AMEN!!! I wish I could like this a thousand times! ANYBODY can make a baby but it doesn't mean you're a good parent or what wtf you're doing raising it 🙄😒
Lol if being a parent doesn't make u a first hand expert then no amount of "textbook" qualification will override that... not that professionals in this field can override the expertise of parenthood anyways unless they are parents themselves. And see the thing is children are tailor made, it's not a one size fits all case. And parents are the best experts at figuring out what is best for their child/ren.
@@kimlopez5383 there are people with mental/emotional and other disorders who aren't stable. But as far as a normal person who becomes a parent goes, yeah they are the perfectly fit to raise their kids and the best candidates for these kids.
Im not a parent but Im a teacher and I can assure you that 90% of these parents dont know what the hell they are doing. Kids failing but they rocking the latest Jordans and cell phones, falling asleep in class because they played video games all night, know the words to all the inappropriate songs on the radio but can barely read and the worst part is that when you call the parent concerning behavior or anything academic they dont answer or respond but let their child's phone get taken away for using it in class, the parents break their necks getting down to the school. I could go on but yall get my point which is that just because someone made a baby doesnt mean they know what they are doing. And just because someone doesnt have children doesnt mean they dont know better.
It really depends on what the advice is. I could never give advice on how to stop a baby from crying on the flight to Bahamas because I have no kids. But, I could give some really sound advice on how to help your kid to get through being bullied because I've been bullied before and I know what I needed from my parents at the time.
Me to arya's headband is so cute Aria is going to be as famous as her mom when she grows up every single day I would watch sister sister growing up and now it's my most favorite movie I stopped watching it for a while because I'm in fourth grade now and I need to do my school but on the weekends and on how many days they give us to have break in on summer break whenever I was going to break when I was in 3rd grade I had all the summer break to watch you guys until I watched sister sister and that's what made me grow up and that's the movie that I've watched ever since I was a little and shout out to my sister because she's the one at that like showed me that there was a movie called Sister Sister witch you guys made and so I'm very happy that I saw this movie and I never stopped watching it but then I had to do 4th grade and I was very mad because I really wanted to keep on watching
She is ADORABLE! I agree with Loni. I parent the way the kid's parent's prefer, even my own relatives. I have no children so I give no unsolicited advice. I'm surprised when people ask me anyway. When I say, "Why are you asking me? You know I have no children" they say stuff like, "but you have kids in your family, so you do a certain amount of mothering, so I want your opinion."
+Daphne Hayes she has moments when she's funny, but she's so quick to shoot people down and shake her head to everything. There's nothing wrong with giving people advice, advice is just that. Not the law 🙄
I know a few non parents who keep asking me why parents get mad when they give advice. I asked did they ask for it. They say no so I told them to stop. No one wants unsolicited advice, parent or not
Forget the Non-parents I can't stand those new moms that think they know everything & can advise other moms. I read some articles on it and have seen it too. Like girl you just became a mom, chill.
Being a mom... I'll take advice from anywhere and from anyone with good intentions... It take a village to raise a child so as long as the advise isn't degrading but meant to be helpful, what could it hurt? Some people believe that their way is the only way but children's are different and you have to go through a lot of trials before you are successful.
+Sweetie Sometimes those non parents still have experience with children such as siblings and even teachers who don't have children, but their jobs is to obviously be around children, so they know what to do and what not to do.
+Ashley Christina that is experiencing for a minor few hours a day if you are a teacher you get to go home siblings are different when they get on your nerves you can leave and be by yourself a parent is a 100hr a day for the rest of your life that's the difference
+Sweetie Well that's your opinion I personally have no children and I've been around babies and older for half my life and when I do have my own I know that I will be knowledgable just as someone who probably has more than one children.
+Ashley Christina na it's annoying and you will never understand until you become a parent. if u have good advice to give keep it to yourself unless u been there or they asked you to. Simple as that
I'm so tired of this notion that all because someone put a ring on your finger or some sperm in your belly, suddenly you have instant superpowers that a mere single, childless mortal does not. It's been proven countless times that becoming a parent or getting married does not bless you with any more wisdom than you had before. There's bad parenting and bad marriages happening all over because people don't want to listen to someone's observations. Unsolicited advice may be annoying as hell, but at the end of the day, good advice is good advice, regardless of who it comes from. Since we quoting Bibles to make lame jokes about twerking, I'll quote Proverbs 12:15: "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel." Just like bad advice from a parent/married person doesn't make it any less bad advice, good advice from a non-parent/single person doesn't make it any less good advice. It's the ego that's getting in the way.
+OneLoveRSR Your comment is so insightful. I think the ladies just have some insecurities with regards to their parenting. Otherwise you would simply hear people out, accept what you agree with/think is right and leave the rest. It's really not that serious.
It's not that I think I have a superpower or am extremely knowledgeable, it's experience. However, my mother in law likes to give advice, but so many things have changed since our parents had kids. Back is best, baby led weaning, no blankets in crib, no crying it out until 6 months old. Every child and every parent is different. How I give advice , when asked, is "well, this is what worked with my son, but all babies are different." I am very respectful to other mothers. None of my friends have children and none of them understand the exhaustion, love, or worrying that comes with a child. It's just something you have to experience, but I also hate constantly hearing "well I did this with the boys" etc from my mother in law all of the time.
I think theyre being kinda arrogant. Its not about you, its about your kid. Theyre not even talking about whether the advice is GOOD advice or not...just 'Oh! You can't give me advice cuz you're not a parent!' It sounds like theyre concerned about their egos, not whether or not non-parents can give good advice. All it takes to be a parent is to do 'the do' and pop out a kid. ANYONE can do that. Doesn't automatically make you supermom or superdad. Good advice that helps your kid can come from ANYWHERE. The key is to be humble.
They have the RIGHT. They don't NEED advice they're asking THEIR parents are these people on the internet THEIR parents? I think not . All I'm saying is that these people (not necessarily you) need to leave the parents to do it by themselves
+SparklingJuice247 So if or when your a parent you wouldn't mind constantly getting advice you didn't ask for? If you were doing something as a parent but someone kept telling "Uh, no you shouldn't do that as a parent." You wouldn't mind? Well let me know if or when you have kids so I as a non parent can tell you what you can and cannot do. Then we'll see if you think they're being "arrogant".
you have it spot on!!! the thing with advice is you can either take it or leave it. There are plenty of good and bad parents out there. Becoming a parent does not automatically make you good at giving advice but it helps. Tamar definitely has an ego problem because she became the most defensive during this chat. Ultimately, i wouldn't give a stranger advice on anything without being asked.
+Sapphire Gem oh no im not talking about those instatrollers at all! Thats way out of line! I mean, theyre also saying in general, if ur not a parent dont say anything to me....but to me that limits your potential to learn as a parent
lol we want advice but not from people who don't know what we are going through. That's why I would go to my mom or my sister not my friends who have no clue about what being a parent is all about.
+Mel 21 you can get bad advice from ppl who are parents so It's not about being a parent or not to me . Ppl who aren't parents can see things from a different perspective and can give equally good advice . Hence why Tamera listens to Lonis advice although she isn't a parent
+Mel 21 I do not have children, but I have a bachelor degree in child development. I am going to get my masters. I know a lot of parents that have no business raising children. I do not need to be a parent to give sound advice on child development and how to effectively deal with a child. I have people come to me all the time asking me questions about their child and how to deal with them for their age group.I even talked to parents in the grocery store on how to deal with tantrums and they thank me. A lot of people think I have kids of my own. I took courses on different personality types and how to effectively deal with children do to their personality and age. I think I am more than qualified to help parents out with their children.
I don't agree. There are plenty people who are not parents that can give great advice. Just don't be forceful with it and only give the advice when asked.
+Michie Oo I agree don't be forceful, but some of these parents out here are trash and even non-parents can see how their kids are going to eventually end up. For example, Farrah Abrahams (from Teen Mom) is raising her daughter Sophia to become a brat, Farrah treats her mom like garbage and not only is Sophia seeing that behavior but Farrah also allows Sophia to treat her grandmother the same way and do whatever she wants. I don't have to be a parent to see that little girl is going to grow up and be just as entitled and spoiled as her mother.
+Michie Oo In my opinion non-parents can give great advice from the child's perspective because that's the role they know in a parent-child relationship and sometimes parents can forget what it's like to be a child/teenager. I'm not a parent and I don't give advice to anybody who isn't asking for it but it annoys me when strangers' children are being rude to me and their parents don't say a word. Like a few weeks earlier I was in the supermarket and a little kid was riding a four wheeled toy and he bumped into my leg and then started to bump into me again and again stronger each time and it really hurt my injured ankle and my leggings got dirty and I was staring at the Mom to do something and she just smiled back like "oh look how cute my kid is". Others were staring too because it was loud and not cute. But if I said/did anything to stop him I'm pretty sure the Mom would have been angry at me because how dare I say anything to her kid. So I just stood in the line waiting to move along so I could get out of my misery. Things like this happen to me from time to time and I don't understand how the parents don't get that not everything their child does is acceptable or cute.
Sweetie I think that it's a good thing she has grown and changed, but if you were once in a situation you should be able to empathize and see where those people are coming from instead of acting like you were once never like them. It's like people who lose weight then go around fat bashing. like wait a min weren't you obese last year? But you know, Tamar goes hard for whatever position she is in at the time.
Well...I don't have kids and I was on a plane when the air pressure changed making a little girl extremely uncomfortable. I saw the girl crying and just miserable. I told her parents that if they allow her to chew gum, giving her a piece will lessen the pressure. They gave the girl a piece and it worked....according to this notion I should've had a piping hot mug of stfu ☕ and let the child suffer.
No I think it depends on the circumstances & most people are thinking about the way parent raise their children rather than a situation where you show concern.
I may be wrong but I feel like people without kids can give a different perspective on certain things because once you're a parent you only think about your child's comfort + the child's needs and both of those things sometimes don't go together. So I think people should listen to any kind of advice and not block them out just because they don't have kids themselves. People need to realize that there are tons of people that would be great parents but just made the conscious decision not to have any and thousands of people who don't even deserve to be parents but have children.
+Natasha Kidd I agree. There of plenty of parents that I know of that gave me horrible advice so just goes to show you not to block out wise advice because it's coming from someone who is not a parent. Sorry I just think that is not wise and Tamera and Tamar think they know it all about parenting & I'm like y'all is new parents like really??
Also, a lot of real parents filter their advice to justify their own parenting decisions. A single person can objectively give advice without the need to "defend" anything.
+GEM Entertainment™ i know but I don't like that they say a phrase and interrupt it how they want, its very delicate to my belief! They shouldn't do that and have consideration of there viewers! I love them but idk just a thought of mines
No she actually brought that up a while ago on the show she said she used to be the same way as Adrienne when it came to other people and their kids and she specifically brought up the issues with her sisters...she then went on to say that she finally understood where they were coming from...so you are WRONG
J Brown so are you excited? I was with you bc you were educating me on the situation until you got so excited to say i was WRONG. ....and you sir...are WACK for that :)
Single people are just as capable of seeing parenting flaws and patterns of bad behavior in your child as other parents. You don't need a child of your own to see that mommy's negative attitude is rubbing off on her kid or that daddy's doting and lack of discipline is turning his daughter into a selfish brat. Parents don't want to hear it from singles, because "they don't know how hard it is", but that has nothing to do with whether or not the advice is good. People just need to let go of their ego, their pride, and their insecurities that they have a child but can't figure it out. Good advice can come from anyone (and so can bad advice).
I agree with you. The "you don't even have kids" nonsense is a lazy deflection argument used to make themselves feel better about their own mistakes. I don't have to have given birth to a child to be able to tell a new mother and father that you can't leave a baby in a wet diaper for hours just because there isn't poop in it (I've had to tell people that because they didn't know why their kid kept getting rashes and had to be told that they couldn't leave their baby in a peepee diaper for several hours at a time) I don't need to be a parent to tell people not to let their kids sleep with bottles because the milk makes their teeth rot out and need to be capped. Not everyone can know everything. Sometimes it's just a matter of perspective. You can't see every angle so it helps to have others who can. I really hate defensive parents like Tamera and Tamar. I get that they don't want unsolicited advice, but saying that "you're not allowed to speak until you have a child," is just silly.
Usually if they dislike the advice it means deep down they know that the kid is a misbehaved brat and hate facing the truth. "No, My KiDs ArE PeRfEcT..." yeah sure.
I disagree. I don't have children but if my friend or sister's kid was a spoiled brat I would give them my two cents. I'm not going to sit back and shut up if your child was acting a fool. I'm going to tell the parent to discipline their child. It's just like when I see parents give their children iPads and iPhones, I criticize it because I believe technology at that age is detrimental to their development. But hey, I wouldn't force any parent to take my advice, I'm just speaking on my opinion. It's also ignorant to reject anyone's parenting advice especially if it is beneficial. In fact, studies have shown that people with lower IQ's tend to be the ones who have children while the educated ones don't have children. **"I'M NOT SAYING ONLY STUPID AND UNFIT PEOPLE HAVE KIDS! I'm just saying people who shouldn't have kids are having kids and majority of them get defensive whenever a childless friend or family member tries giving them advice. What Jeannie mentioned is quite true. When you aren't a parent yet, you can learn a lot how others raise their children. It's almost like being on the outside looking in. All in all, I don't think it's right to rule out everyone's advice whether they have kids or not.
That's true but if their saying you should feed her this or that then you shouldn't be talking of its a serious issue or if they are acting stupid and the baby who's like 4 listening to drake then that's a problem and yes I agree with you 100%
Nakia Gregory I feed her whatever I'm eating. My niece's mother is in jail so at this point I'm trying to be a better role model for her than her crazy mom.
I love yall but i can't with this topic, because there are a lot of immature parents out here that need more than advice to raise their kids rather or not they are non parents. I have a mouthful to say about this topic smh
+laptop laptop Well obviously they're not talking about the immature parents. They're more so talking about the parents who are great parents, but still get judged and get advice they didn't ask for. That's why they applied it to themselves because obviously they love their kids, but they keep getting unsolicited advice as if they're bad parents.
laptop laptop very very true...there are people out there who should never have children but they got em and they don't know what they're doing...that's why we have social workers and family counselors
I agree with the unsolicited advice part because I feel like Tamar & Tamera are moreso talking about people on instagram vs real life situations. Just because you don't have kids does not mean you don't know a thing or two about them. I'm 18 & I've been around kids my entire life. My friend is 24 and just had a daughter who seemed to have developmental delays. Because I've been around kids and she showed all the symptoms I advised her to go to a doctor and see if her daughter has autism. Turned out that she did. You don't have to be a mom to know it all about children SMH. I agree w/ Adrienne, If you're close to them they're more likely to hear you out.
+Elizabeth Taylor I agree! There's teachers out there who don't have kids but parents sure take their advice without even knowing. And ALL women were born with maternal instincts because God wants us to have children. I'm pretty sure we all know a thing or two regardless. Only parents that act like they know it all don't want advice. It was such an ignorant thing for them to say.
+Robyn Dae All women were not born with maternal instincts, that's just your reality. Good for you though on surrounding yourself with women who are maternal, but for others that's not the reality. Also God wants women to do as they please and if God wanted every woman to have kids, so many women wouldn't be out here with natural fertile issues. This comment is not to come off as rude btw, just honesty.
but you are her friend showing concern there's a difference most of the advise him parents give don't make no sense to me even now and I have 4 children of my own so like u I grew up around alot of kids area of 150-200 each child is different but u as a friend showed concern where as others would bombard you with bullshit
that's not true you can give parental advice if you don't have kids , women have a maternal instinct , that's like saying , a single teacher can't teach your child only teachers that have children can teach your child. I will say also just because you produce children it doesn't necessarily make you parent. In closing advice unsolicited or not you can either take it or leave nothing to get offended about.
Exactly my point! Thank god someone agrees! Like okay, that person may not have a child or may not have experienced dealing with a child but that doesn't constitute their advice as being "irrelevant". I find that people without children give better advice then actual parents do because they're able to see things with out a bias opinion and are open to other possibilities where as parents just see it one way and only one way. Of course the parent doesn't have to take that persons advice but there other ways to kindly decline/disagree with them rather than being rude about it.
No I disagree. I don't have kids but I am an aunt and I have babysitted my nephews many of times and I may not know what it's like to have kids 24/7 but I know a little bit more than someone who has literally never babysitted (if that's a word) in their life. Then again everyone is different and not all women have a maternal instinct. I love my baby nephew but I could never have children I'm too selfish.
I am a pre school teacher of 14 2-year-olds. I don't have any children of my own, but when I step into my classroom my maternal instincts immediately turn on. The parents ALWAYS ask me for parenting advice, and compliment me on how good some things work. Just because you don't have kids don't mean you can't give parenting advice. You have parents out here that can't even parent their child properly. What about Moms who adopt/foster? Most women have very strong maternal instincts by the age of 16.
+alwayz classy Hint word here is unsolicited advice. In your case it's not unsolicited advice because those parents trust you and your advice and asked you for it. Here they're talking about the people who butt in when no one ask them anything.
+MRZ QUINTIN That's not the only topic they discussed here. This segment wasn't just about receiving unsolicited advice, and the title of the video is the most obvious indication of that. And Tamera has said in other episodes that if you don't have kids, she doesn't want your advice, period.
Jennifer Humphries I never said that was the only topic they discussed. I said Hint word as in clue or indication of the main point that is being made. And so what if Tamera allegedly said that. At the end of the day that's her kids and if she doesn't want to take advice from someone who isn't experienced with kids (which is basically what they mean) than she doesn't have to. I don't get why you guys are so pressed over someone not taking advice they didn't ask for or want. There are more worthy things to worry about.
true.....it's parents out beating their kids everyday, abusing them in every way and have zero control over their kids....if you went to school and you got degrees in child development and here is a parent in dire need of advice...I say GIVE IT...whether you yourself have children or not...because at the end of the day you have to do what's best for the child..there are so many children suffering these days..there are people who spent years in school studying c.d. they don't have children but they work as teachers and deal with 30 children on a regular basis so if their advice is warranted....it's warranted...but I think the issue here is Tamar and Tamera know they're good mothers and they don't appreciate strangers telling them otherwise...Tamera was right about her mother...if that woman molded you into the fabulous woman you are today...why the hell wouldn't you go to her for advice
I respectfully disagree with this. I have an aunt who is super cool and she has two sons. I am only a couple of years older than my cousins but I used to babysit them all the time. My mom was very strict with me, but always reassured that she would be there for me when I needed her. She would literally whoop my ass if I say anything disrespectful to anyone elder than I am. My aunt used to spoil her kids a lot when they were younger and one day my cousin brother literally abused our grandmother once and threw food at her. I stepped in and scolded him very badly. He threw a tantrum and he threw my things off the third floor that day. I tried so hard not to loose my patience with him and later I just had a talk with him and asked him what was bothering him. He opened up to me and he said some of the things that was bothering him in school and how his mother was never around for him. Ever since then, we have been having some great talks whenever we meet (Which is almost every weekend). Somehow, I feel like all teenagers need is validation for what they are feeling. You can't help the way you feel. All you need to do is tell them it is alright, they just need to make the right choices at the end of the day. To this day, he calls me up if he is in trouble, if he needs anything at all. I never gave my aunt any advice, and I also feel a little bad about saying this, but I did parent my younger brother, a little more than she did. I just wish I had spoken to her about it, because I know that my aunt is a nice person with very little time for her family. I feel bad every time he talks badly about her. You don't have to be a parent or even be of certain age to give advice. I think, those who know you and your kid well can give you some insight, as to why your kid is behaving a certain way.
If you don't want unsolicited advice from non-parents, then do your job and teach them how to act in front of people. That way, nobody will have to tell you anything or discipline them for you. Being a parent doesn't mean you know it all. Most of the time, people mean well.
That's true! Some parents don't know how to parent their children. I have seen kids acting so bad and the parents don't care. They don't even scold them!
Intersectionality you don't have any right to tell a parent how to discipline or raise they child it is there child and when it comes to their child yes the do know most things
Intersectionality woooah hold the phone. Idc how the child is behaving in public you don't know if the child is disabled or what the situation is. Mind your business.
Amen. There are plenty of people without children who know more about raising a child than those who have children. There are plenty of parents who have a baby because they were irresponsible and got pregnant or because it was a societal expectation. It is a sensitive issue and there is a way to go about it, if a parent isn't being a parent. I like that it was acknowledged in here that there are exceptions. Some people may not have their own, but have been around children. I've been dealing with kids all my life, including when I was a kid. I took care of my nephew for years. Now I'm a teacher. I'm a kid expert. I was out to breakfast with a male friend and his two kids. I did tell him that he needs to cut up his little ones pancake... she is 3. That was natural for me... but he is fairly new to doing the parent thing on his own. Just because someone doesn't have kids, doesn't mean they don't know what they are talking about. Just because someone is a parent, doesn't mean they do know.
They were contradicting themselves in this clip. They don't want advice from kidless but complimented Loni's advice. So which is it? Also, if parents don't want advice from those without kids, here's an idea guys: STOP COMPLAINING TO US ABOUT YOUR KIDS! We are not mute. If you don't want to hear what we gotta say, Get out our ear. Emkay?
+mscourt They said they don't want unsolicited advice...meaning advice they didn't ask for. Loni has a lot of experience raising kids, so if they ask her about it, they will gladly accept her advice. Sometimes friends want to vent instead of asking for advice, but I kind of get what you're saying.
Tamar's attitude is coming from the things ppl have said about her in regards to Logan on instagram or other social media probably. Same w. Tamera. Even though their advice is unsolicited, how do you know those ppl are not parents?
Nah I don't have to do anything. Tamar and Tamera used ppl on social media as examples. So CLEARLY that is where they're (esp Tamar's) opinion is coming from.
Tamera and Tamar act like they are the perfect parents....You should be willing to accept advice from people if it is constructive... I dont have kids but ive seen some people close to me dealing with their kids in a poor manor and the child becomes spoilt and rebelious. So are you suppose to just sit and watch parents make a mistake ??
if they don't ask for it they it's none of your business. unless u actually see the kid being abusied then of course report it but if the kids are just being rebellious and all then just look the other way
+Adventures Of Kiyomi Parents are allowed to make mistakes. If they don't ask you for help/advice, keep it. Every woman who has been pregnant/had a baby seem to echo this sentiment. IDK why people keep thinking offering these unsolicited advices
+Mel 21 if your child is doing something completely unsafe I'm not waiting for you to ask me before i say something. that would be negligent on my part as a responsible adult citizen lol
Ama O well duhh 😑 but I'm saying in general. If we didnt ask for the advice then bye. Haha but if you see something not right or the kid is doing something unsafe well then yea I would understand. But we're talking about advice here that's different
+Adventures Of Kiyomi They did not say they don't accept advice from people. They clearly stated that they would accept advice from an older person who has been around children. Tamera also said she asks her mom for advice. It's not a matter of acting perfect it's just that they weigh whose advice they accept.
I don't have kids, but I sure do deal with a child everyday. You don't have to be a parent to give parental advice. If you have brother and sister you deal with them every single day just like the parent does. So you know what to do most of the time because you're around your siblbings everyday. I ain't tryna hear that.
kwilcox1126 that COULD POSSIBLY work if the parents are 100% completely out the picture and your raising the kids, but I still feel it's a bit if not a lot different
the idea that having kids makes you somehow above accepting advice from people without kids is insane. being real for a second, popping a baby out does not instantly bestow this divine ability to raise a child. some people are good at it, and some people are bad at it. most of the time it's trial and error, but sometimes people just get something right first try. anyone, parent or not, can get lucky with a strategy/technique. good advice is good advice regardless of who it comes from. good parents would show the wisdom to recognize what is good and bad advice, regardless of the source, and make their decisions based on that. bad parents would turn down advice right off the bat based on some belief that you have to be a veteran to win a battle
I'm the oldest of a family of 6. I've basically helped raised my siblings as if they were my own. I don't necessarily think just because I don't have kids of my own, doesn't mean my parenting advice won't be as consistent as advice from someone who does. Only difference is, they didn't come out of my body.
I think it's because not everyone has been a parent but everyone has been a child so they've experienced that bond one way or another and they're just putting their two cents in probably from a perspective of when they were a children
+cutie1847 Exactly. When people become parents they suddenly get amnesia and completely forget what it was like to be a kid/teenager, I feel like the people without kids sometimes try to remind them of that in their advice. Like someone who became a parent and is all of a sudden super strict, even though most kids with SUPER-STRICT parents turn out to be the wildest of the bunch..someone without kids might try to remind a parent of that, I think it's actually naive for someone to only listen to the advice of someone with kids...NEWSFLASH there are terrible parents out there that shouldn't be giving any type of advice but according to Tamar she would listen to that person before she listens to someone reasonable without kids, like Adrienne's "mirroring" advice came from Dr. Drew WHO IS A PARENT.
I couldn't agree more. My family has tons of family friends that all have kids that are younger than me. Sometimes you'll hear them say something or take something too serious. and now as a young adult I remember what it's like to be 13 I remember what it's like at 16. I remember how my parents handled situations and how I wish they handled situations. Sometimes parents can be hyper sensitive and think that because you have a suggestion your criticizing them when in reality your offering an idea from another perspective. Look at Adrienne's example you would rarely see a mom lay down on the floor and pretend to cry with their baby... But an aunty would and it worked! It takes a village to raise a child. Now I'm not saying to listen to randoms and strangers who you don't know #iainthereforthat but I am saying some of the best advice can come from the most unexpected places.
+cutie1847 Exactly, I don't have children but I do have have parents and have always been the oldest from my siblings and cousins, so many of my friends with children do ask for my advice or are open to my perspective because I don't just talk out of my butt, things make sense based on experience, though I haven't officially been in the parenting role.
Single people seem to always get the short end of the stick! And so many folks who are engaged/married with kids seem to forget when they were single themselves. It's always this "you just can't understand" type of thing every time they discuss some aspect of their lives. And they are notorious for dropping single "friends" from their inner circle, just like that. So I just avoid having these type of people in my personal space unless it's certain family members who are quite unique in this regard.
I agree. some ppl make it seem like being single and childless is a sin. I find it hurtful. When i give advice i give the perception. i never say what someone should be doing. i just give a different perception.
It's an unfortunate thing because those in that situation seem to take for granted that you're single AND childless. It's ok for them to drop you without guilt because hey you don't have anything to offer me now that I'm a parent. Not cool! I can offer advice with a different perspective. I may not be a parent but I was a child/teenager so I can have some good things to offer. Like the commenter said I offer my opinion I don't push onto others.
MsSooRandom And it's not merely about the advice giving part. It can make the single person reflect on whether the overall connection/friendship was just a process of them being strung along until the other parties "moved on to more important things." Get me?
As a person with no children, I don't run around advising people how to care for their children. I do hold a masters degree in which I am educated about child development. I had a situation where one of my siblings made a smart ass comment asking me, "how many kids have you raised?" The subject was child development & I simply stated what my nephew was doing was normal. Well, after that smart ass comment, I politely reminded my sibling not to call me when they need someone to watch their kids. I suggest, considering the source & the advice that is being given because there are people who have had kids but, they may be horrible parents, not have custody of their kids or don't see their children to parent them.
how about when YOUR kid is acting a fool and you letting them? how about when these "parents" don't take the time out to PARENT their kids? how about...that ain't none of my business. nevermind 😐🍸
haha I get you ! that usually happens when you go the mall or something and u see kids running around parents doing nothin. na I just make a face to them don't gotta say anything. cuz you're right it's none of our business but I think it's safe to at least make a face to the parents
I work in retail and we have kids acting crazy all the time. We normally make an announcement over the intercom for parents to stay with and retain their kids, but if that doesn't work I go up to the child and reprimand them (most of the time the parent isn't with them, even toddlers, that's why I talk to the child and not the parent). In some cases it has to be done because I have seen too many children get hurt in the store that I work in due to the lack of parenting. So if a child is in potential danger, then yeah, parent or not I'm giving you advice, otherwise to each their own
4:23 My husband had one the BIGGEST arguments with HIS mother on something we were doing to discipline our children. Point. Blank. Period. He told her he respected her opinion but he didn't ask for her ADVICE!!!! Yas honey. She was lit. oh well. He went and got the dictionary (mom and sister were teachers) and read her the definition of ADVICE. He told her that hers was UNSOLICITED. #boom #myHusbanddidit
Raquel Rene' GIRL HE IS A KEEPER.! I grew up with peoples two cents in all my parents face telling them how to raise us even though my parents had 10 of us.... my dad wouldn’t take it. He was going to raise us how he knows works for him, my mom and us..... he always said that to my my mom side of the family because it was always them who thought they knew better
+Haïlié Sélassié The other culture you are referring to are authoritarian. In the Western, you have the freedom to make your own decision instead of being imposed rules that are old fashioned and aggressive.
+Haïlié Sélassié You know what...you are so correct. I've come to believe that more and more even though I am from the Western Hemisphere, lol. So many preach about love, community, togetherness and family but it's not genuine. It's based on Earth traditions and lies, not purity of the spirit and heart.
This is so ignorant. I know parents who have no business raising children. A lot of young people who are dismissed can have degrees in child development that can give advice to you and your child. That is exactly what is wrong with a lot of adults, especially mothers. Women that have children automatically assume they are born to know how to be a mother and know what is best; that is far from the truth. I am 22 years old, I have a bachelor degree in sociology and child development. I am going to get my masters. I have no children, but I can give advice on how to effectively deal with children of all age groups. Come one now, age has nothing to do with knowledge.
I agree with you totally! Arrogant poo parents usually DO NOT ask for advice. They just do a poor job, so you HAVE to say something sometimes. Kim Kardashian stopped breastfeeding her son because her 2 year old daughter didn't like the baby getting attention. So the idiot mother denied the newborn his nourishment for the whims of a toddler. Who does that?!! THAT is a case of a parent needing advice.
I think that it's all about knowledge and experience. Anyone can have children. I've seen some of the most unfit people give birth to children and they don't know what the heck they're doing. As well as I've seen people who don't have children give good parenting advice. Lets be real, if those who have children know what they're doing opposed to those who don't have children, then we wouldn't have so many children raised in foster care and/or abused at home. Just because someone doesn't have children doesn't mean they know or don't know what they're talking about. It really depends on the person.
And if they know exactly what there doing why do they always have to talk about it. There's always room for growth. Why not just listen to other's ideas, whether they are a parent or not.
I'm sorry but if you don't know anything about children nor have been around children than you have nothing to tell me about my children. I don't need a single person who has never been around kids telling me how to raise my kids. and you can tell the difference between those who have been around kids vs those who has never been around kids.
@@pecoliawilliams145 no one needs to be around kids WE ALL WERE EFFING KIDS!! No one came out an adult. If you cant take lessons from your own parents, your own raising and what they did good or bad on you and be honest with which parts of your personality are products of failed parental rules, then you arent self critical and intelligent enough. I already know what I will take from my parents and what I will wholeheartedly reject as I am still struggling on my own self to change what they effed up.
@@dnicole4236 You kidding right of they changed from when you younger to older and then after you have kids most of the times you change from the complete person you was before you had you baby
Its so hard to pay attention to what the ladies are saying with all that cuteness in the middle lol. But i did pick up on when Tamera talked about people critiquing her parenting skills all because Rihanna's song Work was playing while Ariya danced. Lol, she's just a baby and she doesn't even understand. Hell, I didn't even understand what Rih was saying in the song. lol i had to google the lyrics.
Once I was in a park and these (I'm guessing childless) people came up to me to tell me my kids over there were acting up and giving me advice on how to raise them. I don't have any kids. They definitely weren't mine. That's when I figured out that a lot of people give advice because they have a superiority complex, not because they're trying to "help."
I don't have any children, but I have 4 nieces and 3 nephews and I worked in daycare for over a decade and now I work as a special education TA. I'm not ever one to judge, but if someone posts to Facebook or something and they seem frustrated or they're asking for advice, I will share the knowledge I have. I've learned a LOT about kids being around them for so long. And I always preface anything I say with "I'm not a parent and I know that kids often behave different for mom and dad then they do for aunties, teachers, etc but these are a few tricks I've learned over the years. Maybe it'll help?"
Southern Rocking Revolution True. I don't have any babies, but being around so many .... I've learned a thing or two. Shoot. I might be better at parenting than some of these parents out here. Smh.
I think this segment should have been called "Unsolicited advice". Because I believe most of the problems come when a stranger and in their cases fans and followers make assumptions about their lives and comment and give advice about their children and lives! Like seriously in real life would you really go up to a stranger and tell them about their kid?? And guess what nobody asked you!!
+Sydney D Remember when Adrienne announced she was dating again and that whole rumor saying that her new man was still married when they started dating? Well, Tamar was acting kinda rude when Adrienne was speaking about it. Not too long ago, maybe a month or so.
+Sydney D I've noticed that too. Great they on vacation right now from the show, so they can have a break from each other. I don't know, she has been acting quite different to her. And I need Tamar not to act like she wasn't ALWAYSSSSSS trying to give her sisters advice.
Because Tamar is insecure and probably lowkey jealous of Adrienne. Tamar will treat everyone like that unless they stand up for themselves and I don't think Adrienne has the balls to put Tamar in her place.
+Catherine Rochell I think Adrienne knows that if she were to put Tamar in her place then it would cause conflict because Tamar can be quite the immature type. For the sake of the show, they won't be 100% real, in order to avoid drama.
I agree that people should not give unsolicited advice to people they don't know, especially when the child is not in danger or being hurt. But I disagree that you can't advice people if you don't have children. People CAN have knowledge and experience with somethings without having a child. They're many pediatric doctors who give sound advice and don't have children.
Good advice can come from anywhere and bad advice can come from anywhere. It doesn't hurt to keep your ears open and take some things as a light suggestion. Nobody's holding a gun to your head.
I love that when Ariah grows up she'll watch this video and see 1) that she was a co-host on such an amazingggg show ❤ haha and 2) she'll see what a hard working and inspiring mother she has. 💛 3) that she's the cutest baby that ever existed 😩
Tamar and Tamera really get on my nerves when they say non parents can't give them advice about their kids etc... I do recall Tia offering Tam Tam parental advice when it came to Aden and Tamera completely dismissed her... So trust, it's more of an EGO thing as opposed to a "you're not a parent, so you wouldn't understand" issue....
I disagree. I see what your saying but I also see what they are saying. To me, if I don't ask don't say anything. That's what they are saying, people giving advice when they didn't ask for it, that irritates me too. If I don't ask for your opinion, then I don't need it.
+Bre'auna Boyd I agree, and going back to their reality show I felt like Tia was a little too pushy with her parenting advice. Tia wanted Tamera to listen to every single thing she said and not ask anyone else for advice. They've said on multiple occasions that their kids and parenting Styles couldn't be more different, and that's ok.
jodiii122 I think that they just don't care about your advice. I would honestly be the same way if someone was trying to give me advice on how to raise MY child. I don't care to hear your advice nor did I ask you for it. Don't worry about me and mine worry about you and yours.
I was a teacher for awhile of all ages and I may not have children but I can tell you this that most parents are not even doing there job as a parent. The reason why I quite teaching is because Now and days they just take away their phone and that's it, no discipline or anything. The problem with parents is that they think their child is so perfect and doesn't do anything. I feel like people forget what they did and what other friends did when they were young so they don't even parent at all. the only things that change when you finally have a kid is 1) now you and / or your lover are no longer important, your child is important, they come first. 2) you have something to care about/ love more than yourself 3) no more parties and spending money on useless things.
+KoreanPolish*G-Man yes I agree I am a counselor and they way I grew up and this generation of parenting is difference, this is the you cant tell me anything generation and that's the reason our communities are in a disarray , when I was younger it was a community of "concerned adults" that raised me, what's this attitude if you don't have kids you cant give me advice if your child was in harms way or for the betterment of the child it shouldn't matter.
I don’t have children. I don’t like how some parents will go on and on to you complaining about their kids then when you offer advice they are like shut up what do you know. Well why do I have to listen to you gripe if you don’t value my opinion? Actually sometimes not being part of a situation can make you more objective and give better insight. A lot of people get really defensive if anyone says anything negative about their kids’ bad behavior even when it’s true. One of my friends has a daughter who acts a fool often when she is around but not when it’s just us or her dad. She can’t play us like she plays her mom. I told her mom her problem is she is a pushover but what do I know.
Actually Tamara, babies are FAR more receptive than what is popularly known. Just like they absorb all the words and actions they see and hear around them to learn how to talk, they are absorbing the words to inappropriate songs. That's why there are studies that prove when babies are exposed to music like Mozart or learning videos, they have a more proficient and quicker learning ability than the average student when they get to school. Monitor what your babies and children listen to.
+osimeon00 Although that is correct, this is Tamera we're talking about. I'm sure they're not ALWAYS listening to rihanna and trap or "ratchet" music in Tamar's words. There definitely has to be some gospel music and kid songs in her playlists that she has Ariah listen to. I think the problem she had was people were judging her off of seeing one short video and making her seem like a bad mom.
+osimeon00 While I agree with you, I disagree with people's opinions of music perception. While I don't understand the concept of twerking, I understand it actually really doesn't hurt anybody, so I let it be. I, personally, choose NOT to twerk, that's my choice. I still don't understand as to why we're twerking in public. I don't see the benefit from it, but do you, boo. Same goes with music. As long as Tamera teaches her children values and morals (which I'm sure she does), what's wrong with listening to music that's a little provocative? Why is it "wrong"? That's the part I want to know.
xAaeiynx Well depending on who you talk to, "provocative" music may be not be a bad thing. When it comes to children however? That's a whole different story. I don't think it's right to have a children listen to "I twerk my booty" just because they may not understand. I feel like that's akin to having them listen to KKK music or maybe satanic worshipping music. But it's okay cause they can't understand? There has to be a line somewhere.
+Ashley Lovett And I will happily and promptly respond in the appropriate manner. It is this insular and narcissistic approach to parenting that contributes to the wide spread ill discipline. Where I'm from we still have the approach that it takes a village to raise a child. We work together to discipline, feed, clothe and educate OUR children.
What most people forget is that we were all children and we can have an opinion on what would be ideal. In addition, many people were born into caregiving for their siblings. So those of us who have had that experience can offer great advice when asked.
I completely disagree. A stranger telling Tamera what music her children should listen to is ridiculous. But if your kid is running around in public acting up/interfering with other people trying to do their business, it is absolutely appropriate for someone to say something to you. Also, just because someone doesn't have children doesn't mean they haven't spent a lot of time with kids. Tons of people without kids work with kids all the time - teachers, pediatricians, babysitters, nannies. People without kids judging you is wrong, but refusing to try someone's advice just because they don't have kids themselves is silly.
I disagree on this, as someone who basically raised her little cousin from the age of 1-12 I give people advice all the time. But like Tamera said it's only if they ask, if they don't ask I just let them figure it out for themselves. My friend has a son who is almost 2 and I give her advice most of the time, she appreciates it and uses it. I think if you've never had experience raising a child then that's different. Just don't do it in a rude or forceful way, also if it's something personal just don't day anything. But let's say a child is hitting their mom, it doesn't take someone who has kids to understand. That's common sense that you need to stop that behavior immediately. So again I think it depends on the situation but I also can't stand those new moms who think they know everything. That was actually the way my friends acted when she first had her baby. She was acting like she knew everything about kids and I basically told her "You'll find out soon that you don't".
+Victoria Barnes I don't have kids, so I never say anything. I just let the parent, parent. Then again, it's always so awkward, when you do know the answer to something but don't know how to give the advice. This goes for everything, in general, kids, games, cooking, etc. How do you confront a stranger, "politely". I always find it awkward and difficult.
xAaeiynx I normally just ask my friends if they want my advice. Sometimes they say no but most of the times they say yes because they know I've raised and been around kids my whole life. I was taking care of babies when I was 10, it's not hard to know what they need. But when it comes to discipline everyone is different. So I tell them they have to try what feels right to them. Then if that doesn't work I'll tell them some things I use to do that worked for me. I don't ever confront strangers though, unless they're asking online or something. But if I see a kid in public acting out I just keep walking. You never know what led up to that and you never know if they're just cranky.
+Victoria Barnes I think what they are trying to say is it's one thing if they ask but another if some stranger just gives unwanted advice when they didn't ask and I agree with them. If I didn't ask you then don't comment. I think that's what they are saying
Victoria Barnes if you raised your cuz from the age of 1-12 like you say then you know about children. This is not the case for everyone and having a child is much different come back and continue this conversation when you have a child hun you’ll think differently trust me. Especially the 1st year of its life and the 9 months because being a parent starts once you’re pregnant 🤰🏽
Someone could raise fifteen children and still not know anything about raising one specific child. Children, families, societies/cultures and situations are all different. You just don't know and you won't ever fully understand.
Oh please. I'm tired of this topic. How many times have people given advice in life when it wasn't asked for? But your kids are off limits? I don't have kids, but I suffered with abuse. If I see something similar to my childhood or wrong in general, I'm going to say something. Shut up.
I agree and disagree. I don't have children, so I don't say anything about specific situations, etc, especially if they're not abusive. But, with a lot of situations that happen the solutions are just common sense and it doesn't take a parent to know what to do; it just takes a mature adult. And, after watching a parent, in public, fail to control a situation that takes a little common sense, you can't blame other people for trying to step in and help so they can go back to enjoying that public space, as well. Those people's right to enjoy that space is being infringed upon because some parent can't parent at that particular moment, and that's not fair to everybody else. People with children often think they have more rights than people who don't have children, and they don't. It's like it's an unspoken entitlement they have that's politically incorrect to talk about and/or dispute.
