LOL! Hilarious, including the core of the lettuce, killing the tuna in mixer, eating with a scoop. You are VERY, (Not) very Alison Roman. You need the orange red nail polish though! Brilliant!
You nail A. Roman's feigned awkwardness to a T. I recommend more 'over the lip line' lipstick and twist your mouth more to emulate some trashy Courtney Love look, but with the same attitude of 'I really love fine food but I approach it like I could care less if anyone likes it or not'. Invite some friends over (like A. Roman) that look like they either fell into a pile of money or who look like they are still in touch with at least two people who kicked heroin... because it's still cool to know people who used to use H.
