My most depressing travel vlog: Cairo, Egypt, mom. 

I lost my mom in April 2020 due to Cancer. She fought for a long time in the hospital. A week before she passed I hadn't heard from her, which was unusual because we texted so often. This was during crazy Covid times and visitations were cut. I was granted permission to be with her when she passed. I spent 16 hours by her side. She was sleeping, but I'd like to think that she knew I was there. When she passed I noticed her phone charge cord was damaged. I feel horrible knowing that she couldnt text me because her phone had died. I had no way of knowing. I pray her last week she didnt feel alone. I wish she could've told the nurse and had someone call me. So many what if's. Thank you for sharing your story. Grief still strikes me at random times and often I turn to youtube videos to keep my mind busy.

immensely grateful to have stumbled upon your videos thru delish - i’ve learnt a lot inside and outside the kitchen watching and cooking along with ya… all of this to say after watching this heartwrenching video: thank you for sharing your perspectives and taste with us, it certainly has changed the way I view the world around me and opened my mind - wishing you all the time and space and peace you need in year 2 ❤️‍🩹💪🏾

Complex, intelligent, strong, sensitive and poetic. Stay you June.

Thank you June…I know this pain all too well. Thank you for sharing your journey…it helps me too.

This made me cry. For my mum, for your mum, and for us left behind. Sending lots of love and hugs. No matter what... our mums love us unconditionally, no matter what. ❤

As per usual, I'm appreciating all the comments, critical or not, and the discussions they are engendering. Thanks for watching, and for participating. Hope you're staying hydrated today.

Dear June, you did a masterful work with this video. The voice over and images are perfectly matched! Your grief process is incredibly insightful! You uniquely put Cairo images as a background for narrating your process. Thank you!!

Cannot believe it has been 10 months. Feels like just yesterday when you shared that your mom died. I lost my father, mother and brother in a span of six years and I'm still in a daze. Thank you for sharing.

This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for this excruciatingly honest exposé about your Mom, the joy, and the ugliness of this world. I was in your chat room last week, still processing the death of my Mom, that occurred on 7/28. This was a gentle reminder that although we see our Mothers as Gods, they are still people, with demons and struggles that we are oblivious to. I hope that you find comfort and peace, knowing that she loved you with all she had and I hope to find the peace you have right now.

You are exactly right. Your mom is a part of you...an extension of you. I hope you find some healing and comfort, because you are wonderful. I have always thought the world of you, and am sending you love from Texas.

June, I adore you and your videos. Thank you for sharing so much with us.

Amazing vlog, June. Beautiful and sad and raw. Thank you for sharing.

June, despite the sadness I feel at your loss in this moment, this is beautiful...I cried... but in a way of understanding as I have been trying to understand my Mom and her life's choices. She was an addict all of my life, but I have loved her and hated her unconditionally if that makes sense. Not hatred in that I loathed who she is, but more loathing of what it was she must've gone through in her life time to make her make these choices, hence leaving me vulnerable to all of it. Loved her for who she was meant to be, hated that she exposed me to so much pain and trauma. Trying to determine who I am supposed to become in all of it. The beauty in having to take a longer road to accepting myself and hoping my children will understand me and love me despite it all, and hoping they know I did the best I could with what I knew. Thank you for sharing this epic piece or your heart...

Just gorgeously poetic. Thank you June, Aaron, and Mom. 💜

Death feels so uncomfortable to face. I admire you for sharing this.

This was so beautiful, June. What a unique tribute to your mom and powerful insight into your grief and healing. All the love. 💕

Thank you for your vulnerable art. What a beautiful love letter.

Watching this has been so therapeutic to me. Your videos are a work of art, I’m mesmerized by your experience. It’s so raw and real and makes me feel not alone. I’m so honored to share your experience with you. Thank you so much for sharing. Sending so much love to you Fred and Aaron ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Thank you June for sharing this journey with us

Sending so much love to u June all the way from Australia ❤️💙💚💜🧡🤍🖤🤎💛 thank you for giving us a glimpse into part of your journey. Please remember that you are amazing and beautiful and loved so much stay strong hun.

Thank you, June. I know this pain, too. It helps me when you share about your mom.

June, I so appreciate your openness and vulnerability. The two of you, you and your Mom, loved each other, and did well in a world that is very hard on women. Love is sufficient.

My goodness. So sorry. I lost my mom at 21. I'm 48 and I still cry uncontrollably when I think of her... at times. The pain never goes away. But it's there along with love, laughter, joy and happiness that you'll never feel entitled to because she's not there to share it with you. It is the worst feeling in the world and that feeling will never get better, you get used to it. You deal with the loss and try to make a new normal that doesn't feel normal. And you will have happiness again and sadness and desire again. And you'll think of her but you will speak to her differently, and the conversation will be different cause you understand her better. It takes time, but you both are worth it. And that voice that tells June... yes you are worth it, that's her. Cherish that you had so much love from an amazing person, few are that fortunate. ❤️🥰

This was therapeutic for me. Thanks, June. I hope you feel a little better every day.

Beautiful and complex, like you June. ❤️ Some dang good looking food too!

I’m honestly so confused that after watching this video and reading the comments apparently all people heard were you talking smack on egypt. Bruh there was so much that went on in the vlog and not once did june talk shtt she literally just showed egypt as it was. How she experienced it. The real egypt where people are working and eating and living. I just don’t understand how we watched the same thing and concluded so many different views. Egypt is beautiful but that doesn’t have to mean it’s the Instagram picture perfect place everyone wants it to be. There’s strays, trash yes but there’s so much life and living happening. Nothing stops for anything, it’s a reminder of what life is like. Real life. If you got triggered by anything in this video, it’s not on june to censor the fucking real world. Just move on with your life and stop leaving unnecessary mean comments on people trying to live there’s. June, this part is for you, you shared the beautiful egypt with us and your most vulnerable time in your life and will forever be grateful for your POV. It’s how the world is, and I for one, am grateful for that.

Finally got around to watching this. My Mother just passed, and our relationship very closely mirrors yours (or at least what I can discern from your own videos, etc.). I can strongly relate to so many things, and this stikes so many chords... thank you June for sharing. This helped me in a way that I cannot explain.

I've been watching you for a long while now, and I just want you to know that I understand. I lost my father December 26, 2021 and it feels just like yesterday. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. You're a beautiful person June; you really are💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you for your authenticity and heart. I'm so sorry for your loss. But you frame it beautifully. The connection you hold with your mom is wonderful. I'm sure she's incredibly proud.

Dear June, I guess it‘s something in the relationship between mothers and daughters that makes you always feel guilty, when she passes away, no matter, what your last words or actions were. I lost my mom 10 years ago and still ask myself from time to time, did I do enough, did I showed up enough, could I‘ve done more? It‘s much easier now than it was the first 1-2 years. You are wonderful just the way you are, June, your mom loved you and please take your time to heal! ❤️❤️❤️🙋🏻‍♀️

Grief is very personal. Every day is a new emotion. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Thank you June for this video. I know the pain you are going through, because I am mourning my mom too. She passed away 12/18/2021.

Thank you for being open about your grief. Since I started following you I have been thinking about my relationship with my parents, what I need to heal and how to be in peace with myself while I am alive. Thanks June✨

My heart bleeds when you said "maybe I killed her" because of your text to her. Please don't torture yourself this way, your mum would have hate it!, she would much rather believe that you have peace in your life. Thank you for all of your work, please carry on taking good care of yourself. Xoxo

Thank you for sharing! Maybe its about letting go of expectations. I've struggled with having high and having low expectations so I try to just let them go. I never had a close relationship with my mom before she passed away. I have come to accept it is what is it. There is always the option to keep moving forward with life and I think she would have wanted that for me. I appreciate and love you June 💜

Thank you for these videos. I feel like I know you. Even though it’s been almost seven years since my daddy left this earth, I still feel the pain, nausea, and pain anytime I allow myself to think of it. Your words give me comfort. Thank you June ❤

June, grief is different for everyone. I’m sorry your grief is still so raw. Ignore any hurtful comments. Finishing this vlog may be the beginning of a new path. Thank you for sharing.

Oh honey, hopes you are doing well June. I pray god to bless you with strength and closure that you needed. And also wishing you good progress on your therapy(if you are seeing one). Hv u in my heart . Love , from your viewer

💖💞❤Wonderful video sharing stay blessed💖❤💞

I am watching this on my mom's birthday and feeling every emotion. She died one week before her birthday too.

hey June, thanks for sharing, it is so precious, thank you/

Oh man, I cannot get through this video. It breaks my heart. Sending love and strength to you June xxx

Maybe you should send another film similar to this one to some documentary film festival. I really appreciate your quality and filmmaking skills hand in hand with the depth of your emotional input.

Thank you for sharing 💕

Dear June, I start to watching your channel after my Dad passed away February,I feel having a lot of connection with you. I am around your mom’s age, have a daughter at your age. I am from Shanghai, have similar college graduation pictures. After watching your video I was shocking discover what kind of image my children will think about me. My children adore me but we disagree a lot, you make me to think how to become a better mother. Thanks a lot. Take care. Love you.

A beautiful video June. Also, I love the part where Aaron requests for more chilli sauce in his Felafil sandwich 😂

Hey June, I lost my dad last year. I used to avoid thinking about it because it was too painful. I'm learning how to deal with it. I'm learning how to remember him without breaking down everytime. It might take forever. But I have to try.

Lost my mom this year as well sorry for your loss.

I like this video, a lot, June. Thanks.

June, you have an excellent documentary. Just love this video. I am just heartfelt by the emotions.

June I am sorry for your loss. I so appreciate that you are sharing your process. My mom is my best friend. I have Told her, "you are Not allowed to die. I would melt into a puddle of goo on the floor" She has always told me that she wants me to be strong, be healthy, and be happy with my life. She told me that I would miss her terribly, but she wants me to have a rich fulfilled life. I rolled my eyes(inside where she would not see me) and thought "right. Not going to happen" But sharing this small part of your experience gives me some hope that I would be able to work through my grief, and still find small happiness in life. I think that I am an honest person. my mom taught me to never lie to myself. You are being true and honest in your process. Thank you.

I love you June hope you are well!

There’s something about the relationship of mothers and daughters that is just indescribable like a universal constant and that tie that you explained around 20:00 min in feels like that. It also reminds me of a book I read called joy luck club that’s specifically about the relationship of Chinese mothers and daughters living as first generation immigrants in America. I’m not Chinese but it struck a chord in me despite the cultural difference so much of the story is around the tie of being a mom to a daughter and that push and pull of what they want for the daughter (or really what they want for themselves projected onto the daughters) and what the daughters need as their own person. Also the recent movie “everything everywhere all at once” is very cathartic, I highly recommend if you haven’t already seen it.

sending love to you angel

Thank you, June. 🖤

about the fatigue part, my mom and I were always connected like that, if i was sick she was sick, if she was unwell i felt it too. even with an ocean between us

So painful, so accurate

Lovely.

Please do more storytelling videos like 👍 this. ❤🎉😊

I love that aaron has a buffalo bills logo on his backpack. Go Bills

I’m in an emotional state for a variety of reasons but one thing I do have is my mom. I’ve only been half listening because I’m preoccupied with my health, trouble at my job, this dumb game I play on my phone, my mental health, my living situation, etc. My mom is getting older and her has had issues with her health. She is a not a perfect person but has always sacrificed herself for others as mothers often do. This video sums up for me so well these complicated feelings I have with her. And while I’m lucky that we’re able to communicate, there are times I am frustrated or impatient. I also feel this tremendous amount of guilt for all these sacrifices she has made and continues to make. I really do not know what I would do with myself were she suddenly not here. Thank you for taking the time to be vulnerable and honest with us to describe your perspective and feelings in your grief.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

This sounds.. possibly horrible, but I really wish I had seen this video soon after my sibling took their own life. It resonates a lot, even though the deaths are so different.. it is still food for thought, the bitter but good for you kind. Medicinal, almost. Sending love.

Egypt is beautiful country

💛💯

What are your views of life. Do you think the energy from them, that pain, can disapate over time but when you grieve your trying to heal so our emotions highten.

❤️

Hugs, xoxo

💜💜💜

how are things?!top vlog.all the best,🤙

Brutally honest

Wow I found the english speaking version of Drachenlord

Oh my! I don’t even know! 1:11am and sobbing for you! Well written, June but I am so sorry you had to say it. 😭

Waiting

Yes, you changed June. In your delish videos it's almost always directly clear (even without looking at the date) if they were pre this incident or post this incident. You have a softer voice now and are in overall more mature, softer and more sympathetic of the suffering and/or ways of others and WHY they possibly could be that way.

This video shown us a really dark and dirty place . In all fairness I'm not surprised you was in very difficult place when you got the news that makes your heart stop . My mother. Passed away too so I get all the pain and hurt but I never imagined you getting the news in a place like that .... It took me four years to get where you are now . I'm impressed with how much you have grown into your skin . Welcome to women hood .... I love the way you are with your nan you have a heart of gold. 💙💙. Sorry for your loss.

I'm going to have to put myself in the proper respectful frame of mind before I watch this one. I can't just dip in before bed like I do the lives....

I don’t disagree, you can’t simply refuse to be your lineage, refuse to express a trait, but i will try, because i have to for me. For me to survive i can’t see my parents again, and I can’t be like them.

i've never been to cairo but it seems... fine, at the very least, with good food. why would you travel to a place on purpose just to shit on it? this take feels so out of touch. good for you? i'm so glad you managed to inspire yourself by concluding that your purposefully chosen travel destination is a shithole but you're incredible for seeing its few redeeming qualities, even as you go back to hating it a minute later. sorry about your mom, but it seems extremely reductive to assume she didn't have an interior life you didn't know absolutely everything about. (also aaron pronounced yemeni wrong. you emphasize the first syllable.)

Don't you think you are going over board with your depression and your greving....maybe you need to get into therapy for your depression and blues after your mom passed away.. Please get some help professionally...

I made it 9 minutes in before I stopped this video. Here's why. As sorry as I am for your loss, I find this video insensitive and hard to watch. A food vlog centred around the streets of Cairo, that are full of starving abandoned abused cats and dogs? Really? All the lingering shots of the animals while you talk about finding beauty etc. How about buying a bag of food for them and sharing it out. That would give you beauty to film. I just don't understand how you can both film and ignore them. I live in UK and I have 4 adopted cats from the streets of Cairo, who were all found in some form of dire need, if they hadn't been found and rescued by the charity that found them they would be dead. One was found in a cardboard box at 4weeks old with eyes so gunky he couldn't open them, one was found so skinny he couldn't walk, one was found with both his top and bottom jaw broken fractured front legs and one eyeball popped out of his socket and the other had injuries consistent with being hit around the head with something like a brick, he had to be force fed for 40 days to keep him alive. He died a couple of years ago due to a brain injury sustained during his attack. To think of my cats living in this place alone abandoned with people like you who are more than capable of helping, just walking passed........

You seriously need to get some help. If you have this much guilt over how awful you treated your mother then maybe stop treating people so cruel...you have no respect for others especially when they don't think like you. Get over yourself. Instead of critiquing everything your mother did...respect it...maybe had you helped her more her life would of been easier. You're selfish.

So sad and so beautiful. The narrative is amazing. @sinead6493