her frustrations out on me and my children. When I put my foot down that is when I was told Im rude, selfish, disrespectful, and ungrateful. My mother will never apologize for it either. I have reached a stage in my life where I don't want her apology. I just want nothing to do with her. She triggers me to anger and frustration. It's toxic and it's what I don't need in my life nor my children's lives.

I love how Keramo handled this empathy and humor! At the same time, I’m mad at her mother’s sense of entitlement to think that her daughter will pay for stuff. I’m glad that Keramo so forcefully denounced that strong Black woman trope.

Women need to stop doing this having a bunch of kids and later realizing that you can't take care of them. Then requiring your children to financially and emotionally support you. They are kids and they should not have to step into an adult role. Your support should be coming from the father(s) of your children.

This is everything! Breaking generational curses & healing people... Karamo you're Pure Love at its finest 🤍✊🏾

I hope she stops for her own safety 💕

Beautiful caring devoted daughter. xxx Amazing beautiful and wonderful Mama. xxx Karamo is beautiful and great for providing the support and platform for understanding & peace to be the way forward for these two loving women. Smiling widely from the UK. x

as a black woman being 21 years old and living with 62 year old parents, this brought me to tears.

Said "I been here longer than you" as the reason for why she feels the daughter doesn't know what she's talking about #ProblemNumber1

The mother is in denial of her problem, she is trying to minimized the issue, she stated she didn't start drinking until 50 years od age, which is irrelevant the point is she's in the predicent, she has to acknowledge it and want to get help.

Why is every episode starting mid conversation 🥲

Your a functional DRUNK! I felt those words smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

Anyone who says “she thinks that I have a problem” when referring to drinking most definitely has a problem Despite what has gone on in their life and caused this problem. She’s going to have to work at bettering herself and in turn be better for her daughter too

MOVE means - proceed, advance, shift, and go! So MOVE! Move into prayer, move into praise, move into the Word, Move out of distractions, move into position, and move out of offense! Don’t just stand there MOVE! So you can MOVE the enemy out of the way!!!! ~Vanisia Tapia

Yeah the familys problems do pass on easily until someone breaks the cycle black or white.

This right here is the reason why so many people are estranged from their parents

DISPELLING THE MYTH OF A STRONG BLACK WOMAN!!!!! YAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Alcohol does not ease pain because after you are sober .. your problems are still hanging around ...

I hope that her n mom will be able to fix there bond n grow n heal as individuals but also as a team, you only have one mom no matter what’s the situation a child/grown up need there parents by there side knowing life is hard. But all we can do is send prayers to those who just need help n guidance to push forward in life.

it’s extremely hard to watch situations like these, because they hit too close to home… hopefully someday her mom fixes her drinking, and so does mine.

Not even 1min into the video and I’m already relating to it like that’s crazy

She is going through exactly what I went through and it hurts and u do become ur parents care taker and when u speak up for urself the broken parents will say stay in a child's place..But u put me in this situation period!!!

OMG I love this … let’s get rid of that string black Woman mindset .. we all need help and we are allowed to be vulnerable

It’s hard for her to take accountability and she’s finally taking accountability! Now it’s time for her to take care of herself and stop drinking .

Mom might really benefit from therapy.

No cap the daughter is super gorgeous

That was powerful

A lot falls on. Single moms. It has to take a toll on their mental health. Unfortunately when the fathers are absent the children look to their mothers for everything. The pressure can take a toll.

People drink and do drugs needs to stop these things

I was raised by grandparents, my grandfather was a pure alcoholic. I can tell you when was the last time I had a drink. I don't care for it, I saw his downfall.

Honey…. It’s the families with culture. My mother is European. As a matter of fact we need to find our way on this show because honestly this man may actually help. 😂😢

Mom: I don't have a problem Also mom: I drink to ease the pain ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Uncle Ramo is the best!

This was heartbreaking to watch her mom not being compassionate and understanding towards her daughter.

Oh yeah that Taylor is some drunk juice frfr

This reminds me so much of my mom is disgusting

Me and my mother have the best relationship…. Yet this has me crying 😢

No one has been their for that mom her whole life now she's 50 and drinking and NOW SHE HAS THE PROBLEM. leave this woman alone and let her have a drink.

This is the face of being a strong independent woman and not dealing with your trauma.

I'm in the mom shoes as far as drinking go and passing the threshold of not remembering things the next day but most people think I remember when I truly don't have a clue

This brought me to tears

Black mothers mostly are jealous of their daughters especially when the daughter is doing better. I’ve experienced too

Can someone tell me where I can get that bomb baby blue set??

Says she doesn’t have a problem then literally admits to having a problem right after it. Black people need emotional awareness classes

Microdosing alcohol for pain works... It's when you can't control the alcohol consumption its a problem...saved my life

The mom is not ready and she can’t make her. Daughter should go to Alanon and figure out how to gain some acceptance and love her mother with what we ever emotional capacity SHE chooses.

Angelaaaa😂

Chile, I put good money on time the mom got home she got drunker than Cooter Brown. The daughter is unfortunately going to need to cut her mom off for her own mental health and wellbeing. If her mom is so concerned about her household and bills, she will pay them herself. Also, what is up with her male drinking buddy that she made sure was not mentioned on the show? Those two drunks need to put their heads together and see if they can figure out how the bills will get paid. Isn't he supposed to be her helpmate??? Her daughter is just that her daughter; she did not sign up to be her substitute mom. I bet that house is a toxic mess and her mom is giving me narcissistic vibes. The mom said out of her own mouth I do not worry about you; you a strong Black woman you will be all right. She has more care and concern for her drinking buddy than her own child. SMH 🥲🥲🥲

🙏 for mom strength

I feel like this episode was so incomplete, it was handled too lightly, yes you have to survive but karamo did you hear she said she has been paying bills since early teens, her mom can be using that same money she uses on the bottle on her damm light bill. Let the girl save her money to get a car and move out if she would like.

My mother was an alcoholic but she quit drinking in 2013 growing up my mother used to drink all the time especially when she was working at the bar but she quit drinking in 2013 she has a drink every now and then but she's not as bad as she used to be like she's not the drunk that she used to be

Wow, I see this in one of my family members. She drunk dials, and has begun to have health problems from the drinking. 30 years of heavy drinking starts talking to you when you hit 60! I feel for her sons because she does things and is always right. She got divorced 25+ years ago, and ran through both my parents guilting them to pay for stuff, and not they are both gone.I don't have all day to tell it all. But I check in with my kids to make sure we are on an even keel. I drink, but I thank the Lord that I take it or leave it. If I buy a six pack it usually lasts a week, because its not at the top of my mind. Now chocolate and cheesecake are my weaknesses.But even with those I can't eat them all the time. As a mother we have to own up to our stuff. Even till the end I don't interfere in their lives, and I don't want them to feel burdened with me due to my shortfalls.

With that being said everyone has a choice to choose a healthy life style not only for themselves but their family and loved ones

I relate to this so much like I was in the exact situation w/ my egg donor she does the same thing she’s a alcoholic and a drug addict and at a young age she gave up on being a parent and told me I was to raise the kids but got mad when we didn’t look at her as a mother like you can’t even make us dinner but you want to show us off on fb and got mad when the kids stop calling her mom because she was never around it was always me and I hated it because all my friends got to go on field trip & go to summer camp but I had to stay home because if I left who would take care of them…. And that alone kinda stopped me from running away that and the fact that no one’s gonna take in 3 kids and a baby and it didn’t help that she would get violently drunk and attack us one night I caught her hitting the baby so I came and snatched her away and ran then she grabbed a machete and chased us out the house I ran to the neighbors house and he let us in but what pissed me off was that he tried to blame me for everything saying I was a trouble maker and that my egg donor was a good woman she’s just having a hard time atp I left went back to the house to see if she was there and she wasn’t so I got my kids and went to my friends house up the block and told her everything and she let us stay til her mom came then we went to my grandparents but that wasn’t any better because she called her saying come get these damn kids EVEN AFTER I TOLD HER WHAT HAPPENED so I just gave up and decided that I will be the one to protect them because no one else will and and I did just that…. I’m glad they don’t remember this part of life as much but I can tell they remember some of it because they get so protective over me when we’re around her but I just pray that things get better for me and everyone around me……🍀

This mom needs help! Your daughter is not responsible for anything you have going on. I hate when women say what they had to do. You chose to have children and thats beautiful, but you cant tell someone they are indebted to you forever. That women needs to go on her way and create a life that she wants!

I hate women that use being a single mom has an excuse for their bad behaviors.

Man.. I rather be homeless with a parent that shows all the care in the world towards me than a parent that is always busy at work, shows nothing to their child after work. Parents, spend time with the child YOU brought to the world.. they don’t owe you nothing, but you owe them the world.

she needs to own to it SHES AN ALCOHOLIC hell im an alcoholic most times but end of the day the daughter needs to love from a distance and do her OWN THING cause she wont be in a safe space like dat im learning to control who i be around dats not a safe space for me

I think that Carmela He hugs certain people like he heard the first person to come on stage and when they spouse or they friends or cousins come on the stage he don’t shake their heads or give them a hug he’ll just tell them to have a seat I really don’t think that’s fair I think he’s a shake everybody’s here I’ll give everybody a hug

her mom needs her own healing before she can even try to give it to someone else

If she doesn't stop soon she will have another medical issue on her hands. Ironically, she's drinking to help with pain from surgeries, while her kidneys and liver are taking a beating.

I'm confused. Does the daughter want to live in her moms house without paying bills?? I'm sorry but I don't feel like this episode cleared up or healed any of their true pain. They'll be arguing in the car on the way home I'm sure.Repeating some words Karamo said ain't gone magically fix her drinking problems or the daughter's issues with paying bills in a house that she lives in. They both need therapy. Sidebar: Telling your 5th grade daughter that ur motherly duties are complete and you done your job is crazy! Like wow 😳

My wife had a similar situation. Her mother was on drugs so she literally was feeding and finding a way to school at a young age. Her mom went to prison and missed key moments in my wife’s life… We gotta stop doing this to each other

Karamo has No right to correct this young woman and her trauma that she's endured. As she stated "in the AA community, we're taught to keep all feelings and things that go on bottled up and swept" and that right there is Not healthy and no matter what he says "every one" goes through this 🙄 But what he's not understanding is that it's not about every other race,it's about what she knows and experience 🎯

The people who watch the shorts need to watch the full video. They defending these abusive parents cause they saw a 10 second clip where they were obviously toxic there too but I digress. They just hear belligerent "I'm right, I'm the parent, what I say goes" and think that's good parenting even though she is neglecting/abusing her daughter. We are breaking the cycle way too slow, but at least we are even trying.

MOM AIN'T GOING ANYTHING WRONG

Sorry but the mother is selfish ijs

Why do black parents always use the phrase “you ain’t on my playing field…or you not on my level.” Any time their children bring out valid concerns. It’s so dismissive and overall just not taking accountability for how your mental health can impact your children negatively

victoria....leave distance with your mother immediately. change your life. find a husband and have a family, with peace. victoria dont waste your youth trying to fix your mother

So what should mum do to " do her " now ?? Doesn't she have to choose her "happy pill"?

Not her saying she was working in fifth grade.

The mother should stop using excuses, your past doesn't define your future. And so what you started working at 15 or 14 your kids are not to blame, for any of this.

This is a long comment. It’s so much wrong with this situation. The mom like many mothers have a hard time excepting the fact that they have done their children wrong in any kind of way. I hate it when my mom dismisses my experience and make the excuse I don’t remember. Nah you remember and you know how wrong you are but when you need your child to take care of you you are as sweet as they come. She made her child grow up to fast and now that the child is mature enough to recognize your bullshit you try to put them back in a child’s mouth place but the child has grown up. Parents need to get it together. I could never make my child feel less than or invalidate his experience.

I understand what the daughter is going through they both need counselling. Js

plz anyone get help my mama died of alcohol she was 63 a high functioning alcoholic it dint matter the race or age it will kill u rip ma jan17 2023

Sad😢

Why is she still living at home?