@@abcdefzhij Not a good mindset to have. It's true that she is the one that was worse in this situation, but there are two reasons why the guy shouldn't do it as well. First of all, he knew that he would probaly destroy a entire family. If you have any kind of empathy in your heart, you know how important families are and how difficult they are to build. Destroying an entire family, possibily causing trauma for the husband and the child and making their lives more difficult for at least a few years just because you are in lust is horrible and pathetic. Secondly, you never know how the husband will react. In this case he luckly didn't react with violence, but when husbands do react with violence, usually the lover dies, the husband goes to jail and the wife comes out unscathed. Let's just say that if her husband pointed a gun at him, a few seconds before the end he would realise how her cheating with him was his problem. If you go out with someone that has a partner and that person didn't tell you that, then shit happens i suppose, even though you could probably do some research to find that out beforehand, but knowingly going after a married woman is about as low as a man can get.
A while back I saw a post on Facebook that mentioned "mistakenly" cheating. I said in a comment that there is no such thing. There isn't. There is no accidental cheating. As you said and I said in my Facebook comment. You either are faithful or you cheat. There's no middle ground. You make the choice to cheat. It can't accidentally happen as it is a choice. My comment seemed to piss a few people off who then proceeded to tell me the "fallacy" of my statement. Thankfully there were a lot of people who agreed with me and came to my aid.
Even if "kind of cheated" was a thing, this was not it. She has been having been sleeping around for a long time every chance she gets. That's not "kind of cheating" that's just straight up cheating. "Kind of cheating" would be like if Jay kissed her, she kissed him back but then she pulled out and never contact him again. That's "kind of cheating"
@@MrSqurk That too. I heard cheaters say "It was just sex, okay! It didn't mean anything! I don't love them, I love you." They say that like they don't count it as cheating because they don't like the person they cheated with
"Me, me, me, me, me" "feelings, feelings, feelings, feelings, feelings" "I deserve, I deserve, I deserve, I deserve" "he's bad because I cheated". "WHAT!?!? there are consequences?!?!! Why? I swear it's not like that!" -literally every cheating story ever. That both infuriating and pathetic that there seem to be an anthropology for cheating bastards.
she is a prime example of a narcissist she only cared about herself and said she didn't want her son to hate her for what she did when he will eventually find out and still end up hating her
@@flamingrage100lol. I always tell men to stop acting like banks and walking wallets or women will start seeing as such and you will be in this situation lol
So... instead of actually having a relationship with wife where you talk, have date nights, bump uglies etc the mans went STRAIGHT TO FARMING GOLD AT THE OFFICE 24/7! well done op's ex husband, you didnt fug your wife for 6 months so she went and got fug from someone else. You deserve a shitty marriage when neither of you are putting in ANY effort into it 8==D
It's not even that - she did at least ask her husband what was up and he told her nothing. Despite the fact that, that wasnt true and she should have pushed the issue. Ok. Your husband won't screw you, and that passes you off. A vibrator costs like 30 dollars cheep. Sis couldn't get 30 dollars
@@whatteamwildcats4033 What she did was wrong but what her husband did was wrong too. He neglected her and their marriage. In biblical terms, you're supposed to cling to your sponse and be regularly intimate to prevent sin from tempting you. Her husband's neglect drove her to sin. I usually think that it's inexcusable and to a degree, I still think that but this is one of those times where you have to look at the bigger picture to see that he's responsible for things getting to this point too.
@@relics2397 oh no I get that. He shouldn't be pressures into sex when he doesn't want to - its not neglect to not have sex. What he is guilty of, and I will give op some points for it, is refusing to communicate with her as well. According to op she did ask if something was wrong, and he gave her nothing to work with. From there op never said she tried again to communicate, and her entire issue really was that he wouldn't have sex with her. But if she doesn't care to keep trying to get to the bottom of what was wrong, why should he care to be intimate again. Edit: if you have a problem with me saying the husband is guilty of shutting down on op - *leave me alone*. I'm not altering my statement or changing it to make you feel comfortable and I'm litterally admitting op was the one mostly at fault. Why are yall targeting me when relics2397 is litterally saying it's his fault in entirely? Like fuck off
@@Aj.6500I can’t even blame this on poor communication anymore. A fucking monkey has enough communication skills to tell you when it isn’t happy with a situation granted you take the time to try and understand it. It’s an issue of people being entitled morons who expect everyone else to read their mind. And as you said, therapy. You could both be blind and deaf and a good therapist will still find a way to bridge a gap between people.
She's also blaming her job and her boss; "my boss wanted me to be friendly", "we had to land this client", "we needed the business", bla bla bla, excuses excuses. She wanted this and she just regrets the consequences now.
Gaslighting is all women do to wiggle out of responsibility. Just listen carefully and you will realize literally ALL women do it. ALL of them. You sister, your cousin, your mom, your grandmother. I mean ALL. You just have to pay attention and listen when they speak after doing something wrong.
A while back I saw a post on Facebook that mentioned "mistakenly" cheating. I said in a comment that there is no such thing. There isn't. There is no accidental cheating. As you said and I said in my Facebook comment. You either are faithful or you cheat. There's no middle ground. You make the choice to cheat. It can't accidentally happen as it is a choice. My comment seemed to piss a few people off who then proceeded to tell me the "fallacy" of my statement. Thankfully there were a lot of people who agreed with me and came to my aid.
Even if "kinda cheating" existed, this was not it. She has been sleeping around with Jay for a long time every time she gets the chance. That's not "kinda cheating" that's just straight up cheating. "Kinda cheating" would be if Jay pulled her to kiss him and she kissed him back before realizing what she did and pulled away. That's "kinda cheating"
And never once did she ever mention trying to have a serious talk with her husband before jumping right into cheating. Hope she enjoys her sons childhood becuase soon enough he’ll ask questions and it sounds like the kids dad will be happy to answer every one of them.
@@Nameless82284 that too, if they had done something drunk. That way, it would be cheating, but they would not be in the right mind while drunk, so it can be excused(I won't but some people may). That can be called "kinda cheating"
literally she could have just talked and waited for the circumstances to change for whatever dead bedroom situation to blow over. Not only did she seek the arms of somebody else. She actively chose to neglect the proper course of action continuously right up until she did the thing she couldn’t ever revoke. Play a stupid game. Win a stupid prize
She did try to sort of talk to him in the beginning and he brushed her off. Although, she still shouldn't have cheated. I do agree with you with the other parts though but I wouldn't put 100% blame on OP this time. I give her 90% blame since she literally could just do an actual talk, be honest about what's going on, tell husband to dial back since dead bedroom is a major cause of relationships ending.
@@Fire-Manz "Hey, what's going on?" is not enough with what she was feeling and dealing with. If she felt lonely and needed affection and intimacy with her husband, then why be subtle about talking about it? All she had to do was tell him that she understands he's working hard to provide, but she misses him emotionally and in the bedroom and that it has really been digging at her lately. With that, the ball would be entirely on his side and he would be the one who had provide answers and solutions. If he instead said that he didn't care then the whole situation would've gone way differently, instead of her loosing the moral ground by cheating cause she didn't bother to voice her feelings to her husband.
@@Fire-Manz If someone cheats there's no extra. Don't like how your relationship is going? Show on your actions you want a change, treat your SO the best you can, if nothing changes then it's truly dead, get a divorce. Instead she choose to cheat, blame is 100% on her.
@@yRaven. The cheating is all on her but problems in a relationship isn't is what I'm saying. All she had to do is put her foot down and explain, if he chose to ignore her after that she should have just broke it off. No, she chose the easy way out without giving her marriage, partner, or anything a real chance. She did try a little in the beginning but fell off, then found an excuse to cheat,
@@Fire-Manz Regardless of what was happening with her husband cheating was never the answer, if that much was enough to get to cheat then she should've just gone for the divorce option. Honestly, that confuses me she wanted to only stay married because of her son, but cheating was only going to hurt her son in the long run and plus its not like she would've been able to hide it forever, at that point she should've just gone for the divorce option and if that was such a big decision for her then she really should've tried harder to try and get the relationship to still work such as actually being an adult and try to communicate with her husband and tell him she wanted to seriously talk to him. I'll even entertain the idea of the husband not wanting to tell and continuing to be neglectful, at that point going through a divorce would've been a lot less painful than the blowout that would've happened once he figured out she was cheating. The ironic thing being the reason she even chose to stay married ie to keep her son, ended up being taken away from her because of her cheating and again its not like she was doing her son any favors with that. Only thing I can give the OP is that they at least seem to take much greater responsibility than any other cheater story I've seen.
This so much, lmao. Literally said right before this that they would still be married if it wasn't for her husband's lack of intimacy/attention. As if that justified her infidelity. And THEN contradicted herself by saying what you quoted.
@@ianwulf24 But if he wasn't going above and beyond to build their families financial stability, she would have found another reason to cheat for that sole reason also. "Oh you're not provide the Dream lifestyle I always wanted." Women want everything and have no accountability.
This sounds like a cheater trying to rationalize what they did and shift the blame to the other spouse. My guess is she was emotionally abusive and neglectful and drove him away.
"Jay was a good person." Ma'am, he knowingly flirted and slept with a married woman and did not care about the harm it would cause to your husband or your son. He is anything but.
i dont think blame is the right word. she provided context to show that she didn't cheat because she wanted to add a new schlong to her pokédex just to expand the collection. their marriage was wack, husband oblivious and completely checked out of the relationship. wife had zero communication skills (but still more than husband) and was unhappy for a long time while it only kept getting worse. both of them shit the bed.
@@clintshidwood4511I’ll remember this when a guy steps out on his wife when she stressed with work or taken care of of the kids and decides to check out because she’s overwhelmed. Y’all are pathetic
@@flamingrage100Look, neglecting your spouse WILL OPEN TEMPTATION. I don't care how loyal you are, if your spouse is neglecting time, communication, and intimacy with you, every other person outside of your marriage is going to start looking more attractive. Marriage is not something where you marry someone, then forget about them because they have to stay with them. No, it's something that you are supposed to be giving all of your undivided attention to EVERYDAY. If your job puts you in a position where you are too tired to tend to your spouse, then you need to quit that job, no matter how well it pays. Find a job that is more flexible, but don't neglect your spouse, then get shocked when demons are able to entice your spouse. And it doesn't even have to take you taking your spouse on dates everyday. You can do small gestures of love for your spouse and thats better than what this husband was doing. He wouldn't even kiss his wife. He gave all of his affection to their son. Of course she was going to look elsewhere for affection. It would be different if he was giving her all the affection she wanted and she still cheated, but that's not the case here.
I picked up on her saying that her son was everything to her... but like, was he really though? I mean, initially her son's happiness was worth less than a one-night-stand. And then being with her son was not as important as the thrill of public sex... and then ...and then.. and then.... like damn lady do you not hear your own words? dang!? lol
There are many cases in which she could get sole custody. But given he works for Google, and goes to the office, we can assume they are likely in California. California is a "No-fault" divorce state, which means neither party has to give a reason for divorce, and a judge will not factor in disputes, including infidelity with regard to division of assets and custody. So assuming they are in fact in CA, and not working out of a satellite office in another at-fault state, the fact that she cheated will have no influence on custody. She has no permanent residence, and is staying in her company's apartment accommodations. For any unfamiliar with this, it's common for Insurance companies, hospitals, law firms etc who entertain long-term clients to maintain apartments rather than paying to put them up in a hotel. So many companies have vacant apartments that can be used in an emergency. But this would work against her in a custody dispute. The husband would get sole custody in the short-term, with her getting visitation rights, and the courts will schedule another hearing in 6-12 months to re-evaluate if her living arrangements change. Her income isn't a huge factor for the courts provided it's sufficient to support a child. But for what it's worth, she may make more than he does. Account Managers at insurance companies can make a small fortune. But that's an ambiguous title, others make peanuts. The story doesn't give us a lot of insight into their finances. Short of abuse, incarceration, addiction, etc, it's generally uncommon for either parent to get sole custody in such a case. He only got it because she elected an uncontested divorce. Had she listened to her lawyer, she would have had joint-custody by default (again, assuming they're in CA). The husband played his hand very well. OP conflates feelings of guilt with accountability, which is why I'm sure they could never reconcile, she expressed her guilt many time but took zero accountability in the story. She thinks those are the same thing, lol. He exploited that and got everything he wanted in the divorce. Accountability would have meant telling her son (in an age-appropriate manner) what she had done, but she couldn't face that. And it's not like the kid will never find out, so she just delayed the inevitable. She gave up her own child to postpone his finding out about the affair by a couple years at most, and I think the kid will fault her even more for that. But that's what made her feel better in the moment, and feeling good in the moment is all she seems to prioritize, which is how she ended up here, and she STILL doesn't see it... I feel sorry for her, how does someone get their head that far up their own ass?
@@Arkryal Couldn't agree more, the husband would've not had a winning hand at all if she just grew a pair and admitted what she did to her son. I do slightly disagree in that she could've fought for joint custody as the husband mostly likely would've then threaten her with telling their son to get her to step down and given everything she's done she probably would step down. Like I said in another comment, only thing I can commend OP is for being more responsible than any other cheater on Reddit telling their story and not being as entitled as most, since a lot of stories there'd be some satisfaction in that most are so in their ways they refused to admit what they did was wrong or deal with the consequences, but this one is the definition of pitiful like its not even satisfying its just sad how they knew they were doing something wrong the entire time but kept it up away.
@@reflex9238 its not about "growing a pair" if her son hates her she's fucked. He can pick who he lives with past a certain age. and she's not getting any child support if he lives because she's a cheating cunt.
as if anything short of a kowtow at you your feet and a "im a dirty little whore who deserves eternal anguish and misery. please, a thousand lashings for my back, mr Jimmy Legs, and a thousand more for my front" would be considered adequate repentance by your kind. both these people threw their marriage away. but ye sure, woman bad because she gave context about cracks in her marital life before the affair. she should have have made a one sentence post where there is no backstory or updates or plot. nothing. just a bare bone confession and then a prompt self delete
@@clintshidwood4511 sounds like you're reading more into my comment than what was there. Maybe this one hit you a little too personally, or maybe your reply was meant for a different comment? Regardless, best of luck with whatever you're dealing with.
@@clintshidwood4511 its not that at all. she isn't actually taking responsibility for her actions and it shows. she is constantly "subtly" pointing fingers. every time she says she was in the wrong its followed by or after a bunch of self justifications. Cheating isn't a whoops a daisy. its not a mistake. its a calculated decision to betray. its a decision that a cheater makes over and over and over. lies manipulations and showing throughout it all that they feel no remorse using their spouse against their will. Not being down to be cuddly and sexual with your spouse isn't a betrayal. its dropping the ball. letting your self and spouse down. cheating is just betrayal. plain and simple.
OP is so annoying, she was mad at her ex-gusband because he didn't have time for her, she didn't even try to voice the problem to him and straight up started cheating and then she has the NERVE to be mad at him because he didn't trust her to keep their son safe after he was sent to the hospital because of flu and she wasn't there AND he cant trust her to not turn his son against him, which from the video looked like his son was the world for him so yea I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for her, she is a cheater who just try to put all the blame she can(saying she cheated because he didn't have time for her and that he didn't care for her as she proceed to cheat on him) on her ex, she deserved the things that happened to her
She did try and voice the problems, but only once, ONLY ONCE! And based on the conversation, it was just about intimacy and not about how he was not interacting with her and the lack of care for her. All she needed to do was just to have an actual conversation with him, if not multiple. Instead, she had an affair with someone as terrible as she was and just disconnected from her married life.
@@brighamemfield174 exactly I dont think talking once and even then about the most not important problem is not voicing your problem its more like I "tried" "so anything that I do from her is ok"
This story from her is sketchy. Her boss actively encourages her to sleep with clients, which tells me this wasnt her first time cheating, just the first time she was caught. The husband lost attraction to her after his promotion most likely due to finding out about all the "clients" from other company executives cause they tend to gossip about that. Husband was just waiting for physical proof of her sleeping with clients. No sane person would allow themselves to be pimped out by their boss, instant lawsuit. Boss knew her character... so yeah, shes lying. Husband went cold blooded for a reason.
ikr, everytime she tell she being whore there is always "but" LMAO. trying to justify her action and i think she just want some outside support since she got none.
very cool story that you came up with there. maybe you should write one of these reddit posts too. i like how the womang gets extra bodies put of her scoreboard, she's actually the office bike and was being pimped by her boss, mr slickback, the whole time obviously. while the the guy replacing the old dishwasher model with a 30 year old nanny weeks/a month after the custody hearing doesn't raise even a cursory eyebrow. yep yep yep, zero bias here. totally a sexually active individual. also definitely an intellectual as indicated by the extraordinary ability to read between the lines and decipher "hey be friendly with client so he thinks the company cares about him as a person and hence can provide a personalized accounting(i forgot, was she accountant? real estate? wtv) service" into "yeh just suck he dik, trust, itll be mad stonks bro" dude, wakey wakey. everyone in this post sucks. husband checked out of marriage, put zero effort into intimacy of ANY sort for god knows how long. she has zerp communication skills. she cheats. he uses 5 year old child as a weapon and a shield, very classy. no heroes here, just flawed people who are kinda bad at adulting.
@@clintshidwood4511 Because those stories are ALL fabrications, right? I'd tell you the story of my last ex, but you'd write it off as fiction even though I have VIDEO of her f-ing clients for sales.
@@clintshidwood4511nah mate. Husband is 45. Stress n office work could shut down libido. And not all guys could be articulate in expressing their stress. Some just shut up. Also, if she wants the D, she could blow him up. Or seduce, or dress sexy lingerie....or soapland massage.... Or watch pron together or something....
Is that most women normally tend to do??? Do everything and anything than to ACCEPT ACCOUNTABILITY FOR HER OWN ACTIONS!!! And even if u do (like in this story), *gaslight others in believing that I may be wrong, but it's not MY FAULT*
"Not becuase he trusted me, but because he couldn't be bothered" what... if he didn't trust you then he would've instantly realized you are having an affair.
The way I saw it, is she was so desperate for attention that she would've wanted it even if it was negative attention, which is just beyond sad at that point, the fact that even got to this point is just insane, she should've just spoken with her husband about their relationship before deciding to get railed by someone other than her husband.
@@putent9623 the issue is he did suspect something, but because he was already cold and distant (not just busy and hard at work) once he was suspicious nothing changed
"son is 5 years old.....knowing something like that would break his heart" NOW YOU CARE A LOT ABOUT YOUR SONS HEARTBREAK? WHEN YOU DID SHIT WITH ANOTHER MAN YOU DIDNT REMEMBER ABOUT YOUR SON????
I noticed throughout this story that She literally based her closeness to her husband by their amount of sexual intimacy. Not about how he works every day to help provide, not how he DOES trust her enough to not question her when she gives vague responses. And she had no direct communication with him about her feelings, just again, vague, little things to him. He’s just being a man and she blames him for literal infidelity
Every person in this story is awful. They’re all selfish and self centred. She’s stupid to cheat and to be surprised there consequences and to try to blame anyone else but herself. I’d find it funny if anyone would try to justify her actions. Jay is shit for approaching a married woman and partaking in the affair knowing she had a child. And her husband is shit because he prioritised money over his family. Children don’t care about money they only remember when their parents aren’t there. They sounds like a well off middle class family and he could have tried to have a better work life balance to actually see his child once in a while. They both work so it’s not like they were struggling for money for him to have to work harder. He was just greedy at the expense of his child. I only feel sorry for the poor kid, he’ll grow up being parented by nannies because both his parents are cu**ts who are too selfish to take care of him after bringing him into this world.
That woman seriously rationalizes how she couldn't continue seeing her affair partner, because its "too reckless" right after destroying her marriage by cheating in the first place. You can't make this shit up.
That's what's so interesting is how fast it was. She made it seem like it was years of neglect, but it was just a few months. A few months where it seems her husband was working real hard in the office to provide more for the family. Kinda something you should probably do when your child is real young, to setup your family for the coming years. She couldn't weather the storm for a few months...
Unable to accountability unable to be honest unable to tell the truth Unable to voice there opinions I don’t feel sorry for cheaters You wanna know why? Because they’re not willing to do either of those things
I think revenge was emphasized for the ex using their son basically as blackmail, and then very shortly after the divorce, getting with the Nanny purely to cause the cheater pain, seeing the man she "loved" so dearly with another woman, and SoOoOoOoOooOOOooooOo soon after their divorce.
@@StevenThePhoneHead honestly even those don't really seem vengeful motivated to me. The thing with the son was probably rather motivated from a desire to be there for his son rather than keep her away (otherwise he wouldn't let her visit like that) and I don't think he'd marry the nany if he just dated her to spite his ex (and can't really blame him for being a little gleeful about it hurting her to see him with someone else as a byproduct)
@@StevenThePhoneHead Yeah but why would he want his son to be even partly raised by a girl who messes over her whole family for an adrenaline rush and refuses to take accountability? If she truly cared about her son she'd be willing to admit herself to her wrongdoings at an age-appropriate time and maybe they could have joint custody.
Solid proof that people cheat over low self-esteem, and lack of attention. Imagine ruining your family because you don't FEEL as desired as you once were; because you need attention like a child. Closed mouths don't get fed. She can blame her ex-husband as much as she wants but she had the ability to make it known how she felt and didn't. The ball was in her court, and she didn't do anything yet blames him constantly.
Her biggest mistake was not respecting herself and her husband enough to set the boundaries and explain her needs. YOUR NEEDS AND BUNDARIES are the most important thing you can discuss with your significant other.
I know right, lies. She didn't "kind of cheated" she just straight up cheated. Kind of cheating would be like he kissed her and she kissed him back before realizing what she was doing. That's kind of cheating
That’s a massive difference than 5 years. 5 is far too young. You were much older and able to decide for yourself, do many more activities and cope being away from your family.
She could’ve talked about how to get her needs met, instead she got horny and went with another guy. The fact she cut of contact with Jay seemingly forever just shows it was never love. She threw everything away for a fling. She also threw her kid away, and I hope that realization does the least amount of damage possible when he figures it out.
yes! the realization that marriage takes two people, not one or as is in this case, zero people, to actually function in a healthy manner. maybe he'll learn that you got to interact with spouse, at least /sometimes/; so fingers crossed new wife doesnt cheat and leave in new BP time. old wife could really benefit from learning how to communicate using words and pauses between those words so as to relay her thoughts to beings who lack the ability to read minds. jay should start a closet company or something, idk. marry a Latina maybe?
Honey, you thought you were in clear all this time, but that period of bliss for you was really just your husband gathering evidence and keeping it on the down low. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, which is something you were going to have to learn at some point.
This story was the definition of pitiful, most cheating stories always tend to have a satisfying climax mostly because most cheaters from a lot of these stories tend to be so entitled in refuses to admit wrong doings or seeing how consequences were going to arrive for their actions, but this OP continued to cheat despite knowing it was wrong which just makes it all the more worse, like alright the husband is being neglect but that's not a get out of jail free card to just cheat and given how she brought up the possibility of divorce before she started seeing anyone because she felt so neglected but didn't want to do so because she wanted to "stay for the kid" is asinine and even then that should've been a wake up call to try and exhaust every possibility in trying to make her marriage work like you know actually communicate with her husband instead of letting herself get ignored hoping that he'll magically pick up on her being depressed, if she can't communicate or doesn't make the effort to communicate with her husband he's not given a chance to try and fix his marriage and that falls on her for being terrible at communicating. I'll entertain the idea okay, let's just say she was never able to get him to talk or whatever because he's "so busy" or they do talk and all her concerns fall on deaf ears, that's no reason to fricking cheat. Honestly that would mean the husband himself is checked out of the marriage and doesn't care to try and make her feel wanted which still doesn't mean to cheat it means to file for divorce as there'd be no other reason to stay "for the kid" which makes things worse in the long run and that's exactly how this ended as now she was barely able to see her kid anymore because of her refusal to make any logical decision. It's as I stated before there's just no satisfaction in this story as its just pitiful.
- For sure. Still, girls can't live on just food and water, they are fueled by attention. You can't just stop being intimate for that long and barely show any interest and not expect them to lose their minds. They obviously should have talked about that, but its still a predictable outcome if you suddenly stop with the D injections.
Husband was probably cheating. He can't be that busy for months, most software developers usually have gaps in their contracts to have time off and many good companies actually encourage time off.
I fail to see where the guy "wasn't a good husband." He is working to ensure you have a good life with minimal worries and that your child is looked after and loved. So because he's not entirely intimate with you for a time, you cheat. That's just h0e behavior.
He wasn't working and doing the promotion for the betterment of his family, that's just a lie he was telling himself. If he was, he would've taken a day off to take his wife on a date instead of making her the live in maid and nanny. The fact that he married the live in nanny shows this is probably what his relationships with women is like, and I'm positive he will do the exact same thing of ignoring her to focus on his career and then lying to himself that its for the family.
Yea. she "kinda" cheated, and "kinda" destroyed her marriage and family. It's amazing how she can rationalize cheating on her husband by him "ignoring" her. She didn't describe her actions of her cheating and affair as "revenge" for him "ignoring her But when he caught her cheating, and waned her removed from his and his son's life. She described his actions is "Revenge". Lol. amazing.
I like how in this entire thing she never made an attempt to try talking to the husband about how she feels neglected and went straight to having an affair. while i don't condone using the son against her, she deserved what she got overall for breaking the marriage, without even attempting to communicate. how sad
that's because she's lying. cheaters always jump on the "its the relationships fault" band wagon. they don't cheat because they are simply bad people. no. they have to justify it to others and themselves as "the relationship with my spouse got so bad that i cheated." because then they aren't at fault. they get to spread the fault around and victim blame their spouse. The truth is they loved the relationship just fine. in fact they liked that their spouse was checked out. makes cheating easier. they get to eat their cake and have it too. one spouse at home for boring stuff like kids and bills and chores.... and another for "fun" and "excitement". so when caught.... they blame the relationship and their inability to communicate. but the truth is... in most cases, there was no problem in the cheaters eyes besides loss of attraction and wandering lust fueling them... they would prefer if they could go back to secretly cheating. its soooooooo exciting for them.
Love the part where she sits her husband down and talks about how she misses spending time and being intimate with him when he was working the extra hours... oh wait, she just went and cheated without ever talking about it and blamed him for it. Lol, she even tried to shirk responsibility to the Jay guy, saying he knew that she was married with a kid... yet she only "kinda" cheated... Nice.
i love how she painted him as a bad husband the entire time. but he was working that much and that hard FOR her, and their son. and then she was upset that he came home early after the divorce... yeah, he had 1 less dead weight to work for now.
kinda crazy how she keeps talking abt losing her son and how sad she is bc of it when it's 100% her fault. When u cheat, not only r u cheating on spouse but the child too
OP's delusional : - She can drop the "kinda cheated", like it's a mild mistake to do and you should be ok with it. - Software engineers have immense work on their shoulders, so yeah, him working extra hours and being tired is a thing - "If maybe I waited instead of cheating"... No. If maybe you "COMMUNICATED" is the right statement. It's like saying "Oh well if he truly knew me, he would see". Time to grow up if you want your marriage to work. - You took him what was dear for him, he'll take what's dear to you from you. Fair share amirite ? - I'm pretty sure if he had time for the kid, it's because he had to ask for extra time at work due to him being a single parent during that time.
Weaponizing a child in a divorce still makes him a major asshole. Wife is a slut, don't get me twisted, but leave your fucking kids out of the divorce.
hey little timmy. mommy is a whore. she doesn't love daddy anymore, she sleeps with other daddies now. we will not be a family anymore, it is joever timmy. mommy is a betrayer and a liar. wicked woman who stabbed me in the back. timmy. come closer. mommy is *leans in to timmys ear and softly whispers* a biiiiiiiiiiiiitch. definitely not trying to sabotage any chance of a healthy relationship little five year old timmy should have with his birth giver. lets fuck with timmys brain and take 1 of the 2 most precious and trustworthy people that timmy has in his life and unmask her as the devil. there is 0 chance that this could have a life long phycological effect on someone. i hear that incels have awesome relationships with their moms so timmy has nothing to worry about, right?
It doesn't sound like there was anything abnormal about their relationship- other than She was a terrible Wife. I heard nothing at all in the whole Story that indicated that he was bad- only her trying to justify her own terrible behavior. In fact this sounds just like a normal long term relationship. Dude is a hero- I love the way he ended it, well played! I just don't get how People can get online and tell a Story like this and not expect to get decimated. It's weird how non-self-aware some People are- how does She not plainly see that in Her own words that the Husband did absolutely nothing to deserve this. She just says he's a 'bad Husband' and 'neglectful', other than that she literally mentions nothing else wrong with him- she's projecting that she neglected to ever talk to him about how she felt and was a bad wife by cheating.... folks, be careful judging others- when you do, be mindful and ask yourself if you're not maybe looking in a mirror =\
No hes kinda a jerk. I think that hes using the son to hurt her. I get she did him wrong but using the kid as a weapon is disgusting and bad parenting plus it also seems like hes using beth i dont think he loves her and is just using her...idk tbh i felt bad for him up till he used the kid as blackmail he shouldn't have gotten cheated on but using the kid is just pitiful
@@princessqueen6881 Yeah, but using the son as blackmail only happened AFTER he told her he knew she was cheating. Before that point, it seemed like he was just a normal guy, working hard to provide for his supposedly loving wife and precious son. As for Beth, I think there's a chance she may have been there to support him emotionally after having to deal with a cheating wife, she was already well acquainted with their son, and she had built an established rapport with the ex-couple as a very good person, cheater even says so after everything has happened.
@@princessqueen6881 Why would he want his son to be even partly raised by an immature girl who is fine to destroy her family for a bit of D and an adrenaline rush and refuses to take accountability? If she truly cared about her son she'd be willing to admit to her wrongdoings at an age-appropriate time and maybe they could have had joint custody, but instead she got what she deserved.
Did anyone else pick up the husband saying he wanted to take them on an international trip? That would imply that he wanted to surprise them. If so, it would explain why he worked so many hours and why he was too tire....
Still not a good excuse to neglect the wife. At least he could have said something like: I'm planning a huge surprise for our family! I'm sorry for feeling so tired all the time, and I appreciate your patience! LOVE YOU??? Maybe give her a peck? He wouldn't have passed out from saying and doing these things
@@saltykitty9215 Ummm....yeah. Still not good excuse to cheat, isnt it? Well....theres no good excuse for cheating. Maybe...she could....seduce him? Then it wouldnt be a surprise, would it?
I thought “kinda cheating” would be talking with someone else that could remotely be considered flirting. Not full blown sleeping with someone else multiple times. There is no “kinda” about that.
“He wasn’t a good husband” because he worked long hours? You had a nice house, right? Both you and your son had plenty to eat? The bills were all paid? International vacations, it sounds like?
and you're conveniently forgetting that she had a job, too... and she had time and energy for their kid and her husband yet he hadn't. They also had a nanny that he happened to marry soon after... He was just a manipulative bastard in this story.
No, the husband was also cheating, he married far too quickly and did his nanny way too quickly, he just used his ex wife’s cheating as a get out of jail free card. The husband is just as bad.
I have a strong feeling that the husband was sleeping with Beth while this was going on and just took advantage of the situation while he could. Calculated move if so.
Nah. Nope. Well, yes, its not an impossibility. In his defence, based on OP story, hes stressed, always at work, and hes 45....in midlife crisis phase. At such age, with such job (different than physical job)....theres a good chance that libido would decrease. And Beth only enter the picture after the kid is home. The low segg have appeared since the begining of the story and has been going on more than 2 months. And....shes not communicating...shes complaining. She doesnt even seems to want to seduce the hubby....
How pathetic, she did not try to talk to her husband about his working hours, but she then proceeded to have an affair. And throughout the whole video I can only hear excuses, and she even dared to say that only after their divorce the husband started going back home early, as if there couldn't be a discussion with him about that before opening her legs.
why do cheaters not just talk it out they always say the other person drove me to it but they never talked to their partner about what they were feeling they just cheat.
You're not allowed to use it an an excuse to the point of habitual neglect. @@TheSm1thers He knew what he was doing and he didn't care at all. He was very wrong here. She was also very wrong here.
@@6sixFace If he's stressed with work and isn't up for sex then that's perfectly valid. He doesn't owe her sex. If it really bothers her, she should express that and find a way to help him destress, she can also try pleasuring herself. You're gonna have periods like that in relationships, it's just how it is.
80/20 cheater. He was giving her 80% of what she wanted. But it wasnt enough, she cheated for a guy who gave her the other 20%. Never works out, and the regret always come when they lose the 80%.
I don't even believe in monogamy - but I DO believe in being faithful. Adultery isn't about the sex, it's about the cheating, the LIES. The BETRAYAL. This woman brought it on herself.
"kinda cheated" bruhh you had a sex multiple times LOL. she chose multiple time to convince herself that she has been neglected and proceed to cheat but no on tell her husband that she need him the most. well you deserved so much.
I know right. Kinda cheating would be like if she kissed another man before pulling away and realizing her mistake, that's kinda cheating. But this is just straight up cheating. What, does she not count it as cheating because she's lonely and her husband was neglectful?
The husband went from google engineer to CIA operator with those investigative skills. He legit remained calm and collected and delivered those papers swifly.
Its always shocking when the cheater feels hurt seeing their ex with someone else. And yet, they are completely oblivious to the pain they caused first.
She gives me narcissist vibes. She's trying so hard to make her ex-husband the villain by justifying all of her actions while trying to paint him in the worst light possible. If you have an issue try marriage counseling or therapy before jumping off the deep end.
If your spouse is tired from long hours, that's for YOUR benefit. If you're not as tired, the really cool thing you can do with that extra energy is be supportive. Maybe a nice meal, maybe fresh sheets, maybe some words of love and encouragement. You'd be fucking surprised how that small effort motivates them to at least try to be there for you more the next day. Obviously the next day because their body wont magically rejuvinate. But you WILL mentally exhaust them by making it all about you, and being nasty about their downtrodden state. They'll start spending more time in the car in your driveway just to avoid talking to you. This is before marriage ending shit like cheating occurs. She's got all this extra energy. Could have used it to make the marriage stronger. " I was lonely/bored". Sounds like you have the extra energy needed to spice up the relationship all on your fucking own...like an adult. And then when you're tired, it'll be their turn to love bomb you. That's how a real marriage works.
Yeah for how long? A month? 6 months? A year? This marriage was doomed long before this. Tired and promotion are classic men excuses for when they don't care about their partner anymore, but are too big of coward to admit it. Especially when he oh so conveniently had the time to come home early after the divorce and got to marry the nanny so quickly...
@@Kosac07 Or, wild suggestion, relationships go through ebbs and flows, don't bail out as soon as it ebbs. A newly promoted software engineer at Google will go through career schedule difficulties and be a bit tired from the new responsibilities, who could've ever seen that coming? Men aren't robots that have to do everything perfectly without any loss of energy no matter what life changes happen. And blaming him for something another grown human being did says more about you than him.
Oh wow. The ol’ “If only my husband had given me more attention” bullshit. Zero accountability taken. Glad the ex husband chased after the 30 year old nanny, well done.
I've listened to too many of these. I'm getting mad hearing "he was attractive, I didn't know what I was doing" Women will do literally anything to avoid accountability. They'll literally make up fairy tales
As a man, I can can safely say that this was 100% his fault for being an utter, insensitive moron. Unless he actually didn't care about his wife in the first place, wanted to get out of the relationship, but at the same time wanted to have something on her, so he pushed her into that direction where she can take the blame and fall. I've seen that happen before on both sides... People can be really manipulative. You cannot expect your partner to stay with you forever if you don't fulfill their emotional needs and for women that's extremely important. No amount of money and "I was doing this for us and our future" can save you. If you were already well off before promotion, then you're doing this just for yourself buddy. And unless you're ready to work extra hard at work and at home, you'll have to give up on one. It's interesting how he suddenly had so much more time at work to come home early to take care of their child AFTER she left. He couldn't have done that before, no? The man made his choice a long time ago. And to separate the kid from his mother in the end... just to quickly find another, much weaker woman (in status), just right after as if he were buying a slave with his money... what an absolute bastard. She was weak, or rather, not rational enough (emotions are much stronger in and more important to women and often cloud their judgment) to realize that he had no interest in her for quite some time and that everything was over long before she had an affair. She wanted to have her emotional needs fulfilled and have a family which is only natural and it worked fine until husband ditched her for some other more important stuff to him. If you really love someone and say that you care, you wouldn't let them feel so neglected and miserable to begin with, but no, then it's her fault for wanting attention which you were supposed to give in the first place. She shouldn't have cheated (that was just a quick fix that doesn't solve the core problem, like eating candy or a drinking a cup of water to stave off hunger), yet confront her husband seriously once more before anything had happened. If things hadn't changed then threaten divorce and slowly prepare for moving to the next step. I know it's hard, you want to believe and hope that everything will be back to normal, but it won't. No matter how hard it is, use the rational part, analyze the situation and evidence and act accordingly. Impulsiveness always leads to suffering in the end... tl;dr I wanna punch the bastard husband and tell the woman to become stronger and improve the control over her emotions more.
@@Lp-army1 didn't you hear the part where she confronted him several times and asked what is the problem, why doesn't he like her, did she do something wrong only to always get the same template answer of pure disinterest "I'm tired". When a man does that for several weeks or even months, it's pretty much over... No amount of "i'm doing this for us" excuse can save him, he just doesn't want to admit it's over and slowly pushes her away. Being a husband is much more than simply being a walking bank, especially when your wife has a solid carrer, too. Makes you wonder why he chose to marry the nanny after, a person with little to no prospect which he can much more easily control. She also didn't "immediately go" into cheating. It was a situation that developed for quite some time, too. From the point he started ignoring her to her meeting the client, building the relationship with him and then eventually cheating. The timeframe is in no way several days, rather several months. And at no point did he try to stop her or try to work on their relationship even when had his first suspicions. When you relly love your partner you wouldn't put them in such a situation in the first place and you'd want to do everything to make things better, but what did he do? He didn't confront nor talk openly with her even when he found out. Yet only used that as some kind of bargaining chip. He had zero interest in her for a very long time and everything else were pure excuses for which she fell for and took the blame for being too weak, afraid and not rational enough to understand what was going on. She didn't want to believe it 'till the very end. That's why she was so hesitant with the "kinda cheating." She cheated with her body, but her mind and heart was with her family. Happens way to often with either partner unfortunately...
So when _he_ says "You won't do me because you don't love me" it's manipulative, but when _she_ does it, it's a 'cry for help' that justifies subsequent cheating. Got it.
@@trillkevin7632 and why would he cheat if his wife initiated intimacy? he needs to have hatred of years for her to be like this which is also cant be because he showed that he care for her to some degree as he asked her where she was or if she is okay
Lol he's the bad guy that made her cheat, she's so noble for staying and keeping the peace while cheating and then she's the victim and he's evil when he takes full custody and has the nerve to feel a type of way when he moved on after the divorce....LOL talk about zero accountability.
This woman wouldn't recognize real love if it hit her in the face. She just seeks attention, and so when she didn't get any from her hardworking husband, she cheated with the first guy who gave her some attention instead of communicating her feelings to her husband. Also, she's claiming that Jay is oh so understanding bla bla bla, but that's bs. He's so "understanding" because he doesn't have any commitment to OP, so he's treading lightly so he doesn't lose his thrilling bootycall affair.
I'm not sure if it's the POV or what, but the husband comes off a bit cruel and cold. I get worrying about your child's safety after she failed to pick him up from school, but you need to separate your want for revenge from depriving your child of their mother. This is another cheating is always wrong, but inattention sets your partner up for failure story. Also if you're divorcing her, why is it your business who she dates?
@@SchoolVideosGoHere it's simple. She cheated with her body to have her needs satisfied, but not with her heart and mind. The brain didn't want to accept it.
Its so crazy the way that she could NEVER talk about the wrong she did, without pointing and explaning that it was all somehow her husbands/the situations fault, she knows she is in the wrong, but wasn't HER to BE wrong somehow, crazy how her trusting and VERY HARD WORKING husband is a monster, but she spins the tale and says how ''jay was a good person'' the dude that knew he was homewrecking. Woman.
Am I the only one who thinks OP's Ex was having an affair of his own with the nanny? Just the fact he _conveniently_ was able to find the time to come home early when the noose tightened around OP's neck makes me feel he wasn't at work this whole time and the fact he started sleeping with Beth after OP was out of the house seems fishy. Since Beth would leave after OP got home, she'd meet the Ex at a hotel or something then they'd do it. If that is the case, the Ex is definitely more in the wrong as not only did he start his affair first, he was able to have his cake and eat it too by turning the tables on OP before his own was found out.
Only problem I see is that if the story is true (other commenters says it is fake), we only got one side of the story. The OP may have left some details out to make her seem more sympathetic.
I don't think he was having an affair, he left home early and got home later. Even the op stated that . The nanny was there most of the time. He didn't conveniently find time after she moved out he had the responsibility of his kid to worry about now, and I'm pretty sure he also did it bc of her.
I mean bro was a good provider and good father, i could see the nanny taking on the opportunity now that she could be the lady of the house that she used to work
We know he's a software engineer and got promoted. He could just be adjusting to his new role or dealing with a deadline. You often have to work extra hours around deadlines, especially if you work at a big company like Google.
Even with OOP being annoyingly selfish, I can't shake the feeling the Ex-husband and the nanny had something going on for far longer... just a gut feeling. Too quick on moving on...
@@ChaosAngel667 possible. But still, read too many cheater stories. They can be a sneaky bunch. And we have only her account. In the end it doesn't matter, though. The outcome would be the same anyway.
@@ChaosAngel667he got her into his bed way too quickly and married her soon after. That’s more than a coincidence, he was cheating and used his ex wife’s infidelity as a get out of jail free card so he had a reason to leave her for the nanny. They’re both awful.
@@ClappedYourdadzCheeks hardships bring people together. For example, what if the guy was going through something difficult like a divorce or getting cheated and the nanny was the only person he could relly on?
TAKE THE L AND COPE! Because you're still not hold yourself accountable for your actions and honestly ... what he did in return was mild to said the least. Also i will be glad to listen the other side, because i think this going beyond one time.
I never understood how when a woman is hard working and has no time for the kids its “shes a hard worker who needs time to herself” but have the roles reversed and its “what a deadbeat, what a terrible father”
- It just sounds off that the guy would so suddenly stop being intimate. Even with working more, to lose all labido is sus, especially since with its loss also went his need for any sort of emotional intimacy and no interest in checking for a medical issue. Its predictable that if you withhold intimacy and especially if you ignore a girl she will suddenly be accepting attention from someone else. They have guys just lined up waiting for husbands to screw up and pounce when their wives are horny and feeling rejected. Since he moved on so fast with Beth Id not be surprised to find out he wasn't as tired as he was saying and was getting some from the Nanny. He might have really liked her, saw how much younger she is and then calculated that with a bit of rejection and some distancing he could just sit back and wait for his wife to get depressed and allow one of her flirty clients to snake in there and allow her to make a mistake he could use to score his family upgrade. Devious if it went down at all like that, but it was the end result so...
That's proof that shes lying about the whole story of he ignored her, though because shes looking for support. The truth is that the man got busy and she started comparing him to Jay.
this seems like a good read of between the lines of what was said by OP: "@deadpatriot4437 15 minutes ago This story from her is sketchy. Her boss actively encourages her to sleep with clients, which tells me this wasnt her first time cheating, just the first time she was caught. The husband lost attraction to her after his promotion most likely due to finding out about all the "clients" from other company executives cause they tend to gossip about that. Husband was just waiting for physical proof of her sleeping with clients. No sane person would allow themselves to be pimped out by their boss, instant lawsuit. Boss knew her character... so yeah, shes lying. Husband went cold blooded for a reason."
I am a software developer and I have seen this happen many times, the women always tell the story like the OP in a way that the man simply cut down emotionally. In truth the woman start nagging and making fights about EVERYTHING! They want the man to earn more income but not to spend more time at work. They even feel entitled for the man to do MORE chores at home since he is doing so much at work anyway. Then the kids get weaponized one way or another. Either the woman guilts the man each time something happens because he is never there and doesnt have time for the kids. Or like in this case the woman guilts the man over only thinking about his kids and feeling neglected. Like in this story they dont want to talk and reach a compromise, they want to have their cake and eat it too. Yes it always ends up with the woman justifying an affair.
I’m usually all for blaming the cheaters, but that man was psychotic AF. Not that she was in the right but the husband is far from innocent especially considering what he did regarding the custody
how can he trust her to keep his son safe? clearly she isn't fit for it and if he asked nicely she would refuse and from what she said, the son has a much better life with his father then if he was with his mother
Can't really say ur right on this buddy. Very nuanced opinion but the thing is she literally cheated... if the man was so bad then she should of divorced him, why did she have to stoop so low??
HOW CAN HE TRUST HER WHEN THE SON GOT HOSPITALIZED WHILE SHE WAS BEING A CHEATING WHORE. your stupid, that father deserved full custody because of the son. What if the sun got seriously injured, like need emergency surgeries. And the wife was out getting her back blown put by Jay. That father was doing everything he could to make sure his family had a great future. Im sure you don't know the befits Google employees get. But they are epic and the father got a promotion. So more benefits for the family. Fyi google gives employees children 1k a month or year( have to search for them employees docs again) until they are 18.
Every time a man cheats every women goes out of their way to insult him, "he's such a pig, Animal!, Gross, Dog, take him for all he's got!)... Everytime a women cheats, "you had no other choice queen, he wasn't good enough for you, He should have done X instead of what he was doing".. No understanding that men are humans and have emotions, problems, thoughts and maybe if these type of women had any shred of human decency they would have some empathy to try and understand that they are not the only person in the world with problems.That might be too much to ask of these women nowadays just from what I've seen for the most part. What is more important then having a man who works his ass off while still being faithful and an amazing father to your son? At that point nothing will make her happy, he made the right choice in the end and she did the only thing I can respect in this whole story and that's not hounding him for HIS assets such a low bar but still better then most.
