Preach!!!….i left my ex-husband bc I was miserable. I wanted for NOTHING, but his arrogance and narcissistic attitude was not worth it!! I left and had more peace the first night I left. I slept on the floor of a one bedroom apartment and it was the best sleep I had in years.❤
Forgive me for laughing but the first sentence you wrote was hilarious lol. I can tell you couldn't WAIT to get away from his behind lol. I'm glad you got out of that. You deserve better.
👏👏👏 Like Tony says emotional security over financial security. It’s frustrating how the high earning men claim they want a “good” woman, but it seems like they really don’t. Seems as though they want a doormat that they can treat however they please. Why…because they make money??
@missybelle4644 i was with a broke man 18 years, he worked wasn't consistent tho always those temp jobs for electrical and i think he was lying i feel like he was doing something on those jobs and they didn't want to hire him on so i don't know but it was chump change what he was able to give me after everything was taken out so I carried everything basically smh until i got tired...he wanted the same thing tho, they all want the same thing respect and they don't give it when it's the woman doing it because it goes against the order🤦🏽♀️smh... it's just something wrong with men nowadays I don't know the devil got a hold to em...i just want to be single... God gonna have to put a halo around the man and he gonna have to be falling from the sky with prayer hands 🙏🏽 for me to try again...im good 😂 did u get the visual tho bahahahaha 🤣 cracks me up!
A man with CHARACTER is (1) Ambitious (2) God Fearing (Submissive to God’s Word) (Understands life is bigger than him) (3) Emotionally Intelligent (4) He has a Growth Mindset (He wants to get better) (5) He will not yell at you (6) He will not curse at you (7) He will not call you out of your name (8) He will not cheat on you (9) He will not abuse you (10) He will not lie to you (11) He will not deceive you (12) He will not mislead you (13) He will not control you (14) He will not dominate, dictate or domineer
Chasing money in men actually ends up putting women last. I used to chase money primarily out of fear of recreating my upbringing. I ended up in a situationship with a man with money, but who was comfortable lying to me and crossing my boundaries. It’s good to desire to life comfortably with your husband, but your character as a woman should be one of warmth, growth and not entitlement. Yes, he can take care of you, but making him feel like it is a choice for him and not something forced upon him is important too. I was forcing him to spend on me to make me feel secure, little did I know that if he genuinely liked me in the first place, he would have done it on his own, and would have advocated more for me being my own boss. A successful relationship cannot be built on money only. Thanks for this video Tony
I used the second quote for my students last month; Mr. Gaskins has a longer quote with this in it. I help men in a correctional facility obtain their GED. They thought 😮I was mocking them. 🤦🏽♀️
@@ericawhitfield7876 🙏🏾. I know what you mean, I have observed women have one word for men who don't listen, follow through, and apply that which can change and save their own life and that is: "men". 🙏🏾 Keep your sanity, trust God for knowledge, wisdom, and understanding for your success and theirs. Trust me, I have always done my best to work hard and apply myself and take the success clues people leave for me. For example, I took the advice of people like Andy Henriquez, Tony Gaskins, Les Brown, Terri Savelle Foy and at least write blogs, self published one book, post monetizable content on RU-vid/Instagram/Facebook/TikTok, create products 👕 🍵 on Zazzle - stuff you can't be fired from. Meanwhile, I have cousins and friends who can dance, sing, joke, do sports analysis and won't create the content - they're so good that they would be financially free - but they're too busy shying away, being skeptical, and caring that a future job wouldn't hire them.
You are correct. Just like men shouldn't expect a woman to be working, doing all the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing. Women shouldn't be expecting to contribute nothing or bare minimum. Teamwork is the best way to go!
Tony Gaskins is a rare voice of wisdom in today’s society. If you truly pay attention to his teachings you will get the message that will truly transform how you live and view life and love. I have so much respect for this man !! may God bless you, Mr. Gaskins
Broke in spirit is way worse to deal with in a long-term commitment. If you, instead, get with a hardworking man with character, the money will go up. I've experienced it.
I agree character is more important than money…but why are black women the only ones constantly told we have to take care of ourselves 1st to prove we deserve a provider.
I feel like self-love should be a top priority outside of GOD. Overall health is vital. Although black first. I know tony doesn't single black women out. He speaks in regard to ALL WOMEN. He may bring up scenario as you may already know. This seems more in regard to society standards/trends/pandering. That has been a narrative in our culture and towards our culture for years. But the masses arent conforming in order to change that narrative. We are our own worst enemies and still the most hated by many.
Your problem is you believe what you said. ALL races of women wk before a man comes along. The only difference is other races of women build with the men their with. While you complain about doing that very thing.
Any woman should be able to take care of herself because a man can divorce you, desert you or die on you. If he’s sick, are you going to starve? Worse, what about the children? Come on Sis!
White men are saying the same thing about their women. You need to search RU-vid. This is an American issue. Where do you think the MGTOW movement originated? White men.
Hey Tony, you made some very valid points. The dating advice these days is for women to beautify themselves (focus on skin, fitness, beauty) so that men will want to provide for us and that includes a luxurious lifestyle to make women's life easier. That "building" together with men emasculates men or that any men who says they want to "build" with a woman is a feminine man. I have also heard many stories of women who have built together with men, struggled during their lows and worked through everything together only to have the man leave her for another woman ( younger, prettier... like an upgrade). That instilled alot of fear in women these days when it comes to wanting to "build" with men. I mean no malicious intent in my comment, but genuinely want to understand and learn to navigate in this complicated dating world. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you and God bless
That’s when a man’s character comes in to play. It should come before anything else. Who is he when no one is watching? Fear can cause us to make decisions that hinder us. In college I had a mentor tell me fear was False Evidence Appearing Real Fear of a man leaving can’t be the reason for not getting into a relationship. I understand what you’re saying too. ❤ It’s important to involve God in everything we do.
@@taylorspastpresent1014 I appreciate your reply. I do agree that the man's character will come to play but I think a person's character when they are still building vs. when they finally are successful is not something we can easily judge until the time has come. I thought I should add to the original comment that what I meant by this line, "that instilled alot of fear in women these days when it comes to wanting to "build" with men," is that because of this fear, more women then chooses to seek out men who are already able to fully provide or are already successful (without having women to build together with them). So it's not that the fear causes women to not get into relationships, but that this fear causes women to then seek men who are already successful and do not require women to build along with them.
There is a lot of misinformation out there.. Evaluate his character and values first, then money. Ask yourself, is he a genuinely good person who treats people well and is working hard to improve himself? Also reevaluate what you want. Are you seeking a “luxurious lifestyle” because it’s trendy or because it’s what you actually want? I understand not wanting to be poor and struggle but you can live a great , comfortable life without luxury.
Tony I look forward to building with a man. But realistically I know so many black woman that elevated a black man, helped his Buissness , gave him ideas, did so much just to get left or cheated on. Black men have because very treacherous to the point it’s getting dangerous. You have to know who you can build with and don’t do anything too soon. I would love a teaching on WHEN to start helping a man build.
I agree. It's not about 'deserve'. There's wonderful, deserving people who haven't been financially successful, but to have that expectation without working for it usually comes from the wrong place@@blacksongbird100
This is probably my favorite video of yours… our minds have been so warped by social media .. a real man of character is priceless! Invaluable! And women miss that mark daily …
I agree with most of what you are saying Tony. Thank you for sharing truths. However, the only thing I want to caveat is that some women just don't want to build with a man/build him up when they are themselves already very successful because of childhood trauma. They may have grown up in a single-parent household where their father was not only absent but did not financially contribute. So, to them building with a man may be a scary idea, as there is a possibility that they may switch up on the woman even though the woman has stuck by them when they were low/ in the trenches and helped them build. I have seen this happen first-hand. Yes, I know a lot of people will say it is not a guarantee a man will do this and it is true, I believe God has better in store for me and my life. But it is absolutely worth mentioning that underneath SOME of these women's 'demands' on a man (when they are well established themselves) is just them trying to protect themselves - that is it!. They may want to trust but are just apprehensive about it, that's all. I am a 30 year old virgin & sometimes I wonder if after all the trauma I have experienced I be able to give it to my husband. - Anyway, I believe God is a healer and a restorer of all wounds!
@@m3g0miaincorrect, some things need to be worked through within marriage. It is very stupid to walk around and thinking a man/woman can be trusted so let me build them up financially if they are not there yet. In the Bible it actually calls us to LOVE people but NOT trust them. - psalm 118:8 - Micah 7:5-6 - Isaiah 2:22 . Pick up your Bible and read it. Trust is built over time, it is not to be given straightaway, and even then a true character of a person may not be known - only sensible people recognise and understand that.
It don't matter if he a earner or broke they both expect the same thing from a woman...character and his morals and God are the only thing gonna set him apart...that broke dude still gonna want to be in control 😂 and u gonna be like shut up 🙄 I pay for both of us dummy 🤣 don't do this ladies 🙏🏽 just be single and wait but don't sit around waiting go on about your life still u know what im saying?
I have never desired a man to take care of me, but I desire a man that knows his role in a relationship. I believe in working and having my own money. I have witnessed where the man was the bread winner and that woman got dogged out, disrespect, cheated on and beat up. She ended up divorcing her husband yes she got alimony, but it wasn't enough to sustain her lifestyle. So as a 55 year old single mother of 2 adult children and 1 grand daughter I learn to hold my own. And, if a good man comes in my life and help me, I would consider that to be a bonus. One the other hand if he walks out and leave me, I promise anyone I WILL BE OK.
Exactly! I agree. I'm a Mexican-American 51 year old single, childless woman. Growing up and to this day, I have never desired a man to provide for me either. I can't even fathom that. I love holding my own and having my own. However, if a man comes along and wants to sit me down, I will count it a blessing. 😂
Its TRUE tho!!! I have a friend that looks absolutely cray. Dry skin all the time, hair hardly ever done(crunchy edges) but makes over 100k and says she can not date a man that makes less than 100k. Mind you she says no men approach her. Ok guryl lol keep waiting for the fairytale
I just wonder if they know being “sat down” with children and taking care of a man is ALSO a full time job that not everyone is cut out for? Let me tell you, as a mother, I know for a fact I wouldn’t wanna stay at home all day with no kids 🥴 Saying that to say, sometimes the life that you think you want is actually the life you’d least enjoy.
Honestly, some women feel like this about men & money because of men's shady character. Women now feel like hey, if he's going to cheat, use, abuse, & mistreat me, I at least need to be living comfortably. Most men aren't like you, Tony.
Many well-off, rich men have periods/years of decline in their lives. Their wealth over their lifetimes can look a bit like a wave formation, similar to markets. I guess the best woman is one that will be by their side through the good and bad times, to the end.
The man didn’t always have money.. and if he did, you don’t know what she puts up with behind closed doors. It’s women ready to end it all but showing the world a smile.
Marriage is team work. Working together to grow and for the benefit of the family surrounded by Respect and Love and encouraging each other! PROVERBS 31 describes a woman that we women should aspire to!
I hear you tony however if women working too ,it does seem like women doing 4 jobs( financial, childcare,house care and support her men)while men doing one(financial) on average. Involved father and men doing doing housework(without being ask) is NEW therefore its not average. However there been massive increase women(in the west) financial aslo provide in the household ( some not by choice as cost super expensive). So thats why many women of today (more educated, more independent, have more rights etc)are not satisfied in reduceing his burden while he doesnt even try to reduce hers.
Thank you Mr Gaskins your advice has literally changed my entire life & I believe God is working on my fiance too! God bless you & keep the videos coming!!!!
I always look at a person character because that is very important in a relationship. A person character speaks volumes. Tony you is on point with this one.
Do you think these dynamics are different for a woman who has her own money wanting a man with just as much or more than she has? Meaning she is self-sufficient and can fund the lifestyle she desires.
I think they are. We women should have our own money, bottom line. A man that doesn't want his woman to work sees her as a threat because she doing what she suppose to do. MEN will tell you that they want to take care of you not knowing you will end up having to quit your job because of his insecurities, get treated cause he's the man now and basically dance to his music. You will be broke but he won't. He'll be out and about like you use to, but you won't. Everything you did for yourself has ended because he lied. He don't give a damn about your feelings or nothing else you got going on cause you're on his time now. His character is what you are left to deal with and he'll say of that's too damn bad.
@@inettawalker9387not all men. In many cases, this is true. But there are plenty of homemaker who are living peaceful, healthy, loved, happy and are successfully unemployed without power struggles and financial abuse.
No I don’t think it’s any different. IMO women who want marriage and a family want to work less at some point. And in order for her to be able to do that and be comfortable, she will need a husband with character and the traits that drive him to make more. So its cool that y’all make the same and you don’t need his help per say but in marriage that’s gonna change and both people need to be able to know how to move if money gets funny. Just my thought
Give me a man with money and character then. If his investments go down 50% : Me : Babe, you still have a job? Yes? How much money do we have in savings? Let's buy 50% more! 🤑 Take the winnings and buy more multifamily with seller financing so we continue on increasing our cash flow above our expenses; we could be buying businesses! You feels me? 🤑🤓 We're preparing for the next recession!
Great points! I couldn’t imagine having a husband and not seeing him daily. I hope most men/women develop this same mindset and become realistic for once in love & relationship.
Thank you, thank you and thank you for ALL the lessons you share with us. And you know what, all or most of these stories are in the Bible. We are all made with a Brain that Reasons and Calculates. We have eyes to see and ears to hear!
I think we as people are underestimating the dating phase. This is why we have to TAKE OUR TIME to get to know a person. We cannot lead with one single trait and use that one thing as to why we are deserving to be with someone. We aren’t entitled to people and have to stop dating with an entitled spirit. A lot of people simply want to show up with their lead character but don’t want to contribute any actual value to the other person. I think men and women are a lot more alike than we are different. We all want to be seen, loved, respected, and valued. Character and humanity are not gender specific. Thank you Tony for all you do! 🖤🤎
Because they are masculine women. Masculine women attract softer men. Just like a masculine man attracts more softer women. Its just mother nature working.
I enjoyed this message as always…I really do think the Key is to look for good solid character vs money in a man…Men with poor character have boatloads of money too but abysmal crappy characters and the women that seek men of certain means end up with guys like them and they treat them exactly like Tony said…property and transactional …that’s miserable….
It says in the Word the wife is to be the husband helpmeet. If the husband is doing his work, it gives the wife to do her part. Lastly, we also have to understand there is a difference between character and personality.
I appreciate you spitting all the FACTS Tony but your wasting your breath with these very woman who cares less about character! They value money over it and we see it each and every day!! I’m just happy I care less about money and more about character!! Gods Will I be blessed with a man who has character, compassion and who loves God as I do. 🙏🏽💯💯
Brother Tony, you are making this so plain and easy to digest for us grown mature women of character & love. Thank You. Appreciate you for this message.
My dear Tony “Religione”.. “Money doesn’t matter it’s their character.” A rational “Thinker” has a remarkable “Character.” It’s within the heart that matters…Love life with honesty and delight!! 💯🎉😊👍🏽🤗
Most women don't care about how much a man makes. I think men believe women care about that because of society and social media but I think most women are not raised to think that way, and even ones who claim it would soften their heart for a man that truly cared about them and had less money than them. But tbh some of us women are not making that much money either lol... Low key I truly think the state of being a woman alone (whether you have kids or don't)still kinda feels like women get the shorter end of the stick in being married just a lil bit ...T_T But marriage has a lot of benefits to it still for both sexes. Not gonna knock it, I do still want to be married. But just saying.... And a 3rd thing to consider, nothing would ever make a woman 100% ready for marriage when she's not even healed though. She couldn't even handle a man of character well.
I glance every so many months at your messages, I'm married and toss my husband out without blinking. He's chasing, improving and praying to Jesus like crazy. I wasn't easy when he mat me, so what was he thinking after-the-facts. You are so correct it's scary. U got to keep those legs locked 🔒....lock legs, less drama. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.💯....I don't care how fine a brotha is, because he's fine don't mean he's KIND.
@@kimberlyturner820yes.... We basically grown up together. Married young and he was rape by a jezebel at 13 years old and she followed through -out our marriage. God directs me to him to get out the grips of her evil grasp. He better now, but it was hard work and affected our marriage greatly. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. He's was a lot younger than. Sometimes it's the things they entertain before you. I hope that answers your question. 🫂 Praying for our Men. He still is my best friend only, but I won't sleep with him. Allowing God to direct even now.
I think those women who be lawyers or business owners already want a man with six figure more than any thing so she won’t have to pay for all the traveling n lifestyle cars ect
Na they just dont want to pay at all. For anything lol. They are selfish minded women. They dont plan on working as a team, they just want you to trick on them. Empty life.
Tony is so right my MedTech job just had a merger. New CEO for a month and he got Terminated the day before Thanksgiving and I'm a little person but still have my job. Character is key this will give you insight on to a good man. Character in yourself and children if you have any. Also if your children Character speaks for it self men will see that as well. It gives representation on who the PARENTS are! Blessings
I agree with what you’re saying but I also know this goes for men as well who are involved with women who are making more money than them. And to get cursed or called out of your name in either instance should never be accepted just because you don’t agree with the other person’s opinion. If the requirement someone has is not equivalent to the relationship that is best for you, then walk away.
Get bored quickly. Come across the right one he out of there smh Don't no man want a barbie in real life. Just there no personality. Spoken like a father
I do concur with this message; however, the trepidation of most women, especially women with character AND currency, we refuse to be escorted into any chaos and lack. We understand that life happens, but Adam had his affairs in order ( money included) when Eve was presented. I think Bro. Tony was only 21 when he was still climbing to success, and his fruit began to speak by a a certain juncture. Thus, women need to see fruit at a certain age. In short, I think this message is for a individuals who lack vision in which he did state at the beginning.
That’s true I want more time then money more of a family man long as he jus not sittn on the couch comfortably while I’m busting my but workn I’ll be there and I’m stick beside him if he wants to move up n company or make his own business as I’m looking to make my own business for something I love as well
I learned this the hard way. The money will come, my ex made 30,000 when we met and 80,000 4 years later and continued to increase. The lesson is to have that mindset of partnership and helping to build and not have your hand out. If you don’t get it, you’ll feel it. Thanks for the videos, painful truths for sure.
Thank you so much for bringing correction cuz these women want the man to bring all this to the table and they can't afford have that crap their self preach teach and tell'em
