Watch Full Episode - • Neuroscientist Dr. Hub... Stanford University Neuroscientist Dr Andrew D. Huberman discusses what women really find attractive in men from a neuroscience and evolutionary standpoint on Flagrant with Andrew Schulz.
It's more than that tho, he literally steers the conversation back to grounded knowledge. A rare trait in conversation and he does it without being rude
I love how Huberman chose to put himself in this uncomfortable podcast and talk to those idiots so he can reach out to a bigger audience of young men who need him to enhance their lives.
@@devinbradshaw9756he told you that? He obviously knew what kind of podcast he got himself into. They threat every guest the same that’s why they are so amazing podcaster’s.
@@bebareoI mean this as respectfully to the hosts as possible, but I wish Andrew would run the podcast by himself or with just Akaash. The other guys constantly interject at the most frustrating times. It’s incessant and completely ruins my focus on every guest that goes on this show. I’m sure they’re a fun group outside of this but it is intolerable to watch in a podcast format.
@@devinbradshaw9756 bruh just because he’s a neuroscientist doesn’t mean he can’t relate to them. He probably enjoyed a break from all the uptight shit in academia.
They disrespected him so much. The sad part is what he is saying is really interesting but gets lost because of the constant interruptions with “jokes”
@@cristinacendejas5094 I love Andrew Huberman but it’s a comedy podcast. It’s like going on a dance show and refusing to dance. The dude next to you starts breakdancing and you go “so anyway, the prefrontal cortex is the centre of control…”
@@cristinacendejas5094 I think it's subjective if it's disrespectful, making jokes doesn't make something less important in my opinion, I think it makes a real conversation more fun
He isn't describing nice guys because kindness is different to niceness. Kindness comes from an understanding of suffering, and the man who has endured and overcome suffering in his life is usually resilient. Niceness, however is a (somewhat) socially enforced rule, which has it's necessary place in polite society in order to help social cohesion. However, it fails in intimate relationships.
Yeah but the problem is, people mistake kindness for people pleasing, or weakness. Especially if you don’t look big or intimidating, showing kindness doesn’t look like a strong man toning himself down, it looks like a weak man that is just trying to be liked. That’s why you mit excel in other areas so you can appear strong, so that when you do show kindness, people are thankful for it instead of seeing you as weak.
Kindness does not find from suffering, it comes from not being an asshole. Stop trying to over complicate it. Women like to be treated well, it’s THAT simple.
When they are all clowning and joking and Huberman just smiles and shuffled on his chair uncomfortably is priceless. I have followed him for years, but also find some of these guys funny. But to see them together is so odd!
@@mrjamesgrimes not really. The interesting point is the idea that the guy doesn't have to be kind in general to be attractive. Which is what we would have assumed.
@@mrjamesgrimes “Like” and “attracted to” are not the same thing, and people confuse them all the time. Lots of people think that because someone sleeps with them, that a relationship will ensue. Not always the case.
I have so much respect for Andrew Huberman. I love how he stays in his square and is so solid on his point. I hope my future husband is similar to him & not those goofy balls.
Well, something is definitely broken, because I’ve been always kind to my men, and they always dump me for the next best thing… and then come back months or years later, yet my friend is super mean to them and they are crazy about her… so I guess it’s a matter of mental health too, it’s only healthy people that are attracted to kindness, and the majority from what I’ve experienced is attracted to toxicity and dysfunction…
I agree. You're also attracted to what's familiar, to a certain extent. For people who grew up in an abusive environement, their propensity to be attracted to abusive people is higher. They don't know any better until they work on themselves and reparameter themselves on what healthy relationships are.
What we become familiar with in childhood is often what we seek out as an adult. If self defeating and dysfunctional stuff is what we became familiar with as a child then despite knowing that , that isn't good for us, we can't help but engage with the familiarity and what it brings along. IMHO. All the best NS
You may not want to hear that you might be shooting too high and your partners leave because you're disposable. Maybe shoot lower and find someone who is grateful for you
I’m so glad this was said. Especially as you get older, you do go for people who are kind. I find myself saying this often. Looks of course matter to an extent but it doesn’t hold top place like it did when we were teens & 20s. I think where I was also in an abusive relationship, the thought of being with someone kind is also Alien but should be the norm. Hope everyone (if they want) finds someone kind ✨🙏🏽
the waiter one is a big one (or any person in the service industry). I cringe at dudes who are POS with waiters... I pity them when they ask for a plate to be returned to the kitchen 😉🤣
but psycho and sociopaths are not kind, dont treat anyone with respect and are super successful. More - the more they destroy humanity , the more humanity kneels and begs for more! Huberman - explain this
@@Originalchili at the end of the day, it's not. I went to Europe and you did not have to tip (unless you wanted to), because staff earned a decent wage; and most places were packed, so people didn't care about the prices on the menu. Do I tip in the US and countries who have this tip structure? Yes.... but it's completely archaic and is open to abuse from employers either in the distribution or paying tax for these tips
@@davidjones8043 that statement is kind of contrary to the overall Marxist agenda rather than related to it. A classical Marxist would be likely to say there's no such thing as female nature and it's all conditioned by society/environment/upbringing etc
Obviously, not a thing can be applied to a whole group of people no matter who those people are, but it is also true that similer patterns of behavior exist that can be used to talk about them.
Wow. Huberman is galaxies apart from this bunch. Omg. What ridiculous things they bring up in the conversation 🤔 I love Huberman already but he definitely went up a whole new level of how he handled this. What an exceptional human. What is an enlightening, respectful level of discussion is brought down by these three. Women do want kindness, and that starts with the way you speak about the world too💯🙌✨️
This was the collab we didn’t know we already knew we didn’t need. Lol loved it regardless ❤ Irrigardless? Regardlessly? Oh, whatever. You know what I mean. 😂
I am a kind man. I have been so with all the women in my life. What women want beyond kindness is control and also have their demands met. The few women I have known who are the exception are happily living by themselves or in a fullfilling relationship. Watching this I noticed that Huberman was being kind and also turning into a pretzel with the discomfort of having to deal with a bunch of unkind asswipes. Compassion is getting rarer the more everyone escapes this cruel and unkind existence. For kindness to triumph maybe we simply need to lisyten better and give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they will be kind in kind.
And safety. He emphasized safety too. Safety means a man can keep the woman safe, meaning he has resources and can meet her demands (meeting her demands makes her feel safe). There are many dimensions of safety.
@@BeingIntegrated I know but that after covid seems to be an obsolete apendage to the human condition. Women by and large kept us safe this time around with their nursing and serving all of us in service industries. Every vaccination I got was administered by a woman and men if anything have made the world unsafe as never before. One threatening to nuke his way out of humiliting defeat and evil stupidodity and others fighting tooth and nail for their freedom. This male female divide and all the qualities that entails are now up for grabs. I have been a lucky man to have done all of it. From a provider to a stay at home dad being a better mom and dad than most of the men and women I have known in my 63 years. The only thing that makes sense to me is humanity and what the Buddhist call Yabyum. Maybe then kindness will make all questions about safety as the stuff community will eventually take care of better than each of does on our own. Thijk about how men abuse women and how more women now are abusing men as never before. Maybe I am just overthinking everything because I find kindness in short supply in this very insane world we live in.
@@Originalchili The good doctor was trying to teach the dogs that watch the podcast the trick of how to be kind so they ca get laid. Incels 'you cuck' are deserving of kindness too even on a comedy roastfest.
It’s really very simple. Women want a badass (someone witty, charming, funny, has good fashion sense + good taste in material things, and is free/independent in his work & social life, is not trifled w/ or challenged physically too often by others), who’s attractive (their type physically & sexually), intelligent (academically accomplished + well-read/studied/cultured), can provide financial security (accomplished + competent in their field of work, good with money + wise w/ investments, has things of their own they’re willing to share w/ her *exclusively*), and is capable + competent when it comes to providing personal safety (whether it be defending her from physical and/or mental predators and/or manipulators trying to take advantage of her, the ability to defend their home, and the ability to defend their relationship from outside critics w/ relative ease, and of course the ability to protect & defend their family, relatives, closest friends, etc.) In short: Women want all of the things you already knew they wanted, but probably cannot provide all of, and it is extremely unlikely they will “settle” for anything less than these things. And, if she does “settle” on any of these things for you, there’s a 50%+ chance she’s either already cheating on you w/ someone who can & does provide her w/ those things, or might divorce you in order to upgrade into a relationship w/ someone who can. Most of us already know this, it’s just not likely that most of us are capable of providing all of these things. Which is depressing, sure, but we all need to toughen up and accept reality. Stop being bitter that this is the reality, y’all. Work on it…
Ah yes, another person telling men to just accept the bullshit. Nah what men should do is leave women alone, let them protect themselves. The police exist.
Okcupid did a study and found that the more attractive a guy was, the better personality rating they received from women that they talked to. Even though they all used the same scripts
I watch Dr. Huberman and Andrew Schulz separately and love both. These four guys made me laugh even harder in this video having the contrast of Dr. Huberman there. Haha, loved it!
Lmao what a dumb fuck. You can tell which dudes get no pussy and get ghosted, by them just putting women down at first chance lmfao Edit: lmao they all straight ignored it too. Delicious.
@@leaveitorsinkit242 it means basically this (from my experience with these types of dudes who say this shit and all their “hoes” are suspiciously make-believe): I get ghosted by hot women so they’re dumb airheads. But basically he’s saying, these hot women don’t think he’s the shit so they have options and they act aloof right in his face. Don’t be this guy.
That is why so many people fake it, they are too nice, they are too kind, super cute, kawaii. And it looses its meaning in relationship, we tend to feel "its good to be true" or when reality intrudes it will disappear.
Akash's question about the brain 'outpacing' evolution shows a fundamental misunderstanding of evolution. The adaptations to the current environment are a result of the brain evolving. Evolution didn't stop when we discovered fire or invented electricity. We evolve everyday, admittedly some less than others.
Consider this as a rant lol.. but there is no damn proof of evolution. People only observed "MICRO" evolution --- but has NEVER.. EVER.. RECORDED NOR OBSERVED "MACRO" evolution.. Meaning.. there is no FOSSIL FINDINGS of a T-REX ---- SUPPOSEDLY~~~ that have been dated back to 3,000,000 B.C --- that has EVOLVED into BIRDS found in our times today.. So put it simply, THERE ARE NO... fossils .. of T-REXs from 3,000,000 B.C and to another t-rex fossil dating to 2,999,999 B.C --- to another fossil of 2,999,998 B.C ---2,999,997 B.C --- 2,999,996 B.C --- AND ALL the REST IN BETWEEN to 2022 A.D. There has been NO consecutive fossil findings of this "EVOLUTION" This is what I mean by "MACRO" EVOLUTION.. "MICRO" EVOLUTION is this... Saying things like someone has found a FOSSIL from millions and millions of years ago --- SUPPOSEDLY~~~ and then finding another fossil to then say that there was an EVOLUTION. You know how CRAZY that sounds? That's like a big GIANT GUESS!! So you're telling me, that by looking at just TWO FOSSILS!!!!?? JUST 2 DAM FOSSILS!!!! that you're gonna make the BIG JUMP by saying that this BIRD was from a T-REX??? Or for those who like to argue just for the sake of arguing --- so what if they have found more than 2. Ill even give someone that maybe they have found a 100 fossils.. where are all the other MILLIONS of other fossils that directly tie to this evolutionary transformation from a T-REX to a BIRD ?? That is STATISTICALLY INSIGNIFICANT and cannot JUSTIFY the claim of said evolution. Its a NEGLIGIBLE amount. It's a POSSIBILITY, but from a DATA PERSPECTIVE it is HIGHLY NOT PROBABLE. PROBABILITY is realistic. PROBABILITY is REAL SCIENCE. Not basing it on theories or hypotheses that merely SOUND POSSIBLE. I mean WHERE are all the other fossils in between --- showing all the minute to minute evolutionary changes being made?!?! WHERE ARE ALL THE FOSSILS THAT DISPLAYS THESE SUBTLE CHANGES? THESE SUBTLE EVOLUTIONARY CHANGES? Man, you can convince anyone just by sounding smart lol.. It's so easy to convince people to believe a lie.. if this is possible, imagine some of the mainstream ideas.. is it true? conspiracy? lol Think people. Use critical thinking. Just because you read something doesn't mean your brain is thinking critically.
Did any of you actually WATCH this??????? Huberman had the floor for 90% of it. The lizard joke happened because they're COMEDIANS. They're also brash and loud. Okay that ALSO doesn't mean they aren't CAPABLE of kindness. They simply stand their ground very ardently, they wish to have the freedom to express themselves in a high-energy fashion. Huberman isn't chastising their style, though it's a little much for him. Neither should you. This is a huge problem. This is "unpopular" and has been for a while and that attitude needs to stop. Just because someone is loud doesn't make them evil or intolerant of everything. Hell, if anything I'd tend to be more distrustful of Huberman because plenty of data gets misreported. I'm 34, couldn't make it happen til I was 29. Had to cave and get a smartphone to get on the apps. My body count is now around 30. I've seen some shit. And so many women lie about this, so many of them can't even make up their minds because the internet has made EVERYTHING accessible so they want EVERYTHING. Remember the lyric of the Tom Petty song American Girl? "couldn't help thinking that there was a little more to life somewhere else" that was in the 80s! Kindness is earned. Dating has become incredibly hostile because now everyone knows everything. BUT biologically men WILL try to have multiple mates. One man 10 women 10 babies in 9 months. One woman 10 men one baby in 9 months. DEAL WITH IT. This pisses women off a lot. No it is not necessary. But it's not malevolent, it's not necessarily "selfish". It's just a survival tactic hardwired that messes with our heads. Women on the other hand *think* they're acting hypergamously when they filter for one or two traits instead of finding a balanced man but they're literally picking the one most likely to have no control over HIS impulses. Tolerance goes a long way. My first girlfriend wouldn't fight for me at all as I tried to get used to giving someone who I was not even living with physically, daily attention. And it's been pretty much the same in every case. Something wasn't "enough" for them. Well, good. You can do without my resourcefulness and thoughtfulness. I'd rather be alone and unhappy than feel like a slave and unhappy.
This dude’s definitely right in general but it seems kind of unfair to snipe certain statistics to try and handwave a lot of people’s (mostly men’s) gripes with dating. Sure, men can also be gold diggers but income is the main point women look for when dating, unlike men. Another instance is with women earning more money they still have the mindset of wanting to “date up” so a lot of women are choosing to stay single or not date a man that makes less money than them. Also, he might be right about the "being kind” thing but most people nowadays are dating online, through dating apps. Being “kind” to a potential partner is important and necessary but dating apps are pretty superficial and you’re not getting your foot in the door by just being kind.
I feel like Huberman should note that there are limits to self reported data. Like just because someone says something is important to them does not necessarily mean that thing is actually a priority
So kindness is what women self-report that they want, which is a ridiculous methodology. What women want most of all is a man of greater status, and their first cue to that is how the man treats them.
A nice guy is being nice out of necessity (as a strategy to get P from a woman), and nice due to societal standards mostly. A guy who can be kind to a woman (usually) doesn't have that problem, is kind because he wants to be, nice because he wants to be, but not out of necessity. A stereotypical "nice guy" can be kind, but that doesn't necessarily make his chances better for dating.
Kindness=ability to hurt and dominate, but choosing to be gentle and meek Nice= being gentle and meek because you have no other choice; a bunny 🐰 (can’t hurt anyone)
Andrew is clearly disgusted by what they find funny. And it is disgusting. Why would anyone ever do that to an animal!? So sick. He knows. I don't know what is wrong with the others. Then I only came here for him. You learn so much every single minute listening to him. True character shown here watching his reaction and theirs. This is what woman really want: INTELLIGENCE: Intellectual, emotional and some maybe financial. The rest will come with it (Like outer appearance & health as this vid clearly shows).
Kind to them is a bit vague. But without over thinking it - genuine uniquely personal compliments (for instance) vs generalized niceties based on neediness and lust. And actually being curious about her
You can really tell the huge difference in HQ in that Room, at some point it could have been a difference of up to 60 points... between these guys..., It must yad been very exhausting Mr. Huberman.
Great points. But you also hear how allot of women don’t want the nice guy. Built into their biology, they are not physically attracted to the nice guy.
It is impossible to generalize what all women want from a man as every individual has their own unique preferences and desires. However, some common traits that are often appreciated by women include: Honesty and trustworthiness Respect and consideration Kindness and empathy Sense of humor Ambition and drive Emotional intelligence and understanding Good communication skills Support and encouragement Shared values and interests. It's important to note that individual needs and wants can vary greatly, and it's best to communicate and understand what each partner desires in a relationship.
Just because a woman doesn’t want to date you doesn’t mean you’re “friendzoned”, the term “friendzone” is basically men being delusional, she’s simply not interested in you lol.
@@SmoltingWassie nice guys aren’t in the “friendzone”, anyone who says “oh I’m such a nice guy women don’t like me” is not actually a nice guy, just faking it to get what they want, mention one good healthy relationship where the man is not kind to his woman. Anyone who thinks that women don’t like kind men are probably the “fake nice” ones.
You know that's a kind thing to say but he should be the first to tell you that a survey is not reliable science. So I'm sure if you asked a bunch of women why they pick their men of course they'll tell you it was because he was a nice guy, but the reality of it is if that nice guy wasn't providing then they'd be with a different nice guy who could. Get real, you need to be a viable mate meaning take care of yourself and you need to be able to provide. That's what most women need. Now they might want other stuff too but the core prerequisites are reproduction + survival. Being nice might get you a date but not necessarily a mate.
Never listen to what women say, look at what they do. They always say be kind, be nice, but who do they go to? There's a reason why 'nice guys finish last' is a universal statement and why women give men the worst dating advice. Men, don't fall for this nonsense. Women will always say crap that's opposite to what they're actually attracted to out of fear of being judged.
@@mle1872 I hear you. it's not like my standards are perfect. I'd probably say I want a cool woman if surveyed, but I can also acknowledge that attraction is the first we see so that's what the initial conversation will be based on. does that make me shallow? no, it just makes me human. another consideration is people are so diverse. there are so many different cultures, different types of women with a wide array of interests & values. there are millions of women who are not superficial and who don't want men who treat them like trash. some of the tone of what you're saying makes me imagine you dating in the US where our cultural values are a little bit twisted.
@@scoutwithoutclout I came from a Catholic background and nice guys are still widely ignored. A woman's wiring does not change because they're from a different culture. Also, the definition of nice guys and assholes are skewed here, which is why there's so much confusion. Here's the short definition. Nice guys: disingenuous liars who are nice simply to get laid. They took the advice of women and aren't getting any. Assholes: genuine about their thoughts and feelings, does not bend to a woman and has the proclivity to say no. That's how it is. No one's saying to treat a woman like crap, simply stay true to your thoughts and what you want to say. Sometimes that will mean being called an asshole. But from personal experience, 'asshole' is simply a playful, flirtatious term used by women but taken literally by the pathetic nice guy who wants to white knight in the false hopes that he'll rescue the woman and get laid.
He said kind, not nice, i think you are misunderstanding nice and kindness, when the intent of both are usually different, the same way those woman misunderstand a nice gesture to mean that the person is kind, which is why they end up with shitty guys in the first place. I think thats normal since we all learn to tell the difference with time and experience.
@@adlcnyc Either way it's insignificant. Women use these words all the time but these guys are EVERYWHERE and what happens to them? They aren't getting any. Not saying not to be kind, but never use it as a mating tactic. That makes you a disingenuous liar and women can tell. If you're going to be kind, be genuine about it. The truth remains, women will say be kind or nice, doesn't matter, these are not traits that attract them or get any dude laid. Ask the fishermen, not the fish.
Wow what groundbreaking information. Women" said" that they want a man who is kind to them. This guy should write a book on relationship and title it " The incel/ simp guide to a lifetime of manipulation and unhappiness".
Kindness is fundamental. Absolute. If you aren't fucked up, It will be the priority. I can confirm both cases personally: one was fucked up and the other worked out for me)))
I am so conflicted, because this goes beyond everything I have ever been told. I was always told, be aggressive, be rude, put them in their place, flex on them with accomplishments. I always grew up comparing my money and body to other dudes to make myself competitive. Dont know what to think now
@@jacobin2207 In general Whatre Russian men and women like? You should date a girl of ur culture bro, to keep ur culture alive. Or date a thicc latina haha
Here's the best advice you can get: Do not listen to what women say, look and observe what they do. The guy said this is what women say, that's already a huge red flag. Ever taken dating advice from women? Exactly. Be kind, be nice, and who do they go to? Lol.
I believe I can sum up this 10 minute video in a few words. When they are younger Women will use their luxe and beauty to sleep with the toxic rich guys. When they get older and wanna settle down, they go for the kind stable man.
@@razzdiamond6447 if you can do a better job you should’ve done that instead of wasting time critiquing mine. I’m sure people in the comments would’ve benefited much more from your better summary compared to the one person who agrees with you about how good mine isn’t
Kindness? Nah son I disagree. I've seen a ton of attractive women fall head over heels for jerks that treat them like crap. I've dated a ton of women who see kindness as supplication or unattractive. Maybe that's what women SAY they want, but in my experience that's not always been the case, and asking women what they want is probably subject their responses to bias of what they think are appropriate answers. I mean for example, if you wanted to catch fish you wouldn't ask the fish how to catch them, you'd ask a fisherman.
I agree that women are probably gonna state something different than what actually attracts them but I think he mentioned that these women were in a relationship so there has to be some truth to what they’re saying and he mentions that the “kind” rule is particularly affective when men are high status or looked up to by many peers which helps differentiate from the “nice guy” colloquially speaking that is usually awful with women.
“If you wanted to catch fish you wouldn’t ask the fish how to catch them, you’d ask a fisherman” - maybe the dumbest and least relevant analogy for finding a partner I’ve ever heard. It also massively exposes how little respect you have for women when you essentially refer to them as prey for men. Just a tad rapey too. Pmsl. Good luck to any woman you ever ‘catch’ buddy 🥲💀
@@Emma-fr4cy I knew this sort of response was coming, and you've kind of missed the point of what I was saying. It's an analogy to illustrate my point, not compare women to fish. How very assumptive of you of my views towards women from one random statement I made on an RU-vid video that you have honed in on and taken out of context 🙂 For instance if you wanted to increase sales of your company, would you survey your users, or ask a successful marketer what works and has made them ton of money. I said nothing about catching women, you've twisted my words here, but for the record the "women I have caught" say I'm attentive lover, patient, caring and appreciate that I actually listen to them, unlike most people who don't listen but merely wait for there turn to talk. But these are things that I've worked on, to make myself better for myself and for "any women I have caught", and first step is realising what someone tells you they want, male or female isn't necessarily what they respond to, do you have to intuitively learn what is best by observation, education and by seeking guidance from people more in the know than yourself.
Women want 4 things 1. A man with money 2. A man with looks 3. A man with personality (good or bad) 4. A man with a big p...is The more a man has of one or more of those things then the more she is willing to overlook a lack of others
Most people complaining about guys being guys having fun with each other in a respectful manner. Get a life people 😂, Dr. Huberman has a channel for serious discussions. This isn't it, just chill
I love and agree with almost everything Huberman says but I am really having a hard time believing this one. But maybe it’s cause of my personal experiences just like he says towards the end. Hopefully I can grow and get past it because I’m damn near Red Pill at this point and have been avoiding Women altogether
