NO ONE talks about what happens AFTER childbirth (my postpartum story) | Glowing Up Ep 21 

hi guys just wanted to add on/clarify a couple things which might be useful: 1. a few people who commented on experiencing a painful poop baby too said they started to drink prune juice close to your due date so you don’t have to deal with constipation after giving birth. thought i'd leave it here for future mums! also, to clarify: i know i said laxatives, but what i took was actually stool softener (so my poop baby was very much solid lol) 2. someone mentioned that i didn’t talk about post-partum hairloss. the truth is i actually mentioned it during the filming but i edited out eventually, and on hindsight i think it was because i still haven’t fully overcome that yet - my baby hairs are still growing out awkwardly, and so it i think thats why i didn’t feel comfortable leaving it in. i can see my fringe reaching ‘back to normal’ length already and i think i’ll feel like myself again (hair-wise haha) by the start of next year! 3. also, someone asked what immunity supplements i take: it’s just vitamin C, and of no particular brand - i just get the cheapest option on the shelf at pharmacies when i happen to pass by them. i’ve switched between about 3 different brands now and they've worked just fine. I'm slowly reducing the frequency of taking them over time too, as i get stronger. also, thank you again to everyone for sharing your stories, i'm so glad this video made you feel less alone. you guys have made me feel the same❤

Nobody talks about it because it was so bad and horrible , we just want to forget about it and pretend it never happened 😅

One feels betrayed when the reality of being a mum is so different from the projections that media and society haves. Postpartum depression is real and may not always go away with time. We can't romanticize motherhood just because it's natural. Nature is wonderful but can also be very cruel. This video is one more action that helps to keep it real. It's good if mums will share their real experiences so that everyone can gain perspective (btw my babies were born two decades ago, it wasn't easy, I can still relate to everything you're saying). I am a huge fan of you and wear the CEO of Cutting Fruit t-shirt to feel like a Boss Lady 😎 You're a great mum. Please make an Asian Mum t-shirt

Totally agreed. My POV, mom's sanity more important! Mother of 2 here. Been through the Post-partum blues when I had my no 1. Thankfully for the mommy friends that gave me lots of support and words of assurance. And most importantly are the support from my Mom and Husband when I'm going through masitis. They said this "its ok, just give formula. You shouldn't go through so much pain because the "public/general" people exclusively breastfeeding"

I’m eight weeks post-partum, and this video made me feel seen and heard. Pregnancy was hard, but the weeks that followed have been even more of a struggle, especially with a little human having complete reliance on you, so you have the pressure to keep it all together. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sure many other post-partum moms need this kind of encouragement.

4th trimester is really the hardest and husband’s & family support is really important…. I remember crying the moment I went back home as everything was so different… and (almost)everything is on the mom…. Recovering,breastfeeding, the “Mum instinct” when baby cry… every mummy out there is really amazing ❤

thank you for being so open and honest about your journey its not only helpful to the people going through the process but also for people preparing for family planning! it helps ease the anxiety that even though it will be hard, we will make it through to the other side!! wishing you and your family much love

Thanks for sharing Annette! Gave birth 3 months ago and there are tons of trauma I've yet to unpack and you've put these feelings into words so perfectly. Oftentimes I feel so alone esp since I don't know many mummy friends at 27 so I'm really grateful for internet sistas like you ❤❤❤

Thanks Annette for this video, it came at such an apt time for me as im currently in my confinement and also experienced post partum blues, physical pain from episiotomy and breastfeeding woes. Its really encouraging to hear from you and makes me feel less lonely even for a while and to remind myself that im not the only one experiencing this, and that this is completely normal. Also waiting it out is such a good advice. To all fellow mummies, Take heart that all of these are temporary and it will pass ❤

watching this after my baby just turned 1 brought back all the postpartum trauma. my healing was nooo joke - i couldn’t sit or stand for more than 5 mins without going painfully numb down there, pooping was torture, breastfeeding wasn’t working out for me, engorged af boobs. And while going through all this, there was the postpartum blues bc I felt so guilty for not spending enough time with my baby (but I had to heal physically). You’re right that no one talks about this and I really do appreciate your video. Glad that you’re doing better now.

Im currently 5 weeks pp and this video is so timely! Thank you for sharing your struggles - totally can relate and i think its harder when our babies have difficulties eating or sleeping well and the endless googling and worrying we have!! So important to get help and take a break to get our sanity back. Im so thankful im able to have help.

I just cried watching this bcos it reminded me of the darkest days of my life. I too suffered from excruciating tailbone pain right after birth and breastfeeding was so much tougher when sitting down is so painful. I felt like my body was so damaged after the pregnancy and birth (the stitches took a while to heal too, amongst many other issues) but thank God I have overcome all these problems after around a year. Just want to encourage all the moms out there who are facing similar struggles - all these shall pass. Your body will heal over time and you will regain your strength again. (I started doing Pilates to strengthen my core too!) Thank you Annette for sharing this hard truth that people don’t often talk about. You are amazing. Keep on blessing others through your work and sharing ❤

Yup, it’s so real ! Thanks for sharing all the behind the scenes woes.

Thank you Annette! I’m 2 weeks postpartum now and this is so relatable! ❤

This is very true. I considered myself as a very positive person who’s able to cheer my friends up. But during my forth trimester, i cried buckets over the very teeniest thing for no reason. Support is very important in this situation. Find all the help you can have to give yourself a break to care for yourself. Breastfeeding is not easy, whoever is willing to give it a try is brave enough. And yes, baby smile cures everything!! Pray for strength to all fighting moms!!

Hi Annette, thanks for this honest and relatable video. I’m a new mum myself and agree wholeheartedly with your sharing. I saw you at a Christmas event last year after your delivery and thought that you looked great :) Thought that you should know that! Found it amazing and inspirational that you were so active and outgoing during and after the pregnancy too and I didn’t know that you faced these struggles. Hope more new mums out there will feel better with such sharings and a supportive network 😊

Thank you for doing this video! 4th tri was indeed the darkest times for me too and nobody else will understand it except for fellow mothers. Gave up bfding after 2 weeks and I never once regretted the decision. A tip for the Dads: be supportive and be there to listen.

Your video made me cry. I could relate to everything you said, i was just thinking back every thing about my 4th trimester, it's so bad. You were so on point. I'm really grateful we managed to press on, tide through. Every mummy is just so brave, really. ♥️

Thank you for keeping it real & publishing such an honest sharing, Annette. Not enough people talk about the difficult parts of what’s meant to be a “good” thing. It’s deeply appreciated ❤

SO INSPIRED ANNETTE! LOVE THIS! ❤️

This was so candid & real! Thanks for sharing, as a guy, I probably will not be able to understand the struggles, but it was nice to hear this perspective & experience. Really makes me think & appreciate what my mum went through in the past :-)

Thank you for sharing this and letting more ppl know and have a picture of it. I personally really hate how other influencers mummies who only shows the rainbow and butterflies of postpartum leading ppl (especially men or future father) to think it’s shouldn’t be that hard. Why are you being difficult, other mummies never have all these problem.

All of what you have said are pretty spot on. The 4th trimester struggles are real and yet no one seem to really talk abt it. I recall the the breast engorgement and how i was crying and laughing at the same time when i was pumping milk out AND whilst pumping one breast, the other was squirting milk out like a fountain 😂. Thank you for sharing your journey and bringing awareness to all new mothers that whatever they are feeling as new mothers are genuine be it good or bad❤

Thank you for sharing this so honestly. I had a horrible post birth experience, no nanny, lack of proper confinement food, my parents who tried to help didnt seem to know much about baby caring as well. I suffered from migraines, tailbone fracture and a simple cold caused me to be hospitalized due to lack of sleep. Took 2.5 years to recover, my girl is 3 now and i have regained my immunity and energy, but my migraines are still here. I swore no other children after this experience. I love my daughter and we are very close but some days it can be extremely hard. Motherhood is a lifelong journey.

Woww thank you so much for sharing this video. I'm 4 weeks postpartum and going through pretty much everything you touched on. And yes, same here, no one warned me about 4th trimester 😢 but it feels good to know I'm not alone in it. Thanks again for sharing

Wonderful video! I’m fm an older generation and I had no family support back then. And breastfeeding seemed to be sub standard food for my baby as it was uncommon in some older generations of mine. (I persisted 14 months breastfeeding !)Until I developed depression, my husband realised this is no joke. Thankfully my faith helped me to get out of it. The tailbone pain resides in me until now and I hope young mothers watching this, pls take care of your tailbone, no matter what. Mine cracked like Kit Kat now. We all should try not to comment or judge any new mothers but be there for the mothers whatever help they need. Every motherhood is an unique chapter, never repeated, can’t be replicated. :)

hi Annette! not sure why but I could really feel the pain and emotions you’d went through during your 4th trimester! ended up tearing quite a bit at the end of your video when seeing you & Wes. 😂 felt like all the pain of pregnancy, 4th trimester etc just went away when looking at Wes’s smiles and giggles. you’re so brave and courageous! praying for more of God’s divine strength and wisdom on you as you step into new seasons with your husband & Wes!

Lovely sharing Annette. It's so uplifting & encouraging, will definitely share with friends who's planning for pregnancy 👩‍🍼

Jia you Annette! I hope things will be kinder to you from now on! Take care

Amen to the constipation thing ! With my second baby, I was so constipated that when I finally went to the toilet, the pain was so horrendous that I threw up on myself. Needless to say, when I was due for my third, I literally packed prune juice in my hospital bag! Post birth, it’s bad! I liken it to getting hit by a bus. The post birth cramps when baby nurses was also almost unbearable for me. No one told me about those either. Having to weight myself at every Gynae appointment messed up my mental health so badly too. Seeing the weight keep going up was very upsetting. Eventually (took me til halfway through my last pregnancy) I just refused to look at the scale and told the nurse not to tell me the number and that helped 😂Accepting the changes and what is leftover when the baby comes out was tough 😩BUT I have to say that women’s bodies are amazing and we recover super quick & forget super quick too. It’s all so worth it in the end! If you are struggling, please remember that life is in seasons. Nothing lasts forever and it will get better xxx

4th trimester was the worst.. I always feel breastfeeding was the worst pain then my pregnant period even though i was hospitalised multiple time.. i cried multiple times during my maternity leave too.. But the kids’ smile and laughter will make you forget about it and when they starts to interact with you, you will always smiling over the silly things they does and make you laugh. 😊

Thank you for sharing this! This is so true! It would say it was the most miserable part of my life. My stitch wound literally tore each time I tried to poo. I remember biting on a face towel trying to poo every day. It was pure torture. Fresh blood came out each time. I can't sit down and I can't walk comfortably. Head goggly due to sleepless nights, boops cracked and painful, bottom sore and unberable. It took me more than 3 months before the wound got better! Due to old hearsay by older family members, I was not allowed to drink plain water as it was said to cause wind. The only drink I could take was red dates longan drink, which was in fact heaty, making the constipation worst. Bundle of joy? At that time, I was too tired, in pain from head to toe, to feel any joy in motherhood. To all the new moms out there, just know that you are not alone and you can get through this. Things will really get better. 😊

I just want to encourage you all especially the mothers and future to be mothers that your so wonderful, amazing and special! Your beautiful!! Out of all the women in the world yiu were Chosen to be the childs mom! Your children will literally change the World and touch thousands of lives! Your still princesses no matter your age or color!👑🥰 Your so Loved! Thank you Ladies! Thank you Mothers!!

Yes, the 4th trimester is the hardest! To the tailbone pain bit, I can relate. It happened to me in the 3rd trimester and I gathered that it was my baby sitting on my nerve. I couldn't walk, or lift up my legs - was on a wheelchair through this trimester and because of this, I couldn't give born naturally. My OB couldn't even give me a diagnosis (he mentioned that he had never encountered such cases before). Thank goodness it went away after my baby was born. But postpartum blues is real. I cried frequently because my son was growing up so fast within a week.... But yeah, it gets easier when the kids grow older..... but with different set of problems. lol

Omg yes!!! The laxative poop is no joke! The pressure at your rectum combined with everything else.. I feel u.. 😭😭😭

Thanks for sharing! A church elder's wife shared that her husband encouraged her thru her struggles and told her even if u cant breast feed, you can still feed baby well when baby is able to eat solids. Baby will still grow up well.

Even as a second time mom, it doesn’t get any easier. On top of that, having to deal with a sensitive needy toddler..I feel so bled dry. The only light at the end of the tunnel is that this is all a phase and it will pass 😢 Kudos to all moms and it feels comforting to know we have all been through similar experiences and we are not alone.

Omg i feel u so much on the poop baby. I gave birth to it on day 5 and it was soooo bad i nearly passed out from the pain. 4th trimester is truly the worst part of the whole journey. Thanks for sharing your story

Thanks for sharing. God blessings were for you and your family! He'll multiply and overflow you with His Wisdoms, Peace, Joy and Abundance of Grace. 🙏

Thanks for sharing! Yasss, no one talk much about the 4th tri , except for losing sleep & all the confinement rules. Pregnancy & labour were tough but they would end, since the baby will come out by the end of 9mths & labour ends once baby is out. I felt like the 4th tri has no end date 😢 Breastfeeding is the worse part of the 4th tri, I cried many times while going through it.

When I heard that you cried on a daily basis, I had goosebumps because I was like you. All that crying just sent me spiralling even more. My husband even had to blast rock music like Sum41 to get me up on my feet and jumped till I feel sore all over to get my mood up. Suchhhhhh a dark period and im glad it’s all over (for now at least). Pat on your shoulders, Annette!!!

Thanks for sharing and Your words of encouragement! God richly bless you in every way!

Thank you, Annette for this video. My girl is 1y2m now, I struggled a lot with bf (low milk supply, mastitis, tiredness due to combo feeding...) and thought I didn't give her the best when I finally decided to stop at 2.5mths. Thank you especially for your takeaway #1 everyone is different, and you should do what's best for your unique situation. God bless you and look forward to more impactful videos from you!

I watched this clip in full but don't have anything constructive to add on, but I find it really meaningful so I think I will at least share it. Abit of demographic: I am 42/male, Singaporean Chinese, single but attached, self employed as a freelancer. My income is not stable hence I give thanks that I did not marry and become a parent, it'd be so unfair to my partner and offspring if I don't plan with their interests at heart. I am Mahayana Buddhist, I am also alright with believing in God. Thank you Annette for sharing, I might not be a fan of yours but in recent years I aged while watching your clips, so I do empathise with your stories. Thank you and I wish you a good weekend.

Thank you for being so real Annette!

There are many more phrases you have to go thru and experience. The journey thru motherhood or parenthood is never easy. Hang in there and enjoy the rides

8months postpartum and sometimes the csec wound still hurts idky. everything u said is so on point.. I never knew the pain would be sooo unbearable (or maybe I am just weak) i stayed in hospital for 5days and shat on the 6th day when i was home, it was terrible, and my doc said I cannot take the laxative (forgot why). also breastfeeding was another level kind of pain and looking back, i regret not stopping it earlier (unpopular opinion). life revolved around pumping milk instead of spending time with my newborn. and yes it's so happy just to look at my baby everyday!❤

Experiencing fourth trimester for my first born is traumatizing for me too. I think nothing can really prep anyone for it. Much better when I had my second born cos I know what to expect. 6 years now & finally i feel life is more stable with time for myself be it physically or mentally. It’s true we just have to wait for the rainbow 🥲 & given a choice I know i’ll do it all over again.. scary tough but life changing & fulfilling for me

Found out about it through tik tok thank you for sharing❤️

The Jamu lady is Jessica. I was her first few customers when she started the business. It’s been 8 years. I recommend spending the dough on Jamu messages - Jessica 😅 and a good confinement nanny.

1 year old onwards he will start interacting with you more and this journey just gets better

While it is good for new moms like yourself to be prepared for the labour experience with clear information so we do not become alarmed, or let others alarm us. Talking about the 'fourth trimester' is as important as talking about episiotomy and the repair afterbirth. At the same time, it is important to embrace it with a sense of adventure, be realistic rather than idealistic about motherhood, and roll with the punches (Dun try to gungho do everything ourselves.) Clearly, you are leraning and enjoying it more and more...just make it your own! (breastfeed or not!)

Hearing your story just makes me feel… thank God He carried you through such a tough time & delivered you from it! & thank God you were resilient and saw through this whole period!!!🥹💖 You’ve been very brave and I hope you know that!!!

Singaporean best，most chio and most wise youtuber！

Engorgement... nightmare... I was lucky to have a very good post partum masseuse, she cleared my blocked ducts many times! But yes it was a painful process. And yes I cried when I pooped in the first week too. 😢

You look great Annette! Looking chic

There’s a very good play by Faith Ng called The Fourth Trimester!

I do get depressed over my new body and stop liking to take pictures of myself. It’s frustrating when a lot of the clothes don’t fit me anymore and I lost confidence of myself. And yes omg breastfeeding is a struggle. One missed session either cause engorgement or affect the supply. It’s overwhelming especially when it’s a first for everything and you are unsure about everything. I also stop looking at social media for awhile to look after my mental health so I can stop comparing why am I not producing enough bm compared to my friend who also gave birth one month after me but has no issues with the bm supply.

Yeah! Nobody talks about it enough! It's worse than pregnancy & birth, and it hits you so suddenly. I suffered for 1 week (only, thankfully) cos my baby had jaundice and wouldn't wake up to breastfeed till he lost 8% of his body weight, and ended up in a ward. I thought he was gonna die (I was so dramatic thanks to hormones) and I kept blaming myself for his state. Cried till giddy everyday. Glad it was all over. I liken postpartum as starting a game and facing the last boss immediately.

I agreeeeee!!! No one warns you about the 4th trimester! It's MESSED UP.

I had such a horrible pregnancy and birth experience that I am really traumatised… I am legit afraid of getting pregnant ever again… told myself I’ll never go through it. I’m a one and done mom! Like why would anyone wanna put themselves through pain again right? Apparently our body releases feel good endorphins that make us forget all about our childbirth experience… lol… not for me- remember each and every painful detail 😢

hi Annette, mind sharing which hosp and gynae did you go do? would you recommend him?

Thanks for sharing. Keep these when he turns 18😂

Always ask the lactation consultant if they have ever breastfed their kids. You'd be surprised many of them do not have that experience. I had to go to high end birth centres who focus on maternal wellness with experts who encourage natural birth and breastfeeding to help me through the fourth trimester. But the most important is the husband's support. I wouldn't have survived through my post-natal depressionS (yes, I had it twice, with my #2 and #4) without my husband's support.

U are so brave to re-visit such feelings 💪 🫶

4th trimester was really a nightmare. I said that's it! I won't get pregnant anymore ! I was induced twice and yet dilated only 1 cm ! So after 24 hours, i had to go through emergency csect. Yes 24 hrs labour ! The worst pain came soon after. It felt painful even when I want to sneeze. Breastfeeding + csect= most painful pain in my entire life. Worst when a colleague back then said giving birth through csect is not like a real actual birth. Like a fake birth. I just shout and tell her to shut up. Hahaha. When I went to my gynae to check my stitches, she told me I must not get pregnant for next 3 years and I just casually told her, I dun intend to get pregnant ever again. So without my husband's knowledge, she gave me an arm implant birth control that last up till 5 years. Hahaha. Fast forward now, my baby boy is 13 years old and many said he is lonely witha sibling but I don't think so. Our bonding is amazing although I bf him for around 3 mths only. Hahaa. Love him more than my own life. Just take my money, my house, my diamonds. Whatever I have. Love you so so much baby boy.

Nobody seemed to talk about the real struggles of 4th trimester, probably because they either forgot much about it, or that they don't want to dampen the spirits of new mums that much, or that they have no avenue to talk about it cos society doesn't care and neither do their own mil / mom care cos every mom go through it, right? 😢 1. I had 2 csecs so trust me when I say physical recovery is a PITA. 2. Breastfeeding will be tough the first few months. I was exclusively pumping for my first as he didn't take to latching, but both times I had recurring milk blebs (which I ended up bursting on my own cos nothing else helped), and many nights was spent in pain with cracked nips. And not to mention going back to work while still pumping. It's just beyond crazy. 3. I had days where I felt so alone especially at night, and days where I had zero help I ended up crying with baby in my arms for hours because the baby was just crying non stop. Thankfully there's such a thing called infant care.

The first comment my mom made when she saw me after I gave birth was how fat I looked. That made me cry whenever I recalled it, even months after it happened. I don’t know if it’s an Asian mom thing or just an excuse we’d like to give to our insensitive mothers. One thing for sure, I know I don’t want to be such a mom to my dear child.

No way! I broke my tailbone during my first brith and it ruined/dominated my post partum time. The constant pain was horrible and nothing helps. During my second pregnancy my worst fear was to break this f*** tailbone again. It was all I thought about during the birth. Luckily it did not break and my post partum phase was like heaven compared to the first time.

I’m a nobody. I’m a mum. I’m a Christian. Just leave it to God. God will take care of you and your baby.

❤

Mums, please don't even feel guilty if you can't breastfeed longer! Its totally ok! And if anyone make you feel guilty about it, just tell him/her to shut up! Hahahahaha

Its even worse when you have "people" around you advising against formula and pacifier or giving water

Haha I like the comments on your mum commenting about your body. So typical of what a mum would say. But now look at you! Smoking!😂

Sounds like something you never want to do again. This is why I will never want or feel happy if my wife gets pregnant. We chose not to have kids and I am very thankful for that. My wife has absolute priority to me over having kids.

Thanks for affirming my decision to no kids 😢

Nobody talks about it because EVERYONE will tell you it's 'NORMAL, ALL MUMS HAVE TO GO THROUGH THESE PROCESS'. I can't tell you how much I hate that phrase. Telling me others go through doesn't make the pain go away, doesn't make me feel better about myself, doesn't solve all my problems. Sometimes it's the mothers who have gone through them who make such insensitive statements because they feel they have achieved warrior level. Things are sometimes worse when it's your 2nd baby, because the first needs your attention as well, and everyone at home are less empathetic bcos they think u ALREADY know what babies and postpartum are about. The fact is, each postpartum journey is different, could be harder, who knows! Weakened Immunity is terrible because the older kid is bringing home germs and transferred to the mum AND the baby, on CONTINUAL basis. U really don't know whether there's an end to it. All these are ongoing for me currently.. Oh, and I've had 3 cycles of mastitis. And A TERRIFYING post partum hair loss (which Annette didn't touch on). I wish people would stop telling me 'don't worry, every mums goes through this, it will pass, you will be okay'. Cos dammit!! I'm not asking about next time, I'm just NOT OKAY now.

Cause when we share, those preggy will say “why are you trying to ruin my pregnancy journey.” 😂 So its better if they search about it themselves or feel it themselves.

Lol i feel like the terrible 2s period is the worst man. But then they're still so cute...

Haha i think mom have high pitch also to communicate with the baby :)

Singapore is not represented well. Please more showing natural beauty of Singapore like parks.❤

so why give birth?...

hahah to be fair, it was facebook that pushed to you that post because they knew you were a young mom who just gave birth. God works in mysterious ways, even turning invasion of privacy into something good!

Hi Annette, I just gave birth recently. I feel you literally. Thanks for making this video. At least I know, I’m not alone :( You brave through it! You are a strong mum! ❤️💪🏼💯 Would you mind sharing contacts of Jess? Just in case I need her help too. Hahaha! 🙈🫣🥹

Wow ! That’s a huge healthy baby .❤ Breast feeding really essential, that’s why he grow up so big and healthy .🫡