My Porn Addiction Is Destroying My Life 

I feel like this is an addiction not talked about enough

I’m 37. It took me years, a divorce and intense accountability and recovery groups to finally overcome my porn addiction. I’m now fully sober and leading other men out of their bondage.

Porn has absolutely destroyed my generation. It’s heartbreaking. It has destroyed real relationships, and any inclination for people to better themselves. It is truly vile and evil and I commend anyone that frees themselves from it, myself included.

A lot of addicts are watching this video. My addiction started almost 13 years ago, when I was 11. I just hit my one year anniversary of being sober on February 6th, 2024. Here are several things that I had to learn in order to live healthier and begin true recovery from this addiction. Hopefully this helps somebody. 1) The opposite of addiction is true, human connection. In order to kick this, you can't do it alone. You need to open up to a few people you trust. Every time you struggle, you need to tell them about it, even if you've already relapsed. Learn to truly connect with them. 2) Bad habits thrive in the dark, but die in the light. Look at every aspect of your addiction. Write it all down. How are you relapsing? When? Where? How often? How much time and money have you spent on it? You need to then read what you have written down to one or more of those people you trust. You gotta kill all of the secrets. Addicts frequently do other dishonest things to support their addiction. You have to share anything else immoral you've done that relates to the addiction. 3) Every time you relapse, afterward you need to write down what happened. Write down what happened in the minutes, hours, or days before the relapse. You need to write down what you told yourself to justify the bad behavior. For me, I frequently told myself that I deserved to have a terrible life, so this relapse would only help my life be terrible. I told myself I deserved the pain and anguish. Look for patterns in your thought processes and relapses. Is there anything there that you can avoid or fix? 4) You're an addict. Frequently, addicts of pornography have other addictions, like to food, spending money, video games, online videos, etc. Do you? Start to avoid those. Misusing those things will only lead to relapses with pornography. 5) Instead of telling yourself, "I don't want to relapse," tell yourself "I want to be healthy." If you tell yourself "Don't relapse. Don't relapse. Don't relapse," over and over again, your mind will only hear, "Relapse. Relapse. Relapse." Instead of focusing mentally on what you don't want to do, focus on what you do want to do. 6) Find things about yourself that you are proud of. Make a written list of them. And this isn't pride in the Biblical sense. This is looking for the good that God has put in you. For example, some of the things that I first saw in myself were that I kept on striving for good, that I could make people laugh, and that God had blessed me with an interest and talent in poetry. You've repeated the things that you hate about yourself over and over. It is time to balance the scale with the good things about yourself. 7) Make it a goal to live healthy physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, socially, and intellectually. Anything unhealthy about those aspects of your life? Strive to remove them from your life. Strive to live healthy. I'm still struggling with this one. I eat still impulsively eat like garbage sometimes. Just before writing this I ate some brownies with a couple scoops of ice cream, and I probably shouldn't have. 8) Don't white-knuckle it. If you're feeling vulnerable or triggered, reach out to your support team and then do something else, even if it's 2 am. I lost so many battles because I told myself if I would just lay in bed long enough I'd fall asleep and wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, but it's difficult to get your mind to shut up. Find a way to resolve the trigger in a healthy way. 9) Look at the next few days. Are there any situations coming up in which you might be more vulnerable, like under extra stress or being alone for long periods of time? Those are survival days. You have to make a plan that you can keep for that day (or days). What time will you wake up? What will you eat? What will you do? How often will you check-in with your support team about how you're doing? What unhealthy habits do you need to especially avoid? Then, share your plan in a written/typed out form with your support team so that you're accountable to them. And this is only scratching the surface. But, just know that there is hope. You've got a lot of work to do. You're not broken. You're wounded, but you're still alive. Also, you're not alone. There are millions of us fighting alongside you, your brothers and sisters. I love you. You got this. God is with you.

I was addicted, I quit cold turkey when I got with a real woman and couldn’t get it up. It took months to get to normal but now feel better than I ever have before. It suppresses your masculinity in so many ways. Never again!

99% of grown men and woman would never have this level of self awareness, honesty, and accountability as this 18 year old kid. Respect.

I think porn is one of the most destructive and difficult addictions to overcome. This young man has a lot of personal insight and is well spoken for only being 18. He recognizes he has a problem, which is an important first step. I wish him the best.

I came forward with my dad 19 days ago and broke down and told him the real reason behind my mental breakdowns and depression. I told him about my porn addiction. He used to be a youth pastor and proceeded to tell me he has helped hundreds of guys since the early 90s with this addiction and he told me that he’s going to help me. I’m on day 19, li fest streak i’ve had since the summer. He has come into my room every night and prayed with me and asked me how i’m doing multiple times throughout the day. I’m going to beat this! Porn has ruined our society, never forgive them for what they’ve done, destroy everyone who is feeding this poison into our society and help rebuild all the people who seek help. We will overcome this!

This young man’s testimony shows how incredibly painful it is to be a young person in today’s world. Porn is all around us, it’s probably harder to avoid it than not.

It’s extremely hard to escape pornography addiction. It literally becomes part of your identity and it’s so easy to get triggered because there’s other addicts online that enable this behavior and make you relapse and also so much is being sexualized now a days and it’s every where, it’s on Facebook , Instagram , Reddit , and Twitter especially. Porn is too easy to find and too accessible.

I wish this young man all the best and that he makes it to the other side of his addiction.

I’m so proud of this young man. I have high hopes for him. He’s very insightful and self aware.

The problem with a severe porn addiction is that it destroys your motivation to do pretty much anything besides partake in those pornographic activities. It's all about dopamine, the brains reward chemistry.

Huge shoutout to this dude. This kind of vulnerability and self-awareness is incredible, especially at the age of 18.

I really respect this caller’s willingness to discuss his addiction on a live radio show. Also to acknowledge this addiction at 18 years old! As someone who has also struggled with PA for over 25 years, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Surround yourself with the right people, and ask the Lord for help.

28 virgin ,broke and living at my moms house .... trauma n bullying led me to porn addiction .... but i came out of it and in less than a year i ll start an awesome life !!!!

30 times a day?? I'm 26 and once a week feels like too much to me. Not shaming at all, this young man is intelligent and sounds like a good honest guy. Power to you buddy. All men should stop watching porn, there's 0 benefit.

Who else took that deep breath and held it for 5 seconds?

Worst part is it’s everywhere, you literally can’t go on insta/tiktok without seeing something related, you can stop for a day but it’s like your phone knows you’ve stopped and just shoves it in your face

This generation has such a burden being exposed to so much internet so young. I didn’t have a computer until I was 15 and that still led to the addition I couldn’t imagine not knowing a life without constant internet in my face.

You're the man Joseph. There are too many men struggling with these demons.

My heart just breaks for this young man. What courage! What self-awareness! I really really hope this kid keeps fighting for himself. GREAT CALL!

as an addict i can fully relate myself to that guy his every single word is true

I struggle with this everyday and I’m 27 now. Well here is to another day 1 of being “sober”. I pray you have better luck with this than I do brother !

Props to this guy! Hope he stops putting women on a pedestal. Women want to be treated like a person first and foremost. Talk to a woman like you would to any human being. With respect and dignity.

The courage it took for this man, I can feel it in his words as he speaks! Much love buddy!

Damn the question about child pornagraphy almost made my heart drop...😢best of luck to this guy

Porn is the greatest evil in this world right now.

So much respect for this guy calling in and talking about such a sensitive topic! I don't know you, sir, but my husband and I are praying for you. Just to give you some encouragement; my husband had an addiction problem with porn when he was younger and God completely freed him from it! God restored all his natural affections and we have a wonderful marriage that includes the most wonderful and beautiful intimacy. Thank you for calling in to Dr. John! Much love and big hugs since your way.

This is one of the best calls I have seen John take, because this guy has a high level of insight and that is rare.

Wow 30 times a day is wild!! I thought twice a day was insane!! Wow I’d love to get an update with this young man.

Prayers to this young man. May God bless him and guide him through this difficult journey.

I’m in awe of how mature the caller was in spite of his age. I have no doubt in my mind he’ll make it out. I’ve made it out myself, and I can recognize the ingredients in someone who’s ready to put this addiction behind. His life will be a powerful testimony. We’re all rooting for you my friend 💯🙏🏾❤️

I struggled with this too. I know a lot of women do. Look up a 12-Step program on this if you're struggling. I have and it's saved my life. The disease of porn addiction is really progressive and will lead to a super dark path and you can find grace from this, but white-knuckling or even sometimes therapy doesn't work for everyone. I'm now 3 years "sober" from this destructive lifestyle.

Brother your the most masculine man there is. Your 18 and you just poured your heart out and completely opened up to every problem and you were completely honest even though it’s against your values . So much bravery brother fr I’m 25 and not sure I am that emotionally strong and I’m a father . Respect bro

I finally realized that I have an addiction to pornography, it has taken me over 20 years, my friends it’s a serious addiction and it can ruin life’s and relationships, im on one week and 2 days without watching porn, and it’s been tough to overcome it, im 32 years old never had a girlfriend, never been in a steady relationship, always been afraid to talk to women, but today my friends My Journey has started, my recovery, my new life. It’s been a week since I stopped watching pornography, let’s keep it going, your stronger than you think . My name is Angel Gonzalez, stay strong my friends 💪❤️

Kudos to him for calling Dr. John! That's a huge first step!

I remember 1 year ago i decided to try and end my addiction, best thing i ever did, still struggle a bit but now 19 and feeling better than before

Wow, a brave call to make. I hope this young man is able to get the help he needs. I know he felt shame talking about it, but I'm glad he was able to talk to an understanding and compassionate man who showed no judgment to him.

As a sex addict in recovery myself, I can tell you that John's advice was excellent. Get into 12 groups (SA, SAA, SLAA). And go see a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) specifically. You cannot do this alone, but you can absolutely recover.

I so appreciate this guy's call, and his honesty. This speaks to me as I've had a problem with this for quite some time, and it's chilling when Dr John says he's close to meet ups, I've experienced that personally and can say absolutely yes, that's where it leads. Standing in God's grace today taking one day at a time, stepping out of denial and opening to his love and the people around me 🙏🏼

Men seek purpose and when we cannot find purpose we fall for sedations.

Brilliant segment Dr Delony 👍 you offered some excellent guidance on helping this young man with his addiction..I really question the integrity of people who supply this online porn - it’s devastating our younger generation who are very impressionable..👍🙏 I know it’s a sensitive subject but it needs to be addressed in schools - this man has been doing this since he was a child

This was my first time seeing this channel but I got a lot of respect for this guy trying to help someone he doesn’t even know.We need more men like this in the world willing to try and help this younger generation

This addiction is terrible. I started watching it at 15. Fast forward to today, I'm 32, married and still doing it but about 95% less. I'm thankful for never spending a dime on porn but the addiction is terrible!!! Bro the fact that you're questioning it early is a good start. Porn ruin lives.

I feel like I’ve kicked the addiction now but I really still feel like it’s still with me and effecting me. Like a big giant scar on my life in a way.

I was bordering porn addiction for several years. Every private moment I had I used to watch porn and for masturbation. I actually didn't do anything, one day I just stopped. I think my libido finally just dropped, thankfully. I hope this guy finds peace.

This poor young man. At least he, unlike too many psychological "experts" in the field, is more than a little aware that he has a very large issue that must be resolved in order to live a normal Life. Sex and pornography addiction are one of the greatest banes in our society. I hope he follows through with his treatment, especially with the fellowship he needs and deserves.

I’ve been battling this addiction for a long time as well. I’m on day 8. Sounds like nothing but I can already feel the difference. A long time ago I went over 100 days without it and when I finally did relapse I felt dazed and horrible. I’m going to remind myself of that moment so I can finally overcome this.

I'm cheering you on dude!!! I quit porn about 2 years ago or so after using it for nearly 13 years. It doesn't magically change your life and make it better. But it shows you that you have agency over your life and enables you to make other changes that are lifechanging. It's the first domino that falls that can escalate to bigger and bigger change.

I know an 18 year old man who struggles too. He said he does not do well with women. He clings onto women so they run. His mother abandoned him so he's looking for mom. He's open about his addiction. I pray both of these guys beat their addictions.

I was right there myself. I really resonate with this young man. I fought for 8 years to free myself from the curse of porn addiction. It took me 8 years to realize that I don't have the strength to overcome on my own. However, the Lord Jesus showed me mercy and manifested himself to me. I was baptized in his holy name, my sins of fornication and adultery were forgiven and I received the gift of the Holy Ghost. I won't lie and say I don't get tempted from time to time, but I am without a doubt free in Jesus name. Give your life to Jesus anyone who is struggling with this filthy habit. The Lord is freeing people from the bondage of sin every day and there's no reason why you can't be freed too. Amen. Praise King Jesus!!!

Very proud of this kid being able to talk about his problem. It takes a man to do that.

As a 22 year old Catholic who grew up struggling with porn addiction. A lot of what this kid said resonated very seeply with me. I feel like porn has ruined so many aspects of my life. It seems as if it detracts from enjoyment of hobbies, my speech ability, social participation and so much else. But the key, at least it seems so to me, is to stay positive and fill the vaccuum left by a porn addiction with something new and better. Not necessarily related to therapy, but rather an enjoyable social activity. I hope this kid is doing well.

The important part is this guy recognizes there is a problem and refuses to be in Denial, respect

Damn this hits home, similar situation to this kid. I’m 28, not the 30 times a day but I can admit I have an issue. Thanks for giving me some Optimism joe and john. You got this kid, we got this!

I am so happy that John volunteered to take the journey towards recovery with this young man…I’m rooting for him!!! 👏👏👏👏

You are so perceptive, compassionate and articulate and I’m so glad I found you! You have a remarkable ability to get to the core of an issue and deliver honest, direct feedback and a course of action forward. And you do it in a way that is sensitive and clearly makes people feel heard, understood and supported. I think many people are likely silently struggling and it’s probably so therapeutic just to be validated in that way. Thank you for sharing your time, your knowledge and your compassion to help callers and those of us just listening and learning! As for this particular caller....it breaks my heart that he’s always felt so lonely and unlovable. He sounds so intelligent and mature and self aware and I’m certain that many people would be honored to be his friend or partner. He is still so young. He has his whole life ahead of him and I hope he realizes that he has so much to offer and that his future could be so bright and fulfilling if he accepts this. I wish the best for him!

Porn addiction ruined my marriage. It wrecked our lives and we divorced...stole our intimacy, he couldn't stop, and at the end of it all exposed our Son bc he wasn't being responsible where he watched it. It rewards the same receptors as cocaine and the material gets so graphic that it's SOOOO bad

This touched me. I’ve been battling for like 10 months now for my porn sobriety, at 35 I finally became self aware enough to realize I was an sex/porn addict. I’ve had about 10 slip ups in 9 months which is huge compared to the at least once a day to go to sleep I was at when I started. It’s still very hard. I have a lot of trauma I’m still trying to work through an I always want to turn to the screen when it starts to come up. I’m a Christian as well an I feel immense shame not only for the porn but the trans, an gay porn I started watching to get higher. It’s one of the hardest fights of my life but it’s not impossible. Gods strength, mercy an love to anyone else going through this.

We need more channels like this to make RU-vid the best place

I got rid of my computer. Started going to church and reading the Bible. It helps like nothing else has.

So proud of this guy and how everyone in the comments is cheering him on. I hope he knows people support him. There’s no need to feel alone.

Just seeing my own 18 year old self right after HS and how I have changed now abt to graduate Uni at 22, I have come so far. Bro you got this, change is hard but whatever is weighing on you don’t give up.

I wish this young man the best of luck. I just left a relationship because of porn addiction. My ex boyfriend was following 2000+ hyper sexual accounts on Instagram and 1500+ hyper sexual accounts on TikTok. My sixteen year old daughter was the one who told me. When you join TikTok, it asks if you want to follow people in your contacts. She said yes. That’s how she found out. Then she told me about it. My 44 year old boyfriend was following two sixteen year old girls on TikTok. One of them he had been following for five months. When I confronted him about following a sixteen year old girl for five months, he told me that he didn’t know she was sixteen. Her original profile clearly stated she was 16. Both sixteen year old girls stated that they’re 16 on their accounts. If he only had a porn addiction, we may have been able to work things out. Unfortunately, he also made sexually inappropriate comments to my daughter. Remember, she’s the same age as two of the girls he was following on TikTok. Porn addiction is real and it has real consequences. It destroys relationships. It leads to ED. There are men in their twenties who have to use Viagra or Cialis in order to be physically intimate with their partners. Young man, thank you for your bravery. Good luck.

I’m really liking these interviews and how real and upfront you are with your callers, asking the tough questions that the audience is also wondering 💯

THANK YOU DR. JOHN. The kid started this whole conversation blaming other girls and saying it's a replacement for a girlfriend. It's absolutely not the same thing. He needed to hear that, I hope this kid gets to a better place and puts this chapter behind him. He has a lot of life left to live.

Wow, I'm honestly very proud of this young man for being so introspective and honest. I hope that he finds a good group of friends that are a positive, supportive, and active. Some people live in denial for DECADES before they face the truth and get some help! He can overcome.

I was in a similar scenario as this caller, although it wasn’t as bad. It almost brought me to tears when he said he was Catholic. Being in the same boat as an Orthodox Christian I know his feeling but I’m sure his experience was 100x worse. God bless this man, I hope I make it to heaven because I want to meet this man there.

I am free! I want everyone to know that you can overcome this addiction. I have been able to remove pornography from my life after about 30 years of it. I thank Dr. Delony for helping young men not waste their lives in this terrible addiction.

Poor guy! Hope he gets freedom in this, sounds terrible. Porn is destructive!

Accepting you have a problem is the first step in recovery they always say. I'm sure he'll pull through

Mad respect for the maturity right here! Even at 18 to call for help…amazing

It’s nearly impossible to get away from sexual content on the internet. Every time I scroll Facebook I see women sexualizing themselves on reels and other outlets. Not to mention full on pornography available on twitter. Like you don’t even have to intentionally search it out anymore. It’s crazy out there.. and I sympathize with this guy😔

I pray for this young man. May he be lead to redemption and a good responsible life where he is certainly happy about himself. Great job for being honest and courageous Joseph!

He could get a girlfriend easily if he wasn't looking for an airbrushed model. That's the trouble with porn: no real woman can measure up. Plus they fake orgasims, so guys who watch a lot of porn have no idea how to please a real woman or worse, they get mad at the woman for not coming like the porn woman. 100% he needs to shift his focus on learning about woman, what makes them happy, feel safe, find funny and then meet real women and get to know them as a person. And, when they're at a point in the relationship to get intimate, he'll have to spend a lot of time learning what she likes. It probably won't be anything he's seen in the films. Hope he finds a way out.

This poor guy! The first caller you can feel his desperation and he is so young. He is so brave to put this out in public. I hope he gets help!

I turned to porn at a very young age to cope with the abuse i suffered as young child. Its ruined me. I feel this guys pain & respect his honesty

I’m 21, this spoke to me on so many levels, even more so when he says that guy’s name, because my name is Joseph.

It was very brave of him to share this. First step to a full recovery. Excellent video.

It’s not just men who are in the same boat. Women have this addiction too. I’ve had it since I was in elementary school. I’m now 40 and it has been a struggle all of my life. I need to find a group and get help.

I'm 23 now, and I was extremely addicted to porn from 14 - 22, was just recently able to shake it since moving out with my girlfriend, as I used to watch it every night but now at the point where it is once a week. Trying to get it down to once a month, and then hopefully to quit it all together. Let me say, it ain't no joke. It's so damn scary how easily accessible porn is, it is dangerous. It took me a while to finally shake the addiction, because my mind was always reaching for that taste of dopamine from porn. I was never happy, always down, only looked forward to when I would watch porn at night. There is always light at the end of the tunnel guys, just know that. It might be so damn hard right now for you, just know you are better than this, and you are worth everything.

Wow this was so beautifully profound, sincere and human. Made me cry ❤

i think alot of guys suffer from this type of addiction! Proud of this guy seeking help for his!

For several reasons I was emotionally neglected as a child and teen. The biggest part of my healing is giving what I didn’t get to my children. For example when my son is crying or my daughter is angry I validate and comfort first and when I say “it’s ok (name)” I always include “and little Henry” in my mind just for me

The problem is compulsion. Whether your vice is porn, alcohol, gambling, shopping, social media, or food, address the compulsion, not the thing you're compelled to.

I’m glad I watched this. Praying for all my brothers out there. God helps, and we can lift each other up through accountability.

The devil is after our men’s minds, he loves filling them with so much shame. Lord shine your face upon this young man and deliver him from these demonic addictions

It’s really good that this young man had the foresight to get a hold of this problem before he turned into an incel. He must be very intelligent. He’ll go on to get married and have a beautiful family instead of turning into an angry guy in a youtube comment section.

Joseph, my heart and prayers are with you.

I’m about 3 months into my journey of quitting porn. I’ve slipped, and recently had a brief encounter with it, but I’m continuing to get back up and try again… as many times as it takes. What Dr John described as his relationship with his dad is similar to mine, but my dad also struggled with a porn addiction. I’m currently working on breaking that generational curse, and I know it’s only for the betterment of, not only myself, but any child I may have in the future. This is an addiction that truly needs to be defined as such so there can be legitimate help for those who struggle with no stigmas attached. It’s the new drug that has to be fought!

I found myself tearing up at this one. This kid doesn't realise it, but he's probably improved the lives of people also suffering with this addiction, who was too ashamed to come out in the open with it.

Prayers for you, young man. Find an SA group and you won't feel alone any longer.

This kid is amazing. He is much more self aware than i was even at 30. I have been through his problems (though less severe) and there are definitely brighter days ahead. Keep going day by day. You will be a better guy without this in your life. Women have some kind of intuition about guys who do this a lot, or rather if you stop doing this you will give off some kind of vibe which will attract you to women because they will be your only means of release. Go for it dude!

This guy is super well spoken. If he was in my city. I’d take him to my mma gym. Get him around some good guys

I think we all have some addictions, to some degree. Here I am, on RU-vid. I spend too much time here.

I know for a fact that social media is the number one trigger of every porn addiction. I hope this guy actually listened and deleted his social media accounts, cuz my 27 year old husband thinks I'm crazy when I tell him that when he ends up on porn hup is because he's been watching a marathon of instagram and snapchat reels.

This is amazing, such an incredible breakdown and shows how much damage all the available porn is doing to this generation

This boy is incredible and in incredible pain. I want him to have a life of significance . I relate to SO MUCH of this story...I sought male validation and attention in very toxic ways as well as a young man, feeling I was a bad person if I didn't please them. 😮‍💨. I want him to know he can thrive.

What a brave and amazing young man. He will overcome this and have an amazing life. His future wife will be blessed among women.