hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
I really hate it when people say everyone feels lonely now and then. What is being described here is completely different. I'm 43 with no family and no friends and haven't had any in 20+ years. I couldn't pick up a phone and call someone even if I wanted to. I am alone.
@@AkwaIbomDoll When? In the next life, probably. Dont say "you'll", please, we already know that it cant happen. Expecially after a certain amount of years, (35-40)
You’re right. This isn’t just ‘feeling lonely’, it’s being alone, isolated. It’s real. I hate it too when people just don’t get that - especially when they say ‘you need to get out there and meet people’. Honestly, if it was that easy, then people wouldn’t be going through this. Loneliness saps the life and motivation out of you, it takes away your confidence and your self-esteem, so it almost feels like you’re in a spiral. There needs to be much more work done to provide better support to people in these situations, and properly understand what they’re going through. Best wishes to you, hope you’re doing ok.
@@psx2514 No, not at all. When I was in my 20s I was a single parent to my brother after the death of my mother. My mother was an extremely manipulative and coercive controlling sociopath who sabotaged friendships, had me fired from jobs etc. so I wouldn't have any demands on my time and could be her personal servant... cook my food, clean my house, run my errands, babysit my kid for free, then at the end of the day get out of my house 'you don't want to be a part of this family remember'. I have struggled with coercive control and abusive people who treated me like their servant and demanded I put my life on hold to take care of their obligations. Not everyone choses a life of isolation, it can be the legacy of a lifetime of severe abuse.
Kelly, you're 100% correct!! The profoundly isolating experience of having no friends and no family isn't the same ass what average ppl experience. I feel for your!! I got no answers or even suggestions at this time. I can, however, hear you, hold space for you and maybe you could do the same for me. 😶
I see it as the world is run by the devil in secret. "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people he didn't exist" -the usual suspects It's not that "God is dead". It's that man is distracted by things to see the world clearly and identify the problem to do anything about it.
@@UToobUsername01 Indeed... the ancient Gnostics even stated that the main ruler of this dimension, the physical is evil or at least imperfect and demented... the real true creator is of a completely different dimensional plain where we all must ascend to... at this point it seems rather obvious or at least likely my friend... if only people understood objective morality and hermetic laws of correspondence, things would be better... God bless you and remember you matter in this existence... all of you do!
I used to have loads of "friends" when i had money and when the money dried up.......off they went and what a shower of users they were and looking back i bloody hate myself for being such an utter utter MUG.
@@georgefindlay1982 taken me some years to realise this too as when I was successful for years had too many people to keep in contact with, never had the time, when the crap and years of tragic issues hit the fan, not one person has been a rock, except my parents which sadly do not have either now, yr comment is spot on.
so relatable ur not alone i felt like this many times and I do have kids and partner and can still feel this way social media make me feel worse too I deactivate my account especially fb its all so fake
@@bornwithoutconsentobviously Its not about "today", or "yesterday". Lockdown is finished, and we're the same person even "tomorrow". Weekends are the two days where people like us feels more inappropriate.
He has such a calm voice. Sounds like that customer who would ask for directions, find what they need and go their own way, instead of starting crap in public.
Hi Saying how you feel and acknowledging it is a good step forward x One can get to a point with isolation that when we do get involved again it feels strange But we must keep on trying we will have set backs maybe more than moving forward but that's ok and we must hang on to those forward times and more will come believe me. Re social media and alike what we see isn't all sunshine and roses And we must not compare our own lives to it. I know it is hard at times But we must keep trying Have faith in yourself Have faith in others. Take care x
@@danspears9607 Wow! Bless you so much, Dan! Thanks for pointing it out and not being condescending about it. Seriously, I know these are just words. However, may many blessings come your way!
Yeah and its extremely common for males especially but can affect woman also but generally for different reasons and at different strokes. Btw in same boat as you, except probably poorer, lol
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
Hello, alot of people these days have no friends - you're not alone! I understand loneliness very well, but it you have a few hobbies it helps. Anyway, you seem lovely to me.
I would really love to know what happened to this man in the meantime. I hope he's ok. He's right about the effect of social media on your mental health and superficiality of people.
Me too! One of his videos was suggested to me though the last one was 3 months old. I really hope he is doing okay. But yeah his other video not about Lexapro he took 97% of his words out of my mouth. I hope he comes back
I totally understand you, and can relate to all you’ve said ... wish I could say something to help. You seem like a nice person ... you’re not the problem.
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
I suffer from the exact thing, finding people annoying, but at the same time lonely because you never feel like you fit in. Lack of motivation. short fuse on starting new things. Not wanting to leave home because of anxiety, but at the same time feeling trap and wishing to leave. All causing depression that continues to slowly get worse every year.
I don't know how the mysterious RU-vid algorithm put your videos in my feed, but I'm glad it did. You seem like a really good man -- lonely and hurting, of course, but also very thoughtful and sensitive. And I'm sorry that you've suffered so much recently. Your story and mine are very similar: single guys who have lived in different places and had unique experiences (that people at home often can't relate to). And as self-reflective, introverted types, we're prone to overthinking in ways that tend to do more harm than good. Like you, I've been involved in teaching English overseas, and my most recent TEFL job was abruptly cut short by the pandemic. And like you, I was forced to return home, even though I didn't have a job or other immediate plan for the future. Oh, and I'm about a decade older than you are. So please know that I have a sincere, empathetic connection with what you've expressed in your videos. And please know that your experiences really resonate with me. I have to say, though, you have a lot of strength and courage that I'm not sure you give yourself credit for. By sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly and profoundly, you really show genuine bravery and vulnerablility in trying to make a connection with others. Your authenticity shines through. You HAVE made a connection -- with me and probably with many others. COVID-19 has, as you indicate, probably done just as much damage (or more) to mental health than physical. And we're all trying to cope with a situation none of us could ever have imagined. And it hasn't been easy. The only thing I can say is that I hope you can start being a little more gentle with yourself -- to cut yourself some slack. I noticed (because I tend to have this problem too) you kind of fall into the trap of comparing your life to your where your peers are currently. I've done the same thing (although I used to do it a lot more ten years ago). It's a pretty self-destructive thing to do, because what you (and I) experience will never be the same as our friends who took a more 'conventional' path...and yet we still feel compelled to make comparisons. So maybe try to let that go a little. Their journey will always be different. For me at least, letting go of this grandiose idea of having a 'life purpose' helped immensely. Why do we torture ourselves unnecessarily by using this as some sort of metric for the success of our lives? Why do we psychologically punish ourselves for coming up short against some artificially constructed, self-imposed standard? (At least that's the view I have now.) My life isn't 'insufficient' simply because I haven't honed in on a well-defined life purpose. I think this idea is cleverly reflected in the movie "Soul" -- maybe life isn't so much about finding 'purpose' (especially when it involves some sort of social-status recognition that's ultimately meaningless) as much as being open to anything that 'sparks' our interest or enjoyment. Life is about living, not defining. It's supposed to be about being happy, regardless of how that happens. I can see you have a lot of passion and intellectual interest in learning/researching (about something new), and figuring out potential strategies for the best outcome. Plus -- and this is rare in your videos, but still -- you have the occasional chuckle or glimmer of (usually self-depricating) humor that betrays a kind, caring, appreciative soul -- traits that make a good friend. So I don't know how things are going for you these days (now that it's three months after you posted your video), but I hope things are looking up a bit. You're certainly the kind of guy I'd enjoy hanging out with and getting to know... over an occasional beer, even (though like you, not to get drunk ;-P ). I think you and I would get along very well and, maybe more importantly, relate to some of the same things and life experiences. I know many other commenters have reached out to you and offered to communicate in a more personal way. And if you haven't been somehow drawn to these offers of friendship, please know that I'm also an option. (IG: mslumike) You're a good man, and I'm already very grateful -- and a better person -- for knowing you. So, with complete sincerity as I say this, *thank you for being...you!* Through sharing these videos, you have already made the world a more connected, more empathetic, more compassionate place.
Thankyou so much i literally spent a good 16 mins scrolling through the comments on his videos to see if he made another channel or something and now i have the answer, also read your comment and it was so genuine and beautiful.
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
I feel you. Start looking for solutions and don't focus on the problem. Even having a little chat in the queue or at the grocery store, for example, is gonna make a difference.
To literally have no one and wake up on Christmas morning is fkin awful. It's hard everyday yet alone Christmas day. And to know the whole day is going to bring no human interaction is scary
Xmas is just societle programming. I try wake up everyday with that xmas or birthday feeling w/o the family or friends, you should try it, might ease the concentrated feeling of no family on that particular 25th Dec day. I mean why should it be restricted to just once a year.
Best book I've read on Introverts (because I am one) "Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World that can't stop talking" I took night classes in my local College to meet like minded people.
I just wanted to say your words resonated with me on so many levels.. I am 37 and I have been fortunate enough be with a lovely partner for many years, own my own house and work an okish job. But having all this doesnt necessarily make you a happy fufilled man. A lot of the time i feel secretly alone, i have no friends, come from a broken family and feel an empty shadow of my outgoing, confident earlier years former self. I'm mostly unimpressed by all the compliances that life has to offer nowadays. I wish i didnt feel this way. It makes me feel so gulty and like im a living parody of who i used to be. Like you say people come and go/move on in life. Nothing stays the same. Nothing lasts i suppose. Anyway I hope you eventually find some inner piece bro and are able to break through the barrier. Trust me you are not alone in the search. Take care
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
@@lemonchan2013 Hi there. I've only just seen your reply. Thank you for your suggestion. I think I will give what you suggested a try. I do get a lot of Joy from giving so it would make sense. Thanks again
I felt for the first time in my life that someone speaks the same language as me and understands the words coming out of my mouth just as I understood yours.
I understand this. I can't even provide references for an apartment application. I don't drink, so I could never bond with people I worked with who went out for happy hour. Being socially shy is the worst feeling in the world. It's often misconstrued as being stuck up, or stand-offish. You may not have people immediately in your circle, but you are NOT alone. There are others, like me who are feeling the same way. I too, get along with the people at work, but it just feels one-sided. I made a pledge to reach out to and say hello and have a kind word, but it's never reciprocated. It's the worst feeling in the world.
agreed, lots of people in society rather talk on social media like this for example, rather than chat to people in general. It is almost impossible to even have a chat with someone in a shop these days other than Could I have a bag? Shop assistants don't want to make conversaton, only talk to their own staff
Mate I can totally empathise, throughout my twenties I would socialise happily and easily, but due to severe mental health issues, most folk in my life have been pushed away, now in my thirties I live the exact opposite of my former life, day in, day out on the sofa, no motivation to even pick up a book, your not alone mate, stay strong .
Very brave video being so open about your feelings. Remember that people might appear happier than they are on social media, it’s a fickle society. I am sure one day you will find peace and your path in this world.
I had to laugh a little cause I totally can relate to the predicament. one one hand I am all alone yet would feel rather annoyed by people I meet in groups or any other settings. and I often find myself attracting "emotional leaches" or "energy vampires". we should open our own you tube group ;)
I’m in my late 40’s. I have maybe two real friends though we rarely communicate. I earn a six figure income but still live at home caring for a sickly parent. I have a tiny family, no siblings, and most of the people in my life are a lot older than me. I can’t seem to make a good decision about being independent. When the few people in my life are gone I’ll have no one.
I see all your videos are from 3 months ago... I hope you are doing okay these days, and have found some happiness in your life. It can be so, incredibly hard, but I promise you there are people out there who would love to be your friend. It's hard to find like minded people, but when you do, it's so worth it. Hope you are still out there, and doing ok wherever you are.
I feel exactly the same and can get really on edge just being surrounded by the fakery of the world. I have 4 dogs and take them out 4.30am just to avoid everyone. I'm super pessimistic and people can find me really blunt so they judge so easily but I am in the starting process of getting tested for Autism. This might explain why I dispise people and react the way I do. Just know, there are thousands of us, who avoid people, but won't ever meet people like ourselves because of this and I hope one day we all manage to meet other people like us, who we can just sit there in silent misery and not be judged. Who can talk through all our thoughts of random things without being judged. I would love to meet someone like you! I hope you meet people like you and find answers in whatever you may need. A solitary life is a bittersweet life xxxxxx
Never apologise for being who you are. It takes alot to do what you did and so many people are in the same boat. Much respect to you friend and never change 👌
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
Very brave for speaking your truth.you are only 37. My best and only real friend is my wife.true friends are scarse. Get out of the city.modern life is toxic.you can be in a crowded room and be so lonley. God bless you Kevin
I feel for you man. I think you should consider getting yourself a pet dog. They are loyal, funny and energetic which tends to rub off onto the owners and are a great way to get you out of the house into the fresh air. Its also a good way to include yourself into the local community with other dog walkers where a simple hallow turns into a conversation about your dogs and over time your speaking about all sorts of things. Depression is a vicious circle which is hard to get out of I no I've been there myself but small steps lead to bigger. Your stronger than you think it takes guts to make a video about your feelings and let the world see a lot of people couldn't do that, you have my respect.
Thank you so much for uploading your videos. I cried while I was watching them because I feel the same way. I'm 35, and my life has been difficult.. since I was born. I don't know you in person and you don't know me, but I care about you. I see you have a poem of Mitsuo on the wall. That's a good poem! I just wanted to say hi.. from Tokyo :)
Hi, yukahighbridge, What kind of troubles did you have in life? I was born in Russian Federation. I completed higher education and could not find decent job. I lived in poverty until 40 year old. That was crazy. I always was thinking about Japan as prosperous trouble free country.
@Apocalyptic Workshop Thank you for your reply and no worries! Also, thank you for sharing your honest thoughts on RU-vid. I hope you've been doing well these days, and I'll patiently wait for your new videos :)
If there are so many of us out here that are longing for good friends and have the same struggles … why don’t we all connect and change?! It would be a start.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am a huge introvert and I don't have many friends either, I tend to stick to myself and I find online is where I connect the most but in person, I get more nervous, and then the energy of huge crowds just drains me. Yes, you're right we all need someone to connect with. Oh, wow you're from England, I so want one day to visit there. Yes, social media is so toxic, I tend to stay off of it, I only share pics of my cat and move on. But thanks for sharing your story, I send you hugs!
It´s scary how we notice more and more people like this. I feel everything you said, very similar position. And its true that we get used to the loneliness, but its sad sometimes because you cant really express yourself and takes things of your chest. ITs good you made this video, we can all listen. Thank you.
Thanks for making this video and for expressing vulnerability, you may feel lonely but you are not alone, many people feel this way. You are a sweet and intelligent person. Keep posting x
Hey brother, you not alone, I have no friends either too. I am 43 and I feel sometimes be alone can focus on important things in your life. You can try to have friends but the relationship is yourself. Self care is most healthy selfishness thing to do. Keep strong bro 💪 🙏
Iv just randomly come across your video I think you should go easy on yourself Iv just been listening to you and I really think your outlook on your situation and putting this video out there is commendable. I’m sure you will make friends if you stop judging what people will think of you seriously if you have confidence in yourself no one will look at what car you drive or all that materialistic stuff. At the end of the day people just want a nice chat and we have all been in that situation sometimes saying something daft and then thinking did I really say that but laugh it off try again and most importantly Love yourself and be the average person you are and feel comfortable with it and you will attract positive people. I hope none of what I said offends.
You're not alone. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about loneliness. For me, when I'm in a positive place mentally, the feeling of being alone w/o friends is not as burdensome. Paradoxically, when I'm feeling depressed & filled w anxiety about the everyday pressures of life, family, health problems, etc, I want less to be around others. So, I think the central dynamic for me is self-love. From there, all the other stuff seems less important in the moment. It seems from past experiences, people gravitate towards others who have no other agenda than to love & be loved - as cliched as that sounds
I commented on your other video so I'm not going rattle on here , brother I know your feeling how your feeling but your what is classed as a true genuine guy that has true feelings , cares for others , and a great friend.
I related to you so much. I work graveyard shifts alone, the last time I hung out with anyone was about 2 years ago and the last time I even used my voice was several months ago (besides talking to myself). I'm in so much debt from hospital bills etc I cannot get ahead in any aspect, if anything I'm going backwards and I don't see a way out beyond the one way we're always told not to. I have zero family, zero friends, I try to talk and people ignore me, I work to pay bills and have zero money left afterwards, and I'm about to be living in my car. I see no way out and likely won't be here this time next year
I truly hope that this man managed to stop comparing himself to what society says he should be living like although i have to admit that i also have very alike issues that stem mostly from chronic health problems. I would love to see an up to date post with some positive outcome though i have found in the past that there have been many people that post this sort of thing and are never heard from again so i can only hope that this young man did find his way out of such a dark and lonely place. I know only to well just how it feels to be cast aside and once any loving family we are lucky enough to have had are gone and your children show no love towards us it is not a good place to end up but i have seen it with so many older folks who are just left to rot away and that is exactly where i have been at for far to long now.
Greetings and thank you for being so honest. To get a friend you have to be a friend so don't give up just move over the border to Scotland. We're friendlier up here! Covid has certainly made things hard, sorry!
@Sarah Hodgins No, we invented Television. It's tough to imagine life without your favourite TV shows. ... Dolly the sheep. When creating a list of some of Scotland's greatest innovations, a sheep may seem like a strange choice. Telephone. ... Penicillin. ... MRI Scanner. ... Refrigerator. ... Toaster. ... Daily Disposable Contact Lens. ... ATM. ... Colour Photograph. ...AND Robert Burns so we can't be half bad!
I'm 29 and can related to everything you're saying man, even the tone of voice we speak in is the same. It's a lonely road and I sadly have nothing useful I can contribute, as I truly feel the pain you're in and know that all advice given is always easier said than done. Wish you all the best, it's not easy to rinse and repeat day after day, hoping somehow there is something that changes for you brother. Much love from Aus ❤️
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
Cannot say for you but I have a lot to contribute to society but Narcs, sociopaths, phsychopaths and egocentric individuals run the society.Especially the Shopkeeper mentality people.
I understand this completely 😢 thx u for sharing it feels i'm not the only one.. if u found just one person who understands u.. then u already found treasure in this world..
Just scrolling RU-vid feck me I stumbled on you I'm living this now resonates so much... I'm so happy though that your in a better place surrounded with people who make you smile and your found your someone to share your life with happy days for you. BTW just watched bobs birthday at the cove top vlog brilliant x
Its sad that ppl feel like this..i hope u find what ur looking for, u seem like a good guy, calm and intelligent. Ur voice is quite soothing...asmr voice..👌👌
Hi. Thank you so much for making this video. You gave an insight as to what some people deal with. Please know that you are not alone. You are a lovely person. I don’t know you well, but I would love to be your friend
Hope you are doing well! You havent posted in a while but telling by the comments - we are all here for you and each other. Its not only you!!!! Society is quite cruel and doesnt help people who see the world from an introspective lens
I'm the same age as you mate and in a similar situation. Except I have hobbies and go out. The issue is not that we can't make friends, but that we're smart and aware enough to see through people's manipulations, selfishness, and the natural need for them to want to use people for their own benefit. Not to say that everyone's like this. But the reality is, there are more bad people in the world than good. Now you could say to just avoid the bad people and focus on the good. But the time it takes to meet and get to know people long enough in order to figure out whether they're good or bad takes its toll on you. And you quickly lose the patience for it the older you get. Especially if you've had a bad streak. Beyond your parents, friendships and relationships are conditional. Because we understand that, we have a hard time trusting people and making an effort. So we prefer to be alone.
Hi! I just seen your videos and I feel very unsettled that you are going through such a bad period. I have to say, many people might relate with the situations, but it is always a solution for everything. Look how many people are watching your video! You might try to talk with some of them. You need to find the strength to go out of this situation! I really hope you will reach people and see that they are so many types of people! Take care!
You're motivated enough to make these videos, so keep doing it. Look at how many subscribers you've got from 3 videos. I've met a fair share of materialistic people in my life to know that you'll have to look beyond social media to know who they really are, and the way I see it, we're all smart enough to be hardwired to constantly want things we don't have, just like how you wanted somebody to talk to from time to time, and now you have it. Just read through these comments.
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
Keep doing your videos so many can relate. Doing videos take time and effort. It takes courage to share your feelings with the world. I will keep listening to your videos. I feel less alone already.
I totally understand you I feel the same being alone all the time having no one social media does make you feel worse but a lot of the stuff you see on social media is exaggerated. Yes we do all need someone to care and look out for us thank you for sharing your honestly and if it makes you feel better there are lots of people like you and me . I see some of your comments people saying go to the pub nooo don’t do that sitting in a pub getting drunk I would rather sit at home with a cup of tea and yes your so right people are all about what you have got and what you drive I have nothing materialistic so another reason no one wants to know me take care you seem a sensible strong person not a drinker or into drugs .
Just came across your channel. I guess the RU-vid algorithm knows my mind state right now. Life is hard, and I've been in a long toxic marriage where I never felt so lonely in my entire life, and that was being with someone ! I can tell you that living alone feeling lack of love, is way way better than being in a loveless toxic marriage. Way better. And due to my marriage I lost all my old friends too. I can count my true friends with one finger these days. Years ago I was always out and about having a good time every damn night. Anyway, more videos please. We all want to see more from you. Maybe you can make your YT channel your new purpose in life and help others in the same boat. Hell, plenty of scope for human contact via that if you set up a Facebook group and start chats. I'd join it 100% even though I hate FB. By the way, Social Media is 99.9% fake so forget that right away and stop letting it affect you. Once again - MORE VIDEOS PLEASE. If only to let us know you're OK. Thanks man.
I don't have friends to call either. I sometimes feel sad about it. But I'm not giving up on myself, I believe I will still live a happy life even if I won't have any friends.
I am in my twenties and I resonate with this a lot. I have no friends and the people in my surroundings and my classmates, I do not find any thing in common between us and I find them annoying. It's a mystery how people find like minded people .
57 here in the US , I know exactly the shadow loneliness cast, even the friends I had 20 years ago are gone, I have travelled in country and lost touch with almost. I have one good friend I've known 40 years but lives a few hours away , his wife just passed away and he is in his seventies and stays optimistic. But we are honest with each other, hardly anything lasts, he is fortunate to have a great wife so many decades.
There are so many people on youtube - many shallow and unpleasant and still some who are real and likeable. I am not drawn to many people, but I feel that you are a real and likeable person and you are coming across as genuine. I just came across you video today and looked on your channel to see what other videos you had put out and I see just three - hope you are keeping well now - I will watch your other video - having had encounters with the mental health "services" myself in the past and have experience of them - maybe they help some people - but I found many concerning issues with them - and I hope you are managing ok now and if not - maybe you'd put out an update video? Wishing you all the best.
Same here. I can empathise because if i did not live with family I would be the same. My family is all I have in life. I hope he finds Jesus. Jesus is the friend of all lonely people. He will love you when no one else will.
I know exactly how you feel. You are not alone in feeling this way. Just wish there was a way to reach out and seek support. It's all very well for people to say get a pet or speak to someone, but it's not as easy as that. I have felt this way most of my life and there is no quick fix. We need support and guidance of how to change things but don't know where to go. I hope you are ok
I think the people around you don’t have the same values as you do. Everyone around you seems only interested in the here and now, but you are actually being Real with people and you value things that matter. That’s a very noble thing and nothing to be ashamed of
Im a little older but relate to you 100 percent. I have a job but i struggle weekly to even show up. Its strictly for food and utilities, in 20 years only 1 person has been in my house, my car broke down last month and i walked home 6 miles because i had no one to call, ZERO 😢, my famoly is all dead now and like you i used to be very social and outgoing but i cant even explain how or why it changed, i dont even care about fonding a lover anymore i just want a friend JUST 1, or a roomate just to kbow there was another heartbeat in my house, god is this all my future holds? Ots sad and scary, WHO WILL BURY ME??????😢
you posted this 3 years ago now, and im in this exact spot, same with your other videos. it hurts, and i hope youve found yourself something better than what you were going thru.
Thank you so much. At least you value the connection and you are in a great place to be very discerning about which type of friends you will accept. Work on yourself now and get the best shape mentally and physically so you would be ready
You sound very insightful and intelligent--I would be your friend. No one in my area share my particular interests either or lifestyle. Everyone I've known or seen are doing the fast paced, grind, and party lifestyle. I'm veryyy slow paced even when I eat or walk and can't keep up with others. Idk if it's my mental illnesses or personality or both. I feel the same way you do though. Sometimes I feel that others are annoying or quite mean or they find me too intense and/or harsh so they drop me quite fast. For those who stick around, they usually last 2 years and then leave or feel the need to comment unwantedly on how I am so I drop them instead. They try to change me to fit their needs and I stopped people pleasing once I left high school and my abusive relationship and decided to never go back to that mentality. I suggest getting into mbti and enneagram. You'll find people like you. Besides my mental problems, I always thought that it was just me and I'm the only one who goes through this and feel a certain way about life and people but then I found out I was an INFJ after studying mbti and taking it more seriously than back in college and high school (like I knew I was one back then but didn't care but then my interest in mbti came in like 2019 and I've been studying it ever since). Meeting other INFJs online and hearing their experiences or watching videos made me feel less alone and it helped me recognize toxic patterns I was in. It was so refreshing after so many years of feeling misunderstood to be around people who got me! Also with enneagram, I was able to identify where certain needs and motivations came from and that I was being an unhealthy 2. These two things help me want to become a better version of myself and made me feel at least a little bit less lonely. Yes, I still get lonely from time to time because I wished that I had irl friends to talk with and hang out with but at least I feel seen and understood for the first time in my life. And THAT'S a huge step forward for me in the right direction
Hey man, just saw your video and i can relate. I like and dont like to cocoon in my house. Some days its good some days its not. I relate to your lack of motivation to do all the stuff others do and being anoyed with people. Hope life is treating you well. Greets from the Netherlands.
Having no friends is a superpower. Don't be depressed. Don't focus on things that you can't change even if they are there(your past, no friends, etc). Instead focus on millions other things that you can change.(learn a new skill, meet new people , try new things, etc.)
Hey buddy, I am "living" through something similar, with social anxiety and anhedonia. I think those of us who are well-traveled might be disillusioned with how the West works and operates. I've found I don't have social anxiety when I'm in Asia, especially because you're not judged by the same standards as the suffocating West (although I'm not originally from the West). Being an expat, working in a new country (not just traveling) opens up a lot of possibilities. Also, as you know, expats tend to be cooler and genuinely interesting to be friends with than the average bloke at the pub. Dating is a lot better, too, with more opportunities to run into new people. You don't have to be reminded of all the people who have moved on in your town, either. I met this guy called Brett Dev in Chiangmai, Thailand, and felt very similar vibes from you for some reason, like an alternate version of you. I Wanted to share cause I've found new perspectives always help with getting out of a rut: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-zygJ8WPmBhM.html
I've travelled the world ..looking for something ..don't know what but I guess it was peace of mind .Still not there at 57 hrs old..I do regular meditation and have a loving wife but never had any ambition , never wanted a career, a big house, children ..just wanted to get away from it all ,all the expectation , bullshit and superficiality . I have virtually no friends really and have suffered with depression,anxiety and became an alcoholic which nearly killed me . I also get really irritated by people ..maybe I'm jealous that they seem happy with mundane jobs, boring chit chat and 2 weeks in the sun each year. There must be more to life than that or am I just unlucky (that I haven't found any purpose in life ) Nowadays it's just existing really , worrying about the future and desperately hoping I'll find meaning before the curtains come down to make it all worthwhile .
Iam 24 and i have 0 friends for 9 years. Its so hard to live, to wake up every morning and force myself to go at least to my part time job or just live. Ive done some therapy and medication but at the end its on you if you have will to deal with it or not. Some people have the will, some not. I just dont know how long i can hold in this situation till my totally life burnout.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s and I also struggled with social anxiety but I always had a few good friends. Problem seems to be as we get older we lose touch with friends, people move away, have kids etc so it’s hard to keep in touch with everyone. Also the internet has made it worse because instead of focusing on people you know in person most of us have hundreds or more people on social media. When I was younger I’d say the average person had maybe 5-50 friends, depending on how popular you were but it was manageable to talk to a few people. Having contact with a 100+ people takes so much more time and effort and I notice our real friends can get lost in the mix! I don’t think we will ever go back to the way things were before internet so we have to adapt to different ways to socialize. The easiest way to find friends is join groups with common interests. I talk to people online that share my hobbies and I’ve met a lot of nice people in art and guitar groups. If you struggle with social anxiety remember that no one is perfect and it’s ok that we are not perfect. A huge part of my anxiety was always feeling like I had to be perfect but once I let that shit go my life has improved a lot. Also practice what you will say in social situations. Even sometimes before I text or make a phone call I will practice what I want to say, if you are going out in public think of a few ways to greet people and a few interesting topics you can discuss, most people are into art, music, sports etc and it’s a good way to feel more prepared and less anxious. If you are polite and treat people with respect anyone that is a worth while friend will appreciate you. No one is going to vibe with and get along with everyone. Having one good quality friend is much better than 100 fake friends. I wish you all the best and remember we are not alone, in these current times many people struggle with anxiety but we can find ways to manage it and live a better quality life.
You are not alone feeling like this. I've noticed that just about everyone I know finds love, gets married etc - and they boast about it on Facebook. But it never happens to me. Been single for years and years. No hope in ever finding "the one", so given up entirely on it. Being single means you got nobody spending your money and nagging you! Here's what I find really works: socialise with people on the autism spectrum cos they're very easy to talk to and reliable. Their conversations *don't* revolve around the usual boring stuff that non-autism people talk about - you know the stuff most people go on about: getting drunk last night, their work life, sport, their dogs, celebrities, reality TV and all that rubbish that's incredibly boring to hear about! Like you, I spend days alone, low mood and anxiety. But making friends with people on the autism spectrum has worked wonders. They don't get drunk, always turn up on time, they don't judge me and we can talk about interesting things in depth and go out places. I'm _not_ saying you're on the spectrum, but see if you can find local autism groups in your area (maybe volunteer once a week?) and at least give it a try; even if you only make one new friend, it's better than zero friends. Good luck. 👍 Btw, before I finish this comment... low vitamin D causes depression. Worth talking a vitamin D supplement with your breakfast everyday between October and May. No need to take them in the summer if you go out in the sun (without getting sunburnt!). They're so cheap to buy and it's safe (take the recommended dose on the label).
I am just like you brother. I can go without speaking to people around me for weeks and I live in a very big city. This however has never bothered me, I am anti social and I've accepted this. Find a hobby and focus on it, that's about it.
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!
exactly, your words are so true and spot on regards like minded people, substance and stupid social media and I cant stand all the materialism in the world at times. Besides when counsellor type people advise people who are down etc to go to clubs, churches, fetes etc.. what with? everything costs money and when you are sad or troubled and talking big troubles in many cases/awful situations its too overwhelming to even want to be around some people who have no idea and no concept or to want to get asked questions..thanks for posting, how are you doing now as note this was a year ago?
@Apocalyptic Workshop Insights your words are so true and have touched many people, I never thought I would be in this situation, but indeed soul crushing when you find out years on what a lot of people are like. I would not have been able to make a video like this nor many others.
