@Brian Thomas I am very intrigued by your comment. You said you treated her badly. I’m curious of how and why you treated her badly? Is that why you all broke up? Did you break up with her or did she break up with you?
Hi @chbruiser, 23 years of marriage is really something. You mentioned that you are attached to "outcome". What are the things that you have done so far to manage that attachment? :-)
Thank you. It took so long, but I’m detached from outcome and have gained clarity. I will always love my ex, but I don’t need her. I’ve never felt more free than I have in the last few weeks. She’s not on my mind 24/7, and it feels great. I now feel I can move on from her, and before the thought of that hurt so much. I never thought I’d get to this point…but here I am.
I would love some insight on how in the heck to accomplish this detachment!! Its driving myself crazy. I can't imagine not wanting him or thinking about him...but uts been 10 long painful months now.
What’s weird is how when you naturally get there, you figure out that how your ex is being distant or difficult or all this weird shit…. You just find that you don’t want them anymore. Because someone else will want you.
Thank you so much for this video, Clay! I've always been a control freak and even though I've been working on it for years and had gotten way better (or so I thought) my sudden breakup 2 months ago knocked me right back into square one (or worse, lol). I've been struggling to detach even though I have every intention to. This video really helps me keep working on it and puts things into perspective. Thank you!
He breaks up with me every month or two and then when I don't text him back he gets upset. Then when he thinks he can't have me, he comes back. He's bipolar and not medicated and I assume his feelings run on his manic and depressive episodes. Ideally, no this isn't a cycle I want in my life but it still upsets me. Most recently he proposed to me and then broke it off and said the proposal was just a "romantic gesture". He broke up with me because he said we don't get enough time together and he thinks that I can do better. I'm too old for this game, but I still hate to dismissed...never feels good. I love your videos. Thank you Clay! I've been watching your videos for years!
@@robertgailey9910 yes, nothing is a guarantee in life and we all take chances every day. I think every opportunity is a learning experience. If we think of things they way, we're never wasting our time. Thank you for the comment. 😊
@@katiehaubrick4215 you are right on your own side of opinion. You don't really have to thank me, I saw your story and decide to give out mine own idea. I hope you stay safe, and take care.
@@robertgailey9910 I understand what you mean. I just try to reframe my mindset because it helps me stay more positive. It's something I've been working on. Have a great day! 😊
Where was this video when I needed it?? I definitely need it today. I didn't even realize I was attached to outcome. I work with my ex and I make mistakes so much, trying not to seem needy!! 😢❤
I was with my love 25 years, we have 2 kids. After the separation, I was very needy, and he was just angry losing his best years for me, such a fake in his eyes. Over 1 year of hoping, fighting, crying, i let go. I am tired. I still love him and really want to be with him, but i try to be me now. Now i am happy for him, even if he is happy without me. I am grateful for all good things in my life. Hope i do not fake myself saying that 😊
Made it two weeks into NC before she reached out. Had a 4 hour conversation, I showed a stronger better me...lots of emotions though. We're gently reentering texting regularly, totally riding the dragon. I'll continue to look to your videos for motivation on maintaining a good mindset and see where things go.
@Jakuboooooooooo first date night tonight, had a great time...we shall see what comes of it. Lots of growth for both of us. Happy to hear she is also seeing a counselor.
Married 22. Years Divorced because he wanted it Cannot stop longing for him Discovery of who I am not as a wife, friend , nurse, young mother is very painful It’s been so hard I am recreating the best version of me… maybe he will return Emotionally attached like nothing I’ve ever experienced But perhaps it’s one sided? I’m questioning everything He is very careful not to say anything.. except pleasantries and business matters Ugh
Clay, I had a coaching session with you the other day. I reached out to my ex and it went alright, she was open to talking to me and has been responding quite consistently, although she definitely sometimes seems distant. I've tried doing some of the things you told me, as well as just gauging her answers and keeping myself in a grounded place. However, when we had the "same team" conversation, she didn't seem sure about wanting to talk to me ("umm if you're ready I guess we can talk"). I told her it was okay to be confused and that I was too, and that we could figure out how to interact without making it uncomfortable. Does this seem hopeful to you? Thank you for your time.
Dear Clay. Thank you for this video. I've been watching your videos for a long time. My ex and I were together 1.5 yrs, he broke up with me 10 months ago, blocking me from all platforms except regular Facebook so he can view my profile. I do good but then something triggers my emotions and I'm a mess again. I will do anything for him to come back to me. I do NOT understand the" how to" to let go of the attachment to outcome!! I have watched numerous videos on letting go of the attachment to outcome various different people and I still don't understand how to do it please help
Love your videos clay, this girl hurt me really bad and I know she feels terrible about it. She would love bomb me then when I was interested she’d back way, I’m not sure why she does this but in your opinion what does it mean when they never watch your stories and unlike all your pictures since you’ve known them? Strange right?
@marqann I understand that it may not be easy to detach automatically from an ex especially if you both are working together. But accepting the current status and healing may eventually help you work on detaching yourself on the outcome. Sending more positive energies on your end.
I hate these type shows but clay has me not throwing shit at my TV. He is a normal in a abnormal world it's easy to spot the real from unreal he does not play the sides he just straight up the center
