Our 20s Self Had No Idea 

I'm in my mid-40s, and I still look around and think, "I need an adult! An adultier adult. Who can do adult stuff."

Me explaining to my 27 year old daughter that thinking you'll have it all figured out someday is an illusion. 'Just do your best and be kind to others.'

I'm 59 and I have learned that whatever "the experts" are telling us to eat today, they will tell us in 10 years from now eating it will kill us. lol. Also 90 % of everything we worry about NEVER happens!

Sleeping in separate rooms is a marriage saver as we get older. It’s a big benefit of being empty nesters! Especially if you’re on different sleep schedules or if you snore. 😊

"Adulting" is just endless laundry and dishes😂

20s Kim is also Hallmark Kim. Proving we were all vapid Hallmark characters in our 20s.

65 here. My husband has become increasingly sexier in the past several years. Why? He makes the bed, does the dishes, reminds me to take my medications, and fixes my first cup of coffee every morning. He even folds clothes and offers to clean the bathrooms. SO SEXY!!

I learned a ton in my 40's. Not in a very fun way; but I suddenly went from being busy as a wife- and a mom of kids finishing high sch ... to a gal who had to take the reigns on everything, when my hubby was suddenly diagnosed with huge brain tumor. (& Lou Gehrigs) I didn't know the things I could push my way through-I'd not everrr imagined I could. From suddenly learning nuero talk('yes, I called parametics when his seiz turned into a 'focal' after 20 minutes) to driving in places that make me panic(big city traffic), or calming our very alarmed kids, to being prepped for 24 hrs in ER's & keep medical info of mri's, surgeries, radiation or chemo treatments. And still try & find calm & humor as I could for my hubby. Stuff seems so trivial now-that I turned 50 in middle of all that. Hair messy? I forgot Iam wearing the same jeans for a week? Oh shoot I have more squinty lines around my eyes....Who cares. Hearing a strong heartbeat on a moniter or to hear my hubby breath loud in his sleep ❤is what I wanted~

When I was a kid, I never understood why both sets of my grandparents slept in separate rooms. I absolutely get it now!!!

I'm almost 70, and I have NOTHING figured out!! I just go day to day like everyone else 🤷‍♀

Another vote for separate bedrooms!! It's SO much nicer it is ridiculous. We can have our own temp preferences, bed softness preferences, sleep schedule preferences, light preferences, etc etc etc. And I can snore and he can get up to pee in the night and we don't bother each other. Love it!!

58 yrs old here. Only thing i figured out is my life is 3/4 over.

"You're breathing that way; I think YOU should leave."🤣

"I have no idea what I'm doing and I have nothing figured out, cheers."😳I feel so called out😅😆

Sleeping in separate rooms has been wonderful for my marriage! We sleep so much better and are nicer to each other as a result.

Spot on 😂❤ I think aging is about becoming increasingly humble and honest…

One Great thing about getting older… I really have forgotten 90% of old 1997 Star Trek Deep Space Nine episodes. So rewatching the DVD I purchased in 2004, wooooo that was a surprising ending to that episode! So shows I have not seen in 20+ years… AWSOME!

I laughed all the way through this video. It's so true. We are celebrating our 35th Anniversary this year, so we have been together a LONG LONG TIME ... at this point, our children are now raised and have flown the nest. It's so interesting how things are evolving. We suddenly have a lot of "just us" time. The house seems so quiet - sometimes lonely, but also sooo peaceful! We can literally walk around naked if we want [okay, after you pass 55+ this isn't about sexy, it's a "you do you honey" situation] Also, at this stage, you discover how important it is to marry your BEST FRIEND and to keep that friendship nurtured - because now is when you find out if the marriage was only holding together because keeping your kids alive was your shared interest. I think most people who stay married this long must have developed some significant "trauma bonding" [lol - kidding not kidding] but also, we've learned what each other's strengths are, and have become a team. For us, I am the detail person who fills out the paperwork, plans the vacations, assigns the chores, decorates, organizes the dinner parties and family reunions, etc ... and my husband takes care of the financials, taxes, bills, investments, and payment deadlines [because numbers make my brain shut down] as well as tracking our home and car repairs, and problem-solving the annual ant invasion .... We share all the house chores. His dad was the stay-at-home parent [very unusual in that era], and taught his sons how to take pride in scrubbing, washing, folding, dusting, and cooking, etc ... God bless him! Yes, I won the lottery. LOL ... right now, we are just so dang GRATEFUL to have each other. We have been through some health scares - we've seen a couple of friends pass away leaving their spouse alone - and so we do not take each other for granted. We hug and kiss each other so much more now. We take time to tell each other "I love you" and say something nice when we say goodbye [because you never know when the last time will be]. These are things we should have been doing as a younger couple. We are traveling and having adventures together now just the two of us, and it's a blast. We are learning new things - just joined a hiking group and a games night group ... thinking of buying some e-bikes .... we are getting more adventurous with our cooking, too, because no kids are around protesting and refusing to try it. Life is good. Our hard work and perseverance to get to this point have paid off in spades. Our 25-year-old newlywed kid selves had NO CLUE how many hard things were heading for us. OMG it's been so many crises and wild plot twists ... it takes a LOT of commitment to stay together, and yes, there WILL be times you aren't certain if it's worth it, and will wonder why you actually married each other. You WILL evolve as people and need to evolve with the evolving ... We've had multiple times we've considered getting a lawyer throughout 35 years ... that doesn't mean we had a broken relationship. It means we were human. Before throwing in the towel, take time to invest in the two of you to make certain that's gonna be your best long-term option. Get couples therapy - it's worth every penny to have a moderator navigate the big discussions, observe what the real problems are, and offer some expert guidance. Carve out times to go to dinner, or just take walks around the block together and be fully present [turn off your phones!!], talk about things NOT related to the kids, and develop shared interests that can continue long-term. Don't forget to thank each other for how hard each other are trying, and notice and acknowledge the small thoughtful things your partner has done for you, and vice versa. Gratitude and acknowledgment is golden. You've got this.

I'm 73. I have figured out that I don't need others to make me happy.

Even in my 20's, I knew being 20-something was not for me. Now that I've entered my 40's, I am fully comfortable openly not giving a shit. :) I have no desire to be cool. I want to drink tea and wine and make quilts and listen to podcasts on politics and murder. It's very liberating!

65 years here, and I never realized how much I would enjoy a simple life. Once I get my daily chores done, I love my time to read, think, go for a walk, and so on. And yes, my younger self was clueless to all this.

I turned 70 in December. I totally enjoyed the 1970s so I’m embracing these 70s and grabbing life with both hands. I’ve learned to accept that I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. But I can say that I did the best I could with whatever information and resources that I had at the time. And that hindsight is always 20/20. So I’m working on letting it go. 💚

I figured out that other people don't really care about what you're doing. Everyone is way too busy living their own life and having their own perception. So don't worry too much about what other people think about you.

48 year old here: Separate blankets! No tugging or pulling to wake me up anymore. Best. Sleep. Ever.

61 here and 42 years of marriage and i have figured out we still have the same arguments we did 42 years ago lol

"No more gluten and dairy, trying to figure out why bloated and gassy and just farty" I can't stop laughing 😅

The paperwork is my kryptonite hit home. I (jeff) do all the paperwork. Investments, insurance, medicare, and anything else that pops up. Yet, karen pays the bills each month. As for figuring things out...well i think i have learned most things cant be figured out. The idea there are "solutions" to much of life is an illusion. Its a chaotic system where you hope to navigate as well as you can from day to day. Finally, as we age (65 here), our bodies, no matter how well taken care of, begin to provide their own little surprises. Such as waking up in the morning and finding your right heel hurts with each step...yet it was fine when i went to bed. Or you slept on your side and how your hip makes you limp for two days. Or the surprise 5am wakeup with a full blown panic attack, and you struggle to get back to sleep..ensuring the following day is going to be so much "fun". its a giant roulette game of "Lets See What Hurts Today".

“Talking about trashy tv with you really fills my cup” 😂😂❤

Emergency contact cracks me up as I'm always like, why isn't this 911?

I saw a meme once that said "God doesn't expect you to have it all figured out. He just wants you to trust that He already has." I have had ZERO worries from that time on.

When I was in my 20's, I didn't know my early 70's would include my own computer and the Holderness family making me laugh!!! 😃

My grandparents slept in separate beds for my entire life. When I was grown I finally asked her why. She stated there was not enough room in the bed for 2 adults and two dogs and my grandfather had to choose. He chose the dogs....she was very upset for 3 whole nights and then realised her sleep drastically improved. She said she would never go back to sharing a bed while sleeping. There was no more arguing about listening to the radio to fall asleep or having decorative pillows that had to be taken off every night etc.

"I just can't drink, or I won't sleep for 2 days. And then just have massive anxiety and panic attacks. Not worth it" This is me, I feel you. 🤜 🤛

Going to be 59 this year. What do I know that I didn't know in my 20s? To (unironically) quote my 25 year old son who was counseling a 20 year old at work who was just heartbroken over a break up with a boyfriend she'd planned to spend the rest of her life with. "This sucks. He doesn't deserve you. But the rest of your life is a long time. In a weird way, he did you a favor. You won't be the same person in five years that you are now." I feel like that probably speaks to a lot of what I'm experiencing right now. A whole lot of stuff that I thought was important in my 20s just isn't. I love it when my husband does anything without me asking him to (doing the dishes, walking a dog when we're traveling together, washing AND VACUUMING the cars . . .).

At 51 I figured out that I made a bad decision every time i refused to take a nap.

Enjoying this on my 37th wedding anniversary. We couldn't remember yesterday what anniversary it was. Oh, happy couples DO sleep in separate rooms when a cpap enters the marriage.

Today’s my 67th birthday. Having successfully raised 3 kids to adulthood, living the sexy single life, pet-free and making it up as I go, all I know now is- Have Fun!! Enjoy Life! It’s all up to you (or Me, in my case!😂) Thanks Holdeness family for keeping us laughing along the way!!!❤

37yo, 10 years of marriage, obsessed with my dog, and my husband spends half his time devoted to his high protein diet. I feel very seen. This is literally the most relatable video Kim has ever done.

Figured out sleep is highly underrated!!

"weird farty patterns" lol

Our anniversary is near a holiday, which helps us remember it. We go out for dinner, then walk around a home-improvement center. 🥂❤️🛠️

Husband has diabetic neuropathy and is cold all the time. He sleeps in a room the temperature of Mustafar. I'm post menopausal but my body is stuck on HOTTER THAN H3LL all the times. I sleep with my bedroom windows open... I wake up covered in snow and I can see my breath! I sleep like a baby on Hoth. We've done this for the past three years and it has been so amazing for our sleep. We were both miserable with the temp set at 72F...did I mention I have an industrial fan going on high and a high powered desk fan pointed at my head while I sleep in the snow and cold? I hate when the temps outside get over 20F. I love a nice sub zero Polar Vortex with 60 MPH winds dropping that windchill temp to blissfully cold! I need a meat locker instead of an a/c in my room!!! A/Cs only go down to 62- THAT IS TORTURE!!!!!!!

Yup! I’m 42, still feel like a 15yo inside most of the time, wonder how I’m responsible for my child, and have no idea how to get more protein into my diet…😂❤ (love you, Kim!)

Loved the breathing / separate rooms bit! There was going to be a murder in my home before the wonderful invention of CPAP entered our lives ;)

Watching the ice level change back and forth in young Kim's glass. 😂

Yes on the protein. I listened as I ate my eggs and chicken patty breakfast 😂 it really does feel like a part time job

The amount of iced tea you had trying to film this is awesome

Kim, you are so cool to share all this. Makes me feel much better. Thank you.

44 here and still don't have a lot figured out- I have learned tho to slow down a little, enjoy every day, and be nice to people😊

Years ago when I was 29 my mom, sister and I took my 7 nieces and nephews, ages 6-12, on a big trip from GA to PA. Last year I blew the minds of my now 30-something nieces by telling them that they are several years older now than I was then!

I'm 50 currently but I would so love to be in my 20s again. For one thing I wouldn't be in as much pain as I am now and I could still do things like sit on the floor without too much problem. I would love to do simple things like that and go dancing and such again. With age some things I have realized due to experience is my job is not what I really want to be doing. If I had known back then, I would have changed. But since I am so close to retirement, I feel kind of stuck to keep doing the job I have. Also through experience of taking care of my Mom I learned to be more compassionate and less selfish than I was when I was younger. That is something I wish I had done better in my 20s as well as not taking simple things like going for walks for granted. Getting older and becoming handicapped sucks.

LOVED the purr after wordle 🔥!

The older I get (me, Art at 61, Wife Susan 64), I feel I know less. But when I was 27 (my son’s age), I knew everything!!

If we get through the day its a major win, figure it out tomorrow... thanks for sharing this made me feel normal

You and Penn are such a beautiful, REAL couple. Kim, your skin is glowing girl!

57 here. Most stuff that seems really important isn't. Some of it is just an interesting challenge -- like building a career -- but the stakes aren't as monumental as they seem in our 20s. Life is a set of experiences. Some are bad. Lots are tedious. So, take joy in the daily, enjoyable ones because when we're gone, those are over too! As musician Wareen Zevon said "enjoy every sandwich!"

I love my 65 year old mind-just wish I still had my 45 year old body 😂

I find the older I get the more “security conscious” I get. When I think of things I did as a young adult…😅

I feel like I knew more in my twenties than I do my forties 🤣

"I don't know what I'm doing and have nothing figured out." The TRUTH!!

I'm 30 and Kim is so relatable!! Lol!

Me in my young 30s, I cant wait to see what my 40s bring 🎉 hopefully more time to read and do hobbies

In June, my wife and I will celebrate 20 years of really not knowing what we've figured out in the past 20 years! LOL

Love the protein part time job comment made me cry laughing… it’s so true

I laughed so hard about registering for camp that my 13 year old came to check on me😂

My mom left flowers on the counter and until I read the card, I didn't know it was our anniversary. We have a wooden plaque with the date above our stove.😂😂😂

Same 😂 I was outrageously idealistic in my 20s about thinking I knew exactly how my life would/ should go. Now I’m a couple of decades older and I wish that I could have a little convo with that gal! 😂

My husband and I regularly both forget our wedding anniversary. It is all fine. Skips one more gift event!

For years I couldn't figure out why I was so. dang. tired. Like, barely able to function, going back to bed for several hours after breakfast every day tired. When my husband got covid and slept in another room for a week or so, I suddenly had energy I hadn't felt in years. I love my husband, but I also love my sleep, so we have kept that arrangement. He has a puppy to keep him company now 😂

2:31 ...beautifully-recorded moments, with your beloved pup🐾 ...🥰 ...☺️ ...👍

I always get such a good laugh watching your videos. 🤩😂

53 and I’ve learned to find my happy place, as long as I’m semi-healthy. I don’t sweat being completely healthy…lol. I mean I loathe vegetables and I hate excessive, so I tell myself that walking my dogs and making sure I don’t eat to excess and keeping my weight at a healthy weight is going to have to do it. I make sure I have hobbies to intersperse with work and spending time with my husband and thankfully my kids still like to spend time with us every other week with the occasional text or call in the middle of that time. I’m feeling pretty good about my life right now. I’m an introvert like Kim, so I do force myself to go out when my work colleagues gather for things and find that I enjoyed myself, even though I leave the second the first person gets up…lol

This filled my cup! Early 30's and I often wonder how it is that I still don't have things "figured out." My sister enthused over the quality of sleep she and her husband experienced when sleeping in separate rooms and I thought it was strange...now, several years and 3 children later, my husband and I almost plead with each other over who gets to sleep peacefully on the couch and who has to stay in the bedroom with the baby 😂

😂😂 literally watching this from the separate bed that I banish *myself to when his snoring is more than earplugs can even handle 😅

52 here. If I had to do it all over again - separate bedrooms for the win! Not only do you get much better sleep, but you have a bit of quality alone time at the very start and very end of your day. It's like introvert vitamins.

"Yes, I'm still watching" 😂

Somehow watching the video and reading the comments makes me feel normal . 😊

The only thing I miss about my early 20s is being able to get out of bed in the morning without feeling like I've been run over by a truck in the night... Oh and also no nighttime bathroom visits! 😂

75 here. Everyday I as I am getting dressed I am thinking "I don't actually know wtf I'm doing". Then I say to myself, well you've pretended to know for this long, so just pretend for another day, that's what everyone else is doing whether they know it or not.

LOL This is pretty accurate. I’m 40 and sent this to my 20 year old daughter 🤭 WE can both relate. Thank you for this uplifting reminder!

I'm 31. I was married 100% of my 20s. We have 6 kids. I have learned that marriage is hard. Like really, really hard. But nothing could be more worth it. Ppl ask all the time why and how we do what we do. I always tell them that God has a plan that doesn't always make sense, but that is what's best for you.

42 here, also 19 years of marriage...have to say the drinking part hit home. haha, no sleep, anxiety...omg so true. I never thought I would not drink and I barely do anymore. lol!

Bahahaha the protein. But, girl, don't even get me started on IRON! Geez Louise there aren't enough hours in the day to get all your protein AND Iron! 😂

The paper work thing I can totally relate to and yes we just switched to separate rooms and we have never been closer. So amen to all of it. Kids and marriage were so easy before I had them 😂

THANK YOU KIM !, my new favorite video & its short !,& even better! 😃

I need a tee shirt that says, "I have no idea what I'm doing and I have nothing figured out." Please make one for us!

Oo! I'm gonna use flame as my starting word today.

Turning 28 this weekend and rapidly accepting that, uh, this feeling of Totally Lost And Overwhelmed is kind of just my state of being 😂😂😂 like adulting is just figuring shit out as you go

46 and very happily married for 17 years with one 15 year old here. Letting the little stuff go and not picking on it. When its big stuff that actually really hurts, talk in terms of "this really hurts me what can we do about it". Being a team is everything.

Sunny at 2:32 😂😂😂😂😂😂 that's the best part!! " wut is she going ON about???"

I bring up our month-a-versary every month. (She always forgets). We are on our 275th month-a-versary this month!

What I have figured out now that I am in my 40s... The things I did when I was younger that lead to success without me knowing or understanding why. I can more contextualize that. The nature of money and wealth building. The need to give your kids some room to make their own decisions and then have to live with the consequences.

OMG I totally thought adults had everything figured out. 52 year old me is super disappointed about that illusion.

"With age comes wisdom." HAHAHAHAHA

I love how the glass of ice tea keeps going up and down with every scene Been married over 37 years we sleep in separate rooms it's fine

Love y'all so much!!❤❤

When we were early on in our marriage and went out to breakfast and I saw a couple reading the paper and not talking, and I thought-" we are never going to be sitting there across the table and not talking to each other. That's so sad!" Umm... when you are together all the time, you don't need to constantly be talking to each other. It's comfortable and nice to be silent next one another.

This was great, so on point 😂

LOL- we've been married almost 30 years - but sometimes we annoy each other. Glad we aren't the only ones! I also figured out I can't put on my pants anymore without holding onto something! I lost all balance around 54.

I'm 75 and still do the same thing. I work hard and SAVE MONEY. 😅😅😅😅😅