My DM Thinks Turn-Based Combat Isn't A Game Mechanic, But Something We Do | Narrated D&D Story 

I'm a little distressed that that first DM doesn't know that a turn only lasts 6 seconds. If that golem never ends its turn, time isn't moving and no one is in danger moving

That first DM is so dumb I wouldn't even allow them as a player at my table after that let alone run a campaign

JUSTICE

"Nappa what are you doing?" "It's his turn Vegeta, I have to wait for him."

Even in turn-based combat, we scream over each other like wild animals.

Roll a warforged rogue with alert and as many bonuses to initiative , split from party, start combat with the king. Refuse to take your turn, causing all the soldiers and king to stand there paralysed for eternity while you do not age.

I love the idea of satirizing/flipping tropes on their heads, particularly when it's executed creatively and as flavor to the game, but turning the golem into a plagiarized sans to negate a player's agency as in the first story here is beyond whack lol. Glad to see more uploads allthingsdnd, hope everything has been well for you ❤

How do you role death saves if it’s not your turn?

Skipping your turn being a trap is absurd like wtf

“I don’t believe it so it’s not real!” “That’s cool, but you’re not the storyteller so it’s not real for you but still real for everyone else.”

This Golem story makes me sort of want to introduce a construct enemy to my players who does nothing but sit and think on his turn. Players shrug and attack him, and the golem complains that he hasn’t taken his turn yet. I clarify that this golem is just behaving weirdly and the players can do whatever they want.

dude literally watched a lot of those mobile game ads and thought bragging about IQ is the same as those ads about mobile players entering a restaurant or cutting in line because they got more power in Rise of Kingdoms or some shit

One of my favorite DMs in a theater of the mind style game used to have everyone, in reverse initiative order, describe what their characters do, then have it all happen at once. So those who won initiative got to react to what the other characters and enemies did. It worked really well in his games, but I've never been able to pull off the same style

I would have looked at him and just said: You are not sans.... This isn't a case of the storyteller not realizing turn based combat is a mechanic, it is a story of someone poorly ripping off Undertale.

Ok, I would just like to say that these type of groups that force acceptance on the majority ultimately hurt the the people they are trying to help by, in fact, encouraging behavior that should NEVER be allowed. Society has to draw the line somewhere! What these groups do instead should be to help teach appropriate behavior to help the child adapt. We ALL have obstacles to overcome, and we all have a responsibility to overcome those obstacles.

I feel the need to throw this out there for the first dm “who do you think you are? Sans undertale?”

Skeptic kinda reminds me of a quote from the Greatest Showmen. James Bennett: “Tell me, Mr. Barnum, does it bother you that everything you're selling is fake?” P.T. Barnum: “Do these smiles seem fake? It doesn't matter where they come from. The joy is real.” I get he probably just wanted to feel secure and his intelligence was a way of doing that, but had he just took a step back he might’ve seen that to others fun wasn’t about being smart and realistic. Just enjoying what’s right in front of you.

I could see the turn based thing working if it was set on a magical board game, like the player wandered onto a living chess board that held enchantments to force people to follow the rules until the end of the game.

Bragging about an IQ that if I remember correctly is only a handle of points above average is the wildest shit ever

By the gods, I *want* the Skeptic story to be fake, but I've known enough people close to that to know it's at least happened once. And honestly, the mom just backing everything up when she HAS to know how much of that kid's routine is bullshit is verging on abusive. Just setting up Skeptic for a LIFETIME of misery. It's honestly depressing. But what's funny is that if he had been even just a LITTLE more of a team player, it would absolutely make for great stories to have this nigh-delusional science bro trying to grapple with magic but ALSO giving him the occasional win with a Scooby Doo plot. Something where people were FAKING supernatural stuff as part of a ploy. Have his science know-how come in clutch alongside these heroes of legend.

Story 1: If you don’t do anything on your turn and time is still passing, that means you skip your turn and it goes to the next persons turn in initiative. Story 2: It is dangerous to force people to let others in their group, if they are uncomfortable with it. This just teaches them that their feelings don’t matter, because of someone else’s feelings. This is how abusers and victims are created. Acceptance and tolerance is important, but there are limits and exceptions to this. If an entire group of people is unhappy with the actions and statements of one person, they have every right to exclude that person.

A turn in which the character does nothing is still only one turn. Delaying your action doesn't affect anyone's else's action economy. 'I am the smartest, therefore I'm always right', insists the person who demonstrably doesn't understand what _fiction_ is, meaning they lack a cognitive ability the average four-year-old has.

The second story, I don't know if Sceptic realised that boasting about a 118 IQ is like being super proud of getting a C+ grade, it's okay but not impressive.

"They believed he was entirely at fault but we still need to apologize and cater to his whims" Uhh... No. How about no? Like... No. That's not how things work. If he doesn't like how the rest of us are playing, he doesn't need to be there. He's welcome to play with the group, but he has no right to dictate how the game is played to the detriment of everyone else. If he doesn't want to play the game being played, then he can find another game. I took an IQ test when I was in middle school. Obviously not my idea, the school wanted to know. They wouldn't tell me the results, but apparently they were impressed. They actually wanted to put me in a gifted program, but I declined. Kinda wish I hadn't in retrospect, but here we are. Point is, I completely understand why they don't tell the kid the results. If it's low, that can damage their self-esteem. If it's high, that can result in shit like THIS. Kid gets a swelled head, and thinks he's better than everyone else. There's a reason INT and WIS are two different stats. Besides, those tests are bullshit most of the time anyway. Mine was at least administered by a licensed psychologist. And I'm pretty sure they don't measure what most people think they do.

I won't end my turn, therefore you can't take yours. That makes no sense....

Perfect story. Destroyed that wretched players life with his own hands. Including everyone is a noble sentiment but not everyone fits in everywhere for personal, factual or emotional reasons. Some people just need to find their place elsware. There will be a group this guy can join somewhere and more then likely he will only find it after he's sorted out his horrible personality. But until then it's idiotic to force 2 pieces together that don't fit. Especially if one piece won't learn to be better because others have to become worse to fit with them

Dude's so smart he needs his mommy to help him out every time. 😂

These 'inclusive-at-any-cost' places sound like hell. Once an a-hole joins, your best move is to leave, until the a-hole leaves or maybe forever. Wew.

I would have to say that skeptic definitely got what they deserved. I don’t like it when players get too full of themselves there truly is a difference between being smart and playing smart.

"How? it's quite simple really. You see, Skeptic, you think you got me all figured but there's one thing, you didn't account for: my numbers, are bigger that yours"

I actually have a method for simultaneous (game time) turns, that works. at initiative,there's a 2 minute egg timer. Hand in a note with your plan for your PC before the timer runs out. You can waste time discussing and arguing if you want, the timer is running. Notes not turned in on time = the PC is confused. at the same time the players write their notes, the DM writes the plans for each creature in the encounter. (I do this on a dry erase whiteboard made for the fridge... for up to 20 creatures in 2 minutes.) Resolve the notes in turn order. I ran a 9 player campaign for 3.5 years using this method. Combat rounds go FAST. There's no opportunity for "rules lawyer" or "Optimizer" to take over the other players' PCs. There just isn't time. They try it once and their PC is standing confused. They don't like that... Too bad.

You got undertales'ed

The first story is just a story of a GM that doesn't know how combat works and most likely didn't actually care if the players where having fun, because as a GM myself, to do what they did just wouldn't be fun for anyone.

As a autistic parent of autistic teenagers…. Oh hell no. And my son actually flipped a solid oak conference table at 10.

Seen this story before and argued the 6 second turn then. Also if DM wanted the rules to work like this I'd reroll a character and next combat say "I do nothing forever" never end my turn therefore bad guys plans can never be completed and everyone lives- the world is frozen forever as I don't end my turn

Be careful for what you wish for, this bad player learned this lesson the hard way. He wanted a realistic session, well he got it!

"Can we fight now? Boo is not used to this taking of turns."

That first story is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. As for the second, fantasy and magic are cool as hell. Being smart doesn’t mean you always know better and you definitely don’t know everything. Another part of intelligence is recognizing your shortcomings. Also, IQ is not a very good intelligence measurement, and it’s hilarious that kid was bragging about a just barely above average IQ.

Dang, that guy sure seems to think smart people dont believe in god, hes gonna go crazy when he realizes its pretty much an even spit between believers and non believers when it comes to scientists, and that that split is also pretty historic Hawking didn't, Einstein did, Bacon did, Darwin didn't up until about the end, I'm not sure on that one but still. Many have many haven't, I do and its not really a defining factor in intelligence either way. It doesn't make me smarter than those who don't, I mean, I might be in some cases but its not because i have faith. Besides, pushing your beliefs on people in a fantasy game is objectively stupid, it's fantasy.

the 2nd story baffles me the whole point of d&d is to suspend your disbelief so you can enjoy the game.

In all honesty the bs with skeptic and his comeuppance was completely well deserved, personally I would never compromise my other players enjoyment just to satisfy some A holes over inflated ego

.. that first story the campaign would end right there. Cause that's just dumb. If it stopped its action the turn is done.

As an Italian, I accept Besanzio as our new King... surely he will be better than any of the "prince" pretending to be descendant of our last king

Speaking of the Turn Based GM, having my first experiences with RPGs being things like old school Final Fantasy (NES and SNES) and such, where combat literally is expressed in turns where all participants on both sides just stand there patiently waiting their "turn" i struggled at first with turn based combat in D&D. I wondered why everyone would just stand there and wait their turn!😅 But i did at least know that if someone chose to not do anything it didn't put everyone else on pause, it just meant they skipped THEIR OWN turn. It was a few years later that it dawned on me that everything in a round was all happening within the SAME 6 seconds and thus all at once, and that even in FF this was meant to be assumed as happening. Now as to Skeptic. I had a "neuro divergent" player in my group a couple years back. He was with our group for about 2 years...maybe 3? Anyway, his antics eventually wore our patience too thin and memebers of the group were privately expressing to me their desires ti leave. I had to ask him to leave the group and i basically told him "We understand that you are on the spectrum and that you don't perceive or process social ques the same way everyone else does. But you can't expect us to just keep putting up with how you act and the way you say things to people and then you just get to keep saying 'I didn't mean it, I'm neuro divergent' as some permanent get-out-of-jail-free card. You've been spoken to about this on a few occasions before and nothing has changed. I gotta ask you to leave the group before the whole group falls apart." Now this guy wasn't anything nearly as bad as Skeptic in the story is described, but still, same basic principle. You absolutely can...and you absolutely SHOULD!...put your foot down with people who are "neuro divergent"!

0:00 😂 I remember commenting on this on Reddit

so, i'm guessing the second story takes place in a nut house? That's pretty much the only place i can think of that operates the way they describe.

Doing nothing does not mean that time stands still, the DM's character is still doing something: he's doing nothing. I'd be repeatedly asking the DM "does [character] do anything?" If the DM says "no": then I proceed to take my turn as usual. If the DM doesn't say anything: "I'll take that as a 'no'." and then proceed to my turn. - "Hey, you can't do that!" - "Is [character] doing anything?" - "No, but-" - "Then they obviously have something fiendishly clever planned, like some form of combat cross-counter move, and I'm not taking the bait."

oh geez that problem player is just... wow... the entire point of playing a fantasy game is to pretend something that isn't real is real...

I wish I could meet people that awesome. The only fellow autistic people I've met have been convinced that being vindictive to people that insult you and then lie about you is pointless and doesn't actually yield any positive results. Is there a place I can go to to find out if a place like this exists near where I live? I'm tired of paying nearly $40 a week to play online with people nothing like me, half of which live on the other side of the country.

Wow... they nuked him from orbit in that second story, and then followed that up with a nice dash of Death Star cannon to obliterate the Flat Earth he lived upon... 🤣🤣

Be a warlock take a short rest every turn. If a spell says it takes ten minutes to cast have your friend take ten minutes on his turn.

I love the "genius" keeping his IQ test results on hand, and then they turn out to be 118. That's just above average (average being 85-114), and not even close to genius, which is usually around 160. If his mom didn't pamper him like that and had been honest about his intelligence, he could have had more contentment and friends.

Jesus Christ, were you playing with Eric Cartman?

I took an IQ test, but it was probably a lie since it was on a video game website, I still remember it, but since IQ means nothing and i'm an idiot anyway I tend not to mention it.

Typical pampered little crybabies allways get there wsy...

That first story was really dumb of the DM, sounds like he needs to read the rule books.

I have take player out of group by call his mom and show his mom video on my phone

Am i the only one who is annoyed that the thumbnail and title story is two minutes long.

I'm tired of stupid people playing this game.

DM tried to pull a Sans with the Golem. 😂 Not how that works.

If a fantasy game gets rid of all fantasy elements, is it really a fantasy game anymore? 😂

God darn it this video made me google what the popper paradox was XD

I find it ironic that Sheldon from BBT, who is made to be Satire coated in Satire, would retort and rightfully so at how "Skeptic" can't use their imagination during a DnD game.

That first DM is running entirely on video game logic. If you, in any tabletop game, decide to do nothing, then we don't wait in real time for something to change, we just skip you!

I think the DM in the first story took Undertale's Sans fight a little too literal.

Interesting story but I need more info on the first one. The second was a good horror story of ttrpg but I need more on the first story.

I'm an Atheist but even I have characters who use magic even though I don't believe magic is real. That's the whole point of fantasy. It doesn't have to be real. Granted I do like SOME realism. Magic without limits can be exceptionally boring when you can essentially do anything you want without any conciquences. But as long as it's not breaking the established rules of the fantasy setting it is realistic within the canon of that universe. I hate when people either try to claim that realism isn't important at all because it's fantasy or want everything to be 100% realistic when really you need to strike a balance between realism and fantasy to make the story fun and engaging. Realism should only be used to make the characters feel like real people and not to limit what they can do or be in the story. It should be a way of making the dangers feel challeging despite the fantasy elements not an excuse to ruin the fantasy. Like wise the fantasy elements should be to do things you can't do in real life otherwise what's the point? Fantasy shouldn't be exactly like real life that's boring. Just don't make a character so over powered that nothing is a challenge cause that's also boring. It's fantasy, nothing is real, is not an excuse to have no realistic boundaries. You have to have a balance between realism and fantasy. Realism in a famtasy setting does not meant you can't do things because they aren't possible in real life, it means you can't do things because they aren't possible within the boundaries of the fantasy.

24:47 😂 lol Mr 118IQ was out there playing checkers whilst Mr 142IQ was playing 3D chess

So, by the first DM's logic, you could make a character guaranteed to go first in initiative and then just wait the rest of the session, barring all other characters from acting? I'd do it just to see how long they would keep to that line of reasoning, beforely bailing after amd trying to recruit any promising players to another group/game.

(1st Story): What was he trying to do, treat this like Undertale? That's a sucky DM.

YIRBEL LIVES 8:49 that was exactly what I was thinking of! Holy hell this guy sounds abundantly awful!

I HATE it when autism or any diagnose is used as an excuse to be a total dickwad. I like to reason the other way around, playing make belief, making up a story, weighing implications, imagining scenario's that don't exist and all that jazz you do when playing TTRPG's and doing those things well requires intelligence. People with autism aren't more intelligent on average, they're often very inflexible, lack imagination and fail to see different perspectives. And I know that because i've been diagnosed with autism at 18 and were in the same kind of groups. I'm glad I'm away from all that.

DND pro tip:... "don't invite d-bags back... Their player- character always has "accidentally" fallen down a giant set of stairs." It's not worth the bad experience and DM can always adjust encounters.

Skepdickhead really deserve that good job to the players for banding together

Honestly, with a player like that, I would've just taken my players and left that organization

7:44 is the perfect time to apply that meme with the blue haired girl telling the table that its too hard, and the other players say that its always how they played it, then the blue haired girl outbursts "why are you excluding meee" 😂

For the first DM… Yeah a turn being 6 seconds is a big deal you shouldn’t ignore that part of the dmg lol. Also because a turn is only 6 seconds that means you would have literally 100 turns to kill that golem before the timer went off. IMO that’s not GM discretion those are core game mechanics.

There is a reason people become dms they have the ability to master work a plan in to perfection and if you make a good dm your enemy be careful what you wish for

The fun part is ..combat ..and etc it's all a hard toss kuz most of the party is bat shyt ..and also well versed so never know what will happen lol

I saw this one in the wild. Player should play a Warforged who pulls the same trick, making all enemies die of thirst after three days. Or just die of starvation, exposure, what have you.

Dude just pulled a Sans simply to kill a character?

Finally, a longer video. I missed these.

First story sounds like they wanted to recreate San's final fight, but in a situation where it lacked any of the emotional weight.

Why would you even want to play a fantasy game if you're going to complain about the fantasy elements?

Seriously? Who was the first story even for? It's obvious the second story was the actual content you wanted to share.

actively cringing even just at the start of the second story. This kind of stance on "inclusivity" is so hecking stupid its not inclusivity if including one person means excluding or hindering everyone else.

Nah, people screaming in turned based too, it is called children

Dm tries to sneak an undertale reference and fails.

Did the dm just really wanna do a sans reference? Wait was it a sans reference?!

The satisfaction of the second story is beautiful 😍

When inclusiveness gives way to spinelessness

The ending, unfortunately, sounds to good to be true.

1st story, if nobody does anything than combat has ended. Lol

First story sounds like a toxic DM

Omg Sheldon joined their group.

Simultaneous combat does exist in some games.

There is no way that first story ended like that

Why is the plot hook story only 2 minutes of the video?

This is why "inclusion" is always supper not inclusive. Skeptic should have just been egnored. Let his character do what ever he likes, and continue the real game with the other players

Fair is fair and it realty people don't like a-holes