Narcissists and the Silent Treatment 

Narcissists give you the silent treatment when *THEY* have hurt you and *YOU* refuse to apologize.

There’s a story. A husband was giving his wife the silent treatment. He wrote her a note and put it on her night stand, on her side of the bed. The note said wake me up at 5 a.m. The next morning, the husband woke at 9 a.m. His wife was not in the house. He saw a note on his night stand by his side of the bed. The note said, it’s 5 a.m. wake up.

Love the silent treatment from a narcissist. Sometimes the trash takes itself out.

Yesterday made 1 month of the silent treatment. It’s never gone this long because usually I’d apologize…but honey he can have it this time. I’m sick of it, sick of him, sick of life around him. His whole family is toxic and weird. He has taught me throughout this entire relationship how to live alone…I’ve started planning my exit.

If they go silent then you go silent.........forever! Don't ever give them a 2nd chance.

They give you the silent treatment when they are at fault or hurt you but don't want to apologize.

There's no point in trying to force them to communicate. It just fuels them. They ENJOY watching you beg, suffer, go crazy.....

Once I realized that the narcissist enjoys my discomfort and I then realized there was nothing of value they provided to my life, it was easy to see the silent treatment as a blessing.

Silent treatment from a narcissist is a relief. A gift.

Being with a person who is unable to communicate is hell.

Month 7 of silent treatment, I am still standing strong

They go MIA for hours to days with no communication and come back around like nothing happened.

They think that the silent treatment is a punishment, but it's a welcome relief, and shows how easy life without them will be.

Dr Ramani should be nominated for Nobel peace prize for allowing so many people to spot narcissists and live a happy life

Narcissist hate the silent treatment too, when they see you accept the treatment and you go around being happy without making any contact to them, it just pisses them off even more because they expect you to make the effort to apologize or kiss their ass.

Reasons for narcissistic silent treatment: • Stonewalling • Gaslighting • Emotional immaturity • Lack of interpersonal skill • Victimhood • Dysregulation Reasons for a healthy-minded individual to give the silent treatment: • To establish a boundary after their boundaries have been continuously crossed. It's a last resort for someone who is emotionally capable and mature enough to communicate.

The silent treatment is abuse and evil. It’s torture.

They need to teach this in schools. The amount of damage emotional abuse causes is just so far-reaching. Love to anyone going through this. You're not alone.

I went 39 years thinking the silent treatment was normal for relationships. Mind blown.

Silent treatment empowered me to leave my ex. We had had the mother of arguments, so he decided he wasn't going to talk to me for a week. Since we were not living together, we used to talk over the phone every day. So, on this particular week, he decided not to call, no texts, nothing! Well, what happened was that week I felt so much peace, I didn't miss him, I didn't think about him and i knew it was time So, I sent him a text telling him that I was enjoying the silence and wanted us to continue that way. Gal! He was mad! I never looked back.

In my 20s, the silent treatment drove me insane. In my 40s, I now realize it's a wonderful mini-vacation. Ahhh. Put your feet up, pass the drinks and enjoy the silence.

What’s WORSE is when the narc accuses you of silent treatment when it’s just that you’re an introvert exhausted with their games of chaos. 😞

I received the silent treatment once i laid down a boundary. I later discovered the number one way to find out if someone has borderline or narcissist personality disorder is just tell the person no.

The silent treatment hurts especially when you’re the one being singled out. You walk into a room where the narcissist is, and he/she talks to everyone but you. You begin to question what is wrong with you, why are they friendly with everyone else and ignoring you?

I’ve noticed that a lot of narcissists lack conflict resolution skills . Perhaps it’s due to their inability to take responsibility for their actions .

For all empaths out there,let silent treatment be a blessing and gift to you.......Its a chance to ESCAPE FROM THESE DEMONS! That treatment is not legal or acceptable.

The silent treatment makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I am always surprised at how much stamina they have to keep this up for so long.

What a waste of one’s life, energy and emotions to be involved with a narc. They just never change. There’s no hope. If they are covert narcs ,you will be subtly abused. Others won’t see it, but you’ll be made “ the crazy person” to their friends who don’t know how evil they are. It’s the worst thing for your mental health to stay with a narcissist, even if your relationship moves to friendship. They are spiritually dead inside and use your life, time and energy to fill their cup, or will be on the prowl for another supply or have one waiting on the shelf. They’re basically vampires, sucking the lifeblood out of others. Be happy when they are gone. Life will feel more peaceful, eventually you’ll heal. and you won’t be getting sucked dry constantly. Life is too short to waste on these abusers. Value yourself.

The 91 "thumbs down" dislikes are from Narcissists who found this video while looking through their SOs browsing history.

This is one of the main signs of a narcissist. I always say if you want to know who a person really is, tell them no..or refuse to give them something they want and see how they react.

The silent treatment.....you ask "what have I done?" ...they answer..."If you don't know I'm not going to tell you"

I think the best counter to this immature attitude is to adapt and play with the narcissist’s drama of silent treating them back but do it with grace and don’t let your inner peace be disturbed.

I just want everyone to know that is reading this, that you can heal, you can move on, you don't deserve this kind of treatment from anyone. There is a better and more loving life waiting for you to be ready to receive it.

Stay strong everybody and move on

My own experiences with Narcissists has taught me that they are wounded at an early age and never properly managed the damage left by their parents in childhood. It's petulance and self absorbption that reveals itself in many very unsavory ways. Lack of communication and Silence is one for sure. Playing the victim card is another. All these point to a need for validation and a stroking of the ego. It's a constant need for love masked in validation, praise or attention.

I love how they think this is a punishment. It's nice not to have them picking a fight . Keep it up forever please.

they have the emotional maturity of a 12 years old

Silent treatment when you question their behavior, when you accuse them of wrong doing,when you catch them red handed,when you hurt their fragile ego,when you dishonor their selfish feelings,when you take off their mask,when you ask them to own up,when you expect them to do right and ethical task,when you prove they are cheap.Its still not a full list.

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

Narcissists do the opposite of what is right. That’s what makes them so cruel. If they’re capable of crazy-making and gaslighting you to get their way, if they’re capable of giving you the silent treatment knowing you’re in pain and looking for answers, if they’re capable of destroying your reputation by starting a smear campaign and if they’re capable of triangulating you with their flying monkeys so they can humiliate you…then why in the world wouldn’t they be capable of something like cheating? Narcissists are entitled. Narcissists lack empathy. Narcissists are delusional enough to justify their actions. They have all of the ingredients for being a cheater. They’re known for cruel and devastating discards, but somehow they would stop at cheating on you because they have morals and just couldn’t go through with it? No one can truly believe that. The narcissist believes he’s so slick that the other person’s name will actually come up in conversations, if you’re paying attention. But the narcissist will mention them with disgust, as if he wants nothing to do with them. “I can’t stand working with Karen. She annoys me everyday and I can’t believe the things she wears sometimes.” It’s a test to see how you respond to this name coming up periodically. It’s also a way for the narcissist to gain some sadistic glee because they can talk about the other person with you while you’re not yet aware of this person’s role in their life. When they drop the bomb on your head and the realization hits that they’re leaving you for “that Karen” they’ll be overjoyed. If you’re with a narcissist you should be prepared for the push and pull, the other women or men popping up or even outside children. They can’t even be trusted to show up to an event on time. They certainly can’t be trusted with your heart. Additionally, Cheating in marriages is not restricted to only men. Women cheat as much as men do. If you're suspecting your wife of infidelity, you'll have to keep an eye on her of her without her knowledge of her. One of the best ways to know if your spouse cheats on social platforms is by paying close attention to how your spouse behaves while online. The signs are pretty the same. Is your spouse more time on the app without explanation and gets unnecessarily defensive when you ask about it? If your spouse behavior has changed lately, and continues to spend more time on social apps, it's time for you to take action, with the help of a private investigator (suggested; METASPYHUB@GMAIL. COM , you can find out what is taking all their time on social apps, who they are talking to and other things happening,,

They use the silent treatment as a way to punish you for calling them out on their bad behavior. They hope by giving you the silent treatment you will stop trying to hold them accountable or make you feel like you are somehow at fault. It is truly cruel

My husband comes into the room and says hi to the kids one at a time... and ignores me completely. I’m moving out July 1st thank God.

I’m always thankful for the silent treatment!❤️ =I get a break from hateful/demeaning words!

Narcissistic people ignore you and refuse to apologize, a victim of the abuse goes silent after they have had enough of it and refuse to argue with the abuser

Silent treatment... they can dish it out nonchalantly but they can’t take it

Don't deal with a person that is wiling to use the silent treatment instead of talking to you directly about the issues that they have with you.

you know you are healed when you welcome it as a BREAK from them and laugh ~ and when they do it ~ you immediately see it

"The only adult in the room" so true.

When they giving u the silent treatment they usually use that time to talk to they new supply

"Pretend you are on a silent retreat" -> best advice ever !! 😂 thx Dr Ramani !

I am not a narcissist, but a kind person who constantly has his generosity mistaken for weakness. Toxic people think me an easy mark. I find the silent treatment leaves them bewildered as to what to do next and I highly recommend it as a technique to completely disarm toxic people on your case.

Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!

The best is when you turn the silent treatment into no contact. It worked like a charm for me.

Going on week 2 of the silent treatment…I thank God for the silence and the distance. It’s like I’m being taught to live without him which is going to happen VERY soon!!

Silent treatment is hurts I lived with very bad Narcissist for 40 I don't know how I was hurt I am divorced after 42 years of marriage It was so hard to live with him he was controlling me verbally abused me I was a servant for him he treated me so bad. Now I have a peaceful life thank you Dr Ramani.

Thank you. I am in month 4 of silent treatment... I went through layers of doubting myself, anger, hurt, considering to give the apologies, for setting up boundaries. It is difficult to see your loved ones acting like that. You gotta love yourself:)

The narc will give you the silent treatment and when you go no contact, they will say YOU are giving them the silent treatment.

The silent treatment is only meant to punish. It resolves absolutely nothing. I no longer let it tear me up. I just move along and say, “Silence is golden.” The narc’s silence is better than hearing all the lies every time he opened his mouth.

I used to get the cabinet slamming silent treatment all the time as a kid. My mother terrified me. Once, she went 3 whole days of silence and ignoring me. She did (and still does) this cruel behavior with my father.

I booted mine out and the shock on his face was priceless haha after 11 years a covert and I knew nothing about this. I just couldn't take anymore and he had to go. 18 months later I am doing a lot better. So glad I had the strength and he never looked back

Narcissists are the most immature individuals I've ever come across. I remember trying a few times to try to talk to a narcissist and reason with them, but once I learned what they were, I realized there was no point in attempting to try to communicate with them like an adult.

The silent treatment provides the narc with the perfect cover for avoiding engaging with you when he/she wants to go do something else.

I got the silent treatment for months. 4 years later and divorced, I still get the silent treatment while trying to coparent. So I basically raised my child by myself with no help from mom. It truly is emotional abuse and it's the only type of abuse that can continue without consequences for the abuser.

I saw this silent treatment in my husband of 30 years right at the start when we were friends and he was ignoring his then girlfriend. He also did it to me two weeks before our wedding and I still have no idea why….I could have done with knowing this 30 years ago!!! This is why it’s so important to educate future generations with this information about NPD in all its forms so that we save many possible victims.

The silent treatment used to make me so mad. Now I find it funny. Healing must be taking place.

They have NOTHING to say to YOU! Unless they have a “command”! Unless they command or manipulate they have NOTHING to say to YOU!

My mother gave me the silent treatment beginning when I was a child. She refused to speak to me, but, when she wanted me to do something, she would write it on a piece of paper and slap it down on a table in front of me. I never knew why she did this, and i was much too young to deal with it. Those silent treatments went on for months at a time. I am an only child, and I felt so alone because of that behavior. Throughout our lives, my mother gave me the silent treatment for 2 years at a time. We lost 10 years of our lives together because of this abusive behavior. The only reason my mother's behavior didn't make me crazy was that I realized she did this to everyone: my father, every one of the neighbors, and even her best friend. I realized from a very young age that she was mentally ill. Even so, I took care of both my parents until they died at almost 91. I never felt as though I had a life. I think that both of my parents loved me in the only ways they could (my father was a violent alcoholic and tried to kill me 3 times - until I eloped at age 17), but I also know that they damaged me. Life has always been very hard for me. I find comfort in nature. It has not harmed me.

He did that in such a chronic way that I understood we were living separate lives and although incredibly difficult I was able to regain my freedom, peace and life back.

I did get to the point where I longed for the silence

The silent treatment is a way to discipline you if they don’t get their own way and they love the chase if your trying to talk to them and get them to communicate but all that happens is you exhaust and you always end being the one to apologize. Don’t do it

Oh, here's my mother. I think the longest time she gave me and my sister the silent treatment was for about three years. Truly, three years straight. It's been on and off like that for the last 11 years, so more recently, she gave me the silent treatment straight through these past two years of the pandemic. After which I have decided to finally go no contact, because I simply cannot handle it anymore - not emotionally, mentally, or even physically. My health is shattered. I need to focus on myself now.

What if you're giving the silent treatment because every time you've tried to address a relationship issue calmly and directly, the person explodes and twists your words and you start being silent, hoping they come to you when they want to know why you're upset? I gave up striving for adult conversation when I got doors slammed in my face and yelled at.

I took the silent treatment as freedom to keep the same energy and not ever say a single word to them. This silent treatment is fantastic. Whew thank goodness.

The silent treatment is “emotional abuse”. I would make fun of my ex when he gave me the silent treatment. I called it his “pout and punish” mode. How I wish I had dumped him the very first time he did it when we were dating!

I slowly started to believe as I went through different relationships, that women are like that and how does anyone date them. But as I've been learning about narcissism, I realize, I've been attracted to narcissists all my life, probably because I wanted to be good enough for whatever narcissistic behaviour I experienced as a child. My reality of women was becoming twisted due to my own abuse-seeking personality. I also learned that I have and had a lot of covert narcissism traits so resonating with another narcissist on first impressions was probably automatic for me. This has been very useful for my own self-analyisis as well as analysis of others.

OMG, this is my mother to the "T". She's currently giving me the silent treatment and I actually prefer it. She's not trying to manipulate me by being a victim. 🙄 When I was a teenager, yeah, I fell for it. I figured her out & her manipulative ways in my 20s. I'm in my 40s now & geez, she still thinks that I'd fall for her tactics. I actually prefer it this way. Thank you again Dr. Ramani. ☺

Incapacity to communicate breaks you like hell. It feels like a one sided relationship and makes you feel unworthy and disrespecting.

Talk about how narcissists HATE to be silent treated!

Dr. Ramani gave me new life!!

The more I watch your videos, the more validating they are for me because I keep seeing so many signs of my mother being a narcissist (covert probably?) and it really helps with the self doubt - I don't want to go no contact or completely gray stone, but I am moving out to live on my own, so here's to things becoming better in the future :') thank you for your amazing videos, they've really helped me!

The reason can be that the narcissist has been cruel to the victim, and then has to punish the victim for looking hurt. Yeah, very bizarre and dysfunctional and completely self-absorbed.

I used the silence treatment of his to end the 'relationship' finally. 🥳

I have endured several years of this and other narcissistic behavior! The man really gave me a hard time with my girls. Blamed me for everything ,mistreated me ,hurt me immensely emotionally,was angry with me every single day of my life!!! Raged at me for silly reasons,saying bad words and insulting me alone and in front of my kids. He never was happy ever for a single moment! My advice for people living with a narcissist: Exit their lives and Never look back! Be happy and save your life!

Such an excellent video. It is definitely a big red flag and it feels torturous to be on the receiving end of it, especially when you are aware of and know how to communicate in healthy ways. I cannot imagine giving my children this kind of treatment and yet here I am living with an adult who seems to enjoy punishing me in this way.

"an adult tantrum", True. "so be the only adult in the room", Yes. I choose to be the adult when given the silent treatment by a Narcissist. I walk away, and take it as an opportunity to go "No Contact". I'm done with toxic people, period!

I’m actually enjoying the silent treatment. Inner peace.

Dr.Ramani has literally saved me so many times from losing my sh!t with a narcissist I’ve been through so much therapy but these videoed help me every now and then 😭

I would sit infront of him and beg him to talk to me and he would stay silent this brings me so much relief knowing that he was just being a narcissist

when i get the silent treatment i sing "its the most wonderful time of the yearrr"

Am I alone here? I LOVE the silent treatment. It stops the constant negative, expletive-filled criticism and soul destroying diatribes. Bring it on.

On month 8 of silent treatment from my narcissistic mother and all of my 5 siblings. She has always used my siblings to mirror what she does to me. She knows it hurts me. The worst thing is, this last round of silent treatment came on the day after my fathers death. I was the one who held and cared for him when he took his last breath. It tore my heart out. Now instead of being there for me they all turned their backs and froze me out. Mad because I cared for my mothers exhusband (my father) is just something I will never understand. I feel as if this current silence is the end. I am done.

Hi Dr. Ramani, your videos has helped me tons on how to maneuver around my narcissistic MIL. I'm teaching my 10 yr old daughter who has been shamed, nagged, and threatened how to handle her emotions and put on her boundaries. I've taught the tools that I've learned from your videos. Thank you!!

The silent treatment is what my ex-husband thought was a way to "break up" with me after 7 years of marriage, ironically the best thing that happened to me

I really find it interesting when they realize after a few weeks the silent treatment isn't working!

Thanks Dr R. I found this video helpful. I've had the silent treatment for a number of years from one of my three daughters. The pain of rejection is easing as I slowly learn to focus my energies on the positive relationships I have around me. It's almost like a process of grieving the life I imagined I'd have one day.

I love your videos!!! It is so to the point and the free and sovereign way you are - all together - just love. I have something you may understand too its the "paralized words" inside of me. I know how I feel or what I want to say but I find no words to describe .... when someone speaks like you I take a deep breath and feel relieved.... thank you! .....after many years of learning and feeling.

The best response to the silent treatment IMHO is to ignore it. Go on with your daily routine even enjoy the respite.

I love the silent treatment, it’s better than anything that comes from their garbage mouth.

Thank you so much Dr. Ramani, I can feel great shifts in understanding through your work and clarity. I have withstood silent treatment from my sister for over three years and it was something that also occurred in my family when I was a child. I now understand the level of pain and how I was drawn into certain responses, thank you.

Oh my god, my ex, a “vulnerable narcissist,”, did this all the time. We married when I was so young, and I came from a family of narcissists, so I didn’t see how abusive, and infantile, and beyond-normal it was. My daughter could see it from a really young age. She only recently told me she always thought I was being abused.