North - Nostalgia Critic 

*“I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.” ~ Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times*

My Japanese friend said to me "at least they didn't insult my culture." I told him that they probably think Asian is a singular culture.

Fun fact: Kathy Bates hated the script and was even advised by her agent to turn it down. She only agreed to do the film as a "thank you" to Reiner for getting her an Oscar for "Misery".

You missed the first joke. The parents in Texas note that their (former) overweight son could eat more than anyone else in a month - and hated February. February is the shortest month in the year. Therefore, he hated February because he was unable to out-eat everyone else by as wide a margin during that month... presumably.

North: A movie that went south.

Well at least Elijah Wood isn't remembered for this and everyone remembers him for Lord of the Rings, Over the Garden wall and Wilbur.

The fact that this “movie” did not win a single Razzie is nothing short of a miracle

it's astounding how many good actors are in this movie and yet the storyline sinks like titanic.

February was his least favorite because it has the least amount of days in it, and they said he can eat as much in a day what most eat in a month. Even understanding this joke, however, does not make it funny in the slightest.

TO THIS FILMS CREDIT... ...the fact that it is a dream explains why Willis would keep popping up out of random, why the story can get weird and unusual, and why the distant locations are seen as stereotypical. North hasn't BEEN to these places and can only imagine the people as stereotypes. It doesn't make this film GOOD but it does explain some of it

"There's only one barren area on this whole island..." WOW. Like, not even in the 80s.

The premise isn't that bad, I can see it being pulled off as a remake if done correctly. Maybe it's a kid wanting to divorce his parents and as he travels from place to place, he learns a special value from their culture or heritage that helps him come to realize how much he wants his parents in his life again.

Ok, the Amish part legitimately made me laugh... Although it could of been the lack of comedy from the rest of the movie...

I'm Hawaiian, and I lived in Hawaii my entire life. That "All A's" joke is one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever heard said about us (in a movie, anyway.) That "Barren Area" joke is just plain evil, though.

Oh my god. When I first saw the main kid I thought "huh, he looks a lot like Frodo." Then you said he was Elijah Wood and I was like "OOOOOH THAT'S WHY!" I'm an idiot.

Don't shoot me... but I'd actually like to see a remake of this film. The premise isn't bad, in my opinion - it's the execution that needs work. Imagine if North's search for new parents went like this: 1) The Texas couple wear normal clothes, are filthy rich due to their oil wells, and run a ranch, where they teach North how to ride horses. His riding lessons go array, resulting in him being dragged on the ground while dangling from the saddle. At some point, the father has a slip-up and says, "Way to go, Buck!" which prompts North to ask, "Who's Buck?" Then North finds out they're only teaching him to ride horses because that's what Buck loved to do, and they were feeding him Buck's favorite foods and giving him Buck's old clothes in the hopes that he'll fill become more like him. North decides he wants more psychologically stable parents, and while he sadly reflects on them missing their son, he wonders if his own parents miss him as well. 2) At first, Hawaii agrees with North. He enjoys the beach, the fresh air, the sunshine, the water sports, etc. Then he realizes Mr. and Mrs. Ho have been taking so many pictures of him because they're selling them to tabloids and making money off him. They only want to adopt him because it will help their image and further the Mr.'s political career. Then North goes swimming and gets stung by a jellyfish. Instead of getting him first aid, Mr. Ho rallies his photographers to take photos of his wound. As North leaves, he realizes that his real parents would have tended to his injury rather than taking photos. 3) Alaska seems fun at first. The parents are outdoorsy, so North looks forward to camping trips and kayaking. Then he finds out they're a family of fishermen and they want to take him out on their boat. The waves are treacherous, North gets seasick, and someone falls overboard. North decides this life isn't for him, decides not to press child endangerment charges, and reflects that his own parents never put him in harm's way.

I'm surprised it didn't do a British stereotype.

If it was all his fantasy, do you think North's parents realise how terribly racist their son is?

Another joke about the take off his pants Dad: loosen his pants Critic: (imitates dad) quick I want to get to him before the bunny suit guy gets him

Even thought the pants scene is hilarious, there is a valid reasoning for loosening pants since it allows better blood circulation in times of Panic Attacks, Heart Attacks, etc

Am I the only one who finds the Amish joke even the slightest bit funny? The build up wasn't too humorous, but the part where he said, "Floor it!" and the plane takes off at about 1000 miles an hour had me dying.

"People on the Mainland don't care about Hawaii."Oh yeah, because Americans just HATE the idea of a tropical vacation spot that they can go to without having to leave their country.

I believe that the original ending had North waking up in a mental institution. His narcissistic dilutions had gotten out of control and his parents began to worry when he kept talking about how because he was so perfect the media was out to kill him at the orders of The Editor and only the Bunny Man could save him.

To quote George Takei on this movie, in one of his most memeable quotes: *"You are made of Stupid"*

I had a panic attack and puked out my breakfast when my parents were arguing once (although it was a way more intense fight than in the movie), it can be a harsh thing to witness when you're a kid..

Elijah Wood with a guy in an animal costume? Insert Wilfred joke here.

"North's room is ALWAYS clean" "North always looks both ways" "North never spoils his apatite" "North flosses" North delivered a baby, cured chicken pox and the flu, created a lovable TV show, created the internet, sold merch about him and has 500 girlfriends that never left him.

Oh, man. That movie is incredible. It's like taking the most ridicule cultural stereotypes form old cartoons and mashing them together in a single movie.

So Hawaii appeals to people into gay hentai?

What's funny is that this show has links to both Over the Garden Wall and Gravity Falls. Elijah Wood will not only grow up to be Frodo but also Wirt from Over the Garden Wall. John Ritter is Jason Ritter's father, Jason would grow up to play Dipper Pines. Small world.

"Your balls stick to your legs like crazy glue!" A FAMILY Picture

15:43 his face sums this movie up perfectly!

I don't blame the actors in this movie. I just blame everything else in this movie. Anyone else agree?

Should I be ashamed that I chuckled at "Your Honor, the defense rests."?

Now we know which movie gave Ebert the cancer he died of

It’s actually pretty understandable that the kid would start panicking if his parents argue all the time, because when parents argue that much it literally tears kids’ worlds apart and they feel like they’ve done something wrong or like their lives are being uprooted. So yeah, it’s not unusual AT ALL.

That Texas family is what people in the 1910's thought of the US in Europe. "All them cowboys singing and diggin' out guld while we're starvin' Damn those yanks!"

Is this the ghost Bruce Willis from the sixth sense is that how he appears all around the world maybe he just goes around and helps kids

The Amish joke is amazing. The timing of the plane leaving is great.

I think the plane touching the window scene would have worked if people who saw the plane coming got scared and ran away, building up tension, only to reveal it was all for nothing.

The worst joke of all time? Turtle.

This is the reality where Butch had to hide from Marsellus Wallace disguised as a bunny.

I hate to admit it, but the Floor It part with the Amish had me dying

Why doesn’t he drop by Britain, where everyone drinks tea, wears bowler hats, references the Queen in every sentence, lives in London or the countryside, and the TVs show nothing but James Bond, the Royal family, Harry Potter, Monty Python or whatever.

Shitty movie or not, Elijah's acting is very good.

Elijah Wood's Movie Fights episode was released today. Also don't forget he'd become the voice of Wirt on Over the Garden Wall. Know what I'm Tolkien about?

So *THIS* is where the "Worst Joke Ever" clip came from!!!!

ok, so I'll admit it, the "these boys art thy new brothers, who art named 'Ezekiel'." bit did get a snort out of me.

Gene Siskel really described this movie perfectly in the first few seconds of the review.

9:50 Big Lipped Alligator Moment, anyone?

12:00 Did they just make a joke about infertility In a KIDS MOVIE?

This movie...This is legitimately the first NC review that actually got me angry. Not because of the NC, mind you, but because this movie is just that infuriating. It's the only one that made me feel filthy going out of.

But, in a way, it all makes sense: what if he was delusional, thinking everyone loved him, that he was the best at everything only to have his dream show us how ignorant and mediocre he was? Maybe his parents ignoring him was just to explain how he can't cope w/ not being at the centre of the universe :/

This movie is like a bad sitcom with no laughtrack. Everyone delivers their lines like they know they're supposed to be telling a joke, but the joke never comes, and neither does any laughter. I can't tell which is worse, this movie, or the pilot episode of Mulaney.

"Loosen his pants." "I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

''I'm an easter bunny'' ''And I'm a hobbit, blow me'' Idk why but that sudden sentence almost made me laugh myself to death.

WTF? George and Elaine from Seinfeld are Raising Frodo Baggins? ............ Why?

Wouldn't we all benefit from a Bruce Willis advisor?

Dan Aykroyd has sure been in his fair share of bad movies.

17:34 That's what us Internet denizens call a "nope".

Wait a minute... in this movie in the Hawaii scene, they say that people from the main land just don't care about Hawaii anymore.... WHAT?! People stopped caring about Hawaii? Probably THE most sought after vacation spot, next to Disney World and people stopped going there and they have a tourist problem!?

You know what? I can imagine North West (the spawn of Kim and Kanye) divorcing her parents in the future...

Fun fact: While many people know about many of the big names in this film, but there are a few names in this film you might know. - The actor that played the Amish father? That's Alexander Godunov, in his final film role before his death in 1995. You might remember him as Daniel Hochleitner in Witness and as Alan Rickman's second-in-command, Karl in Die Hard. - The actress that played his wife? None other than Charlotte Blackwood herself, Kelly McGillis! Funny enough, she also appeared in Witness, as the female lead, Rachel Lapp. - The unfortunate actress that played Ms. Ho? LAUREN TOM. Some might recognize her as Lena St. Clair in The Joy Luck Club, Julie from Friends and Dot from Grace Under Fire. However, she's most well-known for her voice acting roles. Dana Tan from Batman Beyond, Amy Wong from Futurama, Gizmo and Jinx from Teen Titans, Numbuh 3 from Codename: Kids Next Door, and as Minh and Connie Souphanousinphone in King of the Hill.

2:16 nobody’s talking about how he perfectly replicates the Tobey Maguire scream before it even existed

I'm not gonna lie...I laughed at the Amish part... But everything else in that movie was just stupid...and I usually like politically incorrect humor.

17:26 okay this movie was awful, but that scene was legitimately funny.

If anyone is familiar with Rob Reiner he would be known from his past work such as The Princess Bride, This is Spinal Tap, Stand by Me, When Harry Met Sally, Misery, and A Few Good Men. And then he made this movie. I don’t think his directing career recovered from that.

The sad thing is that the whole "dream" revelation is the only thing that can excuse (well, not really) the many stereotypes & plot holes in this movie. Only a childish mind would see the world this way.

I love critics reaction on the reveal that it was all a dream! His freak out was hilarious!

“The defense rests” 😂😂😂That is one of my favorite pathetic movie jokes of all time.

You know, look at this movie as a character study about a deeply racist boy. It becomes leagues better.

18:04 19:34 21:34 This review has some of Doug’s best reactions.

I totally agree that this is amongst the worst movies out there, but I will say to it's credit that the "It was all a dream" angle actually slightly improved it (not that I would ever accept such lazy writing but...). See, all the horrible stereotypes actually make sense. The Eskimo thing, the amish thing, the texan thing, everything in the movie is all how a little child who has never seen any of these things except for the snippets that the world has told him, which his subconscious mind puts together into something that is a ridiculous stereotype. If they played up that element more, dropped the stupid "there's no place like home" crap that I've seen a million times, and gave the movie good direction and better writers...the idea could actually be very interesting.

Bruce Willis is a ghost cliche

This movie goes to show just how important a script is to a film’s success.

For a film called North, this sure went South.

Oh my gosh! The Siskel & Ebert review is just...wow...that's how I feel about Michael Bay films!

This video is such an absolute classic that will forever be remembered

14:05 GET IT! ALASKA HAS ICE AND ICE IS SLIPPERY!!!

"I think he just wanted to go on vacation and somehow get paid for it" I think the people at Happy Madison heard this joke and decided to go for it, which explains every movie Sandler has done since.

As much as I appreciate the efforts of channels like LesiureSuitRantFiend and NostalgiacriticRUS, it's nice to see some of the classic reviews get an official upload.

Something happened to Rob Reiner around 1993. Almost every movie Reiner made before 1993 is an utterly amazing classic, and every movie he has made after 1993 is mediocre to horrible.

Is it sad that I got to see this at a drive-in when I was five and the fake-out ending where it looks like North and his parents get shot made me cry so bad I had to be taken home?

Funny enough, apparently, the word 'Eskimo' is actually offensive to them. Inuit is actually the appropriate term. :) Just a little something to tuck away in your mind.

"What gives you the right to show my crack on every highway?!" No. No. No. Noononooo. This movie is really obsessed with Wood's ass.

I swear Jason Alexander always plays Constanza in every film he’s in.

That's why Buck hated February, they've put comedy on a level we cannot comprehend, Ha.

Little Nemo was all a dream sequence where he goes to Slumberland, meets goblins, and defeats the Nightmare King by using a magic staff and yelling about pajamas. It made far more sense than this movie.

"It was a really 'big' loss" As a terrible-pun-lover, that's the joke.

The Critic used to be so much funnier! God I miss the old days. This review is classic.

The "defence rests" joke made me laugh because I knew how low the movie went. Plus the looks on the parents faces were probably just like the audiences.

When I was a kid I thought movies were either boring or great nothing in between, then I saw North. It was the first time I realized oh movies can be horrible

You're telling me that Rob Reiner, the guy who made The Princess Bride and A Few Good Men , two of my all-time favorite films , made this?!!

Am I the only one who noticed that he left the Amish because of no electricity, then went to live in the jungle...?

The only good thing about this movie is that it miraculously didn't sabotage Elijah Wood's acting career and he went on to star in better movies like Lord of the Rings, 9, both Happy Feets and he even starred in the beloved Cartoon Network miniseries "Over the Garden Wall".

Apparently, "North" originated with a book written by Alan Zweibel, one of the best comedy writers of his time, with credits at Saturday Night Live and the Garry Shandling Show. "North" can only stand as an exhibit to show to anyone who says "It Can't Miss!" Yes, it can!

Incredible how some of the worst movies ever have some of the biggest stars ever

Never take advice from a guy in a bunny suit who couldn't hold on to Demi Moore.

"Here, loosen his pants!" *FBI OPEN UP*

I'm sooo glad I clicked over to this after the Siskel and Ebert episode 🤣