My Abusive Father Died || Complicated Experience with Death of an Abusive Parent || Autumn Beckman

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My Abusive Father Died || Complicated Experience with Death of an Abusive Parent || Autumn Beckman
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27 май 2024

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Комментарии : 490

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Full disclosure, I filmed this video a few days after my father died but am posting it a year later. Emotions were high at the time and I didn't want to post such sensitive content while in the middle of that. A year out, with time to process and more clarity, I hope sharing my experience will help others who are going through something similar...a very complicated mix of emotions for a situation not often discussed.

@valerieblouch5409 Месяц назад

Full disclosure. I also had a difficult childhood. My father had anger management issues and a violent temper. My mom was bi-polar. There were 4 kids, of which I was the second oldest. As the oldest daughter I was required to become my parent's caretakers and 'mom' for my siblings. I did mountains of laundry, cleaned the house, got groceries, planned & cooked meals and washed stacks of dishes. My Dad was a good provider, so we didn't have to deal with poverty. We did however deal with never measuring up and non existent emotional support. Thankfully my parents lived long enough for me to process, accept and own my reality. I stopped being ashamed of where I came from. I was proud of who I had become. A Phoenix rising from the ashes of chaos. Stories like ours are hard to live through and even harder to share. So proud of you. 💞

@Diane574 Месяц назад

♥️

@tiamarnie7323 Месяц назад

❤

@Intuition_malnutrition Месяц назад

❤

@millier.7694 Месяц назад

@@valerieblouch5409❤

@irishmarie9892 Месяц назад

Girl….the fact that you managed to deal with all that and still remain YOU is a testament to your character and will. You’re an inspiration, know that. 😊

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. I appreciate that. ❤️

@user-ws2td1fd1n Месяц назад

You have dealt with this whole situation in a very brave and intelligent way. Respect!

@roziongjoco-gomez3258 Месяц назад

You are so eloquent in explaining the whole situation. Although I have lost both my parents over 30 years ago, this video will be so helpful to others.. thank you

@Dancemom-hw2jt Месяц назад

Dealing with a narcissistic parent can be so difficult! You are such a strong woman.

@christineshugrue6601 Месяц назад

No matter what your current job … you are still a teacher .. teaching all of us about the hard choices and more

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

True. Education has always been one of my biggest interests. I started this channel to help educate people about bags they couldn't always see in person. Didn't realize I'd also end up talking about things like this. ❤️

@Jo-Mag Месяц назад

Agree!

@maikehudson333 Месяц назад

Sometimes relief is the only possible response to a person’s passing.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Indeed.

@DianeRS66 Месяц назад

My husband is an ER doctor. This situation is quite common (weekly). Many relatives choose to immediately refuse to do anything, and have the hospital take it to a judge. Hospitals have a lawyer for that and I am sorry that the social worker pressured you into this situation. You are a good and thoughtful person and every emotion you felt was that of a strong and stable person. I’m glad this chapter has closed for you and your mother and sister.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I'm not surprised that this is common. There was definitely pressure for me to make decisions instead of leaving it to the hospital. I don't know why they didn't offer a lawyer like you're saying. Thank you for your kind words. ❤️

@Diane574 Месяц назад

I tried to get away from her once, ran out the door, got halfway down the driveway but she was a lot bigger and stronger and she grabbed me by my clothes and dragged me back. My friends outside called the police, the police came and told me I was a “wayward girl.” In truth I was a goody two shoes. Thank goodness the authorities know more now than they did then. I was terrified of her, didn’t think I’d grow up to adulthood bc I was sure she would one day kill me. I made it out alive bc I ran away…long story. We, here, are so brave!

@spikesgirl04 Месяц назад

This is the call I’ve been expecting my 3 adult kids to get when their biological father finally drinks himself to death or OD’s. We haven’t seen or heard from him in almost 20 years. I know exactly the emotional response you are having and I understand completely your handling of the situation. I’m proud of you Autumn ♥️

@narelleparsons6745 Месяц назад

@@AutumnBeckmanIn Australia we have what's called the Guardianship Act to represent the impaired etc that cannot make decisions for themselves. The problem is the process takes time and by the sounds your dad's condition regarding treatment such as a filter was relatively urgent. Social workers are generally aware of how time crucial decisions need to be made. Our Medical Teams meet with Allied Health in circumstances like yours. As a nurse of several decades, I have witnessed the pressures that families go through. However, no one gets a practice run as to how to deal with these types of decisions. It is never easy as each situation will likely be different. You have handled the situation amazingly well.

@terrifromm5085 Месяц назад

Your father was your parent biologically and you owed him nothing. You had every right to turn your back on him. You have risen above this chapter and I commend you on your bravery and willingness to make a video about your father. I applaud you.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@annied3315 Месяц назад

I hope the year since his death has brought you peace and healing. The demons and lasting hurts of our childhood are brutal.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️ Those little demons pop up when you least expect them sometimes. Jerks.

@SethInNYC Месяц назад

Thank you for bravely sharing your experience. ❤ I think everyone, including those with stable and healthy childhoods, can learn so much from you.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Seth. I appreciate that and I hope so. ❤️

@charchar9085 Месяц назад

You're such a great story teller. My mom had a very difficult relationship with her mother who had a lot of mental health issues and attempted suicide many times before she eventually succeeded. 31yrs later and my mom still feels like her death is a relief.

@rot_10_dogs Месяц назад

I had a similar situation. I wasn’t happy about it but was relieved I didn’t have to deal with him ever again. And I did grieve. I grieved the life that should have been. Thank you for sharing this.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I'm sorry you went through something similar.

@erzebetb Месяц назад

YES! i understand completely. i left my toxic family 25 yrs ago and it saved my life. a freedom like no other. take care. warm hugs.

@shamrockgirl6595 Месяц назад

A nursing home called me as the firstborn when my abusive [sexually, physically, emotionally & spiritually] father was placed there. I understand completely what youve shared Autumn. My role became harder as his health declined. I was happy too when he passed.

@dawnlovescouture2644 Месяц назад

You made the best decision all around. No child should have endured what you had to. Put your mind at ease, Autumn. I’m glad no one is suffering anymore.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Dawn. You know, it's strange...growing up in that I didn't realize how far from normal it was because it was normal to me. I mean, I knew it wasn't normal (now I'm not making sense!) but it's taken decades to realize how really messed up and abusive his decisions and their consequences were to us all. And to this day, I have trouble recognizing if someone is on drugs because that behavior was completely normal to me.

@dawnlovescouture2644 Месяц назад

@@AutumnBeckman I understand. Working with kids from these kinds of home situations has made me see how it can be seen as normal because it’s all the kids have known.

@vickenator Месяц назад

@@AutumnBeckman It's interesting what we normalize based on what we see every day at home. I though it was normal that parents didn't hug or kiss each other, that the father would drop the landline phone on the ground after his call while he sat on the couch with the expectation that someone else would pick it up and hang it on the hook on the wall... that the father would toss the newspapers on the floor as he finished reading them, with the expectation that someone else will pick them up off the floor for us. That being praised by other adults for being so "well behaved" wasn't because we were just good kids, though we were, but was mainly borne of the fact that we knew not to piss our father off, that we were ingrained with fear about misbehaving. Normal is very funny word.

@bigbubba29 25 дней назад

You may not be a salaried teacher anymore, but you will always be a teacher. That will never leave you.

@rosieschweebie Месяц назад

Autumn, thank you for sharing your story . I told my mother that I was not sure if I will be going to my father's funeral once he dies. My mom raised all 6 of us by herself. The last time I saw my father was in 2015. I have forgiven him for abandoning us, but it is not good or healthy for me to continue to have any type of relationship with him. I do wish him well, and hopes he gets the professional help he needs.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I get it. Even when you want to reach out to be sure they're okay or to share something with them, you have to stop yourself because you know it won't end well for you. It stinks that their decisions take so much from us. I hope your father gets whatever help he needs, too, and that your mother understands how you feel and supports your choices.

@Diane574 Месяц назад

Good for you for being honest. I left my abusive mother as soon as I could and never regretted staying away from her and keeping my kids away. In this day and age she’d go to jail for a long time. I’m relieved she’s not around anymore. I applaud you. ♥️

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. And good for you for having the strength and wisdom to do that for yourself and your children! ❤️

@Diane574 Месяц назад

@@AutumnBeckman ♥️♥️♥️♥️

@lschultz3022 Месяц назад

I hope you have slept peacefully every night of the year between filming and posting this. You do not seem cold and callous, in fact your compassion for your mother, sister, self, and even him shines through. I never saw your 3 part video about your past but now I even further understand your love for beautiful things and the healthy, fanciful bit of escape that a love of luxury offers. Be happy.

@malaikamillions 2 дня назад

WOW and Thank You for sharing. I’m currently in a circumstance somewhat similar. It’s so difficult to simply give myself permission to Not give into pressure to go attend his death. He’s not cogent, so what’s the point. The trigger damage simply outweighs any chances of catharsis. It took me a week of roiling in guilt and grief before I could plainly state such fact (two days ago). So I am now just awaiting updates, in angst ridden anticipation of whatever emotional weather may roll in with the news of his passing. - I’ve had years to accept the disfunction, and let go, and “let bless”. It’s letting go of hope to restore some idealization that can be the greatest grief. I know that I’ll step on that rake of lack of resolution from time to time, but I also feel confident that I made every effort to act with dignity. - I feel so normal human by experiencing this video testimony. It’s the greatest gift. 🎁 ❤

@accessorygirlnyc Месяц назад

I’m so sorry for your nightmare. No one should have a parent like that. You are entitled to feel however you feel about his death. No one else has lived your life, so no one can speak for you.

@1971Brena 14 дней назад

15:15 ....you were just protecting yourself ❤🙏🏾

@ruthmclean5116 Месяц назад

My God Autumn! Your life reads like a made for tv movie only it’s real people that are involved, not actors. I have such respect for the way you handled this entire ordeal. Where you were able to find your strength is unimaginable but somehow you managed to find it. Two quotes come to mind: “Don’t worry about people God removed from your life. He heard conversations you didn’t. He saw things you couldn’t. He made moves you wouldn’t”. And… “I would rather adjust my life to your absence, then adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect “. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Fantastic quotes. Thank you. 🥰

@JustMonica402 Месяц назад

Autumn, I commend your courage to share your story. From what I am reading (through the comments) I see there are a lot of us who had abusive fathers/parents. I am one of them too. My father claimed to love me while he kept me from my Mother who wanted me, hid me with several relatives, couch hopped with him, witnessed his cocaine binges, drove with him on the wrong side of the freeway, tried leaving me in Tijuana after being distraught over losing his gf, watched him physically beat and verbally abuse my mother, and on and on. So, my father may not have physically abused me, but he certainly emotionally abused me. I say all of this to say, your story impacted me and makes me feel less guilty walking away from my own father who I haven’t had a relationship with since I was 11 years old. I did this most recently and for the life of me I cannot understand why he still plays the victim. So, thank you for sharing with us. I am glad you are at peace with everything and free from the burden of an abusive being. ❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry you went through that but glad you survived. It sounds incredibly difficult. It also sounds like you're 100% justified in cutting ties with him. The playing the victim routine is an attempt to manipulate you. He likely knows he's in the wrong.

@donnamosley7658 Месяц назад

Autumn, I truly understand what you went through and how you feel. I was thrown into paying for a funeral and handling all the business of a family member I was estranged from for over 10 years.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I'm sorry to hear that.

@sumis8096 Месяц назад

I feel I want to go back in time and give Little Autumn a big hug! I admire your strength so much 💛 thank you for sharing!

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Aww. Thank you.

@danielintheantipodes6741 Месяц назад

I had my own struggles in life but nothing that even remotely approaches such a situation. I feel for you. Glad you are able to know that none of this will ever happen again. Thank you for the video.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Daniel. There is a lot of relief in knowing we'll never have to deal with his antics again, though I do still get phone calls about him sometimes (like creditors looking for him) which is a little jarring.

@lindawright1028 Месяц назад

Dear Autumn, it’s amazing to me, listening to your story, how a man like your father could’ve ever produced a wonderful human being like you. The polar opposite of his existence is everything you are. I know you only from watching countless videos, but I can tell by the look in your face, that you have a level of compassion regardless of his abuse. Thank you for sharing, 🩷

@ShopStylebyme Месяц назад

I am in awe of your courage. I thank you for sharing because it will help a lot of other people open up and not feel alone💐

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@lesliecraven3087 Месяц назад

This helped me. I was in an abusive marriage for 18 years. I have always struggled with these feelings about my son’s father. My feelings are validated. Thank you

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Your feelings are definitely valid. I'm sorry you went through that.

@KimberlyFairchild58 Месяц назад

Very difficult series of events that one could not imagine. You handled this well and I’m sure others will gain insight, especially to leave instructions so family will not have such a burden at a difficult time. I know that’s not something a homeless addict would likely ever prepare, but even in “normal?”families these things get overlooked. Thank you for sharing

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

It is a really important thing. Paul and I got our medical papers in order in Texas but we still need to do it for Oregon. At least now we both know what the other wants. Thank you. ❤️

@Rholt1002 Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️

@sharonsmith583 Месяц назад

I'm so sorry! You are a strong lady!

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Sharon. ❤️

@kaitlinbeste Месяц назад

I'm glad you're talking about this. And I'm sorry you had to go through that. I

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Kaitlin. ❤️

@sloftin Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing this.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@recyclinrox Месяц назад

Thank you for being so open!

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you.

@lovelacole Месяц назад

Thank you for making this video! ❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thanks for watching. ❤️

@DaylesAddiction Месяц назад

I think this is a great video Autumn, what a tough period to go through with such strength and stoicism!

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Dayle. It was also right at the end of the most stressful school year of my life. I'm doing a video next week where I discuss some of that. Last year was piles and piles of difficult things and this was an especially tough (and unexpected) one to end that period.

@mjthegray Месяц назад

Your compassion is strong and thank you for sharing this with us. Sometimes time is what it takes to share with others your troubling times. I understand that burden to deal with someone with addiction, and it is painful to come to terms and find out that you are responsible for them at some point in life. Your family enduring abuse and the harassment that followed is unfair and sad. I’m sure you are feeling a level of relief you didn’t know you could experience as they approached death. You are not callous, cold etc… you are caring, thoughtful, compassionate and human. I hope you have no regrets in how you navigated this and that this brings relief, peace, and joyful days to come with your living relatives that you cherish and love ❤❤❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Yes, relief is not what I was expecting but it's certainly a huge part of what I've felt. Thank you for your kind words. We have certainly (and consciously) made a lot of great memories in the 20 years since we physically escaped living in the same space as my father. ❤️

@MrRogersTrolley Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing. This video is incredibly validating to many and I think we need to hear more personal accounts like yours. You and your sister deserved so much better. Best wishes to you and your family. I hope you continue to walk forward, full of peace, untethered. ❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@antigoniwoodland Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing your story. It is helpful to those of us who grew up in an abusive environment to realize we are not alone and others can understand our struggles. It’s a conversation we need to be having and I thank you for your contribution. And I am sorry you had to go through all of that. But I think you handled yourself very well. ❤️

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you and I'm sorry you went through what you went through, too. ❤️

@joycehanshaw4310 Месяц назад

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@pamchamberlin6703 Месяц назад

That was hard! Hugs Autumn ❤️

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Pam. ❤️

@nickjsne Месяц назад

Your strength and resolve are incredible Autumn ! Thank you for sharing and for being so open with us ❤️

@Mirella_MtOlympia Месяц назад

Autumn, thank you for sharing!♥

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you.

@ginkat1318 Месяц назад

Very profound. Thank you for sharing your story

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️

@ponayotadoufexis-lammon7712 Месяц назад

Very brave Autumn to share this story. I remember when he died and I think you were wise to give this some time. I think this video will help many people. XOXO

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Yota. I hope it does. ❤️

@lauraeichler611 Месяц назад

That’s a lot! Wow! Glad your are done with all the emotional abuse!🙏🏻🙏🏻💕

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. Me too, though effects of it still last and pop up sometimes. ❤️

@lauraC1082 Месяц назад

Autumn Thank you for sharing your story! Not an easy one to tell, with grace and dignity you did.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Laura. I appreciate that. ❤️

@Flowcasso Месяц назад

You are a strong, resilient, compassionate woman. You made it out of that incredibly difficult time in your life, and instead of closing the final chapter and moving on, you’ve decided to open up your life story; To help others who may be going through similar challenges. I can tell this was difficult for you, but it truly shows your heart. My hope for you is that you are truly able to move on and to live your absolute best life. You deserve all the wonderful things in store for you. ❤

@MasterYoda55555 Месяц назад

Very proud of you Autumn. Thanks for sharing your story and journey !

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️

@Grigore360 Месяц назад

Thank you so much for sharing your story and honest thoughts/feelings about this.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️

@thurayyakey9504 Месяц назад

Wow🥺I completely understand. I, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for sharing your story. I never watched your channel before and this popped up on my feed. I always secretly felt like a monster for feeling relief that I didn’t have to be afraid anymore.❤

@Elle-pq3qi Месяц назад

Autumn, i really admire your strength and wisdom in this very difficult situation. Thanks for sharing.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@valrice817 Месяц назад

Autumn, thank you for sharing your story! ❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️

@ms_cartographer Месяц назад

I really admire your strength and your resilience. You are thriving, and I am so thrilled! ❤

@breezyvibe Месяц назад

Great video!! I had no idea about your family. You more than overcame it.

@mariasancheziloveVtgCoach Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing your story.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you.

@katrinab9131 Месяц назад

Thanks for sharing, Autumn. Glad you can close this chapter. Best of luck from Ohio.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@beacuz Месяц назад

Autumn thank you for sharing

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️

@DeeDee_Bean Месяц назад

Autumn, I’m so proud of the bravery you have shown and the selfless acts you chose to do for him. I hope in time the inner child in you can find some relief and guilt free peace of all the decisions you had to make that no child should have to make after enduring such a difficult childhood. Thank you for for brave and being true to you. Blessing Dee Dee

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, DeeDee. :)

@tashahartman38 Месяц назад

I did watch your videos along time ago and was definitely shocked to hear all you had been through especially in your childhood. Kudos to you for being able to put your differences aside for that short time long enough to try and make the best medical decisions you could for your father. ❤❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you.

@marilynrich Месяц назад

I’m glad you are well. Hugs ❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️

@corikay Месяц назад

Wow! I remember watching those original videos and was always so impressed that you truly made such a wonderful life for yourself! And now to hear the story of the recent events makes me even more excited and proud for you and your attitude. While I am blessed that I am not affected by these issues, I absolutely know that your voice and video will help someone!!! I feel very fortunate to be subscribed to your channel!!!!🥰💖

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@carlosperaltamx Месяц назад

damn.... Im going through a very similar situation and I understand you. thank you for sharing

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I'm sorry you're going through something like this, too.

@hrh_nurseady Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing this, Autumn. We have a very very similar situation. This is what I needed to hear, that I am not alone.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I'm sorry you're going through something like this, too.

@stephanieremsen8564 Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad your family has the peace you all so richly deserve.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Stephanie. ❤️

@natasha83196 Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing this. I have a VERY similar story and my father died almost 10 years ago. I am praying for your healing and your grieving process, which will be complicated by the dynamic of your relationship with him. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you and I'm sorry you went through that.

@marlenewagner4365 Месяц назад

Hugs to you Autumn for sharing this story with us! There will be many of us who can relate to what you have shared. There should be no guilt or shame in purging ourselves from the toxic people in our lives. You and your family are now completely free and the relief of knowing that you made it to the other side is worth celebrating. Kudos to you, your sister and mom for having the strength to make the hard decisions along the way for your own sanity and survival. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to take us on this journey with you-it will help others along the way for sure!

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. I appreciate it. :)

@vickyl1010 Месяц назад

You are so mature. I'm proud of your growth. No judgement. Thank you for talking about this.💕

@MontaukDaisy13 Месяц назад

Thanks for sharing. Sorry you went through this. This will help lots of people going throiugh the same or similar situation. Most people don't want to talk about things like this, but it's a part of life, and you had the courage to do so and I really admire you for that!

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@SuzWhat Месяц назад

You are very brave and strong. Peace and Love...Suz What ☮️💛

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you, Suz. ❤️

@arlettevanhoesel1181 Месяц назад

Proud of you!Lots of love from Holland ❤❤❤❤❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@megtrewhitt9623 Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing. I am glad that you had the social worker available to talk things through with. I wish the palliative medicine would have been offered to help with perspective. It is frustrating to make these very difficult decisions only to have health care providers come back and say they are improving. When the improvements do not change the big picture. Hospice IS care, the focus is just different. This must have been last year, glad you can have peace.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

The social worker was great. It really helped being able to talk to her. Thank you.

@somuchdesignwithhanne Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing your story, you have been through more than one person should ever have to deal with and you have broken the abusive chains. Thank you for wanting to help others do the same. Dealing with end of life decisions as a relative is exceedingly difficult and confusing, I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you given your situation - you are an inspiration 💕

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. I appreciate it.

@mimijoy100 Месяц назад

Hi Autumn, thank you for your video. As a wife and mother of adult children that are also dealing with a similar situation I appreciate your sharing this story. Sounds like you showed as much compassion as necessary in your situation. May God bless you and keep you strong.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :) I'm sorry you're dealing with something similar.

@diannewi Месяц назад

Thank you, Autumn. You've shared a powerful message that will help many.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@janejdough2230 Месяц назад

I appreciate your candor

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️ I love your RU-vid name. 😉

@BarbC1 Месяц назад

Autumn: I watched the videos about your father when I first discovered your channel. I remember the video that you disclosed his death. I think the fact that you didn't hang up on the hospital and block the number shows great compassion. The best relationships are complicated but abusive situations by a person who is supposed to love you unconditionally is incomprehensible to me. You are so strong to have risen above such a difficult childhood to become the wonderful person you are today. I'm happy that you, your mom and your sister seem to have built successful, happy lives. It was brave of you to share the whole story from beginning to end. I have no doubt it will help many people. Warm Regards and Deep Respect.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. I do hope there are people who find it helpful. I did try to avoid the situation but ultimately I suppose I'm glad I agreed to make decisions. Thank you for your kind words. ❤️

@PurpleBeesKnees Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing something so difficult and personal in an effort to help and comfort others. I'm sorry you and your sister and your mother went through all that you did. You have accomplished so much in your life -- you are well-educated, a teacher who positively affected children, happily married despite what you witnessed as a child, and now a youtuber who brings people a lot of pleasure through your videos. I hope you feel pride in your accomplishments and continue to be a source of positivity in the world. 💜

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. It's taken longer than it does for the average person but I have come a very long way from where I started and I do take time every now and then to reflect on that. I always want to push myself farther, though. :)

@wens525 Месяц назад

Dear Autumn, thank you so much for sharing this story. You are an amazing woman, you are inspirational and courageous. Ps I love all your videos. ❤

@theslumkitty Месяц назад

Oh boy, we have so much to talk about and share. Bless the DNR. Love you.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Indeed!

@critic101ism Месяц назад

I went through a very similar situation with my father. How brave of you to tell your story! I also struggled very much with the decisions I had to make so it is unfortunate to say, but thank you for that, although your story triggered a lot of emotions again for me, it also made me realize how others have had to deal with this as well. Once again, thank you 🙏

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Apologies that it was triggering. I get it, though. Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry you went through that.

@Intuition_malnutrition Месяц назад

I remember your videos, I'm so sorry you and your sister and Mom had to go through all of that. I'm happy you have made such a wonderful life for yourself ❤ Very brave of you to make this video to help others and I have no doubt that you have.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@bbhdd6181 Месяц назад

You are freaking awesome honestly. I'm currently caring for my wonderful mum who has cancer, but my dad is doing absolutely nothing (and they are divorcing due to his abuse escalating when she was diagnosed and he is doing everything in his power to strip her of all her finances (which he explicitly told me)). It feels sadistic of me that when he gets ill, I am glad I won't be there for him in the same way after the lifetime of abuse he put the two of us through. It's difficult to admit but, it is what it is. I appreciate you so much for uploading this because it is such a taboo subject and I've never really discussed it with anyone before.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I helped care for my grandparents toward the end of their lives. Care giving is tough. I hope you're doing okay and have outlets to take breaks from it.

@rosahinson2166 Месяц назад

Wow Autumn. I thought you had decided not to post this video. Unfortunately there are many people who have to go through the same situation as you. It’s terrible that people don’t take end of life matters into their own hands so that their next of kin don’t have to make these decisions. Thanks for being brave enough to share your experience as I’m sure it will help others.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. I wasn't sure whether to post it. I knew I shouldn't post it right away because emotions were too raw. I needed time to process first. I'm still not sure whether posting it is the right thing but I do so in hopes of it helping someone who might be going through a similar situation. It's probably more common than we realize but people don't talk about it. I want people to know it's okay to have complicated emotions that don't align with what people might think you should feel for someone you're supposed to love. Given his situation - being homeless for about 20 years - he didn't have the resources to put plans in place. I know for a while he had a note in his wallet with my phone number as his emergency contact. Not sure what happened to that since it took the hospital so long to find me.

@Jessiestyle Месяц назад

Thanks so much Autumn for sharing this part of your life. Your experience and how you rose above it, is extremely inspiring to me. It also gives hope to those in very tough situations, that it is possible to come out the other side. I hope you are doing well and are having a happy time, whatever path you have chosen ; career wise or whether you are taking it easy.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@_LikePersephone Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you nothing but happiness and healing.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@AliciaDeLaTorrefilmteacher Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing. Many of us have similar stories and complicated emotions.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I'm sorry that do many people do but knowing that is why I made this video. Thank you. ❤️

@johnle3389 Месяц назад

Now THIS is a conversation that needs to be had. Thanks for using your platform and your voice!

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@makeupnmedicine Месяц назад

It takes a lot of strength and fortitude to do what you did. I work in healthcare and we see it all, and I’m glad the hospital team was so great taking care of him. I’ve been watching your videos as long as you’ve been on RU-vid (I think!) and heard about the dad stuff through the years. Totally get it.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

He was at one of the Memorial Hermann branches in Houston. They're fantastic. Paul was a respiratory therapist in the neonatal ICU at Memorial Hermann Childrens in the Texas Medical Center. He has stories too, as you can imagine.

@Solacefoundandcurated Месяц назад

Have a similar experience with some family right now and i totally understand your feelings. My grandma finally passed at age 100 just before mother’s day a few weeks ago. My uncle reached out to fight with me. but, i will not let him steal any of my joy. Hugs, Autumn. Thank you for sharing this real experience.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I hope your uncle will come to realize that you each have the right to feel the way you feel about whatever happened. He doesn't get to dictate that for you. Best wishes to you. ❤️

@organiccher64 Месяц назад

Thank you for your story...I'm impressed by your honesty about your feelings throughout the whole ordeal..blessings to you.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. ❤️

@lorid.752 Месяц назад

One of the things I love about watching you is you always seem to do thorough research and are very intentional with decisions. The opposite of me, you pay particular attention to every detail. I have no doubt that you approached this situation in the best way possible, no matter what kind of person he was. I commend you for that (I know you don't need to hear that) and I think that will give you great peace and closure.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I am very research and detail oriented, for sure. Thank you. :)

@carolynwilson7806 Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing your story because I believe it will help a lot of people, either directly or indirectly. You are incredibly strong and intelligent and deserve peace.

@jenny881283 Месяц назад

Thank you for sharing this. You are definitely a better daughter than I would of been to a father like that. Who knows whats his demons were but I hope he is resting in peace. I'm so happy that you, your sister and mom can finally have some peace. I wish you all peace, happiness, health and long lives. ❤

@deborahconkle6822 10 дней назад

My story isn’t all the same as yours. That said I am so appreciative that you have shared it. My childhood was turbulent,although I don’t think quite the same as yours. I am going to say I am sorry you went through all that came your way. I can say that because I appreciate when those I love acknowledge me. I remember when my dad passed I happened to be at the hospital and it was both a peaceful time and a confusing moment. I won’t go into the details.(my writing is rambled). The thing I remember the most is wanting to see and hold my Dad’s hand. I remember saying to him,I love you Dad and wish things were different. The thing is,they weren’t. I pray peace to all who had or are having a hard time in childhood and carrying the baggage that can be really heavy. I do want to say that the next Father’s Day was surprisingly easy. And not because I didn’t love my dad,but because I didn’t have to say things I didn’t feel in all the greeting cards. Sad,but freeing. Thank you for making this video. ❤

@pasitheathanatosasmr488 Месяц назад

I can’t watch this because it’s hard for me personally, but I liked it and skipped to the end in the hopes that it helps your algorithm. Thanks

@janmauro282 Месяц назад

Hi Autumn. I totally understand, we all have difficult times occur throughout our lifetime. I believe you did everything the best you could, because that is who you are. Thank you for trying to help others who may also dealing with difficult decisions. Jan.

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Everyone definitely has their own struggles. Mine are worse than some but much less than many others. The cards life deals us can be really unfair but everyone has choices on what to do afterward.

@kaylheecarroll3186 Месяц назад

We appreciate your transparency and your very brave to tell us and we support you ❤️!!

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)

@kaylheecarroll3186 Месяц назад

@@AutumnBeckman your welcome

@josettechrystall9290 Месяц назад

Girl… so much of this story mirrors my life my story. I hear you. All of it. I’m glad you shared your story. ❤❤❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

I'm sorry you've had those experiences, too.

@brendabolt286 Месяц назад

Hi Autumn, thank you for being YOU and taking control of your own life. Life is hard enough without all the extras….. I’m glad that you, your mom and sister are ok. You are a strong woman and you deserve the best in life!❤❤❤

@AutumnBeckman Месяц назад

Thank you. :)