My mom was jealous and put me down in many different ways. Always blaming me for anything that pops up instead of taking responsibilities for her problems.
Same! I remember trying to confront my mother about how she always blames me for everything. In that moment something crashed in the next room and she yelled my name. I tapped her on the shoulder and said, "see my point?" I was nowhere near the crash, but she instinctually blamed me. (note: she never liked to look at me when I tried talking to her.)
I deal with the same things!! Like will talk you out of something you really want to do then turn around and bring you the same exact idea etc as if you never ever tried to share that vision it's weird...my siblings are jealous as well😮💨family, coworkers smh
Sicko. And theu get worse with age. i cant wait until she tells all her children to leave and she is in a relationship with a man that has the real deal for her. I dont wish bad on her but you cant treat people that way and think it will fly. God bless her soul. 😊
I'm 30yrs single working girl but wherever i nightout with my friends who are girls, My mother shout at me not to go outside and party with friends again and yell at me saying that if you won't listen to me again i curse you that- "you deserve to be raped and you are dead to me, you are not my daughter."
omg is this a pattern? Mine did this too when I started to go to school, everyone was calling me a boy and I was bullied because of that.. I needed years to recover from it and had serious problems with self asteem later in life..just because she took the girl i was from my childhood..
@@chesterfieldsl44 Same here even my mom don't let me wear shorts and shave my legs I am 18.. just started my college she doesn't even gave me good clothes i only have tops which are totally High neck ... don't know how to get out of this shit😢
Me too, cut my hair super short and often dressed me in boy clothes. When she brushed my hair she would get so annoyed, she was so rough and hated doing my hair.
Exactly this. She was always jealous of me and made it known. I learned to stop introducing her to my boyfriend's because I noticed a pattern. Every time I would, they would dump me within 2 weeks. I found out from one of them that it was because she was feeling their heads full of lies about me. We actually sat down and talked and he was like your mother told me this and this and this and this and it didn't sit right with me. I was like okay, all of that is absolutely false. I told him how I figured out that my mom is a narcissist and this is something common that they do and he apologized for believing her. We still didn't get back together but we're still friends. At least he was open to listening to me. He said yeah, I started to figure out your mom has a couple of screws loose. It absolutely gets worse with age as well.
I stopped dating after I was 13 because my mother slept with my 16 year old boy friend and felt it was necessary to brag about how much more attractive she was. I tried to repair the relationship, be the bigger person. It was a mistake. I have gone no contact after her 2nd attempt decades later. I feel bad for her and I am sad because I can never have a mother who truly loves me. Narcs don't change. 😢
Yes, this is 💯 % right. My mother actually sabotage all of my efforts to go to college. Among other things, I have a whole book but that’s just one of many.
OMG THANK GOD AM NOT THE ONLY ONE TO THINK AM CRAZY MY MOTHER HATES ME EVEN FOR MY SKIN COLOR MY HAIR AND EVERYTHING I DO BUT ITS SO SAD THAT A MOM CAN BE IN COMPETITION WITH HER OWN CHILD GOD HELP HER
My Mother is threatened by everything I say and do, especially when I’m succeeding. I hesitate to tell her anything because I never know what reaction I will receive. Even as an adult, I still make decisions that I believe will not trigger her in a negative way. I live to entertain her and make her proud. Nothing is of my own choosing. I cannot go to her for comfort because it makes her uncomfortable. She’s easily annoyed, impatient and doesn’t want to hear me complain. She calls me a baby. How sad is it that her own baby cannot turn to her?! She wants me to be perfect because it’s pleasant to her. It also makes her look good and she then brags about me to others. If I’m not to her liking, I’m a failure whom she is ashamed of and will gossip about to her family, what little is left of it anyway.
Yes, even go as far as to destroy daughter's relationship with Dad since Mom didn't have a relationship with HER father, because of HER mother. These people are damaged beyond repair
I think you are following my life as it plays out. You are spot on with this. I completely went no contact with my Narcissist. 2 months Narc free. Thank you God!
This is my mother. It’s extremely frustrating for people to understand assuming she’s this wonderful parent who “wants the best for me.” all the harmful things she said and did through my childhood was recreated on a Barbie series on Netflix 😂 she’s now exposed for the world to see and I’m seeing karma unfold for her.
Yeah now imagine you fall in love and get married but your mom was the only one against it. You make another huge mistake by following that lead. Mom said he's not good..she knew bcz she is the same. You didn't listen to mom and ended up divorced with a child of your own. In the same spot you never wanted to be in..I believe she thinks I'm better but the challenge is your good wouldn't survive if u lived what I lived so they recreate that life for you and you unknowingly help your mom ruin your life. The : be indifferent to the narcs and focus on self. Love has boundaries and you do not owe anyone more than you are required. These requirements are your own nit anyone else..so get to work and make strong boundaries. Danish that updated version...omg that term...it makes me feel caged in her reality and it's so hard to break free to find your true self. I hope young girls can find it in themselves to accept this reality instead of denying it. Thank you for the education you provide!
My mom hit on every boyfriend I had growing up. She even did this with my husband when we first got married. I don’t think it was ever an attraction thing for her more like she needs to compete with me every step of the way
TO BE VERY HONEST MY MOTHER IS GENTLE A BIT BUT SHE IS ALSO NARCISSISTIC AS SHE NEVER TAUGHT MY BROTHER TO TAKE THE MEAL FROM THE KITCHEN AND SHE ALWAYS TAUNTS ME BY USING DISGRACEFUL WORDS WHEN I SHARE MY ACHIEVEMENTS WITH HER.MANY TIMES THIS MAKES ME TO WEEP A LOT😢
I'm 30yrs single working girl but wherever i nightout with my friends who are girls, My mother shout at me not to go outside and party with friends again and yell at me saying that if you won't listen to me again i curse you that- "you deserve to be raped and you are dead to me, you are not my daughter"😢😢
Yes me to after my mom call the police on for no reason wasting the police time and lying on me she kick me out so I pack my stuff and move back to my home town and change my number it’s going on 2 years now
Yes which I don’t understand my teeth is messed up so bad and rotten and I gave up my apartment to come help her with her bills or whatever she was still jealous cause I had a good paying job and I love that job and I also do social media she couldn’t stand it
Amen!!! I have a very narcissistic mother. She tries to destroy every happiness that I have. She always tried to steal my friends and got jealous when boys gave me attention. She even got jealous when I went back to school. She said I was self-absorbed. I stay away from her as much as possible. My daughter is totally an updated version of me and I am so happy for her. I prayed for guidance for help to give her the childhood that I never had. Thank you for this video. *Natasha Dudley Vause
When my mom told me “you are not miss America” that confirmed what I was already feeling that she is envious of me. From then on I blocked her on all social media platforms because it made me feel uncomfortable with her looking at my pics knowing that she feels jealous🤦🏾♀️
I'm 30yrs single working girl but wherever i nightout with my friends who are girls, My mother shout at me not to go outside and party with friends again and yell at me saying that if you won't listen to me again i curse you that- "you deserve to be raped and you are dead to me, you are not my daughter"!!
Imagine being like that to your daughter 😥 My daughter is the most amazing person in the world! Imagining trying to turn out that light, just to boost myself, is just cruel. Why have children if you dont love them for who they are? If you cant love the light they shine, the person they are, what they accomplish that makes them happy? My brain simply cant compute! Then again, my mother had the traits of a philantropic narcissist, so maybe I learned the hard way how NOT to be a parent.
This term is so important philanthropic narcissist. Did you mean that she was ever ready to save the world but when it came to deal with you she couldn't ever hear the cry of your soul ?! I guess & feel so.
True on both accounts. Had to let her go because it was too damaging to continue a relationship with her. She could never see how harmful her behaviors and words were.
@@paulaellis6242well I look for people like you that can relate to me I am 42 and I am my only child as well and this lady have destroyed me mentally all my life and I'm just now learning about what a narcissist is and I look just like my dad he is a red-headed person and she blames my dad for getting her on drugs 30 years ago they divorce when I was 9 and I feel like she's always took that out on me and the fact that I look like him I recently had to go no contact and I don't have a lot of people to talk to about this situation God bless you and me
This is so true. I even told my mom a month ago how I always wondered why she never loved me and why she always treated me the way she did? She just looked at me and did not answer my questions. Smh
Jealousy is threw the roof. Constantly competing with me. Lies so vicious it's criminal. Set ups constant. Tried to steal affection of my children from me. Extremely manipulative and hurtful.
I watched a video abt how older narc moms don't want their daughters to get married so they will be available to take care of them. I casually repeat it to my mother as if it was just a thought they came to mind. Her reply was simply to turn her head and look out of the window.
@@deneendemosthenes9921 Made a lot of sense after a really good man (so I tht) came in my life and I asked her to pray WITH me to see if he was for me. She said I can't pray for you. What they fail to realize is, imo, getting the right husband means she would have gained a son. Smh. But, i guess being that they're selfish, they can't see past 'me', they can't think that far ahead.
I thought I was mad.Why? Everyone believes a mother has the best interest of her child. So,I felt I was imagining things. But,the scales has fallen away from my eyes
Explains why my mother would ignore my personal upkeep needs. For years thought she was struggling financially ( till I discovered she was buying make up for herself of course). She was jealous. And she didn't want me to wear makeup or dress attractively.
The extra bonus is being required to achieve to make her look good and she sabotages it as soon as she gets the idea you got more attention and accolades than she. 🎉
How did you leave ? My dads wants us to be together but I can’t ( she caused it to be that way) hopefully she does not see me as a second class how she bash people and me. I must be Tarakan or partJewish ,blaming me for their problems left and right. But I’ll survive .
Imagine growing up with a mother like this, even certain manipulations into adulthood, I kept my distance by 27.. a good long distance.. fast forward 20 years and you having to move into their home to help take care of them. You wanna talk abt a reality show.
Spreading rumors for you to lose friends , accusing me, thinking she’s slick with to separate me from my partners and using threatening language when you try to get one.
@@marciloni12 right my mom wanted to train me to hate my Dad because her own dad never loved her in the way she wanted. Of course l saw thru her lies . Then she punished me the rest of my life by witholding approval and lying about me to everyone, calling me a satan worshipper because l had Rushdie's book lol. Muslims then we're calling America the great Satan so his title meant American verses. But mom was undereducated and bitter against me. In heaven she won't be . I will see her as she was meant to be then. She denies anyone's reality except her own imagination. Very sad and preventible.
It's difficult having a decent mother/daughter relationship every little girl wants with a narcissistic mother. I needed to accept that fairy tale doesn't live here. I'm cordial with her, like a frenemy. 😎
Didn’t show up for my NHS ceremonies Didn’t show up for my cheerleading games Left early from my college graduation Ridiculed me for my college degree, “you think you’re smarter and better than everyone” Minutes after my engagement, as everyone else is celebrating, whispered in my ear “now you get to be the princess you all way wanted to be” (you could imagine the tone of that one) Told me months after my father committed suicide that he denied I was his child Thankfully I just went through over a year of therapy. Right now I’m in the “no contact” phase.
I no longer expect a relationship with my mother. We have been estranged from 2013, and it will remain that way. I believe she would snap and do real damage to me. Because she is a provoker, I fear that I would snap and still lose my life. It is better that we stay apart.
This is the story of my life! I’m 60 years old and it doesn’t get any better. Thank God I live in another state, and I haven’t visited her in over seven years. The hate she has for me is so real that I fear for my physical safety.😔
My mother destroyed my life when I was a child. She never loved me and left me for her ex-boyfriend when I was 12. All her life, she cared for me the least but remained super good to others including her boyfriends. She became successful and built her life on the graveyard of my dead spirit. She is a criminal and murderer to me.
Extremely jealous with envy. My mother hated my relationship with my nieces and nephews. I would see how she would look at me without her knowing I’m paying attention to her. It was pure envy. She would stomp off like a little kid. She is very immature.
You don't have to tell me cuz I lived it! I didnt realize why til after my 40s. I am not in contact with her and don't plan on being! I love her! She's my mom! But I can love her from afar! I have a daughter! And I love my baby girl and thank God every day for blessing me with this beautiful soul! Even being raised by one I can't comprehend the parents that are like this! And I don't want to! Parents are supposed to love, cherish, protect, provide, and raise our children to be the best them they can be through support and stability! Im not a perfect parent and make many mistakes...but I try to learn from them and I love love love her and would never allow anything or anyone to hurt her or make her feel less than she is! She is perfectly imperfect as a human and she is unique as every child is! And she is loved! Jealousy, rivalry, hate....those words should have no meaning for the children of this world from those meant to take care of them! It just makes them sad examples of life that are missing out on the greatest most wonderful feelings in the world that our kids bring! They miss out on being in the light of these wonderful beings that are our blessings! SMH😔
@Lori Reed being "cut out" isn't a bad thing, lolol. Tranquility & peace us a blessing. 🤣🤣🤣 Do you think I allow mere opinions to bother or define me? Don't hold your breath there, Darlin '
She always criticized me for everything and compared me to her. Always. That left me traumatized even now. Even if people say I am intelligent, smart I will never take it seriously. I will rather take those people seriously who talk negative things about me and brood over them and cry. Slowly I realised it came from my narcissistic mother. I hope one day the inner child is healed completely. 👍🏼
That is my relationship with her. You forgot to mention, not supporting them or putting down their natural talents and gifts. But I have an older sister that she does not act anything like that.
Daughter of a narcissistic mother 🙋♀️ and yes on both of these. There was jealousy while I was in college until she destroyed it for me, wouldn't allow me to study, then became rageful when I managed to get a care on my own to get to class. She hates that I have a supportive and wonderful husband. And she's always HATED when she's been asked how I was doing from people in spaces that I was involved in, like my sport, schooling, or friend circles. She was angry that the focus wasn't on her.
My mother is like this...she is getting worse...every day I feel like dying...every moment I wait for death...I don't know when death will come...life has been hell since 26 years. .please someone help me
Yeah, it's true. Whenever I try to focus on advancing my studies and career, she interrupts me. And whenever I receive attention and love from others, she appears to be sad. She used to curse me and use bad words most often. She made me feel like I was going through a living hell. She makes me regret everything I do.
That's why i don't talk with my mother about anything. She's jealous of my clothes ( every time i buy something for myself she says she wants some too or simply never comes to see what i buy 😂 or how i look with the new thing i just bought and once i clocked this i was like yea never againnn) jealous of my artistic career that she tried endlessly to sabotage or say im not good enough or shove in my face local dumb "stars". She made sure to also leave me in an abusive situation when i was a child. My mother does not deserve to stand 2 m away from me, which means the best treatment you can apply to narcs is just leave! Never look back, go no contact, no holidays, no major life events, and NO FUNERALS either.
During her times.. My grandparents never let her out of the house.. Never let her have friends.. Always doubted her.. And now she's doing the same with me.. She locks me up in my room all day.. Not letting me hang out with my friends.. Not letting me have friends.. Even if I ask her that i want to go outside she'll always deny and taunt me
Yessss it was a competition! Only children & teen daughters don’t know it. We just feel inadequate, less than because our Narc mom’s ALWAYS criticized us!!!! Never 👎 a compliment. My parents paid for both my brothers college. I worked in a factory & paid for mine. Meanwhile she RAGED that my working rotating shifts- she was so dumb she couldn’t keep up & her CONTROLLING behavior- she threw me out of the house tho I paid her rent- used the public laundry mat (she claimed I washed my blue jeans too much- annoyed her). Only girl & my FIRST OBGYN visit my mom took me suddenly without ANY explanation (I was a virgin) to a FREE PUBLIC GYNO EXAM! By a mean doctor who spoke no English idk 🤷♀️ what to expect- meanwhile my mother went Shopping 🛍 while I waited for this appointment & felt molested, raped- because she nor, the doctor told me a thing. We were UPPER MIDDLE CLASS & had GOID INSURANCE, owned a lovely home, pool etc. No reason for that mis treatment
Now that I know what I narcissist is I realize now that that is what my mother was you are so correct in what you're saying straight up fact and here it is I thought she just hated me I realized she minted when she said she would she never had me
Its so sad and heartbreaking. All I ever wanted was a normal relationship with my mother and it took me so long to realize and believe she was sabotaging me in every way she could behind my back and also talking badly about me,even trying to turn my kids against me and tried to convince them I didn't love them,and the truth is she doesn't even know me. I couldn't talk to her she weaponized anything and everything against me,so I had to give up. I have been no contact since September,after she called CPS on me with lies,that was the final straw I had to be done. I don't allow anyone to mess with my kids in any way. My kids didn't tell me til they were older all she said about behind my back. I never want anything but the best for my kids no matter what. I just want to heal but it seems impossible.
Your 2nd sentence caught my eye. Im 46, i went nc about 17 years ago for about 2 years. It was rough since then. Despite all that we decided to move cross country last year to give my parents the opportunity to get to spend what time they have left living near our kiddos. We are back home. It did not go well. Got a text new years eve to come over and talk. My hubby and i have not spoken to her since dec. 31. This time, there will be no going back. Ive been in therapy for 17 years. It helped me tremendously. I am sorry you are going through this. Stay strong. From what i read you are the cycle breaker never let them take that from you💙💙💙
@@Ginabina76 I'm so sorry. Yeah I have figured out nothing you can do but go no contact, I just wish I would have sooner because of all the damage she has caused. It takes awhile to see it and believe it because we truly do not have such hatred in us I think. I could never ever do the things to my kids she has to me. My daughter graduated this week and I feel such happiness and pride for her. I couldn't imagine not wanting the best for any of my kids. You stay strong too! Sounds like your an awesome person and Mother and that you deserve the best,and a mother like ours is not that. ❤️❤️❤️ Yay! To breaking cycles.
