Not acting instantly on impulsive urges is starting to pay off for me. Life is not great but it is much less chaotic. I was lucky enough to have Dialectical Behavioral Therapy which has really helped and there are some good books out there. Thanks for an optimistic video.
This attitude applies to so many conditions in Medicine, if not all! Health care professionals, do not let your biases make your patients become disabled people by default. First, do no harm. Visualize their potential, communicate realistic hope. This also aligns with a famous speech by Viktor Frankl. Doctors’ words (just like parents’ remarks or judges’ sentences) are the most impactful medicine.
Symptoms morph. Some get worst. Some improve. The greatest advantage of age is understanding & insight into the condition. That alone is half the battle.
It is so frustrating watching these videos. Treatment for BPD is close to non-existent outside major cities. Geography determines your quality of life. Clinicians and therapists have little if any training even though the incidence of BPD is greater than schizophrenia and Bi-Polar combined. State professional standards boards are a joke when therapists do exactly as he described; reject the positive focus on the negative, exit patient care because of "difficulties", and do zero to transition client to new therapist or shrink.
Thank you for stating the truth about BPD!!! A lot of clinicians and laypeople believe that people with BPD are like demons. That is not the case. And as you stated it is a spectrum. Thank you for giving people with BPD hope!!!
I'm glad that the interview with Frank Yeomans was helpful. It certainly is my hope that the videos here will not only educate us but make us feel a sense of empowerment over our disorder. Speaking with him gave me so much hope for us living with BPD. Wishing you well on your journey and thanks so much for your comment!
I've felt shamed-based my whole life just from the diagnosis alone. It's hard to overcome being more ashamed of the diagnosis than the disorder. Finding these RU-vid communities has helped!🙏🏼
It's so true. I think especially if parents never expect a child to stop acting out that could cause someone to grow up and think that they can't control themselves especially when the parents were the triggers to begin with.
Just something that helped me a lot is the Myers Briggs ( most commonly used personality test). This helped me to see myself clearly for the first time ever... Over this last year I have a stable sound sense of self.... It's very empowering , brings much self knowlledge and the clarity to see others realistically ..understanding all the different thinking styles help defeat ridgidity
BPD trauma caused is an individual stuck in the past consumed mentally and emotionally with trying to change, alter it or satiate the original unsatisfied developmental need. It is truly an impossible mission to change something that is unchangeable. You must drop the object. Live in the present. Plan and project out for the future. Despite what movies might say, the past CANNOT be changed. And while you are trying to do so, a pwBPD is missing out on all the opportunities available to them NOW. BPDs are often highly intelligent and highly sensitive people. They don’t use these gifted qualities in present-oriented endeavors. They try to change the past thinking that if they can do so, they will be liberated from their pain. The past pain can only be acknowledged, mourned, grieved…it cannot cannot hello cannot be changed.
After being in therapy for close to 10 years, I encouraged my mother to do the same. She chose a full psychiatrist who gave her the MMPI, with my mother’s resulting diagnosis of BPD. Since she was in her late 50s or early 60s, Mom chose to not take medication. Years - and 4+ decades of my own therapy - later, I was taking courses and seminars in Landmark training, when I saw my mother differently. Yes! She was a handful and growing up was traumatic (culminating in my need of PTSD therapy / Somatic Experiencing). However, Mom always held a job (with an additional P/T 2 or 3 jobs, sometimes), maintained a beautifully designed and furnished apartment (most often, from her own artistic endeavors), and kept up with her bills (though she overspent, and needed bailouts from Household Finance-type of creditors). I began to see my mother as a high-functioning BPD person…and now I appreciate what she did accomplish, under horrifically difficult circumstances. I mean… She could have been a bag lady! And, my mother was not. ❤️
In DBT they call this not “Fragilizing” the client, perpetuating the idea that they can’t do what needs to be done. Impulsivity is described as a “skills deficit” not as not being able to “muster self control.”
They need to grow up...stop parentifying those around them...stop expecting others to take care of them and ADULT at the age-appropriate level they should be at in life. People with BPD want a perfect-parent. They need to become their own parent and stop projecting that demand onto others.
Have someone tried to scan borderline brains, especially the prefrontal cortex and orbitofrontal cortex? There is definitely a problem to control impulses and these parts of the brain are responsible for impulse control I believe so. Also, have someone compared the brains of strong addicts and borderlines? Are there any similarities in the brain matter in certain parts that are responsible for impulse control? Of course, borderline can start to learn to control very strong impulses, they just need to believe it that there is a chance to do it. Slowly slowly the neocortex will take over the reptilian and emotional brain turmoil which created its own entities.
I wish mot people would think like you. Seeing others at their full potential, looking past their disabilities. Then people with BPD would have better support in this world. Many people hook into the negative and see us for our weaknesses instead of our strengths.
So sad; while maybe not zero on all things; some moments are zero. Wish he would have addressed how we are misjudged as all being hateful abusers :/ bah
I got the label an completly freaked out almost psycosis i think for 11 months complet utter anxiety guilt deppression shame shell of myself i was frighterned to death of words bpd . For some reason i googled it an first thing i seen is women with bpd drown kids in bath oh no fucken hell . I joined fb group they were showing photos of self harm . One women said she felt like just listerning to the voices omg . Then being as anxious as i was i started to think my intrusive thoughts were voices . Bloody psyc told me i could slip into psycosis an see or hear things . He said my fears were dellousions . I felt totally out controll had to make my husband leave his job to be with me 24/7to protect me from me . The psyc eventually called me eupt . Which again made me question myself second 3rd 4th guess myself check in on every emiotion wondering if its normal or not or unstable . The fact i suffer from what ifs what if i hear a voice what if i hurt someone i love . Fact he called me eupt made me feel 100 worse . I kept asking why u calling me it . But his reply was what served e well when young dosnt now . Previous past 20 years . Ive had anxiety Panic dissorder Pnd Tsd Ocd . Now this man see me for 3 half hours asked 2 questions do i ever what to be anybody else . An what mh has my mum got . Well he calls me bpd . Im only just starting to step out the darkness from trauma he causes .and feel bit more like me . Even if i had it i need to remember im still me . And 3 silobilis or 4 .wont make me into a mass murder or lunatic
I believe that the people who get to find a clinician or therapist like this doctor are very lucky. I have never been that lucky. I got diagnosed with BPD after two adult very traumatic "moments", and after an knitial diagnose of schizophrenia, just because I reported malignant psychological abuse in my laboral space. All my therapist did was beguilting me and ghosting. Even worse he shared personal information of mine with gjird parties, violating all confidentiality rules. And the psychiatrist took me, but with a great deal of concern not even allowing sesions in his office, only online!
I'm so sorry this mistreatment happened. Please know this says nothing about you but alot about people you had turned to for help. I hope you found some good support.
Right on the mark...I have to cope with these types who have chose to use this method of dealing with life, and I start with my belief that they can exercise self-control and just need to try, step by step. Also when they see they cannot get the response they want from me, they leave me alone
