Sophie Ottaway found out by accident at the age of 22 that he’d been born a boy and had his gender changed by doctors when he was just two days old. Now 37, he talks to Aasmah Mir and Stig Abell on Times Radio Breakfast about the psychological impact it’s had on his life - the pain he’s dealt with, and the answers he’s gained.
Transphobes say that transgender children should be denied gender-affirming care, and should instead be forcibly subjected to the kind of "conversion therapy" which Sophie Ottaway and David Reimer were abused with, which made Sophie's life so miserable and which literally drove David to his death.
It's weird I always thought that something like this happened to me as a baby because there was so much secrecy around my birth. I tortured myself for years wondering about why there was such secrecy and what it was and perhaps it could be something like this. This was as a preteen and teenager. 60 years later I find out that I was adopted and that was what the secrecy was all about. If only they had not been secretive I might not have been so tortured. Don't keep secrets from your children because it makes them doubt themselves😱
I fully agree. I’m commenting because I want your comment to rise up to the top of the page so more people see it. The psychological damage and anguish a person experiences from having been lied to by their parents runs through their whole life & existence. I’m sorry you were lied to. So was I. Like you, I discovered something accidentally and the truth is still not talked about in my family. It has wrecked me, so matter how I work on it - and I have tried. How Sophie is so OK with it all staggers me. They had the doctors do what they did to save their child’s life. But keeping that huge truth from Sophie - I wouldn’t even know how to begin forgiving that.
@@lisabeaumont Yes there needs to be a law for the state to reveal those things at least by the age of 18. That way parents have a chance to tell their child during their teenage age just before the state does
Yes. Not only do enormous secrets like this almost always come out eventually, there's no accounting for the sort of deeper layers of knowing that a person has, whether it's subconscious, or at a soul level, or whatever -- We know things even if we're not conscious of knowing them. It's a horrific mistake to keep something like this secret. It severely damages, or even destroys lives.
There was a sort of mindset many years ago that keeping things secret and never talking about it was the best approach. This was especially seen in stillbirths. Parents were encouraged to try again and forget the lost baby.
Yes I agree. I think it would even be a good thing to start talking about things like that around the child from the time they are born. They may be too little to understand but if it's talked about around them as they are growing up they will gradually start to understand and adjust as they grow and view it as something that's just part of them. It's not fair to withhold information about a person's very physical mental and emotional identity from them so when they find out, its like dropping a bomb on them out of nowhere. I'm sure them knowing from a young age would at least prevent them from going through different stages of their life with all these unanswered questions about their body and feelings they are having that they don't understand. Like Sophie questioning if she might be gay.
@Gaby-cq8pr she's been raised with she/her pronouns and stereotypically female clothing since she was *two days old*, and you're *still* going to judge and misgender her. Unbelievable.
Sophie appears to be very intelligent, well spoken, thoughtful and compassionate even toward those who have been involved in this fiasco of deception. GigiGhiba-bd4ox, I truly hope you don’t mean your comment in the tone it is coming across, because it comes across a bit nasty. Did you watch the whole interview?
Sophie is a TREMENDOUS person!! She is deeply understanding, forgiving, caring, intelligent beyond the norm and and very profound in many regards. I enjoyed this interview immensely!
@@hyacinthdibley2420 The worst thing is that in the REAL cases, like that of Sophie here this is a life saving treatment, which this guy abuses for his trolling. The medical condition when the connection between the intestines and the urethra exists is a highly dangerous condition. This disgusting poster child of humanity here has really the audacity to make an argument ... about LOOKS and the sexual organs of strangers which is not his business! Besides this nutcase is clearly drowned in conspiracy theories, just let him alone with his delusions. We can't help there. That is something for professionals ... or the police, if he thinks that his strange beliefs allow him to do, who knows what, with women.
Back in the 50’s and 60’s was actually more common than you’d think for infant boys born with unusually tiny penises to have them and their testes REMOVED because it was considered less embarrassing to be raised a female than a male with “inadequacies”. I found out about this barbaric practice because a friend (whom I had always considered a bit androgynous seeming) found out at age 40 that she was actually a man. Years of reconstruction surgery and hormones to regain what was stolen, and he now looks like “himself”, and finally looks HEALTHY.
Gee, what do you know? You can't forcibly change a child's gender by "grooming" them into the gender you want them to have, no matter how many years of conversion therapy you force them through.
Yes I'm pretty certain this is what happened to Lady Colin Campbell who has a channel and has written several books . She lives in a beautiful castle in the UK .
I was adopted at birth and no one told me; I didn't find out until I was 22 and everyone in my life knew including my younger relatives and the whole family was keeping the secret for 22 years. It absolutely is a feeling of betrayal but its weird because you have no one to blame because they all gaslight you and act like they did it for you best interest... but you're left feeling like you can't ever trust your own reality because everyone is capable of keeping huge lies regarding your identity.
that said I think there should be laws called right to know laws which people who are adopted or born intersex and then gender is chosen for them are required to be informed before they are legal adults they have a right to know their identity and should be informed about their medical history etc.
Yes, it happens so much with so many things in childhood: adoption, mental health diagnoses, intersex, trauma, family histories. Things the child *needs* to know, in age-appropriate language and understanding. That’s parenting!
I had this same conversation with my doctor about a medical issue my child had, they told me I could choose the sex as a baby if we wanted, but I felt like changing the sex would be wrong & unnecessary. I didn’t think it was as straight forward as just changing their sex. One thing I have learned is that what the doctors believe is an informed opinion but NOT necessarily fact. Everything they believed WOULD happen if I didn’t change the sex, DID NOT happen. It all worked out. Sometimes you can just take things as they come. It doesn’t have to be a “be all or end all” situation. Technology changes, things are happening all the time. What is happening now doesn’t mean it will still be an issue in the future.
Cudos to you trusting your gut and standing for your child! I've been practicing pharmacy for 15 years. During that short period many things changed, medicine develops with the speed of light. What I believe to be the best evidence-based advice at the moment in 10 years time might turn out to be harmful. I remember moment I came to that realisation. In an antiques bookshop I've bought family physician's book from 19th century, I've never laughed that much. Things like beef tea (beef stock enema) were standard practice. I understood that best medicine of my time will be seen ridiculous and harmful 100 years later. I became humble about my prefessional knowledge, I truly cannot know what current practice will turn out to be useless or even deadly.
@@tanchella it’s exactly right, what we know now won’t be what we know tomorrow. We have been dealing with her condition for many years & I’ve learned that unless it’s absolutely a life and death situation, you will usually find your way out of or thru an issue if you ask a lot of questions & let the doctors understand that youre in it for the long haul. The absolute worst thing in medicine is Ego. Doctors or parents/patients that won’t take NO or accept you don’t agree or are willing to come to an acceptable accommodations that are good for everyone not just their ego.
@@tanchellaI really think psychopharmacology will be looked upon as madness in the future. Docs basically roll the dice, try something, hope it works, hope the side effects aren't too bad. In many cases absolute madness, but in some cases probably life saving. But I mean, once upon a time, they thought lobotomies were great lol.
I hear you, sister. INFORMED consent is the key. I had a hysterectomy at 24. I was not warned it was going to happen, I was admitted for another procedure, and it turns out I am intersex, but no-one bothered to tell me until I was 33, when I asked my GP to get my records from that time to fill in some blanks. As a teen I felt very different, I was too tall, too thin, no bust, no hips, legs too long, arms too long, back too long 'for a girl', and I never menstruated. The procedure I was admitted for was supposed to be exploratory surgery to find out why I never menstruated. Anyway, I had no hormones at all, neither male or female, and at 36 I was told to choose. I took the easy way out and chose to remain female. I needed to start taking hormones because I had osteoporosis and hormone therapy helps to heal that. It was weird going through puberty at 36-37! That is a VERY brief history.
@@justmissjamey Maybe compassion would be the most important aspect, before "wild interest"? People's stories might be "interesting", to a stranger, but hearts and feelings are involved, which means that boundaries need to be respected.
Your story is so interesting! Have you talked about it anywhere else? Awareness of experiences like yours is so important! Especially during these times when so many kids are being put on hormones. ❤
I can appreciate that Sophie has had a number of years to come to terms with what happened and find peace, but to speak so calmly and articulately about the unethical withholding of information, the way in which this information was discovered, and how Doctors ignored issues with drug and alcohol abuse is truly remarkable.
Learning to process and move beyond anger is so crucial for living a healthy life. It's not always easy (or never is, I expect), but it's the only way to focus on doing something meaningful and fun with your life. Holding onto anger, or venting it by harming others, both ends up leaving us worse than before. It's only by understanding our anger, and expressing it in a respectful, honest, and open way, by explaining what was lost, that we can turn the anger into a positive force of love.
@@tinamarie9809happens well the time with children born intersex, they have to have emergency surgery because they cannot urinate. Neither make or female organs are not fully developed.
You are amazing in your ability to move forward and see the human behind every decision that shaped your life… I see you as a woman, quite contrary to 99% of mtf‘s I‘ve known…but as you said nuture vs nature… JohnMoney was a p3dophile and a criminal! Thank you for your voice and bravery 💜🤍💚
You are a brave person Sophie and I hope with all the publicity etc., you manage to stay on your path of bravery and when all this has died down live a fulfilling life of love and happiness? ❤
I think that "she" should just transition to male. Despite the lifelong hormones, she's clearly and obviously got very masculine traits. ...and honestly it feels like the whole female personality is just something put on. It's socialised. At the end of this video she's asked about it, and she says some nonesense about we're all just souls in a body and it doesn't matter about the body. Urmm... if that's true, why are you so masculine and you don't seem to have any natural femininity, beyond what was socialised. Clearly she's still trying to justify it in her head and she's really afraid of transitioning which is saaaddd
@@brokengothdoll6203 Because I'm cute And it obviously is still burdening down on her, the whole ordeal What qualifies you to think she's now "over it". She clearly isn't. She's just really afraid of becoming a man because she never was that socially before. And she probably thinks she'll be regarded as a joke, whereas at the moment her life "sort of works so it's all good" ...but it's not. ...which is saaddd
Wow! An adult, informative, unbiased discussion on the topic. Sophie is exactly the type of person who should be involved in this area, objective and empathetic, a rare quality, due to her situation she has the capacity to understand/empathise from both sides, without being judgmental towards specific individuals, I'm sorry for what she went through but I admire her for being able to turn it into something constructive, I wish her all the best. Thank you.
"I've had better days." Her comment on the initial discovery was wry and understated, but devoid of anger - and I liked her immediately. What a journey! Good for her, telling her story. It will benefit others. Dr. John Money was as unethical as doctors get. I've known about him for years, and I'm still furious about the damage his lies did to so many lives.
I’m intersex but was lucky because phenotypically I appeared as cis female at birth. Nobody knew anything until I was 16 and I hadn’t gone through puberty and we did various tests and found out I had XY chromosomes and some internal stuff is different from cis females. But by 16 I was old enough to make somewhat informed decisions about my body, what hormones I wanted to take and what gender I wanted to be. I never had any invasive procedures as a baby or young child, which unfortunately is something many intersex kids were and are put through. Totally unethical
I guess the important thing here is that you are in charge of making the decisions for your life and not some outsider who doesn't know what your personality is. Your brain trumps the chromosomal situation. Your happiness and quality of life is the most important thing for any outsider to consider. I hope you are finding your happy life
Probably the SRY Gene on your Y chromosome wasnt activated properly and you developed external female parts. Because male and female genitalia come from the same tissues, it is possible for a fetus to develop genitalia not matching the chromosomes. Good for you doctors didnt find out sooner
There are several possibilities, and many stem from the idea that my Y didn't work and by default I came out female. I found that a bit problematic for a while... Like the Y chromosome is the special essence to create maleness, and without it, we are all just the default, female. The truth is there could be other explanations too, including double genes on my X chromosomes that silenced parts of the Y...but no way to really know. Biological determination of sex in biology is undergoing revisions in the past decade, including at the level of chromosomes, so how we teach it may change in the coming decades @@mmgs1148
I agree with her when she said that,She's a bit contradictory though, worried about doing something irreversible to children's bodies, but doesn't care and thinks our shells are not important. So why is she bothered if people want to change their shell if they can be mental healthed into being okay with it IF they regret the decision? The vast majority of trans-people are ecstatic with the change, they're just not so happy about the way society treats them for their decision.
@@blindbrad4719 You can't "box" her in the trans category. She didn't ask for it. How she's handling it now is admirable, but she can't be compared to "by choice" trans people.
@@frankenfurter58”by choice trans”? You mean how they tell us they feel in their own body? Please explain that more- than don’t care about how someone dresses- their by choice trans is the interesting part. Thanks.
What a remarkable, and well-adjusted person Sophie is. When you consider the doubts and misgivings, she must have had, growing up, and yet her parents still kept the truth, about her biology, from her. Just unbelievable.
Doctors can influence an outcome that has successful physical intervention but the most difficult is the mental dysfunction caused by this intervention..none of which was taken into consideration ... destroying a life thru the imbalance that could be corrected with psychological therapy.
Yes he did! And while the medical profession should have learned after the heartbreaking suicide of David Reimer, they clearly didn’t. I have made it my duty to end Money’s flawed and damaging theory once and for all. I am certain there will be many people who won’t be pleased with this as Money’s ideologies line a lot of pockets.
I can remember when I first studied psychology 30+ years the text books all proclaimed the Bruce/Brenda "experiment" as irrefutable proof that gender acquisition (along with, more or less, everything else) was purely a result of social conditioning. That genetics may play a role was was considered to be heresy, a bit fascist and deterministic.@@SophieOtts
I worked as a medical researcher analyzing legal files about cases of people who were gender reassigned. Many committed suicide, got rejected by their partners as soon as they found out or had psychological damage. If people knew how common these cases are, they would make laws to protect those with sexual ambiguity & inform everyone in the society about it.
Now that medical science has up the age in gender realignment surgery to pass 18 (excluding her case), then wouldn't it be a mute argument that "children are getting surgeries." We are no longer in the 50s
Does this happen in certain countries? It seems to me they are doing it because they are Satanists. This is not exactly medically sound. I know no one who would choose this for their kid.
You forgot the part where ALL of them have endocrine disease. Now, if you're intersex, you're born with endocrine disease, and you should learn young how to manage it. But if you're NOT intersex (and less than a tenth of a percent of all people are), do NOT for one second buy Big Pharma's lie that giving yourself endocrine disease will magically cure all your problems. It won't. It will make them exponentially worse.
I love that Sophie brought up the case of the Winnipeg twins. I’ve know that case for so many years. Both have died by suicide. The therapy was not that at all but sexual exploitation. They were robbed of an amazing life. Thank you for sharing your story Sophie.
What a brave young woman! When I was a nursing student in 1970 I watched a baby ‘hermaphrodite’ undergo surgery. I cannot remember which gender remained but I was quite upset especially when the surgical staff made disgusting jokes about this young person. I often wonder about the life this person has had. 🥰🥰🥰🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
I too nursed during the 70's and worked for many years in an institution (Asylum) which thankfully closed in the 90's. There were many hermaphrodites' there who had never had surgery and sadly this affected their mental health. Many were placed there as young children by parents who disowned them, very sad times but,thankfully those patients were well cared for by staff.
The awful thing is that the conservatives aren't saying a thing about genital surgeries for babies but claim outrage at a 17yr old taking blockers with no surgery
@@jaynes387maybe their menthal health was affected by the rejection of the family and the institutionalization per se, and not because of the hermaphroditism
I really admire Sophie for her attitude, openness and how she currently feels that her body identity is immaterial. She has a unique perspective of living in her avatar body. Huge respect. ❤️
@@user-fk5zw2wq5m in her case it truly is an avatar as she was not clicking with body and lied about it, of course she will take it as such. Dissociation from own body and it's gender identity can bring you to this psychological point.
I don't think you have to go through trauma per se to feel that you're just an entity animating a shell. I feel that way about myself and I don't have any kind of unique story like Sophie's. I'm neurodivergent though, and I think that has much to do with it. I was born with a weak connection to my body- sometimes I don't recognize what I'm feeling and sometimes I'm bad at controlling certain motor functions. I also identify as non binary now as an adult because to me gender is only a set of arbitrary societal rules rather than something that I connect with myself. I don't know if souls are real or not, but I have often thought of myself as just a consciousness piloting a meat suit.
These are they voices we so need to hear…many thanks to Sophie for bravely speaking out. She perfectly highlights the atrocities of a medical world that has done great harms whilst using babies and children as medical guinea pigs.
Mutilating a baby with a DSD =/= giving puberty blockers to a trans child with body-related gender dysphoria so as to allow them breathing space to decide whether to proceed with a medical transition, all the while sparing them heightened dysphoria as a consequence of natural puberty.
She would have been born around the time I was learning about Bruce/Brenda (and later David as he transitioned back to male) in college. The doctors who botched Bruce's circumcision and then convinced his parents to hide it and just turn him into Brenda really ruined his life. The consequences were well known at this point! It's one thing for a person to decide what gender they are, but it's entirely unethical for someone else to make that decision without your knowledge or consent. Moral of the story: don't circumcise babies because they can't consent, don't assume or enforce a gender on babies, don't lie to kids especially about fundamental parts of their identity, and don't shame or hate on someone because their identity is different than what you expect.
It a perfectly normal and routine circumcision, the electric circumcision machine just went haywire, not the fault of doctor. In immediate aftermath they patched up baby genital best they could, no long term decisions undertaken at time. It was only way later that parent watching TVs seeing Dr. Money talka up the gender social construct ideas. It was parent idea to take a baby into Dr. Money and make a new big gender chop-chop new day. Blame a Dr Money not other dr who just doing jobs.
I had a discussion with someone on Reddit about this… She became rather heated about circumcision being mutilation. For baby girls, yes. For boys it’s a matter of it being easier to stay clean and avoid infections and other issues (there are numerous articles on the subject) as well as it being a religious ceremony if you happen to be of the Jewish faith. So she was essentially telling me that religion was wrong. In any case, it’s not mutilation unless it’s performed by someone completely incompetent. Which, sadly, there are a lot of incompetent doctors out there. That’s why you do your homework first. That’s what I did for my boys and that was in the days before internet, so it was a bit harder to research doctors. But they both turned out fine.
Very articulate, good humoured, and she seems like she's found peace about it, and now shes using her story to bring up an important point and to protect children. I'm impressed.
So they are projecting of when they were forced to take medicine by lies on youth that knowingly asks for it. They understand that their appearance was not clicking with who they were, but fails to make destinction on forced medication and voluntary one. Perhaps they would be different if they knew it from start. They are in fact presented as nonbinary in the end with a lot of pain underneath.
She's a bit contradictory, worried about doing something irreversible to children's bodies, but doesn't care and thinks our shells are not important. So why is she bothered if we can mental health people into being okay with it if people want to change IF they regret the decision? she has no experience as a boy, so doesn't have any clue about body dysmorphia from a consensual requested decision. The vast majority of trans people are ecstatic with their decision, they just hate the way society continues to treat them as freaks for their decision and the way they are continued to be bullied and ostracised which is why the few that do re-transition go back into the closet.
I do think 'he' has accepted the abuse sick adults put on him (with much pain/anger), but he is a male and always will be, even with all the hormones and surgery. It's sad that sick adults get ahold of innocent children and decide such terrible atrocities according to 'their' own feelings or beliefs.
So impressed with how Sophie has dealt with this. Unimaginable life changing pain and yet handled in such a strong way. Really impressed with people who can go through such an ordeal and come out the other side with such a strong and kind personality. All the best to you Sophie.
I was completely humbled by Sophie empathy, compassion, humility and honesty. Thankyou all for sharing this experience. I'm better for having heard it.
Empathy? What empathy? She thinks that *her* experience is all that matters on the topic and everybody should live their life how she lived it (unhappy). This is the opposite of empathy - she's not feeling what other feel. She wants other to feel that she felt.
@@arcadiaberger9204 in the video. I just decided to listen. 11:10 till the very end she just speaks about how other people should live based only on her experience. This is the pure opposite of empathy. Empathy is trying to understand other people's feelings, not assuming they feel the same as you do.
@@Arek.Arkadiusz Well, I watched the entire video, and I heard NOTHING resembling what you insisted upon hearing. I listened from 11:10, and still heard nothing remotely resembling a declaration that "other people should live based only on her experience. I DID hear her say, out of her own mouth, starting at 13:05, "I have absolutely all respect for anyone who wants to go that path" [of hormones and surgery]. I think that, as happens with all too many people, you are projecting your own preconceived notions of what you WANT someone to say, or what you FEAR someone might say, onto a speaker, instead of actually listening to what they DO say. I have been guilty of the same thing, often enough. Try to cultivate the art of sitting down before every speaker like a small child before a loving parent, as was advised by so many wise minds from Charles Darwin to Jesus Christ.
Although I am sure she has her moments, Sophie definitely has chosen to accept what was done to her as a baby and move on with her life. Definitely commendable. Not too many people can do that - even for seemingly lesser reasons than hers.
In the series "Altered Carbon", our bodies are called "sleeves" which affluent people discard and replace fairly frequently. This would be one of the many many ways the bible is misinterpreted and abused.
“We are just a soul in a shell”… that is insightful. She is an intelligent and wise (and yes they are different things) soul, and I wholeheartedly applaud her for being so open and for sharing her experience with others in an attempt to save other souls from this heartbreaking and difficult experience.
I love Sophie’s philosophy of life going forward and I admire her intentions in making the doc. This kind of support is much needed for those who most need it.
It cannot be easy to share this story with the world. Well done to Sophie for doing so. There seems to be an awful lot of baseless talk on gender issues today so we cannot afford to ignore those that have first hand experience.
Sophie's story is an incredible one which could have been a very tragic version but Sophie's strength of character & sensible way of thinking is to be applauded & taken notice of in this messed-up society. What a complete mind-f&ck Sophie has been through & now she wants to share her experience to help others ... absolutely brilliant 👏🏽
Thank the gods she's this intelligent so she can not only share this unusual experience, but also reflect around it and provide a great deal of knowledge.
He. This individual dispite being brought up as a girl believes he is not. So start treating him as the dude he is. This individual may look female, but clearly is not. This is a man
@@GigiGhiba-bd4ox You're ranting about religion because I said an idiom. But beyond that, if you don't have some sort of excuse like a heavy psychiatric diagnosis, then maybe you should have a little human insight and have a little respect for the people in this world who have religions with a plurality of gods. I'm not one of them, I just said an empty idiom, but your arrogance is showing. You think you're better than people who believe different from you. I'll excuse that if you're in a deep psychosis or something, but if you're a normal functioning human being then maybe stop with the spreading of religious prejudice.
The fact that she doesn’t put any blame on her parents is crazy. They had to have some kind of moral conflict with what the doctors were telling them about their child. Just sickening how easily medical professionals can convince people what they’re doing is absolutely right.
Don't blame the doctors, it's society that has created stigma. its stigma that dictates how people are treated, and its stigma that needs to be stamped out.
My parents didn’t question anything that ‘professionals’ told them. They were working class people who put their trust in people more academically smarter than themselves. Nothing to this degree but definite unnecessary surgeries because that was easier for the Dr’s at the time, than to study and learn about very common conditions. It’s very scary how much trust is put into some of these, rather ruthless, people.
@@chrissie3742 more so back in the day when the ability to get a second opinion wasn't easily available. I'd like to say there's no excuse today, but insurance companies are absolute wankers
What an amazing person on how she has handled the experience. Very intelligent and mature in her outlook & a very upbeat and likeable personality in her sharing. Keep on spreading awareness Sophie. God Bless.
I've noticed a few comments about the speaker's "likeableness". Personally, I wouldn't be bothered if the lady expressed anger. After everything, I don't think that having to satisfy strangers' requirements for "affability" ought to be foremost. I feel sorry for what this lady has been through and I would feel mean for expecting her to accommodate my need, in watching this interview, to feel "appeased". I'd hope that people who haven't had these problems would have the strength to put their own fears of feeling uncomfortable about "different" biology to the side, in order to listen with compassion?
What a wonderfully well adjusted young woman despite what has happened to her. Rather than getting completely stuck in anger and negativity she’s reconciled with the trauma her parents went through when she was born and the advice they were given with the understanding that they were trying to act in her best interests out of love. If she were my daughter I would be tremendously proud of her.
@@SophieOtts Even though they disfigured his body I can see glimpses of a real man in him. He got that sternness and courage of a man. A handsome man indeed.
@@KellyKelly-qd7myShe’s intersex. You can say what you want but that does not change the fact that she was intersex at birth and forced to go through horrific treatment to appear like a boy. But she was never truly a man because she was intersex. Her identity is her business, not yours.
@@kit4616 "she was intersex at birth and forced to go through horrific treatment to appear like a boy." Did we watch the same video? They said in the video it was an XY birth, and the male genitalia was removed due to a bladder issue, so they made the child appeal like a girl, not like a boy. It's explained in the video at 0:30-0:54 seconds in. Read the description and it even explains it there too.
She is at peace because she is empathetic and realistic. These are two key personality traits that will help you thrive in todays day and age. I wish her the best of luck and I hope her message spreads far an wide, helping families and youth alike!
What other choice is there? Sorry, but being furious over this would be justified. It must never happen to another baby boy, ever. Some of those medics may still be around and held to account.
It seems to me that many readers here may well be 'triggered' and preoccupied with their own discomfort about "different" gender? Could there be an elephant in the room? That is: the consideration by some viewers that this lady is a "nice" "strange person"; not like all those 'other, not pleasant'...transgender people? (I realise that this lady has not described herself as transgender).
I think she's somewhat come to terms with it because she's had to work through it. That understandably wasn't something that happened smoothly, as she describes.
I had a step cousin who was born with the insides of a girl and the outside of a boy. As a teenager the youngster was confused, ashamed and traumatized every time they had to dress down for PE and shower in public especially with bloody discharge once a month it was excruciating to say the least. We grew up knowing our cousin as a male. As an adult, I met my female cousin after the surgery to fix the issue. We found out that my cousin was supposed to have been twins a boy and a girl. Our family has had issues of extra parts inside and even teeth or hair in fibroids removed. Sophie you are special and a comfort to help others.
Would you not agree, with the knowledge that your experience brings, that the most important thing is the happiness of the person involved and that the decisions to be made about their life be made by them? Thanks for sharing this.
@@monicadaniels784 Far beit for me to try and play God. I'm hurt by so many pushing the ideologies of changing what God created. That being said I know that He and He alone can help anyone find inner peace with themselves to come to grips with any diaphoretic issues. When I personally struggled with why I had to be chased when my desires seemed unquenchable because of deadly diseases and small children to raise by myself, things changed as I turned to God for my help and not men. I'm twice now divorced and both exes point blank said, "I was more like a man instead of a woman."
@@aruglaempire2518 no one said you had to believe the truth even if it slipped you in the face, go troll some one else, God knows and it doesn't matter what you think you're not my God or anyone of importance in my life. What ever!
I have no known medical issues that would contribute to feeling as though I am in the wrong body, though I have felt this way for most of my life. I spent many years contemplating changing my body, or "avatar" as Sophie put it, but ultimately came to the same conclusion as her. You could change anything you want to about your body, but in the end we are just souls given a body to experience life on this Earth. Taking care of it appropriately will mean different things to different people, but I am glad that my body is unchanged and I am thankful that I was not ever pressured into that sort of thing.
I work in the Neonatal ICU and this was done for babies born with extrophy of the bladder on a routine basis. Yes it is a rare birth defect but the doctors would choose to make the baby a boy or girls based on what was the easiest way to repair the defect. I remember a hispanic father visiting his male born child who was dressed in a pink dress. He couldn't accept it. There were many things done that weren't in the best interest of the patient years ago. Be glad we have come this far to realize the damage it caused. I thought it was wrong back then in the 1990's.
I wonder what became of that family. Latino culture is generally much more against being trans and feminine men. I suppose my own dad would have struggled with something like that. Can the gender at birth be kept nowadays or are they still going by the "available material?"
Except now days doctors are just handing out puberty blockers, hormones, and performing surgeries on children who have been brainwashed into thinking they are in the wrong body. Let kids be kids!
What an incredible story. Sophie seems remarkably well balanced after finding out what had been kept secret for so long. Admirable to want to speak up for vulnerable children in these worrying times
That's got to be a tough decision for parents to make when a child is newborn but that doctor was wrong when he said never tell her. She has taken it amazingly well. I love how she describes us as Souls and our bodies are just avatars. I have said that almost word for word before.
Why not wait until the child is old enough to chose though. With a baby you can’t tell yet whether they’re going to feel more male or female. Also, doctors often choose the operation that’s easiest to do, not the one that should be done.
I can't understand the reason to do the surgery. It was a radical transformation, on an infant! She was a boy, biologically and mentally, except for one physical defect. Because of that physical defect, they transformed her whole life. That was wrong.
@@kellydalstok8900 That's the modern agenda. UN Agenda 2030 includes a society that is gender neutral (no more men, women, marriage, or families) and the modern gender theory was created in order to socially manipulate people towards that manufactured goal. Think about it. Some "elites" decided we needed to eliminate gender and are pushing that upon us as we speak. Playing God with us, they tell us nonsense. God made us male and female. Intersex is the same as any other genetic defect...It's a deviation from the norm. Saying anything else is to support a stated agenda that is against humanity. The destruction of male and female is the destruction of humanity made in the image of God. Destroy this and we aren't human anymore. That is the point. That is the aim. I, for one, refuse to bow to being stripped of the image of God.
I knew a woman who had a baby that came out having male and female genitalia. She was given many options of what can be, I assumed overwhelming and life altering no matter what decisions. The decisions varied from doing nothing, testing to find out which hormones were more prevalent, to do surgery and if so at what age...then or later on. Even possibly letting the child decide at some predetermined age or on and on. All kinds of counseling and resources made available. I was aware the amount of different departments and the ultra expensive surgeries or testing was jumping to help her, inform her, explain, comfort, support... without hesitation the lady says I want a girl. I thought she would atleast do some further tests and maybe make an informed decision. I never spoke to her after that. I'm probably judgemental and have no right to be. It just really really bothered me that she would give no thought about any of the many ways the child might or might not be effected then or throughout life. She just wanted a girl so that was it. I don't know how the child faired in life. I hope she was happy and made her way in life no matter what! I lived in Simi Valley, CA around 1991-92 I have wondered about her all these years. Love and light
@@giftofthewild6665I would have determined what biological sex they actually are and gone with that. Even with intersex genetalia, their genetics are still one or the other.
@@brahtrumpwonbigly7309 That’s what I was thinking too. I’d probably wait for surgery until the child decided on it, but at least make a biologically informed choice about how to treat him/her rather than choosing arbitrarily. But, it is a difficult situation, so perhaps I’d better have some empathy for the mother too.
Same, or maybe even after that, if ever. No need to rush. It’s possible the child would elect to not even have surgery. I think it’d be cool to have both. Your body your choice though:) @@giftofthewild6665
A doctor told me once that a woman who had a son with a micropenis responded with "Just cut the thing off" when they suggested her son be turned into a girl (had normal testes).
Sophie's response about feeling if she's in the wrong body --gave me chills!! Thank you for being brave and sharing your story that so many need to hear!
I think it’s great how Sophie can talk about it so constructively without shaming her parents and the doctor’s decision and come to a mature understanding why the decisions were made to save her life and how it wasn’t ill intent. Hopefully Sophie could become a spoke person for this type of surgery the benefits, the negatives and the feedback and even having to deal with the news what happened at birth I would love to be able to read a book or listen to her talk about it more in dept with a podcast to bring awareness. I’m glad she is comfortable in her body. And I admire her coming out about this situation
Don't keep important information from the people you love. It won't save them pain, it will just cause them more pain when they find out, and it will cause trust issues too. Luckily, she has a great attitude dealing with it. I don't blame her parents, but I think her doctors were full of hubris for doing such a thing.
I see something along these lines with my niece, her daughter who's coming on 10 years old. Is going to start figuring out that her white mother, and the man she thinks is her dad who's white. Doesn't really match up to her brown skin.
@@spencers4121it’s absolutely ridiculous that they waited that to tell her something so important. The poor thing probably will be bullied for insisting she’s not adopted. That’s cruel.
Exactly - either they process the thing now, or they process the thing later PLUS also processing the betrayal of having been continuously lied to for a long time!
I agree with her saying the conversation should have happened at 10/11. Even if it was done slowly and gently over time. I feel compassion for the parents who were just trying their best to do the right thing. I probably would have hidden the facts in the first decade too until there was maturity to understand. But no one should have to suddenly find out such a drastic thing later in life. It makes you question everything!
Surgeons are talented people and society benefits greatly from their expertise but they are not gods. This sadly demonstrates the arrogance of some members of the medical community. This casual willingness to create a lifelong medically dependent person and redefine their biological reality without their mature informed consent is appalling.
This has basically happened to just about every Intersex person as well.. 1/2500 live births are intersex... Sophie is quite right when she says her story is just a tip of an iceberg... The hierarchy of the medical profession has a LOT to answer for...
@@chickenlover657maybe thats because.... you cant tell by seeing someone that they're intersex. Often when babies are born intersex they are surgically reconstructed to one or the other. They may never even know. You can also be born with XXY chromosomes, and not display any physical characteristics and not know without testing- still intersex DNA
You can't say, with any certainty, that you've never met one. It's not a subject that comes up in daily conversation. You f can't simply look at someone and know they are an intersexual person. Even if they have been altered in no way, they can appear to be completely female or completely male, until you without seeing their genitalia. Also, most older people who were born intersex were surgically altered during infancy to be physically female simply because that surgery is less complicated and leaves the genitalia looking and functioning in a more 'normal' way. What surgery does NOT address is how the body of an intersexual person changes during puberty. That can't be known until it happens. t also doesn't address the genetics that affect how the brain itself defines the sex of the person. Hormones, estrogen and testosterone, are not the end all of defining sexuality even though they play the major role. @@chickenlover657
It’s funny how many people didn’t even watch the video and assume Sofie is intersex. Sofie is NOT intersex. He fully accepts being born 100% a boy, but having been “transitioned” hormonally without his knowledge has left him so disfigured that he is unable to safely reverse course. He says he is in the wrong body, meaning his body should not be a woman’s body bc his mind and soul are male. But he must live as a woman now due to his circumstances. A very brave gentleman with a beautiful outlook on life despite the hardships he’s been through! Sofie is a treasure
Ehh....she is intersex.....that's why she was sex changed to begin with lol....because she had a DSD (disorder of sexual differentiation), if she was not intersex she would never have had a sex change...what do you think intersex is exactly?
Such an intelligent, empathic and well-spoken person. Sophie speaks with so much grace about her parents and the medical professionals. Incredible story and an incredible person.
Brilliant final comment by Sophie about the 'soul' being her focus and the body being just a shell.' This approach would cure a nation's anxiety. Bravo Sophie.
@@GigiGhiba-bd4ox I disagree, your body is merely a vehicle, this is why you can afford to lose an arm, a leg, or any other body part that can be replaced medically without changing who you really are.
This is the best coverage of this topic I’ve seen, devoid of the politicking. It highlights the medicalization and sometimes neglect of psychological issues. It’s never cut and dried, but the medical profession pretending it is has caused untold damage to countless individuals. This woman’s courage and balanced approach will only help clarify the situation for the benefit of all. Grateful she’s come forward to add another vital perspective to the conversation.
There’s a documentary about intersex people on RU-vid. It shows an adult individual who was born with the characteristics of a boy and a girl who was turned into a girl even though she’s actually male, because the doctors found that easier to do. And the documentary also shows a family with two intersex teenage children. They didn’t make the choice for their children, and now they’re getting older the children don’t want to choose. They’re fine with how they are and have always been completely open about their condition to their friends and classmates.
I suspect maybe you think it was “devoid of politicking” because you agreed with her. I don’t fully agree with her. She seems unaware of the evidence of puberty blockers being safe which is an anti trans talking point (they’ve been used in cis kids for decades to delay puberty), so that says to me maybe she isn’t as well versed on trans care (and specifically trans care) as she believes. Her experience is her own.
@@jaybee4118 I don’t “agree” with her. She’s sharing her own story, devoid of politics. From the person’s perspective. It doesn’t matter if people agree with her or not. Irrespective of the “ safety” of puberty blockers, it illustrates the impact of negating the individual’s ability to know about and have some say in the decisions made regarding them. Considering that most medications have side effects, it’s important to know long term impacts before widespread use. There’s a history of the ‘medically safe’ having unknown serious side effects that negatively affect the outcome of treatment, even with things like SSRIs.
@@jaybee4118 Assuming my position, rather than engaging I. A conversation is the trouble with Both Sides I. This polarized conversation. Many of us don’t come down on one side or the other. Each person’s situation is different. Political parties using these issues to gain points is reprehensible for a lot of people . Much like children between two parents or families taking sides using them as leverage against one another. It’s disgusting. Never seen so many apparently so seemingly “interested” in other peoples personal health decisions in all my life. But on,y to bolster their own arguments.
She is a credit to her parents. She has so much respect for others and speaks with the kindest words available even when she is very upset about the topic at hand. I'm so impressed with her!
@@CherryJulibut it's also important to remember they were being told this was to help avoid a life of surgeries and health problems. At that time most people trusted the doctor.
@@crazymomwife4 No, it is the parenta fault. So Sophie could have been a boy with removed gentiles, rather than a female, with no female reproductive organs. Sophie was not the first child to have his or her organs removed, and it didn't resulted in gender change
The level of respect, maturity, self actualization, introspection, critical empathy and intuition of this person is truly something that has personally inspired me in a matter of minutes. What’s sad about that is I’m realizing now of how vapid I have become as I subconsciously conform to society’s “norms”. Her insight was so profound yet extremely logical and simplistic. I now believe that our world’s vapidity could be the fault of existing in constant hypothetical and speculative scenarios rather than simply existing within what actually is. I’m intrigued to see more from this person.
I love her attitude and beliefs. She seems to be a very well-rounded and wise person and it's great that she wants to tell her story and give her thoughts, feelings and opinions about such things. I loved what she said about the body not being important, that we're all souls, and our body is just a vehicle to have experiences through.
A castrated male at birth, that believes they are male mentally- is not trans. So why does this individual clearly still dress like a woman, have she pronouns and insist in being called Sophie. That's a man. Who believes they are male mentally. This individual needs to stop the pretence, go onto testosterone and start living as the guy they are.
I’m so sorry this happened to you Sophie. It takes a truly victorious soul to use an experience like this for good, your voice is absolutely necessary right now. I agree with your thoughts on the boxes society imposes on gender and our human experience, well said.
I love Sophie’s last words. We are souls in an avatar. I wish everyone would look at it this way and accept each other however they look because it’s the internal person that should be kind and good. The appearance doesn’t really matter.
Sophie, I just want you know I understand *EXACTLY* where you are coming from about forgiving your parents because they acted from love. I had a surgery as a baby that saved my life also but mistakes were made and it created issues I still carry 50 years later. But you’re right; when normal people with a gravely I’ll baby are told by doctors what the best course of action is….what are they supposed to do? They trust the doctors. And I’m not even mad at the doctors; that’s water under the bridge. I can only hope that by what happened in my case he learned what not to do and it benefited other children born with my defect. But I refuse to let it destroy my relationship with my parents. They mean entirely too much to me.
I agree. I'm sorry for what happened to you though. When I was born my parents had to make a difficult decision for a surgery that ended up messing me up as well. It wasn't for my life, but my legs. But because my condition is so rare, they misunderstood the problem and the surgery made my legs so much worse and messed up my spine as well. Can't really be angry, everyone involved is just trying to do what they can. 🤷 But it is horrible they said to never even tell Sophie. You would think that could cause issues down the line if she needed certain medical procedures or a doctor wanted to figure out something wrong and went a different direction due to a wrong assumption.
You can't hide a secret this big, and anyone can make a FOI request for their medical records. We have to learn how to be honest about difficult things. Props to Sophie for handling it all with grace and good humour. These choices should have been for HER to make.
as i understand it, these surgeries are often performed without the knowledge or consent of the parents and without any documentation. kids grow up like sophie, with an unclear medical diagnosis, and often experience distress/dysphoria surrounding their gender. it’s really awful.
in the 90s, when we got married, the husband and i discussed what we would do if we had an intersexed child, and that is the decision that we made. bare minimal necessary interference until puberty, then let the child tell us what they thought was best. but then, we are very educated scientists. how could normal people not do what the doctors told them? it wasn't really a choice the parents made, they did what the experts told them.
What an eye-opening message. My personal thoughts have always been to leave the babies with what they are born with and later as the child matures, see which gene is more dominant, discuss this with the child, and allow the child to choose. I feel that parents making a decision regarding the child's sex at birth is definitely a wrong thing to do. If doctors would stop trying to play God and stay in their lane, many cases like this one would have had a better outcome.
@@AuntyJack123 The doctors believed that you could raise someone to be one gender or the other (that gender identity is a choice you can influence) and that society would be too cruel and confusing to an individual not grouped into male or female. They believed that children who were raised in a gender-neutral way and allowed to choose would be worse off, either because of poorer mental health or because doctors would be less able to help intersex people to look more like one gender later in life. In that, there is some truth that doing reconstructive surgeries earlier in life is, currently, more successful due to decreased scarring and better healing overall. However, these doctors were wrong about being able to significantly influence gender identity (just like sexual orientation) and caused harm, and like many people who make huge mistakes, they had trouble admitting that they were wrong. This is where the worst in human nature comes out; are you able to analyze your closely held beliefs and all your actions, admit the things you have done wrong, and try to fix the problems and pain you have caused? While some doctors may be out for money, many just want to help people and believed that this was the best way to keep their oath to do no harm (i.e. doing nothing would be doing harm).
@@laurelbeach4529 that's what I collected about it too, I disagree with her refusing youth from gender affirming care if they are fully aware of their circumstances differently from hers. But this is a perfect example that raising to fit gender box is not always correct. So if some people strongly dissosiate with their gender and show strong struggle and pain, they should be listened and helped.
I agree with her completely! Why does it matter what society thinks a boy or man should like or feel or think or want? If a boy is effeminate, leave him alone. He's okay the way he is and he shouldn't feel the need to physically change into a girl to be adequate. If a girl or woman is more comfortable living a life society considers masculine, so be it. It is sexist to put people in boxes, and to actually surgically change them into something they are not so that they are acceptable. Everybody is different. Why isn't it okay to just be who you are?
Amazing interview ! what intelligence and clarity of thought. I think that experiences like these can prevent many mistakes and haste in gender changes.
Sophie is AMAZING!!! How good advocate to the world through her own life experience! This is exactly the RIGHT conversation to have at this time! My deepest, heart felt thanks to Sophie for speaking up! What a MIGHTY valuable voice!!! 💪💪💪
Wow! Never knew stuff like this could happen. Sophie clearly has come through so much and is an inspirational person. I totally agree with that last sentiment about us all being souls in a shell - we (as a society) focus too much on the shell and seem completely oblivious to the souls inside.
Sophie, you are just bloody brilliant! The fact that you are saying and explaining things with with a 'smile', but burning inside .... You are handling it just incredibly well! Love you, ...and Godspeed with your journey forward.
Sophie is a delight. A large challenge in life was delivered to her from the start, but she's one of the very amazing people I admire so much, who seemed determined to keep putting one foot before the other and just get on with it. I pray for her continued success, happiness, love, and joy.
Sophie is amazing for the courage and honesty telling her story. Hopefully, she can help many young people going these type of issues and save them from the mental and physical suffering. Thank you for your story and courage!!
It's so sad to hear this. I can understand for her to feel that way, but our bodies are so much more than a mere shell we can change or customise at any moment. They are the way our souls express themselves and they're both intrinsically linked to each other. There is no living human without both of them.
@@zagrizenathat was one thing Sophie said that doesn’t sit right with me. I believe that gender is eternal. My soul is female, just as my body is. I know this to be true. Otherwise, what a graceful person she is to move forward and be kind, in spite of the decisions that were made for her-and then withheld from her. I can only imagine the mental anguish the situation would cause.
Well , l think that’s the only way for her to see it … it’s not as if she was given the to decide who she really was ( she still said that she feels like she’s in the “wrong body” and it did skewer her view on her own sexuality ). I think it’s brilliant how she’s come to terms with this and is willing to share her story.
@@supernova7848 I agree with you and I understand where she's coming from. It makes sense for her to feel that way or even to conceptualise it this way, so she can move forward. I'm astonished by her ability to navigate the situation honestly. That doesn't mean I agree with her claim, neither does it mean it's generally true. It saddens me to hear her experience forced her to view our bodies and souls this way, although I understand why it would.
What a sad story but what a lovely person Sophie comes across as. How on earth does anyone think this can remain hidden throughout life. Sophie doesn't mention relationships and I wonder what impact her life has had in this respect
