Mother of a Depressed Child-Wendy 

this was a tragically beautiful story. thank you for sharing it with the world, Wendy. So many times I wanted to reach through the screen and hug you, just hold you. you have a beautiful soul & the world is a better place with you in it 🧡

Sending love your way,

Wendy, just wow. I can’t come to words and I’m only half way through. All I can bring myself to say is I can’t believe how you so clearly, orderly, and fully are telling your story. I think god takes us when we or he is ready for us no matter how it happens regardless how we feel about it. You’ve touched my heart this morning.

You probably won’t see this, but I think you telling the world your story is the bravest thing you can do. I’m proud of you for getting clean and I hope that you continue to better yourself. I also want to say that you are very well spoken, you are straightforward, smart, and seem like a wonderful woman. I wish you the very best in life, and I hope that whatever you blame yourself for, you are able to realize that it is not your fault. I think your story could be used as a way to say “hey, this is what happened to me and I was able to get better, and if I can then you definitely can too.” Good luck Wendy🤍!

Congratulations on being clean. I hope you make it through and see the world more beautifully.

Well said. Thank you for posting this.

Goddam. I've been Tate this whole time

@@diegoshepherd3464 M

Very sorry for your loss. Wonderful to hear what you two are doing

You talk of a woman who I don't see talking. She seems extremely selfish and her children should have been taken away from her. Everything seems to be about her vs her children. Indeed, she seems to be extremely mentally ill and seemingly an absent mother who was more about herself and treating herself to what _she_ wants and needs. Why wasn't she checking her meds to make sure she was taking them? How could she not notice how thin she was? She seriously made a pinky swear that if her daughter killed herself then she would?! Wth is wrong with this woman? It's all about her & her inner child 🙄. Does she actually give a flying fk about her other children? Yes, Mara was _her_ apparently. She was everything yet she neglected tf out of her in favor of, of course, herself. This woman should have had her children taken away or they should have lived with their father's, anything but with her. She's mad at the hospital for prescribing Wellbutrin? She's the "mother" who didn't check once if she was taking it or not, yet she's mad at the hospital? *side note...I personally do not advise anyone take Wellbutrin. Years ago I tried it and it really messes with you. Finally, I got "on" it and I stabilized. I tried to help others having the same problems getting on it. In retrospect, nobody should stay on something that messes with moods as much as Wellbutrin did. I should've advised them to get off of it rather than suffer through to hopefully reach stability. A friend went into psychosis on it. So, i don't reccomend it* Just incase anyone thinks that I wouldn't know anything about what she's been through, think again. I can't even begin with my story because I would need a show like this myself. All I have to say is the O.P. made her sound like a totally different woman than I've seen here. Hopefully she truly was a better person and mother than the story she has told. I hope she's treated her other children with love and attention, especially the one she seems to like the least, even though it's hard to tell as she doesn't give either of them any mind. I'm taking about the one who was "9 but is autistic and so she's really like 7" the one who asked why she said the F word upon finding Mara "but, she's autistic. She remembers that and always asks that". Gee, that's all I know, & now everyone else knows about her 3rd, obviously less blessed and less important than Mara. The 1st child. Ash. Well, she didn't breast feed him. He broke in to save one of her many suicide attempts. Gee, that's all we know about the less important children. We sure know about Wendy though. Perhaps she saves herself. I'm over an hour into "All about Wendy" and how _she_ reacted to her favorite child taking their life. All about the after. Not too much about before because even though she pinky sweared to kill herself with her daughter (yup. That'd do it Wendy. Make it about YOU. Your daughter is suicidal but she won't do anything because if she does that means YOU will too! Yup. Making it about you should fix her very serious problems). Wendy didn't help her when she had all F's. Big warning flag. Then, the infamous pinky swear, smh! Then, Wendy took her to a hospital. Fought about a drug that didn't matter because she wasn't even taking it! Yet this is a huge sort of WIN for Wendy. It literally makes no sense as to why she thinks she won because she didn't want her daughter on Wellbutrin. Seems like she didn't fight as hard as she says because her daughter ended up taking home the Wellbutrin. As a mother, she has the power over the Doctors in this situation. She could've had them change it to something else. She says she was "vicious" and "NO, she's not taking that!" Yet, Mara walked out with the Wellbutrin that Wendy said she viciously fought against? It doesn't matter anyways because Wendy wasn't even present enough to make sure Mara was taking them! I just can't pretend. Her daughter is suicidal, nothing but skin and bones, yet Wendy doesn't notice nor does she pay attention to her daughter's meds or what or if she eats? The layers of sweaters?! Well. She said right away that Mara had horrific anxiety as a _BABY_ ! Chewing her nails to nubs...as a BABY?! Gee, excuses much? Maybe that child, NOT BABY, but since a baby wasn't getting the attention and comfort she needed. She likely saw and fed off of the emotions of the only one who mattered...WENDY & WENDY'S inner CHILD. Sorry but those were her words and sometimes we have to fill in the Wendy blanks. Smh. I couldn't feel worse than I do for all her children. How did Ash and your _other_ daughter deal with losing Mara and how did your little (autistic 9 years old but more like 7, smh) deal with losing her sister & having a constantly drunk, pilled, doped up mother who constantly tries to kill herself? DOES SHE EVEN MATTER, WENDY?! SMH. I just can't with this woman. I say this having extreme childhood trauma & neglect. A whole house fire full of children, pets and my mom. 3 didn't make it and almost more. It didn't stop after that. Trauma after trauma after Trauma. A mother who was sicker than Wendy, who grew up with trauma worse than Wendy and I suffered neglect and trauma's that I carry to this day, yet at least I can say my mother would never tell her story without putting us everywhere in it. The title should have been: All about Wendy.

Literally.

yeah.. hope everything gets better

​@@DarknessBlossoms I feel like after the death of a child, life doesn't (can't) get better... you just keep going.

Load of bs, once you're an adult, you have a choice to keep screwing up, acting stupid or do the right thing.

​@@DeathSpellXVIeasier said than done.

BS, everyone is damaged in some way, we just deal with life differently.

I actually recently did start writing. Thank you for saying that, I needed a lift today. :)

​@@TheWendyworthingtonwhat a tragic but also hopeful story! You are such a a fantastic story teller. You definitely should write. I am so sorry for your loss. I have two daughters and I can't imagine losing one of them. I am excited for how you are turning your life around. I subscribed to your channel to follow your journey. I pray your son and daughter are doing well. Take care of yourself. You are valuable and loved.

​@@TheWendyworthington while I listened to your interview, I thought the same thing. You are such a good story teller. I am sending you a strong hug.

i had an extraordinarily close relationship to my father because me and my mother were in different hospitals for the first 12 days of my life and he would go back and forth between us to bring my mom's milk to me in the NICU and i felt such a similar pain after my dad died. parents and children are bonded together in a special way beyond anything. even though my details are different this one was hard for me to watch too because i felt the pain of traumatic childhood events, disassociation, suicidal ideation, losing my parent....never cried so hard from this channel.

This was very helpful. I was thinking today that I really need to update my first aid/cpr training. This just confirmed it. Also, many do not realize that mental health first aid training is out there as well. It helps people to learn how to best support someone who is suffering from different disorders so as no to cause harm to that person unknowingly. We even train our police force in my area and have a mental health police liaison officer based out of our hospital in plain clothes who supports people that are unwell to deal with the court system or police as well so that people who get involved with the law due to their mental illness are not unduly incarcerated.

That includes mental health and addictions both. They are no longer seen as separate here. They are all the same program now so that people can more easily access the help they need if they have both issues going on. Which is so common. Alot of mental health issues are self medicated with substances until the person receives proper treatment or get in the right meds. They self medicate often to try and feel normal. It's very sad to watch. Love compassion and understanding can help someone get through another day. Also, I recommend a trusted friend attend the emergency room with the person who needs help. Often people get over looked, they leave because of the wait or may be treated unfairly if they don't have an advocate present. Going to the ER by yourself can be quite a traumatic experience I've seen just about everything there. Could write a book. Hope that helps someone.

That was very kind of you to share this for Wendy (and others). ❤ It is so easy to writhe in the pain of guilt.

Thank you. I really needed to hear this.

Thanks for that update!!😊

it makes sense a lot of times, its usually done when the body is very damaged and is truly traumatizing to see.

@@UniqueLivingGreen informed consent. The parent should be informed of any trauma and decay to the body. They should always be given a choice.

I was denied seeing my dead child by the medical examiners office and it caused horrible mental issues and prolonged and compounded my grief.

N creates all those natural questions a mom has, like it did in this circumstance. Its usually only when too much damage occurs, as u said. Not everybody knows that tho lol​@@UniqueLivingGreen

​@@loririley4354smdh 💔😖 No mother should bury her child. I'm so sorry. I cant imagine. Im truly sorry.

That was my thought as well. Glad you commented on it.

sounds so simple but feels so complicated

Ugh my whole life too. I hate it.

@@hellomarisolmo Awwww ☹️

So well put. Thank you!

Exactly!!! I feel that so bad!!!😢

You did Trust that Thank you for your intuition and service

❤

Yeah. There's more & more of us women saying no to all of it. I do wonder as I get older-- into my 60s now-- how messed up I'd have made my kids, how long I'd be divorced by now. I skipped the whole shebang. The only way had I done any of that & it had worked out, would have been some sort of divine intervention. No way.

Oh for real, id rather be in my own misery rather than expose another person id birth to it, with depression prone / overly emotional genes.

You did the right thing. This video was very hard to watch. Unfortunately, Wendy wasn’t self-aware enough to get help before having children. Even listening to her now, she seems immature and “vicious”.

Absolutely. I fight insurance companies tooth and nail as a provider. We have a long way to go. Unfortunately we live in a society that believe all illnesses are visible. The same applies for autoimmune disorders ( I've experienced this personally as well).

@@AnaFernandez-jp5uh it’s just sad at this point and I’m glad you’re fighting with them because they can be the most frustrating at times when we pay them faithfully every month

Nope. No different than a diabetic having to take insulin or go to a diabetic clinic for counselling on how to manage their illness. Mind and body are all connected. Invisible illness can be so much more painful because people suffer in silence and get judged very harshly while a person who has cancer or MS or any other type of so called physical illness are given unconditional compassion and a go fund me account. We need the same type of compassion for mental health and addictions. No one chooses to have these diseases. No wonder suicide is rampant.

It's very normal now.

Oh please. Most people I know brag about therapy like it's the latest accessory. It is normalized.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤don't give up❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤you are loved❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

sending you love and wishing you healing

Please get help 🙏🙏🙏

That's really sweet of you, and I am so glad you're still with us ❤️

You are important you are wanted and you are loved so glad you are still here, please talk to to someone even if it's just someone you don't know.

Everyone can learn so much from her story. I'm going to listen to her several times to get all the gems of wisdom she chose to share with the world. I hope she develops a TED talk on this subject.

Dont cry it dont help ✌️

Don't waste your tears over this narcissist.

​@Odes1Angel That word gets thrown around so loosely these days.

@@wesleyalan9179 so does your mom

How did you meet her?

⁠@@pepperachu😂😂 you must’ve never been to Minnesota before it’s not very big and most everybody knows everybody ok mum

​@@pepperachuMinnesotans are crazy and evil racist people ever but that behavior is global so whatever. I live in St. Paul, MN.

Many people are nice

Minnesotans are crazy and evil racist but that behavior is global so whatever. Most Minnesotans are not nice people to deal with and they could careless if you don't like how they treat you.

🫂

Big hugs!❤

I still learning this. It’s hard to put it away.

Sweetheart ❤ .. all of us true humans love you.

as woman whom has not even had a child felt that viscerally too - so very much

I never nursed, but my milk came in at the hospital. The doctor was supposed to give you a pill so that this wouldn't happen if you weren't going to nurse. I never had the desire, and I knew I had to go back to school after I had my son so nursing would have been tricky. I feel that while I was pregnant and went swimming one day in very cold ocean water, and my breasts actually started paining so bad that I was bawling and crying in pain and had to run in the washroom at the beach to try and warm up that area with my son's dad. I often wonder if I had milk come in long before I gave birth as my chest area started growing before my stomach did. But when this lady mentioned that pain she had in her breasts, it brought me back to this incident and the excruciating pain I felt I will never forget. I wonder if her state of mind at the time possibly made or triggered her mammary glands to produce milk. I truly feel this might have been what happened to me that day. If anyone has heard of this happening please let me know.

​@@tambourine36_.. интересный случай ----- оставлю комментарий в поддержку , и , возможно , кто - то Вам ответит .._ ( Google ) _.. interesting case. I'll leave a comment in support, and maybe someone will answer you .._

​@tambourine36 Biology is interesting. My sister had a sweet little dachshund dog that produced milk when they got a baby kitten, and it nursed on her even though it had been weaned recently. The dog never had puppies before but her instinct to nurture a baby of any kind made her produce milk it was so bizarre. It's for real you could see the milk dripping out when the kitten cried...Weird right?

@@MeMyself571 But so awesome how the instinct kicks in to help another species. Very cool😻

I did too. As I get older I realize that a "good" childhood is not as common as I once thought. And that is sort of comforting because I don't feel as alone in my own struggles. Wendy, you are beautiful. Thank you for sharing some of your life with the rest of us. ❤

she so articklish. I like her

she very articklish

Same

My goodness Jeremy, you are telling my story here. Had my son at 18. He is now 31 and others have always commented on the great job I did raising him. I know my my mistakes and I own up to them but I tried to make sure his life was secure and happy and that he was respectful and kind to others. He got engaged to a wonderful girl this summer and I am so proud of the man he has become. A breakup of parents at an early age can really affect kids and we don't always realize in our own pain to focus on the children and not our own hurt feelings over the breakup. Kids feel torn between pleasing both parents and never pleasing themselves. If I could go back and change some things I would. We are not experienced enough sometimes when we have children young to realize we can unknowingly do harm. It was never intentional and I try to do things much differently these days knowing some of the mistakes I made. I think he appreciates it. I can tell you are a great parent and I wish you all the best❤

Welllllll said.

Same here

Exactly

Yes!

A lot of people who have bpd were victims of trauma but not all of them.My younger sister suffer from it and we have tried to find out for so long what happened in the past for her to have bpd but simply cannot find anything, my parents loved each other and still do.modest family but very happy,always showing us a huge amount of love and still are up to this day, she was very spoil being the baby and was born with a lot of anxiety, scared of my parents dying, she had some weird rituel( now we know it was some OCD). She is 37 and we still don’t know why she suffer the way she does and shoe doesn’t know either.

Doll, when your mom passes on- you come right home. I’m in Dallas Texas and my home is yours. You will not cease to exist until you’re ready (truly your time). Not on my watch.

I thought the same thing. I'm autistic and I can see it in so many women who are undiagnosed or keep it a secret.

@@PosshMommaThat’s incredibly kind. I really appreciate that sentiment. ♥️ Never know what the future holds.

You gleaned all the nuggets of gold from this lady. Such a brave person. She has my adoration and respect.

So much peace sent to you

It took me from 14 to 40 before I found what worked for me. Having group therapy was a great place for me. I also had a great psychiatrist. Group was run by a fantastic psychologist. Just keep going until you find someone who won't throw drugs at her. You might need them but drugging your way out is not real. Try to get her to begin to understand whats going on, first. Then the drugs if needed. She can be better. Don't give up.

I’m so sorry. Keep at it. Her feeling love is everything

99% of disease is malnitrition. Look up depression nutrition its all in what you eat. Sunbathing also increases health😊😊

@@SparkyTuttlethis is good advice..

❤ I second this ❤

I agree. I'm glad she decided to not let anyone dim her light. You should be able to feel beautiful without having to make yourself smaller because another is threatened by your beauty or intelligent or anything that you are that others don't have. Narcissists are famous for tearing down the spirit of those they envy.

Wendy should do a TED talk. She has so much valuable life experiences to share with others.

Exactly, I can never for the life of me understand why so many unwell people (which is most people, let's be real) continue having children. I never even considered it, I wouldn't create a new life just so it can suffer.

This is SO important!

There's an undertone of dismissal to the world we live in that causes stressors upon on psyche...

My son has been living with generalized anxiety and also depression off and on.... he has already told me he will not be having any children because he does not want the responsibility of passing along our families genes to a child. Both his grandmothers had anxiety.

And 3 of them no less. And then there’s the exes and the new boyfriend. Please stop!

You said it very well. , Ella Goodman. I could so relate to a child becoming your whole world especially when you are not in a loving relationship. That child is your saviour because they bring so much sunshine to a shit storm. You literally try everything in your power to make their life everything yours may have not been or overcompensate for an unloving spouse or other parent to your child. I've often looked back on mistakes I had made raising my son as well and blame myself relentlessly. But truth be told we tried our best with the skills we were given. It's never to late to reflect and break the cycle and make amends. A child's suicide like anyone elses is not your fault unless you are truly a terrible negligent parent or have treated them with pure evil then yes you are part of the blame. This lady loved her daughter. It's just her daughter's pain was too great for her to withstand and this is how she sought her relief. That's not for anyone else to judge except for the only One who can truly read hearts and see motivation. We as humans can't. This girl will have happiness one day. She is at rest, and she will awaken one day to a world of peace, no sickness, the former things will not be called to mind. Hope in His promises.

one can only imagine how much trauma and damage they have had to endure...

Big time. So incredibly powerful.

John 3:16.

As I read your message, I realized that I was reading my own. Everything is exact, down to the brother and sister, down to being close to Dad, down to being thousands of miles away, but on the way home, when I got the call that he’d died. My Mother is the same when it comes to “keeping up appearances.” I miss my Dad everyday. He died 10.5 years ago 1 week after my birthday. I’m sorry for your loss. Stay strong. It’s also ok to shed tears. ❤

Having a mother that is narcissistic and does not nurture her children causes life long damage

You are so right. Love is so crucial. If you don't get this from the persons who made you it's like the biggest betrayal. Who can you trust now? In my experience people can act in the most hateful and strange ways when people die. Usually has to do with money and greed. Vultures. They were probably trying to hide something from you who has a true and pure heart and would have seen through any sort of underhanded things may have been going on. My aunt who was dying of cancer asked me to come over to help her finish her obituary. Miraculously it was nowhere to be found! I was treated like crap by her estranged husband blaming me for not being there for her meanwhile we weren't even allowed off our street due to COVID lockdown and I was off work due to several serious illnesses myself. Pure poison. Hope to never see that man again. She put him out so she could maintain her sobriety. He had no respect for her recovery and took everything from the house to his own home and she didn't know any better as she was upstairs in a hospital bed. Never mind people who are rotten to you. Find people who appreciate you and see your worth. Stay around people who build you up instead of tearing you down. You are worth it. Please take care and never give up HOPE ❤

Such true words. Predators take advantage of vulnerability. No excuse for his behaviour. Even if he grew up in an abusive environment himself, there's no way he didn't know what he was doing was dead wrong but he CHOSE to torture her knowing she was so devoted to him. Heartbreaking. He was jealous of her beauty no doubt and wanted to bring her down to his level because secretly narcissists hate themselves but project that on others to make themselves feel better. Hateful way to go about life. This woman deserves the very best in life❤

@@tambourine36 Yes she deserves the very best.

@@tambourine36 Textbook NPD stuff, no doubt.

@@BAsed_AFro I agree. Makes my blood boil what he did to her and she was so desperate for him that she disrespected herself in the process. I really hope the best for her and that deep inside she finds her worth as a human being. I think she is definitely on the right road and has the potential to really help others. She's beautiful, smart, articulate, and commands an audience with her speaking ability. Would love to see her helping families who are struggling with kids dealing with BPD because they feel so lost and don't know how to help their kids. Thanks for responding. Cape Breton, NS Canada.

@@tambourine36 No doubt, and I agree. What's interesting is some of the best people that work in the fields of helping others overcome and work through such issues, often struggled with and/or went through the same. I mean, who knows the ins and outs better than someone that's lived through it?

Victim mentality from a young age is difficult to reverse unfortunately.

the midwest is hard

Definitely more to it that we will never know

She's leaving out the parts where she neglected her children.

Yep. When she recounted going through all of the social media, finding all Fs, and the school skipping, i immediately think Mara was neglected and lacking the true connection to her mother.

Projecting that victim mentality mentality on your child is just as damaging as physical abuse.

Please don’t give meds to children under 18. CBD and magnesium are natural alternatives with no side effects

@@flymetothemoon9541are you a doctor? No, so stop diagnosing random people online.

niki when did the world trade center collapsed in 01

@@rudyiraheta80 what?

I was depressed between the ages 13-20/21ish. It was far worse in the 13-17 age range. I’m 28 now and it’s completely gone, hopefully as your daughter gets into her early 20’s it starts to fade as well.