Morality, tinder, being "risqué," youtube fame, w 🍷 and @bestdressed 

So instead of censoring her language she cut out the sponsored part :D What a boss move

When you’re here after watching Ashley’s vid

IM SEEING THE REAL ASHLEY. I FEEL LIKE SHES JUST TALKING TO HERSELF. I LOVE HOW COMFORTABLE SHE IS

Unpopular opinion: your life doesn’t end after marriage, you can still go for a rave in paris😌😂

this collab is literally all ive ever wanted in my life,,,

In reference to the, “what do I wear on the first date” question: I once was told by a Sephora employee (total stranger, weird circumstances I won’t get into) that you always look like your everyday self on the first date because.. that’s who you are! That’s who they’ll be with if they decide to pursue you, so it needs to be accurate. The 2nd date you dress cute as possible because they’ve hopefully got that puppy crush, warm feeling from the first date and you want to maximize on it. And then the THIRD date, you bust out that mad sex appeal and drive it home. 😂😂👌🏻

I would love to see you do a red wine talk with a non-RU-vidr someone with a 9-5 i feel like a lot of these conversations would go differently around money and productivity I think it’d be interesting

i feel like relationships are more like play dough because they aren't static like a card number. like you get a lump of clay and as you develop a relationship you're molding the clay into something cool. or you make something that you don't love and you get new clay and start again. but your happiness with the sculpture you made depends on if you work with the clay. (and sometimes its not about your effort, you might have had shitty dollar store clay and it just doesn't become the master piece you intended but ya know)

I think the card metaphor is something I really struggled with before. It's good to think that way to make sure you don't settle and stay in a shitty relationship but it can also be unhealthy and have you always thinking about 'oh could I do better?'. I'm married and my husband is fucking awesome, but could we both find better people out there? For sure, no doubt. But I'm not with him cuz he's the best person in the whole world and I don't care that he's not. I'm with him because we've been through shit together and we're stronger from it and I like spending time with him more than anyone else. I was really scared when I was younger like 'omg what if I meet someone better?!?' but now I'm like yeah fuck that, I like my husband and I like our history. there's a limitless amount of people I 'couldve' been with so why dwell on these theoretical people when I have someone I like? This is a ramble but I hope someone gets it lmao

RED WINE TALKS HAS A NEW HOME! 🍷🍷🍷

what happens if you flip through 10 cards and then realize card number 3 was the best and you ruined it by being curious about the rest.

Who’s here after Ashley’s video?

this video could be 2 hours long and I would watch it without even noticing

This relationships convo reminded me of a podcast called "modern love" and the episode is "we'll meet again in 5 years", basically it's about a woman who thought she met her ideal partner, but she met him way too early and wanted to discover other options, so they decided to break up and meet again in 5 years and it's the cutest story ever. Love you both

This felt like sitting in on a late night deep talk with friends lmao

That card metaphor makes it sound like people just look for what fits rather than looking for someone they want to be with. Like meeting a 7 and hoping to find a 10 next time or settling, rather than meeting a 7, realizing you like the 7 and 7 likes you back so you decide to grow together and be 10s.

👏 PLEASE 👏 DO 👏 A 👏 RED 👏 WINE 👏 TALKS 👏 PODCAST 👏

two icons coming together to share their wisdom over red wine,, magical ✨

girl who married her first relationship here

I feel like the card metaphor is a symbol of the tinder generation lol... ppl are always looking for the next best thing. idk I feel like once you’re in love you don’t give a shit about the other cards. Don’t overthink it :) you’ll know when you know. And if you get it wrong, then you can go back to the deck and see the next card 😂

I’m a simple girl, i see ashley, i click.

Ok waiting for the day I go to a rave with y'all

Damon saying "but I dont need more money" is my goal mindset.

these chats are my fav!

I'm 22 and almost 4 years into my first ever relationship, so I think about the card analogy sometimes. Where I stand with it at the moment is that I don't care about the other cards as long as I am satisfied with my own. Besides, unlike cards, people don't necessary come to you as a 7 or a 10. If you nurture your relationship, the number can grow higher.

The card metaphor is more how people who I think aren't ready to settle down see dating. At least now that I'm in a place where I want to settle down and meet that person who I can build a life with, I don't think "what if I could meet someone better suited for me?" I'm just thinking about the person in front of me and whether or not we can make it work. Instead it's more like "I know I want to be with this person. I don't want to keep looking through the rest of the deck. But are their character flaws something that I can deal with for the rest of my life? Are our differences something we can work through together?" I think if you still want to "look through the rest of the deck" then you're not ready to focus on the card in front of you. There's no way to build a lifelong relationship if you're not 100% in on the person you're with.

That card metaphor seems off to me. Real life is not like Tinder. Be happy if you get lucky, the timing is right and you get to connect with another human being. Don‘t worry about better options, nobody is perfect.

I’ve been with my first “real” boyfriend for 9 years and we’re getting married next year! I’ve never doubted that he is the one for me. We’re best friends and I still get butterflies after all this time. It can happen :)

"THEY ARE AND I M TRYING TO BE A PART OF IT!" love it

"We can go get breakfast in the morning" is an key phrase in my love language

I loved this video! But, just to touch on the young marriage statement. I married young (I was 21 and my husband was 25). But I moved to Finland to be with him and then we traveled to 11 countries in one year and actually did go to a rave in Paris on a yacht! So getting married young does not mean all your dreams will go away. You can do cool shit still, but now youre doing cool shit with a built in bestie :-) although I do agree that some people get married young and then stop living the life they dreamed.

Ashley is so smart, like genuinely such an intelligent person

Two romantics who also happen to make cool ass videos? Ooh, this is bound to be good!

I didn’t want this talk to be over, can’t wait for the next one!

ugh loved this

i'm French and trust me when i say that all guys in France are "thirsty" or at least a bit flirty haha maybe it's just that it's in our culture to see parties as a way to meet new people, and rarely in a friendly way that's how you can easily meet guys without any dating apps in France, at least I've noticed that you don't necessarily need them to go on dates also, I don't know about america, but in France, it's kinda frequent to have people come at you with no excuse just to come talk for a bit because you seem nice or to ask for a number

about the thing on what to wear on dates I also enjoy being a little extra with my outfits (whether in a too formal way or too informal way) and I’ve realised that my crush’s reaction to my outfits pretty much says if he is also interested in me or not. For example, one night I dress quite classy while he has a casual look and the next night he comes looking like a fancy snack (basically, he acknowledged my look and was trying to recreate it in order to impress me). My point is that yes, we do dress to impress.

In terms of relationships: someone once said to me you got to evaluate every relationship on its own, for example in the card metaphor, when you find a card you like and that matches you, you just make that work for you, no matter what number they might be objectively. Personally, I don’t believe in the “one”, that there is just one person out there in the world for every person. I think there are multiple people you could possibly be compatible with, but part of a relationship is making it work with one of the people you are compatible with (and when I say make it work I don’t mean staying in a relationship that is toxic or wrong for you, but working through the little things bc no one is perfect and to stay together people need to understand one another and have their value and priorities aligned)

This is better than any MCU crossover we could ever get

Love yall but Americans have such a fairytale perspective on continental Europe hee-hee. Also tend to disagree about the relationship/deck of cards metaphor: I believe there's a shit ton of potential 'true love's out there in the world, but true love is also a matter of commitment, dedication, attention, shared experiences. It's something that has to be built up together. I agree that settling too young may come at the expense of other experiences, but I don't think settling too young can come at the expense of finding your 'true love'. With the deck of cards mentality it would only be harder to find 'true love' because you will never commit 100%. Like someone else said in the comments: why criticize the mentality of optimizing productivity when you view love as something that can be 'optimized' as well?

Im actually so shook at this collab this is all i’ve ever wanted i can die peacefully

A cross over we would never have thought of, but now can’t imagine a world without

I really enjoyed this!

Sorry for expanding on every point that they make, but there's also a study on this! 11:43 Statistically, after a household reaches an income of 75,000 a year (this is for a family of four), then the amount of happiness they get from having that much money is almost the exact same as what they would have with any type of higher income.

I also miss raving across Europe. I lived in Berlin for a while, and I miss having the opportunity to rave to some techno whenever I need to let out steam.

I swear I've become so addicted to these. You go baby.

I wan't to get to the level where I can turn down brand deals hahah

Here after Ashley's video. Love this friendshippp.

This shit getting me woke. I’m about to graduate Uni while working and I’m proud I’m graduating in 4 years with an impacted major but I have anxiety and burnout. It shouldn’t be productivity first and self care/happiness last.

Haha loved this. But the dating part- happiness doesn’t come from having lots of options aka “a deck of cards”. If you constantly have choices (which is the issue for our generation) you’re always going to wonder if you could have gotten someone better. Tbh, if you find a guy/girl that is nice and loving, make the commitment. That’s why grandma and grandpa were together for 55 yrs. I’m not saying couples that were together for 55 years were the happiest but I think everyone deserves a life partner who will always be there for you and vice versa. Anyway, you’d also have to have a long term mindset for this type of relationship. It’s ok to also not be ready for it, but eventually it should be the goal. Much love!!

I'll literally watch about anything with Ashley in it

Imo the card deck analogy is really messed up. I'm not sure if anyone else agrees but the reason people have a hard time feeling satisfied in a relationship is because they're always thinking about the other possibilities out there instead of being happy with their partners.

i've never been in love or in a relationship and now i'm already overthinking about it because of that metaphor and the thing about your first partner lol

Nobody: French people : ASHLEY YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT ALL YOUR FINGERS ON THE GLASS ! YOUR GONNA WARM UP THE WINE !!

I dont think i agree with the card statement, i think its much simpler: do you see yourself living the life YOU want to live with that person by your side. When you think about it like this you find the answer very quickly. I donk think you need multiple partners to know, you can know what you want or what you look for for yourself, and if the person fits, there is chemistry and friendship, and support, and fun, then thats the one, you wouldnt have the need to ask is there better.

I think what’s most important is finding a person to be your SO that you have great communication with, have some fights to find out how to talk about tough things, have similar idealisms and future goals that fit together. And most importantly to actually put in the work cause love is easy, relationships can be hard and you have to make a conscious decision to stay with that person and possibly make sacrifices. You can’t expect someone to be perfect and you can’t expect your relationship to be easy all the time

I actually wondered why Ashley didn’t try to hang out with you while she was in Paris… I’m so excited to see that it actually happened😂

for 12:28, i read this tweet that said "rest is not a waste of time" and that rest IS productivity in way (because you literally need it) and it's made me feel a tiny bit better about not ALWAYS working on something as a creative, i'm always feeling like what i'm doing needs to be monetized like oh no i can't just create this art, i have to SELL this art but that's not the case

i want you guys to talk about: -Confidence. -How to succeed in life. -How to make awsome friends. -Traveling around the world for cheap (cuz im broke lmao). -Body image. -Meeting the love of ur life. -College? Thank You.

“If u had tinder would u still be together for 55 years?” killed me

First video on this channel is with ASHLEY FROM BESTDRESSED i couldn't ask for more

ashley's voice sounds so cute in this c:

I have so much to say about this video, I really just want to be in the room having this conversation. When you're young, dating can definitely seem like a deck of cards all laid out and ready to be explored. The thing is, none of the elements in this metaphor are static, including yourself. Dating changes you, teaches you things about yourself and about other people and the world around you. It introduces you to new ideas and ways of living, either becoming part of you or part of your roadmap of things to avoid. You can find yourself in relationships that are good but that you're not ready for, or haven't had the experience to appreciate. You can also find yourself in bad relationships that you don't even realize aren't the best for you. You can be in a relationship that you ultimately decided wasn't working, and look back three years down the road on it with a completely different perspective. That's why I agree that it's important to explore yourself for long enough to get some kind of grasp of who you are and what you want from life--I think that's what people feel when they find themselves asking, "but what else is out there?". It's not that the person you're with isn't great, it's just that you have more exploring to do and it's not time for you to settle down yet. When that time comes is different for everyone, and some people find that they never want to, or that it doesn't take much at all. It's even more complicated than that, I could write a whole-ass book about this honestly because who people are changes constantly throughout their lives, and it's what makes long term relationships and marriages so challenging. When it clicks, though, and I can tell you from experience that it can and does click, whether or not there's potentially someone "better" for you out there doesn't matter, because you'll know you're home. Yeah, there are moments where you doubt it or maybe you try to fight it, especially when you're mad or hurt, but that shit is like gravity, it just pulls you in. I'm a little older than you guys, turning 32 next month, and I've been with my best friend for 10 years, married for 5. There are plenty of people out there who might be easier to deal with, or who might do more for me or have more in common with me, but there is nobody on this planet who would be an adequate replacement. Some people just become part of you, and the thought of losing them becomes like losing your own arm or leg, and that's love. It's painful and beautiful and once you really feel it, you know.

Just came here after the Paris vlog and loved your guys’ thoughts on how being a full time RU-vidr can cost your creativity. I agree with Ashley that it almost seems ideal to keep a steady job and RU-vid a hobby just so you don’t feel forced to censor yourself to pay your bills

please just keep talking about relationships and dating as a 20 something so i can cry

i was like is that ashley surely that’s not ashley and then i was like THATS ASHLEY!

truly vibing to these wine talks

Does anyone else think that Ashley's "throw-her-head-back" laugh is adorable?

Please do more videos together. ALSO. When Ashley said "people don't realize that they can feel their first love's feelings, AGAIN, with someone else, on a deeper level." just fucking changed me. but like how you know tho?

Ummm - WHAT? The collaboration I never knew I needed!

Already commented but alsooo about the deck of cards analogy...I had one serious boyfriend before I met my husband and after meeting him I didn’t really feel this need to look at other “cards”. A successful relationship isn’t necessarily about picking the hottest/nicest/most perfect person but about finding someone whose flaws you can accept and who you can grow with

How cuteee, you really engage when you talk to people, I really respect that.

I broke my earphones because of my excitementnt

Comment from Europe: you guys are crazily neo-liberal, even when it comes to loove! Optimisation is not alway the key... Still love you're videos

OMG at 5:58 the thing they're talking about is called the spotlight effect, and it's totally normal. It's basically how you always think everybody is looking at you even when their not. Humans originally evolved in this behavior because always expecting an attack from a predator is a mindset that we needed to survive. But nowadays we don't really need it that much unless your thinking in terms of social predators. So if you are always self conscious, it's not because you've put yourself up on a pedestal, it's because you're mind thinks that your in a life or death situation and trying to keep you out of danger.

everybody needs a Damon

I was watching a video and I was like I’ll watch it after it, then I saw with best dressed and I had a heart attack.

Ngl, I saw the thumbnails for these videos and idek if I'd enjoy it (they're too dark boo they deserve better!). But after watching one I was like "I need to watch another" next thing yanno I'm hooked!

I love when Ashley puts up chatty videos because she's honest with us, this collab was great.

See Damon, now you and Ashley got me contemplating my relationship bc he is my first boyfriend been together for almost four years. And I feel as though we are really good together & I wouldn't mind marrying him. But, I do understand where you guys are coming from about exploring other options. See this why I appreciate this type of content. It's good to hear what other people think about when it comes to love. Anywho, I still loved the video of course. much love xoxo

the things you said about europe just made me lol.

THIS IS THE BEST COLLAB AHHH IM SO HAPPY

The topics you talk about in this video are so important for young viewers or ANY viewers to think about and it comes across so real! The hustle and productivity culture of North America is insane and I’m so happy y’all talked about this 🙏🏻

On the topic of reading on public transport. As a European (I can't speak for everyone obvisously), I feel like I've gotten more done if I do my reading while on the metro, instead of taking time off when I get home to read. It's more about being productive and fitting in that me-time when it works, rather than anything else

I'm french and I didn't know raves were still a thing lol

On the cards talk I think that we have to look at our relationship and think if there are any problems right now that could be major in the future. Like wanting to have kids or not and things that truly matter to you, like where you'd like to live etc... If you have the same mind of the major things and you feel at home with that person then you're most likely in a very loving relationship. Sure you can love multiple people throughout your life but if you believe in monogamy you have to pick at some point. Even in polyamorous relationships I found that most of the times they have a main partner and they have casual relationships with other people. So still they have to pick that someone. And about having to date many people to feel like they're the one doesn't really work because, like you said, if you have the mentality of always wanting to know if there's someone more compatible you'll never be truly happy. You can't never be 100% compatible with someone and as long as you agree in the important things that matter for both of you then you can work out stupid problems, like the way you clean the house and about shoes in the house. You always have to change to be in a relationship. It may sound bad but if you want to build friendships and not pick fights with your family you have to pick the things that you want to fight about. For me it would be a complete no-no if they were racist and homophobic and sexist. Those things for me are worth fighting about so I'd never be with someone like that, but the way you put the toilet paper or whatever is always something you both can work on and find an agreement. I'd love to be in your wine talks. Come to Manchester, UK and I'll gladly pour you some.

love this video of you two!! so glad it was recommended!

I swear to god Damon, these wine talks need to become a podcast, they've become the soundtrack to my studying and my commute dudee x

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR MY WHOLE LIFE

I nearly screamed when I received the notification. My two favourite youtubers in a video together... I’m I dreaming?

Red Wine Talks is my new favorite thing on RU-vid!

This felt so honest and real. Thank you for addressing things that aren't usually talked about, and reflecting on the fact that your perspective might not always be the healthiest/correct one!

I'VE BEEN WAITING THIS FOR SO LONG two of my fav youtubers together I'm so happy I wanna be friends with both of you

Such a great convo! Loved that point about success being relative and the reflection on quality and money having an inverse relationship when it comes to creativity.

It is so great to hear that other people have the same thoughts and worries and perspectives as you do about life and everything and saying it out loud 🖤

Omg i loved this! Sitting and discussing these topics and drinking wine is literally goals

The money does not equal happiness comment was such a good reminder

Grindr stories, rave stories, another love stories

yesss, this is the collab I didn't expect but is what I needed

This is my comfort video I watch it all the time when I can’t sleep. Thank you for this.