Parent Psychologist REVEALS Top 3 Parenting MISTAKES (DO THIS to RAISE Healthy KIDS!) Dr Becky 

Thanks to Dr. Becky for sharing her wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again RU-vid.com/lewishowes

(summary) Parenting Insights and Actions 1. Understanding Kids' Behavior: - Principle: Kids are inherently good; their identity is separate from their behavior. - Action: Distinguish between the child's identity ("good inside") and their behavior, which can be addressed and corrected without labeling the child as "bad." 2. Effective Communication: - Principle: A parent's words become a child's inner voice. - Action: Use affirming language and avoid harsh criticism to foster positive self-talk in children. 3. Raising Resilient Children: - Principle: Resilience is more valuable than temporary happiness. - Action: Expose children to challenging scenarios in a supportive context to teach them coping skills and emotional regulation. 4. Dealing with Challenging Behaviors: - Principle: Understanding the root cause of a child's behavior is key to addressing it effectively. - Action: Instead of punishing, seek to understand why the child acted out and work on developing the missing skills or coping mechanisms. 5. Setting Boundaries: - Principle: Boundaries are what we will do, not what we expect others to do. - Action: Clearly communicate your actions in response to certain behaviors, ensuring the child understands the consequence is a result of their actions, not a punishment. 6. Modeling and Practicing Scenarios: - Principle: Preparation and practice help children respond better to real-life challenges. - Action: Role-play challenging scenarios with children, providing them strategies to handle situations effectively (e.g., walking away from taunts). Personal Growth Insights 1. Healing and Self-Reflection: - Principle: Healing from past traumas and reflecting on one's behavior are crucial for personal growth. - Action: Engage in practices that promote self-reflection and healing, such as therapy, mindfulness, and journaling. 2. Building a Good Identity: - Principle: A strong, positive identity is foundational for healthy behavior and relationships. - Action: Work on separating your actions from your identity, affirming your inherent worth regardless of mistakes or failures. 3. The Importance of Repair: - Principle: Repairing relationships after conflicts is essential for growth and connection. - Action: Actively seek to address and resolve conflicts through open communication and empathy. 4. Embracing Discomfort for Growth: - Principle: Growth often comes from facing and overcoming discomfort. - Action: Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone in safe and controlled ways to build resilience. General Actions for Improvement - Reflect on Your Interactions: Regularly take time to reflect on how you interact with others, especially children, and consider if your actions align with the principles of understanding, resilience, and positive identity building. - Seek Resources: Look for books, workshops, and other resources that offer insights and practical advice on parenting, personal growth, and emotional regulation. - Practice Empathy: Make a conscious effort to empathize with others' feelings and perspectives, whether in parenting or personal relationships. - Cultivate Self-Compassion: Recognize that growth is a process and be kind to yourself as you work on becoming the person or parent you aspire to be.

Can we please have her back and have her speak about teens??

Parent words become a child self talk… so powerful!

I don't have kids, but I can certainly remember one of the most hurtful things in childhood being when your parent doesn't believe you!

Funny some adults say that it doesn't make sense, but it makes perfect sense to children when we apply these techniques.

Didn't hear about connect before correct... But I do it with my boys and even share with them my precious growing up memories... It works wonders every time I connect to them even before I correcting them

i am relistening her book again and again one day while bringing my teen daughter from school had such a great conversation i am so glad we are taking about this it’s very important i believe you i saw my teen open up to me briefly , we are working on connection will keep working and not give up on my child thank you

She's honestly brilliant and I understood everything she talked about, it's so refreshing to see someone that knows this stuff and articulates it so well.

41:41 Feelings have a time and place, and don't always need to be public. I'm glad she didn't call her style gentle, because I perceive that to be weak and generating children with poor emotional regulation. Sturdy = balanced. She is teaching that emotional regulation at home, so they can survive and be a good example for others in public. 👏

Also love ‘connect before correct’. When they feel you relate to them, they feel you understand their experience too, THEN they let down their defences.

I see so many issues with the way people are parenting now and even with how schools coddle kids with toxic positivity. I understand why this change happened, they think their parents did it wrong, but we need to remember that our parents did the best they could with zero help, zero advice, & having been raised in a time when kids were very much neglected. Our kids need love, they need to feel they are cared for, but they need leadership and to be taught how to handle hard situations. This was all great information and really goes hand in hand with learning to respond to our kids and not react.

Don’t have kids until you have healed yourself. That’s what her message should be. OR start therapy once you find out you are pregnant. If you are mentally healthy, your kid(s) have a much higher likelihood of being mentally healthy too. 💕

I am glad I stuck around because the first few mins sounded dull. Gratitude 🙏🏼

This is such a great topic. Parenting and the cause of behavior is an important argument and I would like to see more of those conversations. Thank you for your great work.

Another fantastic episode. People need to realize that we're not raising kids, we're raising adults. Can you please have Richard Grannon on?

1/4 of the way through her book 10/10 recommend 🙌🏼🙌🏼 thanks for helping me not only feel closer to prepared for parenting but also helping heal my adult self & inner child 🙏🏼🥲

We are Good Inside!!! All of us ❤ Thank you so so much for such amazing conversation!

Yes, believe and trust their feelings is paramount for helping them build intuitive intelligence processing for emotional literacy, this is essentially brilliant for self-regulation, thanks for sharing these moments of substantial application in real time.

Lewis is my all time ever green hero. when i am stuck i literally type lewis Howes -- i loved Dr Becky’s interview with Dr Huberman did not know this one came out with Lewis literally typed Dr Becky Lewis Howes soo happy to another great resource for 1.5 hrs ecstatic listened it -replayed it and memorized the script when i said to my daughter i believe you in the car while driving i saw the barrier come barrier that is standing between me and her thanks

This is also GREAT info for grandparents! I was brought up differently, I raised my kids in a different way than I was raised, and now I want to learn even better ways to interact with my grandchildren. This was so helpful, Dr. Becky. Thank you!

0:03 @lewis howes thank you for such a great guest! Feeling blessed for useful and beautiful content 😊👍

Perfect explanation Dr. Becky...Emotional Cognition IS our first cognitive process-- so it must be imbued first.

Thank you for that! Amazing conversation 😀

Yes, great content! Exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks a lot!

I LOVE Dr. Becky! So excited to see her on your show!

Many of the concepts mentioned in good parenting books and she has summarised it nicely..

I love Dr Becky, she talks so much sense ❤

It was amazing to hear it. I will come back again.

wow, how she articulates with so much clarity! need to rewatch it time after time

So many insights from the episode! Thank you both Lewis and Dr. Becky 🫶

I disagree that kids don’t validate us for being leaders, because after putting up a boundary, after the struggle, kids will love you more and will be very sweet and obedient for a time. That’s very validating, at least in my experience.

I didn't know about all she has shared but I have been connecting with Boy's the way she explained. It works.

Lewis Howes, you are a gem! The way you question people and validate people…thank you for bringing great guests to us and for sharing your view that the world is a beautiful place.

One of my favourite definitions of greatness, from all of your interviews 💚

What is the THIRD THING

Almost all of her advice is exactly what good teachers do. The only exception is her statement about needing to understand before intervening. Safety always comes first, so this means that intervening is often needed in situations where others are in immediate danger. However, once the situation allows, the understanding should then take place during a restorative conversation.

I’m so glad I found this video .. first I got kind of annoyed when I saw the short video on FB saying : Is not our job to make our kids happy “ but then … I went down the rabbit hole and OMG …. Thank you so much!! 🙏🏻🌟🙏🏻

Lewis always is locked in! Great stuff

This was beautiful! Thank you!!❤

This podcast is amazing , all wisdom insight! Congrats to Becky & you Lewis!!! Just keep it up

Thank you. Dr Kennedy You are the best!!!

Yes, childhood and emotional intelligence isn't just for leadership in the workplace.

watching this not as a parent but as someone's kid who probably needs some healing from wrong parenting that i don't know about. im a ball of anxiety and my coping mechanism is avoidance so i think i need this

Thank you so much for making this happen. I am beyond grateful for this incredibly helpful information. I have been craving guidance and this was so relevant!! Awesome

Actually I think kids heal us but not the way she meant. Kids are triggering, obviously and they should help us to become better ourselves. We learn a lot about ourselves when we have kids and they are a perfect occasion for learning and sharing love and patience. And it’s not easy it will make you tired but happy if you progress.

More power to you for following your intuition Dr. Becky

She is awesome!!!

Love this! She is brilliant.

Wish the messages were clearer, I know she knows what she’s talking about, but this feels like I’m eavesdropping on a happy hour conversation.

We don't parent for 18 years we parent till we die

I like her bench method!

Great conversation. Lewis, you are such a sweetheart and a great listener. A very good roll model for young men these days. Keep up the good work!

This’s very insightful useful impactful information. Thank you both for timely conversation.Stay bless ✌️❤️🙏⭐️🫶🏽

2 seconds in & 100% truth!

Lewis, this is by far one of your best 💫 She is amazing and so is her revolutionary teaching. Thank you both so much...please have her back, and soon 😊

Thank you so much for this beautiful talk 💞✨️🎶🪷

Dr. Becky is amazing

Thank you so much!

Dr.Becky !!! 🤗🤩 what a lovely surprise! Love her content !

Danke!

Sheesh… so many golden nuggets in this video. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thanks for your incredible presentation today Dr. Becky

Becky is a gift to this generation of parents!

I think her topic on repair is invaluable! Please have her back on!!

I love seeing Dr Becky everywhere... should've known your show was next! ❤

Connect before you correct. 9:38 I hope it's never too late.

Good talk. Thank you

If the parent and the child have a healthy attachment they make eachother happy by being there for one another, not by actions.

This was GREAT. Thank you Lewis

I loved her definitions, esp the one about entitlement. So well put.

Someone talking practical thanks for this podcast amazing

Wonderful!!!!!!!

OMG !!! I feel like this is a POWERFUL message!!! Thank you !!!!!!! She is so REAL !!!!

They didn't get to the third thing... So much to talk about. Anyway, Very enriching. Thank you lewis ☺️

My outer adult need some healing too…😂

There is a great man Andrè Stern talking about raising kids. He is awesome. And is this compartible with what dr. gabor mate says about raise kids.

I love this ❤

Yes !

Thank you; learned a lot!

Awesome :) thanks for this. Parenting is the most import if parents want to be successful in any other area of their lives :)

Great advice! I’m struggling with knowing how to emotionally help my daughter when she’s crying to go into school once or twice a week. She has anxiety with how hard school can be and cries when she get out of the car or needs me to walk her in. It’s hard to see her having a rough start to her mornings. Shes in third grade, does great in schools and has friends! She expressed that it’s a long day for her and doesn’t like school overall. Any suggestions?

What I really wanna know is how as a mother I can go about a in public tantrum from a toddler; like for instance the airport? On an airplane? Or in a government building? 😂 I know these are such specific place but for me these are the place where I just go BLANK and just not know what the hell to do! While inside I feel like omg the world is looking at me 😭 and I’m fumbling and I’m bribing just to put this situation to an END!!!

no judgement , no problem solving just be present

Yikes. I was the kid that my mum believed is a bad kid 😬 she even told me as a adult that she thought I’d “not turn out to be a good person” 😢 which is a weird compliment

😊😊😊😊😊😊 Thank you very much for the information. 😊😊😊

I love your content 😍🥰

Love your video

Seems very helpful but have to watch it for 3rd time. Not sure why im not getting it very well.

Yes

Thanks

This should be a requirement for every parent to watch before they leave the delivery room!! ...well maybe that's an aggressive request but it should be required to watch before the first kid is 2. :-) great interview Lewis!

Against all the advice, I have never punished or yelled at my kid. It just didn't make sense to me - instead I created a connection with her. I knew that yelling and punishment would just make a kid feel unheard/angry/defiant, not create real change. She's 13 now and just a great kid.

Perfect

No wonder so many people feel like they don’t fit in with their family or that no one understands them.

Wishing I could have heard her and really heard her, 20 years ago

This makes so much sense. I’m definitely buying her book.

How much do other factors impacting kids, school, teachers & friends ?

I'm half way through and I know I'm watching this again.

Im listening now but what are the 3 'mistakes'?