Oh gosh 😭 Watching these videos makes me feel so validated and somewhat sane. 23 years… and I have nearly lost my entire mind trying to figure out what I was dealing with in my spouse.
If you keep lying to yourself, you blurr your vision and you end up blind. Some things just will not work out and it takes humility to admit that which is something narcisist have no idea of.
the humility comes from getting our ass kicked & the pain that comes from that. The school of hard knocks. And from this, there is learning & growth, & change for those who can reflect upon themselves. Especially learning not to ignore red flags & how one becomes vulnerable to a narcissist in the 1st place.
They’d probably rather literally die than to admit that they aren’t perfect and display some humility. That’s some twisted magical thinking, severe self-delusions and a total disconnection from reality.
I am a caregiver for a disabled elderly covert narc. She gets so mad at me because I refuse to read her mind. Anticipate her needs. After a year, I finally gave notice today. She is getting stranger and stranger and I am done with her.
The biggest issue I have had with the two in my life is how they are so sure they know everything about everything no matter how often their absurd levels of ignorance blow up in their faces and expose them for the fools they are.
Yes their never wrong my Aunt is horrible. You cannot be in the room with her when she’s in one of these moods work everything that comes out of your mouth. No, that’s not it. Nope that’s not it everything you say is wrong. You cannot be in a conversation with someone like this repeatedly it’s like rapidfire. No that’s not really it and just tell you what it is why it’s the way something is !
I experienced magical thinking from a narcissist at work a few times. He was so sure he knew what I was supposedly thinking (mind reading), that he was even willing to confront me upfront on what I supposedly thought!!! It is in that moment when I realized the person was mentally really off-colour. There were other smaller things also. Back then I didn't realize the person was a Narc. But I do now. These people are something else.
I was as financial analyst. So I observed that the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of dictatorships usually exhibit this pattern, too. Narcissism could go countrywide.
The one I worked with believes that she is entitled to special treatment from me insofar as our becoming romantically involved, even though she has 2 teenage sons and I have no children at all and has much attitude when I established my boundaries and declined😂
.. as a German Biologist - a Natural Scientist… This is about Domestication and Conditioning To be hyper friendly Trust, Help - OBEY Surrender, Forgive… That makes us vulnerable for any Predator and Psycho Path To Hijack us. It takes intense Endurance and Inner Strength training to de Condition and become aware of the toxic environment. Can make us lonely outsiders… To become immune to fast intense rewards and promises and delusions. There we meet our best friends, comrades… And be our best version ever
It's truly amazing that my wife thinks she is a great car navigator. She fails consistently to navigate as a copilot every time. Also, her ability to explain directions is astoundingly bad. But she's better than anyone else, only in her mind. It's truly amazing to see that confused look on folks faces when she does it.😅
I worked with someone who kept telling everyone she was being given “special tasks” by our manager when the tasks were actually very boring and were just part of the job 😂. She loved to tell lots of ridiculous stories that were unbelievable and painted her as the victim or the hero and sometimes both 😅
I was raised by covert narcissists, and when I hear things like this I worry that I have become a narcissist myself. I do not want to be like them in any way, I hate when I see these traits in myself.
Some of the traits are simply learned in self defense. I don't believe you can be a bona fide narc if that concerns you in the least. They don't think like that. Darren would know for sure though, I believe.
Remember! Narcissism derived by egoistic personality and in reality ego is part of you!! (Just like your eyes and fingers, ego is one of you) . You do need healthy level of ego to enforce your boundary and that is perfectly fine!! You don’t have to feel bad about it love!! :)
You have to be honest with yourself and accept that the programming you received during the first 10years of your life could very well have made you one. The thing you can't do is deny that parts existence, that's how it gets power n takes over. Take that part acknowledge it's existence and absorb it, narcissism isn't permanent if your willing to be truthful with yourself. Then it's jus patterns you need to unlearn. Know that everyone is the same, nobody is special and neither are you. Nobody is perfect and you have flaws like everyone else. Also admit to yourself that you don't know everything, we all start out capital S Stupid and slowly becomes less stupid throughout life. If you can admit all these things your gonna be fine, full blown npd people cannot. I once said to someone I know that yeah they say you notice your flaws in other people and they replied "I don't have any flaws" and they completely believed it. I wish I would have said, then that's your biggest flaw. Thinking that you don't have any flaws, but I didn't think of it at the time. But yeah do all this n jus don't lie to yourself ever, really jus don't lie in general but most importantly to yourself. You cant be a narc if you do all these things. You said both your parents are so have you noticed that it really has nothing to do wit you n like it don't matter what you say because they're really jus trying to convince themselves of things when they talk in circles n deflect deflect lie lie. It's the main thing I've noticed trying to bring them the knowledge I discovered researching psychology but they don't wanna hear it. And if you try n push the truth too hard they'll jus walk away or do w.e to end the convo. You can honestly not say anything and they'll continue the argument without you. Anyway wish you the best, also I seen a dif video that said something like if your questioning if your the narc your not a narc couldn't even pose the question as a possibility. Jus don't say I'm not gonna turn out like them without acknowledging the part in you that maybe is kind of like them. That's when it resides in your shadow self n takes over, look into carl jung and the shadow to understand better what I mean
@@spencer9892 yes, FIRST take the big log out of your eye, then you can see clearly enough to remove the speck of sawdust from your brother's eye. - JESUS, Matthew 7:5
This is so real, Darren. Before I met them in person, a narcissist asked me what was my dream man body type. I described an Anthony Joshua type physique and he said, "That sounds like me." When I met him, he was closer to JJ from Good Times. 😂 I can not begin to understand why NPD is not classified as a mental health disorder. Thank you for the great video as always. 💕
"A lot of Mental gymnastics to suit their narrative"-- oh, goodness, have I heard all of the weird, crazy stories I could possibly stand! My n-ex could really tell some humdingers😅😂 I just couldn't help busting out laughing!
I don't think there's anything wrong with positive thinking. However, when you go around telling everyone you have a great relationship with your wealthy brother when he hasn't come to visit when it was only a $300 2 hour flight away, called, or sent you or his neice a birthday card in 50 years and the last time you went to visit him he had you sleeping on a cot with no mattress then kicked you out seems narcissistic.
The problem with toxic positivity is that they are incapable of emotional discomfort and vulnerability necessary to be in reality and necessary first and foremost emotionally intimate relationship
The whole "winning" thing isn't part of a loving relationship. My narc HAD to kick me out because I couldn't help but chuckle & laugh. Hearing the 'magical' words he was saying while looking at his face, then realuzing he was serious just cracked me up! So, he finally made all of the bad stuff just disappear!😂😅
having been 'future faked' to the extent of £40m over many years (c.11) by my manipulatively deceitful ex wife, evidence of this was not put to the court by my legal aid funded solicitor. is this professional negligence or even malfeasance? this has left me in a gravely compromised emotional and financial state. 7 years later, this still completely overwhelms me. it has also not been viewed as coercively controlling domestic abuse in the uk. from viewing multi £m properties believing we were genuine prospective buyers, my ex has continued entirely unaccountable in her fiduciary career. how in hell can one ever 'recover' from such mind-boggling treachery? i simply cannot.
Where is the line between magical thinking and mental illness? My ex is definitely a narcissist but also believes things about me that are not true. Stories he made up to be able to live with his choice to leave. But he really believes the things in his mind. Do most narcissistic people also have other co-morbidities? Trying to make sense of the crazy. It's so hard when they won't admit anything is wrong with themselves. No way to get a real diagnosis.
It's amazing to me that narcissists have these similar traits, like there's some specific part of their brain that doesn't work right that causes their behaviors and beliefs. I'm even more amazed that the syndrome became recognized and described so well. Was it Freud who first wrote about it? Or does it go further back? I had a narcissistic mother and the world opened up to me when I was privileged to find out what was going on, and was able to read about it. Immediately, I felt validated! And somehow ok, when before, I thought it must be my fault (because an NPD mother will make you feel that way!) Thanks for adding to the knowledge and spreading it, to help other people!
Narcissus, in Greek mythology, the son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope. He was distinguished for his beauty. According to Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Book III, Narcissus’s mother was told by the blind seer Tiresias that he would have a long life, provided he never recognized himself. However, his rejection of the love of the nymph Echo or (in an earlier version) of the young man Ameinias drew upon him the vengeance of the gods. He fell in love with his own reflection in the waters of a spring and pined away (or killed himself); the flower that bears his name sprang up where he died. The Greek traveler and geographer Pausanias, in Description of Greece, Book IX, said it was more likely that Narcissus, to console himself for the death of his beloved twin sister, his exact counterpart, sat gazing into the spring to recall her features. The story may have derived from the ancient Greek superstition that it was unlucky or even fatal to see one’s own reflection. Narcissus was a very popular subject in Roman art. In Freudian psychiatry and psychoanalysis, the term narcissism denotes an excessive degree of self-esteem or self-involvement, a condition that is usually a form of emotional immaturity. -Britannica
@@sixthsenseamelia4695 sure was an interesting choice of flower. maybe we should just refer to the narcissists as daffodils. my last boss was such a daffodil :)
"They think that it's going to undo all the pain and misery they've caused." Sir, you know your stuff. That described my former romantic interest perfectly. Truthfully, it's the reason why I changed my phone number after my mother left a voicemail going on 3 years ago. The message contained a statement that said exactly that: it can undo the pain and misery. Truthfully, it instantly, instantly, reminded me of that former romantic interest I just mentioned.
This is a very interesting distinction. Could you elaborate a little. I feel like I need to further understand this. Pollyanna vs Narcissists. Hmmmmm....?
@@dashathehorsegirl7943 go ahead. Share sone factual evidence of his narcissism, if you can. Skip Fox News, Breitbart and other right-wing rags pretending to be credible sources.
