my girlfriend and I were both working and we were struggling up until our mid 30s. We've just recently started doing well and its because I lucked into a good job and then I got her a good job in the same company and she got promoted. I saw someone venting on a discord the other day, shes in her early 20s and at one of her first jobs and shes mad that her husband keeps saying they "arent financially ready" and is about to leave him if he keeps putting it off. I can't imaging forcing someone to have a kid in this economy when you are in your 20s barely making above minimum. I started working before the 2008 crash and I was making double minimum at the time and even then I couldn't imaging supporting someone and a child, much less now. I could probably pull it off now, but it took me to almost 40 and with a partner who we now make both the average income in the country. It sucks if someone really wants kids, but forcing someone else to do that when you have no financial stability is fucked up. Like I'd love a mansion in the woods, but we can't always get what we want.
My kids are 17 and 23 now. We couldn’t afford child care when my eldest was little in the early 2000s, so as the person who didn’t make as much I ended up being a stay at home Mom. I HATED it…so, so much. It didn’t help that both of my kids actually need a lot of support have have special needs and the support that we were told we would get from grandparents never happened. Now that I could get a job out of the home nobody will hire me because of a 20 year gap in my employment history. If I were in my early 20s right now with how everything is I would not have kids either. We still struggle with the youngest at home and an elderly parent living with us as well, I can’t imagine starting a family with how things are going right now.
I wish it was still possible to run a household off a single pay check, got nothing wrong with women having careers, it's more beneficial on net, or even just switching the roll around, I’d happily be a house husband, my partner and I reckon the most ideal solution would be to tag team it, work part time, spend the rest of the week taking care of the kids, alternating. A shared workload really does help keep the family together, I don't mind cooking when I'm given a set of explicit instructions, I'm thankful for those meal kit services. I was pretty self-sufficient before my girlfriend moved in with me, so I've made sure to keep that cadence. In Australia it's also not uncommon to just bring your kids to work and tell your employer to deal with it, at least in the commercial service rolls...
I am 20 so I'm basically still a kid but I feel like the idea of having kids can be self-defeating. You should only have kids if you are economically stable and it doesn't cause you to replace your personal goals, your individuality. The idea of having a kid is that that kid becomes your life work - you raise that kid so that they will have dreams and aspire to achieve great things and become someone, to realize their own potential and individuality. However when we have this culture which forces everyone to have kids in their 20s this potential is never achieved, and we end up having an endless cycle of raising children with wonder about what they may achieve, only to subject them to the same dream-crushing grind of parenthood, and so on and so forth. The greatest scientists, statesmen, philosophers, etc. were notorious for not having a very strong relationship with their wives and children - prioritizing their work over their own kin. This entire topic can be expanded to include people who voluntarily stay single or unmarried because they don't want to devote their lives in service of somebody else.
yes, kids as "products" that have to be individually perfected and optimised with heavy resources - and generally people as products as a result - has really messed up so much.
I don't even want to be here, why would I drag another being into existence that might feel the same? Why risk if I can totally not make that a possibility?
I feel a bit differently I feel like I did not get a choice on if I wanted to be here and sometimes I feel like I get gas lit into just being thankful I am here when I did not chose to be here and I can't exactly leave if I wanted too.
You realize your ancestors lived through famine, starvation, war, genocide and all manner of horrors, right? Every day was struggle like you can't even comprehend and yet not a single one of them quit early. Life has been suffering for 4 billion years to give you a chance to succeed. Don't throw away your shot!
I’ve established that I would like to be a father, but actually wanting to bring kids into this world is hard to come to grips with. I’m of the belief that your goal should be to give your child a better life than you had, or if not than at least equal, not to mention actually wanting to raise the child. If things keep heading in the direction they have been, then I can’t say I feel good about creating another human. If I’m not 100% on board, and financially ready for it, there will be no kids. Part of that brings me down a bit, but I’m young so things can change
@@emswildworld it’s kind of forced upon us to a point, but I stay optimistic. My old man was 44 when I was born, that’s 20 years out for me. There’s time to turn this all around. We’ll see
@@seabreeze4559 I mainly use that as an example. I suspect I’d come to final decision to have kids long before that age. Also true that, at a point, greater age increases the chances of defects in a child, but you’re always rolling the dice regardless of age. I think I turned out just fine, but it’s always luck of the draw
Interesting seeing how the majority of the comments don’t like children, i would love to look at the statistics to see what type of household the different groups grew up in. My whole life plans have always been to have a traditional family and just be able to have a comfortable life where we get to go on vacation once or twice a year. I grew up in a middle class family not upper nor lower middle class, just dead middle, and we took family vacations 2 times a year and we did everything together, family is all I’ve ever had, all friends and acquaintances do is just let you down. They don’t provide the love we seek in life the way a wife/husband and children will provide for you. I’ve stuck by the lifestyle of traditional live my parents stood together and didn’t get divorced because they made this promise to God, they worked together to raise us switching back and forth to take care of us, we never went out to eat always made meals ate home to save money so we could take 2 vacations a year and get fixer upper boats and 4wheelers. Religion has played a major role in our family, along with hard work, webpage always been blue collar. We learned how to fix things ourself and how to build things, which has saved us thousands of dollars. Personally i seem to noticed the people who don’t wants kids have divorced parents, none religious, or live in large city’s. I think it’s fine if you don’t want kids, you do you, but for me I’m planning my future for kids I’m working 60hour every week and saving money to prepare for that chapter of my life when it comes. I’m very blessed that God has watched over our family for years and that we have stuck together to build something bigger then our individual selfs
Do not have children if a) you can't afford them and b) you can't afford to spend time with them. That is a vanishingly small number of people. This is what vast and extreme wealth inequality due to neoliberalism has resulted in. And if not having children makes me unlikeable to the likes of tukkker carlson, that's just the icing on the cake.
Given how much money he has he could financial afford to have more but only mulitmillionares like elon have that many kids or angelian and i know tha t they are apodted which is great . alot of the laast generation have kids way up until they 40 and cant get them a reasonable comfortable life and they also put a expectation of marriage as something holy which makes move on from a bad partner impossible even if its just a common law marriage many people cant break up due to their child needing them . Wisely tucker doesnt have more cause he couldnt affored to do anything fun with them
And yet millions of children are being born and surviving in Africa with next to nothing. Billions upon Billions of lives have been lived without the things you call basic. Extreme wealth inequality is when your ancestors hadn't eaten in 4 days and still had to fight against a competitor with a full stomach.
@@MrHellelement yeah, surviving. i think when given a choice no loving parent wants their child to exist merely to survive, it's mindless. reproduction just to experience suffering and die is absolutely mindless.
@@maridl8807Any real loving parent would do everything in their power for their child to survive. There must be something worth living for if so many millions have chosen life over giving in to what are basically suicidal thoughts.
Ever since I was a young teenager I knew I did not want children. I was always told "You'll change your mind". I'm 23 now, when exactly am I going to change my mind?? If anything I want children less and less.
Please god or flying spaghetti monster or something, never let me get alluded into marrying a man and having a baby, I just want to live with my platonic best friend or just myself forever in peace
I'm 21 and I WANT kids in my 30s, but know it's likely I won't be able to afford to. I want to go into music, and while I do see myself being able to make a living off it fully eventually, I have to deal with the fact that the vintage baby clothes I have been stashing, will likely never be worn by kids of my own... That and pregnancy scares the hell out of me and I really don't want to go through that. Woman's health is so understudied, and they expect us to be all ok with going through a traumatic event willingly? Maybe fund more research into woman's health, and give us a break child care!
We are forced to have long hours of work due to globalization. We have to compete against industries from other countries with lower regulation and overhead. If we were to lower hours worked or went to a single-parent working scenario to improve family life to what we see in TV or social media we would no longer be competitive and lose jobs to people from other states or countries.
it is a little vindicating as someone who has always rejected having kids, despite the impassioned pleas from the people who had kids and were made miserable because of it. Like nah. I don't want to be in your shoes, and I don't want some poor kid I create to be in my shoes. Why would I subject a kid to myself when I can't make myself be social with the people who _choose_ to be around me?
I saw an excellent meme of a woman smugly sipping on a drink and it was captioned like When the girl you bullied you is miserable from being infected with children. - Some of them literally treat it that way.
Most place Gen Z starting around 1997. Certainly old enough, especially with societal and peer pressure, to have kids. And even if it wasn’t, the topic is what Gen Z thinks about having kids, an opinion people of any age can form.
I think the nuclear family has to be abolished if people are going to want to have children, the other alternative is some sort of Handmaid's Tale dystopia because obviously something has to change. I think the African proverb in the beginning of the video really says it all. It can't be the child's two parents that carry the whole responsibility to raise and provide for their offspring, the whole of society needs to be involved. If all the adults in the neighbourhood participated in raising and providing for all the children in the neighbourhood, people would be happier about the idea of having kids I think. We need more collectivism, solidarity and love in our communities
Yeah tbh the idea of having children has never been one that has sounded appealing. People always say the “why would you not want to have children” or like how you put it “you’ll change your mind”. I think the world is populated well enough for me to not have children if don’t want them. Also, If I’m with someone that I love and want to spend the rest of my life with and they’d want children. That chances are that I’d have one with them, for them, but it’s not a personal ambition of mine.
Overpopulation and the possibility of how the world might continue to progress (or regress) seems to be a major factor for a lot of people. Things are pretty shaky
Honestly, in a vacuum I would like to be a mom someday when I'm much older, but because the world is complicated, I doubt I ever will. I wouldn't want to have kids when I know I won't be able to afford shit, when I don't know if I can actually be better than my parents, and what the world will even come to with all the political tensions worldwide. Not to mention that if I end up having a husband, I'd be afraid of losing my personhood and never being seen as anything more than "wife" and "mother", plus the risk of even being in a relationship. On top of all of that is terrible medical systems and risks of death in pregnancy and how tricky the adoption system is. It'd honestly be easier and wiser to not get into it in the first place.
Im 36, German, good familiar background, academic myself. And i also dont want children anymore. I could manage the costs maybe, somehow, but living in Berlin, there is no way to find affordable space for families. Main reason though: we are about to ruin our planet so much, why would i place a child in a dying world?
Okay I feel like part of the issue is lots of people still want to have sex despite the fact that they don't want children and yes I am aware of birth control and even abortions.
I believe i wont have kids because there is so much to do today and so many ways to communicate with people that having one would stop my freedoms . I could get a pet if i want to take care of among other complications people like to call others self when they dont have some type of expected relationship or arent married especially if your a woman Im 17 and havent had a gf yet and it makes me feel anexiety to tell people when they ask me so
People had children even during the black death. People don't hate their kids, they hate their lives. If you're unhappy you have no happiness to share with a child.
Hello, I'm Danny and I am 25 years old. You want to find the "perfect time" to have a child but in todays world there really is not an ideal time. I am looking to have kids within the next 5 years, it is surreal to even type it. Contributing to the next generation in a positive way by properly raising my children is what I want to do. I want to leave behind a legacy that is not solely based on my personal allocates. I want my children to embody the mentality of helping others first before their own. The question should not be when are you going to have kids, the question should be are you even prepared to be a parent? It takes a different kind of person to raise a child and not everyone can live up to that. Parenting is not for the weak.
I do want a child. I'm fortunate that I don't need to work due to the nature of my disability and I claim benefits as a result. Before I got ill I did work bloody hard, but life doesn't pan out the way you hoped. It's just life. My partner works as a teacher, but we live intergenerationally so housing costs aren't a worry. Being a mum is what I want more than anything. I want to have a baby and see my child grow and blossom into adulthood. I want to add a member to my family because we're not complete yet.
@@seabreeze4559 yep. I'm prepared to take that risk. My condition is unlikely to be fatal in pregnancy. I would be monitored more intensely and considered high risk, but I'm very unlikely to die.
If you’re getting decent benefits, you’re lucky. In my country, disability benefits are a pathetic joke. Not enough to live on-even with a partner who has a job.
Going by what I see, I think a big part is also that with traditional gender roles being mostly gone parents have no idea what they're doing and their children turn our broken and annoying - I think that's what mostly kills satisfaction from parenting. Also, when all we have to look forward to is even less freedom and children having even worse lives than their parents, clearly procreation is just morally wrong and deep down people know it.
World's such a shithole now, that people don't really have the choice they used to have regarding this. I have no problem with people making whatever decision about kids that they want, but it's depressing to me that it's not a free choice, the amount of sacrifice most people need in order to have kids nowadays is beyond ridiculous, that for many it isn't worth it. I think in better economic circumstances, many would make the decision to have kids, but can't.
@emswildworld well similarly to how the other comment mentioned britter saying "Aluminium" because they literally just wanted it to sound more sophisticated, Nukular makes no sense to pronounce, great video though
It took sacrifices for us have children. But it was worth it. Why? Because no job will ever love you giving your all to it. Does anyone really want on their tombstone, "I wish I spent more time at the office"? You'll just be replaced, and everything you did will be forgotten and updated anyway. Trust me, I found this out after I retired. Material things fade. Friends fade, move on, pass away. But children, grandchildren, and so on remain.
@@Barnsey3288 my point wasn't that british people pronounce the word wrong, but that a lot of words are pronounced a lot of different ways depending on where you are from
Parents who regret children simply never loved them. This is also the case regarding women who "settled" for a schlubby guy and had children with his sub-par genetics. This is also why I believe post-partum depression to be a total myth.
