My Sister Is Severely Autistic, I Have Been Hating Her For A Long Time. AITA?" Reddit Family Tales 

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I'm autistic and this is 100% on the parents. A sibling should never be expected to be a caretaker to a disabled sibling. That's fully the parents responsibility to raise both their children, and not play favorites. It sounds like OP was expected to just accept everything their sister did, and later on, to care for their sister. The parents did NOTHING to help OP at all.

I’m going to say this if you cannot take care of your disabled child without bringing in your other child you should not be taking care of a disabled child

OP's parents are parentifying her. OP's little sister is NOT her responsibility.

Something like this happened to a friend of mine, without all the lying. Her parents just expected her to go straight from high school to being a full-time caregiver for life. She joined the military as soon as she graduated. Her sibling went into a wonderful group home where he got the 24/7 care he needed which he could not get as well at home. Stories like this make my blood boil. Not only are you forcing one child to sacrifice their life as a caregiver, but you're providing inadequate care for the person with severe needs.

I hate parents who do this. I told my husband if we have any children who have high needs, we are getting family therapy immediately and making sure we have a healthy family dynamic and that we do not make the other kids an afterthought. Also, a lot of parents don’t discipline their special needs kids because “they don’t know better.” Poorly behaved kids who have special needs are a lot worse than typical children who behave badly.

The moment you turn 18: run, and don't look back. You are being used and abused. Get out and live your life.

Your parents are disturbing. You have been made a servant to your sister. You are not your sister’s parent. You are 18 move out.

This is very common for siblings of disabled children, your needs are always put second and causes resentment. I have seen multiple families break apart once the siblings come of age.

My sister was mad that I got married because according to her, I was so ugly and she just assumed that I'd be happy being an autistic spinster who would care for her disabled kids when she was unable to. I pointed out that she wouldn't allow anyone to make direct eye contact, touch or speak to her kids without her supervising the interaction, including grandparents. She won't let them open presents that they receive; she makes them sit in the basement while she opens gifts and decides if they're acceptable. You also have to provide a receipt; if you used a coupon or was on sale, she expects you to give HER the difference in cash. Her kids are terrified of everyone who isn't their parents. When my son was born with autism, she gloated, stating that now I know what she's going through and what a nightmare it is. I arranged for professionals to come to our home to work with our son and us too, unlike my sister did with both of her kids. Needless to say, he is leaps and bounds ahead of her kids, who are adults now and he is 12 years old, which is really making her mad because I proved her wrong. My sister hasn't spoken with me in 9 years and I'm not even bothered by it because I'm too busy enjoying spending time with my family. My son just mastered riding a bike and we go on adventures, talking about anything. That is the joy that happens when you follow medical advice.

This happened to me, but I’m also autistic. My little brother was diagnosed as a baby and I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult. It’s not your sister that’s the problem, hun. Your parents just don’t want to have to deal with the responsibility. I left as soon as I could, and my little bro struggled for a while but soon got the hang of living life solo. My mom would constantly tell me after I left how depressed he was and how impossible his meltdowns were to deal with, because I was the one putting in effort to calm them down and not her. Your parents are using you.

I'm autistic, and I hate that you went through this and your sister never got the help she really needed.

I think a lot of parents do this on purpose. Not having a nerodevergent kid, obviously, but having a second kid _because_ you have an older kid; the idea from the beginning is that the parents will get all the fun of children with very little responsibility because it’s the older siblings’ duty to essentially raise and take care of their younger siblings. There’s a difference between asking them to babysit every so often and giving them all of the unpleasant tasks so you no longer have to do them.

As an autistic person WTH IS WRONG WITH THESE PARENTS These parents shouldn’t be pushing their responsibility onto their child, I’m aware lower spectrum autism is not easy but you shouldn’t be neglecting your other child. They shouldn’t blame them for wanting to be a kid, That’s not fair And they are ignoring the fact that their autistic daughter needs help? That’s worse

"Her" responsibilities? All of this is on the parents. Kids do not raise other kids, let alone disabled siblings. These parents should not have kids at all.

OP: “I hate being 18 and my family treats me like a slave!” ARMY recruiter: *heavy breathing*

Excuse me, when did YOU sign on as THEIR KID’S caregiver?

I would have called CPS and police report them for abuse.

As someone who has Autism, this is on the PARENTS NOT you

I feel bad for these siblings. The one was basically a slave and the other clearly isn’t getting the help she needs. The “parents” are letting both those kids down

This story just kept getting worse and worse the longer it went on. The parents sound like narcissistic monsters. I hope OP is thriving and living her best life now that she's free.

As a professional family therapist, I can only say how important it is to get professional care. The care is not just for the child but for the entire family. And this person, who we refer to as "shadow children" , as well as the parents, would have got the care they needed.

As an autistic person, this sister needs professional help

Sounds like your parents are crap, and it led to you resenting her. Responsibilities? They shat it out, that's their problem.

My friends parents are like this, they never really take her to the hospital when she needs to, they mostly pay attention to the 2 autistic kids, now I understand that they would need special attention, but to ignore your other childs health is just a terrible thing to do!

Parents must not make a child parent another child, end of story. The odd baby sitting, looking out for each other. They cannot be expected to sacrifice their own lives on behalf of their parents

The comment section says what needs to be said and exactly how I want to say it very succinctly. I pray that this girl is happier with her life now.

Been there, except it’s my older sister and she has schizophrenia. Parents were willing to risk my safety because they didn’t want to call the cops on my sister, after I found a note from her talking about how the voices were telling her to stab me. She’d been practiced with a knife in the basement! Eventually, they had to call the cops after she beat up our mom. UPDATE: Now she’s published a book that includes when the voices told her to stab me. At least now my parents can’t deny it ever happening now 🙄

The parents were putting themselves before both kids. Many people on the spectrum can have a career and live independent lives if they get adequate therapy and training in coping mechanisms. Every person deserves to be their best.

Also how can they tell her "she was born to take care of her sister" when she was born first, and they can't predict if their second child will be disabled or not

This hits me hard as I had a severely autustic sister as well. My mother had every intention of me being her 24/7 caregiver. I had to fight hard to break away. It wasn't easy, but well worth it. Who honestly expects their child to bear their personal responsibilities? 🤨

The parents should have known better. >:( May God bless the person who moved out and I wish them the best.

The visuals on this are creepy.

I used to listen to ppl talk about hating their special needs sibling and parents. that parents told them they were to take care of them after they passed. . Some left for college/military never to return.

She should have called CPS on them and walked out on them and lived her life. Eff them.

My brother, older than me by 2 yrs, had severe Downs Syndrome. He was the most beautiful, loving and affectionate little man and I absolutely adored him all of my life. My parents never put any responsibility on to me but I wanted to be with him, playing the little games that he could manage. He died just before his 10th birthday and just before my 8th. The sweetest thing that my dad ever said to me was they could see how much I loved him and even when young would do anything for him, dad said they saw it from me every day. And I got back so much more from him in love than I ever put in. He was so beautiful. He died in 1968, our darling Davy, so loved still. Miss you our precious boy. ❤️

I’m so glad she has a supportive extended family that helped her escape. I wouldn’t go back to that town unless it was to see them. I see No Contact in those parents’ future…😒😒😒 P.S. that last “break down” by the mom is giving manipulation.

if a person cant care for a disabled child, they should have the child placed in care in a facility for the advanced and full care that they need.

As an autistic eldest sister, this is the parents fault. I had a similiar situation with my sisters medical condition in my early childhood, but without the blatant parentification. This is the parent's fault. The sister is the parent's responsibility, not OP's. They should not be raising a disabled child if another child has to be cheated out of their childhood because of it. I wouldn't blame OP if she cut off her parents. She was a damn child, no child should be expected to be a caretaker to anybody.

Those parents are fucking awful.

I have 3 siblimgs with autism and the constant violence, anger, and agression that comes from them has destroyed my and my mothers life.

If you can't take care of a disabled kid without ruining the life of your other kids, don't have them

If they think her going to a movie is abandoning her "responsibility" (which isn't hers to begin with) wait until she moves out and goes completely NC with all of them.

Nah, get a job after graduation and move forward without them

I'm autistic but high functioning. I feel sympathy for both siblings as one shouldn't be the caregiver if they don't want and i feel sympathy for the disabled sister as she didn't ask for that.

I completely understand this. While I wasn't forced to be a caretaker for my autistic older brother, I still had practically zero life. We were placed in foster in 2010. Our carers always expected me to put aside what I wanted for him. If I had friends over I HAD to include him which meant watching shows for babies or listening to commentary on every movie. If we went out it had to be his choice, where we are had to be his choice and as soon as he was finished we had to leave. No arguments or he'd have a meltdown in the middle of the shopping center. Any movie we went to see in cinemas? His choice. My opinion was unimportant. Once we were asked what we wanted to see and he didn't like my request so I asked to be left at home and I was forced to go because I was too young. I was so bored and fell asleep within five minutes. He used to wash and dry plastics and cutlery while I did the rest but one temper tantrum and the entire job became my responsibility. Any time he didn't get his way, guess who's fault it was. Every morning I'd wake up to him screaming about how everything is my fault and I shouldn't exist. One year, on his birthday, I had been so incredibly depressed from being bullied all day, nothing going right, etc, that I didn't have the energy to pretend I was okay. Our carers didn't even bother to ask me what was wrong. They just saw a little girl upset at her brother's birthday party because he was getting presents and she wasn't. I left and they literally tracked me down and forced me to get in the car so we could go out for his birthday dinner at a place where the only dish I liked was made so sweet it made me sick. I was so upset I refused to eat and was told that if I didn't eat while we were out then I wouldn't eat at all. Another thing was, we had Foxtel for a while. When a show came on that I loved, I series linked the new season so each episode would record so I wouldn't miss it because it was on while I had tutoring. I asked him not to delete the episode recording because I didn't know when it would come back on and he promised he wouldn't. Came back in and couldn't find it. Asked where it was and he said cheerfully: "Oh I deleted it to make room for this cartoon". Can't remember what one it was but it was something that would be repeated ten minutes later while I would be waiting at least two weeks for a rerun of my show. I deleted one of his shows in retaliation and I got RIPPED INTO. But he got no reprimanding for deleting my recording. I asked him once If we could watch something I had been waiting for and he said no despite having had the tv all day. So I asked out carer to do something. She asked him to let me watch my show and he had a meltdown so she told me to let him watch the tv and go to my room to watch a movie I had watched a thousand times on the tiny little ratty tv they gave me. Oh but if I was watching something he didn't like I had to turn it off so he could watch Chuggington for the millionth time. No arguments. At school I was 'so and so's little sister' or 'the autistic kid's sister'. I literally had no identity. I had no privacy either. If he wanted to come into my room I was expected to let him. I ran away once and they didn't even notice I was missing for like an hour. He broke my things, made me embarrassed to go out with him because he would kick and scream if he didn't get his way. I stopped wishing for things. Birthdays became another day. I became so depressed that I actually started hurting myself. Which I got in trouble for because I had 'no business being depressed or hurting myself' according to my foster carer. I don't blame him anymore. I didn't even get mad about the day he gave me a black eye during a meltdown. That wasn't his fault. But I did when I was younger. I know better now and I love him dearly. We get along well and I'm one of the only people who can calm him down from a meltdown or can prevent one from happening if I see the warning signs. God.. That ended up being way longer than I intended.. Uh.. sorry for ranting.. When I see stories and posts like this my blood boils and I can't help myself. No one should have to go through what OP did and I'm so sorry they had to experience that. Idk.. I guess the point of my long winded comment is y'all who have similar struggles, you're not alone and I understand where y'all are coming from and what y'all are going through to some extent. Hope OP (any one else struggling) is doing better now.

Her parents are to blame. I'm autistic, and I know I torture my family, but my little sister is able to trust me with things she won't tell my mom. You cannot be a parent and force your child to care for another until they drop dead.

Your extended family and grandpa are awesome! You’re very lucky to have them! Count them as blessings each and every one!

I have an older sister who is autistic (diagnosed at 13) and four younger brothers. My family’s life (including her’s especially) and my life, and it caused massive meltdowns, fights, setting up routines (having them fall apart because she got complacent and developed new compulsions: washing hands, checking for dirt, etc.), allowing her fears overshadow the rest of our family’s concerns. I don’t blame her for her autism/OCD, but it is difficult because she fails the people around her (especially her family). She wants to do things her way, and if anybody messes with her schedule (springing unintentional surprises), she freaks out, and it’s a whole meltdown. Yet, she doesn’t understand that she makes the rest of us late or that the rest of us are busy. My parents don’t expect my siblings and I to be responsible for her, but my sister does expect us to do things FOR her as a way to “help” keep her calm and elbows her family and invades our spaces by leaning into us and not leaving room for us. She also lacks awareness of our schedules and wants to go on vacations, which is excellent, but the rest of us have school and calendars to stick with. She wanted me to drive her to OH for a dating conference (IDK). Still, I didn’t want to: 1) I was doing summer college courses, 2) I was preparing to transfer to an in-person college in Aug. 2022, 3) She is incredibly bossy, 4) I hated driving, especially on far distances, and unknown places, &. 4) She barely cares about what I like or bothers to engage with the rest of us. I knew the OH trip wouldn’t fix anything between us, and it would cause me to be tense, focusing on driving, directions, bossy backseat driver, and going to a conference that I couldn’t care less about. She isolated herself from the rest of us. She also didn’t want to have a grad party but wanted to control my guest list and invite people with whom I was not friends. I don’t hate her, and I understand that OCD and Autism are complex diagnoses and affect the mental, physical, and emotional parts of her life. She is struggling immensely, but I feel sad that she seems to accept defeat and lets it define her when there is more to her than that and doesn’t recognize the difficulties and having to walk on eggshells so as not to set her off. I resent that she doesn’t put the effort and care into her family as she does her friends; the rest of the family and I face the brunt of her anger and anxieties. My parents are doing everything they can (medicine, therapies, routines, OCD, & Autism programs). My siblings have had to deal with her while I was at college (the only thing I hated about going home was dealing with her meltdowns and having to walk on eggshells or having to do things for her when she is perfectly capable of doing it herself and is bossy about it). I have felt that I was living in her shadow and people have credited some of my kindness to her because they see her as kind, extraverted, and personable which has made me question some of my good characteristics.

One of my cousins had a kid with severe disabilities, despite knowing well in advance what kind of intensive care the baby would need after it was born (Also maybe partly religious reasons). Over a few years after the child was born, they went to a nasty Divorce, had 2 more kids(diffrent dads), Bankruptcy, Eviction, and jail time. The kid didn't last long without anyone else to care for them 24/7, but they had been 'living' in a car for a few months before that. Sadly, or fortunately, my cousin is doing better and can actually go to work without worries. The other two kids are still in foster care as far as I know.

I work in social services. This happens a loooooooooooot. Once the parents get too old they expect one of the kids to take on all duties. And that usually means: The carer kid doesn't get to get married. Can't have kids. Can't have a real job. They spend their whole lives as a carer and never asked for it. It's a noble thing to choose, but a terrible thing to do to a kid. Patents should make sure that the disabled child will be taken care of professionally. There are programs. It may involve moving out of state for a while to establish residency in a state with solid supports, but there are programs out there that will provide the person with a social worker to manage their funds and housing and bills and all that. But yeah. It happens a lot. We've had some people come in who had all their family die. They're 60+, with severe deficits, and have no one else. Parents died. Siblings died. No friends. It's tragic. Parents have a duty to make sure their kids will be OK when they die if they can't care for themselves. Also as an autistic person - Parents REEAAALLY need to control their emotional state around their autistic kids. It's like being trapped in a storm. It can HURT and make everything else so much worse.

I had an ugly glare the entire time watching this. My sister is autistic and my parents don't make me watch after her like this, the fact that parents do this to their children and play favorites this way is absolutely disgusting.

Its scary because these same parents claim to know what their children want.

To the parents : THAT'S YOUR FCKN JOB. YOUR CHILD. If you had TWO then take care both. It's funny that they expect the sister to take care of the other sister. If you don't want to take care your own child.

I completely understand and know what this op is going thru, I'm my grandparents caregivers... and I LOVE them and very thankful for this time with them but I've noticed that they've became TOO dependent on me... cleaning, cooking, laundry etc. I totally understand I have to do, but now it's even "hand me the remote...clip my finger nails, turn the channel " and these demands are being asked from them sitting on the couch 24/7 and just scream my name all the time! 😊 my nana has panic attacks every time I leave too , she calls me every 5 mind begging for me to hurry home...it's hars

Maybe the parents could’ve tried actually training the daughter, so she could take care of herself

As someone with autism these parents suck i was able to learn not to break things. They clearly play favourites

As someone who’s autistic, blaming the younger sibling is wrong. They just exist, it is not their fault, it’s the parents’ fault. Blame the parents for sucking at parenting. They should recognize that the older sibling is still a child and not an unpaid caregiver

Thanks. This is exactly why my younger daughter will never be responsible for her older sister, who is non-verbal, has level 3 autism, ADHD and now has sezuires. Kids don't deserve to feel this way. I have a good amount of health problems, and I am doing everything not to have her feel like she has to be a caregiver. She helps me once in a while. I don't think this person really hates their sister.I think they are using the wrong word. It is more that they are under extreme distress. Asking your other child to help here and there seems okay, but it just isn't fair or right for their mental health to have them relying on their other child that much.

The parents forcing the older sister into being a third parent, claiming that she is responsible for taking care of her younger sister above having a life of her own is messed up. The parents are the only people with responsibility to be caretakers, and they are responsible for BOTH of their children! If taking care of their second child is "too hard" there is help out there, forcing that on the older sister instead is not only incredibly unfair, but straight up WRONG!

If you can’t take care of a disabled child, you have no business having one.

I'm glad you didn't blame your sister for this, it's your parents' fault I hope you're living a happier life and I also hope your sister gets the proper care she needs

The siblings of disabled children are not responsible for the care of their sibling. In fact, no child should ever be responsible for other siblings. The older kid did not make the decision to have a younger sibling. It is not their responsibility. Period. Parents need to understand, older siblings are not free childcare for the other kids the parents chose to have. I absolutely hate when parents tell children that it is their responsibility to look after the siblings they never chose to have. It's not the kids' responsibility. It's the parents' responsibility, and theirs alone. Period.

You do NOT force your older children to work as free childcare and caretakers for the younger ones. EVER. That's all.

When the calm, funny grandpa gets pissed, you know you're screwed

This background video makes it feel like I’m tripping on something, and I don’t even know what tripping on something feels like

The cockroaches and the HEARTTT😭😭😭in a FRYING PAN?? What is happening in the background!!!

You know the part that shows how messed this all is/was? It’s posted in AITA. She’s been emotionally abused so much she thought she might be wrong

As someone who has an autistic older brother, I understand where you are coming from. Fortunately my parents are not like yours and they love me and see me as my own person and not just a caretaker for him. There are definitely times where I feel like I have to stop what I’m doing whether it’s an event I have to go to or something else to take care of him. Don’t get me wrong it’s not like my whole life is revolved around him but I can kinda relate to having to cut out certain things for him. Sometimes I worry about what will happen when my parents are gone. I don’t want to seem selfish but at the same time I want to have my own life. I love my brother so much but I worry a lot about his future. I’m glad that you have supportive family members and I hope you and your sister can see each other again.

My little sister also is on the low-functioning end of the autism spectrum. My parents will ask me to help out with her sometimes if they're busy, but they've never expected me to drop any of my plans to care for her. That's their job, they chose to have children to care for, I didn't. Stuff like this sets me off like nothing else

She’s got an epic extended family. Damn.

I stopped at she was sent to the basement. What?

Stories like these make me, as an autistic person, wonder why this keeps happening, because I’ve heard countless stories from people complaining about how their disabled children/siblings “ruin” their lives because of all the care they need and how they’ve been “burdened” with the responsibility of caring for them. It’s like we’re always the problem in these situations. God forbid the parents who don’t get their kids the help they need or the healthcare system that makes it intentionally hard to help these people be held accountable for failing people like OP and her sister, who both end up paying the price for it.

The moment she turned 18 she should have left the house. Taking care of her sister is NOT her responsibility, its her parents responsibility. Them not being able to care for her disabled sister is not her problem, robbing her of a childhood and forcing her into that role is completely unacceptable. She owe her parents nothing, just leave and let them take care of things like they should have from the beginning!

Yeah my brother has Down syndrome, and for three years as a teenager I had to watch him. All day, every day. It wasn’t hard, but it denied me of basically every social opportunity I had, and that WAS hard. I was really lonely and depressed, and my parents said I should be grateful because it was so easy.

both sisters are completely innocent, the parents are evil

My sister has a severely autistic daughter as well and I am here to help with her, but at least I eventually get a break. It is not okay for them to basically shove their responsibility onto their child. They are the parents, if they cannot handle their child they need to get help for her, respite care, therapies, or even, and I know this is horrible because I know about the horrific things that can go on in them, a group home. Sometimes the environment is just not right for kids that disabled. They need a LOT of structure that they aren't going to get depending on the person in question, and a group home might be a better fit if you can find a good one. Sometimes there is no choice in the matter. OP is not trained enough to handle these things, and everyone needs a break. I would try to find other living arrangements because this is just not it.

I can't stand parents that treat their children like co-caretakers

This story makes my blood boil because the parents had countless opportunities to do the right thing and they wasted ALL of them 💀

You aren't trapped, THEY are. A parent loves their child blindly. A sister SEES her sister for what she is.

Sadly I have a friend who’s going thru this and her parents scold and ground her if she doesn’t accept she has to be her sister’s caregiver. Even worse she tries to let her sister learn thru stuff and her mom intervenes and doesn’t let the sister do anything for herself. They have a dog which the sister isn’t even allowed to associate with cuz “she won’t understand” how to play with the dog. It frustrates me

This also sounds like the movie where a couple had another child so she could be used as a doner for her older sister who had cancer! That is despicable. I think it was called My Sisters Keeper?

I'm an older sister to my brother with autism and severe learning difficulties, so if it wasn't for my parents being amazing people my life could have ended up like this. Whenever we discussed their will together they always said that it wasn't my responsibility to look after my brother when they were gone and that he would be put into residential care. I always used to say that I wanted to look after him, to which they would reply that it was my choice. Now that I have chronic illnesses and struggle to look after myself, I've come to the realisation that I can no longer look after him like I wanted to, especially as his mental health has worsened over the years (since COVID lockdowns, to be honest) and he's become even more of a handful. My parents are still fine with my decision. There have been times over the years where I've felt like I didn't get the same level of attention as my brother and that his needs always came first, but that is understandable and I don't blame him or my parents for this at all; it is just a fact of life when you have a disabled sibling. I sometimes wish I had another 'normal' sibling growing up because there were times I felt like an only child (my brother doesn't talk that much and preferred to play on his own most of the time), but then it turns out I'm in line for an autism and ADHD diagnosis as well so maybe I'm not so normal either. xD I'm just thankful I had the best upbringing my parents could give me and that they weren't like OP's parents. I hope she is living her best life right now.

Your sister's care should never have been your responsibility. There are in home services depending on the level of care she needs. Dumping it on the older sibling is just wrong.

This is so sad no kid should have to put his life on hold just to help parents that can’t cope themselves never put ur stresses on ur kid

Makes one wonder what the money was use for if not for a caretaker?

5:36 wtf what the guy doing on the phone 😭😭😭

My little brother is autistic with high support needs. I myself am pursuing diagnosis, but have low support needs. Although it definitely hasn’t been perfect - I used to often feel I was put second to my brother; I was left to my own devices (literally- I was a major ipad kid) a little more to be considered good- I was never expected to help care for him in any way. The only times I look after him are either when he comes to me first or when I choose to, and even that is mostly just playing and mucking around with him.

My brother is severely autistic and my parents give him 90 percent attention yet I love him still very much and realize how I’m lucky and he wasn’t.

I’m glad she saw that her resentment was misplaced and that it was really her parents that were the problem. I’m also glad she had such a supportive extended family to help her out of that situation. My oldest is autistic with level one needs, so not needing much, but I still always try to make both of them feel equally loved and valued. While my youngest can handle more responsibility than my oldest, I don’t put that on her unless I feel it will hold her back like in academics and such.

just yesterday saw a documentary about something like this and the mother saying she never throw the responsibility to other siblings

Op never look back.

I’m so glad OP’s finally LIVING her life! She’s only a teen, even though she’s an adult, yk. Being ignored and used as a caretaker in your own home must be terrible. She’s finally free. Her sister’s not to blame, but I get that OP used to resent her like most people would, even though she wasn’t to blame. It’s great that she’s realized that and that she loves her sister. But in the end, I’m happy for OP.

Im pretty autistic and i never got any special treatment for it, i was just treated like a regular person. I'm shocked that people are being used because parents couldn't care enough to do anything about their autistic child.

I hated my sister until I came to the realization that everything was my parent's fault, not hers. They deserved my rage, not my sister. Also I'm both the smart one and the pretty one, so there's that.

Less extreme case but my neighbors are kinda parents like this. They have a young kid and they just make his younger sister take her of him 75% of time. My sister used to play with her but over time they stopped playing because she needed to take care of her younger brother. Hate that kind of parents.

this made me tear up I'm really glad you stood ur ground props to ur gramps and aunt

I was more invested in the background video

When she turns 18 she needs to go completely no contact with her parents… this is some top tier toxicity.

Siblings SHOULD NOT be expected to be parents to another sibling. This is all the fault of the parents. If the sister WANTS to look after her sister when the parents are older or pass away and she's prepared for the responsibility that's fine. But the parents shouldn't be forcing it on her. Some siblings make wonderful caretakers to their disabled siblings but those are usually the ones who WANTED to be their caretaker, not forced into it.