"Drawers without latches, hard edges, choking hazards...this house is a nightmare!" John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit www.johncristco...
Yes!! Our friends and family that don’t have kids are always telling us we should come to their house and I try to explain that our kids will destroy everything they love. 🤣
Years ago, a couple of my childless friends decided to host a birthday party for another friend's one year old. I literally spent several minutes putting laptops on high shelves and moving guitars to a different floor. All of their devices and valuables were at coffee table level. The kids had a field day...
Lol. Even if you think you've childproofed your house and there is no way there is a hazard left, your kid will find a way to hurt themselves in the most imaginative way.
That’s so true. I was watching a 12 year old boy, yes 12 I let him and his brother go outside while I went to the bathroom and by the time I came out he was holding his bloody leg. I was in the bathroom for 2 minutes. And he, in that time, had gotten on his bike, and fallen off the curb and gashed his leg. 🙄. I was babysitting them because he isn’t trusted to be left alone with his 9 year old brother and 4 year old sister.
40-ish years ago one of my nieces put a bobby pin in an outlet. It’s not that uncommon. Back then, there weren’t Outlet Covers, like there are today. 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Monique Housdon This might be accurate 😂 I kept thinking of Trey during the whole video. He would have been so believable as the Mom. This was funny but John needs to get more in touch with his feminine side for these lol.
John is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE RU-vidRS! “Do you mind if he just plays in the Tupperware drawer?” “Started at the bottom, now we’re at URGENT CARE!” Haha 😂 As a clean comedian, this dude is inspirational! 🔥
@@christa526 in no way does anyone support what he did, but after releasing check your heart and going on an 8 month leave to check his heart, and then apologizing, i think he deserves a second chance. Also I don't watch him for that, I watch for his comedy.
@@jodijohnson23 EXACTLY!!! All my siblings laughed at me when i said get my niece and nephews boxes to play with (because i don't have kids). Every time they come over, what do they grab? Amazon shipping boxes 😂
As a mom the struggle is real but honestly if you are going to someone's house who doesn't have kids and you don't bring anything to entertain or feed your child with, that's your fault. Lol
At my old rental home, there were a couple of times that my neighbor asked me to watch her kid while she went grocery shopping (I am super not a kid person). her daughter would always complain about how boring my house was, because I didn't have any kids snacks, board games, or toys.I secretly kept it that way so that she wouldn't want to come over very much LOL
Me: childproofs home by using child locks & covering outlet sockets Kids: play with dining room chairs, fall down & injure their arms, fall off the bed, hit their forehead with the doorknob, slip on a small drop of water
My friend had a baby late in her early 40s, after her second marriage, it still could happen for some women... Anyway, the way she would talk to her little son was so annoying, she would talk to him like an adult, "I don't understand what you're saying, you need to be clear with your words and crying is unneccsary, Koa, She's Hawaiian and Japanese-American, so she named him Koa. She never raised her voice, she would let him scream if the raisins were touching the cheese crackers in a snack plate she made him, he demanded they be put in separate plates, and she would just say, Oh Koa, I'm sorry, I forgot to do that for you honey. Or she would tell him, use your quiet voice honey when you're mad, you're too young to get mad and he would run off screaming. She just sat their laughing, "isn't he the cutest"?! Her husband would be the one to put his foot down and discipline their kid, it never challenged their marriage in disagreeing how to raise their kid, but I couldn't visit her anymore because of her son's constant tantrums. He was just spoiled, but now he's an out standing student in middle school, already knows how to play a couple instruments, very respectful to his parents and when I visit them, before the pandemic, Koa alway's gave me a big hug, calls me Auntie, and even offers me something to eat or drink! My friend does look tired though! Lol
I have a one year old who walks around with those in her mouth!!! I never knew I needed to "child proof" that until she started constantly messing with them 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Had young kids at my house recently who wanted to fiddle with everything in sight and look for more. Suddenly I was thinking like the "mom" in this video LOL
I like how he is worrying about every possible thing but yet he encourages the kid to play with golf balls that that kid is sure to try to stuff in its mouth
God has blessed you John! We sat down as a family and prayed that you would be used by Him for His glory. He is faithful. He is our Sar Shalom 🙏🏼🙌🏼🎶 continue to read His Word. In His Grace and mercy we walk talk and have our being. Look up ! Luke 21
Seriously. If Spiderman, Godzilla, and Houdini had a child, he would be characteristically similar to my son---who can't even talk yet. No one warned me of this potentiality.
I SO get it~My Son would have been an only child if we had him first because Gregory WIPED us out, lol, although it was also too much fun💙:) Once our very active boy started walking/running at 10 months, he never, ever slowed down again...Now he is a Rock-Climber🧗♀️!! Thank goodness his older Sissy was much calmer before little Bro came along🤪, plus she was 4 years older which helped quite a bit:) ENJOY your sweet "Houdini" because before y'all know it, he will be marching down the aisle at college graduation with Daddy and Mommy crying😭❣!!
@@mionrugheart2340 The "problem" is that they are so adorably PRECIOUS that we decide to maybe have one more, even with being beyond exhausted as new Parents of little ones😴😪~ I would have even wanted a 3rd except had developed Lupus and was simply not medically advisable; plus, we already felt super BLESSed with out two "Gifts from Above🌠"!! Is your BUSY first a Sweet Boy💙 or Beautiful Girl💖, how old now, and may I ask his or her name??
@@hollyfisher8811 Oh,sorry about the lupus.And I guess they were right when they said,we do forget.But sometimes ,stuff happens.I have a 4 year old boy, Manuel.
You're my FAVORITE comedian!!!!😎 Hey NASHVILLE pic on the wall!!!?? That's where im at! Woot wooooot! Small world. BUT U SIR JOHN ARE SIMPLY.....THE BEST!!!!
LOL, this made me remember the time when my bf and his wife showed up for dinner. The wife shows up early and says husband and kid on the way and proceeds to childproof my home. She put all child -level-breakable items in the closet and brought her own outlet covers, it was freakin hilarious. Apparently out of all our friends, ours was the most kid unfriendly as it looks like a museum filled with TONS of breakables.
I didn't realize it wasn't Trey until the video was over and i scrolled through the comments & saw one that said "it was nice of Trey to let you borrow his cardigan" 😳😂
Know what I find hilarious? When I was a kid NOTHING was child-proofed; your parents watched you like a hawk and if you got hurt, you LEARNED not to touch that anymore. Look at how kids are today, and look at how we were 55 years ago. Times have changed. Parents are stressing over everything the kid can get into while THEY play on their cell phones, BUT...WHEN I WAS A KID, there were no cell phones. Parents didn't stress like they do today. Ugh! Spare that rod though. Disciplining doesn't mean "beating" you child. It means stop them, redirect them or teach them a better way. Disconnected parents drive me crazy!
I remember when a lovely couple invited us over for lunch. Me and husband get really nervous when ppl invite us places. Especially ppl who dnt have kids. But we kindly accepted the offer and took our 2 little boys along. So anyways, as we were having our beautiful meal and enjoying ourselves, our 2 yr old disappeared and just so happened to PEE all over their beautiful plush white carpet in the lounge room. Oh, I felt like dying. 🤦♀️i was mortified. But the guy was so nice about it. He was like, all good, i'll just pull out my professional carpet cleaning machine that i bought for no reason. 😂 thank goodness for that. Ps. My son is legit allergic to dust. Out of all the things you could be allergic too. 😂🤦♀️
This reminds me of my neighbour - a dad, not a mom - and why he is no longer welcome at my house! He caused more damage (to both my home and our friendship) with his constant rearranging and demands than any kid ever has!
Im sorry but im having a hard time following John given what recently came to light about him. I understand we all make mistakes but so many women taken advantage of.
No. She's hopeless. She kicks my brother out if he has a sore throat and it's just allergies because she doesn't want to get sick. Or if she feels like she's coming down with something, she kicks him out of the house so he stays healthy so he can take care of their kid and then she ends up not being sick at all.
Same. I can't even talk to anyone longer than 3 seconds bc I'm chasing my kids around telling them not to touch stuff. Always scared they are going to break something or God forbid get a mark on the wall. My dad has always been a paint nazi and gets so mad if anyone touches the walls.
Just don't know how we survived long ago. Nothing child proofed, no car seats, no seat belts and slept on our stomachs. I guess it just made us stronger 😃
I don't childproof anything. 😂 I have 4 kids ranging from 5 yrs to 4 months and taught them "no". Really just teach your kids what "no" means (reinforce with a hand swat when they don't listen) and it's a lot easier! I don't know why people would rather wrestle with it all day long
😂😂😂😂 Really glad to see you are back! Remember to give yourself grace,Gods love is unconditional for you & are forgiven,You are blameless In the eyes of the lord because of what Jesus did at the cross. Don’t allow anyone or any thoughts to hold you captive,Submit every thought to the obedience of Christ. Praying for you brother!
aight i'm not overprotective but it really is a headache takin' my kids to someone's house with zero children. it's a daggum mine field. and when the bombs go off, i'm not even sure what i'm scared of more - my kid losing a tooth or having to pay for excessive glass accoutrements
Not too long ago in South Africa (mostly poor black households) they used candles to light up the house. The baby had to learn the word: Hata. The word hata is a babified version of uzakutsha or uzatsha which means you will burn. And Africans believe that you learn by experience. They'll let baby touch candle and the baby will never touch it again.
What? You mean we're supposed to keep an eye on our own children, especially when we're a guest in someone else's home? I didn't get the memo! False news!
John, hope you go back to the church humor. Especially like that missionary skit, it’s all too true and hopefully makes some look in a mirror. Now for the elephant. Do what needs to be done and move on.
