opening up about my story | VLOGMAS DAY 11 

For those of you that might be confused about why I filmed this video (I can see why it would seem SUPER random), it is because last video many of you all requested to hear about my story that I have walked through with binge eating and where I am at now. PLEASE feel free to ask questions down below and I will try to answer it it another video!

‘if i were to just fix my body, i would finally be loved by somebody’ 😮‍💨 wow thank you for sharing your testimony

Thank you Tailor, I struggle with anxiety all my life, but Jesus helps me everyday

Thank you Taylor so much for this video. I have apeirophobia - the fear of eternity and living with this phobia is really hard especially as a Christian. I’ve heard both you and Ashley talk this past year about how you got involved in counseling, and I’ve been trying for the past month to find a counselor/psychologist or therapist. I love Charles Spurgeon’s quote “Half our fears arise from neglect of the Bible” not meaning that we neglect the Lord’s help in these situations but that, personally speaking, I just need to fill my mind with more of God’s Word and Truth and love for Him. I also found out that my fears keep me from reading the Bible and knowing truly who God is, which i need in order to fight these fears, so it’s this kind of cycle: I have this fear because I’m not filling myself with the Bible, but I can’t get rid of this fear because it won’t allow me to read the Bible, that can free me from the fear. I also feel the way you said sometimes: that I am so burdened with fears and STRUGGLES and problems that I feel like I’m never going to make it, and this leads to great discouragement and hopelessness and it affects all the areas of my life. Just wanted to share all these fear-related thoughts here in hopes that it will edify or encourage someone. It would be great Taylor/Ashley to have a conversation with you! Thank you again for all the work that you guys do.

Such a challenge and I appreciate your vulnerability to share. It can be a hard subject to talk about. I feel like I am just starting to get a hold of things too. I lost 60 lbs in 2018-2019 I received so many compliments and was even treated better by people I knew and strangers. I felt like - oh this must be what being pretty is. Being thin equates to value and beauty. But it was so hard to keep up with and I felt so insecure , even more than I did when I was overweight. Then with covid everything shut down but I actually worked more hours than ever through covid. 90-120 hours a week and just ate anything and everything in sight to deal with the stress. I just ate my feelings and nearly gained it all back. It’s been such a challenge to not eat to fill an emotional void now. I pray that I am on the healing side of that and getting things under control and balancing my thoughts and emotions before approaching food. I really appreciate your sharing of your journey. It can really feel like an isolated experience that nobody else deals with. Not that I want other people to but it nearly brings me to tears to know I’m not alone struggling and there is hope on the other side of it. 💖

Thank you so much for telling your story. I am currently struggling with food in a similar way and I have gained quite a bit of weight, but I feel like I am on the brink of a breakthrough- praise God!

This video was like a hug to me. I relate to a lot of your story. I have come a long way but it is a day-to-day process. I'm going through a rough patch right now and I feel my body wanting to resort back to old habits, but I'm always trying to keep my eyes on God because He is truly the one who redeems and comforts us. I'm so happy for you that you found a counselor that really helps you- that's a game changer. I'm so excited for you to continue to inspire and help others who struggle with eating disorders. Ty for your vulnerability and wisdom on this

Wonderful, I found a lot of freedom through recovery channels, learning, renewing my mind like you have. I know the hell of binging. The two biggest things that helped me was viewing all foods as neutral not good and bad and taking all restrictions off. I was binging because I was restricting, not restricting because I was binging ❤

Oh Taylor I’m sorry you’ve struggled with this! I too have heard things from people I love about my weight whenever I was younger maybe even child and I look back at it and I was completely not over weight. People have the entitlement to assume what you need as a person, I wish ppl would not give their opinion on people’s appearances. It’s heartbreaking and it causes so much damage. Praying for you Taylor! ❤

Beautiful testimony, Taylor! Thank you for sharing how God has and still is working in your life. I think you'd make such a compassionate counselor!!!!!! God bless you!

I wish relatives would care about how they talk to young people. I also had a few relatives who made comments and even told me I needed to diet and exercise 😔

Thank you Taylor for being so open! You are beautiful. May God continue to help you on this healing journey. ❤

I would love to see a what I eat in a week video! I was told from a very young age how ugly I was because I was overweight and to this day it still haunts me. I hope to be in a place like you are emotionally one day God willing. 🤍

I have followed your channel for a while but have never commented. I admire you both :) thank you for your vulnerability taylor. I am trying to recover from an ed and really appreciate hearing your story ❤️

Taylor, thank you so much for your raw and open honesty. The beginning part of your story sharing about junior high and high school insecurities relating to your body and correlation in your mind of it being the reason you weren’t pursued was something I myself experienced. I was not a strong Christian at the time either so the first time a guy did show me attention, I gave him anything he wanted and completely lost myself in the process. I developed a binge eating disorder and ended up spending all of my adult life over 300lbs and eventually reaching a high weight of 425lbs. A little over 2 years ago I had weight loss surgery which has helped me shed 197 lbs so far, but I quickly learned they did not operate on my brain and now my coping skill was no longer working because I couldn’t eat enough to get the “high” from binging. I had to do the hard work to get myself to a place to trust my body and what it wants and listen without judgement. I’m now 45 years old and only just getting to a healthier place with food. I never ended up with orthorexia and legalism around food because I was never able to actually find control when I was lost in food addiction, but I relate to so much of your story and I know other women will too. Thank you for your vulnerability.

Am so sorry about that, its like i went through the same

I just want to say that you are so beautiful inside and out Taylor!!! I want to thank you for being so vulnerable and taking us on this journey with you! Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I was very underweight and unattractive. I decided to focus on my work not on my appearance because at the end of the day, I find people respect hard working folks regardless of their appearance.

God bless you for doing this Taylor! I was always a medium weight until I lived in Germany then I really put it on. So now I struggle with it on a daily basis. I'm type 2 diabetic so I really have to work to keep my weight down. It's so hard in October, November, and December because I love sweets so much! I used to eat secretly but now, since I'm older and live alone, I don't have to. It helps my guilt around food to not eat in secret anymore. I thought the pictures of you as a little girl were really cute. I loved seeing you with a music book and coming or going from a piano lesson. (I remember that series in those books when I took piano lessons). I've always been insecure and had a terrible self esteem. When I worked with children, they loved me for me and all those years I taught gave me my self esteem back. As as singer, professionally for 15 years and a soloist in church, I feel good and I'm not so self conscious anymore. I'm overweight but I've learned to live with it and my help comes from the Lord every day! Thank you for sharing this today!

I'm so glad you found a helpful counselor 🥰

You are an amazing topping woman. My heart is breaking for you. I have been on this same journey my whole life. I feel like you could do great things in helping other young women through their difficult journey with food. Using what you know and combining it with God could set you apart as a fabulous therapist. Think about it!

Thank you so much for your openness and honesty. I can relate to so much of your story! ❤

I so needed this video! This past year has been so stressful on my body and I'm ready to start healing ❤

I too use food to cope with my stress sometimes. Thank you Taylor for sharing your story. Lots of love sis❤

i really appreciate your vulnerability taylor. ❤

You’re so brave to share all this so openly, I can relate so much. ❤

Hi Taylor, you are going to make a wonderful counselor. Be not weary in well doing. Your video helped me. Have a blessed night

Thank you for your story, I struggle worh binge eating too, but I hope there is hope for freedom...

i had to watch this 3 times... finally you put into words what i have been struggling with

Thanks for this video it really touched me because I struggle with food and not happy with my weight. I hope you will do another video on what you eat. Thanks for sharing. Much love and blessings to you and yours. ❤

I relate to your story so much. When I was eleven (during high school), I went to the school infirmary for a checkup of some kind and they had to weigh me. I was considered overweight at that point. Unfortunately, one girl was sleeping in the infirmary and overheard the conversation around my weight. Needless to say, she gossiped about it and it came back to me. I felt so ashamed and developed similar strongholds as you. Mind you, this same girl used to bully me when we were in elementary school together. I've also developed the same habit of wearing oversized clothes for my body, to cover/hide it over the years, so that no one would see my body shape. Back then, I always felt so big, but looking back at the photos I was a tad overweight but it was very much okay. Thankfully, the Lord is helping me in restoring all of this. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there.

Amen !!!😭🙏

Thank you!🥰

I just love your heart Taylor, you are beautiful inside and out just as the Lord created you. God bless you dear and God bless your family. Thank you for this video. Merry Christmas to you from Budapest Hungary

Thank you so much for sharing!❤️

I really like your outlook on just eating the darn cookie. I've struggled with that too. What I like to do is include something healthy (fiber) with the thing I want... So as not to eat the whole sleeve. Banana and cookie, apple and chips, etc. idk, it's helped me. Idk if it's a bad outlook... 😮

love this, especially around the upcoming festivities its very hard to not be self conscious. Do you happened to have a referral for some one you recommend?

Thank you so much for sharing. My question is about your thoughts on the role of parents in promoting healthy body image and eating habits for children. My daughter is 2 and I want to get her started in gymnastics and stories like yours really scare me. How do you think parents can approach sports and other body focused activities in a healthy and body positive way? What are the signs that an environment or the sports/group culture is not healthy? What are the signs that children might show that indicate they aren't thriving in those environments? Any other general advice would be sincerely appreciated ❤

God loves you Taylor in all body shapes and sizes ❤

I pray I overcome my binge eating and other ED’s as well. I’d love to be on the other side

Question: What does intuitive eating say about unreasonable cravings? I understand that you have to learn to listen to what your body wants and needs but sometimes I crave food that is not good for me and is emotionally driven. Or other times I crave food that I have literal allergies/intolerances to like dairy and gluten. How do I intuitively eat when my hunger signals are stacked against me? I really struggle with rationalizing my food choices and getting decision fatigue over eating food that is “bad” especially when I have allergies

Thank you for sharing ❤😊

Thank you Taylor for opening up. I don’t have so many words right now, but it means much to me what you shared💞 you are so pure, so you, thanks for that too😉😘

❤ Hello from Schaumburg! ❤️

I am curious as to what your phobia is. Obviously I know that is very personal and there is no obligation to share, I just find it interesting as I also struggled with binge eating for a long time and I have a suspicion that I also have the same phobia. Just wondering about the correlation between the two!

I know people who doing weight loss shots and stuff. I feel like that alot.

Hiiii 🥰

I never see any videos of you and your boyfriend. Did yall break up?