My Partner Speaks Another Language - How to Deal With it When Having Kids (Q&A)

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My partner speaks another language. Does yours too? If you have a foreign language relationship or have an intercultural relationship this video is for you. Check it out and join Multilingual Family here: www.multilingual.family/sign-up
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ON THIS VIDEO:
01:08 → Why we dropped our foreign relationship language
04:00 → Will you learn your partner´s language?
05:25 → Powerful tips for your multilingual family
05:52 → How to support this channel
In this video, I´ll share with you how to deal with the fact that your partner speaks another language when raising multilingual children. Speaking different languages at home is possible and it can work out very well. It doesn´t confuse bilingual children and if you have a foreign language relationship while raising bilingual kids, you should know that sticking to the OPOL method requires you to stick to your language when speaking to your children - even if it feels a bit unusual and strange in the beginning. Being a multicultural couple will enrichen your children´s lives!
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→ CODE-SWITCHING
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→ SHOULD I CORRECT MY CHILD'S SPEECH?
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ABOUT ME:
Welcome to Multilingual Family, your space to dis
cover how to raise multilingual kids successfully.
My name is Andrea Breitenmoser and I'm a teacher, specialized in languages. I was raised bilingual and now I'm raising my children trilingual. Let me share my experiences and know-how with you!
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Опубликовано:

1 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 21

@jodieheffernan6634 11 дней назад

My sons girlfriend's parents talked in there native language.when the cricket 2023 world cup was on so i recorded them than had a fellow worker to translate it and i was shocked.on what they said i hate them and i will never ever talk to them again.people who talk in there native language amongst you are talking smack about you if they do smack them out

@ivannaomelchenko9573 11 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for all your videos. Very useful and interesting! My partner and I live in France (he is proficient, I am B2. Our relationship language is English (both proficient). His native language is Lebanese Arabic. Mine is Ukrainian (although my whole life I was speaking another language, now I only speak Ukrainian with friends and family). So so far we are a bit confused about what strategy to use.

@AskTetsu 4 года назад

My wife understands a lot of what I say to my kids in Mandarin, although she can't speak. As you say, it is a great opportunity for parents to learn at the same time! They're kids, so the level is really easy. But yes, soon enough, if you don't actively try to learn, you will get left in the dust by your kids! 😁

@Xxs0heavenxX 3 года назад

Wow, I'm so happy I found your channel for some reasons, there are few channels treating this topic as well as you do. My native languages are french and creole and my partner's native languages are portuguese creole and portuguese. My strongest language is French, I can fully understand creole but I'm not comfortable in speaking it whereas my partner strongest language is portuguese (even though he is very comfortable in speaking it because he only speaks in portuguese crioulo with his parents). Our baby was born in the UK where we live and we speak with each other in portuguese. We are currently following the OPOL method for português and French and but when exactly should we introduce our second language (our creole) ? Should we use the help of the grand parents as my mother speaks fluently my créole and my partner's mother speaks fluently his crioulo. Will that be a problem that our son doesn't get any English at home? Thank you so much in advance. Claire.

@MultilingualFamily 3 года назад

Hi, make sure that your child goes to a day care or something in English at least twice a week to learn English early. It´s perfect to use the OPOL for the first years. Once your child starts speaking to you in your respective languages, you can start introducing your second language using the OSOL (or what I personally prefer: the OAOL method). Watch my other videos to learn how that works and let me know if you need more help with your unique family situation by going here: www.multilingual.family/services

@JuanCarlos-wh6wm 3 года назад

Very interesting topic Andrea. I can add that it is even more difficult when one or both parents are not bilingual from childhood. I've noticed that some of our friend families sometimes find it very hard to adjust to dynamic switching between languages at home, such as talking to their child in the minority language and switching to the majority language with the non-minority language speaking parent. This is something lifelong bilinguals are very adept at doing, yet it can be extremely tough for people that have learned a language later in life. I've seen some cases where the minority language speaker has so much trouble that they start code switching with their children, which almost inevitably leads to minority language rejection. I don't know what would be the best strategy for those situations, but it is a real problem, especially when one parent is monolingual. Hopefully you have some tips :-)

@MultilingualFamily 3 года назад

You're so right. For people that grew up bilingual or multilingual, switching is so normal that it's hard to understand why that should be a problem. Nevertheless, it's not impossible if the will to pass on the minority language is big enough. I think it's a commitment, a choice that parents have to make. If the WHY is not strong enough, it's easier to fail.

@w.michaelk.8263 4 года назад

Im in america and my wife is Turkish, we’re looking at starting a family and we decided to speak Turkish to each other exclusively for at least the first 6-7 years to minimize English. So I’m learning fluent Turkish and taking tons of immersion courses. I’m in the research stage and actually writing a personal guide with tons of topics and games to plan ahead for the minority languages since the transition to school is the hardest part. I’ve known Spanish since I was 14 since I taught myself and she wanted me to pass it on since my mother can teach them English. So I’m having to take intense classes in both Spanish and the other so we can be ready. Thanks for making this video. Have you read Xiao-Lei Wang’s “Growing up with three languages?” It’s amazing how they did it.

@MultilingualFamily 4 года назад

Hi, I´ll take a look at that book. Thanks for that tip! Take your time in analyzing well what goals you want to reach and why. A careful and though through plan in the beginning makes life much easier later. Have a great day!

@sdoken 3 года назад

Hi W. Michael K. That is amazing that you are preparing 6-7 years in advance! We already have a child so we do not have so much time! I had a question for you: Do you plan on speaking turkish to your child instead of english? Andrea says that each partner needs to speak their strongest (often but not always the native) language to the child. I was wondering how that is working out for you. Also when you talk about transition to school being hard, what do you mean? Do you mean your child will have a hard time going to school in an english speaking country after being raised bilingual in spanish and turkish? I appreciate your message. (I am turkish but my wife is american so we are trying to raise our son bilingual at least (turkish + engnlish) but I would also love to be able to teach him german which is not my native language but is pretty good though definitely not native level.

@w.michaelk.8263 3 года назад

@@sdoken I only plan on speaking Spanish and English when needed for homework, or if my family needs a translation. My wife will deal with the Turkish part, and always speak Turkish and only Turkish to them, since they won’t get a chance to use it much outside our group, we’re clamping down on Turkish big time, even more than Spanish. Yes, that is the transition that I’m referring to, that time when they start school in English and it starts to become their strongest language as it is the main community language. That time is critical to your child being able to continuing expressing their lives and thoughts using all three languages. If your wife is speaking English to them already then I would recommend you never using English when you’re talking to your children and only Turkish for communication, especially so they can talk to your family in your native language, my wife has told me too many sad stories of American-born Turkish speaking children not knowing enough Turkish or being able to talk to their grandparents or aunts/uncles when they go to the country. Good luck with the German, I’m sure you’ll find a method that works for you! Thank you!

@sdoken 3 года назад

@@w.michaelk.8263 thank you so much!! 🙏

@sdoken 3 года назад

@@w.michaelk.8263 Wow what a helpful reply Thank you so much! I know what you mean about turkish diaspora (especially half-turkish children thereof) not speaking turkish. (You can look up Prof Ayse Papatya Bucak who was raised in the US and cannot even pronounce her own turkish given name) One challenge I have is finding books or songs or games in turkish for my 8 month old son. Not only are they obviously impossible to find in the US but even when I have them shipped from turkey, I worry that they are not as cool as the books in children's literature in english and/or german. This is why it may be a very good if you have games you can play at your disposal. My wife is pretty creative so she wrote a few songs in turkish that I can sing to my son with my natural turkish accent and I love that they rhyme! I wish I had a ton more of those. Thank you so much for alerting me to the importance of keeping turkish up during the time of starting school. Kudos to you for working hard to help your child. In turkish we say: "One language means one person, two languages is two people" which rhymes in turkish better than in english. :) Have a nice day!

@sdoken 3 года назад

Wow, what an important video. I cannot believe I did not watch this until now. I just shared this video with my wife and friends who are also raising their child bilingual. One question I had: i thought you had mentioned in another video that you switched from english to speaking in spanish with your husband. But you say in this video you actually spoke swiss german? Is that how your daughter was exposed to swiss german before you started wearing the red hat/ponpon to speak in swiss german to them? Cheers and thank you for these videos!

@MultilingualFamily 3 года назад

We changed from English to Swiss-German (not Spanish) and yes, she heard as speaking in SG since the beginning and after the 8th month or so, she went to a Swiss day care, but intentionally only for two days. Glad I can help!

@Krishgopikrishnan 3 года назад

Hi... My native language is Tamil.. And my boyfriend native language is Gujarati. I don't know Gujarati and he doesn't know to speak Tamil.. But even though we had a strong bond with each other by English.. But I am too much scared bcoz this language problem will separate us from our marriage..we don't know our parents will accept it or not.. 😞😣😣😣😑😓

@MultilingualFamily 3 года назад

Hi, I guess the only way to find out is to be honest with your parents and tell them how you feel about it. There is a chance that they will be understanding.

@Krishgopikrishnan 3 года назад

@@MultilingualFamily Tq soo much mam.. ☺☺❤will surely try it. 👍